The First Ambassador to Crustacea

by Ashton Macaulay

The galaxy is a colorful place and Crustacea is no exception. Born on a whim of a madman, the planet of psychic crabs evolved through a combination of radiation, cosmic energy and what scientists could only describe as ‘the right vibes’. Now, the crustacean leadership must deal with the impending arrival of the first ambassador from the United Commission of Planets, renegade lobsters, and foul creatures lurking in the deep.

Praise for Crustacea:

"The spirit of vintage sci-fi is gushing out of this thing. I love it!" - M.T. Roberts, Author of The Ghost in the Grass

“It crabwalks right into your heart on buttery smooth legs and lays eggs in your left ventricle. A must-read." - Nick Dorsey, Author of The Immortal Phinneas Gauge

"Engaging, interesting read, and can be enjoyed in a single sitting (which I highly recommend.)" - Vanessa Krauss, Author of One Aon Fatality

Genres: Science Fiction

74 pages, Paperback

Published September 27, 2022

About the author

Ashton Macaulay is a fiction writer living in Seattle Washington. His latest novel, One Night at Kedasi, is a sci-fi comedy featuring a sarcastic ship captain and her best friend, a five-foot tall talking shrimp. Previous works include Whiteout, the tale of drunken monster hunter, Nick Ventner, Man of the Mountain, an intriguing novella surrounding a man trying to maintain the Bigfoot legend and various short stories.

While Ashton doesn't have any awards to display on this lovely page, Kirkus did call Whiteout: "An often engaging, if sometimes-clichéd, tale with an acerbic lead." Of that lead, they also said: "He often embellishes, either intentionally or as a consequence of his alcohol intake; he’s a wonderfully human protagonist who makes mistakes and is ill-prepared for his treacherous journey."

You can find more information on upcoming work at Ashton's website: MacAshton.com

Reviews

[Nick Dorsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I do not usually overindulge with regards to seafood as my people are prone to gout, but I made an exception with this book.

[Ben Mariner · Rating 4 out of 5]

The absurdity of this book is what makes it so much fun to read. I've read a couple of Macaulay's other books and this one is on track with the others and I certainly mean that as a compliment. A short, quick, fun adventure into the depths of a ludicrous ocean full of self-loathing, defeatism, and going with the flow. Super fun.

[M.T. Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

High energy, high stakes fun. Macaulay once again summons the essence of sleek storytelling and immersive world building one would associate with the old sci-fi greats. I’d wager F. M. Busby and Harry Harrison will both have to make room, make room!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a weird fucking book.


It was fully a cover buy, and it was just. Such a good-weird little story.

[Vanessa Krauss · Rating 5 out of 5]

The United Commission of Planets sends an ambassador on a first encounter mission, to mostly infer the nature of Crustacea’s citizenry. An unenviable position given to Pilsen, a political louse. His single human companion on this excursion is war veteran and captain, Zip, who has seen far too many fights with giant bugs to really want much to do with this mission. But hey, it pays.
They meet up with Crustacea’s crab representative, Huron, and her not-shrimpy shrimp aid, Tom. But things go awry when the lobsters revolt.
Macaulay writes it very straight, despite how absurdist the concept sounds. The crabs got smart and big, and can communicate. Just go with it. Familiar in their humanity and their biology, alien in everything else. The cravings for crab legs and garlic butter diminish as the story goes on, once the denizens of Crustacea are formally introduced. Engaging, interesting read.
Highly recommended, and readable in a single sitting. Inexpensive and more satisfying than any experience at Red Lobster will ever be.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a really fun brief read. If Ashton Macaulay every expands this concept to a full novel or pens any sequels, I'll definitely be buying them. It gave me Douglas Adams vibes while still being original. I have an aversion to crabs, they really give me the ick. So, it was immensely funny to me that the first giveaway I won was a novella concerning a planet of highly evolved psychic crustaceans, but I'm glad I did otherwise I would have missed out.

[S · Rating 5 out of 5]

I won this book via Goodreads Giveaway.

This book was a delight, pure and simple.
In under 60 pages the story takes off, keeps you on the edge of your seat, and the ending is great - finished, but lets you daydream about what might come next. It’s fun all the way through. Right up my alley.
I can already think of a few people who will be getting this as a gift from me.
Also - as this was a giveaway, I really appreciated the personal note from the author and the tubular sticker & bookmark. Thanks!! Can’t wait to read more of your work.

[Eli · Rating 4 out of 5]

A planet of giant sentient lobsters, crabs, and shrimp, what more could you want?

[Becky · Rating 4 out of 5]

Oh my goodness this was such a fun read! It was short at under 60 pages and yet there was so much going on. I didn’t know I was into galactic politics, giant psychic crabs, and underwater battle scenes, but if Macaulay ever makes this into a series I’ll buy them all. Also the cover art is stunning!!!!

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

I know what you’re thinking… another book about sentient crustaceans and their diplomatic struggles in outer space?? However, this book is the most unique and joyful read you’ll have. Macaulay has an amazing talent for making the most outrageous stories natural, easy reading, and down right hilarious. Excited for the next addition to this series!

[John Ceccarelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

Another incredible story from a beautiful mind. Ashton leaves breadcrumbs throughout hinting at a fascinating world, as we see a little bit behind evolution, politics, and general direction of how first meetings between species can go. I loved how he described each of the Crustaceans, as well as everything he slyly dropped about the world itself. I want to know more about Crustacea, and how things came to be how that have.

[Elizabeth Brokaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

Politics is vicious and preconceived notions can get you in a lot of trouble.

It’s worth the effort to grow, do the right thing and challenge yourself.

Though the words are few the story is strong and the author has created a base whereby a vast number of adventures could take hold.

[Katrina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Why was it so short?? I’m invested these characters now and need to know what happens next!

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Come for the politics, stay for the giant psychic crabs 🦀

[MikeLikesBooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

I want to thank the author for sending me an eBook. What a fun, exotic , bizarre and outrages story. The UCP controls the galaxy and they send an Ambassador to Crustacea for the first time. This planet has been left alone for many years because its inhabitants are the likes of crabs, lobsters and shrimps. Yes you read that right. As the ambassador is meeting the Crustaceans and band of rebel lobsters attack. From thee it gets even more interesting. What happens to the ambassador? Is the rebellion put down? Those questions are answered by reading the book.

The characters are great. I would love to read more about this world and what happens next.

[Jessica Qiu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Without spoiling too much (as I do tend to spoil plots when I get overly excited about them), The First Ambassador to Crustacea was and is a complete joy to read from beginning to end. I especially liked the *cough* little cameo from a possible other series (that I also highly recommend reading by this author). The novella is jammed pack with comedy, vivid descriptions, thought-provoking concepts, and of course, one of my favorite foods - seafood.

Read it. 'Nuff said.

[Dima Todo · Rating 5 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook with my wife coming back from an outing. It’s a fast paced, action packed, little adventure that seamlessly blends world building and adventure. The few times that the story takes a back seat and we get to dive into a play by play of what the characters are thinking really stuck with me. If you liked it I recommend following up with One Night at Kedasi which continues the adventure of Nana’s Hog and its crew.

[Kelly Roberts · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an absolute treat! I didn’t want it to end—I was too caught up in the quirky characters, the offbeat charm, and the deliciously bizarre storyline. It’s short, snappy, and full of those “wait… did that really just happen?” moments that keep you grinning. The humor lands perfectly, the characters feel surprisingly relatable. Highly recommend!

[Kendyl Daniels · Rating 5 out of 5]

This novella is such a fun read, and unlike anything I've read before. The writing is excellent, and the story is enthralling and delightfully weird. Highly recommend.

[Jason Peters · Rating 5 out of 5]

A fun, light-hearted, entertaining read. Macaulay leans into his trademark irreverence and delivers a breezy yet action-forward adventure romp that is imminently readable. Recommended for fans of Terry Pratchet, Neil Gaiman, and Douglas Adams.