The Truth Hurts

by Wayne Carey, Charles Happell

In the world of Australian football, no-one has been more notorious than Wayne Carey. Once hailed as The King, and widely acclaimed as one of the greatest footballers of his generation, Carey fell from the highest pinnacle of the game to the lowest of lows. From his brutal upbringing in Wagga Wagga to his early teen years where he discovered his love of, and talent for, football, Wayne's candid story of his early life reveals much about the man who has dominated headlines for more than a decade – first for his brilliance on the field, but more often for his troubled personal life.

Covering the highs of his glory days at North Melbourne to his public downfall after his affair with his vice-captain's wife, Carey's memoir is extraordinarily honest. It is self-searching and searing in its examination of his own behaviour and its effects on those around him. His departure from North Melbourne marked the end of King Carey, and the beginning of a decline that was to see him bailed up in jail in both the US and Australia. His life became a train wreck, as he lurched from one disastrous incident to the next – from his serial infidelity to massive alcohol binges and a growing cocaine addiction – each played out on the front page of every newspaper in the country. This is the story of how a man can reach rock bottom, but begin to haul himself up again.

The truth sets you free – but it can hurt. This is without doubt the most powerful sporting memoir ever published in Australia.

Genres: Nonfiction, Biography

408 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[J.D · Rating 3 out of 5]

When Duck claimed that he had an indiscretion with a teammates wife, at a teammates house, whilst at a gathering with all his teammates, just to get her to leave him alone, I compared that to Ben Cousins statement that getting a hypodermic needle for medicinal purposes from the footy club was a psychosomatic, subliminal message to his mind and body that drugs were good, ergo, take drugs. Narcissists don’t take responsibility, for anything. Pretty much a memoir on how nothing was really his fault, and what was, was just loveable rogue stuff.
Amazing footballer, dragged a perennially fringe club to the promised land, twice. Then blew his legacy with illicit sex and drugs and domestic violence. His failings were more telling than his talents. To borrow a quote from John Singleton, who said about Andrew Johns, another extraordinarily gifted player; ‘So brave on the field. So gutless off it!’

[Helen Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

In a society obsessed with social media and celebrities we often think we know a person simply because they're in the public eye. This couldn't be further from the truth. A person is much more complex than that. This definitely applies to football legend Wayne Carey. The notorious player is now infamous is the world of AFL. His name has become synonymous as a cheater. Carey grew up in a family of 5 children plagued by domestic violence. Carey's father was an alcoholic, violent and abusive father who the children tried to escape from many times. Living in constant fear and torture the children were unable to see their own mother for 7 years. At the tender of age 16 Carey entered the world of elite & professional AFL with a bright and successful future, becoming a captain of North Melbourne at only 21. As his career and personal troubles plagued the headlines Carey's reputation and fall from grace become to take over his life. In this raw and candid memoir Carey is a complex man with multi dimensions, he sheds deep insight into his past mistakes battling with alcohol and drugs and the height of his football career. Before we judge him Carey's honest and powerful voice needs to be heard.


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[Karen Brooks · Rating 3 out of 5]

I had to read this book for work and, with that in mind, I approached it with reluctance. It is not the type of book I would read through choice. Having said that, I found it compelling. It's not well written, it is a sad and pathetic story in many ways (Wayne Carey's childhood is shocking) that, as it continues, just gets worse. Despite being given opportunities, love, money, and the chance to shine ( which he did - he dazzled), Carey sabotages all the chances he is given every step of the way. Taking responsibility for his massive fall and the misfortunes he invites, it's hard not to finish the book frustrated by what you've just read. Words are one thing, actions are another. This book is, in a way, both. It's also a public act of contrition that is hard to swallow. But that doesn't make it less fascinating - particularly as a study of what NOT to do. From Hero to zero ....

[B.T. Hogan · Rating 3 out of 5]

I generally like autobiographies, particularly by those that have lead interesting lives and have something substantial to say as a result. With some exceptions, memoirs by athletes are skull-crushingly boring. When the latest AFL retiree launches his life story, I can rarely summon the effort to get too excited, let alone actually want to sit down and read it.

Despite being a Kangaroos fan for the better part of three decades, the fact that Wayne Carey had penned his memoirs and released them over a decade ago went unnoticed by me. It was only after a discussion at work over Carey's extra-curricular activities that a colleague sent me an excerpt from said memoirs. It happened to be the story of Wayne running into personal hero Mike Tyson at a hotel in Las Vegas that I sampled. It was clumsily written yet engaging at the same time - a consistent tone throughout the entire book.

Those looking for an in-depth account of his on-field accomplishments might be disappointed - these get a fairly cursory mention, in between all the boozing and philandering and general oafish behaviour that he became (in)famous for. Carey's childhood gets a thorough examining, and in reading it it is pretty clear that his upbringing was both unusual and punctuated with sadness and cruelty due to an overbearing father.

I do wonder, though, if Carey is giving us the absolute truth when he breaks down his many documented ugly incidents that ended his career and those that followed in retirement from the game. It felt like at times he tweaked the stories to absolve himself and deflect blame.

All in all, not a bad yarn about one of the all-time greats of the game, and one of the all-time idiots away from it. The saddest part about the book that I came away with was that it feels like he squandered an enormous amount of talent, and all in the name of a fleeting 'good time'. The question is, was it worth all the trouble? Only Duck can truly answer this.

[Gregory Thompson · Rating 3 out of 5]

The Lesson is that sports teams need to help their players better transitions to a post-playing life

I am not a huge Wayne Carey fan but was interested in getting his perspective on his non-football exploits as much as what he did on the field. To his credit, Carey does not pull any punches or try to shirk responsibility for his actions. I did not realize how tough his childhood was - and this probably explains (but not forgive) much of his later behavior. Further, the coddled life of an elite athlete also allows him to avoid responsibility for his actions - so long as he performs on game day.
If there is a lesson in the book, it is that sports teams (no matter the code) need to help their players better transition to a post playing life. It seems that Carey has received a second chance and is taking it - becoming a responsible member of society. He should be commended for writing a book that is brutally honest and accepting responsibility for his actions.

[Tony · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great biography, written with brave honesty. I remember reading it when it was first published in 2009 and I really enjoyed it then but the reread was just as good if not better! He covers all the highs and lows in his career as well as his personal life, and while I felt no sympathy for him I did come away with an understanding. I don't think you need to be an AFL fan to enjoy the book as I am sure everyone will get something from reading it.

[Sharon · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book should be sub-titles "lessons from a slow learner' because at one stage of his life, that surely is what Mr Carey was.
The first couple of chapters detail a childhood that can only be described as brutal, harsh and nasty. A childhood, which as Wayne himself admits, led at times to make decisions that were not wise later on in life.
The next few chapters, describe life as a rising AFL player, and a accomplished one. To read what he was doing to himself while off the field, makes one wonder how brilliant could he have been without the booze and mistakes made while under the influnce of booze.
Sadly it was in this and the following chapters of the book, that I found myself of getting neck strain from the amount of head shaking I was doing at his stupidity, the most outstanding one being having a affair with a team mates wife (which forced him to leave the club, about the only honourable thing he did in the whole event)
Mind you, it does take two to tango as they say, and the woman he was having the affair with, well I won't even bother you with my opinion, she isn't worth the time to type the things I could say about the dumb, tasteless b***h.(that is a mild version of what I think of her)
Wayne's ex Sally is amazing to me. Amazing that someone who was as lovely, beautiful and as well supported as she was by her family, tolerated her husbands antics. The smartest thing she ever could have done was turn Wayne's amrriage proposal down flat, it would have saved her some wasted years, and a heck of a lot of heart ache.
Mind you would think after doing that dumb he would improve, but no, he adds drugs to the mix, and basically becomes involved at one point with a woman he shouldn't have. A woman who was into the party and drug scene as well, leading him to further get into more trouble. Incredible.
It is only in the last 2/3 chapters that we see Wayne start to realise that the life he is living is just not the way to live, and begin to take responsability for the mistakes he has made, and go to get help. This is the saving grace for the book in a manner, as without it, I really would have given this book a lot lower rating
Dennis Pagin told Wayne at one point, that the two biggest things that will always get a man in trouble, are woman and alcohol. Dennis should also said drugs, and if Wayne had listened, he would have saved himself a lot of trouble.
I was never a big fan of this man before I read the book, and I still am not, but at least in reading this book, I have Wayne Carey's side of the story, and that is fair enough. I now have the right to make a informed judgement of him, and I have.
The guy is a wanker for what he did in the past, and I will not forgive him.
Not that I think he cares, why would he?

[Chris · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting insight into a wide variety of subjects, including elite level sport, domestic violence, drugs, mental illness and much more.

Although Carey seems genuinely remorseful of some of his past actions, the remorse itself seems to also become a bit of a get out of jail card.

I wish him well though as he genuinely seems to be trying.

[Ian Kloester · Rating 4 out of 5]

Enjoyed this story. I had no idea of the challenges Wayne faced as a child and how this must have impacted who he became. I read it straight through in just a couple of sittings. Is he telling us everything? I doubt it, but don't let that put you off. If you have ever marveled at the man either on or off the field, you might find this as compelling to read as I did.

[Rowlie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent read. Really gives an insight into what was going on in this man's life from a very young age. I have now changed my opinion of him. Well done Wayne for the brutal honesty you shared with us.

[Niki Jacobs · Rating 2 out of 5]

Great read up until he left North, plops from the day he left onwards.. Privileged white guy screwing over his best friend, getting on drugs and beating his girlfriend and then writing as a victim give it a spell mate

[Phillip · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book really gave me a good understanding on just how tough his childhood was and how his dad treated his family.

[Kylie Monaghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Meh

[David Fitzgerald · Rating 1 out of 5]

Give me a break!

[Matt · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars.

An interesting book that I am happy to have read. The writing had room for improvement but that didn't take away from the fascinating story.

[Mary Playford · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5