Go Ask Alice/Jay's Journal

by Anonymous

A boxed set of two classic, cautionary Go Ask Alice and Jay's Journal.

Genres: Fiction, Young Adult, Novels

480 pages, Kindle Edition

First published October 19, 2010

About the author

Books can be attributed to "Anonymous" for several reasons:

* They are officially published under that name
* They are traditional stories not attributed to a specific author
* They are religious texts not generally attributed to a specific author

Books whose authorship is merely uncertain should be attributed to Unknown.

See also: Anonymous

Reviews

[Lulu · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a true story, and is actually the diary of a girl whose name remains anonymous. It was about her life, and how much she went through and also how drugs influenced her in the beginning of the book, she was a really good kid but as the story went on, she tried more and more drugs. It really shows the different sides of drugs and how they can change a person’s life quickly.

I really liked this book a lot! It was really mature and I would recommend it to people who are in high school because of its content. The book was really well put together, and I was hooked on it right from the start. I am a really picky reader, and a lot of the books I pick up I usually don’t finish, but this one it was hard for me to put it down once I picked it up.

[Laura · Rating 1 out of 5]

There is nothing more disappointing than picking up a book advertising itself as a 'true-story' when in fact the book was made up by the author. The diary entries lack too much detail to make this a believable read. I picked up this book in a bookstore due to the cover and also, I was researching some of the Rock-n-Roll lyrics of the 60's. Have you ever analyzed the lyrics of 'American Pie'? Just fascinating. After reading the book, I find out the book is named after the song 'Go Ask Alice' from Jefferson Airplane, and the song takes it's lines from Alice in Wonderland. So in fact, the song did not derive it's lyrics from the book. Thumbs all the way down for fraud and I rarely give a negative review.

[Kristen Cooley · Rating 2 out of 5]

I have to say that I really did not enjoy this book. It just doesn't make sense to me that a completely normal and innocent girl can all of a sudden change into a drug addict after she gets drugged at a party. I feel like what happened to her would put her off of drugs rather than on them. However, I did think it was interesting to see the mindset of a girl who was going through this. She went through so much in such a short time, with heartbreak and running away from home. I did feel really bad for her. The end is what really hit me though. Throughout the book, I kept hoping she would overcome her addiction for good and I genuinely thought she would after she went through a period of time where she was able to avoid drugs. However, like all good things that time came to an end and she went back to drugs and it led to her death. This book taught me important lessons about what can happen to me or any other high schooler if you take drugs only one time, and it is never good.

[CATHERINE · Rating 2 out of 5]

The premise seemed interesting billed as the diaries of teenagers affected by drugs. The writing felt awkward like an adult's idea of what a teenager would say, and not surprisingly as it turns out the author made it up so it is fictious but supposedly based on her experiences working with young adults. The depiction of the mental health facility is like something from Batman. The sexual violence which is mentioned briefly and passed over is not delved into in terms of the impact it has on our narrator. The story just feels unbelievable.
Apparently the book is named after the song 'Go Ask Alice' from Jefferson Airplane, and the song takes it's lines from Alice in Wonderland. Given the amount of drug references in Alice in Wonderland it isn't a surprising title but it may be the most interesting part of the story.

[Sonia S · Rating 4 out of 5]

Go ask Alice is a pretty interesting nonfiction book. It’s a diary of a fifteen year old girl that tells us how her life is at the beginning and how it starts changing because; of all the drugs she uses. She doesn’t have any real friends so she makes the diary her one and only friend who listens to her understands her. The people she calls her friends influence her a lot to use more a more drugs even if in some points she wants to stop. Alice’s parents don’t pay much attention to her and that makes her feel lonely and she makes her way out by taking more drugs.
I think go ask Alice is a pretty good novel because, it gives us an understanding of how bad it is to do drugs and also what ways lead people to do them. I like the way the book is written in general; like the diary format and also the detail way they explained the things that happen in each day. Also when Alice is introduce to new drugs they explained the drug and what affects makes on people. I think this book gets a lot of people’s attention because, now a day’s a large amount of teens are in drugs and it shows you how far one person can get.

[Melina Quezada · Rating 3 out of 5]

Jays Journal was a very interesting book about a 16 year old boy. Jay was a very good boy who was dedicated to his studies and things he could do in life. After a while Jay fell in love with a girl that wasn't good for him, she did drugs. His two friends Dell and Brad tried to tell him in the beginning but he didn't listen. After a while he gets caught stealing pills from his dads pharmacy and he was going through her bad path now. His two friends were going through the bad path as well. Jay was sent to reform school and was miserable. He hated everyone there and he missed his family and friends a lot. After being there for a while he started to bond with one of the staff members. He started learning about a bunch of new things. Jay looks like he went back to being the Jay from before and was going through the right path again. However when he went back home his life started to get a little crazy. Everything was weird and he felt like he was getting a visit from the demon that wants to take over his body.

[Julia · Rating 1 out of 5]

Edit: removing extra star for deceitful nature. I read it and was able to discern it was a work of fiction, but judging by the reviews, others were duped by the writer into believing it was an autobiography. Beware the narrator with a hidden agenda!


Original: This book is probably best before the age of...umm.. 17. I read it at the age of 31 and it simply doesn’t hold hold up well as a book for adults. Obviously it’s a YA book, but I hold the opinion that any book worth reading when young should hold up to the reader gaining maturity.

[CJ · Rating 2 out of 5]

As fiction this book gets two stars. I was able to discern early on that this was not the diary of a real teenage girl. Some research confirmed that this is not a true story. I believe there are many true stories about the dangers of drugs that we don't need to be trying to fool readers with what is clearly fiction. Shame on the author.

[Amy Sasser · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really heartbreaking and definitely triggering throughout. It was making me really anxious especially toward the end and there’s a super uneasy feeling when you reach the ending, of course. I find it kind of hard to rate this one with stars because it’s journal entries, but was absolutely on my list esp with reading more banned books, so I do appreciate for what it is, though intense.

[Lisa · Rating 5 out of 5]

i think this book gives you an insight on how a reasl drug addicte teens goes through on a day by say bases from thier first hit to teir last breath

[Mrs Tupac · Rating 5 out of 5]

Go ask Alice was a good cautionary read be careful who you befriend, what you do , and how you do it.

[Bonnie_Rae · Rating 1 out of 5]

I got into these books because of You’re Wrong About (Part 1, Part 2) and because of the book Unmask Alice: LSD, Satanic Panic, and the Imposter Behind the World's Most Notorious Diaries (Part 3). I have read Jay’s Journal once and Go Ask Alice like 3 or 4 times before re-reading them in anticipation for Rick Emerson’s book.

Go Ask Alice
I like to think I knew this book was B.S. from the get go. When I was in high school, I feel like I knew of this book from cultural osmosis. When I saw Go Ask Alice in a bookstore, I was drawn in by the book cover (black cover, white font, and quite stark, which tapped into my emo sensibilities). It reminded me of Ellen Hopkin’s Crank, whose original book cover (black background, white fond, stark look) is very similar in design.

The big giveaway for me, when I was first reading this, is roughly in the middle of the book. Alice has run away for the second time, leaving her actual diary tucked away somewhere and there are several pages with (?) in place of an actual date, with the tiny asterisk letting the people know There are no dates for the following material. It was recorded on single sheets of paper, paper bags, etc.

HUH!? HOW. IN THE WORLD. DID THIS GIRL. HOLD ON. TO DIARY ENTRIES… WRITTEN ON PAPER BAGS!? Did she tuck them away in her pocket and when she finally made it back home, stick the collected pieces of paper in a desk drawer or something!? This is what took me out of the book and made me realize – oh wait, this is bull.

Re-reading this book for like, the fifth time, I am seeing new details that stand out and prove how BS this all was. I feel like Beatrice Sparks was winking at the audience with this line from the very beginning of the book, on October 10: “Even now I’m not really sure which parts of myself are real and which parts are things I’ve gotten from books.” Yuh-huh.

As others have pointed out, her drug journey is weird. She tries just about everything, including heroin and crystal meth! But somehow, it’s marijuana that ends up being the last and fatal “stop” in her journey? Huh? Marijuana and LSD are not dangerous drugs, when taken in moderation. LSD is now being considered and tested for helping heal from trauma, including war veterans. But in this book, those two drugs are ranked right up there with HEROIN and METH. Additionally, how come she does not suffer hangovers from some of these drugs? Coming down from meth and heroin is rough, from what I’ve read. But it is never brought up!

Furthermore, it seems like this book has a specific cause and effect structure. Whenever Alice tries drugs, someone around her gets hurt – namely her grandparents. She really gets into drugs when she is spending the summer with her grandparents and they suffer one heart attack after the other until they both drop dead. Like they were doing peachy keen but once Alice touched the dooby, God looked down from Heaven and struck them dead to punish her.

HOWEVER. What Beatrice Sparks did well is tap into what teenagers think and feel. I remember being a teenager and feeling like I got Alice for who she was. She would have wild mood swings, she would hate her family and then feel bad and love her family again, she struggled to fit in when she moved to a new town (as someone who moved around a lot, I felt this in my soul), she was struggling with her sexuality (there are some gay undertones in this book, like this entry from June 23: “Beth and I have only two more days together. Our parting is almost like looking forward to a death. It seems that I have known her always for she understands me. I must admit that there were even times when her mother arranged dates for her that I was jealous of the boys. I hope it’s not strange for a girl to feel that way about another girl.”)… I think one of the big reasons this book still has so much staying power is a lot of people can tap into what “Alice” was thinking and feeling.

The ending really ticked me off, because the epilogue reads: “The subject of this book died three weeks after her decision not to keep another diary. Her parents came home from a movie and found her dead. They called the police and the hospital but there was nothing anyone could do. Was it an accidental overdose? A premediated overdose? No one knows, and in some ways that question isn’t important. What must be of concern is that she died, and that she was only one of thousands of drug deaths that year.”

In this book, Alice is spiked twice – once with soda and another with chocolate covered peanuts. The second time Alice has a really bad freakout and the poor girl goes into a tailspin, severely hurting herself to the point she gives herself a concussion and she is left scared. This poor girl really wants to have a better life for herself but because of factors outside of her control, like students who pick on her or idiot adults, she keeps getting dropped back into the cycle of drug abuse. Who is to say she wasn’t spiked a third time? Or had a heart attack? Or a brain aneurysm? These things do matter! It was such a bummer of an ending because even though Alice goes through therapy and she has loving, wonderful support from her family, she still dies. It’s like the author was telling the audience – there is no hope for drug addicts. Once you get hooked, you are just going to die.

Gee, wow, thanks for that.

At least we got some beautiful book covers out of it (unlike the 50th anniversary edition, which looks like Alice is going to crawl out and kill me a la The Ring style:





Jay's Journal
This book did not have the same long-lasting impact as Go Ask Alice, but since that came out right before the Satanic Panic it definitely made an impact on American culture. This is also based on a real teenager, Alden Barrett, and his family has said that out of Alden’s actual journal only a few entries (21, to be exact) are real, while the rest are totally made up. I felt dirty reading this for the second time, because I feel like I am trampling on the memory of an actual teenager whose death (he committed suicide when he was a teenager, in his own bedroom) was capitalized for profit and clout. Whereas Go Ask Alice had hardcore drug use, teen sex, and runaway drama, Beatrice Sparks decided to switch out the runaway drama for OCCULTISM (insert scary sound effects).

This book is also unintentionally hilarious. Jay is almost like this Gary Stu character – he is good at everything he does: acting, debate, football, getting girlfriends, becoming an occult member. But when you have lines like “I am not your true love. O is!” and Tina called, she begged me to let her use voodoo, but I can’t!”… I really have to ask, how in the hell did this book get taken seriously?! And initially, the occult is presented as, no joke, an MLM. From November 4:

Brad, Dell, and I drove up to see Pete. He says we’re being pushed by the intruders because we aren’t doing enough for the order. He gave us a list of the kids he knows about who are investigating, or in, in our area. I was absolutely and beyond belief amazed at how many there are. Twenty-five in our own school that we never dreamed about, and each one of us is obligated to bring two more in this year if we are to have the strength of the group to combat outside influences.

Was he going to be selling Satanic leggings next?

There is no flow or rhythm to this story at all. Jay keeps tripping over occult members, in juvie, at school, at parties, and even though he really, really wanted to resist – he keeps getting pulled back in. It is like Beatrice Sparks did not know what the concept of a gradual build-up meant, because Jay is thrown into it hard. He meets “Pete” at juvie who can make warts disappear (insert scary sound effects again, here) and can move objects (coins) with his mind. Then “Pete” is dropped completely once Jay leaves juvie to come back home, until he is brought up once because he was caught raping a child (what the hell, Sparks!?). Then he ends up meeting a hot chick named Tina and she seduced him back into occultism. It is a constant cycle of "staying clean" (and Christian) then blammo – Jay is in the middle of rough sex with his witch girlfriend at an occult orgy or cutting up cows to drink their blood. The “climax” is a Satanic wedding with his witchy girlfriend, Tina (kind of wish she had more of a gothic name, but so be it). This happens:

“When I found out Tina was having our wedding in the cemetery, by the big tomb, I about died. … By the single little black candle, we went through the ritual of eternal slavery to each other. … Then we cut our tongues and let the blood pour into each other’s mouths. It was Nirvana. … Martin brought in a teensy meowing kitten. With one twist, he wrung its little neck. … [We tried and failed] to bring it back to life.”

In actuality, the real Alden did get (kind of) married to his girlfriend. They had a ceremony at the cemetery, but it was very different:

Scott (Alden’s brother) said Alden wanted to marry his high school girlfriend, and they performed a mock ceremony at the cemetery. In Scott’s book, an interview with the “bride” (known in the book as Tina) described a less insidious wedding at the cemetery. “When I was a little girl … there was this statue of Jesus in the cemetery. … That statue [was] a great comfort to me. … I wanted to get married in front of it. … We went there, and he had this prayer rug, and we both knelt there holding hands for several minutes. Then we kissed each other and left. There was nothing satanic about it,” she said.

The book does not read like an actual teenager wrote it. To take a line from a Daily Kos opinion article (about Go Ask Alice): Unfortunately for everyone but people who like bad books, gradually more and more clues appear that this not only isn't by a teenager, it's by someone who's more intent Sending a Message than telling a good story. What teenage boy would use the word “nincompoop” in his own journal? What teenager boy, in any era, ever waxed so poetically about weird stuff, like how he appreciates his father disciplining him? The only bits that felt real was when he was talking about his car, Toad, or getting horny over girls but those were so few and far between. This is just a moral tract disguised as a boy’s journal.

Beatrice Sparks also gets so many things wrong. One of the things that stood out to me is that Jay and his three friends are spiked or somehow ingest PCP (Phencyclidine) and they get all violent and horny (one of them literally drags away a teenage girl into the bushes) and out of control. In reality, the effects of taking PCP seem like getting drunk or really high – slurring, stumbling, numbness of limbs, etc… it seems like getting violent on PCP is very rare… but why inject reality into your pre-Satanic Panic book? Also, Jay makes many references to a Ouija Board. The Ouija Board (as we know it today) has historical pre-cursors, but the actual board was a commercialized toy. From Wikipedia:

William Fuld, took over the talking board production. In 1901, Fuld started production of his own boards under the name "Ouija". Charles Kennard, the founder of Kennard Novelty Company which manufactured Fuld's talking boards and where Fuld had worked as a varnisher, claimed he learned the name "Ouija" from using the board and that it was an Ancient Egyptian word meaning "good luck". When Fuld took over production of the boards, he popularized the more widely accepted etymology: that the name came from a combination of the French and German words for "yes".

There is also a little bit of Orientalism going on as well, with Jay waxing on about the oh so wise, oh so mystical Asians and their beliefs. Made me a bit squeamish reading that. The fact that voodoo kept being dragged into the story as well, which has different religious sects emerging out of Africa and South America, made me feel like that Beatrice Sparks was casting the occult in this book as the non-white, mysterious foreign influence while the good religion, in this case Mormonism, is white, suburban, and safe.

I really rolled my eyes into the back of my head when things start going well for Jay and his friends and they flipped out, convinced the occult was real and having an influence on their lives. One such example is a debate competitor getting sick and bowing out of the competition and another is his friends doing well at basketball. Instead of being impressed with their good luck, or maybe their skill and time practicing, they are CONVINCED that the occult is real and are stricken and sad about it. Jay is even lucky enough to be visited by RAUL, a literal demon (who apparently wears a jumpsuit?!) who decided to go after a Mormon teenage boy instead of literally anyone else. His own siblings get freaked out by Jay, as do the family pets. Again, unintentionally hilarious and definitely not a rip-off of the horror classic, The Exorcist.

There is also a bunch of gay subtext in this book (kind of like Go Ask Alice) alongside some outright homophobia. Jay is convinced a couple of dudes, such as Pete mentioned above, may have been making moves on him. When one of his best friends leaves for the summer, he really pines for him but writes that he feels like “a fruit” (a PG slur against homosexual men). He gets a job over the summer at a construction site and mentions how a bunch of the guys look tanned and strong (ooh lala) and on his last work day, this happens:

It must have been 114 degrees on the job today. The sweat dried on us before it even got out of our pores, leaving everybody feeling like they had a coating of salt on their bodies. Just as we were getting ready to quit Big Buck took a handful of water from the cooler and splashed it on Dell’s dad, he took the cupful he was drinking and threw it back, and before anyone know what had happened we were all in a water fight to end all water fights. We started with cups and buckets and hats full of water and ended up with two firehoses. Man, I never dreamed the power those things had, they just swashed us across the ground like we skating, on our butts, that is. Everybody laughed and screamed until they were hoarse. It was a fantastic kind of farewell for me although none of them know that’s what it was.

Just a bunch of fellas having a swell time, nothing to see here.

This book was ripped off from the family of a young man who was struggling with himself, his place in the world, and the world at large. Rather than give Alden respect and proper context, Beatrice Sparks turned his journal into a stupid horror novel about the dangers of the occult that would have massive repercussions on Alden’s family and on society at large. His brother recalls:

“I knew a teenage boy who had been to Alden’s grave site several times and had taken the time to draw a likeness of Alden from the rendering on the headstone. He made a shrine in his room, complete with satanic symbols and blood. Some of my old friends had witnessed him praying to Alden,” he said. “Another boy became immersed in Satan worship for over two years after reading Jay’s Journal,” Scott remembers. Black-and-white candle wax and blood were found at the grave as well, he said. The family became the object of cruel pranks. “My mother went out to check the mail and found a dead animal in the mailbox,” he said. While he believes Sparks’ intentions were to help young people avoid drug abuse, premarital sex and the occult, her driving force was “fame and fortune,” he said.

It seems like Beatrice Sparks is saying that by having pre-marital sex and even considering homosexuality, and/or engaging in recreational drug use, you are going through the gateway to endure BAD THINGS. And in Jay's Journal, it is SATANISM. This is a dumb book, with a dumb premise, written by a grifter who made zero apologies for what she did to Alden’s family. To quote Grady Hendrix: "Mocking her creation makes a mockery of no one but her.”

[Erica]

I read this book as it was referenced in another work. While this book may have been sensational when it first appeared in 1971, it has since been shown to be a forgery and I knew this before reading it. I believe this colored my opinion somewhat, especially learning that the author, Beatrice Sparks, made a habit of forging "diaries" to prove whatever point she was trying to make. What I consider even more despicable is her "editing" "Jay's Journal" at the best of his bereaved parents. Jay at least was a real person but Ms. Sparks felt it necessary to create parts of his "Journal" out of pure fiction. I consider her little more than a grifter.

As to the book itself and my bias going into it, it is awful! It reads, at least to my adult eyes, as a conservative adult's view of what a "troubled teen" would do. Like a bad Dragnet script, I learned that accidental LSD use could lead you to the hard stuff. . . marijuana!!!!

This is more of a historic footnote and not a book worth reading outside of it's fake context.

[Alex · Rating 1 out of 5]

I finished this book in about 2 hours and I wish I got the time back. This is a product of moral panic, inauthenticity, and straight up terrible writing. The actual author (who was a middle aged mormon woman…not a teen struggling with addiction, as she claims) uses this book as a tool to create an inane, chaotic and crazy narrative to terrify her teen audience out of ever experimenting with any activities she sees as hedonistic and/or degenerate. I love how she shames those suffering with addiction in the process…so much for the idea of recovery! This is just terrible. Don’t waste your time.

[Lizzy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book for school and I really wasn’t expecting any of it. It gave me a new perspective on teenage drug use and how awful that life can get. I don’t recommend reading it if you don’t want to be shaken or upset because it is definitely the purpose of the book. I also don’t recommend it too people that know someone that suffers with addiction because it can really mess you up. If all of those don’t apply to you go for it!

[Myrna O · Rating 4 out of 5]

Alice was a better read. Whether real or fictional, these things DO HAPPEN to teens.

Jay’s story was a bit repetitious and the language similar to Alice’s story. There were some parts that were hard to believe although there is truth to the occult.

[Lynn Carrigan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, what a heartbreaking book!
This book is for adults but gives you insight into the world of drugs.
What a twist ending!
glad I read it and would recommend it to anyone wanting to learn about this subject matter.

[Ace V · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book was such a great read . The material can get kind of heavy as you read really a lot of triggers for certain readers. Overall it was such an emotional read and something that will really keep you occupied. Such a quick read , i just wish there was more to the ending.

[Anna Maynard · Rating 5 out of 5]

These books were also very great.

[Erin · Rating 2 out of 5]

Interesting. Read a while ago. Remember this book should not be on the young adult shelves.

[Georgette Branham · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interesting. I read them because I considered them to be books that no one would want me to read.

[Taya Harper · Rating 5 out of 5]

Definitely got into this one more so than Jays Journal, and neither of them are a let down. A quick read if you have time to devote to it.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts are good and some parts are very dated!!!

[Hanif · Rating 2 out of 5]

Awkward, made up writing posing as "non-fiction". This is an easy pass.

[Charlie · Rating 2 out of 5]

not very entertaining. many things happen throughout the book but it seemed very anticlimactic. only interesting part was at the very end.

[Jennie Leigh · Rating 1 out of 5]

Two stars for the kind of gross “dare” esq message. But I have to admit, I loved this book when I read it as a teenager. Didn’t scare any of us away from drugs though going to be honest.

[Deiya · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book altered my brain chemistry. In a bad way.

[Shelby Lynn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an interesting glimpse into a young woman’s history and struggle with addition

[SLYzZz · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt weird reading this since it's not really "a book" but just somebody's journal. Of course somebody thought it was good enough to give out but it was really interesting reading.

[Heidi Johnston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very sad story. However very informative. Scary to believe this happens in real life.