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Permanent
Sometimes love just ain't enough...
River Cortland trusted the person he loved. His faith couldn't protect him from the bitter sting of a cold-hearted Domme. If he's going to learn to trust again, he's got to deal with his past. His roommate and best friend, Tory, has seen the physical damage and hasn't walked away. Can he deal with the emotional scars as well?
Tory McClellan wanted the carefree life...until one night with River changed everything. There's more to the shy art teacher and Tory wants to know everything-how he tastes, the scent of his skin, the feel of his body as they make love. What terror lies behind River's brown eyes? Better yet, how can Tory make the sadness go away and be in River's life, permanently?
River Cortland trusted the person he loved. His faith couldn't protect him from the bitter sting of a cold-hearted Domme. If he's going to learn to trust again, he's got to deal with his past. His roommate and best friend, Tory, has seen the physical damage and hasn't walked away. Can he deal with the emotional scars as well?
Tory McClellan wanted the carefree life...until one night with River changed everything. There's more to the shy art teacher and Tory wants to know everything-how he tastes, the scent of his skin, the feel of his body as they make love. What terror lies behind River's brown eyes? Better yet, how can Tory make the sadness go away and be in River's life, permanently?
94 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 26, 2011
2 people are currently reading
46 people want to read
About the author
Megan Slayer
323 books498 followersMegan Slayer, aka Wendi Zwaduk, is a multi-published, award-winning author of more than one-hundred short stories and novels. She’s been writing since 2008 and published since 2009. Her stories range from the contemporary and paranormal to LGBTQ and white hot themes. No matter what the length, her works are always hot, but with a lot of heart. She enjoys giving her characters a second chance at love, no matter what the form. She’s been nominated at the LRC for Best Author, Best Contemporary, Best Ménage, Best BDSM and Best Anthology. Her books have made it to the bestseller lists on Amazon.com.
When she’s not writing, Megan spends time with her husband and son as well as three dogs and three cats. She enjoys art, music and racing, but football is her sport of choice. She’s an active member of the Friends of the Keystone-LaGrange Public library. Find out more about Megan and Wendi at: http://wendizwaduk.com/indexMegan.htm Sign up for the newsletter here: http://ymlp.com/xgjmjumygmgj
When she’s not writing, Megan spends time with her husband and son as well as three dogs and three cats. She enjoys art, music and racing, but football is her sport of choice. She’s an active member of the Friends of the Keystone-LaGrange Public library. Find out more about Megan and Wendi at: http://wendizwaduk.com/indexMegan.htm Sign up for the newsletter here: http://ymlp.com/xgjmjumygmgj
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Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews
January 20, 2012
A dark past is something many people have trouble accepting – in themselves but even more so in others. This is the story of River, a man who has been to the bottom of abusive hell and back, and what happens when he falls in love. It is also the story of Tory, the man who loves him and how he deals with his lover’s gruesome past, his own feelings, and his colleagues' reactions.
River is a tortured soul. A natural submissive, and someone looking for love and acceptance at almost any price, he has made some bad decisions. His Mistress used him for her own amusement, and damaged him physically (which is bad enough) and mentally. The lack of self-confidence in River and his desperate love for Tory were very touching. His inability to tell Tory the truth was totally understandable. He needed more than trust to come clean though – he needed Tory to push him, almost force him to talk. I certainly can’t blame River for trying to ‘wish things away’ as he put it.
Tory is a contradiction in terms. He has his own issues and is outgoing and tolerant one moment, withdrawn and arrogant the next. He is a hard man to love, a hard man to get to know, and an even harder man to get to commit to one man and stick with him. Tory fights himself, not willing to admit he has feelings for River, and that almost costs them their future.
The high degree of realism and description of the degradation River was made to suffer makes this a hard read. It is not for the faint of heart, as, indeed, the whole topic is not one you should approach hoping for a 'fluffy' story. There is hardly any romance here, but there is a glimpse at what true love can do to help two people over their feelings of inadequacy. Recommended if you are curious about the darker side of human nature or if you want to read about an ‘acid test’ for love under very difficult circumstances.
NOTE: This book was provided by Total-E-Bound for the purpose of a review on Queer Magazine Online.
River is a tortured soul. A natural submissive, and someone looking for love and acceptance at almost any price, he has made some bad decisions. His Mistress used him for her own amusement, and damaged him physically (which is bad enough) and mentally. The lack of self-confidence in River and his desperate love for Tory were very touching. His inability to tell Tory the truth was totally understandable. He needed more than trust to come clean though – he needed Tory to push him, almost force him to talk. I certainly can’t blame River for trying to ‘wish things away’ as he put it.
Tory is a contradiction in terms. He has his own issues and is outgoing and tolerant one moment, withdrawn and arrogant the next. He is a hard man to love, a hard man to get to know, and an even harder man to get to commit to one man and stick with him. Tory fights himself, not willing to admit he has feelings for River, and that almost costs them their future.
The high degree of realism and description of the degradation River was made to suffer makes this a hard read. It is not for the faint of heart, as, indeed, the whole topic is not one you should approach hoping for a 'fluffy' story. There is hardly any romance here, but there is a glimpse at what true love can do to help two people over their feelings of inadequacy. Recommended if you are curious about the darker side of human nature or if you want to read about an ‘acid test’ for love under very difficult circumstances.
NOTE: This book was provided by Total-E-Bound for the purpose of a review on Queer Magazine Online.
February 28, 2012
This review was written for BDSM Book Reviews
River Cortland is severely damaged goods. As "Permanent" opens, he's shivering in the cold outside a sex club, beaten, bruised and bloodied. The story of what happened only comes out in bits and pieces as the book unfolds. It seems that River has suffered under the attentions of a very bad domme. She wanted him to be a pain slut, which he's not, but she thought she could make him one. She didn't respect his boundaries, and when he tried to safe-word she gagged him. Then she let her friends at the club where they played do whatever they wanted to inflict the maximum amount of pain and humiliation. River is not only physically beaten, he's also terrified. He was barebacked by he doesn't know how many men, while others pissed and ejaculated on the open whip wounds on his back. He has no idea what kind of STDs he may have picked up.
To the rescue comes Tory, River's roommate. He answers River's panicked call to come to the club and take him home. River refuses to go to the hospital, so Tory helps him wash and holds him together through the night. The gay-identified River has always had a crush on his roommate, who he thinks is straight, and quite a player as well.
Tory, a sportscaster for a local television station, is a player alright, only he plays for both teams. He's had his eye on River since the day he moved in. Once River recovers physically from his ordeal, Tory makes his move on the surprised River. The two start an intense physical relationship, but for River there's a problem: Despite his bad experience, he's still a man who needs to submit. He has to find out if Tory can dominate him before he can know if the relationship can go anywhere. So, he brings Tory to another club to meet his friend Griffin and his sub Tina.
Griffin and Tina introduce Tory to the D/s scene, and Tory turns out to have a strong dominant streak, which surprises him as much as it pleases River. The rest of the book is mostly consumed with a drawn-out will-they / won't-they story line. Both men have reasons to hold back. River is still traumatized by what his domme did to him. Although he's tested free of any diseases, he still feels tainted by the experience, unworthy of being loved and unable to open up to Tory about what was done to him. Tory is a man with real commitment issues. He's never been in a long term relationship, with a man or a woman, and things with River are obviously complicated. He also has concerns about what coming out might do to his career.
While the scene in which River is brutalized was obviously intense, it's never described in any detail. We get only brief glimpses of it through occasional flashbacks. The only BDSM actually described in the story is the light D/s scene with Griffin and Tina. There is lots of sex between Tory and River, and as a one-handed read "Permanent" isn't bad. However, the author seemed to be going for romance, and on that score the book isn't very successful. The storytelling is rather muddled. At times it's hard to tell who is talking, or even telling the story, since the point of view switches back and forth between the two main characters. The story is drawn out mainly by having one of the characters undergo a major mood swing. This happens so much that it got rather annoying. The writer needed to find another plot device.
River Cortland is severely damaged goods. As "Permanent" opens, he's shivering in the cold outside a sex club, beaten, bruised and bloodied. The story of what happened only comes out in bits and pieces as the book unfolds. It seems that River has suffered under the attentions of a very bad domme. She wanted him to be a pain slut, which he's not, but she thought she could make him one. She didn't respect his boundaries, and when he tried to safe-word she gagged him. Then she let her friends at the club where they played do whatever they wanted to inflict the maximum amount of pain and humiliation. River is not only physically beaten, he's also terrified. He was barebacked by he doesn't know how many men, while others pissed and ejaculated on the open whip wounds on his back. He has no idea what kind of STDs he may have picked up.
To the rescue comes Tory, River's roommate. He answers River's panicked call to come to the club and take him home. River refuses to go to the hospital, so Tory helps him wash and holds him together through the night. The gay-identified River has always had a crush on his roommate, who he thinks is straight, and quite a player as well.
Tory, a sportscaster for a local television station, is a player alright, only he plays for both teams. He's had his eye on River since the day he moved in. Once River recovers physically from his ordeal, Tory makes his move on the surprised River. The two start an intense physical relationship, but for River there's a problem: Despite his bad experience, he's still a man who needs to submit. He has to find out if Tory can dominate him before he can know if the relationship can go anywhere. So, he brings Tory to another club to meet his friend Griffin and his sub Tina.
Griffin and Tina introduce Tory to the D/s scene, and Tory turns out to have a strong dominant streak, which surprises him as much as it pleases River. The rest of the book is mostly consumed with a drawn-out will-they / won't-they story line. Both men have reasons to hold back. River is still traumatized by what his domme did to him. Although he's tested free of any diseases, he still feels tainted by the experience, unworthy of being loved and unable to open up to Tory about what was done to him. Tory is a man with real commitment issues. He's never been in a long term relationship, with a man or a woman, and things with River are obviously complicated. He also has concerns about what coming out might do to his career.
While the scene in which River is brutalized was obviously intense, it's never described in any detail. We get only brief glimpses of it through occasional flashbacks. The only BDSM actually described in the story is the light D/s scene with Griffin and Tina. There is lots of sex between Tory and River, and as a one-handed read "Permanent" isn't bad. However, the author seemed to be going for romance, and on that score the book isn't very successful. The storytelling is rather muddled. At times it's hard to tell who is talking, or even telling the story, since the point of view switches back and forth between the two main characters. The story is drawn out mainly by having one of the characters undergo a major mood swing. This happens so much that it got rather annoying. The writer needed to find another plot device.
April 23, 2012
Disappointing. I want to give some constructive cristicism on this one. The blurb really caught my interest, and I also found myself curious on how the author was going to handle the dark subject matter and the fact that the story leads in with a very debilitating event to one of the main characters. I wanted to see if this would work in so few pages. Unfortuantely, it did not work for me here.
There was a lot of potential, but I felt like the transistions and the character development were all over the place, and even, sad to say, shallow. Also, the use of 'I love you' did not seem to fit where it was placed, especially when it was followed by smartoassed remarks by the one character, or the downward spiralling head-talk of the other. I found I couldn't take an interest in either character, meaning I didn't really feel and attachment or like either one of them, even though I really wanted to.
The ending, well, was very rushed and so unbeleiveable with what each character has shown the other about themselves and their personal hang-ups or trust issues. The title just isn't making sense to me, even though I see where it was attempted as a tie-in
If any story could use a re-write, and the addition of more pages to do proper development into both character's background as well as their current job scenarios and their resepctive ages, I think this one would be a great candidate. AS it stands, this one fell flat for me.
There was a lot of potential, but I felt like the transistions and the character development were all over the place, and even, sad to say, shallow. Also, the use of 'I love you' did not seem to fit where it was placed, especially when it was followed by smartoassed remarks by the one character, or the downward spiralling head-talk of the other. I found I couldn't take an interest in either character, meaning I didn't really feel and attachment or like either one of them, even though I really wanted to.
The ending, well, was very rushed and so unbeleiveable with what each character has shown the other about themselves and their personal hang-ups or trust issues. The title just isn't making sense to me, even though I see where it was attempted as a tie-in
If any story could use a re-write, and the addition of more pages to do proper development into both character's background as well as their current job scenarios and their resepctive ages, I think this one would be a great candidate. AS it stands, this one fell flat for me.
March 31, 2012
I LOVE a good BDSM book. For me, this was not one of them and I really really wanted this to be. The relationship between River and Tory could have really been explored more and built up to be something that was really great to watch unfold. What I found in this book however was a disjointed hard to follow maze of uncertainty.
River is submissive. The story opens with him being completely and utterly abused by his mistress. Tory picks him up and takes care of him. AS it turns out Tory is his roommate of 3 years and has been silently wanting River (oh and River wants him as well). The rest of the story is Tory going back and forth between I want you, I don't want you. This to me is just as bad as what happened to him that one horrible night. It is definitely going to mess with Rivers head.
On the other hand we have River is still really messed up and unsure of himself. He hides what happened to him from Tory and they both engage in sex instead of conversation.
I spent a good portion of this story confused and feeling like I was left out of the story. If I was a teacher, this would get an incomplete and I would ask for it to be reworked. It has the makings of a really strong read, but just did not make the mark.
River is submissive. The story opens with him being completely and utterly abused by his mistress. Tory picks him up and takes care of him. AS it turns out Tory is his roommate of 3 years and has been silently wanting River (oh and River wants him as well). The rest of the story is Tory going back and forth between I want you, I don't want you. This to me is just as bad as what happened to him that one horrible night. It is definitely going to mess with Rivers head.
On the other hand we have River is still really messed up and unsure of himself. He hides what happened to him from Tory and they both engage in sex instead of conversation.
I spent a good portion of this story confused and feeling like I was left out of the story. If I was a teacher, this would get an incomplete and I would ask for it to be reworked. It has the makings of a really strong read, but just did not make the mark.
January 11, 2012
This is a very intense read about two men, roommates and lovers, with a lot of baggage struggling to make a lasting relationship. I was at times sad, angry, and frustrated by the actions of River and Tory but after the final page I found a sense of satisfaction.
River enjoys being submissive, but after his domme misuses his trust in the most violent way, he's scared to open himself up again. No amount of therapy has gotten him past his fear, not even the unconditional love of his pet cat has put his mind at ease. I felt such sympathy for River. Not only are there physical scars but mentally he's still struggling and I ached for him. He's kept things locked up for so long I was on pins and needles waiting for him to talk about what happened.
River needed someone supportive and at times that person was Tory. He treated River gently at times but would then use crass humor. He wants to have a relationship with River, but doesn't want to have anything serious. His mood constantly ran hot and cold and made me quite frustrated with him.
With River just wanting someone to love him, this causes many issues and spats between them. The spats were silly and added to my frustration but thankfully weren't dragged out for too long. And at least their make-up scenes were sexy and steamy. Whatever problems they had out of the bedroom were definitely put aside during their sexual interludes.
Even though I was left frustrated that those who hurt River never receive punishment, at least River felt a sense of resolution. I felt drawn to River and ached for him. He was a kind-hearted person who didn't deserve to be hurt for admitting his desires. I'm pleased he found strength. I just wish he'd found a more likable person to spend his life with. I have no doubt Tory cares about him, I just wish he'd be more supportive in a demonstrative way. I enjoyed this story and was drawn into everything that happened. I would love to see these characters again and anytime Ms. Slayer wants to revisit them I'll be there.
River enjoys being submissive, but after his domme misuses his trust in the most violent way, he's scared to open himself up again. No amount of therapy has gotten him past his fear, not even the unconditional love of his pet cat has put his mind at ease. I felt such sympathy for River. Not only are there physical scars but mentally he's still struggling and I ached for him. He's kept things locked up for so long I was on pins and needles waiting for him to talk about what happened.
River needed someone supportive and at times that person was Tory. He treated River gently at times but would then use crass humor. He wants to have a relationship with River, but doesn't want to have anything serious. His mood constantly ran hot and cold and made me quite frustrated with him.
With River just wanting someone to love him, this causes many issues and spats between them. The spats were silly and added to my frustration but thankfully weren't dragged out for too long. And at least their make-up scenes were sexy and steamy. Whatever problems they had out of the bedroom were definitely put aside during their sexual interludes.
Even though I was left frustrated that those who hurt River never receive punishment, at least River felt a sense of resolution. I felt drawn to River and ached for him. He was a kind-hearted person who didn't deserve to be hurt for admitting his desires. I'm pleased he found strength. I just wish he'd found a more likable person to spend his life with. I have no doubt Tory cares about him, I just wish he'd be more supportive in a demonstrative way. I enjoyed this story and was drawn into everything that happened. I would love to see these characters again and anytime Ms. Slayer wants to revisit them I'll be there.
April 20, 2012
River Cortland was abused by his former mistress so badly he can’t talk about it. River will have to learn to trust again. His friend and roommate, Tory McClellan, wants to be the man River trusts. He is a free and happy person who must break through the walls River has put up around himself. Once Tory does, will what he finds be what tears them apart forever?
Permanent by Megan Slayer is a book about starting over and forgiving yourself. I found River to be moody, sweet, and vulnerable. He has an inner strength which Tory sees and helps nurture inside him. Tory has never really had it hard; he is a good person who has had good things come to him. He is also able to spread that goodness to others. He is a gentle and caring character who River really needs to be with.
The depth of River and Tory’s love is tested by the horrors River has gone through. The level of BDSM in this book is not for those faint of heart but the experiences these characters go through give this story layers of depth. I really wanted River to have his happy ending but I wasn’t sure how he was going to get it. I am glad he had Tory, someone so sweet, kind, and patient, to go on this journey with him. I loved the emotion and heart and soul you can feel from these characters. That is what makes this book memorable for me.
Permanent by Megan Slayer is a book about starting over and forgiving yourself. I found River to be moody, sweet, and vulnerable. He has an inner strength which Tory sees and helps nurture inside him. Tory has never really had it hard; he is a good person who has had good things come to him. He is also able to spread that goodness to others. He is a gentle and caring character who River really needs to be with.
The depth of River and Tory’s love is tested by the horrors River has gone through. The level of BDSM in this book is not for those faint of heart but the experiences these characters go through give this story layers of depth. I really wanted River to have his happy ending but I wasn’t sure how he was going to get it. I am glad he had Tory, someone so sweet, kind, and patient, to go on this journey with him. I loved the emotion and heart and soul you can feel from these characters. That is what makes this book memorable for me.
July 24, 2016
Of all of Slayer's stories, I think this one had the most potential to be something more than her typical BDSM romp. Don't get me wrong. I read her books specifically because she's so good at setting those scenes and drawing me in.
After reading an except of Permanent at the end of one of her other stories, I rushed out and purchased the book.
As much as I liked the story, I was a little caught off guard by how quickly the short story moved and how much the characters changed their minds. It had such a good hook that I expected more. As others have pointed out, we never really got a good feel for what happened to River and I felt like Tory could have been developed a little more so that we had a better understanding of his sudden interest in River.
Having said all of that, there was still enough to like that the book was worthy of three stars. However, if you're going to start reading Slayer's books for the first time, don't count on this one to get you hooked on any of the others.
After reading an except of Permanent at the end of one of her other stories, I rushed out and purchased the book.
As much as I liked the story, I was a little caught off guard by how quickly the short story moved and how much the characters changed their minds. It had such a good hook that I expected more. As others have pointed out, we never really got a good feel for what happened to River and I felt like Tory could have been developed a little more so that we had a better understanding of his sudden interest in River.
Having said all of that, there was still enough to like that the book was worthy of three stars. However, if you're going to start reading Slayer's books for the first time, don't count on this one to get you hooked on any of the others.
August 8, 2012
This was an intense read. I liked it!
Displaying 1 - 8 of 8 reviews