The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Stop People-Pleasing: Finally, Put Yourself First, Set Boundaries with Confidence, and Release the Negativity in Saying NO!

by C. Jeffrey

Being a highly sensitive person means you’re probably highly misunderstood. You might have been accused of being too high-maintenance or too thin-skinned. You probably find it much harder to do simple things other people take for granted, like working in an open office or watching a violent movie. And you may also feel like you’re too empathetic for your own good. Your intuition and empathy as a highly sensitive person make you more compassionate, understanding, and insightful. However, these same qualities also make you particularly vulnerable to abuse. Because you feel others’ emotions intensely – and deeply care about their feelings – you tend to feel responsible for their happiness and well-being. You always put others first and say “yes” to everything, regardless of how you feel or what you need. As a result, you end up in unhealthy relationship dynamics that leave you exhausted, resentful, and stressed. If you struggle to say “no” to others, usually at the expense of your own needs, know that there’s a way out. This guide was specially written for highly sensitive people like you, whose empathetic nature can sometimes be used against them. You’ll see that it’s possible to utilize the power of your heightened sensitivity while overcoming your people-pleasing and self-defeating tendencies at the same time. In The Highly Sensitive Person's Guide to Finally Stop People-Pleasing , you will









And much more. Your sensitivity isn’t something you have to resist or fight against. On the contrary, it’s a useful quality that makes you a trusted confidante and a valued colleague. You don’t have to change who you are, and you don’t have to stop supporting and accommodating others in order to put yourself first. What’s important is that you don’t lose yourself in the process. By making yourself a priority, you become a better version of yourself and a more effective family member, friend, and co-worker. When you stop trying to please everyone else, your relationships will be all the better for it.

Genres: Self Help, Psychology, Nonfiction

196 pages, Paperback

Published September 14, 2022

Reviews

[Richard Tubb · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are somebody who is often told that you are very kind, generous, empathetic, but perhaps also chided for being "too sensitive", then this book is for you.

I was unfamiliar with the term "Highly Sensitive Person" (HSP) before reading this book, and early on in the book, the author gives a simple short test consisting of a number of questions which enable you to establish if you may be a HSP.

The book gives examples of how HSP people can experience life, the triggers to watch out for, and how to build boundaries around HSP tendencies such as people pleasing.

Throughout the book, the author shares case studies which genuinely moved me as I read stories from HSPs who have learned to not only deal with their sensitivity, but embrace it as a superpower.

This book taught me that being sensitive isn't a bad thing, but is much needed in a world that is sorely needing more empathy and sensitivity.

[Olivia B · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! For 2024 I promised myself I would work on people pleasing + only agreeing to things if it was a HELL YEAH. This book gave me examples of setting boundaries or how HSP people can stop over planning xxx

[Desert S · Rating 1 out of 5]

Written by an unqualified and uncredentialled person. I found the book poorly written, repetitive, basic, and overly simplifying the very complex psychological construct of people pleasing. No real information on the etiology or psychological underpinnings of people pleasing. The tips and recommendations sound as though they were written for someone with the emotional intelligence of a young child. I do not think this author, who does not list any professional and/or educational training, should be handing out psychological advice; leave that to the real professionals.

[Lisa · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's a good introduction about what is Highly sensitivity. You learn about the perks and the challenges that come with it, but it's very superficial and so so so repetitive. Nonetheless, I think it's a good book to read as a first introduction to the subject. It can give basic tools to understand and deal with it. There are big generalizations, but I think it can help people with low self-esteem.

[Meagan Raven · Rating 5 out of 5]

Found it very informational and helpful in how to deal with my emotions and get through stressful situations. Feeling more understood...

[Ashley · Rating 5 out of 5]

great read!

I honestly really loved this book and it was very eye opening! I always felt like something was wrong with me because I’ve always been an extremely sensitive person. I hadn’t realized that this was something actually pretty common with people! This book made me realize things about myself that I didn’t know, and helped me recognize things in myself that I hadn’t before. If you’re a highly sensitive person, I highly recommend this book. It left me feeling so much lighter and opened my eyes to how wonderful being a highly sensitive person actually is ☺️

[Tom Garner · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent

A wonderful and inspiring read for HSPs. Thank you for the insight and guidance. Easy to read and a great reference for the future me.

[Julie Barnett · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very Helpful

This book was exactly me and so good to realize my HSP hyper empathy is a gift and advice on survival was a look valuable. I highly recommend

[Sam · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting

Whilst this didn’t solely apply to me in terms of being HSP, it did help me realise I’m more of an introvert, and elements of the books were really useful to me and applied such as needing and helping to apply boundaries, and tips to be able to say no. Also, “no” being a complete sentence was a helpful reminder and help reinforce boundaries in my relationships.
I felt a lot didn’t apply and I couldn’t relate as much as I thought I would, some chapters in the books were useful and it was good food for thought.

[Jenny C · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book!

If you find yourself quite unhappy and worn out, bump on the term "highly sensitive" and then feel resonance - this is one of the books you *must* read!

Contrary to other books which only describe what a highly sensitive person is, this book helps you form an action plan - I found the validation (yes, it's natural for me to be tired easier as I process and pay attention more than the average person, and also care about others more), stress management (noticing the signs, forming a game plan depending with varying requirements/effectivity), and dealing with others.

[L.J (Lisa Jane) · Rating 5 out of 5]

More than I expected.

I'm not sure what I expected from this book but I thoroughly enjoyed it. So many good points, suggestions and support make this an excellent read for an HSP, a suspected HSP or anyone that wants to be educated and enlightened. This is also a terrific read for anyone loving or living with an HSP, to help you understand our world.
" Never be afraid to let your tears shine a light in this world." ~
Don't shrink to fit in someone else's vision. Shine yourself so bright everyone sees yours.

[Miguel Jr. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Detailed.

This book is geared towards highly sensitive persons or HSPs. However, people who are not HSPs can still benefit from this work. It is jam packed, well-edited, and formatted good.

However, I found the information a little dry, which did affect my reading engagement. Nonetheless, this text is good if you find yourself to be a people-pleaser, and need help and guidance in telling people "no".

[Clevent · Rating 1 out of 5]

Written mostly by AI. Generic information. It says "do this, do that" all over the book. There are not many examples and the ones that are in are high-level. Very repetitive. It mentions boundaries at 20+ sections. A lot of subtopics are written in numbered lists which is also a sign of AI. Every time it said here are 12 ways to do X, I rolled my eyes. If you really want to read it, buy it on Audible and listen to it at 2x or 2.2x speed.

[Ellie Hull · Rating 4 out of 5]

Continuing my syntopical reading on HSPs, I thought more on boundaries would be useful. This is a more practical book building on the knowledge in The Highly Sensitive Person by Aron but it also felt a little repetitive to me. It did feel affirming that my quirks aren’t necessarily a bad thing, and just part of me, but it is difficult to get other people to realise that too.

[Audra · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can’t remember the last time I highlighted so many passages in a book. So much of this just hit home to me. I found it simple and easy to read. The only reason I didnt give it 5 stars was because I found some of it to be repetitive, but it only served to emphasize the point. A good start for an HSP beginning their journey into self awareness.

[Adrian Corduneanu · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book I've read so far on sensitive people's challenges

It was very easy to read, and I immediately connected with the author's words. Like she was speaking on my behalf. A good book if you want to dive deep into your sensitive personality

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is an enjoyable read. It offers helpful exercises and explanations that clarify how people-pleasing tendencies can affect our lives. It is recommended for anyone looking to improve their relationships and establish a healthy dynamic, whether they identify as an HSP or not.