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Not Yours #1
Not Yours to Keep
When emotions tangle, aftercare fails, and consent blurs.
I know I’m not walking into a regular piano lesson when Markus sends me off with his best friend, Grigory Volkov. But I didn’t expect the world-renowned conductor to start disciplining me with his baton.
An hour later, I leave the lesson with welts on my arm and my head in a thick fog.
One lesson becomes two; two become three...
Lines become blurry and so do my emotions as Markus again and again lends me to Grigory. Soon, I find myself struggling to balance between the man I love, who taught me to submit, and the severe conductor who preys upon my every submissive instinct.
This is not a traditional BDSM romance. It delves into deep emotions and explores what happens when you play with extreme Dom/sub dynamics and things go wrong. It is not an easy read and not for everyone.
It contains dub-con scenes. Please don't read if you're uncomfortable with stark emotions, blurry lines, and gray morals.
I know I’m not walking into a regular piano lesson when Markus sends me off with his best friend, Grigory Volkov. But I didn’t expect the world-renowned conductor to start disciplining me with his baton.
An hour later, I leave the lesson with welts on my arm and my head in a thick fog.
One lesson becomes two; two become three...
Lines become blurry and so do my emotions as Markus again and again lends me to Grigory. Soon, I find myself struggling to balance between the man I love, who taught me to submit, and the severe conductor who preys upon my every submissive instinct.
This is not a traditional BDSM romance. It delves into deep emotions and explores what happens when you play with extreme Dom/sub dynamics and things go wrong. It is not an easy read and not for everyone.
It contains dub-con scenes. Please don't read if you're uncomfortable with stark emotions, blurry lines, and gray morals.
355 pages, Paperback
Published October 13, 2022
235 people are currently reading
860 people want to read
About the author
Ella Jacobs
11 books408 followersElla Jacobs writes dark and kinky romance. Her books all center around Dom/sub dynamics, ranging from BDSM relationships with light dub con to pitch-black captor/captive stories with Stockholm syndrome and heavy non con.
What all her stories have in common is the emotional depth that makes them feel very raw and real. They will pull at all your heartstrings, maybe gut you and shock you, and take you through the emotional wringer.
Ella lives in Northern Europe, where she has been part of the BDSM community for many years. She lives her own age-gap romance with a stern, loving Dominant, who is always ready for some character analysis and rarely gets jealous when she falls in love with her fictional men.
Besides writing, Ella loves to play music and travel.
What all her stories have in common is the emotional depth that makes them feel very raw and real. They will pull at all your heartstrings, maybe gut you and shock you, and take you through the emotional wringer.
Ella lives in Northern Europe, where she has been part of the BDSM community for many years. She lives her own age-gap romance with a stern, loving Dominant, who is always ready for some character analysis and rarely gets jealous when she falls in love with her fictional men.
Besides writing, Ella loves to play music and travel.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
October 15, 2022
When i heard Ella Jacobs was looking for someone to read her story,in all of it’s unfinished glory,i read the blurb,and was intrigued.
After receiving and reading a bèta copy,she then finished it to what it is today.
A rollercoaster of emotions,that can be hard to read at times.
But one with a lot of love….and one that left a lasting impression on me.
Making me want to hear more.
Clara is a music student that has been in a Dom/sub relationship with the famous tenor Markus for a year now.
With him traveling a lot for his work,it’s difficult at times,but he flies her over to wherever he is,whenever he can.
Now,with her final exams done,they’re spending the summer in Berlin,where he’s rehearsing his role in Tosca.
It’s here that he decides to surprise his little sub with pianolessons from an institute in his world…his very good friend,the world renowned conductor Grigory.
And this surprise turns out to be both wonderful and painful at the same time…because Grigory has a very effective way of correcting her.
With his baton,on her arm.
Not only that,Grigory draws out an overwhelming amount of conflicting feelings in Clara.
Knowing Markus trusts him,and knowing he not only instigated,but approves of them getting close,doesn’t make it any easier.
The hot and cold this stern man shows her time and time again,makes it even worse.
There are so many moments she could’ve used her safeword,but didn’t,it makes your head spin. The fact that Markus is her Dom gives her an anchor,knowing he loves her gives her something to lean on.
But the growing feelings she has for a man that doesn’t seem to care about her,leave her adrift,and she doesn’t know what to do about them.
Until he cuts her off entirely,saying he can’t do “this” because she draws him in too much….because she submits tóó sweetly to him.
Markus already had to step in a few times,talking sense into the man,but this?
Is this something even he can’t fix?
Which, very neatly, leaves you with a hell of a cliffhanger….
Throughout the story,i wanted to shout at Clara “use your safeword! Speak up!”
Because the way Grigory kept hurting her,not only with his discipline,but with the way he kept discarding her,was way past acceptable.
And she should’ve told Markus a lot more about what happened….leaving him in the dark about the way Grigory treated her,was not a wise decision.
It didn’t help that he gave her space to deal with it,and he should’ve been firmer.
How he came to the conclusion his sub could take that kind of treatment,i don’t know.
But exposing her to it in the hope to shake his friend out of whatever was wrong with him,was not something he should’ve done without consulting her first.
Simply stating “i’m the Dom,i know what’s best” was not the way to go,and it left Clara in a very vulnerable position with no way out…
Ok,he talked to his friend when things got too bad,but is that enough??
As first stories go,this was one that still makes me want more.
If only to see if Grigory finally knows how to treat a sub properly.
If only to see how Clara is picking herself up after all he’s done so far.
If only to see if Markus will be there when she needs him the most….
And if only to see how this dynamic can settle into something that works….for all of them,but most of all for Clara!
After receiving and reading a bèta copy,she then finished it to what it is today.
A rollercoaster of emotions,that can be hard to read at times.
But one with a lot of love….and one that left a lasting impression on me.
Making me want to hear more.
Clara is a music student that has been in a Dom/sub relationship with the famous tenor Markus for a year now.
With him traveling a lot for his work,it’s difficult at times,but he flies her over to wherever he is,whenever he can.
Now,with her final exams done,they’re spending the summer in Berlin,where he’s rehearsing his role in Tosca.
It’s here that he decides to surprise his little sub with pianolessons from an institute in his world…his very good friend,the world renowned conductor Grigory.
And this surprise turns out to be both wonderful and painful at the same time…because Grigory has a very effective way of correcting her.
With his baton,on her arm.
Not only that,Grigory draws out an overwhelming amount of conflicting feelings in Clara.
Knowing Markus trusts him,and knowing he not only instigated,but approves of them getting close,doesn’t make it any easier.
The hot and cold this stern man shows her time and time again,makes it even worse.
There are so many moments she could’ve used her safeword,but didn’t,it makes your head spin. The fact that Markus is her Dom gives her an anchor,knowing he loves her gives her something to lean on.
But the growing feelings she has for a man that doesn’t seem to care about her,leave her adrift,and she doesn’t know what to do about them.
Until he cuts her off entirely,saying he can’t do “this” because she draws him in too much….because she submits tóó sweetly to him.
Markus already had to step in a few times,talking sense into the man,but this?
Is this something even he can’t fix?
Which, very neatly, leaves you with a hell of a cliffhanger….
Throughout the story,i wanted to shout at Clara “use your safeword! Speak up!”
Because the way Grigory kept hurting her,not only with his discipline,but with the way he kept discarding her,was way past acceptable.
And she should’ve told Markus a lot more about what happened….leaving him in the dark about the way Grigory treated her,was not a wise decision.
It didn’t help that he gave her space to deal with it,and he should’ve been firmer.
How he came to the conclusion his sub could take that kind of treatment,i don’t know.
But exposing her to it in the hope to shake his friend out of whatever was wrong with him,was not something he should’ve done without consulting her first.
Simply stating “i’m the Dom,i know what’s best” was not the way to go,and it left Clara in a very vulnerable position with no way out…
Ok,he talked to his friend when things got too bad,but is that enough??
As first stories go,this was one that still makes me want more.
If only to see if Grigory finally knows how to treat a sub properly.
If only to see how Clara is picking herself up after all he’s done so far.
If only to see if Markus will be there when she needs him the most….
And if only to see how this dynamic can settle into something that works….for all of them,but most of all for Clara!
October 17, 2022
This book was not like anything I have read before. Deep into the psyche of the sub. I enjoyed it for that fact alone. I like reading about this lifestyle and learning about how it works/ feels from this perspective. She did a good job of relaying the power dynamic. Ella is a brave author to put all that emotion into the book and I applaud her for it. I loved Grigory. Looking forward to book 2! Thank you for letting me read this ARC, it was really great !
October 18, 2022
I would recommend this book, for people who want to better understand the Dom/Sub relationship. I also love the Alpha-Hole Grigory. His struggle with coming to terms, he really likes the sub side of Claire. Marcus is an amazing Dom, for wanting to make sure that all of her needs are met. I really enjoyed the 2 Dom to 1 sub. I can’t wait to read the next in the series to see how this all plays out.
Stop Spoilers ahead!
Not Yours to Keep is the first book in the Not yours Trilogy.
Claire is a young women spending her summer break with her boyfriend Marcus in Berlin. While he prepares for his own performance, as the main vocals. She has enjoyed her summer in Berlin. Marcus decides Claire shall improve her own skills on the piano, and he will set up lessons. Claire meets the broody and quiet Grigory. She realizes in her first lesson, with Grigory. He is a Dom, and he is very aware that she is a sub. She will soon find out the lessons don’t end with the piano. Marcus had come to realize that Claire was in need of someone with a more sadistic personality, this is why he chose Grigory. Claire struggles with this new dynamic of having two Doms, and realizing that she is developing feelings for both. The Sub in Claire won’t allow her to stray from her own nature, and feelings of responsibility. Claire needs to make sure that Marcus will be okay, when the dynamic needs to be broken. Claire has a hard time when Grigory gets close, only to push away while battling past demons. Claire looses part of herself, after Grigory’s battles quickly turn into neglect.
Stop Spoilers ahead!
Not Yours to Keep is the first book in the Not yours Trilogy.
Claire is a young women spending her summer break with her boyfriend Marcus in Berlin. While he prepares for his own performance, as the main vocals. She has enjoyed her summer in Berlin. Marcus decides Claire shall improve her own skills on the piano, and he will set up lessons. Claire meets the broody and quiet Grigory. She realizes in her first lesson, with Grigory. He is a Dom, and he is very aware that she is a sub. She will soon find out the lessons don’t end with the piano. Marcus had come to realize that Claire was in need of someone with a more sadistic personality, this is why he chose Grigory. Claire struggles with this new dynamic of having two Doms, and realizing that she is developing feelings for both. The Sub in Claire won’t allow her to stray from her own nature, and feelings of responsibility. Claire needs to make sure that Marcus will be okay, when the dynamic needs to be broken. Claire has a hard time when Grigory gets close, only to push away while battling past demons. Claire looses part of herself, after Grigory’s battles quickly turn into neglect.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 10, 2022
This was a very good book! The main characters where well written and the story was very good.
2 doms and one sub… Markus was the main dom who shared his sub with Grigory. At first I was very angry with Markus because there was no consent between the sub and dom to share.
After reading this book I still don’t care much for Markus.
Grigory is very hard to care about… he is very dominating and closed off. I enjoyed reading the relationship between him and the sub…
There were times were I hated him so much and then he made up for his bad behavior.
The spice was good, and I hope to see the relationships develop more!
2 doms and one sub… Markus was the main dom who shared his sub with Grigory. At first I was very angry with Markus because there was no consent between the sub and dom to share.
After reading this book I still don’t care much for Markus.
Grigory is very hard to care about… he is very dominating and closed off. I enjoyed reading the relationship between him and the sub…
There were times were I hated him so much and then he made up for his bad behavior.
The spice was good, and I hope to see the relationships develop more!
October 12, 2022
BDSM💋Musical💋Dub-Con💋MMF💋Age-Gap💋oh man oh man.. to experience this book for the first time again. Never in my life did I think I’d be turned on by a music conductor.. but, here I am 🫠
The student to teacher relationship was so hot. I struggled in the beginning because of how rough Gregory was. But, I have a love for the mean ones who have a soft spot for for the girl. It really does push your buttons in ways you’ll loathe. 😏
I cant wait for book 2!!!
The student to teacher relationship was so hot. I struggled in the beginning because of how rough Gregory was. But, I have a love for the mean ones who have a soft spot for for the girl. It really does push your buttons in ways you’ll loathe. 😏
I cant wait for book 2!!!
October 12, 2022
Without giving any spoilers I just want to say this book is absolutely amazing! It’s has everything it’s MFM, AgeGap, Dom/Sub relationship. It’s very well written. I literally couldn’t put it down. There is Dub/Con so it’s definitely not for everyone but I highly recommend this book! As always check triggers and Happy reading. 🖤
January 4, 2023
Pretentious & not a healthy rep of BDSM
The author says that while this is a BDSM book it isn’t a complete representation of BDSM, which is 100% true since the most VITAL parts of any dynamic is communication, honesty and trust, all of which seem to be missing in this story. Between the doms lack of aftercare in every lesson scene and the lack of communication about introducing a third and discussion of boundaries, the abuse of power was uncomfortable.
Even with the warning in the foreword, I shudder to think of people new to the scene reading stories like this (and the reviews) and thinking it’s a healthy dynamic and that the FMC is just whiny and ‘cries all the time’.
And I’m annoyed to have to stick up for the FMC because she gives off pick me energy.
The author says that while this is a BDSM book it isn’t a complete representation of BDSM, which is 100% true since the most VITAL parts of any dynamic is communication, honesty and trust, all of which seem to be missing in this story. Between the doms lack of aftercare in every lesson scene and the lack of communication about introducing a third and discussion of boundaries, the abuse of power was uncomfortable.
Even with the warning in the foreword, I shudder to think of people new to the scene reading stories like this (and the reviews) and thinking it’s a healthy dynamic and that the FMC is just whiny and ‘cries all the time’.
And I’m annoyed to have to stick up for the FMC because she gives off pick me energy.
October 17, 2022
This is the debut release for @ellajacobs.author and is the 1st book in the Not Yours Trilogy.
I will start by saying that whatever preconceived notions you have when you read a BDSM or Dom/Sub trope will likely go out the window when you read this one. Let me be clear, you WANT to read this one. As a warning, this is not your typical spicy romance and to be perfectly honest, the spice is not the main focus. I quickly realized I had either not read that much BDSM or hadn't read anything w/this in depth of a behind the scenes feel to it.
This is a single POV from Clara, the FMC / submissive. Prior to meeting Markus, her boyfriend of 1 year, Clara had never been in a Dom/Sub relationship. Markus recognized her submissive nature immediately and through their relationship she has grown into the role in/out of the bedroom. She truly submits to him and trusts in him to protect & care for her. Markus decides to share his Dom role w/his friend and conductor, Grigory who is twice her age. He doesn't discuss this w/Clara, but sets up sessions for her to attend piano lessons w/Grigory, which quickly become intense & has her questioning boundaries and all she thought she knew. Markus lets her know that nothing will take place that he has not approved of and as a true submissive, she complies.
Throughout the lessons w/Clara & Grigory, there were so many times where I questioned him, her and Markus for that matter. I felt anger on her behalf, almost as if she had been betrayed, but yet she didn't speak up. I realized that a lot of that was her truly submitting. I felt frustration w/her & how submissive she was but realized how strong she was for it as well. I was angry w/Markus for not discussing his decision, but then loved how he took care of her and made the decisions he did on behalf of all of them, which is not always clear to see. Grigory is hard to like at first, but you get there in the end. You will want to know him more and see how the relationship unfolds.
This is a raw look into the highs & lows of a Dom/Sub relationship.
✔️ Age gap
✔️ Non-Traditional BDSM Story
✔️ MFM / Why Choose
✔️ Dom / Sub
✔️ Student & Professor
Overall, I was fascinated and intrigued by this story and want to know more. I am invested in the characters and impressed with the writing and depth of the characters. Looking forward to more.
#agegapromance #studentteacherromance #whychooseromance #bookstagram
Ella JacobsNot Yours to Keep
*I received this as an ARC for an honest review
I will start by saying that whatever preconceived notions you have when you read a BDSM or Dom/Sub trope will likely go out the window when you read this one. Let me be clear, you WANT to read this one. As a warning, this is not your typical spicy romance and to be perfectly honest, the spice is not the main focus. I quickly realized I had either not read that much BDSM or hadn't read anything w/this in depth of a behind the scenes feel to it.
This is a single POV from Clara, the FMC / submissive. Prior to meeting Markus, her boyfriend of 1 year, Clara had never been in a Dom/Sub relationship. Markus recognized her submissive nature immediately and through their relationship she has grown into the role in/out of the bedroom. She truly submits to him and trusts in him to protect & care for her. Markus decides to share his Dom role w/his friend and conductor, Grigory who is twice her age. He doesn't discuss this w/Clara, but sets up sessions for her to attend piano lessons w/Grigory, which quickly become intense & has her questioning boundaries and all she thought she knew. Markus lets her know that nothing will take place that he has not approved of and as a true submissive, she complies.
Throughout the lessons w/Clara & Grigory, there were so many times where I questioned him, her and Markus for that matter. I felt anger on her behalf, almost as if she had been betrayed, but yet she didn't speak up. I realized that a lot of that was her truly submitting. I felt frustration w/her & how submissive she was but realized how strong she was for it as well. I was angry w/Markus for not discussing his decision, but then loved how he took care of her and made the decisions he did on behalf of all of them, which is not always clear to see. Grigory is hard to like at first, but you get there in the end. You will want to know him more and see how the relationship unfolds.
This is a raw look into the highs & lows of a Dom/Sub relationship.
✔️ Age gap
✔️ Non-Traditional BDSM Story
✔️ MFM / Why Choose
✔️ Dom / Sub
✔️ Student & Professor
Overall, I was fascinated and intrigued by this story and want to know more. I am invested in the characters and impressed with the writing and depth of the characters. Looking forward to more.
#agegapromance #studentteacherromance #whychooseromance #bookstagram
Ella JacobsNot Yours to Keep
*I received this as an ARC for an honest review
October 17, 2022
After finishing this book, I have struggled to find the words to write a review. Not Yours to Keep is Ella’s debut novel that focuses on BDSM. What’s different about this novel from all the others out there is Ella focuses on the emotional toll that being in a Dominate/Submissive relationship can take on those involved. There are spicy scenes that you get with every other Dom/sub novel but she focuses on not just the in the moment sexy scenes but the aftercare as well as heavy on the discipline sides of things. I have never read another book that focuses so much on the aftercare part of things and that’s honestly one of the most important parts, it gets you the full picture on how a Dom/sub relationship works and in this case the things that can happen when aftercare doesn’t take priority and the consequences that come with it.
The book is about the journey of Clara who’s in a Dom/sub relationship with her boyfriend Markus. While exploring their relationship Markus makes the decision to include his best friend Grigory who is also another Dom and share Clara. You experience many things with these 3, many emotional moments. You’re going to have a love hate relationship with Grigory but stick through it, it’s worth it, he’s worth it and you’re going to love the book as I did!
Ella shares about herself that she’s involved in the BDSM scene and I think that really shows in her writing. The emotions are very heavy in this book, you enter that submissive headspace with Clara, each tear felt moment, each strike with the baton, the anger you felt radiating off Markus when Grigory would mess up, you feel it all. I was honestly very impressed and was sucked in from the start. I definitely connected with the characters. Fantastic writing, great story. Congratulations to your first book Ella, I can’t wait for more!
🤍BDSM
🖤DUB-CON
🤍AGE GAP
🖤MFM
🤍STUDENT/TEACHER
The book is about the journey of Clara who’s in a Dom/sub relationship with her boyfriend Markus. While exploring their relationship Markus makes the decision to include his best friend Grigory who is also another Dom and share Clara. You experience many things with these 3, many emotional moments. You’re going to have a love hate relationship with Grigory but stick through it, it’s worth it, he’s worth it and you’re going to love the book as I did!
Ella shares about herself that she’s involved in the BDSM scene and I think that really shows in her writing. The emotions are very heavy in this book, you enter that submissive headspace with Clara, each tear felt moment, each strike with the baton, the anger you felt radiating off Markus when Grigory would mess up, you feel it all. I was honestly very impressed and was sucked in from the start. I definitely connected with the characters. Fantastic writing, great story. Congratulations to your first book Ella, I can’t wait for more!
🤍BDSM
🖤DUB-CON
🤍AGE GAP
🖤MFM
🤍STUDENT/TEACHER
October 18, 2022
I was very lucky to recieve an ARC of this book from the author, Ella Jacobs. Just finished this book last night and needed a little time to process before doing my review!
I’m not gonna lie, for the most part, this book was hard for me to get through. And not because the writing was bad, quite the opposite. The writing was so real and raw and made me very emotional. I’m not a person that could be in a dom/sub relationship. So it was hard reading through the really rough parts, where I wanted to jump in the book and save the FMC and slap the shit out of the men.
But with all that in mind, I’m fully aware that some people love to be in that mindset and it can be a beautiful relationship if done right. That is another thing this book very honestly and unforgivingly displays, when this type of relationship isn’t done right. The psychological and physical damage this can cause.
You need to be aware before going into this book that it’s a dark romance, with multiple trigger warnings. Please look these up before!
All in all, I will give this book a 4 star rating, the author is a very accomplished writer that can get that much emotions out of it’s reader. Thank you Ella for giving me this opportunity!
October 18, 2022
Very emotional.
This is not your typical spicy bdsm story. This is about a woman in a lifestyle Dom/sub relationship, which is different than a lot of Dom/sub play you see in books. The power dynamic is how their relationship functions.
Markus arranges piano lessons for Clara with his good friend, Grigory, who is also a Dom. Grigory is given permission to punish Clara as he sees fit without any real discussion with her before. Grigory, I should note, is quite the sadist and sucks at aftercare.
The story is the journey of Clara and Grigory's relationship. There is no hot spice when punishment is being doled out. You read this book to see what happens when things get out of control in these types of dynamics. When Markus steps in it is never pretty, but you are grateful someone is aware enough to care about everyone else's mental well-being during the journey.
This is not a book for someone looking for sex. I cannot stress that enough. This is an emotional journey that will have you gasping for air.
This is not your typical spicy bdsm story. This is about a woman in a lifestyle Dom/sub relationship, which is different than a lot of Dom/sub play you see in books. The power dynamic is how their relationship functions.
Markus arranges piano lessons for Clara with his good friend, Grigory, who is also a Dom. Grigory is given permission to punish Clara as he sees fit without any real discussion with her before. Grigory, I should note, is quite the sadist and sucks at aftercare.
The story is the journey of Clara and Grigory's relationship. There is no hot spice when punishment is being doled out. You read this book to see what happens when things get out of control in these types of dynamics. When Markus steps in it is never pretty, but you are grateful someone is aware enough to care about everyone else's mental well-being during the journey.
This is not a book for someone looking for sex. I cannot stress that enough. This is an emotional journey that will have you gasping for air.
October 17, 2022
When your such a great sub your Dom wants to share you with a second Dom.
Clara is an aspiring piano player whose boyfriend, Markus, sets her up to learn from a world renowned teacher, Grigory. Little does she know, Markus wants him to teach her and use her for more then just to play piano.
This book is about being in a Dom/Sub relationship and after care that necessary for the relationship to thrive. Or in this case, the lack there of and the consequences.
Ella focuses on the relationship and feelings behind the closed doors in Not Yours To Keep. The raw emotion and love in this book keeps you feeling and remembering this book long after the story is over.
I was a little hesitant at first with how real the Dom/Sub relationship was portrayed in this book. But the love that Markus envelopes Clara in and inevitably the relationship Carla and Grigory share kept me rooted and enjoying until the end.
Clara is an aspiring piano player whose boyfriend, Markus, sets her up to learn from a world renowned teacher, Grigory. Little does she know, Markus wants him to teach her and use her for more then just to play piano.
This book is about being in a Dom/Sub relationship and after care that necessary for the relationship to thrive. Or in this case, the lack there of and the consequences.
Ella focuses on the relationship and feelings behind the closed doors in Not Yours To Keep. The raw emotion and love in this book keeps you feeling and remembering this book long after the story is over.
I was a little hesitant at first with how real the Dom/Sub relationship was portrayed in this book. But the love that Markus envelopes Clara in and inevitably the relationship Carla and Grigory share kept me rooted and enjoying until the end.
October 17, 2022
This is an arc review but all opinions are my own.
I really expected to love this book much more than I did. It had everything I love but for some reason I just didn’t connect with it. I just think maybe the writing style and the way this mfm relationship was portrayed.
I enjoyed the bdsm / punishment aspect however there just wasn’t enough smut for me and often found it got repetitive. Which is completely fine as this book was more relationship heavy which a lot of people prefer!
I think it’s extremely hard to to mfm books when it’s about a couple then adding someone into the relationship. I often felt as though one person was always left out and was only there to pick up the pieces.
With all that being said I did find this book very interesting I just don’t think I connected very much to the characters.
⭐️⭐️⭐️✨
October 20, 2022
Don’t go into this book thinking it’s going to be a super sexy bdsm story. This book takes you through the emotional and painful side of things. Focusing more on the feelings and the relationships.
Not saying it isn’t spicy, there are definitely some spicy scenes.
This book has..
-MFM
-Age Gap
-Dom/Sub
-Dub/Con
-Punishment
It was a solid 4 star read. I liked it, I just wish I felt a little bit more connection to these characters. I had a love hate relationship with them. I’m not really into punishment without pleasure. 😅
But, that’s just me & if you’re into this type of book you will absolutely love it.
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ 4/5
🌶️🌶️🌶️ 3/5
October 16, 2022
This book is a book that explores at the dominance and submissive relationship. It is a book that features an age gap also. When Clara followed her boyfriend Markus to Germany for the summer she thought that it would just be any ordinary summer. Markus is an opera singer who is in Germany for an opera. Clara is introduced to Markus's best friend, Grigory, who is the world-renowned conductor of the opera. Markus sets up a piano lesson for Clara with Grigory. Clara is beyond floored to be able to have lessons from such a talented conductor. Little did Clara know that meeting Grigory w0uld change her life.
This is a fast read. I was pulled in from the first few pages. The spice in this book is very hot. The sexual tension leaves the reader wanting more. The reader will want to keep reading to find out what will happen next and if the characters will act on the sexual tension. The story is very well written and you get to know the characters very well. The book leaves you on a cliff hanger and I can't wait to read the next book to see what happens with these characters. I highly recommend this book.
This is a fast read. I was pulled in from the first few pages. The spice in this book is very hot. The sexual tension leaves the reader wanting more. The reader will want to keep reading to find out what will happen next and if the characters will act on the sexual tension. The story is very well written and you get to know the characters very well. The book leaves you on a cliff hanger and I can't wait to read the next book to see what happens with these characters. I highly recommend this book.
October 18, 2022
I really enjoyed reading this intense, sensual portrayal of D/s dynamics and polyamory. I loved how the teacher/student relationship slowly and naturally developed into something more sexual and how the undertones of danger went from subtle to very... not subtle! The main character's vulnerability and ambivalent reactions to being shared and dominated by two men felt very realistic and raw. It is clear the author has first hand experience with D/s. The language is sensual and makes you feel exactly what the protagonist is feeling. The story has a nice flow and I had a hard time putting it down. Strong recommendation, especially to all fans of dark, twisted romance!
October 17, 2022
Wow. The emotional roller coaster this story took me on! But definitely worth it to get to the end. It’s definitely an interesting dynamic between the characters but as the story unfolds and you come to understand them and the emotions behind each of the three characters. MFM, age gap, Dom-sub. Definitely a great combo to have in a book! Markus & Grigory are definitely worth it. This is a BDSM read but it definitely goes a little extreme which may not be for everyone so take that into consideration. Happy reading!
October 15, 2022
Received as an ARC.
4 stars
2.5 spice rating.
I was pleasantly surprised by this book.. the theme wasn't really anything I've read before (being centered around classical music) but I actually really enjoyed it.
Sometimes within the book it felt as if the MMCs dismissed the FMC feelings a bit, so it could feel alitte abusive at times. (TW)
- Age Gap
- BDSM
- MMF dynamic
4 stars
2.5 spice rating.
I was pleasantly surprised by this book.. the theme wasn't really anything I've read before (being centered around classical music) but I actually really enjoyed it.
Sometimes within the book it felt as if the MMCs dismissed the FMC feelings a bit, so it could feel alitte abusive at times. (TW)
- Age Gap
- BDSM
- MMF dynamic
October 18, 2022
It is a book about a girl who is submissive in every aspect of her life. She allows these two men to share her as their sub one is her boyfriend the other is her boyfriend best friend. It is not until almost the end that they actually share her and she gets pleasure from them. It could be a hard book to read for some so definitely check tws but someone who understands the sub lifestyle and totally letting a man rule and hit and make all their decisions then this book is for u.
October 16, 2022
This book takes you through all the dynamics of a bdsm relationship where 1 Dominant shares his submissive gf with his dominant best friend and the highs and lows through it. It shows you what poor aftercare and poor communication looks like and the side effects of that. It was a bit hard for me to read seeing what the fmc was going through while hiding her feelings. This book brought on tears and laughs. This is book 1 in an ongoing series.
October 17, 2022
I was lucky enough to read the ARC!
This book was fantastic. If you like BDSM romance then this is for you. In this book you’ll meet Clara, Markus and Grigory. Clara is in a dynamic with Markus and then he adds his best friend Grigory. My emotions with this book were everywhere but in a good way. You will get irritated but in the end it will be alright. I can’t wait for the next book!
P.S. Check trigger warnings.
This book was fantastic. If you like BDSM romance then this is for you. In this book you’ll meet Clara, Markus and Grigory. Clara is in a dynamic with Markus and then he adds his best friend Grigory. My emotions with this book were everywhere but in a good way. You will get irritated but in the end it will be alright. I can’t wait for the next book!
P.S. Check trigger warnings.
October 17, 2022
When I saw that Ella was looking for Arc readers and she shared a blurb from one of the dom/sub scenes, I jumped right on it! I don’t want to give away any spoilers but if you LOVE age gap 🤤, dom/sub, sharing, consent/non consent, MFM, and a tangle of emotions then this book is for you!
October 17, 2022
This book is definitely for 18+ and a hot and steamy read! If you like BDSM, submissive and dominant traits then you are going to enjoy this read! I finished this book so fast i was hooked, cant wait for the next one! Im so invested in these characters!!
October 17, 2022
This was my first book by this author. Definitely check trigger warnings. 18+ But this book was a dom/sub, teacher/student, 2 men 1 woman, age gap, book. Alittle different as it was more on an emotional level not just spice. But overall it was a good read.
October 17, 2022
This book was so good I am emotionally invested in this!!! And it was 🔥 I loved everything about this and I want more!!!!
October 22, 2022
3.5/5 ⭐️
2/5 🔥
This is a debut novel and overall, I think for a debut, it was well done. There was a bit of repetitiveness at times, but I liked the writing style. The storyline was intriguing and unlike anything I’ve read before. I will say though that this book is nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be filled with spice and while there was some, it wasn’t as much as I expected. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but I think it may be marketed incorrectly. In reviewing the blurb on Amazon, I do feel that is the most accurate description of what to expect in this book.
This book deals more with the emotional aspect of a BDSM relationship and blurred lines when it comes to consent. I recommend reading the author’s foreword in the beginning. There were times I felt uncomfortable, mostly because I have a hard time relating to someone like Clara. She’s 25 but seems younger due to her insecurity/immaturity. I think we need more information on these characters backgrounds to help understand how they became the way they are and why they crave this type of relationship - what made Markus and Grigory dominant and Clara so submissive.
I’d like to see the conclusion of where these characters end up. I think there’s quite a journey ahead for them.
Thank you to the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
2/5 🔥
This is a debut novel and overall, I think for a debut, it was well done. There was a bit of repetitiveness at times, but I liked the writing style. The storyline was intriguing and unlike anything I’ve read before. I will say though that this book is nothing like I expected it to be. I thought it was going to be filled with spice and while there was some, it wasn’t as much as I expected. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but I think it may be marketed incorrectly. In reviewing the blurb on Amazon, I do feel that is the most accurate description of what to expect in this book.
This book deals more with the emotional aspect of a BDSM relationship and blurred lines when it comes to consent. I recommend reading the author’s foreword in the beginning. There were times I felt uncomfortable, mostly because I have a hard time relating to someone like Clara. She’s 25 but seems younger due to her insecurity/immaturity. I think we need more information on these characters backgrounds to help understand how they became the way they are and why they crave this type of relationship - what made Markus and Grigory dominant and Clara so submissive.
I’d like to see the conclusion of where these characters end up. I think there’s quite a journey ahead for them.
Thank you to the author for the ARC in exchange for an honest review.
September 24, 2023
This book made me so uncomfortable, and I can typically read anything without feeling any discomfort. G physically abused her and they just put it down to him being Dominant toward Clara? I was extremely confused [and concerned] when he was hitting her on the back - did I read that wrong or was he literally just slapping her on the back?
Clara literally just had meltdown after meltdown and it just got really stale toward the end. It literally just read like the start of a domestic abuse relationship where she had to greet M as soon as he or she got home, she had to take care of dinner every night (literally got punished for it one night huh?) and she literally did nothing but stay at home and when she DID go out during the day, she had a damn curfew. And M literally just kept letting this shit happen with G? Nah, HE was her Dom, he should have called it quits with G way back ago. And then the CNC scene - made me uncomfortable because she was just trying to justify it when she even thought it herself that there was no consent before hand.
Ugh sorry I didn’t like this at all. Not my cup of T.
Clara literally just had meltdown after meltdown and it just got really stale toward the end. It literally just read like the start of a domestic abuse relationship where she had to greet M as soon as he or she got home, she had to take care of dinner every night (literally got punished for it one night huh?) and she literally did nothing but stay at home and when she DID go out during the day, she had a damn curfew. And M literally just kept letting this shit happen with G? Nah, HE was her Dom, he should have called it quits with G way back ago. And then the CNC scene - made me uncomfortable because she was just trying to justify it when she even thought it herself that there was no consent before hand.
Ugh sorry I didn’t like this at all. Not my cup of T.
October 25, 2022
Not yours to Keep by @ellajacobs
ARC review
A story set around the Berlin State Opera
One submissive Danish pianist
One German sexy opera singer
One older stern Russian conductor with his baton
Tropes:
BDSM lifestyle
2 doms 1 sub
Pining to obsession
Age gap romance
Alphahole
It all starts when Clara finds herself in an arranged private piano lesson with the world-renowned conductor Grigory, and she gets a little more than what she bargained for.
The novel explores exclusively Clara’s POV as she tries to handle her growing feelings to Grigory, and how her Dom Markus is handling it with the emotional turnoils that ensues.
This book was beautifully written, the prose and emotional descriptions are top notch; I finished it in two days. It was easy to read but not exactly an easy read ( more on that later).
If you are into alpha-holes, BDSM lifestyle, submissive POV, age gap romances, poetic writing; this is the book for you! It got me submerged in their world and wanting to play piano and sing opera again, it gets you absorbed in this dimension where hard work and perfection is the least you should aim for in classical music and the world of performances; all three main characters had that passion for music and thrived for excellence in each of their fields; I absolutely loved that part.
There is a scene where Clara is kneeling while Grigory is playing piano accompanying Marcus singing, and it was so powerful I could feel the purity of emotions that come from the intimacy of such a private performance.
It took me a while to review this book even ( sorry Ella!), because Clara’s submission left me with conflicted feelings; Markus was a darling, but some scenes were hard to read because she did not exactly consent to certain things but remained frozen from using her safe word, and only felt she consented later; then she had almost no aftercare, and she still kept holding Grigory on a pedestal and obsessing over him.
It’s clearly a story about things going wrong on many levels, which happens so often in real life, and we don’t really find such books because we keep holding submissives to our own pedestal, right?
For the life of me, I tried to like Grigory with his breadcrumbing and couldn’t, a proof that older doesn’t mean at all more mature, and the way Clara submitted to him got me angry; and then I realized that’s what the book is ready about, isn’t it? When the will to submit is so strong that the lines of consent become blurred. It got me to question if submission was a nature or a need; and when that need overpowers, are decisions made with clear judgment?
I am very curious to read, as will you, of what happens next. Will Grigory attempt to take her all for himself? Will she be able to judge what were her own desires versus her submissive desires? Will Markus see a threat to his established dynamic, or do they take it for granted?
Beautifully written book! Recommend for everyone in the genre.
ARC review
A story set around the Berlin State Opera
One submissive Danish pianist
One German sexy opera singer
One older stern Russian conductor with his baton
Tropes:
BDSM lifestyle
2 doms 1 sub
Pining to obsession
Age gap romance
Alphahole
It all starts when Clara finds herself in an arranged private piano lesson with the world-renowned conductor Grigory, and she gets a little more than what she bargained for.
The novel explores exclusively Clara’s POV as she tries to handle her growing feelings to Grigory, and how her Dom Markus is handling it with the emotional turnoils that ensues.
This book was beautifully written, the prose and emotional descriptions are top notch; I finished it in two days. It was easy to read but not exactly an easy read ( more on that later).
If you are into alpha-holes, BDSM lifestyle, submissive POV, age gap romances, poetic writing; this is the book for you! It got me submerged in their world and wanting to play piano and sing opera again, it gets you absorbed in this dimension where hard work and perfection is the least you should aim for in classical music and the world of performances; all three main characters had that passion for music and thrived for excellence in each of their fields; I absolutely loved that part.
There is a scene where Clara is kneeling while Grigory is playing piano accompanying Marcus singing, and it was so powerful I could feel the purity of emotions that come from the intimacy of such a private performance.
It took me a while to review this book even ( sorry Ella!), because Clara’s submission left me with conflicted feelings; Markus was a darling, but some scenes were hard to read because she did not exactly consent to certain things but remained frozen from using her safe word, and only felt she consented later; then she had almost no aftercare, and she still kept holding Grigory on a pedestal and obsessing over him.
It’s clearly a story about things going wrong on many levels, which happens so often in real life, and we don’t really find such books because we keep holding submissives to our own pedestal, right?
For the life of me, I tried to like Grigory with his breadcrumbing and couldn’t, a proof that older doesn’t mean at all more mature, and the way Clara submitted to him got me angry; and then I realized that’s what the book is ready about, isn’t it? When the will to submit is so strong that the lines of consent become blurred. It got me to question if submission was a nature or a need; and when that need overpowers, are decisions made with clear judgment?
I am very curious to read, as will you, of what happens next. Will Grigory attempt to take her all for himself? Will she be able to judge what were her own desires versus her submissive desires? Will Markus see a threat to his established dynamic, or do they take it for granted?
Beautifully written book! Recommend for everyone in the genre.
May 17, 2023
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
“He’ll move on and forget about our summer fling—or whatever this is. But I won’t. Grigory’s dominance is branded into me, and I know my need to submit to him won’t soon die down.”
I devoured every delicious word of this book. Not Yours to Keep is a very unique take on BDSM romance. There is more to it than just smut and spice, and many of the scenes are more focused on the pain and punishment aspects of BDSM rather than the pleasure. Personally, I liked the darker, destructive take on the intricacies of a BDSM relationship because it felt very realistic. Kink in real life isn’t always about hand necklaces and happy endings; there is a lot of emotional depth that goes along with submission and dominance, and Ella Jacobs captured that conflict perfectly.
As far as plot, there isn’t much action to move the story forward. This novel isn’t about grand twists and turns, but it is a beautifully poignant peek into humanity—a piercing look into the emotional and psychological highs and lows of being immersed in a power exchange relationship that is both physically and emotionally demanding.
The story is told from Clara’s point of view, and you can’t help but empathize with her. She is young, out of her element, longing for leadership, and desperate to please. Even though she is involved in BDSM, I found her to be very innocent and her natural submission and trustingness were lovely to witness. Clara is in a relationship with Markus, a level-headed, rational, compassionate Dom who seems to have her best interests at heart. Through her boyfriend, Clara is introduced to Grigory, an older man who offers to act as her piano instructor—and give her a little extra “guidance” when needed. In the real world, Grigory is exactly the sort of person who shouldn’t be trusted with a young and impressionable girl, but as far as fictional characters go, I absolutely loved him. He was stern, exacting, harsh, and unapologetically dominant. Be warned, Grigory is a true sadist; he enjoys inflicting pain without any thought for giving pleasure or even aftercare along with it.
Even though Clara’s relationship with Markus is stable, I was instantly rooting for Grigory and Clara to pursue something deeper. I’m very excited to see how their relationship evolves in the next book, If I Were Yours!
“He’ll move on and forget about our summer fling—or whatever this is. But I won’t. Grigory’s dominance is branded into me, and I know my need to submit to him won’t soon die down.”
I devoured every delicious word of this book. Not Yours to Keep is a very unique take on BDSM romance. There is more to it than just smut and spice, and many of the scenes are more focused on the pain and punishment aspects of BDSM rather than the pleasure. Personally, I liked the darker, destructive take on the intricacies of a BDSM relationship because it felt very realistic. Kink in real life isn’t always about hand necklaces and happy endings; there is a lot of emotional depth that goes along with submission and dominance, and Ella Jacobs captured that conflict perfectly.
As far as plot, there isn’t much action to move the story forward. This novel isn’t about grand twists and turns, but it is a beautifully poignant peek into humanity—a piercing look into the emotional and psychological highs and lows of being immersed in a power exchange relationship that is both physically and emotionally demanding.
The story is told from Clara’s point of view, and you can’t help but empathize with her. She is young, out of her element, longing for leadership, and desperate to please. Even though she is involved in BDSM, I found her to be very innocent and her natural submission and trustingness were lovely to witness. Clara is in a relationship with Markus, a level-headed, rational, compassionate Dom who seems to have her best interests at heart. Through her boyfriend, Clara is introduced to Grigory, an older man who offers to act as her piano instructor—and give her a little extra “guidance” when needed. In the real world, Grigory is exactly the sort of person who shouldn’t be trusted with a young and impressionable girl, but as far as fictional characters go, I absolutely loved him. He was stern, exacting, harsh, and unapologetically dominant. Be warned, Grigory is a true sadist; he enjoys inflicting pain without any thought for giving pleasure or even aftercare along with it.
Even though Clara’s relationship with Markus is stable, I was instantly rooting for Grigory and Clara to pursue something deeper. I’m very excited to see how their relationship evolves in the next book, If I Were Yours!
October 25, 2022
I'm finding it difficult to properly review this book because it made me feel all types of ways.
Clara is in a D/s relationship with opera singer Markus who introduces her to his good friend and world-renowned conductor, Grigory. Markus arranges for Clara to have piano lessons from Grigory in hope Clara would submit to Grigory too and Grigory would let himself enjoy having a sub again. However, as Ella writes in her author's note, this is story about emotions getting in the way of proper aftercare and Grigory doesn't treat Clara the way he should and the way she deserves. Emotions are very high and boundaries and limits are blurred and crossed. This book is not heavy on the sex or smut, it is focused on the emotional side of BDSM rather than the physical and although adding more sex scenes would likely make for an "easier" or "lighter" read, it also would have diluted the point I think Ella was trying to make with Clara and Grigory's story.
The emotions of the relationships radiates from the page through Ella's writing. She has an excellent way of describing the scene and feelings within, you can sense it, you feel what Clara feels. For this reason, I found this a difficult book to want to keep picking up. The emotions and the relationship between Clara and Grigory was such a rollercoaster that the way it was written made you feel everything and it made for an intense read.
Ella's author's note also mentions her own experience within the BDSM lifestyle and this is very evident with the way it's written. It is very clear that this was written by someone with first hand knowledge and experience and it adds authenticity and an extra intimate level to the story. For a debut, Ella has done an incredible job and I'm looking forward to seeing where Clara, Grigory and Markus go from here.
Clara is in a D/s relationship with opera singer Markus who introduces her to his good friend and world-renowned conductor, Grigory. Markus arranges for Clara to have piano lessons from Grigory in hope Clara would submit to Grigory too and Grigory would let himself enjoy having a sub again. However, as Ella writes in her author's note, this is story about emotions getting in the way of proper aftercare and Grigory doesn't treat Clara the way he should and the way she deserves. Emotions are very high and boundaries and limits are blurred and crossed. This book is not heavy on the sex or smut, it is focused on the emotional side of BDSM rather than the physical and although adding more sex scenes would likely make for an "easier" or "lighter" read, it also would have diluted the point I think Ella was trying to make with Clara and Grigory's story.
The emotions of the relationships radiates from the page through Ella's writing. She has an excellent way of describing the scene and feelings within, you can sense it, you feel what Clara feels. For this reason, I found this a difficult book to want to keep picking up. The emotions and the relationship between Clara and Grigory was such a rollercoaster that the way it was written made you feel everything and it made for an intense read.
Ella's author's note also mentions her own experience within the BDSM lifestyle and this is very evident with the way it's written. It is very clear that this was written by someone with first hand knowledge and experience and it adds authenticity and an extra intimate level to the story. For a debut, Ella has done an incredible job and I'm looking forward to seeing where Clara, Grigory and Markus go from here.
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