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Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection
A wonderful book for thinking about how to release ourselves from crippling processes. It's time for men-and for all of us-to stand up and say, 'Give us back our full humanity, give us back our dignity.Paul Gilbert, PhD, author of The Compassionate Mind In a recent FiveThirtyEight poll, 60 percent of men surveyed said society puts pressure on men to behave in a way that is unhealthy or bad. Men account for 80 percent of suicides in the United States, and three in ten American men have suffered from depression. Ed Adams and Ed Frauenheim say a big part of the problem is a model of masculinity that's become outmoded and even dangerous, to both men and women.The conventional notion of what it means to be a man-what Adams and Frauenheim call ''ConfMasculinity''-traps men in an emotional straitjacket; steers them toward selfishness, misogyny, and violence; and severely limits their possibilities. As an antidote, they propose a new Liberating Masculinity. It builds on traditional masculine roles like the protector and provider, expanding men's options to include caring, collaboration, emotional expressivity, an inclusive spirit, and environmental stewardship. Through hopeful stories of men who have freed themselves from the strictures of Confined Masculinity, interviews with both leaders and everyday men, and practical exercises, this book shows the power of a masculinity defined by what the authors call the five curiosity, courage, compassion, connection, and commitment. Men will discover a way of being that fosters healthy, harmonious relationships at home, at work, and in the world.
276 pages, Paperback
Published September 1, 2021
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122 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
June 26, 2021
I have had a secret pleasure since the early 1990s. I have loved reading masculinity studies and Men's Studies. Paul Smith is a legend. Jeff Hearn I would follow - anywhere. Considered Men's Studies, with attention to class, race and sexuality, offers profound theories of change.
It has been a bit dry in the well of Men's Studies for a couple of decades. Perhaps rightly so. Toxic masculinity remains a seriously problematic phrase, and masks more than it reveals.
So enteres Reinventing Masculinity. It is not perfect. It is not in the league of Paul Smith and Jeff Hearn. But it is thought-provoking, considered and interesting. It is well written. Sometimes it moves into a discussion of 'soul' - and it loses me. But there is a strong paradigm configured here, working between confined masculinity and liberating masculinity.
That model would have granted the book three stars. I have lifted my review to four stars because the researhers aligned particular modes of masculinity with particular behaviours and structures in the workplace. While this subtheme could have been developed, the exploration of how masculinity models and workplace modes conflate - was absolutely tremendous.
This is not a book that explores masculinity, race and colonization. This is not a book that explores non binary citizens and masculinity. This is not a book that probes sexuality and masculinity. This is not a book that probes the transformations of class and masculinity.
Clearly there is a great deal that this book does not do. But it does create a thinking space for men in public and private spaces. And it may just provide an alternative theorization of the workplace.
It has been a bit dry in the well of Men's Studies for a couple of decades. Perhaps rightly so. Toxic masculinity remains a seriously problematic phrase, and masks more than it reveals.
So enteres Reinventing Masculinity. It is not perfect. It is not in the league of Paul Smith and Jeff Hearn. But it is thought-provoking, considered and interesting. It is well written. Sometimes it moves into a discussion of 'soul' - and it loses me. But there is a strong paradigm configured here, working between confined masculinity and liberating masculinity.
That model would have granted the book three stars. I have lifted my review to four stars because the researhers aligned particular modes of masculinity with particular behaviours and structures in the workplace. While this subtheme could have been developed, the exploration of how masculinity models and workplace modes conflate - was absolutely tremendous.
This is not a book that explores masculinity, race and colonization. This is not a book that explores non binary citizens and masculinity. This is not a book that probes sexuality and masculinity. This is not a book that probes the transformations of class and masculinity.
Clearly there is a great deal that this book does not do. But it does create a thinking space for men in public and private spaces. And it may just provide an alternative theorization of the workplace.
June 3, 2021
I was recommended this book by my wife's book-club-friend's husband. I appreciate this book for providing the vocabulary to discuss ideas that I already have. However, I do feel that the book comes up short in its material. I believe in the Five Cs and it sounds like M3 is a great organization, but I would have liked more science and history about masculinity. There's the bit in the beginning about hunter-gatherers, and there are a few case studies of men who have found that a liberated masculinity worked better for them than confined. I feel, however, that the book could've used more as well as more context. It sometimes felt repetitive, almost like the authors were drilling just a single facet of an idea into our heads without providing other facets of that idea.
I do recommend men read this book, however. I think its overall thesis is good and it proves a great starting line for men who are beginning to think about their masculinity.
I do recommend men read this book, however. I think its overall thesis is good and it proves a great starting line for men who are beginning to think about their masculinity.
August 20, 2023
Really great book, written from a secular perspective. I wouldn’t endorse everything in it, but would highly recommend it as a relatively short, easy read. Anyone looking for a refreshing view on masculinity as healthy vs. toxic will appreciate the insights from two respected psychologists who bring kind, intelligent, and experienced knowledge to the conversation. I especially appreciated how the authors described “constrained masculinity” vs. “liberated masculinity.”
To pair it with a Christian perspective, I’d read this book alongside Non-Toxic Masculinity by Zach Wagner and Malestrom by Carolyn Custis James.
To pair it with a Christian perspective, I’d read this book alongside Non-Toxic Masculinity by Zach Wagner and Malestrom by Carolyn Custis James.
February 6, 2021
This is a cool book. I wish I could have had access to these thoughts, ideas and information years ago. But it's never too late to learn and grow! I think the most powerful aspect of this work is that it encourages men to examine who they are versus who they want to be as spouses, partners, fathers, friends, colleagues, etc. Using their expertise, insights and superb writing style, the authors help lift the yoke of 'confined masculine' expectations by giving men the permission to be their best selves. Truly a book for our times!
November 30, 2020
Dr. Ed Adams and Ed Frauenheim bring unimpeachable credentials to their book Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection. Adams is a respected psychologist and onetime President of the American Psychological Association’s Division 51 devoted to the treatment of men and boys. Frauenheim works ss senior director of content for advisory and research company Great Place to Work and has co-written several books covering topics such as leadership, society, and organizations. He is co-founder of the Teal Team, an organization aiding other organizations evolve into more democratic and emotionally attentive places. The collaboration between Adams and Frauenheim bears considerable fruit with the book Reinventing Masculinity and its publication is timelier than ever before.
The book’s construction is compact and free from any wasted motion. An Introduction and Conclusion bookend seven chapters and the co-authors are swift about bringing readers face to face with the crux of their argument. Toxic masculinity has polluted many of our interpersonal exchanges on various levels and the times and such developments demand nothing less than a wholesale and focused reinvention of what it means to be masculine. The authors make it clear early on that their primary intended audience for the book is other men, but women can get a lot out of this book as well – at very least, insight into what men struggle with and face each day.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: https://www.reinventingmasculinity.com/
It may not seem surprising considering the book is co-authored by two men, but it is refreshing to read a book about male hierarchies and rethinking masculinity that doesn’t launch ad hominin attacks against the male gender nor feel the need to constantly apologize for loutish behavior. Frauenheim and Adams take a “wide-screen” approach to the issue; instead of zeroing in on bad behavior and seize upon ideas that will resonate with many as undiluted truth. They boast no agenda other than attempting to help others and the lack of ulterior motive comes through on each meaningful page of this book.
There is ample research fueling Reinventing Masculinity. The book draws a great deal from Adams’ professional experiences with several patients over the years, but the co-writers make well planned use of outside sources who enrich the text. They avoid using the term “toxic masculinity” and, instead, use the term confined masculinity. It accurately describes the same idea without the overt negative connotations conjured by using the word “toxic”. This tempered approach to language is indicative of the book.
AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Ma...
Adams and Frauenheim write with cool confidence throughout the book’s entirety. This is, perhaps, Frauenheim’s most important contribution to Reinventing Masculinity – his experience writing previous books. There are scattered quizzes throughout the book and each chapter ends with a list of “Things to Ponder and Do”. These recurring devices strengthen the book without ever distracting readers from the main text. The co-authors have penned an important, if not seminal, text in the on-going societal dialogue we are locked in about what masculinity means in modern American life. Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection is a worthwhile reading experience you can revisit time and again.
The book’s construction is compact and free from any wasted motion. An Introduction and Conclusion bookend seven chapters and the co-authors are swift about bringing readers face to face with the crux of their argument. Toxic masculinity has polluted many of our interpersonal exchanges on various levels and the times and such developments demand nothing less than a wholesale and focused reinvention of what it means to be masculine. The authors make it clear early on that their primary intended audience for the book is other men, but women can get a lot out of this book as well – at very least, insight into what men struggle with and face each day.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: https://www.reinventingmasculinity.com/
It may not seem surprising considering the book is co-authored by two men, but it is refreshing to read a book about male hierarchies and rethinking masculinity that doesn’t launch ad hominin attacks against the male gender nor feel the need to constantly apologize for loutish behavior. Frauenheim and Adams take a “wide-screen” approach to the issue; instead of zeroing in on bad behavior and seize upon ideas that will resonate with many as undiluted truth. They boast no agenda other than attempting to help others and the lack of ulterior motive comes through on each meaningful page of this book.
There is ample research fueling Reinventing Masculinity. The book draws a great deal from Adams’ professional experiences with several patients over the years, but the co-writers make well planned use of outside sources who enrich the text. They avoid using the term “toxic masculinity” and, instead, use the term confined masculinity. It accurately describes the same idea without the overt negative connotations conjured by using the word “toxic”. This tempered approach to language is indicative of the book.
AMAZON: https://www.amazon.com/Reinventing-Ma...
Adams and Frauenheim write with cool confidence throughout the book’s entirety. This is, perhaps, Frauenheim’s most important contribution to Reinventing Masculinity – his experience writing previous books. There are scattered quizzes throughout the book and each chapter ends with a list of “Things to Ponder and Do”. These recurring devices strengthen the book without ever distracting readers from the main text. The co-authors have penned an important, if not seminal, text in the on-going societal dialogue we are locked in about what masculinity means in modern American life. Reinventing Masculinity: The Liberating Power of Compassion and Connection is a worthwhile reading experience you can revisit time and again.
July 25, 2021
This book is a pop psych (not meant pejoratively) approach to helping masculine culture mature. The key concepts of “liberating masculinity” and “confined masculinity” are easily understood in an applied sense throughout the book, helping the reader understand that masculine culture is overly focused on select traits of masculinity, to the detriment of men and society. The authors identify five traits of a deepened and mature masculinity, recommending the exploration on a personal and group level. They showcase how these traits and concepts that have helped men, families and organizations become healthier versions of themselves.
I would have appreciated a more scholarly engagement of the topic, as this is a nominally discussed topic.
I also desired a deeper engagement of masculine spirituality, as they touched on the idea of a masculine soul and the unique connection to psychology.
I would have appreciated a more scholarly engagement of the topic, as this is a nominally discussed topic.
I also desired a deeper engagement of masculine spirituality, as they touched on the idea of a masculine soul and the unique connection to psychology.
June 22, 2025
I would recommend, good overview and research. Good points about how men should approach their relationships, life and be open to talk about their emotions. One point to mention as a negative. As someone that enjoys reading about stoicism and feels pretty comfortable with his masculinity and vulnerability, I felt the book was "attacking" the philosophy without any good good arguments. "Being a stoic" doesnt mean you don't show emotions or being "mentally tough". If you go deep in the philosophy, its exactly the opposite. Hence that's why 4 stars instead of 5.
February 28, 2023
This is one of the most inspiring books on masculinity that I have read. As a scholor and researcher in the realm of masculinity studies I can recommend this as a really good primer for exploring the space between unhealthy and healthy masculine expression.
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews