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On Becoming Childwise: Parenting Your Child from 3-7 Years
As a child moves beyond the toddler years, new challenges arise for parents. Be prepared for this exciting stage with fifteen "Childwise" principles for training children ages 3-7 in happy and responsible living. You became a parent overnight..... but it takes much longer to become Childwise . Just when you master the baby stage, greater challenges arise. Intellect, self-awareness, curiosity, and social roles are emerging-- requiring consistent caring guidance from you.Equip yourself with more than fifteen Childwise Principles for training kids in the art of living happily among friends and family. Foster the safe, secure growth of your child's self-concept and world view. Nurture your little one's uniqueness while setting loving boundaries on his or her world. And sow seeds for a rich harvest in the ten years ahead. On Becoming Childwise shows you how to raise emotionally balanced, intellectually assertive, and morally sensible children. It's the essential guidebook for the adventurous years from toddler to grader schooler! Come join 26 year Pediatrician Dr. Robert Bucknam, M.D. and co-author Gary Ezzo, M.A. and the community of 6 million homes in all 50 states and around the world that are finding peace and success with their children in the On Becoming best selling series!
261 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1999
106 people are currently reading
305 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews
July 29, 2016
Things I learned from this book;
1) don't fear disappointment, or responsibility. Life is not about what feels good all the time. pleasure principle. You do them no favors by making the road easy.
2) we can show love for them by demonstrating our love for each other. Prioritize Mom/Dad talking to show the marriage is stable, daddy loves mommy, and instill confidence in the child. Show affection in front of them (me likey)
3) this first phase of parenting is boot camp. we are the guardians of their little souls. the next phase is training, then coaching, then friendship.
4) i gave 16 time outs yesterday over 3 children. It doesn't mean I was doing it wrong, it means I was doing it right. Caring enough about them to address their behavior and teach them. They just had a lot to learn yesterday. Tomorrow should be easier.
5)I need to teach her to be courteous to siblings as a model for their future spouse and children.
6) teaching values and morals at this age is critical, not optional. My strong willed child is smart enough to digest even complicated nuances of compassion, courtesy, kindness. She also is smart enough to fight me to make sure i meant it.
This book is more philosophical than practical application. In the end, count to three then consequences...but it's also good to highlight the moral lessons i should be teaching.
Man this shit is hard. But if it were easy, I'd be bored.
1) don't fear disappointment, or responsibility. Life is not about what feels good all the time. pleasure principle. You do them no favors by making the road easy.
2) we can show love for them by demonstrating our love for each other. Prioritize Mom/Dad talking to show the marriage is stable, daddy loves mommy, and instill confidence in the child. Show affection in front of them (me likey)
3) this first phase of parenting is boot camp. we are the guardians of their little souls. the next phase is training, then coaching, then friendship.
4) i gave 16 time outs yesterday over 3 children. It doesn't mean I was doing it wrong, it means I was doing it right. Caring enough about them to address their behavior and teach them. They just had a lot to learn yesterday. Tomorrow should be easier.
5)I need to teach her to be courteous to siblings as a model for their future spouse and children.
6) teaching values and morals at this age is critical, not optional. My strong willed child is smart enough to digest even complicated nuances of compassion, courtesy, kindness. She also is smart enough to fight me to make sure i meant it.
This book is more philosophical than practical application. In the end, count to three then consequences...but it's also good to highlight the moral lessons i should be teaching.
Man this shit is hard. But if it were easy, I'd be bored.
June 22, 2020
Even if the "Babywise" more scheduled approach with babies isn't for you, I've found the rest of these books very practical and helpful. I've read most of them over the years and I love how they aren't filled with flowery language and stupid stories to make the narrator seem "down to earth" like many parenting books these days. I find them all practical with ideas I can put into practice right away. I enjoy that they focus on different age groups because my kids even though they are a few years apart are at different developmental stages.
July 24, 2019
This book was exactly what I needed to read at this stage in parenting our 3 year old. So many good, joy filled training ideas in this book. All geared towards living a virtuous life with the mindset of “do to others what you would have them do to you” at the forefront. Teaching our children the “why” of our commands helps instill morality and ownership in their own lives.
April 19, 2012
Excellent book...just as valuable to me as babywise was! I've already implemented several strategies and am going to start reading it again soon so that I will retain more.
June 24, 2020
Another solid book in the "On Becoming" Series.
May 17, 2008
I think there are a lot of simple steps in this book that a family can take to make life easier for their child, which translates into life easier for everyone. I first read the book pre-maturely, before my first child exhibited any signs of defiance, and before we had our second child. After picking it up again, I can see some of the most important things that we used to do unintentionally have slowly dissolved as our family has added another person. I have a feeling that our family dynamic will change within the next few months as we start to work on the suggestions in this book. I'll keep you updated.
June 16, 2014
I remember reading Babywise by the same authors when Aurora was a baby and it not making much of an impression for good or for bad. I happened across this book at a free book box and thought I would give it a try now that Aurora is 5yrs old. It didn't start out well but then the authors dropped the tone that was reading (at least to me) as rather condescending and patronizing and then it got really good. I started to mark the book all up with post it notes and a highlighter. This book ended up being the perfect counter balance to my other favorite parenting book Unconditional Parenting. I plan to refer back and reread this book multiple times and probably try reading Babywise again.
Currently reading
May 7, 2009My favorite principle in this book is "Couch time". It helps children feel safe and confident knowing that their parents love eachother. This books a winner so far!
July 1, 2010
This holds much needed advice for all parents of children.
November 7, 2018
Super conservative but good words and values to hear, especially in this day and age where I can’t help but wonder if lots of men weren’t raised with the principles of respecting/loving other people and respecting property. Could use more specific techniques but I suppose there are other books for just that.
October 5, 2019
This book has a good balance of focusing on the heart and internal change, while also providing practical help for obedient and loving children.
I appreciate the focus of this series, primarily a “parent directed” approach to parenting where the kids don’t rule the schedule, the meals, and the activities of your life.
I appreciate the focus of this series, primarily a “parent directed” approach to parenting where the kids don’t rule the schedule, the meals, and the activities of your life.
August 18, 2020
This was more on point than any other parenting book I’ve read. The focus on discipline, manners, and conflict resolution was helpful. The “do unto others” as a principle for behavior, requiring an acknowledgement of instruction, and sit time for contemplating were most helpful. However, the other 3 books I read of his weren’t as good.
December 15, 2020
These books are great. I will say, I'm learning that as I work through the series, each book is just carrying out the foundational principles from the first 2 Baby Wise books to their logical ends by applying it to older kids. So if you really implement and understand the principles in the first 2 books, they're the most foundational and important to read.
July 21, 2021
This one for some reason was like Babywise in that it actually had practical advice I could use today instead of just poorly written vagueness! Still not fantastically written, with a couple things I don't agree with (esp for parenting all boys), but this one will stay in our library, whereas the other ones I let go as soon as I read them.
July 13, 2020
Great book! I was a Babywise mom when my kids were babies, all 3 of my kids slept through the night by 3 months. Now I plan to put Childwise to work in our house, the sibling fighting is already improving from using the authors advise.
May 2, 2022
Child Wise books always give me pointers and insight into rearing and disciplining children. Though the books often have superfluous information, and could greatly be consolidated, there are enough helpful tidbits to make reading them worth it.
February 6, 2024
Wonderful guide to instilling a moral compass into young children by using the golden rule among many logical reasons for doing what is right. Leans very JudeoChristian but the principles are solid and give a great foundation of tactics for parents to gently discipline their children.
March 28, 2019
Absolutely excellent!
August 15, 2019
Excellent. Practical. Encouraging. In step with the reality of these ages. Very glad I picked this book up!
January 5, 2020
This book is full of valuable advice on parenting. The methods are explained adequately and are easy to implement right away. I highly recommend this book.
June 19, 2020
Super
Great, useful tips I’ve implemented and see positive results already. Highly recommend and my kids are just about to enter these age ranges
Great, useful tips I’ve implemented and see positive results already. Highly recommend and my kids are just about to enter these age ranges
May 27, 2011
I love the Babywise/Childwise method. If you've read the books for earlier ages, this one flows seemlessly with the ideas presented in the other books. But if you're unfamiliar with Babywise or Childwise, you can still jump in with ages 3-7. I love that this method is faith-based, but it isn't presented in a preachy manner. Each one of the principles taught in this book is designed not only to help childrens' behavior, but their moral hearts as well. So good behavior comes from good moral understanding and not just fear of punnishment for breaking rules.
I would have liked to read more real-life examples of how the principles may be practically implemented, but I understand why they didn't have a lot of those- each child is different and will need to receive these teachings in a way that is specifically tailored to that child's needs. Don't get me wrong, some of the principles were beautifully illustrated with real-life examples. Others gave no examples at all. For me, the examples really help me understand the concept.
My one big gripe is the frequent appearance of the phrase, "Yes, it really is that easy!" Um, I beg your pardon, but it isn't always that easy. This book doesn't address special needs issues AT ALL. Which is perfectly fine for most families. And while the principles taught in this book are especially important for my ADHD/ODD child, there is NO magic trick, no easy solution to teaching him anything. But I did get some essential reminders of things we need to work on with him, and some much needed encouragement for how to proceed with my daughter.
I highly recommend this to any parent. I don't promise that it'll be the answer to all your problems, but I do believe it can make a significant difference in how you look at your child's behavior and how you choose to react to it.
I would have liked to read more real-life examples of how the principles may be practically implemented, but I understand why they didn't have a lot of those- each child is different and will need to receive these teachings in a way that is specifically tailored to that child's needs. Don't get me wrong, some of the principles were beautifully illustrated with real-life examples. Others gave no examples at all. For me, the examples really help me understand the concept.
My one big gripe is the frequent appearance of the phrase, "Yes, it really is that easy!" Um, I beg your pardon, but it isn't always that easy. This book doesn't address special needs issues AT ALL. Which is perfectly fine for most families. And while the principles taught in this book are especially important for my ADHD/ODD child, there is NO magic trick, no easy solution to teaching him anything. But I did get some essential reminders of things we need to work on with him, and some much needed encouragement for how to proceed with my daughter.
I highly recommend this to any parent. I don't promise that it'll be the answer to all your problems, but I do believe it can make a significant difference in how you look at your child's behavior and how you choose to react to it.
February 16, 2017
Excellent. One of the best parenting books I've read. Wish I had read it a couple of years ago!
April 9, 2022
A step-by-step guide on how to be a covertly abusive parent This philosophy should be banned! If you want your children to grow up to have debilitating anxiety and other mental health issues, this is the book for you. A great book to help you psychology mess them up!
January 21, 2008
Great book and such a fast read! I am excited to continue applying these principles. It has already started to make a huge difference with Morgan. I wish I could summarize my favorite concepts, but I found stuff I loved in every chapter! I don't think we will be doing the whole Mr./Mrs. thing though - we'll have to teach respect for our elders another way! I wasn't sure about the "Yes Mommy" thing at first, but I have to admit - it really works!
May 21, 2009
Some good information and tips on how to get what you want from your child and having well-behaved offspring, although there was SO much filler material. I couldn't wait for them to just get to the point and tell me what to do. Also, they would give a lot of examples of what NOT to do, but then fail to give an example of what TO do in certain situations. Overall a good read and I took away a few really key ideas, but the whole book could have been written in about 20 pages.
May 9, 2010
These 'On Becoming' books are great for me. I started reading this particular one long ago - never finishing it . . . but was drawn again to it this last week after some particularly out-of-control days with the kids. As I read I'm filled with a renewed sense of 'I can do this!' And the overwhelming motherhood moments turn from being hopelessly frustrating to being a solvable challenge.
October 4, 2011
There was a lot of good in this book. Ideas about cultivating character and heart within our children. However, I find the writing style condescending at times and despite reassuring me that their book is to help parents in practical ways, I found very few actual strategies. It seemed the focus was on convincing parents the value of teaching character and morals. It seems to me that most parents already know this.
January 27, 2016
5* I like all the Babywise books by Gary Ezzo. They give me real solutions and tangible relief for my parenting frustrations. I love how this book goes right to the heart of the matter - simple reasons why I need to train my kids to be kind and non-destructive. This Christian book is water in a parched world that seems to be raising selfish kids. This book goes back to the Golden Rule and stresses kindness, respect, manners, and right-and-wrong, which I want to teach my children.
February 28, 2008
Again, I loved this book. I haven't read this one for a long time and need to brush up on the 4 yr old tricks... I think my favorite thing about his series/author, is that he pulls all his ideas from many sources and has tested them in his home, and in many others. He also has a very faith-based ideology on children that I connect with. Very cool.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 55 reviews