There's something to be said for a book of poems that continues to call back its reader. I've read this book twice now and, while the writing still leaves me baffled and breathless, I can't ever seem to get this book out of my mind.
It's written in two parts, Toxicon, which was written during Joyelle McSweeney's pregnancy, and Arachne, which covers the birth, short life, and death of her daughter. The imagery in this collection is utterly mind blowing. The way she uses language to capture two such incredible experiences - pregnancy and loss of a child - is truly something I have never seen before. The words she chooses, the layouts of the poems, the line breaks all seem to instinctively capture the bodily and emotional experiences McSweeney has had.
There's one section in particular that stood out to me both times I read this book. I believe it's in part one, she includes a series of sonnets which all begin with the last line of the previous sonnet. I found myself wanting to not just mingle, but submerge myself in these sonnets for as long as the book would last. There was something jarring about seeing the last line of one poem cross over into the first line of the next poem that felt exactly like gestation. And not just the gestation of her daughter, but the gestation of the loss that would follow her birth. It's inspired me to play around with this in my own work, to see all of the places where my sonnets might take me.
It's hard to write this review because I have so many positive things I can say about this book, but I have to be honest and say that I only gave it 3 stars. Both times I read it, I landed at 3 stars. Because while this book truly is phenomenal and I'm sure I'll read it again, there were too many moments where I felt lost among its weeds. And while that might have been intentional, I found myself really struggling to ground myself in what was being said. To the point, that at times I had to skip the rest of a poem because I simply couldn't track what was being said.
Even as I'm writing this, I feel conflicted because I can see how the speaker might want the reader to be lost, even completely lost, throughout the entirety of the book. It seems like it probably mirrors the feeling of loss one has when they lose a child. But I never felt that my own wanderings through this book was really meant to accomplish anything or lead me anywhere specific. And it's not that it has to, either, just that by the time I finished the book, rather than feel overwhelmed by the writing and the emotional impact of her work, I felt more relieved that it was over. And I know it seems very self-centered, wanting someone else's writing to point back out to me in some way, but as an aspiring poet myself, this is one of the primary ways we revise our work: taking what starts out pointing at ourselves and finding ways of expanding the lens outward to include the reader.
Which, I suppose, is my primary critique of this work. The lens remains hyper-focused on the speaker and there are very few moments when I, the reader, am allowed to come into the experience with her. The writing itself is truly exquisite, and the visceral ways she looks at the body and pregnancy without almost ever using those words, is something that still takes my breath away. There's no cliche or tired language in her work at all. The imagery and the metaphors seem completely brand new and strange in the best of ways. And I commend McSweeney for writing about both her experience with pregnancy, and her experience of losing her daughter. These are subjects which are excruciatingly difficult to write about.
But I still have to give the book 3 stars because, in the end, there was too much of a disconnect. I was allowed to be a witness, but it felt almost begrudged, like I was imposing on her experience rather than being invited into it. And for me, that made the reading experience deeply uncomfortable.