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Hexis
I'm not relentless. "Relentless" makes it sound like there's something called "relent" and that I'm lacking it. In that sense, I'm not relentless, but perhaps I'm unrelenting. I could relent if I wanted to. But he always has to die. I mean "always" in two at all times and all of the time. I can't kill him all of the time. That would take too long. But all of the times I did, I did. I'd do it again. I could relent if I wanted to, but instead I'd do it again. If he's different, then he's the same and if he's the same, he's got to go. If he were different and not the same, then there would be two things and I'd only have to kill one of them. If only I only had to kill one of him. What a life I would live, if only I only had to kill him the one time. But death doesn't always do him in.
133 pages, Kindle Edition
First published February 2, 2020
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 58 reviews
September 22, 2020
I thought that during the day, if I saw anyone, they might ask me what I was up to, and I might be honest. I was going home, again, to watch other people's lives on the television screen and eat crackers. In the worst telling of the story, they offered me an alternative thing to do in the evening, and I would either have to do it or explain to the person that I preferred crackers and television to whatever they were offering. It wasn't fair to make me choose between these two bad options, so I did what I could to avoid being placed in that position.
It's not every day you agree with someone like the narrator of Hexis, but she makes some great points in this dark little book. Really, it's better to go in not knowing entirely what to expect, because there's a lot that is left to the reader to interpret. It's not that it's vague - quite the opposite, the tale is told with such precision and clarity that at times it's uncomfortable - but you'll be presented with statements that cannot seem to all be true simultaneously. What you make of these is up to you - I know what I believe. And more importantly, I know this book made me think, and look at some familiar things from a different angle, and that it's absolutely going to live in a little corner of my brain for a long, long time.
It's not every day you agree with someone like the narrator of Hexis, but she makes some great points in this dark little book. Really, it's better to go in not knowing entirely what to expect, because there's a lot that is left to the reader to interpret. It's not that it's vague - quite the opposite, the tale is told with such precision and clarity that at times it's uncomfortable - but you'll be presented with statements that cannot seem to all be true simultaneously. What you make of these is up to you - I know what I believe. And more importantly, I know this book made me think, and look at some familiar things from a different angle, and that it's absolutely going to live in a little corner of my brain for a long, long time.
December 31, 2020
Reading Hexis is like submerging the world in pale blue light. Like all my favorite fiction, it takes complete control over my perception of the spaces I move through. Its syntax hijacked me. Someone referred to the narrator as rambling, but I don't think that's true. She's thorough. She's aware of the role her consciousness plays in creating the world, but not to a degree in which she has any control over it. So she kills one man multiple times, or multiple men at one time, but the distinction isn't important because really there is only ever one time, just as there is ever really only one man. It's the wound that changes.
TL;DR: Utterly brilliant, completely immersive, with some of the cleanest yet most devastating depictions of violence I've encountered in literature.
TL;DR: Utterly brilliant, completely immersive, with some of the cleanest yet most devastating depictions of violence I've encountered in literature.
October 23, 2020
Hexis is a slim book but it wasn’t a quick read. It’s told in what I can best describe as a stream of consciousness but it’s a lot more than that and a lot more than my brain can comprehend but I enjoyed it quite a bit! It’s dark and painful and is sometimes even darkly humorous and it tells SO many truths about being a woman in this world we live in.
“He just sat there, the most natural thing in the world, drinking his fucking coffee like he hadn’t fucking ruined me.”
I don’t think we ever learn names here but we’re told this story by a woman who repeatedly encounters a man who did her all kinds of wrong. He has hurt her, betrayed her, damaged her and she wants him dead, as you do. She is justifiably and fiercely angry and she takes care of business over and over again because this fucker simply will not stay dead.
There’s sex and there is murder and there’s also loads of internal dialogue. It was rather like being in my own scattered head at times (minus the murdering and some other things, ha). It goes sideways and backwards and then sideways again and it did indeed confuse me but it also fascinated me and kept me reading. Was this real or did she have a wildly imaginative imagination? I’m still unsure but her fury boils over in each chapter and it’s a pretty damn glorious event every single time it happens. But know that this is not a “fun” read as it deals with the aftermath of trauma or at least that’s how my brain processed it.
This book was a bit much for my brain. I’m not going to lie. Give it a read if you want to expand your horror horizons and also your brain.
“He just sat there, the most natural thing in the world, drinking his fucking coffee like he hadn’t fucking ruined me.”
I don’t think we ever learn names here but we’re told this story by a woman who repeatedly encounters a man who did her all kinds of wrong. He has hurt her, betrayed her, damaged her and she wants him dead, as you do. She is justifiably and fiercely angry and she takes care of business over and over again because this fucker simply will not stay dead.
There’s sex and there is murder and there’s also loads of internal dialogue. It was rather like being in my own scattered head at times (minus the murdering and some other things, ha). It goes sideways and backwards and then sideways again and it did indeed confuse me but it also fascinated me and kept me reading. Was this real or did she have a wildly imaginative imagination? I’m still unsure but her fury boils over in each chapter and it’s a pretty damn glorious event every single time it happens. But know that this is not a “fun” read as it deals with the aftermath of trauma or at least that’s how my brain processed it.
This book was a bit much for my brain. I’m not going to lie. Give it a read if you want to expand your horror horizons and also your brain.
March 5, 2020
About 20 years ago, I read Milan Kundera’s Unbearable Lightness of Being for an upper level English major course. It came on the heels of Dr. Zhivago by Boris Pasternak, and I felt like I was wrapped in a whirlwind. Zhivago is a dense Russian novel of love and loss. Kundera’s book is lighter in terms of length but is mentally heavy. Why this trip down memory lane? Charlene Elsby’s debut novella, Hexis, is as dense and heavy as both Pasternak and Kundera’s books. It’s a head trip of love, loss, hatred, and murder.
Like a fellow book lover, I too am at a loss to explain this book. Be sure to check out Bibloculus' review, too. The most basic premise of the book is that we are in the head of a woman for whom time is fluid. She meets and re-meets a lover (or a former lover; I am still thinking about this), and, as the synopsis mentions, kills him. Over and over again. I cannot share too much more of the plot both because I am still digesting it and you just need to experience this one for yourself. I don’t think I CAN tell you what it’s about in an absolute sense.
There are times in this book when it felt like Elsby was in my head. At one point the main character mentions driving by her old lover’s house and so on, and I absolutely remember doing something similar. There are other moments in which the stream of consciousness felt like it could be my own and I think other readers might feel like this as well. Elsby plucks intangible thoughts from the air and makes them real. Perhaps this is why it is still so hard for me to grasp and hold on to more tangible feelings.
Give this book a try. Let go of the need to understand everything with exacting detail. I do know two things. This book was a philosophical experience and I need more from Charlene Elsby.
Like a fellow book lover, I too am at a loss to explain this book. Be sure to check out Bibloculus' review, too. The most basic premise of the book is that we are in the head of a woman for whom time is fluid. She meets and re-meets a lover (or a former lover; I am still thinking about this), and, as the synopsis mentions, kills him. Over and over again. I cannot share too much more of the plot both because I am still digesting it and you just need to experience this one for yourself. I don’t think I CAN tell you what it’s about in an absolute sense.
There are times in this book when it felt like Elsby was in my head. At one point the main character mentions driving by her old lover’s house and so on, and I absolutely remember doing something similar. There are other moments in which the stream of consciousness felt like it could be my own and I think other readers might feel like this as well. Elsby plucks intangible thoughts from the air and makes them real. Perhaps this is why it is still so hard for me to grasp and hold on to more tangible feelings.
Give this book a try. Let go of the need to understand everything with exacting detail. I do know two things. This book was a philosophical experience and I need more from Charlene Elsby.
February 8, 2021
I usually start off my reviews with a brief blurb of the book to give readers an idea of what the story is about. ‘Hexis’ is a book that is nigh on impossible to blurb while simultaneously giving the reader an idea of what to expect, as it doesn’t have a story in the traditional sense. ‘Hexis’ is a 150 page-long philosophical stream of consciousness. I appreciate I may have lost a lot of you already with this intro alone, and I think that is an apt an introduction to this book as you are likely to find.
The first thing to mention, to those of you still curious, is that ‘Hexis’ is an incredibly dense book, almost to the point of being impenetrably difficult to read at times. Although it is relatively short, I read it in several sittings over a few days. I sometimes found myself absolutely riveted, but just as often found myself lost and more than a little confused and struggled with it, almost to the point in giving up entirely. I wasn’t expecting an easy read from a novel that opens with a lengthy quote from Aristotle and an easy read this most certainly is not.
If you can persevere, however, it is unlike anything you’ll have read before. The book is about an unnamed woman who is haunted by a decades-old abusive relationship. She sees (and often kills) this man everywhere she goes. Is it real? Imagined? Something in between? I was never quite sure, and I’m not convinced the answers are given to us either way.
Is Hexis a revenge fantasy? A horror story? A dark comedy? A philosophy textbook masquerading as fiction? All of the above, and it still doesn’t come close to defining the book. It is consistently laugh-out-loud funny, but also brutally violent, often shocking, and painfully downbeat. I doubt many readers would sympathise with the character, but there are a lot of universal truths that her experiences expose which may be sadly familiar to a lot of readers.
Just in terms of a pure horror book, it is extremely effective. There are plenty of harshly violent moments, and Elsby doesn’t shy away from them for a second. There are elements of revolting body horror that will turn even the strongest stomach and it is all relayed to us in darkly poetic, unflinching prose to make sure you never forget what you have read. Like all truly memorable horror books however, it’s the psychological horrors that will really stay with you.
This is not a book for everyone. I’d go so far as to say it’s not a book that would appeal to most people, but it is an incredibly assured and powerful book nonetheless. I can’t claim to have understood everything I read, but I very much appreciated the challenge it presented, both in terms of content and delivery.
You can read more reviews of new and upcoming horror releases at https://www.myindiemuse.com/category/...
I also promote indie horror via Twitter - @RickReadsHorror
The first thing to mention, to those of you still curious, is that ‘Hexis’ is an incredibly dense book, almost to the point of being impenetrably difficult to read at times. Although it is relatively short, I read it in several sittings over a few days. I sometimes found myself absolutely riveted, but just as often found myself lost and more than a little confused and struggled with it, almost to the point in giving up entirely. I wasn’t expecting an easy read from a novel that opens with a lengthy quote from Aristotle and an easy read this most certainly is not.
If you can persevere, however, it is unlike anything you’ll have read before. The book is about an unnamed woman who is haunted by a decades-old abusive relationship. She sees (and often kills) this man everywhere she goes. Is it real? Imagined? Something in between? I was never quite sure, and I’m not convinced the answers are given to us either way.
Is Hexis a revenge fantasy? A horror story? A dark comedy? A philosophy textbook masquerading as fiction? All of the above, and it still doesn’t come close to defining the book. It is consistently laugh-out-loud funny, but also brutally violent, often shocking, and painfully downbeat. I doubt many readers would sympathise with the character, but there are a lot of universal truths that her experiences expose which may be sadly familiar to a lot of readers.
Just in terms of a pure horror book, it is extremely effective. There are plenty of harshly violent moments, and Elsby doesn’t shy away from them for a second. There are elements of revolting body horror that will turn even the strongest stomach and it is all relayed to us in darkly poetic, unflinching prose to make sure you never forget what you have read. Like all truly memorable horror books however, it’s the psychological horrors that will really stay with you.
This is not a book for everyone. I’d go so far as to say it’s not a book that would appeal to most people, but it is an incredibly assured and powerful book nonetheless. I can’t claim to have understood everything I read, but I very much appreciated the challenge it presented, both in terms of content and delivery.
You can read more reviews of new and upcoming horror releases at https://www.myindiemuse.com/category/...
I also promote indie horror via Twitter - @RickReadsHorror
February 17, 2020
Though this is a slim book at 138 pages, don’t let its size fool you. There is much more than meets the eye between these pages. The explanation of the title, a philosophical term, is an epigraph to the book, and the definition itself is obfuscating, serving as a warning of what the reader is about to get themselves into.
This book is not an easy read, nor was it meant to be. It doesn’t follow a typical narrative and in fact, I wouldn’t call it a narrative story at all. But if you are interested to dig into each chapter, it is well worth the effort.
In short, it is the story of a woman who kills a man again and again, each effort, though deliberate and extravagantly detailed, ends up being in vain.
Though that is the content, I saw the book, not as a narrative about a murderous woman but rather as a metaphorical tale about power and expected gender roles. Hexis stems from “having,” and this idea of possession is at the forefront of the book. The woman is desired by the man she detests, and it is not so much that she detests him as she does not want to be possessed. They are caught in a constant struggle between “the haver and the had,” and as Aristotle notes, “the process will go on to infinity, if we can have the having of what we have.” It turns the brain around a bit, no?
The unnamed woman knows where her power lies, or at least the only power she thinks she has access to—her sex. She manipulates the men around her to accomplish her grim task and though she succeeds, she also fails because the story comes back around and puts her on the bottom again every time. I wondered what the outcome might be if she broke away from that societally created power structure and took a different angle.
This book goes to some dark places and was uncomfortably descriptive on more than one occasion. But that is the joy of good horror—it gives us something to shy away from while at the same time we confront it. Again and again. A hexis type of struggle.
This book definitely is not for everyone, but I do enjoy a book that wrestles with my understanding, even if there isn’t truly a narrative.
Another brilliant cover by Matthew Revert. My thanks to Clash Books for my copy of this one to read and review for the Ladies of Horror Fiction team.
This book is not an easy read, nor was it meant to be. It doesn’t follow a typical narrative and in fact, I wouldn’t call it a narrative story at all. But if you are interested to dig into each chapter, it is well worth the effort.
In short, it is the story of a woman who kills a man again and again, each effort, though deliberate and extravagantly detailed, ends up being in vain.
Though that is the content, I saw the book, not as a narrative about a murderous woman but rather as a metaphorical tale about power and expected gender roles. Hexis stems from “having,” and this idea of possession is at the forefront of the book. The woman is desired by the man she detests, and it is not so much that she detests him as she does not want to be possessed. They are caught in a constant struggle between “the haver and the had,” and as Aristotle notes, “the process will go on to infinity, if we can have the having of what we have.” It turns the brain around a bit, no?
The unnamed woman knows where her power lies, or at least the only power she thinks she has access to—her sex. She manipulates the men around her to accomplish her grim task and though she succeeds, she also fails because the story comes back around and puts her on the bottom again every time. I wondered what the outcome might be if she broke away from that societally created power structure and took a different angle.
This book goes to some dark places and was uncomfortably descriptive on more than one occasion. But that is the joy of good horror—it gives us something to shy away from while at the same time we confront it. Again and again. A hexis type of struggle.
This book definitely is not for everyone, but I do enjoy a book that wrestles with my understanding, even if there isn’t truly a narrative.
Another brilliant cover by Matthew Revert. My thanks to Clash Books for my copy of this one to read and review for the Ladies of Horror Fiction team.
December 22, 2020
Well this book was different to say the least. This was a hard read for me but not because of violence or content. This book is like a OCD trip through the thought process of the female character rationalizing every thought of everything she was doing . This book was in ways like reading someone's consciousness and conscience at the same time if that makes sense lol. It was a really good read though. It's one of those books you'll either like it or be like meh but the writing was awesome. Although it was a difficult read it was a good one.
March 14, 2020
CLASH just keeps putting out great books. This is an odd little horror-comedy about a woman that can't stop killing her ex-boyfriends. It had Patrick Bateman vibes, but instead of railing against the constraints of masculinity, it's about the constraints of femininity and how it makes one woman tear at the edges of it. It's an unconventional narrative and oftentimes reads more like a philosophy tract than a traditional story.
Elsby has a hilarious, acerbic wit and writes like a razor. It's depressing. It shows the dark absurdity of a world that's tilted just a bit sideways. It's bleak. It had me laughing out loud.
Elsby has a hilarious, acerbic wit and writes like a razor. It's depressing. It shows the dark absurdity of a world that's tilted just a bit sideways. It's bleak. It had me laughing out loud.
December 24, 2020
"Every girl wants to be someone else. The commonality between them is that they hate themselves."
Hexis was an EXPERIENCE unlike any other. To fully understand what I mean, you must take this journey yourself. It wasn't until after I finished that I found out Charlene Elsby is a DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY. This explains so much. Basically, she's a genius and while I found that a lot of Hexis may have gone over my head, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am eagerly awaiting more from Elsby.
Hexis was an EXPERIENCE unlike any other. To fully understand what I mean, you must take this journey yourself. It wasn't until after I finished that I found out Charlene Elsby is a DOCTOR OF PHILOSOPHY. This explains so much. Basically, she's a genius and while I found that a lot of Hexis may have gone over my head, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am eagerly awaiting more from Elsby.
January 8, 2021
Oh man, I almost didn't finish this 3 times. The narrator is almost compulsively rambling the whole time.
Now I know why my husband zones out 3 minutes into a conversation with me.
It was great, reminded me a little too much of inside my own, very obnoxious head.
Now I know why my husband zones out 3 minutes into a conversation with me.
It was great, reminded me a little too much of inside my own, very obnoxious head.
July 11, 2022
A short novel about a deeply troubled young woman who goes on a murderous rampage of sorts and reflects on her traumatic past. The story is told from the character’s fragmented perspective, giving the reader only an elliptical view of the experience. What makes it interesting is that it’s almost more of a philosophy book, like a mixture of Jean Paul Sartre and Lydia Lunch. The character has a very bleak and paranoid worldview that perceives the world as a constant threat of sexual violence and shame. I actually liked the conclusion of this one and appreciated how richly felt the perspective is; but it’s also a little shapeless and grimy for my tastes. Might pair well with (or you may also like) Gina Wohlsdorf’s Blood Highway.
June 21, 2020
To read the back cover text is to understand Hexis. There aren't names, overarching plots, only motive, memory, and the methodical peeling apart of behavior. "He" is every ounce of entitlement, disgust, and poison. Who he is has been ingrained in the past, as with most hauntings, and like a ghost, death is not final. He will be there, one way or another, as our narrator kills and discerns and works her mind at the world around her. Hexis is a strangely clockwork novella if a clock could be built of bones and resentment, and will not chime for all. For for those who hear it, it's a gift that spills passage after passage to highlight and adore.
February 18, 2021
There is a lot to think about in this slim novella. It's all the stream of consciousness of an unnamed person, and it's a lot to process and unpack. It's been a while since I've read any stream of consciousness writing, most likely since I read ULYSSES a few years ago. I think that novel turned me off of this type of writing, but I'm glad I read HEXIS because I feel that I have a new appreciation for it. It's not my favorite type of storytelling, but it definitely works for this novella. I think I'm going to be thinking about this book for quite a while.
December 16, 2020
Definitely not for everyone.
Hexis isn't a not in the conventional sense of the term. It's more of a phenomenological experience of a "self" talking itself through life and human interaction as if it were an alien. The narrator of this novel is clearly not an alien. She's a psychopath who kills her lovers, but it is written in a way that explores the gap between who she is and what she does. It is quite a challenging read that will appeal to soul-searching philosophy enthusiasts... like me, I suppose.
It's uncomfortable and obsessive in the best possible way.
Hexis isn't a not in the conventional sense of the term. It's more of a phenomenological experience of a "self" talking itself through life and human interaction as if it were an alien. The narrator of this novel is clearly not an alien. She's a psychopath who kills her lovers, but it is written in a way that explores the gap between who she is and what she does. It is quite a challenging read that will appeal to soul-searching philosophy enthusiasts... like me, I suppose.
It's uncomfortable and obsessive in the best possible way.
January 8, 2021
This book was irritating. There is basically no plot, just ten chapters of the protagonist doing the same thing with no explanation. That’s not clever or illuminating, as so many reviews seem to gush, it’s lazy and uninspiring. The prose is dense and impenetrable which buried some clever observations and thought provoking ideas, making the book all the more frustrating. I only finished this book because it was short but I was at the point of giving up several times, more out of annoyance than disinterest.
September 23, 2025
Philosophical and feminist. I think this book needed me to be smarter than I am.
December 20, 2019
Hexis is a stream of consciousness narrative about a woman who kills one man—the same man—over and over again. Her obsessive, detailed analysis of each killing, explaining how and why reminds me of Nicholson Baker’s The Mezzanine, in its first person narrative with extreme attention to detail.
At some points, I wondered if it was whether the narrator killing men who represent him, as serial killers tend to do. There is one person that they target, and they kill people who remind them of that person. In essence, they kill the same person many times, just like the narrator of Hexis does.
The narrator understands what gives a person power over another—sex, in particular, and how to use it to manipulate men and their image of her. She uses it as currency, to get what she wants, even though she doesn’t enjoy it. She’s searching for power, throughout the book, particularly over the unnamed man.
It’s not that this man is particularly bad. He’s mediocre, yet expects her to be perfect. He says that they are meant for each other. This is, ultimately, his crime. He annoys her by his very presence—he breathes the air that should be hers, he expects something from her that she has no intention of giving, thus, he must die. She’s like a spider, slowly pulling him in. Always finding the right thing to say or do to get him right where she wants him. Always considering angles. The unnamed man never has a chance.
It's also possible to suspend all belief, and read it as though she keeps running into the same man, and killing him. He haunts her, wherever she goes, a ghost that she can never rid herself of. Charlene Elsby’s writing is bold and poetic, drawing the reader into a dreamscape that is equal parts nightmare and dark comedy.
The narrator’s insistence that this man must die is darkly funny, and the book encompasses the feeling of female rage and disappointment in a way that is pretty on point. Men fail us, often, and they are rarely held accountable. The book brings up the point that if women did as we are told to, then we encounter paradoxes. When we are our best selves, it is often the version that the stereotypical male would not like.
I really enjoyed this book.
At some points, I wondered if it was whether the narrator killing men who represent him, as serial killers tend to do. There is one person that they target, and they kill people who remind them of that person. In essence, they kill the same person many times, just like the narrator of Hexis does.
The narrator understands what gives a person power over another—sex, in particular, and how to use it to manipulate men and their image of her. She uses it as currency, to get what she wants, even though she doesn’t enjoy it. She’s searching for power, throughout the book, particularly over the unnamed man.
It’s not that this man is particularly bad. He’s mediocre, yet expects her to be perfect. He says that they are meant for each other. This is, ultimately, his crime. He annoys her by his very presence—he breathes the air that should be hers, he expects something from her that she has no intention of giving, thus, he must die. She’s like a spider, slowly pulling him in. Always finding the right thing to say or do to get him right where she wants him. Always considering angles. The unnamed man never has a chance.
It's also possible to suspend all belief, and read it as though she keeps running into the same man, and killing him. He haunts her, wherever she goes, a ghost that she can never rid herself of. Charlene Elsby’s writing is bold and poetic, drawing the reader into a dreamscape that is equal parts nightmare and dark comedy.
The narrator’s insistence that this man must die is darkly funny, and the book encompasses the feeling of female rage and disappointment in a way that is pretty on point. Men fail us, often, and they are rarely held accountable. The book brings up the point that if women did as we are told to, then we encounter paradoxes. When we are our best selves, it is often the version that the stereotypical male would not like.
I really enjoyed this book.
March 25, 2022
Phenomenal
I would’ve gotten through this one sooner, but I was highlighting portions every other page. The writing voice was superb, and I appreciated all the philosophy involved in the story. I can honestly say that I’ve yet to read anything like this, and that Charlene Elsby is an insta-buy for me now.
I would’ve gotten through this one sooner, but I was highlighting portions every other page. The writing voice was superb, and I appreciated all the philosophy involved in the story. I can honestly say that I’ve yet to read anything like this, and that Charlene Elsby is an insta-buy for me now.
March 16, 2021
I am officially done... DNF. I tried I really did!
For a small book this was hard going. Not in the content but the overall boredom I suffered and struggle to pick this up.
Not for me and I really thought it would be.
For a small book this was hard going. Not in the content but the overall boredom I suffered and struggle to pick this up.
Not for me and I really thought it would be.
March 6, 2022
Not as focused as Psychros but Elsby thinks in interesting ways.
October 7, 2023
Remember my last review for "String Follow" where I was all about how it's a book that's not for everyone but totally for me? This is the other side of that coin. "Hexis" is so not for everyone but it's specific audience seems to love it. I am mostly guessing at that from the 5* reviews I see but was this ever so not for me. From the writing to the the narrator to whatever here is masking as a plot: all not for me, I was so not enthused.
For real, there is not plot. At the end of each chapter our main character kills her ex-boyfriend and it is never explained if this is a fantasy or a speculative thing or a dark magical dreamscape, this book does not explain. Before each of these murders she rambles, supposedly philosophically, and often includes lengthy description of sex in which she claims to not like it but seeks it out nonetheless because that is her power as woman. It seems some female readers relate to this character and I hope those people are seeing a therapist. I mean, this person is off and if you find that fascinating to read about more power to you (I mean, I often enjoy stories about disturbed characters, so I can understand the appeal of that side of this story) but if you think this is great female representation you need to see someone, not as a joke because I dislike the book but as a real thought because this MC herself desperately needs the help of a therapist. The way she is hung up on her ex is beyond not healthy and reading reviews I found it shocking how many women seem to think this book speaks truths about the female existence...
Stream of consciousness to a fault, I lost track of what was going on and what the unnamed heroine was saying or doing and definitely of what the point was. The kind of story where I literally thought at some point she should stop playing the victim card and I hate that term. She made me do it thought. Hej, if she can blame her ex for everything I can blame her for making me think the thoughts of a male conservative!
I remember reading the synopsis and feeling intrigued but what pushed me into finally purchasing it was this cover, I mean at the bookstore I was given the choice between different books from my TBR and, sadly, I went with this because of the cover. Points to the marketing, I guess, they made a sell to the wrong reader. I like my indie Horror novellas so much but I have to make smarter choices. Can't really blame that on the main character or can I? Can I take her obsessiveness and lay the blame for my superficiality on her? Can I be relentless and ignore my own part in this, after all I suffered and my pain, my feelings, my devastation should be at the center of this review. I mean I could leave now and move on with my life but I could also continue this review, stare at this cover and its allure a bit longer, try again to love the book but realize it doesn't care about me, not at all, it has its own idea of how to treat women, of how to make women feel, how to make me feel. I deserve to relate to this, too, and if all I have is a broken sucker heart cover we will do that dance together after all, lick each other to the core and spit everything out that's on the inside till there is nothing left but the hurt.
Or not. This was not for me. And I am wrecked it took up space in my October reading.
For real, there is not plot. At the end of each chapter our main character kills her ex-boyfriend and it is never explained if this is a fantasy or a speculative thing or a dark magical dreamscape, this book does not explain. Before each of these murders she rambles, supposedly philosophically, and often includes lengthy description of sex in which she claims to not like it but seeks it out nonetheless because that is her power as woman. It seems some female readers relate to this character and I hope those people are seeing a therapist. I mean, this person is off and if you find that fascinating to read about more power to you (I mean, I often enjoy stories about disturbed characters, so I can understand the appeal of that side of this story) but if you think this is great female representation you need to see someone, not as a joke because I dislike the book but as a real thought because this MC herself desperately needs the help of a therapist. The way she is hung up on her ex is beyond not healthy and reading reviews I found it shocking how many women seem to think this book speaks truths about the female existence...
Stream of consciousness to a fault, I lost track of what was going on and what the unnamed heroine was saying or doing and definitely of what the point was. The kind of story where I literally thought at some point she should stop playing the victim card and I hate that term. She made me do it thought. Hej, if she can blame her ex for everything I can blame her for making me think the thoughts of a male conservative!
I remember reading the synopsis and feeling intrigued but what pushed me into finally purchasing it was this cover, I mean at the bookstore I was given the choice between different books from my TBR and, sadly, I went with this because of the cover. Points to the marketing, I guess, they made a sell to the wrong reader. I like my indie Horror novellas so much but I have to make smarter choices. Can't really blame that on the main character or can I? Can I take her obsessiveness and lay the blame for my superficiality on her? Can I be relentless and ignore my own part in this, after all I suffered and my pain, my feelings, my devastation should be at the center of this review. I mean I could leave now and move on with my life but I could also continue this review, stare at this cover and its allure a bit longer, try again to love the book but realize it doesn't care about me, not at all, it has its own idea of how to treat women, of how to make women feel, how to make me feel. I deserve to relate to this, too, and if all I have is a broken sucker heart cover we will do that dance together after all, lick each other to the core and spit everything out that's on the inside till there is nothing left but the hurt.
Or not. This was not for me. And I am wrecked it took up space in my October reading.
December 9, 2023
I understand that in philosophy “hexis” represents a state of mind, tendency towards something, a disposition or at its most basic level a learned and practiced habit. Our unnamed narrators’ hexis is murdering her terrible ex-boyfriend. Has she become unmoored in time such that she is encountering him and killing him at various stages of her timeline. It’s also possible that she is murdering men that look enough like him that in her despair and delusion she uses as a stand-in for him. Or maybe she’s just engaged in a repeated revenge fantasy in various forms. Or it could be all or none of those things. Whatever is happening, it’s clearly meant to evoke the traumatizing and retraumatizing effect that women suffer on a daily basis living under a patriarchal system that doesn’t take their pain seriously. This is a solid 3.5 stars for me. I understand the point the author is making but it does get a tad repetitive after a while. Still recommended for those who like their horror ambiguous, bloody and philosophical.
March 9, 2024
This book was excellent and experimental. The writing was so well done, and the story was mind bending, and very graphic at times. This is very hard book to categorize into a genre. I will be reading more by this author.
February 11, 2020
Here is a compelling read from paragraph one. I wouldn't dare call this a page-turner. Instead, imagine if you will, getting shoved down a flight of stairs through a cyclic tale of violence and unraveling psychosis that lasts for 150 pages, interrupted only by unexpected bouts of violence as quick and to the point as a sucker-punch, only you're getting pistol-whipped, too, and the pistol goes off and hits center mass each time the stairs come to a landing without failure. Buy this one today.
January 17, 2023
Reminiscent of Cixous, but here Medusa isn’t merely laughing—she’s cackling, she’s killing, she’s fucking, she’s girl
May 29, 2021
One of the most difficult books to read, perhaps, ever! This book is like being bludgeoned over the brain with what it is like inside the head of the victim of an abusive relationship. This is the longest it has taken me to read a 150 page book. I simply could not read more than one chapter at a time as I literally had to figure out what each mental scenario was trying to say and then put it into the context of the story. A very difficult, yet, rewarding experience! This one is going to linger around my head a while!
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March 30, 2023This was an impulse buy, so I went into this with just the cover and the short excerpt on the back (which I was very intrigued by). The book skips around several different times in the protagonist’s life, showing her obsession with an ex and the harm he had caused her. There is much sexual violence, social conflict, and repetitious death. The stream of conscious style is definitely what made the book stand out, but it did go on and on for me. I don’t regret reading it, but it would have ended on a higher note for me had I stopped reading about halfway through instead.
June 24, 2020
You can read my full review at: https://mediadrome.wordpress.com/2020...
Think of it like a mental exorcism – and I mean that in the best possible way. It may not feel warm and fuzzy, but by the time it’s done, you’re probably going to find yourself feeling a little freer.
Think of it like a mental exorcism – and I mean that in the best possible way. It may not feel warm and fuzzy, but by the time it’s done, you’re probably going to find yourself feeling a little freer.
September 16, 2021
After reading the definition 39443 times, I still don't understand what the word "hexis" actually means. Am I just that dumb or are am I not alone? For such a short novel, this felt quite dense. Definitely not for everyone & that includes me.
May 3, 2022
Unfortunately I didn't like this book. I don't liked the writing style, it was really confusing sometimes. I was bored when read this book, I just finished it because it was short.
I ended up giving two stars but just because it have some scenes what I liked.
I ended up giving two stars but just because it have some scenes what I liked.
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