Claiming the B in LGBT: Illuminating the Bisexual Narrative

by Kate Harrad (Editor), Kate Harrad (Editor), Jacq Applebee (Editor)

Even as the broader LGBT community enjoys political and societal advances in North America, the bisexual community still today contends with decades of misinformation stereotyping them as innately indecisive, self-loathing, and untrustworthy. Claiming the B in LGBT strives to give bisexuals a seat at the table. This guidebook to the history and future of the bisexual movement fuses a chronology of bisexual organizing with essays, poems, and articles detailing the lived experiences of bisexual activities struggling against a dominant culture driven by norms of monosexual attraction, compulsory monogamy, and inflexible notions of gender expression and identity. Kate Harrad's anthology of a thriving identity yearning to realize itself provides a vision of bisexuality that is beyond gay and straight, rather than left to merely occupy the space between.

Genres: Nonfiction, LGBT, Queer, Bisexual, Sexuality, Anthologies, Unfinished

351 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 5, 2018

Reviews

[Lauren · Rating 4 out of 5]

Reading essays that resonant with your own experiences is important self-care.

[Carrie (The Butterfly Reader) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading other people’s experience with bisexuality.

[Sydney · Rating 4 out of 5]

Overall felt it was a solid read, I especially liked the critical perspective provided by the chapters featuring bi POC and bi people with disabilities. I appreciated that it actively addressed and included the experience of trans and non-binary folks as well. However, there were many instances where situations or problems that were discussed focused a lot on relationship orientation (sexual and romantic orientation as well as monogamy/polyamory), visibility, and coming out, but outside of the POC chapter there was almost no mention of how these things could be complicated (for instance, I have read articles elsewhere discussing how a white western focus on "coming out" as end-all-be-all may not make as much sense for POC). I got a sense overall of a mostly white middle class perspective which wasn't really interrogated, but granted, this is often the case for most gay, queer, and trans writing that I've seen.

[Carly Laughlin · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Claiming the B in LGBT" is overall a great book on a variety of issues that affect bisexual people, and I like that it is told from a variety of personal stories rather than one textbook explanation.

My biggest criticism would be the editing, particularly as a bunch of quotes were repeated in one chapter, like it would quote someone as an example of an issue, and then it would use that quote again a few pages later for a different example. There was even a quote attributed to "Kaye" on page 20, and that same quote (expanded) was attributed to "Julie" on page 31. I don't know how the editors missed obvious things like that.

Still, I appreciated the book for having a variety of perspectives, including bi people with disabilities, people of colour, people over 50, and non-binary folks. I would recommend this book to anyone wanting to know more about bisexuality.

[Yooperprof · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very helpful for me as I prepare to deal with bi-phobia and bi-erasure in an LGBTQ/queer history class that I am presently teaching.

My confession: I have taught this course ten times over the last twenty years, but I don't feel that I've ever really adequately dealt with bisexual perspectives and experiences.

Although this is clearly a British book, prepared and written for a readership that is British, I feel that there are sufficient trans-atlantic commonalities to make it a worthwhile read for those interested in North American gender culture and experiences.

[Nisha B. · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was good. It was really informative. I learned a lot. Others may find it boring, especially if they are already familiar with the content.

[Liaken · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a very intelligent book. I was impressed with the broad and inclusive way that it brought in many different threads, including the ace spectrum as well as lots of gender variations. The diversity and spread of the ideas and voices is truly excellent. This is definitely one of the best LGBTQIA+ books I've seen. The way it addresses the complexity of the"b" is meaningful on many levels.

[Diane Billas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed reading this book and learned so much about bisexuality. This book has many stories from individuals that identify as bi on a variety of subjects. It’s such an authentic book and great for those that identify as bi but also would be great for bi allies as a way to learn more about issues that bisexuals face including bi erasure, bi invisibility, and biphobia.

[Audrey Kelley · Rating 5 out of 5]

My first queer read beyond some fiction since I have come out to friends and family. This was really validating and informative. An easy read but a compelling and thorough one! I also appreciated the UK perspective.

[Haiden Baier · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely wonderful. Great information as well as actionable items to continue and begin bi activism

[Alex Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good reader for anyone interested in the Bi experience of life, and throws a lot of light on one of the least visible (but most populous!) parts of the LGBTQI+ community. It is a well curated collection of essays and interviews grouped thematically across many aspects of Bi life and culture, and while the contributors are all UK people, makes a sincere and mostly successful effort to bring in the experience and views of a wide range of people. It also makes a refreshing difference to most other queer writing, which is overwhelmingly North American in perspective. Overall I'd highly recommend it to anyone who has ever been attracted to people of more than one gender, or people wanting to know more about people who are Bi.

[Shannon Rohrer · Rating 4 out of 5]

While there were certainly things that didn't jive with me sprinkled throughout (such as some of the content in the chapter regarding bisexuality in the media, for example) I did enjoy this as a whole. It was informative, relatable, and in all honesty, the kind of thing more people within the LGBT+ should probably become familiar with--because what better way to fix people's perceptions of bisexuality than to start at home?

It touches on so many issues, threading together race, gender, religious affiliation, age, disability and so, so much more, and how these things impact (positively or negatively) the individual's bisexual experience.

Definitely recommended reading.

*Edited Jan 25, 2022*

[Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I haven't read much nonfiction recently. And I don't think I've read any nonfiction about bisexuality, which is obviously an oversight. But I wanted to focus my reading on bi stuff in June for Pride, and I'm glad I was able to fit at least one nonfiction book in so far.

What Worked For Me
The Knowledge: "Claiming the B" definitely felt like it was written and edited by knowledgeable people on the general day-to-day experience of bisexuality, including for a wide variety of people. Particularly living in the UK (the book's UK-based, but most experiences still resonate exactly the same as they would for US-based bi's).

Lots of First-Hand Testimonials: I really liked that we got a lot of different information and experiences of bisexuality in real people's own words, talking about a variety of lived experiences. That seemed like a novel and really helpful way of helping beginners get more educated about bisexuality.

What I Was Neutral On
Intersectionality: "Claiming the B" heavily features consideration for other identity intersections, and how those intersections meaningfully change b people's lived experiences. This is all extremely well-researched and straightforwardly laid out in easy-to-understand ways, including ways that are critical of how inclusive formal bisexual communities can be. Including communities the writers/editors have worked for! And... the focus on intersectionality seemed to be a huge part of the meat of the book. Which, at least to me, didn't feel like a problem (I'm pretty much never going to be upset or mad that something focused on intersectionality or other marginalizations in a void). Moreso that it felt like there wasn't much context or information to give to bisexuality on its own. It almost felt like this book should have been labeled/marketed to be about bisexual intersectionality, since that's what the largest middle chunk of the book was about.

What Wasn't My Thing
Perspective Nitpicks: Overall I really enjoyed and agreed with all the information, and how it was presented. It was great to see different perspectives. But there were a couple small moments while reading where I was like, hmmm, this... could probably have been presented better. I thought putting a chapter in the book about non-monogamy as early as they did, as the first sort of intersectional chapter? Could really give the wrong impression when it comes to challenging the harmful stereotype (that the book itself is even aware of!) that bisexuals are incapable of monogamy. Most of the information in that chapter felt like an in-depth deep dive, geared toward educating people on the basics of non-monogamy. Almost like a guiding map. With only a few acknowledgements that not all bisexual people are non-monogamous. The whole way the chapter was framed, and where it fell in the book, felt really counterproductive to challenging one of the biggest harmful bi stereotypes. There was also a section about labels that felt like it could have been a little more specific, with more information on the history of bi+ labels and how they effect individuals and the larger bi movement. Which brings me to...

Lack of In-Depth History: Maybe this is just personal preference, but I really hoped to get more info on the history of bisexuality in our culture. I know it exists. But this book was, again, very cursory on historical details, while really relying on personal anecdotes and education about intersectionality and the basics of bisexuality. I would personally would have enjoyed more history.

Who This Is For
Even with my nitpicks, this is still a great pick for people who want to know more about bisexuality, whether a bi+ person themselves, someone who has a loved one who's come out as bi, or someone who just wants to know more about the world/be a good ally. And since, as the book notes, most people don't know nearly as much about real-world bisexuality as they think they do, this still isn't a bad pick for even the intermediately-knowledgeable reader. Or bi+ person looking to find more bi lived experiences to hear from and learn about.

Content Warnings
The book does talk about experiences that marginalized people have, including first-hand accounts. But that's probably to be expected. Each chapter includes a content warning list at the beginning of the chapter, so it's easy to know on a chapter-by-chapter basis what you're in for.

My Personal Rating
Still shying away from wanting to rate books like a product; it's not my place to say if a story deserves to exist, and I firmly believe 99% of all art has a place and an audience who needs it. Following my personal rating system just to show how much I personally connected with a given book:

5 stars: I got so invested that it's definitely on my agenda to read other books by this author
4 stars: I would be excited to read another book by this author, but it's not a priority
3 stars: don't plan to read more by this author, but if assigned for a book club, I'd be cool with it
2 stars: don't plan to read more by this author, & if assigned for a book club, I'd be like, ugh, ok, fine
1 star: I will never pick up a book by this author again if I can help it (usually due to overt bigotry)

My personal rating probably is more about the nature of the average nonfiction book, rather than because of any critique. There are few enough people writing nonfiction of bisexuality today that I'd always happily read more, or at least put it on the TBR to read as soon as I'm up to it. But I'm not necessarily overjoyed at the prospect. Just because it's not always exactly a fun read. Especially, for me personally, books that deal with biphobia.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

Glad I read this one during Pride Month, as I now better understand bisexuality, stereotypes about it, and how it intersects with other axes such as gender, age, ability, religion, ethnicity, social class, etc.

A good read for Pride Month.

[Katherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

While it is focusing more on the UK, this book gives a great foundation regarding the lives of bisexuals and what that means both in terms of making them visible to society and accepting them for who they are.

[Jamie Ander · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very important and informative book, I'm glad I read it.

[Ellen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. Pretty comprehensive overview of the different aspects of bisexuality. Loved the inclusion of multiple different bisexual POVs.

[Anna-Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent resource for anyone who does or might identify as bisexual, or anyone who knows someone who identifies as bisexual and wants to be a good ally.

[Caitlin · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m not sure if I learned about very many new facts or ideas, but I sure underlined a lot of things.

[kory. · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book is half lived experiences and half how-to-bisexual. which isn’t exactly my preferred type of bisexual nonfiction. generally it’s okay, but i did make more “i don’t like this” notes than “yes! preach!” notes.

content/trigger warnings; discussions/mentions of biphobia, internalized biphobia, homophobia, lesbophobia, ableism, internalized ableism, medical ableism, illnesses, transphobia, nonbinary-phobia, racism, coming out, rape, corrective rape, sexual assault, sexual harassment, sexism, aphobia, terfs, doxxing, harassment, stalking, lesbian separatism, hiv/aids, sex, kink, religion,

i appreciate the stress that’s put on labels being descriptive choices individuals make for themselves, and when imposed by others they’re harmful, as well as how the same label can mean different things to different people and different labels can mean the same thing to different people. it’s nice to see more confirmation of bisexuality not having one set official definition, which challenges the basis of most panphobia. i really love the defense of the term bi-curious, as well as girls who kiss each other in front of guys; curiosity is good and don’t judge someone else’s experience that you know nothing about.

i like the criticism of the idea that “everyone is a little bisexual”, as well as the clarification that bisexuality and fluid sexuality aren’t the same thing. the commentary on not entering a type of relationship you aren’t happy or interested in just because your partner wants it is very much needed, considering how many people genuinely think ending a relationship because you both want different things that can’t be compromised on indicates a lack of love or compassion. i also like that aspec identities get a bit of deeper dive than i’m used to in queer books.

and lastly, this quote that made me want to read this book: “typically, bisexuality is presented as an umbrella term—attraction to two or more genders—which encompasses other multi-gender attractions, both sexual and romantic (we’ll cover the differences between the two later in this chapter). pansexuality and polysexuality fall within this umbrella, meaning all pansexual and polysexual people also have access to the term ‘bisexual’— if they so choose.” it’s the only time i’ve seen the bisexual umbrella worded this way, with it being positioned as a resource and opening for other mspec people, if they want it. it’s always just forced on us, whether we want it or find it helpful or not, so this wording is appreciated. language matters, and something as small as this makes a world of a difference.

now. the things i don’t like.

i disagree with “passing privilege”, “monosexual privilege”, assigning the bisexual label to people based on their behavior, suggesting non-monogamy as a solution to cheating, and treating bisexual as the default mspec identity. a lot of the language in the book is “gay/straight/bisexual” even though the editors and contributors are well aware of the fact that those are not the only sexualities. gay as an umbrella is criticized because it’s illogical to use one identity as an umbrella for many, yet bisexual is argued as an umbrella term.

the “still bisexual” campaign is suggested if you’re looking for bisexual people telling their own stories, and wow, i did not know that was run by one of the authors of the bisexual’s guide to the universe, a book that states pansexual is a “nonsensical” “word that means bi” and includes “maybe kitchen utensils” in the definition of it. yikes.

i’m just gonna say it. the section where pansexual is defined and discussed is panphobic. pansexual is defined correctly, but the rest of the section is dedicated to clearing up the idea that bisexual is binary (as always with these kinds of books), sharing two problematic takes on pansexuality (pansexual being more inclusive/less binary than bisexual and “hearts not parts”), and the one other example of why someone might identify as pansexual is still about bisexual being binary (the person doesn’t think bisexual is binary, but others do, so they strategically use pansexual to signal nonbinary inclusion/awareness). i am so beyond tired of discussions about pansexuality through a bisexual lens; they always lack nuance and fairness. nowhere in this section is anything that i’ve seen being discussed by the majority of the pansexual community in more recent years (this book is from 2018).

not only is queer referred to as being a slur before an identity (incorrect), but someone claims it’s “basic human compassion” for queer-identified people to not use queer around people who might have trauma with it. if you have trauma with the word queer, it’s your responsibility to navigate that in queer (or ~lgbt*q*+ spaces). it is not queer-identified people’s responsibility to change or censor their identity/the language they use for it on the off chance that someone around them might have so much trauma with the word that they don’t even want people self-identifying as it. this book reiterates that self-identification should be respected, but i guess not so much when it comes to certain terms, huh? funny how i’ve never seen this kind of discourse over the word dyke.

also, i’m gonna need people to stop using activists from the ‘70s and ‘80s as their “oh maybe be careful using queer around them” talking point, because who the fuck do you think did the reclaiming of queer? they assume they had the word shouted at them at rallies as a form of violence and therefor aren’t comfortable even so much as hearing someone self-identify as it, but what about the people who were proudly chanting “we’re here, we’re queer, get used to it”? what about the people who embraced the term, and had done so decades before the reclamation of it? there’s just as much a chance that those people either reclaimed or supported the reclamation of queer, as there is that they had it weaponized against them and are uncomfortable with other people identifying as it.

next is the chapter on representation. some characters discussed aren’t even bisexual, such as frank underwood (unlabeled mspec), and while jack harkness has been labeled bisexual, he has also been labeled omnisexual and pansexual, but the latter labels are never mentioned in the book. there’s criticism of bisexual representation where the word isn’t used, and while the specific example is a character who is based on a real bisexual person, i still don’t like framing any mspec character that doesn’t use the word bisexual as being a “biphobic pitfall”. another so called “pitfall” is when the word is used out of text, but i don’t like not even bothering to look at that with nuance. out of text confirmation is valid representation and does not inherently indicate biphobia (or any other -phobia depending on the specific representation). in text label use can be a goal, but it doesn’t mean anything else is worthless.

it’s also argued in the book that out of text confirmation is an example of queerbaiting, which they define as “implying either in the text or in commentary same-gender desire between characters, but never following through on it by depicting a real relationship”. that’s not quite accurate. queerbaiting is explicitly baiting (and even in some cases promising) queer representation in order to gain queer viewers with no intention of following through. it’s not simply implied queerness (for example, queer coding and queerbaiting are different things), nor is it specific to relationships (individual characters can be baited as queer, without a specific relationship attached to it; relationships aren’t the only way of explicitly representing queerness).

lastly, i have a complicated relationship with criticism of willow’s sexuality on buffy. i think the criticism should be leveled at joss whedon, who didn’t want to deal with biphobic responses to willow being bisexual if she dated a guy after tara, so he decided she would be gay. he prioritized biphobia over bisexual people. that should be criticized, willow being gay shouldn’t. in canon, there is nothing that makes her being gay less believable or important than if she had been bisexual. a lot of the criticism of willow’s sexuality from bisexual people tends to focus on her having “meaningful” relationships with men (which is said in this book, but realizing she’s gay doesn’t retroactively change how she once felt. her feelings were what they were, and now they’re different. what happened to sexuality being fluid?), as well as how important her being bisexual would’ve been (which feels lesbophobic. is gay representation less important?).

all in all, the book isn’t anything groundbreaking for me. it’s just okay.

[Charles H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Definitely a useful book. I didn't read it cover to cover, as some of the chapters don't really pertain to me, but what I did read was informative and helpful (and often well-written and occasionally even funny, too).

[Javiera Hernández · Rating 3 out of 5]

It’s a good book to understand the struggles of the bisexual people, but the data and facts are a little old. It’s a good way to start the conversations with a lot of people talking with their own stories

[Abby Day · Rating 3 out of 5]

i think this was a good and educational book to read! i definitely skimped over some parts that i wasn’t as interested in / didn’t apply to me but one of my first non fiction / lgbtq+ reads in a long time so was enjoyable

[Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

A solid book about the B in LGBTQIA+. The largest yet most often ignored and stigmatized group even by other queer folks, it’s a good primer into the lives of bisexuals. This book is for the newly curious, the allies and the friends/family of bisexuals.

[Bob Lendzinski · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent book for understanding the bi community, for resources for bi individuals, and for anyone who is an ally.

[Emily]

I don't like the format of this

[Heather Key · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this year's ago. I could identify with some of the observations. I would recommend it as a audio book it's a concentrated read.

[Kazen · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

[Mills College Library]

306.76509 C585 2018