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The Loving Dead #1
The Loving Dead
Kate and Michael are roommates living in the Oakland hills, working at the same Trader Joes supermarket. A night of drunken revelry changes their lives forever, but not in the way that anyone would expect.
A slow-spreading plague of zombie-ism breaks out at their house party, spreading amongst their circle of friends, and simultaneously through the Bay Area. This zombie plague ― an STD of sorts ― is spread through sex and kissing, turning its victims into mindless, horny, voracious killers.
Thrust into extremes by this slow-motion tragedy, Kate and Michael are forced to confront the choices they've made in their lives, and their fears of commitment, while trying to stay alive and reunite in the one place in the Bay Area that's likely to be safe and secure from the zombie hoards: Alcatraz.
A slow-spreading plague of zombie-ism breaks out at their house party, spreading amongst their circle of friends, and simultaneously through the Bay Area. This zombie plague ― an STD of sorts ― is spread through sex and kissing, turning its victims into mindless, horny, voracious killers.
Thrust into extremes by this slow-motion tragedy, Kate and Michael are forced to confront the choices they've made in their lives, and their fears of commitment, while trying to stay alive and reunite in the one place in the Bay Area that's likely to be safe and secure from the zombie hoards: Alcatraz.
241 pages, Paperback
First published March 1, 2010
11 people are currently reading
335 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 96 reviews
May 26, 2010
If you'd told me before reading this book that I wouldn't like a book about zombies that included graphic girl on girl sex scenes and was endorsed by one of my favorite authors, Christopher Moore, I'd have said you were crazy, but this book just flat out wasn't good.
The pre-billing said this book was a lovechild of C-Moore and Chuck Palahniuk. It failed to say the kid was born with flippers instead of hands.
The pre-billing said this book was a lovechild of C-Moore and Chuck Palahniuk. It failed to say the kid was born with flippers instead of hands.
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July 10, 2024I'm quitting at 20 something %. This is just not working. Who decides to go on a date with their married sugar daddy after they know firsthand a zombie sex apocalypse has broken out?! This is not a serious book but these people are seriously terrible. The MC wakes up with "a mouth that tastes like warmed over ass" (eww) and decides to leave instead of making sure all of her friends are ok after a night of zombie debauchery. This is not even ickily sexy. I realize this is horror and I need to use my imagination, but I can't stretch it that far today. These people were brain dead before the zombies even got ‘em.
Ah well, I tried.
Ah well, I tried.
August 8, 2010
I really thought I would like this book, I mean the premise sounded right up my alley: the story of two people who promise to meet at the safest place they know during the zombie apocalypse, and the story of not only if they can make it together but if they could keep their humanity in an increasingly inhumane world. The title of the book is even a riff on the great George A Romero movie titles, The Loving Dead. But man, this is one brutal and surprisingly lifeless read, a read full of uninteresting characters with nary a sympathetic one in sight. The problem is that the book isn't a spoof, so when zombies attack and the main characters decide to just watch Night of the Living Dead and fall asleep instead of confronting the zombies in their apartment, then yeah, if they don't care about their own survival, why should I? And I get that the zombie virus is an STD and spread through sexual intercourse, but did every other page really have to be about another sexual act? Like, "oh boy the zombies are coming, let me masturbate my boyfriend here, and yeah damn these zombies for breaking my sex mojo." This is just a poorer version of the same thing Charles Burns wrote about in the 90's in his seminal work, Black Hole. Truly disappointing work from first time author Amelia Beamer, a work which I can honestly say as a fan who has read a lot in the zombie genre/sub-genre, is one of the worst examples I have ever encountered.
February 16, 2012
(Note: I did not finish this book.)
You know, you pick up a book with a title like this and it's a pretty clear indication not to take it too seriously.
It could have been fun. But it was a little too gross.
A brief ways in, there is a scene in a bathroom, with a handful of people trying to get away from the zombies. One of the people is making out with another one, and then turns into a zombie. The zombie woman continues to make out with the woman (they are-er, were-a lesbian couple) while eating her entrails. This provokes a round of vomiting from one of the other characters (not that I blame her).
Ew. Just... Ew.
Later in the book it appears someone turns into a zombie but retains their consciousness. That might have been interesting if I hadn't been so grossed-out by that point.
And may I say, I am not the most squeamish person. My mom and I were passing Stephen King books back and forth when I was, what, 11 years old? I played the Diablo 1 & 2 computer games, which are full of grotesque creatures. So when something is a bit much for me, that's saying something.
Off-topic; I know I can never watch either of the "Human Centipede" movies. But I have an idea for a third one, which would improve the experiment's "outcome", as it were. Does that make me a sick person?
You know, you pick up a book with a title like this and it's a pretty clear indication not to take it too seriously.
It could have been fun. But it was a little too gross.
A brief ways in, there is a scene in a bathroom, with a handful of people trying to get away from the zombies. One of the people is making out with another one, and then turns into a zombie. The zombie woman continues to make out with the woman (they are-er, were-a lesbian couple) while eating her entrails. This provokes a round of vomiting from one of the other characters (not that I blame her).
Ew. Just... Ew.
Later in the book it appears someone turns into a zombie but retains their consciousness. That might have been interesting if I hadn't been so grossed-out by that point.
And may I say, I am not the most squeamish person. My mom and I were passing Stephen King books back and forth when I was, what, 11 years old? I played the Diablo 1 & 2 computer games, which are full of grotesque creatures. So when something is a bit much for me, that's saying something.
Off-topic; I know I can never watch either of the "Human Centipede" movies. But I have an idea for a third one, which would improve the experiment's "outcome", as it were. Does that make me a sick person?
October 9, 2010
Audio book. First 15 minutes contain a steamy "love" scene that almost made me lose control of the car...whether from shock or turn on is none of your beeswax.
-----Later----
Erk. Thought from the title this was a love story about zombies...since The Loving Dead is a clever play on The Living Dead. By the end of the first CD two zombies were introduced and a whole room full of college-aged brain dead. And Kate, one of the main gals in the story, takes skankiness to a whole other level.
Look, I like erotica as well as any other 52-year-old woman married to a workaholic. But surely the author could have squeezed in a character or two with a little gray matter. Maybe the book is esoteric and I'm not one of the choosen. Lucky me.
-----Later----
Erk. Thought from the title this was a love story about zombies...since The Loving Dead is a clever play on The Living Dead. By the end of the first CD two zombies were introduced and a whole room full of college-aged brain dead. And Kate, one of the main gals in the story, takes skankiness to a whole other level.
Look, I like erotica as well as any other 52-year-old woman married to a workaholic. But surely the author could have squeezed in a character or two with a little gray matter. Maybe the book is esoteric and I'm not one of the choosen. Lucky me.
September 2, 2010
With her horrifically comic first novel The Loving Dead, Amelia Beamer taps into the cultural zeitgeist of the early 21st century. Much like the great zombie film progenitor, Night of the Living Dead, Beamer uses the undead to represent the fractured real world around her, albeit from a hyper-sexual millennialist bent.
Twenty-something housemates and Trader Joe coworkers Kate and Michael confront the terror of watching their friends turn into horny zombies, literally. Marauding sex-crazed undead shamble throughout the Oakland hills spreading the sexually transmitted disease that produces the horror.
While indeed, as the back cover copy promises, a bizarre cross-pollination of Chuck Palahniuk and Christopher Moore, Beamer's work lacks the innate coolness of the former's prose and the snappy comedic timing of the latter. Its true literary strength lies in her unflinchingly realistic portrayal of the Millennials' Facebook-managed, no barriers world -- an entire life, every secret, presented in living color for all to share. Despite their differences, the youth of The Loving Dead, similar to previous privacy-oriented generations, struggle with the feelings and misunderstandings spawned by their peers and their world as they struggle for their own identities.
Peppered with several ironic moments, uncomfortable family encounters, zeppelins, and an over-abundance of sex, The Loving Dead barrels along at an entertaining clip to an ultimately disappointing conclusion that feels more tacked-on rather than planned. Still, Beamer's insightful observations about her contemporaries combine with a fascinating application of the current zombie phenomenon elevates this debut novel above the plethora of increasingly mediocre undead sub-genre offerings. Ultimately, The Loving Dead presages the talents of an intriguing new author.
This review originally appeared at SF Site, September 1, 2010.
Sure enough Kate's friend was roped to the bed. Naked. She wore white contacts, and her skin was a fine gray. Her gaze moved among the men, and she licked her lips.
Michael was stunned. He knew Kate had a sense of humor, but this was beyond expectations. She'd turned her friend into a perfect sexy zombie. He turned to her. "You had me all worked up! You two must have been doing the makeup all this time. And I never knew you were such an actor."
"I'm not," Kate said. She wasn't grinning like she should have been. "I don't know what happened."
"My compliments," Cameron said. "She looks awesome."
"Wow, Kate," Sam said. "You know, what would be even been better is if you'd put some blood on her. Or some black goo, or something. I guess you don't want to mess up your sheets, though."
"Kate, you can cop to the joke," Michael said. "It was masterful. Smile already."
Kate blushed. "It's not a joke."
Twenty-something housemates and Trader Joe coworkers Kate and Michael confront the terror of watching their friends turn into horny zombies, literally. Marauding sex-crazed undead shamble throughout the Oakland hills spreading the sexually transmitted disease that produces the horror.
The zombie raised her arms, not forward like he expected, but to the sides. Her arms writhed like snakes. The ripple moved out form her shoulders to her elbows, her wrists, and her fingers. The skin around her wrists was torn, with scabby bracelets of black blood where the rope had been. Her hips swung around, to one side and then the other. She took a step forward, and Michael stepped backwards. The zombie wore a stage smile, big and brilliant. There was no music, but she kept time, stepping forwards. Knees bent, she rocked her pelvis back and forth. The motion was sharp and practiced. Beautiful, in its own way.
While indeed, as the back cover copy promises, a bizarre cross-pollination of Chuck Palahniuk and Christopher Moore, Beamer's work lacks the innate coolness of the former's prose and the snappy comedic timing of the latter. Its true literary strength lies in her unflinchingly realistic portrayal of the Millennials' Facebook-managed, no barriers world -- an entire life, every secret, presented in living color for all to share. Despite their differences, the youth of The Loving Dead, similar to previous privacy-oriented generations, struggle with the feelings and misunderstandings spawned by their peers and their world as they struggle for their own identities.
Kate interrupted his thoughts. "Hey, does anyone else think that scene in Living Dead, where the white girl slaps the black guy, and he clean knocks her out and then lays her on the couch and undoes the buttons on her jacket—does anyone else think that scene is hot?"
"Racist," Audrey said.
"Liberal," Henry said, in the same tone.
Michael was stunned. It was the sexiest thing anyone had said in a long while. Deliberately provocative. And a total non-sequitur. It took his mind off of their zombie problem for a blessed moment.
Peppered with several ironic moments, uncomfortable family encounters, zeppelins, and an over-abundance of sex, The Loving Dead barrels along at an entertaining clip to an ultimately disappointing conclusion that feels more tacked-on rather than planned. Still, Beamer's insightful observations about her contemporaries combine with a fascinating application of the current zombie phenomenon elevates this debut novel above the plethora of increasingly mediocre undead sub-genre offerings. Ultimately, The Loving Dead presages the talents of an intriguing new author.
This review originally appeared at SF Site, September 1, 2010.
May 19, 2023
Getting eaten by zombies would be a lot less painful than finishing this book
June 4, 2016
For a first novel, it's pretty well written (despite the fact that I couldn't finish it), and the idea that Zombification spreading like an STD is interesting, but if you want more then mind-numbingly stupid players and erotica, then maybe this isn't for you. And honestly, I wouldn't be against trying another Beamer book if the focus on sex were turned down a notch, or few. If I could take this book and say "lets take out a few of those sex scenes" I'd love to finish it.
The main character, Kate, seemed appealing enough at first, but the thoughts of a heroine I could relate to (in any sort of way) were squashed when
Yes, I get it. The Loving Dead. It IS a clever title, but believe me, none of that is actually the making of love... It was more like something that should be called "Wild Zombie Sex Feast Part 8".
Every single situation turns into a sexual encounter. And no, they aren't sexy. They just end up being ridiculous x-rated reactions to whatever the present predicament is.
I've nothing against sex in my books, but this one, seriously had TOO much for the theme of zombies to the point where it made entirely NO sense and the entire cast is considered a bunch of idiots that probably deserve to die.
The main character, Kate, seemed appealing enough at first, but the thoughts of a heroine I could relate to (in any sort of way) were squashed when
Yes, I get it. The Loving Dead. It IS a clever title, but believe me, none of that is actually the making of love... It was more like something that should be called "Wild Zombie Sex Feast Part 8".
Every single situation turns into a sexual encounter. And no, they aren't sexy. They just end up being ridiculous x-rated reactions to whatever the present predicament is.
I've nothing against sex in my books, but this one, seriously had TOO much for the theme of zombies to the point where it made entirely NO sense and the entire cast is considered a bunch of idiots that probably deserve to die.
November 4, 2010
If you are interested in reading stories about zombies, you're likely want to get through this book, if for no reason other than that it is a zombie story.
You might also be drawn in by the endorsement on the front cover by Christopher Moore and also one on the back from Peter Straub. These might lead you to believe you have in your hands a true underrated gem of a book.
That's how I felt when I first picked up this book.
Not any longer.
Essentially, I'm easily turned off by certain things in fiction, so this could be just a 'me' problem, but it was very difficult for me to slog through the initial quarter of the book and the stilted conversations among unbelievably awful characters. I'd be willing to concede the author was making a point with the way she drew her characters, but that doesn't mean I have to have enjoyed it.
There are some baffling discussions and even more absurd decisions made by the characters in this book, and not just the way you think when watching a horror film, "Oh no, you idiot, don't go in there!"
Without giving too much away, I'll just leave it that if you're not nearly as annoyed as I am by such poor character development, what's left is a compelling story of the beginning of an outbreak of zombie-ism.
For me, the payoff was the last chapter in which you get a glimpse of a pretty fascinating aftermath of the book's events. If Beamer ever wishes to continue a story in this world, I'd probably want to take a look at it.
Though, I'd beg she'd get someone to punch up the dialog a bit.
You might also be drawn in by the endorsement on the front cover by Christopher Moore and also one on the back from Peter Straub. These might lead you to believe you have in your hands a true underrated gem of a book.
That's how I felt when I first picked up this book.
Not any longer.
Essentially, I'm easily turned off by certain things in fiction, so this could be just a 'me' problem, but it was very difficult for me to slog through the initial quarter of the book and the stilted conversations among unbelievably awful characters. I'd be willing to concede the author was making a point with the way she drew her characters, but that doesn't mean I have to have enjoyed it.
There are some baffling discussions and even more absurd decisions made by the characters in this book, and not just the way you think when watching a horror film, "Oh no, you idiot, don't go in there!"
Without giving too much away, I'll just leave it that if you're not nearly as annoyed as I am by such poor character development, what's left is a compelling story of the beginning of an outbreak of zombie-ism.
For me, the payoff was the last chapter in which you get a glimpse of a pretty fascinating aftermath of the book's events. If Beamer ever wishes to continue a story in this world, I'd probably want to take a look at it.
Though, I'd beg she'd get someone to punch up the dialog a bit.
January 23, 2015
I bought this book because I love Zombie books. I believe Max Brooks' World War Z is the finest Zombie book EVER written. Beamer had taken a completely original approach to the zombie apocalypse genre by having the virus passed through... um... intimate human contact. The saliva being what transmitted it, amongst the other key bodily fluids. This book is aptly described by me as 'zombie porn'. The problem I had was that for well over 100 pages I was kind of lost. I didn't really know who was who and why or what was going on. I think she tries to give the reader the sense of panic and disbelief but she did it too well. Funny part is the book became better with about 40 pages left in it (it became worse again in the last 20 but never mind). It is an odd sort of approach to zombie lit and I give her points for creative originality. A touch smutty and the sexual violence *both implied and described* is a bit disquieting. The ending was a real stretch, even for a zombie fan like myself. It isn't what it could have been and it's a tough read although it doesn't take long. Can't really recommend it unless you are into what may be a new genre 'hardcore zombie porn'. Truly it only deserves 2.5 stars.
March 7, 2011
I had hoped for good things from this book - I saw it mentioned online somewhere and read the chapters that were available online for free. Unfortunately, it really didn't deliver.
I found the writing to be rather bad, though I can overlook that if other parts are quite good. But the characters were bland and, well, stupid. The plot was messy, and a lot of it just didn't make a whole lot of sense, from a logical point of view.
I'm not against sex, at all, but I found most of what was in the book completely unnecessary, and felt like it was stuck in because it needed it there to fit the theme, not because it made sense or pushed the plot forward. It felt like it was trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Normally, when I read a book, it goes one of two ways - either I get sucked in completely, or I can't even bring myself to open the book. But this one, I'd open it and read a page or two, then get completely distracted and have it just sitting there open. It was completely 'meh' for me - forgettable. If you're into zombies and/or sex, then give it a read, but don't expect much from it.
I found the writing to be rather bad, though I can overlook that if other parts are quite good. But the characters were bland and, well, stupid. The plot was messy, and a lot of it just didn't make a whole lot of sense, from a logical point of view.
I'm not against sex, at all, but I found most of what was in the book completely unnecessary, and felt like it was stuck in because it needed it there to fit the theme, not because it made sense or pushed the plot forward. It felt like it was trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator.
Normally, when I read a book, it goes one of two ways - either I get sucked in completely, or I can't even bring myself to open the book. But this one, I'd open it and read a page or two, then get completely distracted and have it just sitting there open. It was completely 'meh' for me - forgettable. If you're into zombies and/or sex, then give it a read, but don't expect much from it.
November 5, 2012
Maybe I just don’t get the whole “zombie” thing. Don’t get me wrong, like the next 20s something I have a zombie-pocalpyse escape plan, have watched enough zombie films to know zombies are “cool,” and am forwarded by I. relevant zombie-in-the-news stories. But I don’t get the appeal enough to enjoy (or even want to read) Amelia Beamer’s The Loving Dead. No wait, I think it’s Beamer’s fault for writing a boring, predictable, boring, and boring book, because I liked Wide Sargasso Sea (zombies) and The Forest of Hands Teeth (more zombies). So I take it back. I don’t blame zombies for the terrible book I just suffered through: I blame the lack of plot, character, setting, theme and ability to narrate without the use of clumsy descriptions.
I guess the thing that’s supposed to make the book appealing is that zombification takes place by way of sex, and that zombies can be controlled through sadistic whip lashings. As if somehow by describing lesbian sex and sadism I’m going to forget the narrative is TERRIBLE.
I guess the thing that’s supposed to make the book appealing is that zombification takes place by way of sex, and that zombies can be controlled through sadistic whip lashings. As if somehow by describing lesbian sex and sadism I’m going to forget the narrative is TERRIBLE.
April 1, 2022
It's been a long time since I've read a story where parody and sociology meet so well. Now one ties the other to a bed...
But seroiusly, anyone who would give this book a single star obviously cracked the cover expecting mindless gore and sex, and were horrified to find a story ripe with original expression.
Beamer's novel isn't just another zombie tale. It's a thoughtful examination of modern sexuality, feminism and social class struggling to break free from the stiff rigamortis of fanboy expectation.
Her characters are familiar, relatable and flawed in all the best ways. The best part is, it does acually come wrapped in a package of gore and sex! You just need a reasonable amount of uninfected brain cells to understand it. Would definitely recommend if engaging horror and storytelling is your jam.
But seroiusly, anyone who would give this book a single star obviously cracked the cover expecting mindless gore and sex, and were horrified to find a story ripe with original expression.
Beamer's novel isn't just another zombie tale. It's a thoughtful examination of modern sexuality, feminism and social class struggling to break free from the stiff rigamortis of fanboy expectation.
Her characters are familiar, relatable and flawed in all the best ways. The best part is, it does acually come wrapped in a package of gore and sex! You just need a reasonable amount of uninfected brain cells to understand it. Would definitely recommend if engaging horror and storytelling is your jam.
September 25, 2011
Wow, this was awful. What was an interesting concept on paper was utterly marred by horrific writing. It seriously read like a middle-schooler was writing a horror - forget the concept of "show, don't tell"; every character's motivation is put out for you in cut-and-dried black and white. "This was the hardest thing she'd ever done", for example, when one of the characters has to choose who to save from an impending attack. A couple of clunky sentences here and there is one thing, but this was an entire book of them. The characters were flat, the dialogue uninspired, and there were tons of "hip" pop culture references tossed in every few pages in an attempt to make it an "ironic" zombie tale. What a let-down.
February 13, 2013
I really give this book a zero. I should have read a paragraph before I picked this one up but I didn't. I wasn't careful about What zombie book I read, I just like zombie books. Now I'm more careful. This is a terrible book, there is almost no character development, and all of the characters are depraved. The sex scenes are just disgusting as well as inappropriately placed in the story and lack any kind of creativity. I stopped reading the book at the zeppelin ride because I didn't want to pollute my mind anymore. Terrible writing.
April 18, 2020
Zombies aside, this is really only for people who don’t mind their erotica both vanilla and mostly rapey. The characters are vapid and shallow with few or no redeeming features, and the best thing to be said about the ending was at least it meant there wasn’t any more of the story to read. An interesting premise squandered by ridiculousness.
January 27, 2022
I didn't like this book. Read it back when it came out so my memory is hazy on it but anything I removed from my physical library is something I genuinely didn't like because I'm a hoarder and I'll keep anything halfway decent.
December 15, 2018
Sexy zombies, kinda. Fun in places, but the writing is quite clunky.
February 5, 2020
I liked the sound of the title, but once I started to read it 60 pages in and I could not finish it, and after reading the other reviews on here I see Iam not the only one it was badly written
January 23, 2021
2.5 stars
June 8, 2021
Terrible, waste of time. The only zombie book I did not like.
June 21, 2022
Very interesting book. Made me think a lot more than I expected. Well done.
March 21, 2023
I love this, I don't care what anyone says. Go and get your freak shit on, Amelia
February 6, 2024
not at all what i was expecting
September 21, 2024
Great premise. Less good execution. The plot was everything that makes me yell at the characters. Oof.
June 28, 2025
Basically zombie erotica. Great if that's what you are looking for, but I was looking for actual science fiction. Don't think this was Locus finalist quality.
May 10, 2022
It's been a long time since I've read a story where parody and sociology meet so well. Or where one ties the other to a bed...
But seriously, anyone who would give this book a single star obviously cracked the cover expecting mindless gore and sex, and were horrified to find a story ripe with original expression.
Beamer's novel isn't just another zombie tale. It's a thoughtful examination of modern sexuality, feminism and social class struggling to break free from the stiff rigor mortis of fanboy expectation.
Her characters are familiar, relatable and flawed in all the best ways. The best part is, it does actually have some gore and sex! You just need a reasonable amount of uninfected brain tissue to enjoy it. Would definitely recommend if engaging horror and storytelling is your jam.
But seriously, anyone who would give this book a single star obviously cracked the cover expecting mindless gore and sex, and were horrified to find a story ripe with original expression.
Beamer's novel isn't just another zombie tale. It's a thoughtful examination of modern sexuality, feminism and social class struggling to break free from the stiff rigor mortis of fanboy expectation.
Her characters are familiar, relatable and flawed in all the best ways. The best part is, it does actually have some gore and sex! You just need a reasonable amount of uninfected brain tissue to enjoy it. Would definitely recommend if engaging horror and storytelling is your jam.
March 17, 2017
I bought this book from the discount bin. Many things drew me to it- an interesting premise, the billing as an erotic-horror-comedy, the endorsement by Peter Straub, the great title, and the great-looking cover.
The only problem is, the story itself is tedious, and while the prose is clean and fairly polished there's no spark, no life, nothing to compel the reader to keep reading. It's not scary, disturbing, witty, humorous, erotic, or remotely sexy. Peopled with unlikable characters having dull sex at the most ridiculous of times, mostly it's just plain dumb.
Got about half-way through and then I had to give up.
The only problem is, the story itself is tedious, and while the prose is clean and fairly polished there's no spark, no life, nothing to compel the reader to keep reading. It's not scary, disturbing, witty, humorous, erotic, or remotely sexy. Peopled with unlikable characters having dull sex at the most ridiculous of times, mostly it's just plain dumb.
Got about half-way through and then I had to give up.
August 28, 2012
It's books like this that inspire me to become a writer. Because after having read it, I'm pretty damn sure I could do better, even though the longest thing I've ever written is a 30 page research paper about a fairly esoteric topic in harpsichord music.
I really wanted to like this book. I decided that I didn't after about the first five pages. Then I kept reading and tried to change my mind, because in some spots it almost becomes good, but overall, not really. There's nothing unique about the plot or about the writing, and there's way too much gratuitous sex...apparently in Beamer's Berkeley, the first thing any character does upon seeing or meeting another character is either straddle them, kiss them, or try to rape them. Or, if the two characters aren't boning, they have boned in the past and Beamer will tell you about it.
Aside from the annoyingly boring sex scenes, the writing is just flat. There's nothing particularly clever or good about it, and it mostly consists of barebones, plain descriptions of what is happening. The author makes a few stabs at trying to sound literary but they stick out oddly, as the metaphors are generally forced. ("The Zeppelin was laid out on the hilltop like a sacrifice to some steampunk god.") Emotional reactions are handled clumsily--a character will go from making a plain statement to yelling. You can tell because Beamer tells us, "...he yelled," fairly immediately after "he said".
All this having been said, the book is readable. I have read worse. The Celestine Prophecy, for example, is worse. Beamer isn't stupid, or even a terrible writer somewhere down inside, but it just seems like perhaps this isn't her strong point--perhaps non-fiction would be a better idea. This is just too wanky and self-referential, really beating you over the head with the fact that, hey, we're in the East Bay, and the author also makes it painfully obvious that she or someone close to her has worked at Trader Joe's. It's overly concerned with being modern and hip, bringing up name brand products nearly as much as Bret Easton Ellis but without his style.
Anyway, that's enough about this book--to sum it up, the writing is rather bland, the plot is exactly what you think it might be with absolutely no surprises or twists, and the characters are flat and barely believable.
OH, that's right, the ending. The ending is actually kind of interesting with the exception of main character Kate's attempts at goth poetry or something. However, the ending comes as sort of a deus ex machina for the author, who obviously could not figure out how to end a plot that wasn't really going anywhere. It's sort of tacked onto the culmination of what I suppose is the central love story of the book, jumps way in the future, and then retroactively explains a bunch of crap that the author obviously got bored trying to write about. But the setting and also...let's say, cultural shift that the ending describes could be a far more interesting beginning to a different novel altogether. Let's just hope somebody else writes it.
I really wanted to like this book. I decided that I didn't after about the first five pages. Then I kept reading and tried to change my mind, because in some spots it almost becomes good, but overall, not really. There's nothing unique about the plot or about the writing, and there's way too much gratuitous sex...apparently in Beamer's Berkeley, the first thing any character does upon seeing or meeting another character is either straddle them, kiss them, or try to rape them. Or, if the two characters aren't boning, they have boned in the past and Beamer will tell you about it.
Aside from the annoyingly boring sex scenes, the writing is just flat. There's nothing particularly clever or good about it, and it mostly consists of barebones, plain descriptions of what is happening. The author makes a few stabs at trying to sound literary but they stick out oddly, as the metaphors are generally forced. ("The Zeppelin was laid out on the hilltop like a sacrifice to some steampunk god.") Emotional reactions are handled clumsily--a character will go from making a plain statement to yelling. You can tell because Beamer tells us, "...he yelled," fairly immediately after "he said".
All this having been said, the book is readable. I have read worse. The Celestine Prophecy, for example, is worse. Beamer isn't stupid, or even a terrible writer somewhere down inside, but it just seems like perhaps this isn't her strong point--perhaps non-fiction would be a better idea. This is just too wanky and self-referential, really beating you over the head with the fact that, hey, we're in the East Bay, and the author also makes it painfully obvious that she or someone close to her has worked at Trader Joe's. It's overly concerned with being modern and hip, bringing up name brand products nearly as much as Bret Easton Ellis but without his style.
Anyway, that's enough about this book--to sum it up, the writing is rather bland, the plot is exactly what you think it might be with absolutely no surprises or twists, and the characters are flat and barely believable.
OH, that's right, the ending. The ending is actually kind of interesting with the exception of main character Kate's attempts at goth poetry or something. However, the ending comes as sort of a deus ex machina for the author, who obviously could not figure out how to end a plot that wasn't really going anywhere. It's sort of tacked onto the culmination of what I suppose is the central love story of the book, jumps way in the future, and then retroactively explains a bunch of crap that the author obviously got bored trying to write about. But the setting and also...let's say, cultural shift that the ending describes could be a far more interesting beginning to a different novel altogether. Let's just hope somebody else writes it.
April 23, 2016
Well, I hate having to do this, but this will be a (mostly) bad review. I was expecting so much from this book, because I really love zombies, and this seemed to be a unique twist on the zombie tale, but it was not executed well at all.
So, Kate and Michael are two 20-something roommates and coworkers at Trader Joe’s. During a house party of theirs, there is an outbreak of zombie-ism, that soon spreads throughout the area. Separately, they fight to stay alive and meet up where they believe they will be safeguarded from the zombies: Alcatraz.
First off, in this story, zombie-ism is spread like an STD, through sexual contact. Okay, whatever, kind of weird, but that’s fine. However, this didn’t seem consistent. I read about people randomly turning into zombies left and right without explanation half the time.
A lot of this story was just plain ridiculous. When Kate and Michael first discover that their friends have turned into zombies, they lock them up upstairs, and head downstairs where they put on a zombie movie and fondle each other under a blanket. Ummm…. okay then. Who would be watching a zombie movie while there are zombies upstairs? Wouldn’t you be running away or trying to do something? Apparently not.
Also, the zombies obey commands if you swish a whip in the air… OR, as Kate discovers, if you download an Indiana Jones app to your iPhone that makes a whip sound. They also respond to that. Well… okay… if you say so.
Listen, I for one, am ready for the zombie apocalypse. And guess what I WOULDN’T be doing right in the middle of it? Watching The Night of the Living Dead/caressing my roommate while zombies are upstairs, or downloading apps to my phone and swishing whips all about the place.
Not only was the story absurd and underdeveloped, the writing was quite amateur as well. I can understand that though, as this was the author’s debut novel. I felt this story could have been improved by some better editing.
I will say there were a couple of positive things about this book. I believe that no book is ever completely bad, so I will say that the idea was unique, and she could have gone far with it if she hadn’t made much of the rest of the story just plain absurd. I was interested enough to keep reading and find out what would happen to everyone in the end. I also thought the epilogue was quite intriguing, and very, very unique. So, if you decide to read this book, be sure and read the epilogue!
So, I can’t really recommend this one, unless you are a hardcore zombie fan and don’t mind absurdities as described above, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
So, Kate and Michael are two 20-something roommates and coworkers at Trader Joe’s. During a house party of theirs, there is an outbreak of zombie-ism, that soon spreads throughout the area. Separately, they fight to stay alive and meet up where they believe they will be safeguarded from the zombies: Alcatraz.
First off, in this story, zombie-ism is spread like an STD, through sexual contact. Okay, whatever, kind of weird, but that’s fine. However, this didn’t seem consistent. I read about people randomly turning into zombies left and right without explanation half the time.
A lot of this story was just plain ridiculous. When Kate and Michael first discover that their friends have turned into zombies, they lock them up upstairs, and head downstairs where they put on a zombie movie and fondle each other under a blanket. Ummm…. okay then. Who would be watching a zombie movie while there are zombies upstairs? Wouldn’t you be running away or trying to do something? Apparently not.
Also, the zombies obey commands if you swish a whip in the air… OR, as Kate discovers, if you download an Indiana Jones app to your iPhone that makes a whip sound. They also respond to that. Well… okay… if you say so.
Listen, I for one, am ready for the zombie apocalypse. And guess what I WOULDN’T be doing right in the middle of it? Watching The Night of the Living Dead/caressing my roommate while zombies are upstairs, or downloading apps to my phone and swishing whips all about the place.
Not only was the story absurd and underdeveloped, the writing was quite amateur as well. I can understand that though, as this was the author’s debut novel. I felt this story could have been improved by some better editing.
I will say there were a couple of positive things about this book. I believe that no book is ever completely bad, so I will say that the idea was unique, and she could have gone far with it if she hadn’t made much of the rest of the story just plain absurd. I was interested enough to keep reading and find out what would happen to everyone in the end. I also thought the epilogue was quite intriguing, and very, very unique. So, if you decide to read this book, be sure and read the epilogue!
So, I can’t really recommend this one, unless you are a hardcore zombie fan and don’t mind absurdities as described above, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
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