Making Small Groups Work: What Every Small Group Leader Needs to Know

by Henry Cloud, John Townsend

Lead small groups through astounding growth with principles from the best-selling books How People Grow and Boundaries. No matter what need brings a group of people together—from marriage enrichment to divorce recovery, from grief recovery to spiritual formation—members are part of a small group because they want to grow. This book by psychologists Henry Cloud and John Townsend provides small-group leaders with valuable guidance and information on how they can help their groups to grow spiritually, emotionally, and relationally. With insights from their best-selling book How People Grow, Cloud and Townsend show how God’s plan for growth is made up of three key elements: grace plus truth plus time. When groups embrace those elements, they find God’s grace and forgiveness and learn how to handle their imperfections without shame as they model God’s love and support to one another. In addition to describing what makes small groups work, Leading Small Groups That Help People Grow explains the roles and responsibilities of both leaders and group members. Employing tenets from the book How People Grow, this book equips leaders to understand the ins and outs of how to promote growth, and using principles from their best-selling book Boundaries, they show how to identify and find solutions for common problems such as boredom, noncompliance, passivity, aggression, narcissism, spiritualization, over-neediness, over-giving, and nonstop talking.

Genres: Christian, Leadership, Church, Nonfiction, Christian Living, Relationships, Christianity

292 pages, Paperback

First published August 1, 2003

About the author

Dr. Cloud has written or co-written twenty-five books, including the two million-seller Boundaries. His most recent books are Boundaries for Leaders and Necessary Endings. He has earned three Gold Medallion awards, and was awarded the distinguished Retailers Choice award for God Will Make A Way.

As president of Cloud-Townsend Resources, Dr. Cloud has produced and conducted hundreds of public seminars around the country. He speaks on relationships—marriage, parenting, dating, personal growth, and spirituality. His seminars are often broadcast live to over two thousand venues at a time.

Reviews

[Vio Stoian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think this is a very good tool to start with and understand the whole picture of a small group.
Highly recommend it!

[Brent Soderstrum · Rating 3 out of 5]

I church organized small group leaders and had us read this book and discuss it on a bi-weekly basis. I think small groups are great and should be encouraged. This book, however, is written for someone who is looking to begin a small group, not for someone who has led a small group for over 18 years. Nothing new here. I wish I had this book to consult back when I was starting my men's group. When we began our group it was really hit or miss since there were no other small groups at our church at the time.

Certainly glad we started our men's group because it has been a blessing from God. I am moving and will look to get involved in a small group again.

[Jacob London · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am not a proponent of small groups and this book did not convince me to think otherwise. My favorite part of this book is when he quoted Calvin... But, if your church does have small groups they should read this book.

[Joshua Booher · Rating 2 out of 5]

The authors talk about established group techniques that I studied in graduate school. However, they do not go into depth, mention any of the research, or tie into bigger pictures. I was hoping this book would make me a better EfM mentor. In the end, I don't think it will.

[Kory · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is concerned with guiding a variety of faith-based small groups, and will probably offer some good nuggets of advice for any of them, but in its effort to be broadly applicable, will not give a very complete image of how to structure or lead any specific type of small group.

The best value in this book for me was found in the profiles in the last few chapters about problem-people, describing both their potential motives for selfish behavior and giving some suggestions of how to proactively and lovingly deal with it. Though a few of these felt very copy-pasted, others were very insightful for the common group leader.

Overall this just feels like a counseling screen applied to a small group template. So though it offers some useful advice, it doesn't really keep the rhythm of discipleship that I believe ought to be at the center of most Christian small groups. It also gives such an abundance of advice that it makes the concept of being a qualified group leader or member feel daunting or even inaccessible. As useful as the counseling tips are, I believe that the operation of the church is much simpler, and items of grace and repentance really can be worked out between the Church, the Spirit, and the Scriptures. The rest (including so much of this book) is icing on top.

I'm a Small Groups pastor and will pull some things out of this situationally or topically to lead group leaders through, but it won't change anything about the core values of our groups or the vision for the ministry. A decent tool in the kit.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very practical wise advice for anyone who leads a small group.

My takeaways:
Small groups (discipleship) are God's Plan A.

All relationships requires Truth+Grace+Time

Small Groups are the ministry of reconciliation, both to God and others.

In small groups we counter the results of the fall in the Garden of Eden. The fall caused:
1) Disconnected from God, the source of life
2) Alienation from fellow humans
3) Experience of shame, judgment, condemnation leading to performance and hiding.
We create a false self
4) Disobedience
"Doing what's right in our own eyes"
5) Loss of knowledge of God and his ways
6) Loss of control of ourselves which leads to trying to control others

Reverse the effects of the fall by:
1) Connect to the source of life
2) Reconnect through real relationships with God and others
3) Experience total grace, acceptance, and forgiveness (and the absence of shame, guilt and judgement)
4) Learn the value of obedience to God as the authority of all life
5) Learn God's ways and how to apply them to life's situations
6) Give control to God for the rest of life, but take control (responsibility) for myself

Celebrate when the effects of the fall are reversed in lives around you.

You cannot share what you don't own; you cannot give anything unless you have received it.

[Evan Hoekzema · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a great, in the trenches book for small group leaders. Being a small group leader you are thrust into leadership of a group of people who you often don’t know super well (yet), and are tasked with both helping them grow deeper in faith and community, while also addressing and stepping into all the dysfunction that people bring with them from life and their relationship with God. This book addresses key areas a Group Leader might encounter and some helpful how-to’s in order to handle them.

[Jen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cloud/Townsend's book Making Small Groups Work can be helpful for both small group novices and experienced leaders. The book provides overviews of large concepts (e.g., defining how your group will balance between the extremes of grace-focused and truth-focused groups) as well as specific dialogue to address group issues (e.g., "Joe, I notice that when you interrupt Sue..."). A must-read for any small group leader or trainer.

[Jon Chin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Practical "how-to" guide for many different situations for small group leaders. Focuses more on pastoral care and how to provide counsel and facilitate good small groups that will work toward prioritizing spiritual growth through relational growth (learn to love God by loving others, living in community).

However, this book does not address any spiritual truths of doctrines, deep biblical theology for small groups nor outline criteria for faithful potential small group leaders.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book seemed to be aimed at counseling groups, yet marketed toward small groups. Which was a bit confusing, but I actually felt really inspired that our groups could be more than just a bible study, they could actually be a bunch of little centers of transformation.

Still something I'm working on trying to figure out how to do it in real life, but it's been a worthwhile journey so far.

[Lavon Herschberger · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book comes across in the same way a 300 page authoritative guide to camping would: overwhelming and anxiety-inducing for those who have never camped before and boring and predictable for those who have. I did glean some helpful thoughts, especially on how to deal with problems that a small group may experience, such as narcissism. As a current small group leader, I valued and wrote down a page of helpful tips. I really appreciated the example responses to difficult situations. Like a typical psychologist, Cloud makes it look so easy.

This not a bad reference to skim-read or to have on your shelf, but in trying to be all things to all people, this book ends up alienating both novice and experienced small group leaders alike.

[Ricky Stephen · Rating 3 out of 5]

A helpful take on small group ministry, though the groups they outline sound far more therapeutic in nature.

A great resource book but a real drag to read—it amounts to lists of information not organized into any broader categories or themes.

Helpful to have kicking around, especially for the bits on what to do with groups in trouble.

[Shelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book has great content. However, as a family with children wanting to start small groups, it misses a huge piece - how to implement all of this with children. A lot of the book felt like explanations for a small group clinical experience rather than people living life together. Perhaps it is a difference in types of groups, but it appeared to miss the mark in a huge way for families.

[Kirk Weikart · Rating 3 out of 5]

A comprehensive guide to small group facilitation. The authors are extremely knowledgeable about the topics, and use real life examples. Warning: this book may be a bit overwhelming for new small group leaders.

[Brent Lenentine · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is very little of how to use the Bible in groups. Rather it deals with how to guide therapy groups for people with life problems. These groups are certainly needed but are not the norm. If you are looking for help in this area this book will definitely be a great help.

[Tom · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty good book on how small groups work and function. It dealt primarily with high-functioning growth-type groups. It had some good tips on dealing with people with traits who would tend to take over groups.

[Sándor Szabó · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very practical book, not only for small group leaders.

[Anna · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great tips for creating healthy and vibrant small groups.

[Eric · Rating 5 out of 5]

lots of helpful ideas abt small groups.

[Kris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good set of basic reminders, but very bullet point heavy and repetitive.

[Leslie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent resource for the ins and outs of leading and participating in small groups. I may eventually purchase this book.

[Shelley Vice · Rating 5 out of 5]

Helpful for leading my bible study! ESP when people don’t do there homework & are late! 💗

[Josiah Durfee · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you grow your small groups? Grace plus truth over time! Enjoyable-quick read.

[Sarah Grace Houy · Rating 4 out of 5]

really enjoyed!! So much to learn from this book and many applicable tips. Wish I would have read instead of an audio book so I could annotate lol. Definitely recommend

[Abigail Kerecz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great foundation of things to consider for your own small group as well as useful tips on group growth. Slightly repetitive at times, but overall a solid book

[Aleece Stallings · Rating 4 out of 5]

These men have some serious beef with someone named Joe.

[Matthew Wright · Rating 3 out of 5]

Definitely has some great insight for leading small groups but I felt the book was longer than it needed to be. I felt like a lot of the chapters could have been combined.

[Anna Bidondo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I would absolutely recommend this book to anyone interested in facilitating a Bible study or group of any sort.

[Efrain · Rating 3 out of 5]

Genial para grupos pequeños, está en Español y lo he mandado a pedir

[Jonathan Brooker · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a very helpful tool to the person who's looking to really analyze the way they are doing or will do small groups. It delves into the proper goals of a small group and the ways to encourage dialogue and process that will get them there.

There was a LOT that I took away from this book to train my leaders. However, this book was definitely and rather obviously written by psychologists. So whereas I was looking for more nuts and bolts, what they saw as practical nuts and bolts was much more hypothetical conversations that very often came to this: "Joe, why do you think you do *that* in our group? I'd like if we could talk about it." What I was looking for was a bit more discussion on the structure elements. Perhaps I just expected too much from one book.

However, this book did give a lot of wise advice on how to lead discussions and inevitably small groups that lead to the development of everyone in the group, including the leader. So, I still see it as an incredibly valuable resource that I'm glad I read!