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D. H. Lawrence: The Story of a Marriage
Drawing on nearly 2,000 previously unpublished letters, Brenda Maddox presents a rich and startlingly new portrait of D. H. Lawrence: a hilarious mimic, a lover of nature, an inspired teacher, a brilliant journalist, an ecological visionary, and, above all - a married man. This award-winning work examines Lawrence's perplexing, restless life through the greatest contradiction in it - his marriage - taking it not just as another aspect of Lawrence but as the encompassing whole. His marriage to Frieda von Richthofen Weekley was a mismatch made in heaven, and yet it lasted until the tubercular Lawrence lost his heroic struggle for life, a struggle in which, he told Frieda, "nothing mattered but you." Or so she claimed.
656 pages, Paperback
First published November 1, 1994
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Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews
May 22, 2013
A far better book than expected. A thoughtful and controversial exploration of the life of D.H. Lawrence focusing on his marriage to Frieda and his basically suppressed homoerotic, or homosexual, tendencies in respect to his long non-monogamous marriage to the love of his life. I offer a different perspective on this subject as Brenda Maddox instilled in me a new passion for learning all I can about Lawrence, and in this arduous but interesting process, I learn about myself. My full thoughts and review can be found here:
http://msarki.tumblr.com/post/5106160...
http://msarki.tumblr.com/post/5106160...
September 25, 2023
Well-written bio about an author whose writing style I've never had a liking for (that plays into the rating), a sometimes hateful fellow with a few peculiar notions. (Oddly, I'm reading a bio of Ibsen at the same time, and he and Lawrence wanted countries led by autocrats with no voice for the "mob.") Maddox does a good job of portraying Frieda as well as Lawrence. Best for those who truly like DHL's writing.
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September 1, 2021This engrossing doorstep of a biography focuses on the eighteen years of D.H. Lawrence’s relationship with Frieda, his former tutor’s striking, ebullient, promiscuous German wife. Lawrence was probably attracted by her lack of inhibition and belief in free expression which she had picked up via a previous lover from continental thinkers like Nietzsche and Freud, in such sharp contrast to the narrow, Congregational chapel world of the Nottinghamshire mining community in which he had grown up.
In turn, Frieda believed herself to be nurturing and inspiring his genius as a writer, arguing after his death that, if he had married his first girlfriend Jessie Chambers, he would never have been more than “a little local poet, a watered down Thomas Hardy”.
For those who admired Frieda, there seem to have been more who regarded her as a very damaging influence on him, even to the point of contributing to his death by failing to use common sense and insisting on obtaining proper treatment for the tuberculosis which he denied for years, almost to the end. Admittedly, he could only tolerate life in a sanatorium for a fortnight when he eventually admitted defeat. Apart from her frequent infidelities which Lawrence seemed to tolerate, her worst fault seems to have been provoking him quite knowingly into the savage bursts of anger in which he beat her, even in front of visitors and friends. This, together with the undeniable misogyny in some of his later writing, plus his preoccupation with male dominance in marriage, triggered the condemnation of the 1970s feminist movement, as represented by Kate Millett.
As a result, Lawrence now remains well-known, but not particularly revered, so it is interesting to learn how quickly and easily he gained initial recognition, although his growing fame was fed by the notoriety of his later work, culminating in “Lady Chatterley’s Lover”, banned in both England and America, which it is disappointing to learn was written simply to earn as much as possible quickly when he knew he was dying. Apart from his main rival James Joyce, Lawrence was admired by famous writers like E.M. Forster and Aldous Huxley, although many were offended by his habit of including them undisguised, but often caricatured in his novels. They were repelled by the too frequent violent outbursts which made even friends doubt his sanity at times.
This could of course be attributed to his frequent ill health, and the suppressed knowledge that he had a disease which caused him considerable pain, and would kill him prematurely. When he was a child, his mother’s possessiveness, heightened by the need to nurse him through a long illness, and generally to protect him from infection, must have affected his emotional development. Her bitter contempt for her husband, which she encouraged her children to share, must also have damaged Lawrence’s ability to form stable relationships, but author Brenda Maddox does not explore these aspects much.
Lawrence is fascinating in his dual personality. Many found him charismatic, charming and entertaining, although his skilful mimicry must have been insensitive at times. He was industrious, with many practical skills, often generous with his time and money, when he had it, to help others. Yet he could also be cruel, abusive, sharp-tongued, dogmatic and opinionated to the degree that one might question how “good” a writer he really was when he committed some of his bizarre, often confused, ideas to print.
A restless wanderer to Italy, Ceylon, Australia or the high plains of the US state of New Mexico and Mexico itself in search of the pure air at high altitudes to ease his lungs, Lawrence gained the material for his memorable travel writing. His keen observation of nature and animals (which did not prevent his vicious beating of a pet dog) produced some striking poetry: “A snake came to my water-trough….” . “Sons and Lovers” is an enduring classic, although a clear example of the degree to which he drew on his own experience, in the process misrepresenting his relationship with Jessie Chambers, which he would justify by arguing that “art is not life”, even if it draws on real people for inspiration.
His later work, as summarised and quoted from in this book, often appears too farcical, perhaps intentionally, produced too quickly, with a loss of his earlier more subtle and considered style.
But whatever one’s view of his work, Lawrence and Frieda remain an intriguing couple, rattling through their world of evocative places and famous names from the past.
In turn, Frieda believed herself to be nurturing and inspiring his genius as a writer, arguing after his death that, if he had married his first girlfriend Jessie Chambers, he would never have been more than “a little local poet, a watered down Thomas Hardy”.
For those who admired Frieda, there seem to have been more who regarded her as a very damaging influence on him, even to the point of contributing to his death by failing to use common sense and insisting on obtaining proper treatment for the tuberculosis which he denied for years, almost to the end. Admittedly, he could only tolerate life in a sanatorium for a fortnight when he eventually admitted defeat. Apart from her frequent infidelities which Lawrence seemed to tolerate, her worst fault seems to have been provoking him quite knowingly into the savage bursts of anger in which he beat her, even in front of visitors and friends. This, together with the undeniable misogyny in some of his later writing, plus his preoccupation with male dominance in marriage, triggered the condemnation of the 1970s feminist movement, as represented by Kate Millett.
As a result, Lawrence now remains well-known, but not particularly revered, so it is interesting to learn how quickly and easily he gained initial recognition, although his growing fame was fed by the notoriety of his later work, culminating in “Lady Chatterley’s Lover”, banned in both England and America, which it is disappointing to learn was written simply to earn as much as possible quickly when he knew he was dying. Apart from his main rival James Joyce, Lawrence was admired by famous writers like E.M. Forster and Aldous Huxley, although many were offended by his habit of including them undisguised, but often caricatured in his novels. They were repelled by the too frequent violent outbursts which made even friends doubt his sanity at times.
This could of course be attributed to his frequent ill health, and the suppressed knowledge that he had a disease which caused him considerable pain, and would kill him prematurely. When he was a child, his mother’s possessiveness, heightened by the need to nurse him through a long illness, and generally to protect him from infection, must have affected his emotional development. Her bitter contempt for her husband, which she encouraged her children to share, must also have damaged Lawrence’s ability to form stable relationships, but author Brenda Maddox does not explore these aspects much.
Lawrence is fascinating in his dual personality. Many found him charismatic, charming and entertaining, although his skilful mimicry must have been insensitive at times. He was industrious, with many practical skills, often generous with his time and money, when he had it, to help others. Yet he could also be cruel, abusive, sharp-tongued, dogmatic and opinionated to the degree that one might question how “good” a writer he really was when he committed some of his bizarre, often confused, ideas to print.
A restless wanderer to Italy, Ceylon, Australia or the high plains of the US state of New Mexico and Mexico itself in search of the pure air at high altitudes to ease his lungs, Lawrence gained the material for his memorable travel writing. His keen observation of nature and animals (which did not prevent his vicious beating of a pet dog) produced some striking poetry: “A snake came to my water-trough….” . “Sons and Lovers” is an enduring classic, although a clear example of the degree to which he drew on his own experience, in the process misrepresenting his relationship with Jessie Chambers, which he would justify by arguing that “art is not life”, even if it draws on real people for inspiration.
His later work, as summarised and quoted from in this book, often appears too farcical, perhaps intentionally, produced too quickly, with a loss of his earlier more subtle and considered style.
But whatever one’s view of his work, Lawrence and Frieda remain an intriguing couple, rattling through their world of evocative places and famous names from the past.
February 24, 2008
I don't even like D.H. Lawrence, but I found this book fascinating ... it has inpired me to go back and wade back into his work ... I found him difficult, but I'll try again.
September 17, 2018
A biography of one of my favorite writers.
Pro:
-Intensive, covers every period of his life.
-Her intuition of D.H. especially in his relationships is first rate.
-This intuition and psychological understanding is perfectly transferred into an
understanding of his early novels and stories.
-Focusing on the marriage was a brilliant move.
-The author I think makes a strong case that D.H. needed the constant friction, fighting,
frustration, etc of Frieda to become a great writer.
-The author also delves into the contradiction that was his life, especially in his marriage. I
really felt the author understood that D.H. had to exist on both sides the coin, in a state of
constant struggle or even war, to create art, and frankly to be who he was. At times ,I think
the author struggles with the hypocrisy or confusion, but I came to the conclusion (unstated
but implied by the author) that it was this warring nature which allowed him his perception
and genius.
Con:
-This is a struggle to read. The author pieces his life together chronologically, but there's no
flow or rhythm. Perhaps at times, it would have been easier to focus on common elements
in a more comprehensive way (not cutting them up into the chronology) in a more flowing
manner. Instead, each and every thing gets a page or two, going to the next page or two on
another topic, on and on. I think there was a lost opportunity as a writer for Ms. Maddox,
and often-times reads as a long dissertation on a famous writer (the entire kitchen sink is
thrown in chronological order).
-It runs out of steam in the end, perhaps because of the previous comment.
-The author's insight seems to stray or be lost with D.H. Lawrence's later writings. She
clearly is not interested in Kangaroo or Plumed Serpent, Apocalypse, or even Lady
Chatterley's lover, and provides a concise dismissal in place of discussion or analysis of
each work. Whether one likes them or not (and I like a few of them, and dislike a few of
them) they are always interesting, and worth exploring.
-The author explores Lawrence's sexuality, and makes many excellent comments regarding
his feminine side, but I do feel like she sort of lumps some of this into his "homosexual"
longings. That element is in many of Lawrence's writings, but I read only the
contradiction, not an active homosexual longing. In short, I think she is too quick to make
labels on this fascinating topic, which could likely be its own full-length book.
Pro:
-Intensive, covers every period of his life.
-Her intuition of D.H. especially in his relationships is first rate.
-This intuition and psychological understanding is perfectly transferred into an
understanding of his early novels and stories.
-Focusing on the marriage was a brilliant move.
-The author I think makes a strong case that D.H. needed the constant friction, fighting,
frustration, etc of Frieda to become a great writer.
-The author also delves into the contradiction that was his life, especially in his marriage. I
really felt the author understood that D.H. had to exist on both sides the coin, in a state of
constant struggle or even war, to create art, and frankly to be who he was. At times ,I think
the author struggles with the hypocrisy or confusion, but I came to the conclusion (unstated
but implied by the author) that it was this warring nature which allowed him his perception
and genius.
Con:
-This is a struggle to read. The author pieces his life together chronologically, but there's no
flow or rhythm. Perhaps at times, it would have been easier to focus on common elements
in a more comprehensive way (not cutting them up into the chronology) in a more flowing
manner. Instead, each and every thing gets a page or two, going to the next page or two on
another topic, on and on. I think there was a lost opportunity as a writer for Ms. Maddox,
and often-times reads as a long dissertation on a famous writer (the entire kitchen sink is
thrown in chronological order).
-It runs out of steam in the end, perhaps because of the previous comment.
-The author's insight seems to stray or be lost with D.H. Lawrence's later writings. She
clearly is not interested in Kangaroo or Plumed Serpent, Apocalypse, or even Lady
Chatterley's lover, and provides a concise dismissal in place of discussion or analysis of
each work. Whether one likes them or not (and I like a few of them, and dislike a few of
them) they are always interesting, and worth exploring.
-The author explores Lawrence's sexuality, and makes many excellent comments regarding
his feminine side, but I do feel like she sort of lumps some of this into his "homosexual"
longings. That element is in many of Lawrence's writings, but I read only the
contradiction, not an active homosexual longing. In short, I think she is too quick to make
labels on this fascinating topic, which could likely be its own full-length book.
January 27, 2009
I read this one a while back and never updated it...a fascinating story of their marriage. Two very strong personalities united by art and joy and heartache. His wife, Frieda, was a force of nature. It was a tempestous relationship, but, in their own way, they were very loyal to each other. Loyal, but most certainly not faithful. An engrossing portrait of their lives, their phsyches, their cultural milieu, their constant poverty over many years, their travels through the world (Europe, Ceylon, New Mexico, Mexico, Australia, etc.), his final success as a writer, his feverish imagination and her feverish sex drive. What a couple!
December 16, 2015
I was overwhelmed by what an unpleasant person Lawrence was. Or is that only Brenda Maddox's portrait? An excellent read but I didn't enjoy him. And I loved his novels and poetry once. I liked him enough to feel sad when he died. He seemed to be able to charm people but it is hard to see how in this book. His pattern seemed to be of cutting rudeness to everyone. Frieda was also hard to warm to although she was badly treated by DHL. A good biography.
January 23, 2012
Brilliant; readable and fascinating. DHL defined by his married status.
January 19, 2025
An absolutely brilliant book,complete and full of insight about such a complex and strange writer that everybody thought was a genius.However it is long and possibly the last word on his life.It’s strange to read such a personal biography as it’s like looking through the window of an marriage in all its intimacy,like prying into their most intimate moments which they were willing to discuss for all and sundry.Every book,short story poem,play and painting have been analysed to reveal what they were experiencing.Although it’s long it was easy to read but a knowledge of the texts would be very useful.This I Idid not have but even I could plough on and get enjoyment.Is Lawrence read today?”Sons and Lovers” will endure and Lady Chatterley’s Lover ( despite it not being particularly well written) but the rest? most find them hard to follow and old fashioned.His short stories would probably find an audience on TV Despite all this his place is assured with the court case of Lady Chatterly which released the chains of literary censorship (for good or ill).A good read for committed enthusiasts.
June 13, 2019
D. H. Lawrence: The Story of a Marriage is a biography of the novelist D. H. Lawrence, focusing on his relationship with Frieda Lawrence. It is an outstanding book, insightful about Lawrence and his work, about which Maddox is simultaneously critical and fair. She offers useful discussions of all of Lawrence's novels, and her exploration of them will encourage the reader to turn to them again with renewed attention, or alternatively to read them for the first time. Her book is also superbly well-written; indeed, it is the best and most enjoyable book of any kind I have read in some time.
September 17, 2018
A real tour-de-force of the biographical arts from Brenda...which is literally exhausting & factually exhaustive! D.H.Lawrence is a very difficult chap to assess these days...& Frieda, his muse & mother- substitute defies accurate analysis...a couple who coupled-up to make each other suffer for DHL's art...though his late attempts at painting are best whitewashed by his words...in vivid prose & enigmatic poetry. Lady Chatterley's Lover was only the half of it!
September 11, 2016
I've read previous biographies of D H Lawrence, & thought I knew the basic outlines of his life, but this one held real surprises.
The focus on Lawrence's wife Frieda & their marriage was eye-opening, revealing DHL's ambivalent sexuality, constant illness, & serious bad temper. Earlier biographers had seemed to emphasize his wide socializing & large circle of (especially) literary friends of that era... whereas Brenda Maddox shows how eventually Lawrence alienated every single one. He held some friends close for years, then pushed them away petulantly because one or another of their foibles irritated him. Apparently he desperately needed people, to charm & beguile, to help him financially, to take care of him when illness disabled him. Yet he basically tolerated only Frieda...and not always her. She put up with his insults and even his physical abuse longer than anyone else could, yet--to his great frustration--would not truly "submit" to him.
An excellent read if you know & love DHL's work and want to know more. I always loved his short stories & novellas, though I found the novels turgid & definitely second-class. This biog "explained" for me some of what's wrong with the novels, without at all spoiling the magic of the brilliant shorter stories.
The focus on Lawrence's wife Frieda & their marriage was eye-opening, revealing DHL's ambivalent sexuality, constant illness, & serious bad temper. Earlier biographers had seemed to emphasize his wide socializing & large circle of (especially) literary friends of that era... whereas Brenda Maddox shows how eventually Lawrence alienated every single one. He held some friends close for years, then pushed them away petulantly because one or another of their foibles irritated him. Apparently he desperately needed people, to charm & beguile, to help him financially, to take care of him when illness disabled him. Yet he basically tolerated only Frieda...and not always her. She put up with his insults and even his physical abuse longer than anyone else could, yet--to his great frustration--would not truly "submit" to him.
An excellent read if you know & love DHL's work and want to know more. I always loved his short stories & novellas, though I found the novels turgid & definitely second-class. This biog "explained" for me some of what's wrong with the novels, without at all spoiling the magic of the brilliant shorter stories.
September 11, 2014
Good but a bit too detailed in parts.
Displaying 1 - 13 of 13 reviews