Loooong review, so....
I’m not sure how to rate this book. By the end, I just felt really frustrated and mentally drained. I feel like this really shows what goes down when two people with deep unresolved issues and insecurities end up together.
The MCs exhaust the ever-loving crap out of me, and I swear I've lost a lot of hair from all the pulling I've done with their constant back and forth. Besides their serious baggage, what really messed up their marriage was all the miscommunication, misunderstandings, and the endless wrong assumptions they had about each other. I just wanna scream at them, like, why can't you just talk to each other?!
Anyway, into the story, Thomas and Abigail have been married for seven years but have been separated for more than a year at the present time. They're still married, but they're living apart while they work on fixing their marriage. In the first year, they kept going to marriage counseling, but it just didn’t seem to help, and the distance between them kept growing. So, Abigail thought it might be a good idea to take a six-month break before giving it another shot. Even though they took a break, they still see each other since they have a daughter and need to keep in touch.
Tbf, they both made mistakes at the beginning of their marriage.
Thomas really acted like a jerk since he was just an insecure manchild for the most part of their married life. He said that he wasn't sure how to handle anything else besides his job as a doctor. He feels pretty lucky that Abigail picked him, and he really wants her to rely on him for everything, even though that's not the healthiest mindset.
Abigail views her marriage as an opportunity to pursue her dreams and rebuild the self-confidence that her father, a pastor, has diminished over the years. She’s got her fair share of insecurities too, and she’s really working on managing them better. But honestly, Thomas hasn’t been much help with that for years.
He showed no support when she found a job she wanted to apply for. He didn't like the idea of her having independence, but that's his insecurities doing the thinking for him. He thought if she found a job, she would realize she could do things on her own, and she wouldn't need him anymore. Then when she got the position (assistant), he treated it like it was Abigail's hobby and not a real profession. He thinks his job is way better than hers and told her she didn't have to take her job seriously. When she expressed her disapproval of him spending time with his female coworkers (nurses), he dismissed her concerns, claiming he couldn't cope with her constant insecurity (pot meets kettle). He's faithful to her, no doubt about that. However, the way he handled her concerns was freaking unacceptable. Then when Abigail attempted to spice things up with their intimacy, he consistently rejected her, preferring to remain in his office and concentrate on his work. To make matters worse, he never dedicates time to their daughter, as his job consumes his entire existence. If I'm being honest, he treats his wife and child as mere afterthoughts.
Like I said, they were both at fault. The insecurities caused by her father make Abigail doubt a lot of things. She thinks she's not good enough and that Thomas might get tired of her one day and eventually leave her. She wanted to have a different kind of marriage than her parents, and she wants to have an equal partner. But she wouldn't communicate that with Thomas and would tend to go with whatever he wants. I think the years of neglect grew into resentment, and that's why she finally had enough.
She left him but said if he's willing to work on it, she'll be with him every step of the way. Hence why they were apart for more than a year now, because they were still mending their marriage.
The first 67% was all about them hanging out as a family for their daughter and for Thomas to show that he's finally making some changes and recognizing the mistakes he made in the early years of their marriage. This also shows that Abigail is finally starting to feel the independence she's been looking for since they got married.
At the present time they were still on the break, and Thomas and Abigail ended up in a car accident just as they were about to pick up their daughter from Thomas' mom's place. So, this accident ended up being the reason Thomas lived with them for the next three weeks, lending a hand to Abigail with her daily tasks as much as he could.
You'd think that after all that time together, they'd have some real talks about what’s going on with them. But they still steer clear of having real conversations. It seems like they really began to open up around the 67% mark, and then at the 77% mark, they were on board with taking things slow again. Only for Abigail to spiral and decide to end things with them permanently (or so she thought).
It was definitely a slow burn, and honestly, it really annoyed me every time they stayed over and slept together while hardly addressing their marriage and issues. I think it's really important for them to fully grasp where things went off track in their marriage before they dive into physical intimacy again.
But, tbf, Thomas showed he did change (a bit, imo); he now spends time with their daughter, Mia, and even goes to family dates and does not answer every hospital call. It's actually sad to read when Mia asked him every time whether he'd finally stay and won't leave her. I guess, with that kind of question, you'd probably get the idea of how he treated her before they started living separately. But like I said, he has been a more present parent in his daughter's life now.
As with Abigail, he started to become more romantic with words and gestures. He consistently tells her that he loves her and wants to make their marriage work. In short, he's not a jerk anymore. He also shows appreciation for her job when he realizes how much that means to her.
Then again, I still wasn't satisfied with how it was shown how they work on their issues. They started waaaay too late in the story, although they've been fixing this for months now. A huge part of the book centers around Abigail pushing Thomas away because she's afraid to give him another shot. It's always one step forward, ten steps back with her. I wish I could blame her entirely, but I can't do that. Her dad really knocked her confidence down a peg, and the way Thomas treated her over the years just piled on the hurt. I get why she's feeling hesitant, but it really frustrates me because I just want to see them make it work. 😭
But of course, at the end of the day, she finally got her act together at the 90% mark, and that’s when they really decided to give the marriage a real shot. They reunited, sure, but it felt rushed and inauthentic. I need more, more of what? I don't have a freaking clue. But what can I do? This is how it was written, so I guess I'll just have to suck it up.
Anyway, it wasn't an entirely bad read. I just expect more angst, I guess, when it comes to marriage-in-peril stories. And this just didn't do it for me, but it might work for others, though. 🤷♀️
Book info:
- Marriage in crisis
- Dealing with insecurities
- Car accident
- Christian influence
- Slowburn
- Open door/Explicit
- No cheating, OW
- OMD (not really, see notes)
- Dual V (both raised from Christian families)
- Separation (see notes)
- HEA (they got back together and are planning to have another baby)
Notes:
- OMD. Abigail's boss is interested in her, and she goes to some events with him. But she only sees him in a professional manner and nothing more.
- They're living apart for more than a year now while fixing their marriage.