Sinful Surrender is the third book in the Mafia Misfits series by Asia Monique and, to me, undoubtedly the most infuriating. It’s 207 pages of misused/mispelled words, improper grammar, missing words, telling us instead of showing us, and a mind-melting female lead who can’t seem to make up her mind on whether she wants the male lead or not.
I wanted to like Akira, really I did. I understood what the author was trying to convey—a woman struggling to let go of her grief while falling in love again. But it didn’t come across that way. Instead, I saw a female lead who couldn’t seem to let poor Matteo go but also didn’t want to see him with anyone else. She literally threatens a random woman at knife point because of her insane jealousy, and Matteo’s reaction? To shame the woman for wanting to sleep with a man who “wouldn’t step in to protect [her.]” Excuse me? Matteo could’ve stepped in but, because he has feelings for Akira, didn’t, so how was that that poor woman’s fault?
Over and over again, Akira refuses to heal from the loss of her husband, Samuel, nine months after their marriage. I understand the sudden and unexpected death of who you thought was the love of your life knocking you on your ass, but the story picks up—I believe—two years after his death. Two years she’s refused to move on and heal. And it isn’t as if she doesn’t have the money to talk to professional; her family’s literally yakuza. I doubt they’re hurting for money. And she fooled around for a full year with Matteo and seemed to guilt him every time he expressed his feelings.
And Matteo was far too lenient with Akira. Time and time again, he gave her chance after chance and chance, letting her into his penthouse, letting her into his life, which wasn’t healthy. I really just wanted him to say, “No, you know what? I’m done. If you really want to be with me, you’ll have to show me.” Instead he indulges her with little touches and hugs and reassurances that he’ll always be there for her.
At the 60% mark, suddenly, Akira can admit that she’s missed Matteo. And she goes on to say that she’s “fragile” when it comes to her friends and loved ones being blasé about death. She’s literally in yakuza. Her being freaked out so much about death doesn’t make any sense. Was this because she lost Samuel or is it something she’s always struggled with? Being yakuza and mafia like they are—it’s a given that their lives can end at any minute. It feels like her anxiety over death stems solely from losing Samuel. It feels like she’s completely content to completely gloss over and ignore the realities of their lifestyles.
While I enjoyed how Matteo worshipped the ground Akira walked on, I was definitely not a fan of how instalove/instalust the story felt. We hardly saw any of their year together save for the first two chapters, so we didn’t see how the two of them fell in love. In my opinion, Matteo deserves so much better than someone who happily wallows in their grief and uses it as a smokescreen whenever he got too close to but refused to break things off. She didn’t respect him at all when he put his foot down. Instead she breaks into his bedroom and tries to rekindle things, knowing how he feels.
And I can understand the gesture behind him finding the drunk driver that killed Samuel, but I was just confused. If her yakuza connections couldn’t find him, how did Matteo? What, does he have better connections than her? The driver’s death barely left an impact on me as a reader; honestly, it would’ve been better if Akira was the one to find him and torture him for killing her husband, as opposed to it being a big gesture of love from Matteo. I understood what it was trying to do, but it took away Akira’s agency in what could’ve been a very cathartic, meaningful scene.
And dear lord, this book needed an editor. Desperately. There’s dialogue being punctuated with action instead of dialogue tags, missing words, misused/misspelled words. Two examples that come to mind is Akira saying, “Our dads’ our brothers.” It’s a simple sentence. Our dads are brothers. That’s how it should’ve been written. Another example is “she fiend innocent.” She feigned innocence. The book is full of sentences like that, which made me want to pull out my hair. And the writing is choppy as hell, with unnatural dialogue, constant lack of contractions, and wordy as all get. Half the time, I was cutting down the sentences in my head and thinking of edits. Even if there was no way for an editor, there’s free programs and built-in editors for writing software.
I skimmed after 85%. I did not care and I don’t think I’ll be reading anything else from this author. Which is a shame because I can see myself loving it if she hired an editor.