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96 pages, Hardcover
First published April 2, 2010
A man's muteness runs through this riot that is my sentence.
I am concerned here with the face and hands and snout.
All surface stream dark circumstance of utterance.
What can I escape?
Am I also trying to return?
Not the private bucket, not the 7,000 griefs in the bucket of each cold clammy word.
But just as strongly I willed myself towards this neutrality.
I have not loved enough or worked.
What I want to do here is infiltrate sincerity.
I must speak of what actually happens.
Could it be terrible then?
I find abstraction in monotony, only an object, falling.
Gradually the tree came to speak to me.
I heard two centuries of assonance, and then rhyme.
Had I the choice again, I'd enter whole climates superbly indifferent to abstraction.
I saw amazing systems that immediately buckled.
Here I make delicate reference to the Italian goddess Cardea who shuts what is open and opens what is shut.
I conceive of an organ slightly larger than skin, a structure of inhuman love minus nostalgia or time.
Honeysuckle, elder, moss, followed one another like a sequence of phrases in a sentence, distinct, yet contributing successively to an ambience that for the sake of convenience I will call the present.
I experienced a transitive sensation to the left of my mind.
I am concerned here with the face and hands and snout.
[...]
The women is itself not a content
It is an unwavering faith in the fictional
Because they don't exist
This work was made under the auspices of opulence
In incandescent occidental forest
In soft pale-green medium-sized notebook
(titled Many Notes Towards an Essay on Girls, Girlhood)
In the coolness descending from trees at night
Mainly I wanted the phoneme to spread around me like a sea
I walked beside the absence of
Then one had encountered oneself by leaving
And this posed the basis of a rhythm
As for the theology of certainty
The wrongness is philosophical.
[...]
You step from the bus into a sequencing took that is moist and carries the scent of quince
You move among the eight banner-like elements and continue to the edges of either an object or a convention
And in Cascadia also
As in the first line of a nursery rhyme
Against cyclic hum of the heating apparatus
You're resinous with falsity
It's autumn
Which might be tent-scented or plant-scented
Their lands and goods, their budgets and gastronomy quicken
You want to enter into the humility of limitations
Coupled with exquisite excess
You walk in the green park at twilight
You read Lucretius to take yourself toward death, through streets and markets
In a discontinuous laboratory towards foreignness
You bring his prosody into your mouth
When you hear the sound of paper
[...]
It is always the wrong linguistic moment
So how can I speak of sex?
One's own places realism in doubt
But now I want only the discretion of realism
I can't say it any more clearly than this
Philosophers taught me a conversion narrative
How the 4 elements change into each other by flattering
I think of them or meet with them in reading
On Oct. 2 showing their vanity and falsehood
With the frontispiece of him in laurel-crown
The room runs to swags
And popular flower pornography
The house amplifies the trembling as if its inhabitants are lodged in an ear
To make something from what I am
From proximity, bitterness
Is just brutal
So I turned to syllables
And if I degenerate into style
It's because I love it very much
All week long
Like a first thing
Like a technique or a marriage
Where conditions are incomprehensible
Thus satisfying the narrative of the body
Intentionally tawdry and valueless
And this is a recurrent pleasure
Because it gushes it's painterly
[...]
In the Spring of 1979
Some images have meanings, and some have a change in soul, sex or century.
Rain buckles into my mouth.
If pressed to account for strangeness and resistance, I can't.
I'm speaking here for dogs and rusting ducts venting steam into rain.
I wanted to study the ground, the soft ruins of paper and the rustling things.
I discover a tenuous utopia made from steel, wooden chairs, glass, stone, metal bed frames, tapestry, bones, prosthetic legs, hair, shirt cuffs, nylon, plaster figurines, perfume bottles and keys.
I am confusing art and decay.
Elsewhere, fiction is an activity like walking.
Any girl who reads is already a lost girl.
[...]
Though my object is history, not neutrality
I am prepared to adhere to neither extreme
That which can no longer be assumed in consciousness becomes insolvent
Because it doesn't finish I can be present
So I decide to speak of myself, having witnessed sound go out
Fear is not harmful, bu illuminates the mouth
I am not qualified to comment on the origins of the shapes
The archive pivots on a complicity neither denial nor analysis can efface
It is not true, it shines from your face
Against the hot sun that hits us, nothing's peace
And pairs cannot absorb one another in meaning effects
Go backward and forward and there is no place
This is the border - nothing further must happen
The spurious clacking of grass is a dry spell in though but not abstract
Just as in dreams there is no limit to further over-determination
I do not wish to enter into that discussion
Memory's not praise or doubt
It is not a substitution, since there is no prior point
There is no limit to its capacity, nothing that it shall not create
I do not in any way wish to escape.
[...]