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Were You Always an Italian?: Ancestors and Other Icons of Italian America
"One of the best books about the immigrant experience in America....unique and gracefully written."― San Francisco Chronicle Maria Laurino sifts through the stereotypes bedeviling Italian Americans to deliver a penetrating and hilarious examination of third-generation ethnic identity. With "intelligence and honesty" ( Arizona Republic ), she writes about guidos, bimbettes, and mammoni (mama's boys in Italy); examines the clashing aesthetics of Giorgio Armani and Gianni Versace; and unravels the etymology of southern Italian dialect words like gavone and bubidabetz . According to Frances Mayes, she navigates the conflicting forces of ethnicity "with humor and wisdom."
220 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2000
13 people are currently reading
165 people want to read
About the author
Maria Laurino
8 books26 followersMaria Laurino is the author of Old World Daughter, New World Mother: An Education in Love and Freedom (W.W. Norton, 2009) and Were You Always an Italian?, a national best-selling memoir about ethnic identity. A former chief speechwriter to NYC Mayor David Dinkins and a staff writer for the Village Voice, Laurino’s work has appeared in the New York Times, Washington Post, The Nation, Salon.com, and numerous publications. She also co-wrote, with Michael Imperioli, an episode in Season Four of The Sopranos. Her essays have been widely anthologized, including in the Norton Reader.
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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
December 31, 2020
So, if you specifically happen to be a third or fourth generation Italian American who grew up in the New York tristate area, then Maria Laurino’s Were You Always an Italian?: Ancestors and Other Icons of Italian America is a book I would most certainly recommend. My father, a third generation Italian American from the Bronx insisted I read it, and he has yet to give me a bad reading recommendation yet.
This book will appeal especially to anyone with Southern Italian heritage, which admittedly is the background of most Italians who left Italy for America. The struggles of that harsh pastoral land were enough to propel an entire generation to seek new opportunities abroad. Movement is at the heart of Italian America lore, a culture that is ever in flux. This was true for my family as well.
When my great-grandfather Dominico emigrated from Reggio Calabria, Italy to the United States in 1894, to say he had a hard time would be an understatement. He was cheated of all his money and stranded in Albany, having to hitchhike his way back to NYC. A generation later, his son (my grandfather) was nearly denied the ability to buy property in Westchester in the early 1900s because the seller was distrusting of the scary new Italian immigrants. But they kept moving forward (and in my grandpa’s case, presented the angry woman with his new baby boy who allegedly melted her bigoted heart).
At this point, it is absolutely worth noting that as the years changed, Italians began to “assimilate” in America. More than speaking “proper” English or dropping the vowels from their names, Dr. Nell Irvin Painter describes this change as an absorption into American whiteness in her book The History of White People. The “darkest” or “most ethnic” of white Europeans, Italians were still able to be absorbed into this racial category in ways that other immigrant groups simply were not.
So, what Maria Laurino offers with her book, is the unique perspective of someone who witnessed these key cultural shifts. She can remember the bigotry she experienced as being “ethnic” when she grew up, but then later vents her frustrations at how Italian Americans could then turn around and participate in racism themselves. She is also frustrated with the negative stereotypes of Italians that present the more “ethnic” components of our culture as dangerous, and blames this for why people have distanced themselves from some of the more authentic components of our heritage.
“Is it possible for Italian-Americans to see the past through a different lens, uncolored by the preconceptions and political agendas of others—but also freed from a false romanticism? Why do so many Italian-Americans insist on hearing only ‘nice stories’ about our heritage when the majority of our ancestors came from a land plagued by misery and sadness—in modern language, a dysfunctional past? Perhaps the pace of this ethnic group’s assimilation, which has been quicker than that of darker-skinned ‘others’ like Latinos and African-Americans, has led to an abandonment of the kind of acute intellectual reflection that these groups have engaged in as they attempt to understand their relationship to the past and their place within the larger culture.”
When writing about racial strife in Bensonhurst she also expands, “Residents don’t blame the Italian-American construction companies for demanding the cheapest labor; instead they bitterly complain that ‘the Mexicans’ are stealing their jobs.” It is as if the shame of being perceived as “weak” or “other” can prevent people from being able to empathize with their neighbors, preferring to identify with those they perceive as strong, even if those very exploitative forces are the true cause of their own injustice.
Overall, I think if you come from a background of struggle (and most every American does if you go back far enough) you ought to use your (or your family's) experiences to empathize with others currently facing injustice. I’ll never forget the day I found my grandma crying in her kitchen because she had heard another Italian American use a negative racial slur against a black person. Her shame at this person’s ignorance and lack of empathy was so startling and upsetting to her, that she had a hard time even processing it. She never forgot where she came from, and all I can do is continue to remember as well.
Reading this book brought back so many memories for me, I just couldn’t not recommend it.
This book will appeal especially to anyone with Southern Italian heritage, which admittedly is the background of most Italians who left Italy for America. The struggles of that harsh pastoral land were enough to propel an entire generation to seek new opportunities abroad. Movement is at the heart of Italian America lore, a culture that is ever in flux. This was true for my family as well.
When my great-grandfather Dominico emigrated from Reggio Calabria, Italy to the United States in 1894, to say he had a hard time would be an understatement. He was cheated of all his money and stranded in Albany, having to hitchhike his way back to NYC. A generation later, his son (my grandfather) was nearly denied the ability to buy property in Westchester in the early 1900s because the seller was distrusting of the scary new Italian immigrants. But they kept moving forward (and in my grandpa’s case, presented the angry woman with his new baby boy who allegedly melted her bigoted heart).
At this point, it is absolutely worth noting that as the years changed, Italians began to “assimilate” in America. More than speaking “proper” English or dropping the vowels from their names, Dr. Nell Irvin Painter describes this change as an absorption into American whiteness in her book The History of White People. The “darkest” or “most ethnic” of white Europeans, Italians were still able to be absorbed into this racial category in ways that other immigrant groups simply were not.
So, what Maria Laurino offers with her book, is the unique perspective of someone who witnessed these key cultural shifts. She can remember the bigotry she experienced as being “ethnic” when she grew up, but then later vents her frustrations at how Italian Americans could then turn around and participate in racism themselves. She is also frustrated with the negative stereotypes of Italians that present the more “ethnic” components of our culture as dangerous, and blames this for why people have distanced themselves from some of the more authentic components of our heritage.
“Is it possible for Italian-Americans to see the past through a different lens, uncolored by the preconceptions and political agendas of others—but also freed from a false romanticism? Why do so many Italian-Americans insist on hearing only ‘nice stories’ about our heritage when the majority of our ancestors came from a land plagued by misery and sadness—in modern language, a dysfunctional past? Perhaps the pace of this ethnic group’s assimilation, which has been quicker than that of darker-skinned ‘others’ like Latinos and African-Americans, has led to an abandonment of the kind of acute intellectual reflection that these groups have engaged in as they attempt to understand their relationship to the past and their place within the larger culture.”
When writing about racial strife in Bensonhurst she also expands, “Residents don’t blame the Italian-American construction companies for demanding the cheapest labor; instead they bitterly complain that ‘the Mexicans’ are stealing their jobs.” It is as if the shame of being perceived as “weak” or “other” can prevent people from being able to empathize with their neighbors, preferring to identify with those they perceive as strong, even if those very exploitative forces are the true cause of their own injustice.
Overall, I think if you come from a background of struggle (and most every American does if you go back far enough) you ought to use your (or your family's) experiences to empathize with others currently facing injustice. I’ll never forget the day I found my grandma crying in her kitchen because she had heard another Italian American use a negative racial slur against a black person. Her shame at this person’s ignorance and lack of empathy was so startling and upsetting to her, that she had a hard time even processing it. She never forgot where she came from, and all I can do is continue to remember as well.
Reading this book brought back so many memories for me, I just couldn’t not recommend it.
June 18, 2012
Laurino attempts to appropriate the Italian-American experience as a reflection of minority/ethnic experience in an odd way-- in that Italian is not considered 'ethnic' in contemporary terms, but still exists as an ethnic group that has not climbed the social ladder as quickly as other groups. However, her intraspection is a bit distracting from this analysis-- she speaks of her experiences as a third-generation Italian as though she is discriminated against in a upper-middle class Italin in a rich, white suburb, and it comes off painfully obtuse. She examines Italian culture, its fetishization, and attempts to disrupt the image of the homogenous Italian in a thorough way, but her constant return to herself and her meager experiences is a bit frustrating, as she attempts to reconcile her assimilation by over-announcing her 'ethnic' self. An interesting book that I really wanted to like, but Laurino tripped over her own experiences so much so to take away any greatness from her study.
January 16, 2008
A must read for any first, second, or third generation Italian-American.
August 23, 2020
It has always struck me as weird that the only group that could be joked about and openly stereotyped in the USA are Italian-Americans. (This prejudice, I think, even extends to dismissive and stupid remarks in general about the "irrationality" of the government in Italy.) And, of course, there have been people willing to make immense amounts of money out of the cliches. Just look at the Godfather movies.
Ms. Laurino's book both highlights the pain of being an ordinary or real Italian-American as well as the success that many Italian-Americans have achieved. The pain, of course, comes with the basic prejudice that Italian-Americans suffered as well as with the accompanying need to keep family life and ethnic community life private. As people move further from the days of their sainted immigrant grandparents and great-grandparents, the pain might come from what is now called micro-aggressions. The successes in professions, which must often came at great personal cost, required "buy in" to the prevailing culture. Other successes (in businesses like large construction companies) carry on to a degree the association of Italians with the soil and rocks.
I loved Ms. Laurino's discussion of the crazy contrasts in Italian-American culture -- the Armani types versus the Versace types, for example. I loved her connection of behaviors to the foundational peasant origins of most Italian-Americans -- never using new clothes or storing away fancy gift soaps. I loved the emphasis on the meticulous housekeeping and cooking. I loved how she describes her transitions to honesty -- that is, from appropriating northern Italian culture as personal history to acceptance of the sadness of the southern heritage. And I appreciated, though I wish it didn't exist, her discussion of the community in Bensohurst which presents another crazy, but tragic for many, contradiction.
Somehow, I'm not sure that anyone will ever truly capture the Italian-American sadness, neither Ms. Laurino nor anyone else. (Of course, I know zip about the scholarship on the topic.) It seems a helpless group that suffered degradation by others. It had the courage to go into the unknown, and the unknown was not particularly welcoming. The compromises, the self isolation, the inward turning had to have made a culture that was always a little uneasy and unsure of itself.
P.s. I wonder if the experience of this group creates a conservative Republican-style outlook. I am thinking in particular now of Justices Scalia and Alito on the US Supreme Court. This is just a thought and a question.
Ms. Laurino's book both highlights the pain of being an ordinary or real Italian-American as well as the success that many Italian-Americans have achieved. The pain, of course, comes with the basic prejudice that Italian-Americans suffered as well as with the accompanying need to keep family life and ethnic community life private. As people move further from the days of their sainted immigrant grandparents and great-grandparents, the pain might come from what is now called micro-aggressions. The successes in professions, which must often came at great personal cost, required "buy in" to the prevailing culture. Other successes (in businesses like large construction companies) carry on to a degree the association of Italians with the soil and rocks.
I loved Ms. Laurino's discussion of the crazy contrasts in Italian-American culture -- the Armani types versus the Versace types, for example. I loved her connection of behaviors to the foundational peasant origins of most Italian-Americans -- never using new clothes or storing away fancy gift soaps. I loved the emphasis on the meticulous housekeeping and cooking. I loved how she describes her transitions to honesty -- that is, from appropriating northern Italian culture as personal history to acceptance of the sadness of the southern heritage. And I appreciated, though I wish it didn't exist, her discussion of the community in Bensohurst which presents another crazy, but tragic for many, contradiction.
Somehow, I'm not sure that anyone will ever truly capture the Italian-American sadness, neither Ms. Laurino nor anyone else. (Of course, I know zip about the scholarship on the topic.) It seems a helpless group that suffered degradation by others. It had the courage to go into the unknown, and the unknown was not particularly welcoming. The compromises, the self isolation, the inward turning had to have made a culture that was always a little uneasy and unsure of itself.
P.s. I wonder if the experience of this group creates a conservative Republican-style outlook. I am thinking in particular now of Justices Scalia and Alito on the US Supreme Court. This is just a thought and a question.
June 17, 2018
Couldn't put it down! Gave me so much to think about and sympathize with. She is about ten years older than I am, and she grew up in New Jersey, as I did. I have that same sense of how different my life would have been if I'd grown up in Bensonhurst, as my father did. I moved from Bensonhurst to Middlesex County in NJ when I was six years old, and the other children asked me if my family were Mafia. This was in 1975! I particularly enjoyed the essays on the dialect in southern Italy. I definitely had those moments growing up in which I thought many of the words my parents used were just imaginary. For years, I didn't know how to spell "agita," until the word made it into the Merriam Webster's Collegiate dictionary.
May 17, 2020
I feel like I learned a lot about myself reading this.
I have never read the name Concettina in a book before! That's my maternal grandfather's mother's name. Grandma Tina. And it's Aunt Linda's real name.
It was such a pleasure to relate to so much of this. I grew up in NY so I wasn't the only Italian around, but still there were more Irish kids in my class than Italian. I also grew up in the 90's, not the 70's or 60's. Also I'm 4th gen, not 1st. But I still strongly related to this and look forward to reading her other books.
I have never read the name Concettina in a book before! That's my maternal grandfather's mother's name. Grandma Tina. And it's Aunt Linda's real name.
It was such a pleasure to relate to so much of this. I grew up in NY so I wasn't the only Italian around, but still there were more Irish kids in my class than Italian. I also grew up in the 90's, not the 70's or 60's. Also I'm 4th gen, not 1st. But I still strongly related to this and look forward to reading her other books.
September 25, 2023
Read and learn what lies beneath the historical stigmatization, stereotyping, and coercive mimetics of so many Southern Italians in the United States and how their many affinities and tensions with Af-Am communities in the US are rooted in the historic Northern-Southern divide in Italy (which today, intersects with heightened xenophobia despite the rich intercultural dynamism that characterized feudal, pre-nation Italy).
No one has managed to depict a more accurate and articulate narrative of Italian Americans than Laurino!
No one has managed to depict a more accurate and articulate narrative of Italian Americans than Laurino!
January 17, 2024
As a first generation Italian with roots in southern Italy, and growing up in New York, I found this book very relatable. I imagine more so if you are a woman reading this book. I also picked up about eight new words to add to my vocabulary. :-)
Hirsute among them.
Hirsute among them.
July 11, 2021
Interesting but lacking humor. How can one write about Italian Americanism and not include the humor. And not that much about food...kind of disappointing
February 6, 2013
Although Laurino set out to explore her ancestry and the impact that heritage on her life, her words spoke to me as well. Some of the recollections made me chortle while others caused great pain and sorrow. In essence our Italian ancestors who remained in southern Italy and stuggled for their daily survival were no less heroic than those that crossed the Atlantic in search of a new life in America. What captured my attention the most involved Laurino's suggestion that whether we have known our ancestors at all, we carry many commonalities through a shared bloodline. This would be a satisfying read for those who experienced some degree of an Italian upbringing in the early years.
November 8, 2016
I enjoyed this book very much. I am a 2nd generation Italian American and as I read this story, I could see glimpses of my maternal relatives who grew up echoing some of these same feelings and stories. Many moved out of the neighborhoods of NYC to the suburbs with the passing of another generation. What I came to realize finally was that there is a true difference between being Italian and being Italian American. In the US, being an Italian American was a hybrid of the two cultures and the food, culture and personalities are totally distinct. While reading this interesting story, I learned a lot about myself.
May 18, 2010
not what I was expecting nor looking for in a book. Nothing seems cohesive and there seems to be a lot of resentment towards Italian-Americans and shamefulness of Italians themselves. The author states that, as an Italian, it was a struggle to overcome the bad attributes associated with Italians during the '50s. It appears through her writing that she has not overcome these negative feelings although she states she has done so. Perhaps she has, but it my opinion, that does not show through in her writing.
November 11, 2010
Buku yang recommended banget buat yang suka dengan tema kehidupan multikultural dan liku-liku pergulatan batin keturunan imigran yang lahir dan tinggal di Amerika. Maria Laurino menceritakan bagaimana dia berusaha memahami segala sesuatu yang terkait dengan dirinya sebagai seorang Italian-American, dan perjalanannya mencari akar keluarga di bumi Italia.
Want to Read
January 21, 2008my heritage!!
December 10, 2010
Interesting look at Italian American culture Vs. Italy's culture. Would have liked more personal stories.
September 12, 2025
A book I have treasured for many years. Highly recommended especially if you have two Italian parents.
May 2, 2013
A fun read for anyone but especially those of us who hail from the Boot.
July 27, 2009
connecting with my heritage...
Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews