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Chet Gecko Mystery #7
The Malted Falcon
In these two wisecracking, sidesplitting mysteries from Chet Gecko's tattered casebook, the fourth-grade detective and his punning mockingbird partner, Natalie Attired, keep the peace at Emerson Hicky Elementary. In the first, the two sleuths blow the lid off a cheating ring in Mr. Ratnose's classroom, and in the second, they track down the winning ticket for the biggest, chocolatiest, most gut-busting dessert ever, the Malted Falcon. Danger has never been so delicious!
128 pages, Paperback
First published April 1, 2003
6 people are currently reading
71 people want to read
About the author
Bruce Hale
113 books133 followersA serious book addict, Bruce wanted to be a children's book author since he was in 4th grade (right after he got over wanting to be a pirate, Tarzan, and Daniel Boone). Today he's the author-illustrator of over 70 seriously funny books for kids, so some dreams do come true.
The Malted Falcon, one of his Chet Gecko Mysteries series, was an Edgar Award finalist, and Murder, My Tweet won a Little D Award for Juvenile Humor Writing. Bruce has written everything from picture books and easy readers, to graphic novels and novels.
Bruce's recent Monstertown Mysteries series blends horror and humor, based on his childhood love of monster movies. His other series include Class Pets, about the secret lives of classroom pets, and the forthcoming Outerspace Mystery Pizza Club books, due in 2024.
A Fulbright Scholar (in Storytelling), Bruce is also a popular speaker, both in the U.S. and internationally. He lives in Santa Barbara with his wife and knuckleheaded dog Riley. When he's not writing or reading, you may find him hiking, kickboxing, or singing with a latin-jazz band called Mezcal Martini.
The Malted Falcon, one of his Chet Gecko Mysteries series, was an Edgar Award finalist, and Murder, My Tweet won a Little D Award for Juvenile Humor Writing. Bruce has written everything from picture books and easy readers, to graphic novels and novels.
Bruce's recent Monstertown Mysteries series blends horror and humor, based on his childhood love of monster movies. His other series include Class Pets, about the secret lives of classroom pets, and the forthcoming Outerspace Mystery Pizza Club books, due in 2024.
A Fulbright Scholar (in Storytelling), Bruce is also a popular speaker, both in the U.S. and internationally. He lives in Santa Barbara with his wife and knuckleheaded dog Riley. When he's not writing or reading, you may find him hiking, kickboxing, or singing with a latin-jazz band called Mezcal Martini.
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
December 18, 2018
Chet Gecko, the rumpled PI of Emerson Hicky Elementary, solves a case involving a lost Valentine card and a stolen lottery ticket -- the prize in question being a weekly serving of the Malted Falcon, the gooiest, biggest, stickiest dessert ever. With his trusty sidekick Natalie Attired in tow, Chet tracks down the bad guys and fights off his sugar cravings.
And did I mention that Chet's a gecko -- as the surname might suggest -- while Natalie's a mockingbird and all the other staff and students at Emerson Hicky Elementary are talking animals?
The joy of this book lies less in the mystery, or even in the imaginative setting, than in the writing: this is Raymond Chandler done for ten-year-olds, including the oh-so-naughty fart jokes conspicuous by their absence from the Marlowe novels. I lost count of all the great Chandleresque one-liners, so here's just a single example:
This is Vol. #7 in a fifteen-strong series, but the first I've encountered; a normally quite sober crime-fiction blogger was raving about it. I grabbed the book because of the irresistible title (although, I confess, at first I thought it might be an allusion to Scotch -- even more irresistible). I rattled through it in an hour or so (it's very short), grinned a lot at the Chandlerisms, frowned at the fact that there's no artist credit for the rather good line illustrations.
Any decent children's library should have a bunch of books from this series, so you've really no excuse for not giving it a try. If need be, tell the librarian you're borrowing the book for your nephew.
And did I mention that Chet's a gecko -- as the surname might suggest -- while Natalie's a mockingbird and all the other staff and students at Emerson Hicky Elementary are talking animals?
The joy of this book lies less in the mystery, or even in the imaginative setting, than in the writing: this is Raymond Chandler done for ten-year-olds, including the oh-so-naughty fart jokes conspicuous by their absence from the Marlowe novels. I lost count of all the great Chandleresque one-liners, so here's just a single example:
In the shadow of the gymnasium, two cheerleaders swung a pair of jump [skipping] ropes. Two others skipped in and out and over in a pattern as complicated as a butterfly's bloomers.
This is Vol. #7 in a fifteen-strong series, but the first I've encountered; a normally quite sober crime-fiction blogger was raving about it. I grabbed the book because of the irresistible title (although, I confess, at first I thought it might be an allusion to Scotch -- even more irresistible). I rattled through it in an hour or so (it's very short), grinned a lot at the Chandlerisms, frowned at the fact that there's no artist credit for the rather good line illustrations.
Any decent children's library should have a bunch of books from this series, so you've really no excuse for not giving it a try. If need be, tell the librarian you're borrowing the book for your nephew.
July 1, 2019
It's the thing sweet tooth dreams are made of. The biggest, most chocolatitest, most gut-busting dessert ever imaged, and who ever has the winning ticket is set for life. The only problem, is someone has stolen the winning ticket, and Chet Gecko has been hired to find it. A lot of double talking, and double crossing will happen before Chet Gecko, and his partner Natalie Attired solve this caper.
April 18, 2009
Hilarity. I may give up adult books and just read Chet Gecko. If I were cooler, this review would be written in gumshoe.
January 30, 2018
It is apparent that the author has a lot of fun writing this series. the puns, the school-kid noir affectations, the whole bit.
This is the only book in this series I've read. I chose it because the first one wasn't available to me, and I've read the Maltese Falcon so I got to see if it was a "faithful adaptation."
Chet Gecko is a young gecko, obviously, who moonlights (recess-lights) as a detective, solving crimes that come up at his elementary school where he is a student. And the elementary school is comprised of all different anthropomorphic animals who retain some of their species's characteristics while playing down the differences in scale. It took me a few chapters to square all that away. Maybe there's some world building in the first book that would have been helpful.
Once I was able to orient myself, the mystery played out in fun, but straightforward fashion. I don't feel like I reread Dashiell Hammett's novel, but it cribbed some of the story beats and repackaged them in animal puns and cootie references.
The dedication page includes a thank you to a second grade class, which seems about right. 8 year old me would have really enjoyed this.
This is the only book in this series I've read. I chose it because the first one wasn't available to me, and I've read the Maltese Falcon so I got to see if it was a "faithful adaptation."
Chet Gecko is a young gecko, obviously, who moonlights (recess-lights) as a detective, solving crimes that come up at his elementary school where he is a student. And the elementary school is comprised of all different anthropomorphic animals who retain some of their species's characteristics while playing down the differences in scale. It took me a few chapters to square all that away. Maybe there's some world building in the first book that would have been helpful.
Once I was able to orient myself, the mystery played out in fun, but straightforward fashion. I don't feel like I reread Dashiell Hammett's novel, but it cribbed some of the story beats and repackaged them in animal puns and cootie references.
The dedication page includes a thank you to a second grade class, which seems about right. 8 year old me would have really enjoyed this.
June 10, 2018
Having studied both noir films in general and the Maltese Falcon in particular, I loved the book! It's full of noir conventions and references which kids are likely to chuckle at even if they don't appreciate them as much as an adult might. It's also full of hilarious similes and descriptions which work because it's a kids book and over-the-top detective noir; thoroughly enjoyed.
Sadly, this appears to be the only Chet Gecko book that our library has (and they are unlikely to buy more due to the age of publication).
Sadly, this appears to be the only Chet Gecko book that our library has (and they are unlikely to buy more due to the age of publication).
December 25, 2012
review of
Bruce Hale's The Malted Falcon
by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - December 25, 2012
I recently acquired 3 bks whose titles & plots are take-offs of previously existing bks: The Malted Falcon, Captains Outrageous, & Android Karenina. This called my attn to there now being, apparently, a whole genre of such bks. Yesterday, I got a copy of The Maltese Dog - thusly adding to the collection. Fully expecting these bks to be trashily derivative I've decided to read all 4 anyway & review them b/c I'm somewhat fascinated by the genre. Most, if not all, of them are kids bks.
The Malted Falcon is targeted to readers ages 8 to 12. The novel that it's a take-off of, Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon, is not only a personal favorite but, also, obviously, aimed at adults (although not in an x-rated way). Since I think that Hammett's both a great story-teller & a great prose stylist I was curious about how Hale wd handle his take-off & I have to admit that I think he did a fairly good job of keeping it both non-kid-traumatizing & still wackily in the spirit of the original - at least in terms of the wisecracks.
The Malted Falcon begins:
"I love a mystery - any kind of mystery. Like, if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more folks happy? And, if you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, why can't you pick your friend's nose?" (p vii)
I love that as a beginning! Not only does Hale frame it as a philosophical intro to the detective mind of his hero "Chet Gecko", but he playfully stimulates the etymological thinking. He implies that many people are ignorant & ends w/ a joking question. It sets the mood for what I think the best children's bks writers do: stimulate the minds of kids w/o necessarily threatening them, making it all playful.
Hale is full of puns that kids won't necessarily get but wch will help them appreciate them all the more as they learn their meaning. A character's name is "Dot Maytricks" (dot matrix, a type of printer - later revealed to 'really' by "Lili Pad"), another's is "Bert Umber" (burnt umber, the color: ""Sounds like a colorful character.""), "Zoomin' Mayta" (Zubin Mehta, the conductor). It goes on & on.
It was interesting for me to see how a kid's bk writer adapts adult mystery material by putting it into an Elementary School context - 'peopled' by non-human critters. Of course, the violence, slight as it is, is translated into low-level bullying & the like. Hale mimics & simplifies the mystery novel patois beautifully:
"I made to slip around him. Freddie blocked my path. I sized him up.
"He would never make the Rodent Hall of Fame. Freddie's bulging eyes flanked a nose that looked like it'd blow off with a stiff sneeze. His overbite concealed a chine so weak, the nose could've beaten it up.
"Freddie's skinny body twitched like a silkworm in a light socket. He looked familiar, but if we'd met before, I'd thankfully forgotten." (p 33)
All in all, I thought this was well-done &, no, I won't be reading more Chet Gecko stories - the "ages 8 to 12" thing is NOT for me. Still, I can safely say that this is 'kid-friendly' w/o being too stupid.
Bruce Hale's The Malted Falcon
by tENTATIVELY, a cONVENIENCE - December 25, 2012
I recently acquired 3 bks whose titles & plots are take-offs of previously existing bks: The Malted Falcon, Captains Outrageous, & Android Karenina. This called my attn to there now being, apparently, a whole genre of such bks. Yesterday, I got a copy of The Maltese Dog - thusly adding to the collection. Fully expecting these bks to be trashily derivative I've decided to read all 4 anyway & review them b/c I'm somewhat fascinated by the genre. Most, if not all, of them are kids bks.
The Malted Falcon is targeted to readers ages 8 to 12. The novel that it's a take-off of, Dashiell Hammett's The Maltese Falcon, is not only a personal favorite but, also, obviously, aimed at adults (although not in an x-rated way). Since I think that Hammett's both a great story-teller & a great prose stylist I was curious about how Hale wd handle his take-off & I have to admit that I think he did a fairly good job of keeping it both non-kid-traumatizing & still wackily in the spirit of the original - at least in terms of the wisecracks.
The Malted Falcon begins:
"I love a mystery - any kind of mystery. Like, if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more folks happy? And, if you can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, why can't you pick your friend's nose?" (p vii)
I love that as a beginning! Not only does Hale frame it as a philosophical intro to the detective mind of his hero "Chet Gecko", but he playfully stimulates the etymological thinking. He implies that many people are ignorant & ends w/ a joking question. It sets the mood for what I think the best children's bks writers do: stimulate the minds of kids w/o necessarily threatening them, making it all playful.
Hale is full of puns that kids won't necessarily get but wch will help them appreciate them all the more as they learn their meaning. A character's name is "Dot Maytricks" (dot matrix, a type of printer - later revealed to 'really' by "Lili Pad"), another's is "Bert Umber" (burnt umber, the color: ""Sounds like a colorful character.""), "Zoomin' Mayta" (Zubin Mehta, the conductor). It goes on & on.
It was interesting for me to see how a kid's bk writer adapts adult mystery material by putting it into an Elementary School context - 'peopled' by non-human critters. Of course, the violence, slight as it is, is translated into low-level bullying & the like. Hale mimics & simplifies the mystery novel patois beautifully:
"I made to slip around him. Freddie blocked my path. I sized him up.
"He would never make the Rodent Hall of Fame. Freddie's bulging eyes flanked a nose that looked like it'd blow off with a stiff sneeze. His overbite concealed a chine so weak, the nose could've beaten it up.
"Freddie's skinny body twitched like a silkworm in a light socket. He looked familiar, but if we'd met before, I'd thankfully forgotten." (p 33)
All in all, I thought this was well-done &, no, I won't be reading more Chet Gecko stories - the "ages 8 to 12" thing is NOT for me. Still, I can safely say that this is 'kid-friendly' w/o being too stupid.
April 21, 2012
Wisecracking fourth-grade detective Chet Gecko and his trusty partner, Natalie Attired, have to restore the peace at Emerson Hickey Elementary yet again. This time, the stakes are high: a winning ticket for the Malted Falcon--the most yummy, scrumptious, gut-busting dessert ever--has gone missing, and it's up to Chet and Natalie to find it.
This is the first Chet Gecko book I've read, and I loved it! I picked this one up because it's the children's companion to my Library's Big Read selection, The Maltese Falcon, this year. I think it was the perfect choice, not only because it's (loosely) based on Dashiell Hammett's classic. The characters are likable, the pictures are fun, and it just cracked me up. It's really silly--don't read this book if you don't like puns!--but it worked for me.
This is the first Chet Gecko book I've read, and I loved it! I picked this one up because it's the children's companion to my Library's Big Read selection, The Maltese Falcon, this year. I think it was the perfect choice, not only because it's (loosely) based on Dashiell Hammett's classic. The characters are likable, the pictures are fun, and it just cracked me up. It's really silly--don't read this book if you don't like puns!--but it worked for me.
April 6, 2010
This book was good well not an awesome book. It was sort of weird to read because the lizard doesn't like girls he isn't gay or anything he just finds girls yucky and has cooties which is weird because i think he is in 5th grade and he finds girls nasty. Which is not really cool for me, because it's girls like all boys especially me dont find girls anything weird or nasty.
This book was good it involved love which was weird for me to read but i like the part when a girl asked him to the dance he said yes them when she asked if he was serious he said when pigs can fly. I was laughing a lot it was very funny. I liked how he is not afraid of no stronger animal he speaks his mind.
This book was good it involved love which was weird for me to read but i like the part when a girl asked him to the dance he said yes them when she asked if he was serious he said when pigs can fly. I was laughing a lot it was very funny. I liked how he is not afraid of no stronger animal he speaks his mind.
April 29, 2015
My 12-year old English major son loves this series, even though he has no idea of the original titles or even the genre on which they are loosely based. In his own words, he loves "the excellent wordplay, they are chockfull of action, and they can be read over and over and still be funny."
He even laughs after I explain the titles and some of the names. (Is "Bosco Rebizzi" based on anything? Boxcar busy? Boss Scar?) I read one, as a bonding experience with my son, but that's all my contract requires. The titles are very amusing.
He even laughs after I explain the titles and some of the names. (Is "Bosco Rebizzi" based on anything? Boxcar busy? Boss Scar?) I read one, as a bonding experience with my son, but that's all my contract requires. The titles are very amusing.
October 26, 2009
3.5 stars. I thought it was a lovely linguistic, stylistic, and scene-stealing interpretation of the original "Maltese Falcon" by Dashiell Hammett. I just didn't enjoy some of the snot jokes, the wise "crack" butt joke, etc. If I was in grade school, I'd like it just a bit more, though, and that's what ultimately matters. Its a funny, smart book and many (nine to eleven year-old) kids would really enjoy it.
August 8, 2009
This was the first Chet Gecko book that I had to wait for it to come out--and it was worth it!! One of my top three Chet books, I remember this one having an excellent plot and being one of the funnier ones, as well. It always seemed to be more "special" than the rest of the books, because I'd waited for it and made it last once Amazon delivered it.
October 12, 2011
Someone is assualting Chet Gecko in this story, Chet Gecko is tring to find the writer of this letter and his partner is helping this detective to solve the mystery
I like how Chet Gecko talks in the book and that's why I kept reading and I want to find out who is the criminal at the end of this book
I like how Chet Gecko talks in the book and that's why I kept reading and I want to find out who is the criminal at the end of this book
April 7, 2014
Chet Gecko is a fourth grade crime solver. Dot Maytricks, a frog, asks him to take a case. Dot said her sister gave Bert Umber a Valentine, and she wants it back. Chet also agrees to take another case, to find a ticket for a year’s supply of Malted Falcon deserts. Can Chet solve the case before the day is over and the ticket expires? Read The Malted Falcon to find out!
October 10, 2012
This book would be great for lower level readers... if it was easy to read. The wording and attempts at witty humor is too far above my low lever readers. So it's too hard for the kids that need to read it and too boring for the kids that don't. Oh well.
March 12, 2008
to mushy lots of romance
November 25, 2008
Similies and word play are fun and all...but every other sentence?
April 25, 2009
This was the first book in this series that I have read. It was selected for the Little Read (in conjuction with the Big Read)this May and we are having Chet Gecko parties for the children.
July 28, 2009
i learn that dectetive does a lot in this vbook and they find evrything out
October 8, 2009
One of my favorites. And I bought the cover art off Brad. Yeeeah!
October 5, 2010
One of my favorite series as a kid.
April 9, 2016
I do not like romantic so when that was through, nasty, EEUGGGHHH, and seriously, that big bird is really big.
July 26, 2012
I read it years ago...it was fine.
August 18, 2016
This series is so much fun, especially for noir fans!
Read
December 19, 2018Nostolgic reread.
CUUUUUTE. maybe this is why I'm so sarcastic now.
CUUUUUTE. maybe this is why I'm so sarcastic now.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews