Good Mourning: Honest conversations about grief and loss

by Sally Douglas, Imogen Carn

A comforting support group in book form. A must-read for grievers.' - Ellidy Pullin

'Good Mourning is a gift – the package you leave on the doorstep of anyone rocked by grief when you don't have the words.' -Jessie Stephens, author of Heartsick

Sally Douglas and Imogen Carn met after the sudden deaths of their mothers only months apart. Their experiences led them to launch a podcast, and their no-holds-barred, relatable approach to talking about grief sparked a growing following of people eager to have honest conversations about what it really feels like to deal with loss.

Good Mourning is a compassionate survival guide for anyone dealing with grief – the kind of book Sal and Im wish they'd had to help them through the dark times. Here they shine a light on the many ways grief can impact our lives (hello ugly crying, exhaustion and 'grief brain'). Along with expert advice from clinical psychologist Tamara Cavenett and warm words and insights from hundreds of others who've experienced grief, the authors offer practical tips on coping with isolation and loneliness, navigating grief at work, managing milestones and so much more.

Whether you're one month in or ten years down the track, Good Mourning will help you make sense of life after loss — and know that you're not alone.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Self Help, Death

304 pages, Paperback

Published May 2, 2023

Reviews

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

The best, most relatable book I’ve read on this topic. Filled with honest conversations about how grief impacts so many aspects of life, tips for coping, and personal stories from others’ experiences. An excellent read for anyone experiencing loss. Highly recommend their podcast, as well.

[Mary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great guide both for navigating and normalizing grief. It feels weird to be this specific, but I’d definitely call this a millennial grief book - especially good for those early stages when both the grief as well as the loss is still fresh.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Perfect book if you are grieving or helping someone navigate grief. The conversations are honest and validating. It helped me put words to emotions. It didn’t feel like a self help book at all.

[Leah Fagan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Insightful and validating book on grief. One to own and revisit often while on the grief journey.

[Kaari Perm · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sattusin selle raamatu otsa hästi juhuslikult oma tavapärasel tiirul Rahva Raamatus.
Ja päriselt - isegi kui see teema tundub ebaseksikas, siis see on nii-nii vajalik. Mulle endale oli see praegusel hetkel üks parimaid ja äärmiselt vajalikke lugemiskogemusi ja usun, et kõik, kes vähegi leinaga moel või teisel kokku puutuvad on samuti. Isegi kui oled oma leinavale lähedasele toeks - haara see raamat, siin on nii palju kasulikku ja see aitab teda ja läbielatavat kindlasti kõvasti paremini mõista ja mis peamine - toeks olla nii, et teil mõlemal oleks hea. :)

[Chloé · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is a good one to give to someone in the early waves of grief. I got it for my sister as soon as it was released, because our mom had just died suddenly that year. The podcast had helped us navigate that first year of shock, especially because Sal and Im started it after their moms died unexpectedly too. The book, like the podcast, does a great job touching on various aspects and feelings related to loss. The input from listeners also helps provide different perspectives on the range of feelings that arise while learning to live with grief. One of the things I like most about it is that the format, interrupted with lots of pictures and inserts, is easy to read in small chunks. It can be so hard to focus on reading while grieving, so the style of this book can help people find things they can use or relate to even if they’re just skimming it, looking for some comfort.

The only caveat I have about it is that although the authors do acknowledge the range of feelings that may - or may not - come up while grieving, they give more of a passing reference to the less overtly emotional, demonstrative, or visibly intense ways of carrying grief, and they dive into the depths of the hardest parts of it more. It makes sense to do that in this context, and the listener input that they include would do that too, since many of us drawn to the podcast are looking for support through intense feelings. But I think for people who carry their grief in a quieter or more subtle way, it might not feel like the book resonates as much. For a more professional, and maybe more well-rounded, perspective on grief, I might recommend other books and authors instead…but the nice thing is that these authors reference authors like that (e.g. David Kessler and Megan Devine) throughout the text and include them in the reference list at the end. So for a personal, wide-ranging survival guide for the early days and months of grief especially, I think this is a great resource to share with someone. It normalizes and validates a range of reactions and offers concrete ways to help yourself through a life-changing loss.

[Annie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't know where to start on my grief journey so I picked this up on a whim - turns out its an excellent jumping block to get through these murky waters

[Jem · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so helpful. It really is like a support group in book form, full of shared stories and helpful tips. I would recommend this to anyone who has experienced loss and has been impacted by grief.

[Jasmine]

I found this to be both comforting and practical, I am grateful this book exists.

[Kalina Stork]

DNF for real…don’t read this lmao

[miria_ma · Rating 4 out of 5]

Smútok je bolestne osamelý...

[Kez · Rating 5 out of 5]

I cried so often reading this.
This book make me feel seen, understood, and that I am not alone in my grief.
And for that all I can say is Thank You!

[Grace · Rating 5 out of 5]

For people who have lost someone and are navigating grief, this is a great resource. I’m many years down the track with my grief and still found new ideas and coping strategies.

[Glenda Stewart · Rating 5 out of 5]

INCREDIBLE, this book is AMAZING!! It will make a huge impact for anybody grieving, especially in the early days. I wish this book had been around when my Dad died (not that I wish in 2006 the lovely authors were in this excruciatingly tough grief world). I don't think I've ever quite felt so completely understood and seen and I'm 17 years in!!!! I love that this book tackles some of the awful old messaging like 'you need to let go', it's one of the phrases someone said to me that made me feel inadequate, that my grief was too much and I was doing it all wrong!!!! I remember being like WTAF that's my biggest fear I'm desperate to keep my Dad as close as possible, and I'm an anlogue griever so already he felt hard to keep close, it felt so wrong, and made my insides churn, the concept of letting go was excruciating...so I love that this book helps to etadicate these unhelpful concepts!!

[Michelle Wilkin · Rating 4 out of 5]

“You can’t cure grief but you can heal your trauma.”

There’s no right way to grieve just like there’s no wrong way to grieve. This book was so helpful in reminding me that when grieving a sudden traumatic loss you aren’t alone, others are also walking in your shoes.

Yet - on a more important note. It also reminded me that your grief journey, the feelings and thoughts you have, are yours alone. You have every right to process your individual grief in the time and way that you need to process it, as you have no one to prove it to.

Grief isn’t linear. The steps of grief are not the same for everyone. The waves will come unexpectedly. And the weight of grief doesn’t lessen with time.

But it is comforting to understand that this is ok. And that with time you’ll find ways of your own to carry the weight and move through it in your own way.

[Liz Dustan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic! This book was like a warm hug for my heart. Lots of humor, lots of love and lots of practical advice for grievers and the people who support them. I found the chapter about how grief affects us physically the most enlightening. The book is written by two women who have lost their mothers, so it speaks to that perspective the most, but it still touches on other grief experiences. I would have liked more information and resources about parents grieving after the death of their children, but I understand that this is not a common experience so the research is likely thin. They did discuss anticipatory grief and the experiences of caregiving a terminally ill loved one, which I was very happy to see. Overall, a great book and helped me normalize a lot of the feelings I'm having after my daughter's death.

[Kaela · Rating 5 out of 5]

A solid 5/5 stars!

If I could recommend just one book for grievers, it’s this one! Targeted for people in the thick of it, this pick-me-up serves as your trusty guide to the grieving process. It also features stories from different grievers and tackles all kinds of loss. The book is written in a format that is short and easy-to-digest because let’s face it, who can focus when you’re deep in grief?

In a gist I agree with how the authors describe this: it’s a support group in book form.

Note: I highly recommend the Good Mourning podcast too!

[Kohi · Rating 3 out of 5]

Sad that it only touched on disenfranchised grief. But understood because the book clearly revolved on them losing their loved ones.

Anyway. I’m grieving the loss of my long term relationship and his cheating on me, and stumbled upon this book.

Surprisingly, and unsurprisingly, the way you grieve for the death is very similar to breaking up. It sucks that I have to grieve for that person, and the relationship that was.

This book made me feel that I’m not alone and the feelings I’m feeling are normal. Thank you.

[Jessica Cassimatis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great and comforting read based on normalising grief and navigating loss. Imogen and Sally’s writing is really relatable and warm , full of their personal anecdotes and contributions from bereaved persons. I loved the journey tips spread through the book and the support list at the end. A wonderful resource for anyone going through a crippling loss or someone supporting a person managing life with grief. To be honest, it’s applicable for any stage of grief.

[Claire (Book Blog Bird) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such a well written, useful and compassionate book.

Lost a star due to a section at the end where the authors talked about receiving signs from their dead loved ones as if this is a thing that can happen and about mediums as if they are people who can genuinely receive contact from the dead and not, at best, misguided, and at worst, evil charlatans who prey on people when they are at their most vulnerable.

[Marieke De Bie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great book because it doesn't tell you how to grieve but recognises different feelings you might experience and you feel like you can relate to what they are saying. Small exercises that could help you if you choose to do them.

Easy book to read in a very difficult time in your life. I would gift this book to someone who is grieving just like I received this book as a gift.

[Sarah Selvaratnam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found this book so helpful and heart warming! It was great to hear insights from other people who have experienced different types of grief and loss, insights from psychologists and other experts in the field too. The last section also gives some good advice and recommendations to others who want to support someone who is grieving (ie. a partner, work colleague etc..)

[Laura Madsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

My sister died unexpectedly of a heart attack on January 28, 2024. This book was recommended to me by an acquaintance. I’ve been slowly reading it over the months. I have in turn recommended it to a number of other people who have lost close family members. I plan to keep this book on my nightstand and reread bits over and over.

[Bettina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had read this book a lot sooner as it would have made me feel not so alone. It helped to validate a lot of feelings I’ve felt during the thick of my grief. If anyone is experiencing grief, they need to read this book.

⭐️I give this book 5 stars ⭐️

[Jordan Oppert · Rating 4 out of 5]

I found this book really insightful - it also made me feel seen, heard and "normal" as I navigate my own grief journey after losing my Dad. I find myself referring back to this book often, as I just read chapters as and when I feel the need.

[Alana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved it! Wish I had read it sooner! I feel so validated after the loss of my partner and sister and disenfranchised losses as well! I wish all mental health professionals would read this. Some great resources and feeling less alone

[Kate Mckillinit · Rating 4 out of 5]

The right book at the right time. Very comforting and easy to read <3

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really helpful in navigating grief and learning to live with loss.
Grief still sucks though!

[Taraaaamingo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must-read for those familiar with loss or those supporting a caretaker or loved one experiencing loss. 💜

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has so much information.
And depending on where you are in your grief, will depend on what you read and how much you take in.