Growing Kids God's Way: Reaching the Heart of Your Child with a God-Centered Purpose

by Gary Ezzo

Three ring loose leafed binder entitled "Growing Kids God's Way" written by Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Childrens, Counselling, Christian, Family, Christian Living

398 pages, Ring-bound

First published January 1, 1998

Reviews

[Sheri · Rating 1 out of 5]

In a word, horrible. Meanspirited parenting designed to break spirits rather than gently guide them. There have been many complaints that this book promotes failure to thrive because of the rigid timeschedules that aren't designed for the human baby but for the convience of parents. Babies aren't convenient, they are hard work and deserve to know their parents are there for them.

[Larry Taylor · Rating 1 out of 5]

all of mr and mrs ezzo's books and recordings are biblically unsound and psychologically and physically bordering on abuse. they advocate strict schedules for infants and appeal only to very self centered parents who want to be king and queen of their domain. i have personally seen horrible fruit in churches that promote these books and methods. if you call focus on the family and ask about the ezzos, they will reply that "they definitely DO NOT recommend" them. i urge parents to stay far away from this stuff

[Vince · Rating 5 out of 5]

I thoroughly enjoyed reading Dr. Ezzo's perspective of raising up our children in the instruction of God's word - the Holy Bible. It aided me in discarding old methods that weren't working for my 7 year old daughter and laying down some new ones using Dr. Ezzo's suggestions. After a few months of application (with trial and error, of course), my daughter gave me a big ol' hug and said, "I love you dad... you're getting better at being my dad." I must say it's worth your time, even if you have teens.

[Cristan · Rating 1 out of 5]

When Ezzo started talking about using rubber tubing to whip 18 month olds, I almost had a stroke!

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you need help with your kids and getting your family back to a family... this is the book. Kids of any age. I don't have kids but I read it for a bible study I was doing. I could enforce it in the classroom, and parents saw amazing changes that were giving it a try in their own homes- I highly reccomend this read!

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW! What an eye opener. As a young parent I lack simple parenting skills and in this study has been a blessing to not only teach my children about God but teach them morals and value training.

[Kailan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a Godsend. I'm grateful that we had the opportunity to learn all these biblical values and principles from these authors on your personal relationship with Christ, marriage, and parenting. Thank you Gary and AnnMarie Ezzo.

[Micki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great parenting advice for a spiritual standpoint. We went through this study for Carlie, and are still using the principles for Lucy.

[Christi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm a little past half-way through this book. I own the cds accompanied by the book. They are basically the same, so I'm just reading the book, and have stopped listening to the cds. So far, I find the information fantastic. This book teaches about shaping a child's heart and morals, thus shaping his behavior. It's not about stifling the spirit, severe discipline, abuse, or unreasonable expectations. In fact, I just finished the section on discipline, and was surprised that there was not an emphasis on chastisement (spanking). Certainly it's part of the chapter, but amazingly, the Ezzo's don't promote it as the primary or only means of disciplining your child. There are many factors that go into reasons you may want to spank your child. They discuss those, but also mention that one can raise a healthy, moral, Christian child without spanking, too. Some of the reviews on this site almost seem to describe a different book, they are so harsh. There isn't one thing I've read so far that even hints at the abusive - physically, emotionally, or mentally. If there was, I would immediately discontinue this book, of course. For a first time parent who is a Christian, this book is a wonderful guideline and resource. I may not follow its suggestions 100% of the time, but I feel it will help me help my child grow up with a strong moral compass, a heart for compassion and others, and self control. This material will also guide me to give my son stability through parenting that is loving and consistent. Like any book, one should read it with an open mind, and glean from it what works for one's own life. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking how to shape their child's behavior by teaching to their heart first.

[Tracy · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just finished this 17 week study at church and it was great! Not only did it help my husband and I get on the same page with how we want to parent out children but it was great to meet families that are parenting the same way as you. Highly recommend this study if you can find a group that is doing it.

[Lynnea · Rating 4 out of 5]

We took this class at church. It has excellent advice and a lot of good reminders. Recommended reading for any parents with children one year old or older!

[Victor Porras · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a pretty different kind of parenting book than I would normally read, but I thought it would be interesting to see an alternative, more traditional perspective. While I'm not religious and don't agree with everything in the book, I liked it a lot and found it helpful. The authors clearly care about raising children to have fulfilling lives in the long run, rather than just avoiding conflict in the early years. They have useful perspectives about human nature, providing a counterpoint to the assumptions of modern culture.

[Audrey Robin · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of the reviews of this book sound like they didn’t actually read THIS book…

Don’t listen to those reviews, read the book, especially if you are a parent!

It lays out three types of parenting: authoritarian parenting, permissive parenting (or child-centered/gentle), and biblical parenting.

The authors go on to explain how to achieve biblical parenting while avoiding the other two types.

They offer practical advice on discipline but only after detailing the biblical principles and moral values you are aiming at instilling in your children and WHY you should be doing so.

My parents read this book and raised me and my two siblings according to the advice outlined in it back in the 90’s. To everyone saying that it’s abusive and psychologically damaging I just can’t agree or understand how you got to that conclusion. Not only that, I will be using many of these same methods with my now 1 year old daughter.

[Wannie Michelmann · Rating 5 out of 5]

The authors of this book/guide are really a solid pair in teaching parents how to grow kids God's way. Some might consider their teachings archaic or ultra conservative but what they teach are based on moral and biblical truth in Christian parenting. The basic principles are outlined in every chapters (17 of them) with content, appendix, Q & A. This book came with DVDs on the couple's seminars (to be used together with the book or workbook as a better suited term). Many case studies and examples are given during those DVD sessions. A Must Read for all Christian parents especially in teaching our children moral principles, which I find really lacking in today's modern society with its twisted culture and forced freedom without responsibilities.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Could not recommend highly enough. STarted this 18 week parenting class thinking I was doing pretty good a parent, rasing my kids in the best way I knew how. Little did I know that there is a whole nother level of parenting that I was naively missing out on. I learned so much practical parenting advice in this book and video series. Ideas that I use daily. I LOVED it and wish that every parent could read this and watch the videos. It's best done in a group environement so that parents can benefit from each others ideas and insight. Plan to take the class again as we near the teen years. OUTSTANDING book.

[Richard · Rating 2 out of 5]

Controversial. Not a panacea, as the 5-star raters see it; the injunction to parents to think through their approach and then not permit disobedience, firmly but sensibly applied, is but basic to effective administration, contrary to what the 1-star raters may think. Funny, fundy title.

[David Maywald · Rating 5 out of 5]

Growing Kids God’s Way: Reaching the Heart of Your Child With a God-Centered Purpose (first published in 1988) by Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo offers a Biblically grounded, character-focused framework for parenting that emphasises shaping a child’s heart more than simply modifying behaviour. The Ezzos advocate for consistent, parent-centred family structures where clear boundaries, natural consequences, and grace-filled discipline teach virtues like obedience, respect, self-control, and responsibility from early childhood. Practical strategies are used (such as family routines, age-appropriate chores, open communication, and times of prayer and reflection) with the aim of fostering moral and spiritual growth, helping children internalise Christian values through both teaching and relational modelling.

While the approaches in Growing Kids God’s Way have been praised for taking parenting seriously and helping fathers connect intentionally with their children, critics warn that rigid methods (particularly relating to discipline) can risk emotional or physical harm if applied without sufficient compassion and discernment. Overall, the core value of Growing Kids God’s Way lies in urging parents to take a proactive, faith-filled role as spiritual stewards of their children; cultivating homes where virtue, wisdom, and trust in God's guidance prepare children to grow into morally responsible, caring adults.

Here are four key takeaways, which can help parents raise their children wisely and intentionally:

1. Parenting is a God-given responsibility with a Biblical foundation

The book emphasises that parents are primarily called to guide, nurture, and disciple their children according to Biblical principles, not merely to manage behaviour but to shape character in alignment with Christian values such as respect, obedience, kindness, and self-discipline.

2. Clear structure, boundaries, and routines build security and moral growth

Establishing consistent family routines and well-defined expectations helps children understand what is expected of them, reduces confusion, fosters responsibility, and creates an environment where they can grow with confidence and predictability.

3. Parents must model Christian virtues in daily life

Children learn most effectively by observing their parents’ behaviour, so living out patience, humility, forgiveness, and other Christian virtues in real interactions reinforces teaching and integrates faith into everyday life.

4. Character and heart transformation matter more than surface compliance

The goal is to raise children who internalise God-honouring values, not just obey rules; this involves intentional communication, teaching spiritual truths, and helping children take responsibility for their choices in ways that cultivate lifelong moral integrity and love for God.

These principles aim to help parents nurture children who eventually mature into responsible, compassionate, and spiritually grounded adults.

[Judi · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent teaching - even though this is a little older material it's pertinent today. I wish every pregnant couple was required to read this and raise children with a Biblical sense of morality. I was an observer of the DVDs and used the Leadership guide. The audience were mostly required by DCF to attend - some took it seriously and some were checking the boxes because they had to. Valuable approaches and tools for parenting.

[Mairin Schuman · Rating 3 out of 5]

Eh 🤷‍♀️ it was fine. Kinda lame compared to what I thought it would be as it seems to really stop short of the depth of the "why" and feels more like a checklist of stuff to do. I prefer the Babywise series.

[Justine Trokey · Rating 5 out of 5]

A parenting series I highly recommend with focus on the moral education of your child and cultivating respect and obedience in their hearts.

[Natoshia Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this with my church group, very insightful for my husband and I. Definitely got a lot of building conversations for us and what we wanted for our family.

[Louis Garczynski · Rating 1 out of 5]

By far one of the most evil book ever written. The later editions have been toned down, but I know plenty of broken, deeply traumatized kids due to this book.

[Chevelle · Rating 3 out of 5]

It wasn't so much a book as it was a full-on 4 month course.

What you have to do is get a group who will stick with you for 17 weeks. Each week, you need to do your homework about the lesson that occurred week before, watch a video together, discuss the lesson after, then stuff your face with desserts.

I must admit that a video tape series on parenting is about as useful as learning to ride a bicycle by reading about it... but it does get you thinking a little deeper about family values and the kind of messages one sends to young impressionables very quickly.

Also, the rather cheesy acting's always good for a laugh.

Non-Christians may find this rather challenging as a lot of this course dwells on God's role and authority in the family.

[Angie Jones · Rating 4 out of 5]

I recommend this book with caution. Every child is created uniquely in God's image and Gary Ezzo has a one size fits all approach to parenting and disciplining them. This is great book to read and then apply your God given discernment as to how to apply his teachings in your unique situation. I am very thankful that early on this book encouraged me to get my babies on a schedule and to not loose site of the fact that children flourish best in an environment where the strength of the marriage and the cohesiveness of the parent's relationship is elevated above the often loud demands of the child.

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book encouraged me to think about what parenting style I want to use and reminded me about many of the reasons behind the methods of discipline that I see used by other parents that I have contact with. While I do not agree with everything that the Ezzos suggest, I found much of the information to be very practical. I will be reviewing this over the next several years as my husband and I develop take ownership of our own parenting style.

[Taryn · Rating 3 out of 5]

We read this book (and watched the videos) as part of a group study. We thought the ideas were very valuable parenting tools. (The presentation (videos) are not the greatest quality.)
I've heard and read many controversial debates about this material, but we found many Biblical ideas that have worked well for us.

[Victoria Holderness · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall, I thought the book was a good balance (the revised version) of mother or parental I tuition and common sense. I think, like all books, there are definite take it and leave it aspects. I enjoyed the basic premise of the parents relationship being a godo solid foundation for growing kids God's way.

[Mr. Pe Mr. Pe]

this is a great book and i recommend it to everyone

[Lisa · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great parenting advice that you'll keep coming back to as your kids get older.

[Cheryl · Rating 2 out of 5]

About honoring God as parents. Helpful.