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So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore: An Unexpected Journey
Jake Colsen, an overworked and disillusioned pastor, happens into a stranger who bears an uncanny resemblance (in manner) to the apostle John. A number of encounters with John as well as a family crisis lead Jake to a new understanding of what his life should be one filled with faith bolstered by a steady, close relationship with the God of the universe. Facing his own disappointment with Christianity, Jake must forsake the habits that have made his faith rote and rediscover the love that captured his heart when he first believed.
Compelling and intensely personal, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anything relates a man's rebirth from performance-based Christianity to a loving friendship with Christ that affects all he does, thinks, and says. As John tells Jake, "There is nothing the Father desires for you more than that you fall squarely in the lap of his love and never move from that place for the rest of your life."
Compelling and intensely personal, So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anything relates a man's rebirth from performance-based Christianity to a loving friendship with Christ that affects all he does, thinks, and says. As John tells Jake, "There is nothing the Father desires for you more than that you fall squarely in the lap of his love and never move from that place for the rest of your life."
192 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2006
166 people are currently reading
5919 people want to read
About the author
Wayne Jacobsen
39 books103 followersWayne Jacobsen was a pastor for 20 years and a Contributing Editor to Leadership Journal and has authored numerous books and articles on spiritual formation, relational community and engagement of culture. Wayne also cohosts a weekly podcast at TheGodJourney.com, out of which came his collaboration on the writing of The Shack and helped create Windblown Media, the publishing company behind the phenomenon.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
As the director of Lifestream Ministries, Jacobsen travels globally teaching on themes of intimacy with God, the Love of God, and relational church life.
As President of BridgeBuilders, he is also a nationally-recognized specialist and mediator in resolving cultural and religious conflicts. Jacobsen has become known for his expertise in the pros and cons of organized religion.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 359 reviews
December 5, 2012
I received this book from a friend. I had seen it around and was very interested in reading it because it looked like just what my family needed.
when given this book, the sister of my friend told me that "it wasn't what we expected, but it was what we needed." I think that is a good description of this book. Maybe you've felt unsatisfied in your church family and have considered leaving. Or maybe you are perfectly happy where you are. Either way, reading this book isn't a waste of time.
Unlike so many books out there that feel like just a list of to-do's that will supposedly fix all your problems, this book guides you through it's story to realize that the "to-do's" and displays of Christianity in the church often fail to supply what we need because, in the end, what we need is a deeper, personal relationship with Christ and the people He puts in our lives.
I highly enjoyed listening to this book and while it may be controversial to some people, I found that it was "just what I needed" and found so many wonderful little gems of wisdom in this book.
We will never have all the answers for life, but we can grow in a closer relationship with The One that does.
when given this book, the sister of my friend told me that "it wasn't what we expected, but it was what we needed." I think that is a good description of this book. Maybe you've felt unsatisfied in your church family and have considered leaving. Or maybe you are perfectly happy where you are. Either way, reading this book isn't a waste of time.
Unlike so many books out there that feel like just a list of to-do's that will supposedly fix all your problems, this book guides you through it's story to realize that the "to-do's" and displays of Christianity in the church often fail to supply what we need because, in the end, what we need is a deeper, personal relationship with Christ and the people He puts in our lives.
I highly enjoyed listening to this book and while it may be controversial to some people, I found that it was "just what I needed" and found so many wonderful little gems of wisdom in this book.
We will never have all the answers for life, but we can grow in a closer relationship with The One that does.
August 14, 2010
This was one of those books that I wasn't sure what was wrong with it until I nearly finished it, mainly because it's written as a journey & you're not quite sure of the final destination 'til the end... There's a bit of wheat among the tares, but overall it has the potential to do much harm - encouraging frustrated people to just leave 'the institution of church' (which is to blame for pretty much everything) & just love & be loved by God. & love others. It's not particularly well written & is more of a polite rant than a novel. It correctly identifies many problems with 'the modern' church (an obvious one would be that it's made up of sinners...) but provides a solution that is less than satisfactory, let alone Scriptural.
May 23, 2012
Not What you Might Expect
This is likely one of the best books I have ever read and I'll tell you why.
I've been all about the Church for most of my life. I've been a pastor, a denominational official, a Church Administrator, an Elder, a Chairman of the Board and while I'm not currently in a formal Church Ministry role, I'm finishing up a Master's degree in Organizational Leadership and writing a Master's Thesis on Leadership Styles and impact within the organization of the Church.
On some levels, I'm sick and tired of the organization of the Church. Many of the criticisms leveled at it for being impersonal, political, manipulative, disingenuous and full of petty people are unfortunately true. There are literally millions of people who comprise the walking wounded who have brushed paths with many Churches and have sworn that they are never going back to such a place because it is full of hypocrites and toxic people.
I understand that. I'm reminded of the man who said all the things above to his wife and ended up with the comment, "And I'm never going back there again." His wife responded, "But you have to go back. You're the Senior Pastor ......"
For all who have felt this way, this book is for you.
Through the masterful use of dialogue in the context of a fictional setting with a pastor who has been wounded, this book touches on all these themes and brings the reader through to the end with an alternative view of Church.
It's not about the organizational Structure. Some imagine that if we just structured the Church right the problems would be solved. I can vouch from a level of involvement that exceeds many, that sadly this is not the case.
The church will never be perfect in this age because I am not perfect.
What is needed is a new view and understanding of the Church. This book does an excellent job of illustrating where hope lies.
I recommend it highly! 5 Stars.
Bart Breen
This is likely one of the best books I have ever read and I'll tell you why.
I've been all about the Church for most of my life. I've been a pastor, a denominational official, a Church Administrator, an Elder, a Chairman of the Board and while I'm not currently in a formal Church Ministry role, I'm finishing up a Master's degree in Organizational Leadership and writing a Master's Thesis on Leadership Styles and impact within the organization of the Church.
On some levels, I'm sick and tired of the organization of the Church. Many of the criticisms leveled at it for being impersonal, political, manipulative, disingenuous and full of petty people are unfortunately true. There are literally millions of people who comprise the walking wounded who have brushed paths with many Churches and have sworn that they are never going back to such a place because it is full of hypocrites and toxic people.
I understand that. I'm reminded of the man who said all the things above to his wife and ended up with the comment, "And I'm never going back there again." His wife responded, "But you have to go back. You're the Senior Pastor ......"
For all who have felt this way, this book is for you.
Through the masterful use of dialogue in the context of a fictional setting with a pastor who has been wounded, this book touches on all these themes and brings the reader through to the end with an alternative view of Church.
It's not about the organizational Structure. Some imagine that if we just structured the Church right the problems would be solved. I can vouch from a level of involvement that exceeds many, that sadly this is not the case.
The church will never be perfect in this age because I am not perfect.
What is needed is a new view and understanding of the Church. This book does an excellent job of illustrating where hope lies.
I recommend it highly! 5 Stars.
Bart Breen
September 29, 2011
This is an incredibly powerful book - and is available free as an e-book as well as being buyable in printed form. It gently looks at why so many Christians are discouraged, or fed up with structured church life, but without in any way criticising the Church as such.
Jake, the main character, relates a series of conversations with an unusual person called John who appears in his life now and again. As he comes to terms with what John is saying, he experiences many struggles in his life until he begins to find a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.
Not everybody will relate to Jake, and not everybody will reject all forms of structured church... but I still highly recommend this to anyone as probably the most thought-provoking short novel I have ever read.
I enjoyed just as much on re-reading five years later, finding the theology (such as it is) even more helpful and encouraging. There isn't much of a story from the 'novel' point of view, but the life changes that happen - and which can happen to anyone, whether or not they have had enough of structured church - are incredible.
Definitely recommended.
Jake, the main character, relates a series of conversations with an unusual person called John who appears in his life now and again. As he comes to terms with what John is saying, he experiences many struggles in his life until he begins to find a deeper and more meaningful relationship with God.
Not everybody will relate to Jake, and not everybody will reject all forms of structured church... but I still highly recommend this to anyone as probably the most thought-provoking short novel I have ever read.
I enjoyed just as much on re-reading five years later, finding the theology (such as it is) even more helpful and encouraging. There isn't much of a story from the 'novel' point of view, but the life changes that happen - and which can happen to anyone, whether or not they have had enough of structured church - are incredible.
Definitely recommended.
September 28, 2016
Throughout this book, I was blown away by the depth of insight that John, one of the characters, offers. I didn’t keep a list of memorable quotes as I went, because I felt like I’d be writing out most of the book! So, I had to flip back through the book to pick out some passages to quote here, and really, it wasn’t difficult to find several- - there are great quotes on almost every page! I’ve listed some good ones at the end of my review.
My situation at the moment is different from the main character, Jake’s, situation, but there were many aspects which I could relate to in his concerns and how he tried to deal with his concerns with unhelpful patterns of thinking. I guess I loved this so much because it was so patently the right book at the right time for me - very much of a God-incidence.
I can’t say I agree entirely with the main concept of the book - that, for the most part, churches are institutions where structure and commitment often replaces the free and easy nature of relationship with God and with others (we meet together because we feel obligated to “do” church, rather than because we want to spend time with God and each other), although I do agree that this can happen. I know there are churches like this, but I hope the other churches - where meeting together helps us to grow and draws us closer to God in an intimate relationship and also to each other so that God’s love and grace shines from us in all our interactions with other people - are in the majority. The article at the end of the book makes some valid points, and I think if people are finding an alternative to structured church that keeps their faith living and active, and if this book helps them in finding their way in that, then that is great as well.
But despite that, some of the minor concepts have been immensely challenging to me. I think this is a book that I could read through again and pick up different things on subsequent read-throughs.
“We don’t get [God’s] love by living up to his standards. We find his love in the most broken place of our lives. As we let him love us there and discover how to love him in return, we’ll find our lives changing in the relationship… Walking toward him is walking away from sin. The better you know him the freer from it you will be. But you can’t walk away from sin, Jake. Not in your own strength! Everything he wants to do in you will get done as you learn to live in his love. Every act of sin results from your mistrust of his love and intentions for you. We sin to fill up broken places, to try to fight for what we think is best for us, or by reacting to our guilt and shame. Once you discover how much he loves you, all that changes. As you grow in trusting him, you will find yourself increasingly free from sin.”
“I’ll admit your circumstances seem much worse now. But that’s not the only place to look. You’re on a new road with your eyes on old road signs. I think what God wants you to know is that those old road signs are nothing but myths to prop up a dying system. They don’t really work, as you’re finding out.”
“God will provide for you. He always has, except you don’t know that. The fact that you don’t have insurance or a job to lean on doesn’t mean he will forsake you. The fact that others are destroying your reputation doesn’t mean they’ll have the final say. God is not a fairy godmother who waves the magic wand to make everything the way we want it. You won’t get far if you question his love for you whenever he doesn’t meet your expectations. He’s your Father. He knows far better what you need than you know yourself. He is a far better provider for you and your family than you yet know. He is bringing you into his life and rather than saving you from these things you are enduring, he has chosen to use them to show you what true freedom and life really are.”
“Part of the journey involves doing what [God] makes clear to you. If you’ve submitted it to him, then let him sort it out. If he were asking you to leave today, I think you’d know that, even in the face of your fears. If he hasn’t made it clear to you, then wait. Just keep loving him and following him every day. I’m learning the joy of resting in him, doing what I know to do and not doing what I don’t know to do. It’s been one of the hardest lessons to learn, but also the most freeing.”
“You had this incredible hunger to know God and follow him. But you also wanted to be circumstantially secure and well-liked. Those just aren’t compatible with following him. We are safe because he is with us, not because our circumstances are easy, and trying to get everyone to like you only made you less a person than God made you to be. When you started following what God put in your heart, the other kingdom had to collapse. It was inevitable if not enviable.”
My situation at the moment is different from the main character, Jake’s, situation, but there were many aspects which I could relate to in his concerns and how he tried to deal with his concerns with unhelpful patterns of thinking. I guess I loved this so much because it was so patently the right book at the right time for me - very much of a God-incidence.
I can’t say I agree entirely with the main concept of the book - that, for the most part, churches are institutions where structure and commitment often replaces the free and easy nature of relationship with God and with others (we meet together because we feel obligated to “do” church, rather than because we want to spend time with God and each other), although I do agree that this can happen. I know there are churches like this, but I hope the other churches - where meeting together helps us to grow and draws us closer to God in an intimate relationship and also to each other so that God’s love and grace shines from us in all our interactions with other people - are in the majority. The article at the end of the book makes some valid points, and I think if people are finding an alternative to structured church that keeps their faith living and active, and if this book helps them in finding their way in that, then that is great as well.
But despite that, some of the minor concepts have been immensely challenging to me. I think this is a book that I could read through again and pick up different things on subsequent read-throughs.
“We don’t get [God’s] love by living up to his standards. We find his love in the most broken place of our lives. As we let him love us there and discover how to love him in return, we’ll find our lives changing in the relationship… Walking toward him is walking away from sin. The better you know him the freer from it you will be. But you can’t walk away from sin, Jake. Not in your own strength! Everything he wants to do in you will get done as you learn to live in his love. Every act of sin results from your mistrust of his love and intentions for you. We sin to fill up broken places, to try to fight for what we think is best for us, or by reacting to our guilt and shame. Once you discover how much he loves you, all that changes. As you grow in trusting him, you will find yourself increasingly free from sin.”
“I’ll admit your circumstances seem much worse now. But that’s not the only place to look. You’re on a new road with your eyes on old road signs. I think what God wants you to know is that those old road signs are nothing but myths to prop up a dying system. They don’t really work, as you’re finding out.”
“God will provide for you. He always has, except you don’t know that. The fact that you don’t have insurance or a job to lean on doesn’t mean he will forsake you. The fact that others are destroying your reputation doesn’t mean they’ll have the final say. God is not a fairy godmother who waves the magic wand to make everything the way we want it. You won’t get far if you question his love for you whenever he doesn’t meet your expectations. He’s your Father. He knows far better what you need than you know yourself. He is a far better provider for you and your family than you yet know. He is bringing you into his life and rather than saving you from these things you are enduring, he has chosen to use them to show you what true freedom and life really are.”
“Part of the journey involves doing what [God] makes clear to you. If you’ve submitted it to him, then let him sort it out. If he were asking you to leave today, I think you’d know that, even in the face of your fears. If he hasn’t made it clear to you, then wait. Just keep loving him and following him every day. I’m learning the joy of resting in him, doing what I know to do and not doing what I don’t know to do. It’s been one of the hardest lessons to learn, but also the most freeing.”
“You had this incredible hunger to know God and follow him. But you also wanted to be circumstantially secure and well-liked. Those just aren’t compatible with following him. We are safe because he is with us, not because our circumstances are easy, and trying to get everyone to like you only made you less a person than God made you to be. When you started following what God put in your heart, the other kingdom had to collapse. It was inevitable if not enviable.”
April 18, 2017
Jake Colsen, an overworked and disillusioned pastor, happens into a stranger who bears an uncanny resemblance (in manner) to the apostle John. A number of encounters with John as well as a family crisis lead Jake to a new understanding of what his life should be like: one filled with faith bolstered by a steady, close relationship with the God of the universe. Facing his own disappointment with Christianity, Jake must forsake the habits that have made his faith rote and rediscover the love that captured his heart when he first believed.
I will be the first to admit that when a friend gave me this book and I saw the title I wondered if I really wanted to read it. But after reading it, I will say that I found it very thought provoking in that it made me really look at myself and what I thought about organized church. The emphasis is on developing a personal relationship with God through Christ that affects everything we think, say and do. So that we are "being Jesus" rather than "doing church." It in no way condemns organized religion but rather encourages all that our faith shouldn't be "all about church" but rather "all about God and Jesus." Focusing our lives on God's Word and the central message of the Gospel and that "organized church" should just be a miniscule part of that.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is involved in a church and wants to take a fresh look at what their faith is really about.
I will be the first to admit that when a friend gave me this book and I saw the title I wondered if I really wanted to read it. But after reading it, I will say that I found it very thought provoking in that it made me really look at myself and what I thought about organized church. The emphasis is on developing a personal relationship with God through Christ that affects everything we think, say and do. So that we are "being Jesus" rather than "doing church." It in no way condemns organized religion but rather encourages all that our faith shouldn't be "all about church" but rather "all about God and Jesus." Focusing our lives on God's Word and the central message of the Gospel and that "organized church" should just be a miniscule part of that.
I would definitely recommend this book to anyone who is involved in a church and wants to take a fresh look at what their faith is really about.
June 11, 2017
*sighs deeply*
I don't know what to say about this book. I found it sitting on the shelf in a St. Vinny's and the title piqued my curiosity. After seeing that the audiobook was on Hoopla I decided to try it one evening with Devin and I don't want to say "it changed everything" but I honestly hope it has. I figured with that title it could go any direction, but I honestly wasn't really expecting the direction it DID go. A fictional exploration of what it means to be the body of Christ and to follow Jesus, it made me realize the origins of some of my more "pharisaic" tendencies, and was really convicting. It's not the type of book that will leave you with a list of things you need to do, which causes people like me, who have an "achiever" strength, to struggle. For people like my husband, who is most content "being" and has a strength of inner belief, it seemed to verbalize and explain things he's always felt but never really knew why about how church is usually done.
There were definitely a couple things that made me slightly uneasy in phrasing, but the number of absolute convicting revelations about how I've lived FAAAAAAR outweigh any tiny things I had concerns about. The writing isn't anything special imo, but the content was really powerful to us, and we would love to discuss it with others.
I don't know what to say about this book. I found it sitting on the shelf in a St. Vinny's and the title piqued my curiosity. After seeing that the audiobook was on Hoopla I decided to try it one evening with Devin and I don't want to say "it changed everything" but I honestly hope it has. I figured with that title it could go any direction, but I honestly wasn't really expecting the direction it DID go. A fictional exploration of what it means to be the body of Christ and to follow Jesus, it made me realize the origins of some of my more "pharisaic" tendencies, and was really convicting. It's not the type of book that will leave you with a list of things you need to do, which causes people like me, who have an "achiever" strength, to struggle. For people like my husband, who is most content "being" and has a strength of inner belief, it seemed to verbalize and explain things he's always felt but never really knew why about how church is usually done.
There were definitely a couple things that made me slightly uneasy in phrasing, but the number of absolute convicting revelations about how I've lived FAAAAAAR outweigh any tiny things I had concerns about. The writing isn't anything special imo, but the content was really powerful to us, and we would love to discuss it with others.
March 25, 2013
This should be titled,
"So you don't want to go to church anymore... Good neither do we!" Because no one in this story went back to church.
I like what one reviewer (Christine) said, "This was one of those books that I wasn't sure what was wrong with it until I nearly finished it, mainly because it's written as a journey & you're not quite sure of the final destination 'til the end..." I really read it thinking it was to help people go back to church and heal those wounds, but this book is just the opposite. If you read that last 2 chapters you will understand why they say some of the things they do...
Why one star?
1. I didn't like the fiction writing
Now I am no fiction reader, but I could not figure out who was who. It never really said, "John said, Jake replied." I thought that's how fiction is wrote (Just my opinion, lol).
2. The book is against church
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near" (Hebrews 10:25). This book, in the last chapters, John one of the main characters says (ultimately) that you don't need to meet up regularly... This totally contradicts Hebrews 10:25.
"So you don't want to go to church anymore... Good neither do we!" Because no one in this story went back to church.
I like what one reviewer (Christine) said, "This was one of those books that I wasn't sure what was wrong with it until I nearly finished it, mainly because it's written as a journey & you're not quite sure of the final destination 'til the end..." I really read it thinking it was to help people go back to church and heal those wounds, but this book is just the opposite. If you read that last 2 chapters you will understand why they say some of the things they do...
Why one star?
1. I didn't like the fiction writing
Now I am no fiction reader, but I could not figure out who was who. It never really said, "John said, Jake replied." I thought that's how fiction is wrote (Just my opinion, lol).
2. The book is against church
And let us not neglect our meeting together, as some people do, but encourage one another, especially now that the day of his return is drawing near" (Hebrews 10:25). This book, in the last chapters, John one of the main characters says (ultimately) that you don't need to meet up regularly... This totally contradicts Hebrews 10:25.
March 26, 2018
I really liked this book. My husband and I read it together. We both enjoyed it, finishing it much faster than we normally finish the books we read together. We didn’t agree with everything the authors said, but that’s normal. We were challenged to think and rethink the way we think about church and Christian living. The book is formatted like a story, and the points are made in conversations between the characters. This book pushes hard against current church structure, but it’s never condemning. I recommend it.
February 1, 2017
Over the past year our family has started participating in a house based church instead of a traditional building church. We have really enjoyed the freedom that has come in doing that. This book really confirmed my discontent with what "church" should look like as well as provoked other thoughts on my personal relationship with God.
May 28, 2018
This is a poor title for the book. It's more about HOW to go to church: Relationally - with people and with God.
A strange little book that I tried to hate. And did for a bit - but then it seemed to redeem itself. It's a novel with a huge message.
More to come...
A strange little book that I tried to hate. And did for a bit - but then it seemed to redeem itself. It's a novel with a huge message.
More to come...
June 12, 2010
What do I think about this book? I don't know. This book contained the Christ-focus I felt The Shack sorely lacked and it did not push the Universalist beliefs that made me so uncomfortable with the Shack. How now shall you live? I still don't know what is the answer, but I do know for sure that the teachings of my denominational church are not the answer. I needed to read this book now, since I have spent a dreadfully painful two-years wrestling with doubts about the big business that is my church, which I dub Methodism, Inc., and never before have seen my struggles described so clearly in words. It pains me to tithe and see the money go for salaries, benefits, housing for the church's wealthy CEO's--just politicians by another name--while the local soup mission needs that money for outreach to the physically and spiritually hungry. The author's are certainly asking the same questions I am, but I am just not sure about the answers. It has inspired me to spend reading time on Wayne Jacobsen's websites to further explore and think about "how now shall I live?" I had pretty much made up my mind to leave the church after the end of the year, but oddly enough, reading this book changed my mind. I made several decisions, however, which involve trying not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. My one reason for staying--the people. The church is full of hurting needy people and the church is the vehicle that connects me to them. Possibly Christ still sees the institutional church as a mission field and is leading me to serve there--as long as I don't get confused and buy into the institutional garbage. So I am going to try that approach first. I needed this book to remind me that just like a Christian can be in the world but not of the world, a Christian can also be in the institutional church, but not of the institutional church, if it is through the church she finds the people who need what Christ is offering. This book helped me find the clarity and courage to leave committees and the administrative clap-trap the church bureaucracy forces on the local congregations and focus on prayer and mission, and to quit tithing to church buildings,salaries, etc. and instead give to charities and missions that appear to be following the leading of the Holy Spirit in their outreach. If in spite of these decisions, the church still proves to be a stumbling block that interferes with my following Christ, I am out of there. I do not love and need the institutional church of man's traditions and ceremonies, what I love and need is the Lordship of Christ.
January 25, 2009
Have you ever wanted to have a sit down conversation with one of Jesus' disciples? Chances are....none of us will get that opportunity this side of eternity. But, through this book and in this message, you will take an unexpected journey and discover truths about the body of Christ and your walk of faith that will change the way you live.
You will not want to miss out on this opportunity to hear answers to some of your most desperate questions about "the church." Should you feel guilty about not going to a church on Sundays? Are you supposed to be working in a full time ministry? Is it important to have a "membership" to a particular church body? The answers to these questions and many more will yield insight into what the TRUE body of Christ is supposed to be. Most people would admit that the "body" is broken, but what we can't seem to do.....is mend it. This book will lay out the blueprint that Jesus gave us in His life, and through His teachings, and set us on the path that the "body of Christ" was meant to follow.....there is no other way to "be the body," than to "follow Him." The message within this book will help you look at your walk of faith in a whole new light .....
You will not want to miss this "unexpected journey!"
You will not want to miss out on this opportunity to hear answers to some of your most desperate questions about "the church." Should you feel guilty about not going to a church on Sundays? Are you supposed to be working in a full time ministry? Is it important to have a "membership" to a particular church body? The answers to these questions and many more will yield insight into what the TRUE body of Christ is supposed to be. Most people would admit that the "body" is broken, but what we can't seem to do.....is mend it. This book will lay out the blueprint that Jesus gave us in His life, and through His teachings, and set us on the path that the "body of Christ" was meant to follow.....there is no other way to "be the body," than to "follow Him." The message within this book will help you look at your walk of faith in a whole new light .....
You will not want to miss this "unexpected journey!"
July 8, 2009
Interesting book about how church can interfere with our relationship with Jesus. Thought-provoking read that I would recommend to anyone. My only problem with it was that initially it seemed to blame all our spiritual problems on the organized church, which takes no responsibility on ourselves. Otherwise, had good insight into what churches often do wrong.
April 11, 2009
Liking this rec from Nate. I'm in Chapter 4 or 5 right now (tough to keep track on an audiobook) Definitely a great source for some ongoing conversation, thought, and ongoing discussion about the often power-hungry, spiritual guilt wielding "institution" of the church vs. the purpose that God intended. So far I've really liked and been encouraged by the emphasis the author is placing on a thriving, authentic, organic love relationship w/ Jesus that also results in community. It's so easy to become cynical about the present state of our American, little "c" church. But, as Shane Claiborne says in one of his books that I'm currently reading, we must become "a generation that stops complaining about the church it sees and becomes the church it dreams of," the Church that manifests God's Kingdom in the here and now. Rather than try to change everyone and everything else that we observe is wrong, we must allow God's movement in our own lives to change us first.
Reading Claiborne's Irrisistible Revolution at the same time as this was a good pairing. Lots of parallel thoughts and perspective on the church. After finishing So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, here are some notes and quotes that I jotted down:
"U will never be able to follow Jesus' principles unless u r following Him first"
Following principles didn't produce the early church's life together
"Our life together expresses itself as the Church"
Community is a gift, not an obligation; Father creates & provides it to those seeking Him.
It's not about being more right than someone else or trying to change them. It's about letting God change you and in the process becoming more fully alive in Him.
"Every time people see God moving someone has to build a building or start a movement." (NOT supposed to be this way)
It is GOD who builds His Church, not us.
Religion is a shame management system.
"Equip people to live in Him first...Discipleship always comes before community."
Elders and pastors are to equip followers, not "manage machinery."
"Truth has its own time."
Reading Claiborne's Irrisistible Revolution at the same time as this was a good pairing. Lots of parallel thoughts and perspective on the church. After finishing So You Don't Want to Go to Church Anymore, here are some notes and quotes that I jotted down:
"U will never be able to follow Jesus' principles unless u r following Him first"
Following principles didn't produce the early church's life together
"Our life together expresses itself as the Church"
Community is a gift, not an obligation; Father creates & provides it to those seeking Him.
It's not about being more right than someone else or trying to change them. It's about letting God change you and in the process becoming more fully alive in Him.
"Every time people see God moving someone has to build a building or start a movement." (NOT supposed to be this way)
It is GOD who builds His Church, not us.
Religion is a shame management system.
"Equip people to live in Him first...Discipleship always comes before community."
Elders and pastors are to equip followers, not "manage machinery."
"Truth has its own time."
January 8, 2010
Got this book based on good Amazon reviews. It drew me in but then it became increasingly annoying. This is the second fiction book I've read about a disillusioned Christian who's getting advice from a mysterious character who seems to know everything. I'd strongly prefer an honest memoir about the authors' real life experiences. This is just really bad fiction. Not believable. Weird. Boring.
April 5, 2018
As always this is not a book report or a critique. Rather, it is some thoughts that stuck with me while reading “So You Don’t Want to Go to Church Anymore” by Wayne Jacobsen.
Rethinking Church
Without digging through my calendar, I cannot remember the last time I was in a church. I am sure it was for someone’s wedding. It is almost always for someone’s wedding. Yet, I pick up books like these because I want to be challenged. For over a decade now, I have been wearing the title of agnostic like a badge of honor. In the last year, I have been exploring Buddhism. Still, I have some thoughts on how the modern church should function.
As a kid, we attended Trinity Baptist Church in Frederick, Oklahoma. We were there for Sunday school, Sunday service, Sunday evening worship service, Wednesday night youth group, and occasionally my brothers and me would tag along to business meetings. Our lives revolved around church. All our friends were there. We socialized outside of the church with people from church. I spent 18 years inside that building and went through three different leaders. Each one had a different idea about how things should function. The last pastor I had seemed to be less focused on the business of leading a church and more focused on rethinking what this institution could be. Much like the author of the book, he was focused on creating a congregation not solely focused on the regiments of faith but instead focused on building a relationship with God. Of the three pastors I grew up around, he was my favorite.
Then 9/11 happened and my faith began to get shaky. While in college, I would go to churches in Edmond off and on, but as my doubts swelled I found myself longing to be free to question openly and proudly. As I look back and reflect, much of which was initiated by this book, I become disgusted with those business meetings, committees, and deacons. I see men who were standing in the way of truth. I see politics in religion and it disgusts me. While I have chosen a different path than the author, I find it comforting to know I am not alone.
My Faith
I honestly believe if every follower of Jesus is truthful with you, they can remember moments in their lives when they have had doubts about everything they’ve been taught and/or read. I often hear how their faith saved them from traveling too far down that road. As I said above, I didn’t begin to hear the whispers of doubt until 9/11 and the years that followed. When those seeds were planted in my mind, I decided I wanted to have an honest conversation with myself. If I came out on the other side as a stronger Christian, then so be it. I had to know though. I had to know for myself. I was an adult and I needed to be able to defend what I believed. For me, the only way I could do this was by passionately questioning everything.
I questioned the institution, miracles, the Bible, and the very existence of God. Like this book, I read authors on both sides of the argument. I spent time listening to lectures, talking with believers and nonbelievers, and in deep thought. Finally, I came to a simple but complicated decision. There was too much doubt for me to be sure. I could prove nothing and a reliance on faith alone would never work for me. I decided to call myself agnostic. I continued and still hunt for the truth. For me, there is a lot of joy to be found in the hunt.
A Need for Community
Being agnostic is, at times, a lonely enterprise. I am not spending time with the same people on a weekly basis. We aren’t focused on the same idea. We aren’t chasing the same goal. Instead, my doubts and I are left to our own devices. My questioning of the community to which I belonged left me without a community to belong. The author of this book spends a lot of time discussing the need for community that believed as he did. As I have explored Buddhism, this has become real for me. Sitting alone meditating or reading the teachings of the Buddha is perfectly fine. Still, I have found myself longing for something more. I have found myself longing to be around people on the same journey. Perhaps it is man’s communal nature, or maybe we need to draw close when we ponder life’s great mysteries. Whatever it is, the need for community written about in this book connected with me deeply.
A Passion Other People Can See
I think we are drawn toward the aura of passionate people. Like moths drawn to the light of a midsummer evening’s light, we move toward thinkers and doers spilling over with a love for their purpose. We want to emulate them, learn from them, and walk beside them. To be stuck in an institution without this kind of leadership is disheartening and demoralizing. It will leave you looking for the exits. I say this as a cautionary tale. As followers, we must ensure that we are drawn to the purpose, not the person. As leaders, we must keep those in our presence focused on the bigger picture. To do otherwise is idol worship and conquers nothing. This is true both inside and outside the church.
Be good to each other,
-Nathan
Rethinking Church
Without digging through my calendar, I cannot remember the last time I was in a church. I am sure it was for someone’s wedding. It is almost always for someone’s wedding. Yet, I pick up books like these because I want to be challenged. For over a decade now, I have been wearing the title of agnostic like a badge of honor. In the last year, I have been exploring Buddhism. Still, I have some thoughts on how the modern church should function.
As a kid, we attended Trinity Baptist Church in Frederick, Oklahoma. We were there for Sunday school, Sunday service, Sunday evening worship service, Wednesday night youth group, and occasionally my brothers and me would tag along to business meetings. Our lives revolved around church. All our friends were there. We socialized outside of the church with people from church. I spent 18 years inside that building and went through three different leaders. Each one had a different idea about how things should function. The last pastor I had seemed to be less focused on the business of leading a church and more focused on rethinking what this institution could be. Much like the author of the book, he was focused on creating a congregation not solely focused on the regiments of faith but instead focused on building a relationship with God. Of the three pastors I grew up around, he was my favorite.
Then 9/11 happened and my faith began to get shaky. While in college, I would go to churches in Edmond off and on, but as my doubts swelled I found myself longing to be free to question openly and proudly. As I look back and reflect, much of which was initiated by this book, I become disgusted with those business meetings, committees, and deacons. I see men who were standing in the way of truth. I see politics in religion and it disgusts me. While I have chosen a different path than the author, I find it comforting to know I am not alone.
My Faith
I honestly believe if every follower of Jesus is truthful with you, they can remember moments in their lives when they have had doubts about everything they’ve been taught and/or read. I often hear how their faith saved them from traveling too far down that road. As I said above, I didn’t begin to hear the whispers of doubt until 9/11 and the years that followed. When those seeds were planted in my mind, I decided I wanted to have an honest conversation with myself. If I came out on the other side as a stronger Christian, then so be it. I had to know though. I had to know for myself. I was an adult and I needed to be able to defend what I believed. For me, the only way I could do this was by passionately questioning everything.
I questioned the institution, miracles, the Bible, and the very existence of God. Like this book, I read authors on both sides of the argument. I spent time listening to lectures, talking with believers and nonbelievers, and in deep thought. Finally, I came to a simple but complicated decision. There was too much doubt for me to be sure. I could prove nothing and a reliance on faith alone would never work for me. I decided to call myself agnostic. I continued and still hunt for the truth. For me, there is a lot of joy to be found in the hunt.
A Need for Community
Being agnostic is, at times, a lonely enterprise. I am not spending time with the same people on a weekly basis. We aren’t focused on the same idea. We aren’t chasing the same goal. Instead, my doubts and I are left to our own devices. My questioning of the community to which I belonged left me without a community to belong. The author of this book spends a lot of time discussing the need for community that believed as he did. As I have explored Buddhism, this has become real for me. Sitting alone meditating or reading the teachings of the Buddha is perfectly fine. Still, I have found myself longing for something more. I have found myself longing to be around people on the same journey. Perhaps it is man’s communal nature, or maybe we need to draw close when we ponder life’s great mysteries. Whatever it is, the need for community written about in this book connected with me deeply.
A Passion Other People Can See
I think we are drawn toward the aura of passionate people. Like moths drawn to the light of a midsummer evening’s light, we move toward thinkers and doers spilling over with a love for their purpose. We want to emulate them, learn from them, and walk beside them. To be stuck in an institution without this kind of leadership is disheartening and demoralizing. It will leave you looking for the exits. I say this as a cautionary tale. As followers, we must ensure that we are drawn to the purpose, not the person. As leaders, we must keep those in our presence focused on the bigger picture. To do otherwise is idol worship and conquers nothing. This is true both inside and outside the church.
Be good to each other,
-Nathan
April 3, 2018
Very challenging to the status quo of church life. Many great one line zingers, but all not completely Biblical. For example, on page 41 they write, "Do you remember what Stephen said right before they picked up stones to kill him? 'The Most High does not dwell in houses made by human hands.' That's when they turned on him." But if you double check in Acts 7, there's 10 verses, many more words between that proclimation and their picking up stones.
Also, on page 56, the books gives the impression that there are no Bible verses for accountability. While the word or phrase, "hold each other accountable " is not in the Bible, the concept still is. Heb 10:25 exhort one another, James 5:16 confess sins to one another, Matt 18: 15-17, Prov 27:17, Eph 5:21. on and on. I think perhaps the point they were trying to make is to be sure we are exhorting and holding accountable to the things that God has asked us for and not are man-made religious rules.
So while this book is excellent, it does need to be read with a prayer of discernment so that you can effectively chew on the meat and spit out the bones.
I I'm told this book is very popular in the home Church movement but I do not get that impression at all. It is just as biting and cutting to a improper home church as it is to the institution of church. It is trying to get us to realize location does not matter. The body of the church is relationships not structure or format- and the most important relationship is the individual with Jesus himself not relationships with each other!!
I think the best way to sum it up is a paragraph towards the end on page 169:
"You think of gatherings as meetings to go to and trying to craft the perfect format that will guarantee results that no meeting can guarantee. But you don't see yet that Jesus is always Gathering his flock to himself. People from all over the world are finding their hunger for him eclipsing their hunger for anything else and that every substitute they try only adds to their restlessness. As they keep their eye on him, not only do they grow closer to him with each passing day, but they will find themselves alongside others who are headed that way too. Geese fly together not because they are obligated to do so, but because it lightens their load and lifts them closer to their goal."
I am thankful to be reading this book with several others in my church family as we are in a time of transition and seeking the Lord for Direction.
Also, on page 56, the books gives the impression that there are no Bible verses for accountability. While the word or phrase, "hold each other accountable " is not in the Bible, the concept still is. Heb 10:25 exhort one another, James 5:16 confess sins to one another, Matt 18: 15-17, Prov 27:17, Eph 5:21. on and on. I think perhaps the point they were trying to make is to be sure we are exhorting and holding accountable to the things that God has asked us for and not are man-made religious rules.
So while this book is excellent, it does need to be read with a prayer of discernment so that you can effectively chew on the meat and spit out the bones.
I I'm told this book is very popular in the home Church movement but I do not get that impression at all. It is just as biting and cutting to a improper home church as it is to the institution of church. It is trying to get us to realize location does not matter. The body of the church is relationships not structure or format- and the most important relationship is the individual with Jesus himself not relationships with each other!!
I think the best way to sum it up is a paragraph towards the end on page 169:
"You think of gatherings as meetings to go to and trying to craft the perfect format that will guarantee results that no meeting can guarantee. But you don't see yet that Jesus is always Gathering his flock to himself. People from all over the world are finding their hunger for him eclipsing their hunger for anything else and that every substitute they try only adds to their restlessness. As they keep their eye on him, not only do they grow closer to him with each passing day, but they will find themselves alongside others who are headed that way too. Geese fly together not because they are obligated to do so, but because it lightens their load and lifts them closer to their goal."
I am thankful to be reading this book with several others in my church family as we are in a time of transition and seeking the Lord for Direction.
October 17, 2019
4.7/5.0
A Christian autobiographical allegory with a heavy punch.
It’s not often I read any fiction, let alone Christian fiction. However, I’m very glad I gave this one the time of day. The narrative of a story has a way to dig beneath your presumptions like no other as you come to see the world through the lens of the characters. And this book will certainly do just that as it challenges your view of “church” - what it means to follow Jesus and love His people.
On the whole, this is an excellent, probing, gentle yet poignant book that will challenge your view of “church”. Whether you think it broadens your view or shrinks it will depend on whether you agree with the underlying premise of the book’s arguments. Arguments that are somehow both controversial and cliche, familiar yet radical. Though I may want to add some emphasises in places (e.g. the centrality of the word of God), when you appreciate the full nuance of the book, I for one thinks main premise is generally spot-on.
It is a call back to church first and foremost as the New Testament family of God: people over programmes, service over ego, freedom over shame, partnership over performance, honesty over honour, relationships over politics, authenticity over organisation, love over legalism, fellowship over membership, transformation over obligation.
The book still has a few weaknesses to note. The writing style and the story is basic, odd and sometimes hard to follow. Although the arguments are generally finely balanced, there is more than a hint of: anarchist, anti-authority, moral relativism and ecclesiological isolationism.
A helpful reminder of the priority of church life: authentic fellowship that seeks to build God’s kingdom and not our own.
Highly recommended.
A Christian autobiographical allegory with a heavy punch.
It’s not often I read any fiction, let alone Christian fiction. However, I’m very glad I gave this one the time of day. The narrative of a story has a way to dig beneath your presumptions like no other as you come to see the world through the lens of the characters. And this book will certainly do just that as it challenges your view of “church” - what it means to follow Jesus and love His people.
On the whole, this is an excellent, probing, gentle yet poignant book that will challenge your view of “church”. Whether you think it broadens your view or shrinks it will depend on whether you agree with the underlying premise of the book’s arguments. Arguments that are somehow both controversial and cliche, familiar yet radical. Though I may want to add some emphasises in places (e.g. the centrality of the word of God), when you appreciate the full nuance of the book, I for one thinks main premise is generally spot-on.
It is a call back to church first and foremost as the New Testament family of God: people over programmes, service over ego, freedom over shame, partnership over performance, honesty over honour, relationships over politics, authenticity over organisation, love over legalism, fellowship over membership, transformation over obligation.
The book still has a few weaknesses to note. The writing style and the story is basic, odd and sometimes hard to follow. Although the arguments are generally finely balanced, there is more than a hint of: anarchist, anti-authority, moral relativism and ecclesiological isolationism.
A helpful reminder of the priority of church life: authentic fellowship that seeks to build God’s kingdom and not our own.
Highly recommended.
March 18, 2025
What a strange and lovely little book. It gave voice to so much of my experience and so much of what I’ve been feeling. It tells the story of one man’s shifting relationship with God through a series of conversations with someone who may or may not be the apostle John. Through those conversations the main character and several in his sphere of influence learn that church is not somewhere you go or something you do out of obligation. Church is being part of a living relationship with God and those who love Him.
I did have some issues with it, based on my own sensitivities. There is an abuse situation in the book that I don’t believe is handled correctly at all, but it’s portrayed as if it’s the way God wanted things handled. I take major issue with that. Of course in the book everything turns out okay, but there is zero guarantee of that in real life. That took away an entire star from what could have been a 5 star read for me. A minor, but related, issue I had was that twice the (married) main character has conversations with young women he describes as ‘beautiful.’ This turned my stomach, because whether these women were beautiful or not had nothing to do with anything. To the author, maybe it’s just an adjective he’s throwing out there, but to me it felt unnecessary and icky.
On the positive side though, I felt like the insight contained in this parable story was immense. Sometimes it felt like the author was living inside my head. I often felt my heart sing with the truth of what was being said. It gave me so much comfort and guidance. I think that’s what made the things that bothered me bother me all the more… they stood in stark contrast to an otherwise poignant and wise tale.
I did have some issues with it, based on my own sensitivities. There is an abuse situation in the book that I don’t believe is handled correctly at all, but it’s portrayed as if it’s the way God wanted things handled. I take major issue with that. Of course in the book everything turns out okay, but there is zero guarantee of that in real life. That took away an entire star from what could have been a 5 star read for me. A minor, but related, issue I had was that twice the (married) main character has conversations with young women he describes as ‘beautiful.’ This turned my stomach, because whether these women were beautiful or not had nothing to do with anything. To the author, maybe it’s just an adjective he’s throwing out there, but to me it felt unnecessary and icky.
On the positive side though, I felt like the insight contained in this parable story was immense. Sometimes it felt like the author was living inside my head. I often felt my heart sing with the truth of what was being said. It gave me so much comfort and guidance. I think that’s what made the things that bothered me bother me all the more… they stood in stark contrast to an otherwise poignant and wise tale.
January 15, 2011
This book came highly recommended by a couple of people. One of the authors had helped to write The Shack and I could see simialarities. It was written as a story, which I wasn't expecting, but very effective. There were a couple comments that I felt were not Biblical (as in the Shack), such as "We can't love what we fear." Considering how much the Bible talks about the fear of God being integral to our walk with Him, perhaps even more emphasized than the love of God, I felt this comment was in strong error. It was 2 things like this that I struggled with, not just things that were opinions, but not Biblical. The rest of the book was inspirational, not causing division or church bashing but pointing us toward the Father and full of wisdom.
July 19, 2018
I finally finished this but I’m still chewing on all of its ideas. I know the title seems extreme, but the book is a narrative about an assistant pastor who gets burned by the religious institution of “church.” So many truths are written in the book that really have me thinking. Personally I’m not going to quit attending weekly meetings at my local organization, but I am looking at it with a fresh new perspective and expectation. I highly recommend this read if you have ever felt disappointed/confused with the institution we call church.
June 8, 2022
This book strikes a chord with many of us who've grown up inside institutional church and have struggled to find life, or at least the life that Jesus promises to those who follow Him. The problem is, according to the author, is that we've been looking to the institution as a substitute for the freedom and joy found in Christ alone. This book will help simplify your relationship with Jesus and by His grace, help you to find deeper relationship with Him and in genuine community with those who want to know His heart.
June 22, 2009
This book explains my personal views of Christianity to a "tee". I loved every page of it and recommend it to everyone.
July 24, 2017
Not the best written, but what an important subject. I can suggest this book on the title, alone.
February 3, 2013
Great book and engagingly written. By another writer, the plot would have seem contrived, but by these two I felt drawn into the story. About halfway or a little more than halfway, I was really drinking it all in and couldn't wait to get to the end to see how everything worked out.
Here are some of the passages that spoke to me (my notes in italics):
"It seems like everyone I've talked to lately is running on empty--even Christians I've known for decades. I met with one of our elders yesterday, who I've always thought to be a rock. Davis is pretty disillusioned with it all these days. He told me he often wonders if God is even real or if this whole Christianity thing is just a crock.
What did you tell him?
I tried to encourage him. I told him we couldn't live by sight but by faith; that he's done a lot of wonderful things for God and he'll honor that someday. We just have to be faithful and not trust our own feelings.
So you told him he didn't have the right to his feelings, or his questions?
No, that's not what I said.
Are you sure? The question was gentle, not accusing.
Taken back, I replayed what I had said to him.
Understand something, Jake, this life in Jesus is a real thing. It's not a game. When people sense something's wrong, you know what I've discovered? Something usually is." (p. 27)
"Today it's convincing people to cooperate with the church program. It doesn't matter what leads people away from God's life. Anything will do, as long as it preoccupies them enough to serve as an adequate substitute for the real thing. It's easier to see the problem when the standard is circumcision in Ephesus than when it is Sunday morning attendance in Kingston. But both can lrad to the same thing: bored and disillusioned believers, no longer embracing Father's life." (p. 31)
"Well, I don't know about this place, but in others there are some sins that aren't allowed at all--usually sexual sins or teaching something the leaders don't like. But others just as destructive are ignored, such as gossip, arrogance, or condemning others. Sometimes these are even rewarded, because we can use those to get people to act the way we want them to.
Even our sense of sin was selective. I could see it now. I knew people who were able to exploit the system for their own gain, even if it hurt others. I'd done it myself.
Isn't it interesting how a group of people who get together regularly will eventually develop an esprit de corps, even down to how people dress and talk, what reactions they allow, and what songs they like to sing? Isn't it pretty clear hear what being a good Christian is, and isn't a big part of that not to make any waves or ask questions that make people uncomfortable?
He got that right.
One of the most significant lessons Jesus taught his disciples was to stop looking for God's life in the regimen of rituals and rules. He came not to refurbish their religion, but to offer them a relationship. Was it just a coincidence that he found more sick people on the Sabbath? Of course not! He wanted his disciples to know that the rules and traditions of men get in the way of the power and life of his Father." (p. 43)
"...just because people abuse something doesn't make it wrong." (p. 46)
"Jake, when are you going to get past the mistaken notion that Christianity is about ethics?"
"I've lived my whole life in Christ thinking this was all about ethics.
And that is why you're missing it. You're so caught up in a system of reward and punishment that you're missing the simple relationship he wants to have with you."
"We don't get his love by living up to his standards. We find his love in the most broken places of our lives. As we let him love us there and discover how to love him in return, we'll find our lives changing in that relationship." (p. 52)
"...don't use our conversations to change others. Until they are looking for the same things you are, people will not understand and you'll be accused of far worse. You're trying to live what I said without letting God make it real in you."
"It's natural for us to deal with our own emptiness by trying to get others around us to change. That's why so much body life today is built around accountability and human effort: if we could just get everyone else to do what's right, everything would be better for us." (p. 55)
"If we hold people accountable, they will never learn to live in love. We'll reward those who are better at putting on a front and miss those who are in the real struggle of learning to live in Jesus." (p. 56)
"I'd never seen a group of people treat one another with such hostility and deceit while working so hard to appear sweet and innocent." (p. 58) I experienced this firsthand.
"Why are we trying to save everyone else's kids when we're losing our own?
The whole place was filled with hoodlums." A common mindset among some religious folk when it comes to outreach. Let's face it, outreach can be messy and inconvenient and some people are just not ready for that.
"...that's the problem with institutions, isn't it? The institution provides something more important than simply loving one another in the same way we've been loved. Once you build an institution together, you have to protect it and its assets to be good stewards. It confuses everything. Even 'love' gets redefined as that which protects the institution and 'unloving' as that which does not. It will turn some of the nicest people in the world into raging maniacs and they never stop to think that all the name-calling and accusations are the opposite of love." (p. 60)
"Every difference of opinion becomes a contest for power."
"We've had this underlying tension between people who think our fellowship is too ingrown and those who worry that bringing in a lot of new people will spoil what we have." (p. 61)
"When we're so afraid we can't make it without the institution, then right and wrong go out the window and the only thing that concerns us is our own survival."
"Religion survives by telling us we need to fall in line or some horrible fate will befall us." (p. 64)
"We even use things like 'doctrinal unity' to control people by stifling any disagreement." (p. 65)
"...truth has its time. If you tell someone the truth before they're ready to hear it, you can push them further away, no matter how well intentioned you might be." (p. 142)
"It made me wonder if this was why Jesus spoke in parables and metaphors--to help hungry people see without unnecessarily hardening those who were not ready." (p. 143)
"We are safe because he is with us, not because our circumstances are easy, and trying to get everyone to like you only made you less a person than God made you to be. When you started following what God put in your heart, the other kingdom had to collapse." (p. 148)
Here are some of the passages that spoke to me (my notes in italics):
"It seems like everyone I've talked to lately is running on empty--even Christians I've known for decades. I met with one of our elders yesterday, who I've always thought to be a rock. Davis is pretty disillusioned with it all these days. He told me he often wonders if God is even real or if this whole Christianity thing is just a crock.
What did you tell him?
I tried to encourage him. I told him we couldn't live by sight but by faith; that he's done a lot of wonderful things for God and he'll honor that someday. We just have to be faithful and not trust our own feelings.
So you told him he didn't have the right to his feelings, or his questions?
No, that's not what I said.
Are you sure? The question was gentle, not accusing.
Taken back, I replayed what I had said to him.
Understand something, Jake, this life in Jesus is a real thing. It's not a game. When people sense something's wrong, you know what I've discovered? Something usually is." (p. 27)
"Today it's convincing people to cooperate with the church program. It doesn't matter what leads people away from God's life. Anything will do, as long as it preoccupies them enough to serve as an adequate substitute for the real thing. It's easier to see the problem when the standard is circumcision in Ephesus than when it is Sunday morning attendance in Kingston. But both can lrad to the same thing: bored and disillusioned believers, no longer embracing Father's life." (p. 31)
"Well, I don't know about this place, but in others there are some sins that aren't allowed at all--usually sexual sins or teaching something the leaders don't like. But others just as destructive are ignored, such as gossip, arrogance, or condemning others. Sometimes these are even rewarded, because we can use those to get people to act the way we want them to.
Even our sense of sin was selective. I could see it now. I knew people who were able to exploit the system for their own gain, even if it hurt others. I'd done it myself.
Isn't it interesting how a group of people who get together regularly will eventually develop an esprit de corps, even down to how people dress and talk, what reactions they allow, and what songs they like to sing? Isn't it pretty clear hear what being a good Christian is, and isn't a big part of that not to make any waves or ask questions that make people uncomfortable?
He got that right.
One of the most significant lessons Jesus taught his disciples was to stop looking for God's life in the regimen of rituals and rules. He came not to refurbish their religion, but to offer them a relationship. Was it just a coincidence that he found more sick people on the Sabbath? Of course not! He wanted his disciples to know that the rules and traditions of men get in the way of the power and life of his Father." (p. 43)
"...just because people abuse something doesn't make it wrong." (p. 46)
"Jake, when are you going to get past the mistaken notion that Christianity is about ethics?"
"I've lived my whole life in Christ thinking this was all about ethics.
And that is why you're missing it. You're so caught up in a system of reward and punishment that you're missing the simple relationship he wants to have with you."
"We don't get his love by living up to his standards. We find his love in the most broken places of our lives. As we let him love us there and discover how to love him in return, we'll find our lives changing in that relationship." (p. 52)
"...don't use our conversations to change others. Until they are looking for the same things you are, people will not understand and you'll be accused of far worse. You're trying to live what I said without letting God make it real in you."
"It's natural for us to deal with our own emptiness by trying to get others around us to change. That's why so much body life today is built around accountability and human effort: if we could just get everyone else to do what's right, everything would be better for us." (p. 55)
"If we hold people accountable, they will never learn to live in love. We'll reward those who are better at putting on a front and miss those who are in the real struggle of learning to live in Jesus." (p. 56)
"I'd never seen a group of people treat one another with such hostility and deceit while working so hard to appear sweet and innocent." (p. 58) I experienced this firsthand.
"Why are we trying to save everyone else's kids when we're losing our own?
The whole place was filled with hoodlums." A common mindset among some religious folk when it comes to outreach. Let's face it, outreach can be messy and inconvenient and some people are just not ready for that.
"...that's the problem with institutions, isn't it? The institution provides something more important than simply loving one another in the same way we've been loved. Once you build an institution together, you have to protect it and its assets to be good stewards. It confuses everything. Even 'love' gets redefined as that which protects the institution and 'unloving' as that which does not. It will turn some of the nicest people in the world into raging maniacs and they never stop to think that all the name-calling and accusations are the opposite of love." (p. 60)
"Every difference of opinion becomes a contest for power."
"We've had this underlying tension between people who think our fellowship is too ingrown and those who worry that bringing in a lot of new people will spoil what we have." (p. 61)
"When we're so afraid we can't make it without the institution, then right and wrong go out the window and the only thing that concerns us is our own survival."
"Religion survives by telling us we need to fall in line or some horrible fate will befall us." (p. 64)
"We even use things like 'doctrinal unity' to control people by stifling any disagreement." (p. 65)
"...truth has its time. If you tell someone the truth before they're ready to hear it, you can push them further away, no matter how well intentioned you might be." (p. 142)
"It made me wonder if this was why Jesus spoke in parables and metaphors--to help hungry people see without unnecessarily hardening those who were not ready." (p. 143)
"We are safe because he is with us, not because our circumstances are easy, and trying to get everyone to like you only made you less a person than God made you to be. When you started following what God put in your heart, the other kingdom had to collapse." (p. 148)
October 10, 2022
Don't let the title of this book scare you away! I came across this one haphazardly but now feel as though it was it was exaclty what I needed for a fresh prospective. I really enjoyed this book, it's a fairly simple read but I took it very slow as there is so much packed in here that makes you just say "Hmmm"💡. It has challenged my thoughts and way of thinking in many positive ways, opened my eyes to a lot and met me exactly where I'm at in my own personal struggles and have been for a long time. It was good, cheesy at times but the meat n potatoes of the book is really good! I'm giving it a 4 star simply due to a few theological issues but not anything I can't look over as just a difference in opinion.
June 24, 2025
The thing that kept me from giving this book a 5 star review was the authors portrayal of the church. While I understand where he is coming from and his motive in driving people closer to Father and not an institution, he walks a fine line and one that I can’t fully get behind. The rest of the book though? My goodness, it’s as though he has been a part of my own journey over the last five years, and has put words to things my heart has wrestled through. I cautiously recommend this book, with an awareness that instead of leaving me wanting to give up the institution of church, it has encouraged me to live out the differences I hope to see around me in church (and am already seeing in the place I’ve settled into and whole heartily call my church).
June 17, 2019
There is no reason to recommend this book. It is poor theology, poor use of scripture, poor psychology, poor sociology, need I go on? And of course, it thrives on moral relativism and triumph of ego mascaraing as theological insight. There are a few decent thoughts in the novel, but are so obscured by bad theology as not to make it worthwhile.
April 21, 2024
I REALLY tried to like it but just didn’t. Partly because I listened to the audiobook instead of reading (which I prefer). I persevered and finished it. There were some good viewpoints and thoughts but all in all, just “meh” for me.
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