When I Kill You

by Michelle Wan

Gina Lopez is twenty-six, a postal worker during the week, a mud wrestler on weekends. She's also a recent widow, though she is not exactly mourning the death of her abusive husband Chico. Instead, she's anxiously awaiting the life-insurance settlement that will pay off his gambling debts. After that she's hoping to take her mud-wrestling skills out of small-town-Ontario bars and down to the more lucrative US circuit.And then Marcia Beekland enters her life. Marcia has video evidence that appears to implicate Gina in Chico's death. Faced with the likelihood of a jail sentence and the certain loss of the insurance settlement, Gina succumbs to Marcia's blackmail demands. And what Marcia wants is that Gina kill her husband Stanley.What follows is a comic mystery caper that will keep readers both laughing and eagerly reading to discover what is really behind Marcia's increasingly crazed demands.

Genres: Mystery

145 pages, Kindle Edition

First published April 1, 2012

About the author

Michelle Wan was born in Kunming, China, in the middle of an air raid. Her early years were spent in India, and she has subsequently lived in the USA, England, Paris, Harare, and Rio de Janeiro. Her passions include French food, Brazilian novellas, walking, and orchids. She and her husband, a botanist, visit the Dordogne annually to photograph and chart wild orchids. She speaks English, Portuguese, and French. She is a great-grand niece of Sun Yat-Sen. Her first Dordogne mystery, Deadly Slipper, which introduced Mara Dunn and Julian Wood, was published in 2005.

Series:
* Death in the Dordogne

Reviews

[sarah]

i randomly saw this at the library and picked it up just bc i knew it was going to be bad (that's why there's no rating).
it's written as a murder mystery, but it reads as a comedy (with some parts actually having the intention of being funny). it was just the type of speedy read that keeps you invested, i finished it in under 1h. it was such a good bad book and the end was cocaine for the trashy entertainment heart.

spotlight for my favourite lines:
Something - my backbone - stiffened.

"Everything cool here?"
"Yeah, we're just having fun."
"No, I'm not. She's got uneven tits."

[Deanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoy these short quick reads. This one kept me interested the entire book. Read in just a couple sittings. Love a good mystery.

[D.A. Brown · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well. What do you get if you're a struggling mud-wrestler, trying to make some cash after the untimely and vaguely suspicious-looking death of your abusive husband, and you find out someone has filmed the suspicious-looking stuff and wants to blackmail you?
You get a strangely amusing romp through "how do you kill someone without really wanting to" techniques...
As a fast read, this book flew by - it reads well and is funny in parts, absurd in others. There are lengthy descriptions of the mud-wrestling bouts, which made me feel soggy, and rather less effort making the reader want to cheer for Gina as she goes through the various murder attempts. The best character, by far, is the blackmailer Marcia Beekland. She's the one I'd like to meet, with her waspish tongue and generally horrid approach to life.
It's always a problem in mysteries when the antagonist is a more interesting character than the protagonist. Gina comes off as rather two-dimensional and the capers in the book are light enough to seem "cheap and common" as my old mum would say. Her motivation for heading out to kill a stranger in a fairly brutal way isn't convincing. I'd like to see the whole thing either ramped up to the truly absurd or taken down to the significant - here the story falters in a blandness that takes away most of its charm.
And it could be funny. It's just that the capers are so familiar. Seems made-for-TV.

[Jackson Huff · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is another very fast read that is probably a 3 1/2 star book, but rounded down because definitely not a 4 star. I found the plot to be engaging and the antics to be a little bit humorous. Given how short these books are, they cannot really go into very much character development but the two main people in the book were interesting enough. The blackmail was believable even if some of the ways our main character chose to try to do the job was not. It did have a bit of a twist, which was a bit unexpected. Overall, a nice short reading experience.

[Sneha Ahmad · Rating 4 out of 5]

Randomly picked up in the library and read it in one go. Definately enjoyed it more than I thought I would xD
It's comical with a hint of mystery. Nice combo if you ask me ;)

[LisaMarie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is my first Rapid Reads (I think), and it sure was. I won't go in search of more but if I ever come across another I'll probably read it.
Instead of eyerolling over the rapidly increasing farcicality, somehow I thought it was just fun.

[Sherri · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gina Lopez’s life is on upswing due to the recent accidental death of her abusive husband. Gina is a mild mannered postal worker during the week, but a feisty mud wrestler on the weekends. All she needs now is the big check from the life insurance company so she can pay her husband’s gambling debts and then she can devote more time to her dream of becoming a mud wrestler in Las Vegas. However, after a match one night, Marcia Beekland enters Gina’s life with an offer Gina can’t refuse. Marcia happened to be hiking near Gina and her husband and took video on her IPhone of Gina shoving her husband Chico off the cliff. Even though Gina knows she pushed Chico after he had already tried to throw her off the cliff first, she knows the police will look at the 10 second clip Marcia took and think that’s all that happened. Now Marcia wants Gina to commit a murder for her otherwise she will expose Gina to the police. Will Gina have to actually murder someone else or can she figure out another way to avoid the police?

This Orca-sibling book may appeal to those who like a little female mud wrestling with their thrillers. This book’s reading level is 3.8.

[Shirley Schwartz]

I was sent this book by the publisher in order that I might review it and I have to say that it wasn't a bad story. It is a quick read, and took me less than an hour to get through it. The book is actually quite funny-a female mud wrestler who is a postal worker by day. Actually this little book reminded me of Janet Evanovich's earlier Stephanie Plum novels, (when they were actually funny before they got too ridiculous). Gina is recruited as a reluctant hit woman. She is asked to kill a woman's husband or else the woman will release a video that could bring into question whether Gina's husband's death was an accident or a murder. The video could be interpreted as a deliberate push off the cliff and cause Gina to be arrested. It becomes apparent that Gina is no killer, and after several failed and hilarious attempts, a resolution of sorts to Gina's dilemma is reached. Not a bad comedic effort my Ms. Wan.

[Jo Stallworth · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have to admit, having grown up in Detroit, I have a soft spot for well-drawn working class characters. Here, a Canadian postal worker by day is an aspiring mud wrestler by night. She dreams of reaching competitive heights in Vegas, but is playing a waiting game as a recent (but not exactly grieving) widow. Suddenly, her life takes a disastrous turn when she meets a rather unpleasant woman who is bent on exploiting the young widow's fortune or misfortune. I found the novella funny and entertaining. The author does a nice wrestling move of her own at the end, using the Hitchcock Twist. Perhaps some might find the humor too subtle or the book too slight, but I enjoyed it.

[Anne · Rating 3 out of 5]

Gina works in a post office as her main job, but on the weekends you can find her in the mud pits, wrestling. She is waiting for a life insurance payment on her recently deceased husband, and really her life is better with out him. Until someone starts blackmailing her…
Some violence but nothing graphic. An astute reader will catch the foreshadowing for a major plot twist. A good mystery with action and adventure for your hi-lo readers.

[Joyce · Rating 1 out of 5]

A 'rapid read', geared toward adults I think & not teens; still I think it's ridiculously violent and cavalier in its treatment of murder & death. And women doing mud wrestling just seems wrong on so many levels; I find it very weird that the author actually thinks it's an OK thing to do. Leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth.

[Robin (Saturndoo) · Rating 2 out of 5]

By no means was this a great read, but it was just barely interesting enough to keep me reading. The story is short moved right along quickly. IF you like mud wrestling and someone's misfortune of being blackmailed as well as their failed attempts at murdering someone, then this book is for you. Not much else to really say about it. Would I recommend this book...NOPE.

[Brenda Kahn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Another Rapid Read, a series geared toward struggling adult readers, that somehow ended up in the children's review pile. This one move along a bit more believably than the two previous books I read. Again, plot-driven, simple language.

[Diane Howland · Rating 4 out of 5]

A good book. Fast moving, but a good fast read. Highly recommend. Hold your interest throughout the book.

[V · Rating 3 out of 5]

My 3rd Rapid Read. This is set in South-Western (i think) Ontario, and concerns the trials and tribulations of a mud wrestler named Gina. Yes, a mud wrestler.