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Christmas Dreams
Kid Christmas Rides Again
These are the epic adventures of Kid Christmas! The unthinkable has happened: the Jolly Old Elf himself keeled over, and the Committee to Oversee the Christening of Kringle (COCK) had to find a replacement. Enter the Kid: a lot more fit, a little less clumsy, and quite a sight in that tight red uniform. His mission to deliver Christmas around the world is threatened as he fights the evil Snow Globes, but all is not lost as he escapes traps, finds love (and more love, and more love) with Johnny Longjohns, and stops at a disco on his quest to reclaim his magic sled, the Claus 3000. Hold on tight: this humorous romp may have you spitting your eggnog!
64 pages, ebook
First published January 1, 2009
4 people are currently reading
155 people want to read
About the author
Eric Arvin
47 books565 followersEric Arvin resided in the same sleepy Indiana river town where he grew up. He graduated from Hanover College with a Bachelors in History. He has lived, for brief periods, in Italy and Australia. He has survived brain surgery and his own loud-mouthed personal demons. Eric is the author of WOKE UP IN A STRANGE PLACE, THE MINGLED DESTINIES OF CROCODILES & MEN, SUBSURDITY, SIMPLE MEN, and various other sundry and not-so-sundry writings.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
November 22, 2012
I died laughing the entire time I read this and I read excerpts out loud to my straight roommate because I wanted to share. The illustrations were AWESOME! Arvin is a very versatile writer. Not many can write slapstick humor and have it actually be funny.
January 9, 2014
It may no longer have been Christmas when I read this book, and even less as I write this review, but the holidays went by so quickly and I really wanted to read it. As it happens, it may have a Christmas (or rather Santa) theme, but the humor and much of what it says about modern society as well as some gay men's view of the world, is an all-year affair. The blurb calls it an "epic adventure" and that is exactly what I got, including some hilarious interjections from the Narrator throughout the story. This novella made me laugh right from the opening paragraph: "The idea was simple: change the public perception of Santa Claus. Even if it hadn’t been the right thing to do—even if the holiday hadn’t become a gluttonous season of toothrotting fervor—it was still the only thing that could be done. After all, Santa as the world had known him had just died of a massive coronary." After such a brilliant opening I was ready to delve in and laugh my head off – and I did.
Kid Christmas (a fan of westerns, hence the name, or so we are told) is the guy elected to take over from the old, sadly departed Santa. Everything is going to be changed, including the Santa suit which is much too tight to accommodate certain, ahem, features of the new Santa. New transportation is acquired, and the Kid is just about ready to go when he is kidnapped by the evil villain Snow Globes.
What follows is a wild sequence of events with sexual encounters at every turn. The Kid meets a set of North Pole inhabitants as he first escapes, then attempts to have his revenge on the villainous villain. Helpers from unexpected corners join the fray, and fun is had by all. Several times!
Make no mistake, this is not a fluffy male/male romance, nor is it a deeply thoughtfu character study. It isn’t even a realistic book. What it offers is a sense of adventure as found in the best superhero stories, more raw, raunchy sex and constant innuendo than you can shake a stick at, and a somewhat unexpected, but in my case entirely welcome, happy end. So, be warned. If you are not a fan of hyperbole, gangbangs, and the impossible happening as if it were normal, then you should probably stay away from this book. If, on the other hand, you are ready to have a good laugh, have your eyes pop out at the craziness of Kid Christmas's sexual escapades, and if you want to know what some people imagine goes on at the North Pole, then you should go for it. Bring your sense of humor, a stiff drink, and enough time to read this in one go, and I am sure you'll have fun.
Kid Christmas (a fan of westerns, hence the name, or so we are told) is the guy elected to take over from the old, sadly departed Santa. Everything is going to be changed, including the Santa suit which is much too tight to accommodate certain, ahem, features of the new Santa. New transportation is acquired, and the Kid is just about ready to go when he is kidnapped by the evil villain Snow Globes.
What follows is a wild sequence of events with sexual encounters at every turn. The Kid meets a set of North Pole inhabitants as he first escapes, then attempts to have his revenge on the villainous villain. Helpers from unexpected corners join the fray, and fun is had by all. Several times!
Make no mistake, this is not a fluffy male/male romance, nor is it a deeply thoughtfu character study. It isn’t even a realistic book. What it offers is a sense of adventure as found in the best superhero stories, more raw, raunchy sex and constant innuendo than you can shake a stick at, and a somewhat unexpected, but in my case entirely welcome, happy end. So, be warned. If you are not a fan of hyperbole, gangbangs, and the impossible happening as if it were normal, then you should probably stay away from this book. If, on the other hand, you are ready to have a good laugh, have your eyes pop out at the craziness of Kid Christmas's sexual escapades, and if you want to know what some people imagine goes on at the North Pole, then you should go for it. Bring your sense of humor, a stiff drink, and enough time to read this in one go, and I am sure you'll have fun.
January 13, 2018
I pretty much laughed my ass off from start to finish, what a wild ride! I'm not sure this is something for everyone but if you like slapstick and don't mind slutty content you may find this hilarious like I did. If this type of humor is your thing I say leave reality at the door and spend an hour or so laughing your ass off. PS....the illustrations were enough to make me lose it!
February 3, 2011
The blurb pretty much says it all. Kid Christmas, the new Santa with his spanking new catch phrase of “Hells yeah” (Ho Ho Ho is so old school) is kidnapped by the evil Snow Globes who plans to destroy Christmas. Despite facing a variety of obstacles including a villain made of ice, a giant disembodied snow phallus, the Abdominable Snowmen with amazing six packs, a hoard of ice dildos who worship his magnificent behind and an orgy at the disco, with the help of former underwear model Johnny Longjohns he is out to save Christmas. Kid’s heart is in the right place, he’s just a bit of a slut and not all that bright.
This book is a total lark. It’s not meant to be taken the LEAST bit seriously. It’s over the top in every way possible and had me snorting several times. The narrator knows he’s talking directly to you, winking and nudging you along with the puns and bad jokes. The drawings are all by the cover artist and there are several through the book that depict the story as it goes. This is the only one I could post that’s not X-rated. For those who enjoy this style of art I think they will appreciate this. I loved that they just weren’t random drawings but actual depictions of the action, and I mean action. :-)
If you like your romance, more romantic, this may not be for you. Kid’s not too fussy who he sleeps with, until he finally grabs a clue at the end, before that he’s a man on a mission, to save Christmas while getting a bit sidetracked by orgasm after orgasm. So do you need some humour and lightness in your day with a touch of holiday spirit? Then this is the book for you. Great fun.
This book is a total lark. It’s not meant to be taken the LEAST bit seriously. It’s over the top in every way possible and had me snorting several times. The narrator knows he’s talking directly to you, winking and nudging you along with the puns and bad jokes. The drawings are all by the cover artist and there are several through the book that depict the story as it goes. This is the only one I could post that’s not X-rated. For those who enjoy this style of art I think they will appreciate this. I loved that they just weren’t random drawings but actual depictions of the action, and I mean action. :-)
If you like your romance, more romantic, this may not be for you. Kid’s not too fussy who he sleeps with, until he finally grabs a clue at the end, before that he’s a man on a mission, to save Christmas while getting a bit sidetracked by orgasm after orgasm. So do you need some humour and lightness in your day with a touch of holiday spirit? Then this is the book for you. Great fun.
November 9, 2013
I wasn't sure what to think when I started reading this book...The text was Eric Arvin so I felt I was in safe hands 'textually speaking'. Having a PhD I worked out from the cover that it might be naughty...I read it in one go (it isn't that long...) and it was a riot!! Eric Arvin is the king of carnal alliteration,(unfortunately I'm not). '...frenzied phalluses of frightening fury.' and '...meat-rack marauders.' and again 'Damn my delicious derriere!' I was actually shouting out loud 'No, I don't believe it!' but yes just when you think he can't...Eric pushes it further. The comic book illustrations are very erotic but (and many may think I'm mad) with the comical expressions, the only thing these overly endowed men wore, no way could you take offense they were just so tongue in cheek... I will end by saying (and risk ruining any reputation I may still hang on to)that my favourite pic is of the sweetest disembodied penis looking through a window longingly at...well you'll have to read it to find out!
July 22, 2016
It was so much fun reading this zany Christmas story. Love the author's sense of humor!
January 4, 2016
Oh Mr. Arvin, you are a sick, twisted, and pervy boy... and I loved every word of it.
Kid Christmas is Santa's replacement. He is muscle bound and a little (okay a LOT) slutty. Don't worry no elves were harmed in the writing of this story, but I have 2 words for you ice dildo... oh and gang bang... or you can choose snow globes... Oh hell. I can't decide ;)
Some of my favorite parts were the author/narrator commentary.
Read it, laugh your ass off and enjoy :)
If you are looking for heartwarming and traditional, look elsewhere.
Kid Christmas is Santa's replacement. He is muscle bound and a little (okay a LOT) slutty. Don't worry no elves were harmed in the writing of this story, but I have 2 words for you ice dildo... oh and gang bang... or you can choose snow globes... Oh hell. I can't decide ;)
Some of my favorite parts were the author/narrator commentary.
Read it, laugh your ass off and enjoy :)
If you are looking for heartwarming and traditional, look elsewhere.
September 3, 2014
I AM A PERVY READER!!! This was disturbingly fun. Just when I thought it couldn't get more outrageous...it did. Read Tam and LA's reviews to know EXACTLY what you're getting into. Leave you serious hat at the door and enjoy the slutty ride! :D
January 16, 2014
This book was soooo much fun to read! I love Eric's humor, it's right up my alley. The story was so cute as well, I mean what's not to love about a whorish Santa (who is maybe reformed) and his minions of Willies (animated ice penises)?
February 11, 2012
It's like reading a novel written by a gay Terry Pratchett. Go figure. I wish there's a sequel. :)
March 2, 2017
Daft. Over the Top. Mad. Fantasy. Lots of words can describe this but reading this totally daft sex infested ride will definitely get a smile on the face! And my new words for the day are Musculus bumulus!
A talent taken too early. One to read when you want no reality, sex and a giggle.
A talent taken too early. One to read when you want no reality, sex and a giggle.
January 11, 2017
This is some of the silliest, most over-the-top PWP (with pictures!) I've ever read! I think I need to read some other Eric Arvin to really see his writing style, but this was pretty fun!
November 11, 2017
It was funny
and slutty
and cute.
Nice fun quicky.
Cute little ice dildo.
and slutty
and cute.
Nice fun quicky.
Cute little ice dildo.
November 26, 2018
Short and easy read. Outlandish... I mean snow Willies?
This is definitely the craziest Christmas story I've ever read. And I doubt there will ever be any thing like it....
This is definitely the craziest Christmas story I've ever read. And I doubt there will ever be any thing like it....
December 15, 2024
What a crazy ride. Not your typical Christmas read. It's more PWP than anything else but insanely funny and well written. Not to be taken seriously, mind you.
January 11, 2017
4 Stars
...for the sheer delicious cracktasticness. (HA!)
...for the sheer delicious cracktasticness. (HA!)
December 17, 2010
This is a very silly piece of festive erotica, with some delightfully filthy illustrations. Kid Christmas is the new Santa, but every man, super-villain, abdominal snowman (and that is the correct spelling!) and sentient ice-dildo wants a piece of his delectably muscular rear. Our slutty hero spends an awful lot of time with his bum in the air…
There were times when the authorial intrusion was a little grating, but if you enjoy madcap gay erotica and don’t go expecting any depth you’ll enjoy this short read. And there’s a sort of romance there, despite all the gang banging.
There were times when the authorial intrusion was a little grating, but if you enjoy madcap gay erotica and don’t go expecting any depth you’ll enjoy this short read. And there’s a sort of romance there, despite all the gang banging.
August 11, 2013
This is the hilarious story (with illustrations) of Kid Christmas (Santa's replacement) who is kidnapped and must do anything and anyone to find his way back to the North Pole before Christmas.
Another entertaining read by Eric Arvin.
Full review can be found at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.
Another entertaining read by Eric Arvin.
Full review can be found at On Top Down Under Book Reviews.
December 4, 2012
The "Merry Mo" and his "musculus bumulus" were all kinds of naughty in this holiday tall tale. The narration had me laughing and the illustrations *whewooo!* had me all hot and bothered. I wish Kid Christmas and his "snuggle snake" many more happy, horny holiday adventures!
I am eagerly awaiting the animated musical version of this story! Somebody--make it so!
March 11, 2014
This was a extremely funny and very porny book. I LOVED it! I was laughing all the way through and a few times my eyebrows went clear into my hair..and a "wow" came out! What my sister calls my 'dirty chuckle' came out many times too.Excellent writing and I loved the narrative that runs through the story. ;)
December 9, 2012
4.5 This book was recommended to me by a good friend who said to read it when I need a good laugh. Well that is exactly what I got from this riot of a Christmas story!!! It was a hilarious laugh out loud read. What great fun and another wonderful story from Mr. Arvin :)
December 16, 2013
More naughty, refusing-to-take-itself-seriously, debauched good times. This is a new author to me, and from what I have seen he writes a lot of tongue in cheek (watch out now!) as he's done in this book. It was a sexy adventure, short but quite funny. Will be checking out more from this author!
January 2, 2014
What can I say about this story... it was wild, weird, wacky, goofy, silly, smutty, cute, naughty, irreverent, sweet, and fun!
Kinda of what you would expect from the mind of Eric Arvin! I enjoyed it, I think!
Kinda of what you would expect from the mind of Eric Arvin! I enjoyed it, I think!
February 13, 2011
I can see where some would like this, but unfortunately it wasn't my style. I never really took to it.
December 27, 2011
Absurd & funny
March 30, 2015
Whilst it's not really to my tastes, I could see the fun in this bawdy tale and why some would thoroughly enjoy every, um, cream-filled moment of it.
January 27, 2014
Absurd raunchy fun! Do not read this with anything but a desire to laugh and maybe be titillated.
December 20, 2013
It made me laugh till I was totally breathless!! Amazing & enjoyable.
December 18, 2014
I debated whether or not I should create a smutty smut bookshelf just for this one. It was cheesy and funny and outlandish and wonderful. Very funny Eric Arvin!
July 27, 2016
A silly but cute read.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews