Affection and Estrangement: A Southern Family Memoir

by Preston M. Browning Jr.

Focusing on race, religion, and class, author Preston M. Browning Jr. discusses life in the rural South as he experienced it in the 1930s and 1940s. With humorous touches and an eye for detail, this memoir provides not only snippets about the era but also the history of some of Virginia's oldest families. Born in 1929, Browning's childhood coincided with the Great Depression, and much of what he tells about his Culpeper, Virginia home communicates the ubiquitous poverty of the time. In addition, Affection and A Southern Family Memoir includes stories about relatives Browning remembers-some quite eccentric, as well as ancestors from two distinguished Virginia families, the Cockes and the Cabells. He also examines the impact of the oftentimes harsh and punitive Calvinist piety of the time, with its emphasis on human depravity. Including sketches of more than twenty relatives and ancestors, Affection and A Southern Family Memoir shows how Browning's family shaped his emerging sense of self-from his mother's aristocratic heritage to his father's business-oriented, middle-class background. This memoir pays tribute to those people-ancestors, parents, relatives, teachers, clergymen, siblings, and friends-who contributed so much to the formation of Browning and his character.

Genres: Memoir

280 pages, Paperback

First published October 29, 2009

Reviews

[Tim · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very nicely written book that I read through with great interest. It is really a few shorter books combined in one volume: a memoir of the author's youth in rural Virginia, a history of the author's family and its many eccentric members, and a discussion of Southern culture, with an examination of its roots and shortcomings.

The stories of Browning's younger days were simultaneously charming, typical, and eye-opening. He grew up in a well-off family that had a farm in the town of Culpeper. His father was a hard-working, successful car dealer, and his mother struggled with what seems to have been a case of depression. Several members of the clan were quite odd and had emotional problems, althou the author himself seems quite sane and aware throughout. Browning grew up in a limited world, but changed a lot as he got older, eventually serving in the military and getting a university education before becoming a professor.

The sketches provided of his relatives are fascinating. Many of them were unusual people, and it is interesting to contemplate that the eccentrics have always been with us, even in very conventional environments like the one discussed here. A few of Browning's forebears were noteworthy individuals and leaders of society. There is a long chapter on Gen. John Hartwell Cocke, a leading figure of his day, and a man who wavered back and forth between progressive and repressive views. His wife Louisa is perhaps the book's most tragic individual - a kind-hearted, Christian woman who ended up beaten down and saddened by her loveless marriage.

The book finished up with some thoughts and analysis of Southern culture, its roots, its racial and sexual issues, and its obsessions. Browning clearly feels he had to struggle against much of this, especially in his youth, and he is clear, knowledgable, and unsparing in his criticism, especially with regards to the racism that was once so pervasive in this society, but he also communicates his appreciation for the good things in Southern life. He eventually settled in the north, teaching in Chicago for many years, and retiring to run a small center for writers and artists in the foothills of the Berkshires in western Massachusetts. He does not discuss that in the book, but I know about it - full disclosure here, I am acquainted with the author - because that is where I met him.

This is a fine book, and those interested in the history of Virginia, memoirs of Southern life, and discussions of Southern culture will surely appreciate it.

[Violet · Rating 3 out of 5]

A charming family history. The authors reflections on his youth, not necessarily a typical southern family life through out the southern states.

Thanks to Goodreads and Preston Browning for my copy.

[M. Sprouse · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't realize until I was over halfway through this book that the title is referring to the author's feelings toward his sense of time and place in the almost, old south. At first I had the mistaken assumption it referred to his family. It is an excellent title as you get a feel for his love-hate relationship with the where and who of his upbringing. Perhaps love-hate is too strong a term, so affection and estrangement are perfect to describe it. The majority of the book is about his feelings about his "kith and kin". He comes across (to me) a little strong in his judgement of his relatives. Especially those relatives who he barely knew or only for a short part of their lives. However, it is a memoir and subjectivity is welcomed.
The last part of the book is much more academic in nature and is an analysis of the influence all these places, people and institutions of the South and that part of Virginia had on him. I'm originally from Virginia too, but born almost 30 years later and about a hundred miles further south. I recognized much of my early childhood from what he wrote. However, I could not agree with many conclusions of his "psychoanalysis". That last chapter really made me think, which perhaps was what this old college professor wanted. It would take almost a book for me to go over point by point where he hit the target and where he missed. Some of the points I found disagreement with were not necessarily his assertions, but the weight he put on them. Mr. Browning seem to blame his (former) religion and parents for many of his early problems. While things I'm sure were not perfect in those areas he seemed to take no responsibility himself. His brother, Charlie from what I can tell, seemed to come out without the same problems but was exposed to the same influences. He states in a paragraph how he's had a good life, so why not raise up those "hurdles" in life that made him stronger and the "southern gentleman" he became.
Overall, it was quite interesting and engaging. This book makes me wish more people would publish memoirs. Sure memoirs of people who aren't famous will not become best sellers. Memoir's of specific places and time are a treasure to a narrow slice of readers. I would not have read this if it was about someone growing up at the same time in Wisconsin. However, as someone who spent their very early life in Virginia it will stay, as a valued member, in my bookshelf. Even with a few reservations, I can say that it was informative and a bit charming.

[Joanne Seitzinger-Motley · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was received from a Goodreads giveaway.

This book is a collection of remembrances about the author’s somewhat dysfunctional family from rural Virginia. It would be of interest to family members and those interested in ancestry/culture from that region. He has done a good job of recording great detail about relatives that lived in the South. It seemed unusual to me that a book published in 2012 would use descriptors such as tub of lard, dimwit, mongoloid and colored. He indicates that several of his family members were held in great respect and affection by their slaves, although I wonder if the slaves would agree with that tenet. He describes in detail his experiences with race, religion, class, and education. The author examines how these experiences have shaped him into the adult he has become.

[Charlotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

distant cousin wrote