Helen House

by Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Right before meeting her girlfriend Amber's parents for the first time, the unnamed narrator of Helen House learns that she and her partner share a similar both of their sisters are dead. As the narrator wonders what else Amber has been hiding, she struggles with her own secret--using sex as a coping mechanism--as well as confusion and guilt over whether she really cares about Amber, or if she's only using her for sex. When they arrive at the parents' rural upstate home, a quaint but awkward first meeting unravels into a nightmare in which the narrator finds herself stranded in a family's decades-long mourning ritual. At turns terrifying and erotic, Helen House is a queer ghost story about trauma and grief.

Genres: Horror, Queer, LGBT, Lesbian, Short Stories, Fiction, Romance

70 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2022

About the author

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Miami. She is the assistant managing editor at TriQuarterly and a writer for Autostraddle. She made her fiction debut in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, and her short stories also appear/are forthcoming in Catapult, The Offing, Joyland, and others. Some of her pop culture writing can be found in The Cut, The A.V. Club, Vulture, Refinery29, and Vice, and she previously worked as a restaurant reporter for Eater NY. She attended the 2020 Tin House Summer Workshop for short fiction and the 2021 Kenyon Review Writers Workshop for fiction. She is a 2021 fellow for Lambda Literary's Writers Retreat for Emerging LGBTQ Voices.

Reviews

[Liv · Rating 5 out of 5]

DELECTABLE. truly so many things i have always wanted: queer lesbian horror, creepy, spooky, AUTUMN!!!, gutting asides, and deliciously light angst. i wanna put this book in my mouth and eat it.

i'll follow KKU's writing anywhere

[PC · Rating 4 out of 5]

I loved this little book!!! (It is really very little, at 66 pages the shortest book I've read all year.) The ending didn't quite click for me and I think I'll have to reread it in order to try and gain a better understanding of it, but everything leading up to it was phenomenal. Some of my favourite ever writing on grief and quite possibly my favourite lesbian protagonist I've ever read. As a fucked up grieving dysfunctional dyke, I just can't help but love other fucked up grieving dysfunctional dykes. Was sucked in by the raging lesbianism, stayed for the spooky creepy messed up in-laws. Can't wait for Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya's next book, whatever it's gonna be, and in the meantime I can't recommend her writing on Autostraddle enough. One of the best lesbian voices we have the pleasure of being able to read right now.

[Naya Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank u betsy for lending me the best 60 page lesbian ghost story ever . Ya llegamos al otoño perras. i read this out loud in a redwood grove to my girlfriends like it was story time in the library at elementary school. Very fucking funny

[Helene Kathinka · Rating 4 out of 5]

The ending didn't quite click for me but I loved pretty much everything else!

[⋆.˚ livia .☘︎ ݁˖ · Rating 2 out of 5]

honestly this would be so much better if it was restructured a little bit and had better pacing— the writing is so good and the narrator is a really distinct character, i just wish we got more of her actually consciously choosing to put her gf and her grief before herself

[Keatyn · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed Helen House on the whole. The narrator was distinct and I liked her even though she was somewhat “unlikable”. The plot was intriguing and I enjoyed the small bits of horror and the smut thrown in. All of that fit nicely which I didn’t expect.

I’m giving it 3 stars for a few reasons. The first is that the ending was too abrupt. I didn’t really know any of the other characters well enough to care about them and I needed the end to be longer to be scared about what was happening. The ideas were all there, the writing was good, but the pacing needed work. It’s not often I want more of a book, but I was sad that this one ended after so few plot points. Also, I got so annoyed that the narrator kept talking directly to the reader. It might just be a personal pet peeve of mine but there didn’t really seem to be a reason for it and it threw me off.

With that being said, I thought the book was good and absolutely worth a read.

[Samantha Allen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautiful, just beautiful.

[Naima · Rating 4 out of 5]

it’s good! i do wish it lingered just a second longer in the horror of the ending, though. theres this heavy atmosphere of The House the whole time with the implication of supernatural elements at work, but there’s no true pay off

[Suzy · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 - a creepy and mysterious novella about dead sisters and aching wounds.
satisfied my craving for more gothic lesbian stories after Our Wives Under the Sea

[Emily Hicks · Rating 5 out of 5]

My only criticism of this book is that I wish it were longer. Helen House immediately pulled me in an didn’t let me go. Kayla managed to achieve an unsettling air for the entire book that I am often missing in horror novels written by far more seasoned authors. I think this book is a stellar debut and I eagerly await more from Kayla.

[Kaitlyn · Rating 4 out of 5]

Incredibly specific college experiences: got to have a Q&A Zoom class with Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya, loved her, my professor had her book, I borrowed it, it had me commentating to myself on how weird and fucked up it is in my dorm room...it was great.

This was such a fast and engaging read. Definitely a welcome change after forcing myself to read a book I did not enjoy for the past few weeks. It's all toxic lesbians and terrible, messy grief and an increasingly potent sense of unease that spells a tragic end long before we get there.

I would have easily read more of this; I think the characterization and sense of horror would have benefitted from a longer form. It doesn't even need to be much longer - this was effective and to the point - but it did lack a bit. I figured out what was going to happen quickly, but the actual ending felt quite abrupt and unexplained. I love a good open ending, but I did want more elaboration in this case.

Overall, I'm biased because it's really cool to read something by an author I got to talk to. I hope she writes more longform fiction!

[M · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a lesbian who was obsessed with the episode of Who's Afraid of the Dark episode with the doll's house, the summary for this immediately drew my attention. This was really good but I think I needed five more pages of story to really nail the landing. I loved the sexy/scary, I loved the weird incesty vibes, I was properly nervous in the build up. But I don't think that the ending worked for me. My dread and horror wasn't fully sustained. It felt like I had been edged. I think this is mostly because there was no reason for the thing to happen? I think in horror that I like, there's an understanding of why the monster or villain does what they do. Some light shown on their flawed logic. I didn't really get that here.

[michelle]

a gay ghost story that you can read in one sitting - spooky, erotic, engulfing. could be longer to develop some of the themes it's exploring (i wanted more of a throughline with the narrator's "sex as coping mechanism" side tangents?) but overall, a short n sweet read that i enjoyed during a slow period at the bookstore ~

[Nicole Viloria · Rating 4 out of 5]

FUCK! That was freaking scary wtfffff like I actually didn’t expect it. It was so short, yet omgggg it said so much and wow the writing, so lyrical! I loved the juxtaposition, all the sweet versus macabre. The queer, the creepy atmosphere… all the little hints and I didn’t get ANY!!! This was honestly great! I didn’t even know the book was sooo small and it just fits! This book is a whole metaphor! Loved this project💕! Want to read more from the author!

[Hannah · Rating 4 out of 5]

I feel like I’ve been looking for this story for so long. Top tier lesbian fiction, top tier short horror. Intelligent about interiority, which my favorite horror is. I even feel good about the ending, which takes from short story conventions that I don’t always like. I feel that it works here. I’ll be looking out for this author in the future.

[keks · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐️
LESBIAN GHOST STORY!!! i honestly enjoyed this a lot! i loved the takes on grief and sexuality just wish the horror aspect was longer. a really fun, spooky, short read

[Vidya Palepu · Rating 4 out of 5]

i really enjoyed this but the ending felt super abrupt, i wanted moreeeee

[Emily del Carmen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a good, creepy, scary house story. I loved how the plot unfolded—I was on the edge of my seat the entire time.

[Arrianna · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was very well written, but it felt like the first chapter to a longer book rather than something that could stand on its own.

[Wren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tantalizing and spooky! I just wish it were longer!

[Taylor Truax · Rating 3 out of 5]

A perfect book for autumn. The description of the fall around them so good. I wish it was fall time when I read it. Overall the story is kinda creepy. The short story itself didn’t really feel resolved. I’m basically left with imagination of what came next although I have a pretty good idea. It did say it was supposed to be spicy but it kinda has short hints of spice and that’s about it. Not a bad quick little read though

[kelisliveshere˚₊⋆ ʚɞ ⋆₊˚ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Eerie and creepy asf!! Incredibly disappointed that it ended so soon.

[dawnblushes · Rating 3 out of 5]

probably a 3.8/5?

i liked a lot of things about this book, but mainly the writing. after quite possibly the worst book slump of my life, KKU's writing was quick to grab my attention and keep it. this story felt hot, sticky and full of tension. the feeling of waiting for the ball to drop was addictive, and i wanted to get inside our protagonist's head and unravel her (very questionable) thoughts.

unfortunately, where it fell short for me is that it didn't deliver the punch it was preparing me for. the ending felt abrupt, and things were brought up and left frustratingly unexplored (the protag's coping mechanism + the supernatural elements).

could have benefited from a couple more pages, but overall i enjoyed this! just not sure if it's that memorable.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this because Upadhyaya is Kristen Arnett's fiance so I started following her on Instagram and then found this book (which I feel vaguely embarrassed about), but this was the perfect, queer ghost story about grief that you can read in an afternoon. Also the drawings that come with the book are dope. Happy spooky season 👻

"Here's what I know I knew then: I knew we were both unwhole. I knew we were the living ones but that we were also the ghosts. I knew death was a sieve, full of holes that can't all be plugged at once. I knew no one else felt my exact pain. Because their someone wasn't my someone. Luci wasn't Helen and Helen wasn't Luci and I wasn't Amber and she wasn't me. But every time I put something into words, it sounded like something that has been said before" (62)

[Lauryn · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars!

Have been a fan of KKU for quite a while now bc of Autostraddle, so jumped at the chance to get a limited edition hardcover of this gay ghost story. Felt very much like Haunting of Hill House meets Happiest Season (that’s the Kristen Stewart Christmas movie, right??) but also its own thing. Saved this for a spooky read on Halloween night and gobbled it up in one sitting while having a solo tea party with myself—how fitting! Can’t wait to read longer work from KKU!!

[Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

Stunning, haunting, and painfully relatable, this little novella is everything I want in a short(ish) horror story. Absolutely loved it!

[Casey Liston · Rating 4 out of 5]

A strong debut from the author, this story is creepy, sexy, and held a mirror up to my own grief in a way I didn’t expect. I look forward to reading more by Kayla!

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is scary scary scary and very good! A must read!

[Kayla Kumari · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wrote this book, and I think it’s pretty good.

[Ginny Monk · Rating 5 out of 5]

Short, spooky, really intriguing read! Highly recommend!