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Eat, Pray... Mord
Johnny
Einmal im Jahr wirft Johnny einen Pfeil auf eine Karte und fährt in Urlaub. Um Sehenswürdigkeiten zu erkunden ... Um neue Gerichte zu probieren... ...und brutal Menschen zu töten. Was könnte besser sein als eine Woche Blutrausch und Gemetzel, um die Langeweile des restlichen Zeit des Jahres auszugleichen? Dieses Jahr ist Seoul in Südkorea das Ziel seiner besonderen Urlaubsplanung, und es wird großartig werden.
Special Agent Dina Carver
Dina Carvers Aufgabe ist es, örtlichen Behörden dabei zu helfen, Amerikaner zu fassen, die im Ausland Verbrechen begehen. Sie ist einem erbarmungslosen Serienmörder auf der Spur, der in seinem Kielwasser eine blutige Spur rund um den Globus hinterlassen hat. Wie viele Menschen müssen noch sterben, bevor sie ihn eingeholt hat? Und wenn sie ihn findet, was dann? Dann wird es ein Blutbad geben.
Mit Reiselust gibt es Crowley Barns in voller Romanlänge. Dieses Buch bietet all die Spannung, irren Wendungen und Verdorbenheit, die die Leser von Crowley Barns bereits kennen. Und natürlich ist wieder ein Crowley-WTF-Ende zu erwarten. Lasst euch überraschen.
EXTREME HORROR-GESCHICHTE. Diese schräge Geschichte enthält rohe Gewalt und Splatter/Gore. Sie sind hiermit vorgewarnt.
Johnny
Einmal im Jahr wirft Johnny einen Pfeil auf eine Karte und fährt in Urlaub. Um Sehenswürdigkeiten zu erkunden ... Um neue Gerichte zu probieren... ...und brutal Menschen zu töten. Was könnte besser sein als eine Woche Blutrausch und Gemetzel, um die Langeweile des restlichen Zeit des Jahres auszugleichen? Dieses Jahr ist Seoul in Südkorea das Ziel seiner besonderen Urlaubsplanung, und es wird großartig werden.
Special Agent Dina Carver
Dina Carvers Aufgabe ist es, örtlichen Behörden dabei zu helfen, Amerikaner zu fassen, die im Ausland Verbrechen begehen. Sie ist einem erbarmungslosen Serienmörder auf der Spur, der in seinem Kielwasser eine blutige Spur rund um den Globus hinterlassen hat. Wie viele Menschen müssen noch sterben, bevor sie ihn eingeholt hat? Und wenn sie ihn findet, was dann? Dann wird es ein Blutbad geben.
Mit Reiselust gibt es Crowley Barns in voller Romanlänge. Dieses Buch bietet all die Spannung, irren Wendungen und Verdorbenheit, die die Leser von Crowley Barns bereits kennen. Und natürlich ist wieder ein Crowley-WTF-Ende zu erwarten. Lasst euch überraschen.
EXTREME HORROR-GESCHICHTE. Diese schräge Geschichte enthält rohe Gewalt und Splatter/Gore. Sie sind hiermit vorgewarnt.
- GenresHorror
226 pages, Paperback
Published October 31, 2022
122 people are currently reading
195 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews
May 6, 2025
Hot damn that was nasty. Whether it’s Crowley Barns, Warren Barns, or a joint effort, their books always have a wonderful, ugly, and horror-laden je ne sais quoi. This story follows two different paths, one of our token serial killer, and the other of a pursuing FBI agent. Their paths eventually meet in a twist that I didn’t see coming, and the entire ending pulled all the loose ends together in a very creative way. Now as we follow our main character, who I guess we can just call Johnny Bloodlust, that was the highlight here. He has these sick, murderous challenges from an unknown source that he must complete each day while on his annual two week vacation. And the internal monologues we get from him are fantastic. Barns nailed how sick this gentleman really is. We don’t get much background on him, and he’s not just some tortured, miserable soul who kills to avenge his childhood or whatever else. He just likes the challenge and experience of it all. So there are times he is jokey, whereas other times he’s dead serious and uncomfortably nasty, and even insightful once or twice. But it’s a great time to be in his mind as he progresses through the story. So this was a fun story, and is just a solid book by a solid author.
September 18, 2018
I'm having difficulty deciding on a rating - for now it is 3.5 stars...
It was an interesting book, super violent, quite gory and fairly inventive - absolutely extreme. However, I was 34% into this book when I figured out the twist.
So here is the question:
Let's take a hypothetical scenario.
Somebody wants to tell you a joke. It's a very funny joke, most people who have heard it will tell you so, but about a third of the way through the joke you think of the punchline. It doesn't mean the joke is not funny, it could be one of the funniest things ever said, but you didn't enjoy it as much as everybody else.
Here's what you can expect:
Johnny goes on vacation once a year. With notes and assignments from The Boss, he will brutally kill for a week while overseas - in this case, Seoul, South Korea.
Imagine Patrick Bateman from AMERICAN PSYCHO telling his story to earn bragging rights
Special Agent Gina Carver of the FBI is tracking this killer across the world. With little to go on and very little assistance from local law enforcement, will she be able to catch up to him before his vacation is over?
---------------------------------------
This story is not for people who shies away from violence and gore, there is an abundance of both.
It was an interesting book, super violent, quite gory and fairly inventive - absolutely extreme. However, I was 34% into this book when I figured out the twist.
So here is the question:
Let's take a hypothetical scenario.
Somebody wants to tell you a joke. It's a very funny joke, most people who have heard it will tell you so, but about a third of the way through the joke you think of the punchline. It doesn't mean the joke is not funny, it could be one of the funniest things ever said, but you didn't enjoy it as much as everybody else.
Here's what you can expect:
Johnny goes on vacation once a year. With notes and assignments from The Boss, he will brutally kill for a week while overseas - in this case, Seoul, South Korea.
Imagine Patrick Bateman from AMERICAN PSYCHO telling his story to earn bragging rights
Special Agent Gina Carver of the FBI is tracking this killer across the world. With little to go on and very little assistance from local law enforcement, will she be able to catch up to him before his vacation is over?
---------------------------------------
This story is not for people who shies away from violence and gore, there is an abundance of both.
December 16, 2023
Cat and Mouse…… Cops and Robbers….. On the Run!
This one was a lot of fun! I went into this one blind and I’m so glad I did. What would a serial killer get upto on vacation? Well…….. a whole lot of gruesome, gory, depraved things, thats what! Now this one ends on a twist, some reviews say they saw the twist coming, I can see how but only when I got to the end, I can honestly say I did not put the pieces of the puzzle together until the end, which probably may my reading experience so much more fun!
LOL………… Laugh Out Loud? Or Lots Of Love? For me it’s always Laugh Out Loud, which to be fair I was tempted to a few times in this book as along with the nasties it has quite a few humorous, sometimes sarcastic humour parts in the book.
This one was a lot of fun! I went into this one blind and I’m so glad I did. What would a serial killer get upto on vacation? Well…….. a whole lot of gruesome, gory, depraved things, thats what! Now this one ends on a twist, some reviews say they saw the twist coming, I can see how but only when I got to the end, I can honestly say I did not put the pieces of the puzzle together until the end, which probably may my reading experience so much more fun!
LOL………… Laugh Out Loud? Or Lots Of Love? For me it’s always Laugh Out Loud, which to be fair I was tempted to a few times in this book as along with the nasties it has quite a few humorous, sometimes sarcastic humour parts in the book.
September 13, 2021
Maybe this is the kind of vacay I need. A nice murder spree getaway.. lol. Not really.. I knew what was happening before the end, but that didn't take away from enjoying this read
July 29, 2022
Ever wonder what a serial killer does on vacation? This book was insane.... This story was kinda told in the first person and it was a gory brutal read... This was like if Patrick Bateman from American Psycho went on vacation😆😆 I really enjoyed this My only real reason for the 4 stars is because I saw the ending coming but still it was a fast paced gory read that I flew through. If you like your kills mixed with dark humor this one is for you.
August 21, 2018
A great blood-soaked story.
If you're a fan of gore, read this book. Awesome kills, an unusual location (Korea), and a great ending. Loved it!!
If you're a fan of gore, read this book. Awesome kills, an unusual location (Korea), and a great ending. Loved it!!
August 18, 2018
Very gory but a well thought out plot.
October 29, 2019
I like our lead's droll humor and fine sense of irony. Seems like a gregarious chap too - one you can easily get along with until he butchers you as his next victim, that is. You see, he has to accomplish certain "tasks" from a shadowy figure, and it's up to an intrepid (if pregnant) FBI agent to stop our vacationer from spreading terror in the Korean peninsula.
There is a neat twist that becomes pretty evident the closer you get to the climax. It does mask a pretty big plot hole. Anyway, the last chapter is quite a revelation, and all but promises more delights to come.
This is the best Barns book that I've read yet. I'm rating it 7.5/10 or 4 stars out of 5.
There is a neat twist that becomes pretty evident the closer you get to the climax. It does mask a pretty big plot hole. Anyway, the last chapter is quite a revelation, and all but promises more delights to come.
This is the best Barns book that I've read yet. I'm rating it 7.5/10 or 4 stars out of 5.
September 19, 2019
Most annoying killer ever.
I'm sure the author meant the killer to be witty and funny, but I found him to be just plain annoying. He is the type of guy that you just want to punch in the face whether you know he is a killer or not.
I'm sure the author meant the killer to be witty and funny, but I found him to be just plain annoying. He is the type of guy that you just want to punch in the face whether you know he is a killer or not.
October 1, 2018
Vacationers is described on its cover as “A Tale of Extreme Horror.” This should be enough of a warning to give a reader with any sensitivities enough of a warning not to read this novel. I found little in the way of weird sexual description. A reader will not be put off by non-relevant passages describing gratuitous sex. The novel was written by the Barns Brothers with specific mention of Crowley Barns. Say that name over and over a few times. Vary the possible pronunciations. Did anyone come up with “crawly” as in slithering things? And crawly things that inhabit barns? But maybe I am reading too much into it. At any rate, this is a very weird book with lots of really weird violence. You have been warned.
Johnny Bloodlust (Really?? Who picks these names?) is going on vacation. He plans his vacations in a rather sloppy manner by using a world map and a dart. It doesn’t matter where the dart lands. He will go there. Why select a target a year in advance? This gives him time to pick up rudiments of the language and important cultural points. He doesn’t want to be noticed or stand out in a crowd as he goes about his hobby, killing people based on customized instructions from his boss. Johnny may wing it a bit as far as his vacation plans but his boss has carefully planned the kills that Johnny will perform each day of his allotted two-week vacation allowance.
Targets are not selected based on their worthiness to die. Revenge is not an issue. Johnny’s boss supplies him with several envelopes, one for each day. Johnny is to open one per day and select his victims based on instructions from his boss. One day the select menu might tell Johnny to commit a massacre. Another day there might be an instruction to make sure the victim dies by falling from a great height. Johnny just loves to kill and he appreciates the daily prompts from his boss. With only a prompt, Johnny is free to select a victim and be as creative as he wants.
Johnny has been doing this for years and his activities have not gone unnoticed by the FBI. There is even a special task force led by Special Agent Dina Carver. Her team is made up from local law enforcement of whatever country she is working in. For this novel, Johnny went to South Korea. Dina was aware of his choice. She arrived on scene perhaps a few steps behind Johnny. She immediately liaised with South Korean police officers so that she could hire a translator and ask for a team of detectives to help her. After getting past the usual resentments by local police of having foreign investigators foisted on them, Dina was able to acquire a capable, handsome, seductive translator/interpreter and two detectives whose main function was to imbibe alcohol at all hours of the day in any situation.
Dina is constantly checking with her home base trying to anticipate Johnny’s next kill. She mobilizes her team each day to investigate crimes and see if any of them could be linked to Johnny. Of course, she is always a few steps behind and Johnny is a very skillful assassin. The reader will be treated to some very weird staged murder scenes. So why is this novel not simply offensive? Because of the humor. Just as there are twisted violent scenes, there are a few “I-am-shocked-I-am-laughing-at-this scenes.” It is dark humor, gallows humor, and the type of humor cops banter about to relieve stress in unusual situations. I was a cop. Military careerists are in a similar situation. I retired from a career in the military. From this, I had the reaction of shock at some of the things I was laughing at. I was fascinated.
Here is a sample of the kind of humor that pops up between depictions of a kill. It is not as funny as when it is in context and unexpected, but this gives you an idea. Johnny is in a market in South Korea. His daily instructions have told him to kill a butcher who deals in dog meat. There are several of these, it will be Johnny’s choice. As he is surveying the market, Johnny becomes reflective:
“Taking in another sweeping view I felt so alive, so vibrant. I got one of those feelings — you’ll know the one I mean — where I kind of wished I had a samurai sword and I could just charge through, carving people up, slicing and dicing them, stabbing and charging and needling and gouging them. Slash Stab Slice Slash The market just had that kind of energy, you know?” (p.99).
As much as I liked the story, there were a few surprises and the off-beat humor was entertaining, I assigned an overall rating of only three stars. The humor intertwined with depictions of horror gives off a sense of acceptance of horrible acts if only the humor in those acts could be appreciated. From my experiences, in more violent professions I understand the purpose of dark humor as people try to rationalize the horrors they are seeing. I feel this novel may send the wrong message to wannabe thrill seekers who look for publicity.
Johnny Bloodlust (Really?? Who picks these names?) is going on vacation. He plans his vacations in a rather sloppy manner by using a world map and a dart. It doesn’t matter where the dart lands. He will go there. Why select a target a year in advance? This gives him time to pick up rudiments of the language and important cultural points. He doesn’t want to be noticed or stand out in a crowd as he goes about his hobby, killing people based on customized instructions from his boss. Johnny may wing it a bit as far as his vacation plans but his boss has carefully planned the kills that Johnny will perform each day of his allotted two-week vacation allowance.
Targets are not selected based on their worthiness to die. Revenge is not an issue. Johnny’s boss supplies him with several envelopes, one for each day. Johnny is to open one per day and select his victims based on instructions from his boss. One day the select menu might tell Johnny to commit a massacre. Another day there might be an instruction to make sure the victim dies by falling from a great height. Johnny just loves to kill and he appreciates the daily prompts from his boss. With only a prompt, Johnny is free to select a victim and be as creative as he wants.
Johnny has been doing this for years and his activities have not gone unnoticed by the FBI. There is even a special task force led by Special Agent Dina Carver. Her team is made up from local law enforcement of whatever country she is working in. For this novel, Johnny went to South Korea. Dina was aware of his choice. She arrived on scene perhaps a few steps behind Johnny. She immediately liaised with South Korean police officers so that she could hire a translator and ask for a team of detectives to help her. After getting past the usual resentments by local police of having foreign investigators foisted on them, Dina was able to acquire a capable, handsome, seductive translator/interpreter and two detectives whose main function was to imbibe alcohol at all hours of the day in any situation.
Dina is constantly checking with her home base trying to anticipate Johnny’s next kill. She mobilizes her team each day to investigate crimes and see if any of them could be linked to Johnny. Of course, she is always a few steps behind and Johnny is a very skillful assassin. The reader will be treated to some very weird staged murder scenes. So why is this novel not simply offensive? Because of the humor. Just as there are twisted violent scenes, there are a few “I-am-shocked-I-am-laughing-at-this scenes.” It is dark humor, gallows humor, and the type of humor cops banter about to relieve stress in unusual situations. I was a cop. Military careerists are in a similar situation. I retired from a career in the military. From this, I had the reaction of shock at some of the things I was laughing at. I was fascinated.
Here is a sample of the kind of humor that pops up between depictions of a kill. It is not as funny as when it is in context and unexpected, but this gives you an idea. Johnny is in a market in South Korea. His daily instructions have told him to kill a butcher who deals in dog meat. There are several of these, it will be Johnny’s choice. As he is surveying the market, Johnny becomes reflective:
“Taking in another sweeping view I felt so alive, so vibrant. I got one of those feelings — you’ll know the one I mean — where I kind of wished I had a samurai sword and I could just charge through, carving people up, slicing and dicing them, stabbing and charging and needling and gouging them. Slash Stab Slice Slash The market just had that kind of energy, you know?” (p.99).
As much as I liked the story, there were a few surprises and the off-beat humor was entertaining, I assigned an overall rating of only three stars. The humor intertwined with depictions of horror gives off a sense of acceptance of horrible acts if only the humor in those acts could be appreciated. From my experiences, in more violent professions I understand the purpose of dark humor as people try to rationalize the horrors they are seeing. I feel this novel may send the wrong message to wannabe thrill seekers who look for publicity.
August 25, 2018
Great book, lots of violence and a great twist you don't see it coming
November 3, 2024
Mr Barns does it again, another top notch book. I like the way that Mr Barns let's us get to know his characters and doesn't use extreme violence just to shock, it feels that the things his characters do is natural for them.
It was also another book with a twist, which he does well, I half got it right but not all of it.
It was also another book with a twist, which he does well, I half got it right but not all of it.
November 4, 2018
OH MY GOD
By far one of the best stories I have ever read. Unbelievable. Loved every minute of it and the twist was just out of this world. Truly brilliant and unbelievably recommended
By far one of the best stories I have ever read. Unbelievable. Loved every minute of it and the twist was just out of this world. Truly brilliant and unbelievably recommended
October 16, 2020
More please
This was an interesting take on the serial killer story. Lots of gore and a very surprising twist at the end. I hope you make another book about the antics of Johnny Bloodlust.
This was an interesting take on the serial killer story. Lots of gore and a very surprising twist at the end. I hope you make another book about the antics of Johnny Bloodlust.
November 20, 2024
Vacationers
Gruesome story ❗️ Love Crowleys work . This story was written in first person perspective which I found very interesting. Lots of twists and a great story line. Definitely worth 5 stars 🌟
Gruesome story ❗️ Love Crowleys work . This story was written in first person perspective which I found very interesting. Lots of twists and a great story line. Definitely worth 5 stars 🌟
February 28, 2024
I knew what the ending was halfway through :(
March 6, 2024
Brilliant
I love the barns brothers books. You can always count on a really good extreme violent horror. This was brilliant! Brutal, violent, bloody and sexual. A vacation with a twist! It makes every vacation you have had, or read about sound utterly boring. The chase from the local detectives, along with an FIB agent adds that extra it of spice to the story, along with a rather excited translator to help the FIB agent with talking to the local law enforcement, added even more depth to the story. It was exciting and compelling read that was worth every penny. I can't wait to see if there is more vacations in the near future. Recommended whole heartedly!
I love the barns brothers books. You can always count on a really good extreme violent horror. This was brilliant! Brutal, violent, bloody and sexual. A vacation with a twist! It makes every vacation you have had, or read about sound utterly boring. The chase from the local detectives, along with an FIB agent adds that extra it of spice to the story, along with a rather excited translator to help the FIB agent with talking to the local law enforcement, added even more depth to the story. It was exciting and compelling read that was worth every penny. I can't wait to see if there is more vacations in the near future. Recommended whole heartedly!
January 29, 2023
Reiselust ist von Crowley Barns, bisher das beste Buch was ich von ihm gelesen habe. Es ist ein Buch, was man sehr gut in einen Rutsch lesen kann. Im Buch wird sehr detailliert über die Taten geschrieben und es ist ein Ende was man nicht erwartet. Dieses Buch kann ich nur weiter empfehlen, für die die Splatter Inhalte mögen.
April 4, 2024
Wow!!!
Ok this is seriously one of the most entertaining horror books I’ve read to date. The surprising twist was completely unexpected and made the story so much more fun. Also, do the math at the end, it’s pretty amazing!
Ok this is seriously one of the most entertaining horror books I’ve read to date. The surprising twist was completely unexpected and made the story so much more fun. Also, do the math at the end, it’s pretty amazing!
September 9, 2018
The ending was okay, but so predictable I got it from the beginning. The horror was not compelling. Not Mr. Barns best effort, but still enjoyable.
January 25, 2024
Good read
Just discovered this author, been very pleased with them .I just binge read 3 of his books In a row and found them good
Just discovered this author, been very pleased with them .I just binge read 3 of his books In a row and found them good
February 7, 2024
I enjoyed this book it wasn't too long and the ending really surprised me I wasn't expecting that!
Displaying 1 - 22 of 22 reviews