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Difficult daughters
Set around the time of Partition and written with absorbing intelligence and sympathy, Difficult Daughters is the story of a woman torn between family duty, the desire for education, and illicit love. Virmati, a young woman born in Amritsar into an austere and high-minded household, falls in love with a neighbour, the Professor--a man who is already married. That the Professor eventually marries Virmati, installs her in his home (alongside his furious first wife) and helps her towards further studies in Lahore, is small consolation to her scandalised family. Or even to Virmati, who finds that the battle for her own independence has created irrevocable lines of partition and pain around her.
Difficult Daughters was short-listed for the Crossword Book Award in India.
Difficult Daughters was short-listed for the Crossword Book Award in India.
262 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1998
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3102 people want to read
About the author
Manju Kapur
19 books213 followersManju Kapur is the author of four novels. Her first, Difficult Daughters, won the Commonwealth Prize for First Novels (Eurasia Section) and was a number one bestseller in India. Her second novel A Married Woman was called 'fluent and witty' in the Independent, while her third, Home, was described as 'glistening with detail and emotional acuity' in the Sunday Times. Her most recent novel, The Immigrant, has been longlisted for the DSC Prize for South Asian Literature. She lives in New Delhi.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 177 reviews
March 4, 2013
I’m posting the review under this edition with a brown cover, conveniently ignoring that what I actually read was a flowery pink atrocity. I would have never picked it up myself but I actually reserved it at the library because I liked the title. The pink cover with flowers is the new edition by nons other than Faber, recently responsible for the sacrilegious cover of the anniversary edition of The Bell Jar (http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-ent...).
If you have read other books about the struggle of Indian women and you’re not deeply interested in the subject, you can probably skip this one. Although, if you haven’t, this would be a good choice for a start.
It mostly concerns itself with peculiar family dynamics, little wars, tiny power struggles – pretty much anything that’s left to women who don’t have any other outlet through which they could express themselves or gain a sense of accomplishment.
To spice things up Manju Kapur included the political background (the story takes place before and around Partition) and even tries to create some parallels between the micro and macrocosm. While I really appreciate the effort, I can’t say those bits were woven in seamlessly. They did often feel like newspaper cuttings pasted in.
The book tells the story of Virmati and is partly narrated by her daughter who is trying to learn more about her mother. Therefore there is a lot of fore-shadowing and we pretty much know where the story is going and how it is going to end. I can’t help but feel it would’ve been a more engaging read if we didn’t know Virmati’s fate from the get go.
As it is revealed at the very beginning, I can also tell you that young Virmati ends up marrying the Professor and becoming his second wife. This antagonizes her own family, as well as the first wife obviously. Initially, I empathised with the Professor – here is a man who went to study in Oxford, came back and had to marry an illiterate woman the family had chosen for him. He had already been infected with the Western balderdash or romantic love and partnership, so who could blame him for falling hard and deep for a young and bright Virmati. But soon it becomes apparent that the Professor is a weak man, who prefers to have a cake and eat it too, and also it is not really a partner he is looking for. True to his nickname, he is actually looking for a student. Someone who would listen and learn, someone he could mould according to his vision but someone who would never exercise their independent reasoning skills. In the end it was maybe his first wife who ended being the smarter one by refusing to learn to read or care for anything he tried to teach her, she stood her ground and stuck to what she thought was important, be it cooking and astrology.
If you have read other books about the struggle of Indian women and you’re not deeply interested in the subject, you can probably skip this one. Although, if you haven’t, this would be a good choice for a start.
It mostly concerns itself with peculiar family dynamics, little wars, tiny power struggles – pretty much anything that’s left to women who don’t have any other outlet through which they could express themselves or gain a sense of accomplishment.
To spice things up Manju Kapur included the political background (the story takes place before and around Partition) and even tries to create some parallels between the micro and macrocosm. While I really appreciate the effort, I can’t say those bits were woven in seamlessly. They did often feel like newspaper cuttings pasted in.
The book tells the story of Virmati and is partly narrated by her daughter who is trying to learn more about her mother. Therefore there is a lot of fore-shadowing and we pretty much know where the story is going and how it is going to end. I can’t help but feel it would’ve been a more engaging read if we didn’t know Virmati’s fate from the get go.
As it is revealed at the very beginning, I can also tell you that young Virmati ends up marrying the Professor and becoming his second wife. This antagonizes her own family, as well as the first wife obviously. Initially, I empathised with the Professor – here is a man who went to study in Oxford, came back and had to marry an illiterate woman the family had chosen for him. He had already been infected with the Western balderdash or romantic love and partnership, so who could blame him for falling hard and deep for a young and bright Virmati. But soon it becomes apparent that the Professor is a weak man, who prefers to have a cake and eat it too, and also it is not really a partner he is looking for. True to his nickname, he is actually looking for a student. Someone who would listen and learn, someone he could mould according to his vision but someone who would never exercise their independent reasoning skills. In the end it was maybe his first wife who ended being the smarter one by refusing to learn to read or care for anything he tried to teach her, she stood her ground and stuck to what she thought was important, be it cooking and astrology.
January 30, 2023
Difficult Daughters is Manju Kapur's first book, and despite all the accolades heaped upon it, it's a clunky effort that does not really convey any actual message worth writing about. The narrative takes place in Amritsar and Lahore and is set in the 1930s and 40s, in pre-Partition India. Virmati is the protagonist with whom readers spend the most time, but the secondary characters are quite vibrant and have their own stories to tell.
Virmati is discontented with the life path laid out for her by society. Marriage at a young age, children, and a life of servitude to in-laws in her 'own home'. She clutches at education as a way out of this stifling environment. After a lot of hullaballoo, she is sent off to study. Instead, she is seduced by a married Professor, which sets her on a ruinous path. Refusing to marry, she is sent away to study in Lahore, away from the Professor. Instead of growing up like everyone does, Virmati continues to pine for this trashy man despite his married status. I sort of lost interest in her creepy love story around this time.
Not really sure what this book tried to convey. Women need to rebel by becoming a second wife to a third-rate man, when they have the potential to be the first in something? Virmati met many, many interesting women who were out there doing things. Why did they not influence her? It's rather hard to believe she wanted to be a second wife to this lecher of a man who hits on his students! Instead of taking the culture forward, she actually went backward. I am disappointed that Virmati never actually does anything in her life and even discourages her daughter from doing so. What's the actual point of her character?
Though Virmati began grating on me, I found some of the secondary characters far more intriguing and would have loved some more background on them. Ganga, the Professor's first wife, is a traditional woman who lost the marital fight. Her perspective would be interesting to know. Swarnalata is the most intriguing character in the whole of the book. Perhaps the book should have been written from her perspective with Virmati in short snippets as her forlorn, boring friend, obsessed with her illicit affair with a creep.
The setting was quite evocative and the research has been pretty decent. I did not see the point of introducing the Partition chapters in such detail and it just served to obscure the actual ending of the story for the characters. I found the conclusion quite weak in that respect. However, WW2 and the Independence struggle in the background was quite expertly weaved into the story and became a part of the characters' lives. In short, the book does take one back in time and has some powerful moments, but the main character is unfortunately a loser.
Virmati is discontented with the life path laid out for her by society. Marriage at a young age, children, and a life of servitude to in-laws in her 'own home'. She clutches at education as a way out of this stifling environment. After a lot of hullaballoo, she is sent off to study. Instead, she is seduced by a married Professor, which sets her on a ruinous path. Refusing to marry, she is sent away to study in Lahore, away from the Professor. Instead of growing up like everyone does, Virmati continues to pine for this trashy man despite his married status. I sort of lost interest in her creepy love story around this time.
Not really sure what this book tried to convey. Women need to rebel by becoming a second wife to a third-rate man, when they have the potential to be the first in something? Virmati met many, many interesting women who were out there doing things. Why did they not influence her? It's rather hard to believe she wanted to be a second wife to this lecher of a man who hits on his students! Instead of taking the culture forward, she actually went backward. I am disappointed that Virmati never actually does anything in her life and even discourages her daughter from doing so. What's the actual point of her character?
Though Virmati began grating on me, I found some of the secondary characters far more intriguing and would have loved some more background on them. Ganga, the Professor's first wife, is a traditional woman who lost the marital fight. Her perspective would be interesting to know. Swarnalata is the most intriguing character in the whole of the book. Perhaps the book should have been written from her perspective with Virmati in short snippets as her forlorn, boring friend, obsessed with her illicit affair with a creep.
The setting was quite evocative and the research has been pretty decent. I did not see the point of introducing the Partition chapters in such detail and it just served to obscure the actual ending of the story for the characters. I found the conclusion quite weak in that respect. However, WW2 and the Independence struggle in the background was quite expertly weaved into the story and became a part of the characters' lives. In short, the book does take one back in time and has some powerful moments, but the main character is unfortunately a loser.
May 4, 2010
This book made me miss a lot about north India (talk of cooking, of food, of sleeping outside). I wanted to like Difficult Daughters, but overall I thought it was clunky. The partition motif was pretty heavy-handed, and the story skimmed along so many events that I never got much of a feel for the characters. The writing on spaces was much stronger, but didn't receive as much attention. If the narrative was going to be so character focused, I would have liked more time spent ruminating on feelings, emotions, all that sappy stuff that makes events and surroundings lively or engaging or devastating. As it was, the writing seemed a little nervous, uneasy. The story was intriguing, but not vibrant. Glad that Manju Kapur is writing, glad that publishers are printing books about women, about partition, about sex, and about families. Hoping that we'll get balance in the future--talking about individuals, talking about ideas, understanding the magnitude of families, of countries, of hurt.
January 29, 2023
"..She couldn't have , because when I grew up, I was careful to tailor my needs to what I knew I could get. That is my female inheritance. That is what she tried to give me. Adjust, Compromise and Adapt."
Difficult Daughters is a story set in the era of partition and explores the trials and tribulations of a female protagonist- Viramati.
What worked for me is the complexity of the story, talking about infidelity in marriage and forbidden relationships, pressure on women in both scenarios, politics of control in a relationship and deep rooted patriarchy. Also, it explored a more nuanced mother-daughter relationship and what a mother passes down to her daughter based on her subjective experiences.
What did not work for me is how disjointed it became in narration at certain points- sometimes it is continued story from the past and suddenly there is a third person telling their perspective.
That being said, I enjoyed the story and I could not put the book down because I wanted to know how and where it would end. Coming to that, the end is also pretty dull and lack-lustre
On the whole, my 5 stars is for capturing women in the partition era and for conjuring a strong female protagonist, different from the social norm of the times!
Difficult Daughters is a story set in the era of partition and explores the trials and tribulations of a female protagonist- Viramati.
What worked for me is the complexity of the story, talking about infidelity in marriage and forbidden relationships, pressure on women in both scenarios, politics of control in a relationship and deep rooted patriarchy. Also, it explored a more nuanced mother-daughter relationship and what a mother passes down to her daughter based on her subjective experiences.
What did not work for me is how disjointed it became in narration at certain points- sometimes it is continued story from the past and suddenly there is a third person telling their perspective.
That being said, I enjoyed the story and I could not put the book down because I wanted to know how and where it would end. Coming to that, the end is also pretty dull and lack-lustre
On the whole, my 5 stars is for capturing women in the partition era and for conjuring a strong female protagonist, different from the social norm of the times!
August 7, 2013
This book had a lot of promise, unfortunately, for me, it failed. Having finished the book, I felt that Ida's birth wasn't where it should have ended. It felt unfinished. I never understood why Ida wanted to know more about her Mother's life. I would have liked to know more about Ida's life and more about her relationship with Viramati. The actual bulk of the book is well written, it is an engrossing tale of love and deceit set in the backdrop of India's partition.
March 2, 2012
Set in the backdrop of World War II, partition and the nascent India, this book is about love- myopic, pure, rebellious, painful but strong. Virmati is the eldest daughter of an affluent Arya Samaj family which encourages education but not independent thinking for their girls. She falls in love with a much married professor with two kids and thus starts the painful journey of being suspended in time for her life to start. After they are married and Virmati disowned by her family, her husband encourages her to study, to learn- by his choice, to be his companion, be independent within the limits he sets and keep up with his parallel family. The story moves beautifully through time and places- Amritsar, Lahore, finally Delhi. Virmati desire to have the professor to herself, her struggles, frustrations, her little joys and 'non-cooperation' is depicted wonderfully. While the country bleeds in birth and finds peace eventually, does it come to Virmati and her husband? Read it to find yourself. Amazingly thorough in research for the backdrop, the narrative is very powerful- I could almost imagine the story unfolding in my head (no, I wan't asleep :)), just a little slow sometimes but wonderful read!
June 19, 2014
Manju Kapur’s debut novel, Difficult Daughters, is the powerful story of a young woman’s search for independence in a time when the path of a woman’s future was anyone’s decision but her own. Virmati is a young Punjabi girl, born to a high-minded family in Amritsar; the oldest daughter of an ever-growing brood, Virmati spends much of her youth taking care of her siblings. With encouragement from her father and grandfather, Virmati’s dream of pursuing an education becomes her greatest passion, much to the dismay of her mother. As far as Kasturi is concerned, a good marriage is a woman’s destiny and Virmati is merely flirting with disaster. One of the first of the novel’s distinctive qualities is the author’s way of exposing elements of the plot out of order: we are first met with Virmati’s daughter as she reflects on her mother’s death, and we reconnect with her throughout the book as she researches in order to learn more about the life Virmati was loathe to share with her. Additionally, the narrative takes us back as early as the beginning of the 20th century where we briefly witness Virmati’s mother, Kasturi, as a young girl. It’s through these quiet, almost indecipherable shifts of focus that Kapur delivers a clever examination of how three generations of women rebelled against each other in much the same way. Her writing is beautiful and assured throughout, dispersing at will to connect the reader with all manner of information – intense descriptions of the history, nuances of the Indian lifestyle, introductions to innumerable interesting characters – while maintaining a steady focus on the heart of the story, the life of young, determined Virmati.
The narrative follows Virmati’s life through World War II and Partition as her studies are interrupted by an illicit love affair with a neighboring professor – a married man – whose passion for her begins to take the shape of an obsession. Virmati finds herself torn between her love for the professor, her obligations to her family, and her unyielding desire for independence; her life is soon in upheaval as she’s thrust about by the opinions and desires of those around her. With a striking command of language and a natural eloquence, Kapur weaves a story at once heartbreaking and impressively thought-provoking. Her female characters are all fiercely rendered, each fascinating in her own way – from the professor’s disgraced first wife to Virmati’s activist roommate – and each fascinating despite her flaws. No one is without shortcomings in the story, including Virmati, whose devotion to the professor readers may not be able to fully grasp. Virmati’s father is perhaps the most progressively drawn of the male characters here, while the professor seems at first a starry-eyed intellectual evoking compassion before developing into a decidedly selfish, maudlin source of frustration. This, though, feels like quite the unconventional portrait of a romance that Kapur intended to draw, and as the novel progresses it makes Virmati’s story all the more poignant.
First published in 1998, Difficult Daughters went on to win the 1999 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best First Book in the Europe and South Asia region. Reading it, one is quick to forget that the novel was, in fact, Kapur’s debut: her style of writing is risky but beautiful, her confidence steady, and her characters richly developed. Her inclusion of small, consistent details that color the daily life of her Indian women works to bring the authenticity of her India to larger life, even for a foreign reader who may not be familiar with the native terms Kapur is quick to utilize. This is one of the many charms of Difficult Daughters, the way it confidently offers its roots and the road to its present. In her examination of the search for female identity, Kapur puts forth an illuminating novel full of power, honesty, and grace.
(Review © Casee Marie, originally published on June 19, 2014 at LiteraryInklings.com. A copy of the book was provided for the purpose of review.)
The narrative follows Virmati’s life through World War II and Partition as her studies are interrupted by an illicit love affair with a neighboring professor – a married man – whose passion for her begins to take the shape of an obsession. Virmati finds herself torn between her love for the professor, her obligations to her family, and her unyielding desire for independence; her life is soon in upheaval as she’s thrust about by the opinions and desires of those around her. With a striking command of language and a natural eloquence, Kapur weaves a story at once heartbreaking and impressively thought-provoking. Her female characters are all fiercely rendered, each fascinating in her own way – from the professor’s disgraced first wife to Virmati’s activist roommate – and each fascinating despite her flaws. No one is without shortcomings in the story, including Virmati, whose devotion to the professor readers may not be able to fully grasp. Virmati’s father is perhaps the most progressively drawn of the male characters here, while the professor seems at first a starry-eyed intellectual evoking compassion before developing into a decidedly selfish, maudlin source of frustration. This, though, feels like quite the unconventional portrait of a romance that Kapur intended to draw, and as the novel progresses it makes Virmati’s story all the more poignant.
First published in 1998, Difficult Daughters went on to win the 1999 Commonwealth Writers’ Prize for Best First Book in the Europe and South Asia region. Reading it, one is quick to forget that the novel was, in fact, Kapur’s debut: her style of writing is risky but beautiful, her confidence steady, and her characters richly developed. Her inclusion of small, consistent details that color the daily life of her Indian women works to bring the authenticity of her India to larger life, even for a foreign reader who may not be familiar with the native terms Kapur is quick to utilize. This is one of the many charms of Difficult Daughters, the way it confidently offers its roots and the road to its present. In her examination of the search for female identity, Kapur puts forth an illuminating novel full of power, honesty, and grace.
(Review © Casee Marie, originally published on June 19, 2014 at LiteraryInklings.com. A copy of the book was provided for the purpose of review.)
January 27, 2025
1.5
Throughout reading this I kept going back and checking the cover title and author's name to be sure I am reading what I intended to.
ऊँची दुकान फीका पकवान
Okay the writing will keep you going, but no ROI.
My issues-
1.Why the author started the quest about her mother through other's perspective?
2 They say she was passionate of education when clearly she herself keep repeating that it was just a way out from fulfilling the domestic duties. She did her FA because there was death in family she did her MA because it will be easier to maintain the harmony at home if she is away and her husband can have some alone time with her. She never used her education as apparent from book. She participated in certain freedom movements only because of her room mate.
3 Arya Samajis teaching are only limited to men? Her mother kept pressing her for marriage when anyone who know about arya samaj know that they value education,public service. They had elaborate plans for marriage but aren't arya samaj marriage are simple with no dowry and simple rituals?
4.I feel the author had written it for a limited section of readers. You need to know the punjabi words (like pehenji parjaiji etc) to go through this. And don't the co-sisters refer to each other as pehenji (behenji) and if parjai is used isn't it for the elder one?.
5.I find it funny when they mention in the end that Veermati's step daughter chhoti was not interested in anything like humanities, art so she became IAS only to get cheap govt house for her mother and grandmother!
The ending is rushed, as if the author ran out of ink.
As a skim through the review section, I see high words, and I see I am clearly a black sheep.
But I can't help and mention here that some of the reviews have got even the basic wrong.
Throughout reading this I kept going back and checking the cover title and author's name to be sure I am reading what I intended to.
ऊँची दुकान फीका पकवान
Okay the writing will keep you going, but no ROI.
My issues-
1.Why the author started the quest about her mother through other's perspective?
2 They say she was passionate of education when clearly she herself keep repeating that it was just a way out from fulfilling the domestic duties. She did her FA because there was death in family she did her MA because it will be easier to maintain the harmony at home if she is away and her husband can have some alone time with her. She never used her education as apparent from book. She participated in certain freedom movements only because of her room mate.
3 Arya Samajis teaching are only limited to men? Her mother kept pressing her for marriage when anyone who know about arya samaj know that they value education,public service. They had elaborate plans for marriage but aren't arya samaj marriage are simple with no dowry and simple rituals?
4.I feel the author had written it for a limited section of readers. You need to know the punjabi words (like pehenji parjaiji etc) to go through this. And don't the co-sisters refer to each other as pehenji (behenji) and if parjai is used isn't it for the elder one?.
5.I find it funny when they mention in the end that Veermati's step daughter chhoti was not interested in anything like humanities, art so she became IAS only to get cheap govt house for her mother and grandmother!
The ending is rushed, as if the author ran out of ink.
As a skim through the review section, I see high words, and I see I am clearly a black sheep.
But I can't help and mention here that some of the reviews have got even the basic wrong.
May 30, 2019
For more than many reasons this has made it to touch my heart!
January 5, 2024
I'm struggling to understand what the point of this book was. The ending signals that it was about the tempestuous relationships between mothers, and daughters who wish to live lives in opposition to what their mothers want. However, it ends when Virmati's daughter, Ida, who is one of the narrators, is born. The epilogue then features the other characters' perspective on Partition before Ida states she won't let her mother's ghost haunt her.
Except none of this works as a framing device for the novel because Ida is barely in it. We open with her perspective but we spend so much time just with Virmati that Ida never feels like a realised character whose own life is being depicted in conversation with her mother's. She just pops up here and there to remind us that we're getting Virmati's POV through Ida's investigation of her late mother's life. It feels like a last minute narrative device used to unfold the story, but it never comes across as natural on the page.
Also, how were we supposed to feel about Virmati? Because I didn't feel sorry for her as she got older. She was groomed by the Professor, clearly, but she was also so selfish and horrible to everyone. I loathe that her major act of defiance isn't her pursuit of education and a life of independence, but one where she shackles herself to an older, patronising, married man and plays petty games of jealousy against his (rightfully) angry first wife.
It was mostly well-written besides some strange tense choices that felt jarring. Kapur would switch from the past participle to the present in the same chapter, but the descriptions of Amritsar and Lahore were vivid and inviting. I liked hearing more about Swarna Lata and her involvement in the Indian independence movement, but I think Kapur ultimately failed to use the partition of a family as an allegory for the violence of Partition.
Except none of this works as a framing device for the novel because Ida is barely in it. We open with her perspective but we spend so much time just with Virmati that Ida never feels like a realised character whose own life is being depicted in conversation with her mother's. She just pops up here and there to remind us that we're getting Virmati's POV through Ida's investigation of her late mother's life. It feels like a last minute narrative device used to unfold the story, but it never comes across as natural on the page.
Also, how were we supposed to feel about Virmati? Because I didn't feel sorry for her as she got older. She was groomed by the Professor, clearly, but she was also so selfish and horrible to everyone. I loathe that her major act of defiance isn't her pursuit of education and a life of independence, but one where she shackles herself to an older, patronising, married man and plays petty games of jealousy against his (rightfully) angry first wife.
It was mostly well-written besides some strange tense choices that felt jarring. Kapur would switch from the past participle to the present in the same chapter, but the descriptions of Amritsar and Lahore were vivid and inviting. I liked hearing more about Swarna Lata and her involvement in the Indian independence movement, but I think Kapur ultimately failed to use the partition of a family as an allegory for the violence of Partition.
October 24, 2013
I met Madhu Kapur before I read her first book. Her book, like her speaks like a voice of a daughter. Exasperated, frustrated, tired. It's a story about acceptance & for love from another. Virmati wanted her mother to love and appreciate her and she accepted a version of it with her choice of Hari. Her tolerance of her circumstances with the backdrop of gaining an education made her even more isolated in her family & to her peers. She wanted to be traditional but she lacked courage to be really liberal. In the end, the narrator wanted the memory of Virmati to leave her. This journey into the past was meant for us to understand, appreciate & let it go. An important lesson to learn when dealing with relationships with one's mother. Her story is a real one, one familiarly faced by many girls from traditional homes who are bound by duty yet yearn to be seen for themselves, as unique individuals.
September 5, 2011
I found this sitting in a box of old books and realized I'd never read it. I could not put it down! One of the better books I've read in a while.
Evocative description of life in India in the post-Independence era, especially the culture surrounding women. Some of this has continued even in the 21st century so it felt a little familiar. And poignant description of the few months around Partition - brought it all to life for me. A must-read!
Evocative description of life in India in the post-Independence era, especially the culture surrounding women. Some of this has continued even in the 21st century so it felt a little familiar. And poignant description of the few months around Partition - brought it all to life for me. A must-read!
October 25, 2010
Fabulous book!
I loved the way the relationships in this book are laid out and how much understanding has gone into writing this.
I can sympathise with both the mothers and daughters and it's easy to see how you start thinking and acting like your own mother as you get older and have children of your own.
All the Indian references make me miss my family.
I loved the way the relationships in this book are laid out and how much understanding has gone into writing this.
I can sympathise with both the mothers and daughters and it's easy to see how you start thinking and acting like your own mother as you get older and have children of your own.
All the Indian references make me miss my family.
June 23, 2022
In this novel, the author presents the life of a young woman from Amritsar during Partition, who fights with family duty, educational aspirations, and an illegitimate relationship with a college professor.
Kapur suggests that the source of all present-day evil is this strain between modernity and tradition, while religion and inter-religious conflicts become an undertone in the gender confrontation.
Difficult Daughters is exclusive for the reason that it was published in the shadow of Hindu nationalism. The novel form offers a masquerading critique of religious communalism and the complicatedness of national Islam.
In this novel, the space of the narrative is a space where the issue of woman and modernity can be discussed openly. The novel presents a bitter tone to the social and gender constructs that arose because of modernity.
The female protagonist, Virmati, creates a scandalized family situation when she falls in love with the Professor, an already married man, who places her in his home alongside his wife and helps her towards reaching higher education in Lahore.
Virmati is being exploited by a patriarchal system (the Professor) through the mode of colonialism (English literature) and Indian nationalism. Manju attempts to relate her main characters as symbolic of figures the Indian Partition.
On a personal level, Virmati’s character represents female naiveté and passivity because she is easily taken advantage of by the Professor and abused on an emotional level.
After a miscarriage, the author recounts:
“Virmati became better. But not less dull. One abortion and one miscarriage. She was young, she told herself years stretched before her. Years of penetration, years of her insides churning with pregnant beings.
God was speaking. He was punishing her for the first time. Maybe she could never have children. She had robbed her own womb earlier, just as she had robbed another woman of her husband. Ganga’s face, swollen with hate and fear, had followed her everywhere, the venom concentrated in the gaze of her evil eye. Maybe that was why Kishori Devi had taken all those precautions.
The brief time she had been in perfect health, but, preoccupied with shame, she had violated her body. The time for a child lay in the future. No she felt she was left with nothing. Herjob could not sustain her, and flaunting Harish seemed a pathetic gesture, signifying her emotional poverty…”
Virmati realizes the significance of her body and how she, as a woman, is perceived when she infringes her body.
In understanding the gharr-bair (home-outside world) dichotomy, women’s personal lives and relationships were to a great extent impacted by the way they preserved their humility.
The shame image incessantly appears because it is a cultural and religious virtue.
Virmati’s feeling of culpability arises because she feels she has incurred divine wrath. She is trying to achieve a level of modernity through education and social mobility, but she finds herself stumbling on conventional values that haunt her efforts to grasp female agency.
Her internal quarrel is very much the issue of reconciling modernity and tradition.
The author uses episodes likes the one above in relation to the larger political issues of the era to allow for an appraisal of politics and Indian independence.
Another force at work in the novel is the religious communalism, which exhibits the anxiety of self-definition based wholly on religion and nationalistic grounds.
At a larger societal level, Kapur uses the novel to condemn the politics of Partition and Post-Partition events, particularly contemporary Indian issues.
Kapur suggests that the source of all present-day evil is this strain between modernity and tradition, while religion and inter-religious conflicts become an undertone in the gender confrontation.
Difficult Daughters is exclusive for the reason that it was published in the shadow of Hindu nationalism. The novel form offers a masquerading critique of religious communalism and the complicatedness of national Islam.
In this novel, the space of the narrative is a space where the issue of woman and modernity can be discussed openly. The novel presents a bitter tone to the social and gender constructs that arose because of modernity.
The female protagonist, Virmati, creates a scandalized family situation when she falls in love with the Professor, an already married man, who places her in his home alongside his wife and helps her towards reaching higher education in Lahore.
Virmati is being exploited by a patriarchal system (the Professor) through the mode of colonialism (English literature) and Indian nationalism. Manju attempts to relate her main characters as symbolic of figures the Indian Partition.
On a personal level, Virmati’s character represents female naiveté and passivity because she is easily taken advantage of by the Professor and abused on an emotional level.
After a miscarriage, the author recounts:
“Virmati became better. But not less dull. One abortion and one miscarriage. She was young, she told herself years stretched before her. Years of penetration, years of her insides churning with pregnant beings.
God was speaking. He was punishing her for the first time. Maybe she could never have children. She had robbed her own womb earlier, just as she had robbed another woman of her husband. Ganga’s face, swollen with hate and fear, had followed her everywhere, the venom concentrated in the gaze of her evil eye. Maybe that was why Kishori Devi had taken all those precautions.
The brief time she had been in perfect health, but, preoccupied with shame, she had violated her body. The time for a child lay in the future. No she felt she was left with nothing. Herjob could not sustain her, and flaunting Harish seemed a pathetic gesture, signifying her emotional poverty…”
Virmati realizes the significance of her body and how she, as a woman, is perceived when she infringes her body.
In understanding the gharr-bair (home-outside world) dichotomy, women’s personal lives and relationships were to a great extent impacted by the way they preserved their humility.
The shame image incessantly appears because it is a cultural and religious virtue.
Virmati’s feeling of culpability arises because she feels she has incurred divine wrath. She is trying to achieve a level of modernity through education and social mobility, but she finds herself stumbling on conventional values that haunt her efforts to grasp female agency.
Her internal quarrel is very much the issue of reconciling modernity and tradition.
The author uses episodes likes the one above in relation to the larger political issues of the era to allow for an appraisal of politics and Indian independence.
Another force at work in the novel is the religious communalism, which exhibits the anxiety of self-definition based wholly on religion and nationalistic grounds.
At a larger societal level, Kapur uses the novel to condemn the politics of Partition and Post-Partition events, particularly contemporary Indian issues.
April 8, 2024
As a woman, this book left me quivering with rage. The central character is a woman who is encouraged to be strong enough to run the family, but not so strong that she can take decisions for herself. She is given an education, but not consulted on issues that concern her. She is manipulated by a married man into falling in love with him, and even though he knows he can give her nothing by empty words he forces her to walk away from a predictable life. Time and again he lands her in a crisis, and he chooses to ignore the potential repercussion of his selfish demands. And yet, she is unable to cut him out of her life. Worse, despite everything she goes through, she passes on the generational trauma to her daughter. There were times when I actually wanted to push the man off a cliff, so she could lead an emotionally peaceful life. The book left me feeling disturbed, which is certainly the hallmark of a good book.
What worked for me were the descriptions of life in a traditional Arya Samaj household, and of the life of the college women in pre-Partition Lahore. What did not work for me was the descriptions of Partition- it almost seemed like it had been force fitted onto the story, and while I commend the meticulous research that went into it, it was almost superficial.
This was my first book by Manju Kapur. Will I read another? Definitely. I always look out for books with well fleshed out characters, and each of the characters in this book evoked emotions in me.
What worked for me were the descriptions of life in a traditional Arya Samaj household, and of the life of the college women in pre-Partition Lahore. What did not work for me was the descriptions of Partition- it almost seemed like it had been force fitted onto the story, and while I commend the meticulous research that went into it, it was almost superficial.
This was my first book by Manju Kapur. Will I read another? Definitely. I always look out for books with well fleshed out characters, and each of the characters in this book evoked emotions in me.
May 21, 2014
Tradition, tradition, tradition... why is it in so many cultures women are suppressed because of tradition? I felt the frustration of being forced to watch siblings, to mother them when you never had the choice. Choice is something many people take for granted. Disobedient Daughters could very well be the title, and when our main character Virmati falls in love with a forbidden fruit (married man) you know it's going to go sour. For many readers with the freedom to stupidly love where we chose, and blaze a trail anywhere we please it's often hard to imagine the suppression of the self. I find with this novel, the treasure isn't so much in love as it is in the struggle to chose your own way. Tradition can be a beautiful thing, but it can also murder the soul. It's not just in Indian culture that women were kept from furthering their learning (I will note that today, often Indian families I have known in America push their daughters to be educated) if you look into history women were often seen as the weaker sex and 'not clever enough to learn'. It's hard to imagine it was 'shocking' when a woman wanted to further her education when compared today's standards. Then again, maybe not. Women still have trails to blaze... I could feel the fire in this novel, the fire for more. Virmati's mother's life is confining to her, a life where the purpose is to please one's spouse and family. Her mother knew that in the end, it was only necessary to marry and forget one's own desires. Virmati wanted escape and freedom and of course, her own daughter Ida doesn't wish to be like her mother either. Her mother who fell prey to a man who was a different sort of trap. Three generations of women trying to escape the destiny of each other. I enjoyed this novel, it was thought provoking and full of suffering. I think it will be something book clubs can really bite into.
January 8, 2016
"History scares me. i am glad I am not a historian."
Following the lines of history, Kapur attempts to trace personal histories along with the partition of India. What she seems to suggest is- Partition, which is considered one of the biggest genocides in human histories, could prove fruitful to the protagonist (a twisted idea, really) She does a half baked job of providing a glimpse of a nascent India and the obsession with Literature and psuedo intellectual ideas of Viru and the Professor.
Interestingly, the only character worthy of sympathy is the Professor's first wife Ganga, who is a victim of the professor's adultery and her situation may need her to become coquettish, but one realizes that it is her only way of saving an already doomed marriage with a heartless professor.
The only reason for three stars is the way Kapur describes the old Punjabi way of life (with opulence of words and a grandeur associated with past)
In the end, she tries to pull off a Train to Pakistan but fails miserably.
Overall readable only if one is accustomed (or wishes to get accustomed) to the lifestyle of erstwhile Punjab.
Following the lines of history, Kapur attempts to trace personal histories along with the partition of India. What she seems to suggest is- Partition, which is considered one of the biggest genocides in human histories, could prove fruitful to the protagonist (a twisted idea, really) She does a half baked job of providing a glimpse of a nascent India and the obsession with Literature and psuedo intellectual ideas of Viru and the Professor.
Interestingly, the only character worthy of sympathy is the Professor's first wife Ganga, who is a victim of the professor's adultery and her situation may need her to become coquettish, but one realizes that it is her only way of saving an already doomed marriage with a heartless professor.
The only reason for three stars is the way Kapur describes the old Punjabi way of life (with opulence of words and a grandeur associated with past)
In the end, she tries to pull off a Train to Pakistan but fails miserably.
Overall readable only if one is accustomed (or wishes to get accustomed) to the lifestyle of erstwhile Punjab.
July 6, 2023
2.5 stars.
I had picked up this book after reading good reviews and the premise seemed interesting as it is set at one of the most challenging times of Indian history. I am utterly disappointed by the writing and the protagonists. I kept on wishing that Virmati, the lead character, would do something which would finally set her as the remarkable women that I felt she would be when I was reading about her childhood. The professor is the worst male literal character I have read till date. Never have I wished for a fictional characters' death till I read this book and read about the professor.
The background and the time frame of this book was extremely promising but the writing which was highly inconsistent did not do an ounce of justice to it. I wanted to drop this multiple times but sunk cost fallacy made me complete this. Could have been a short story.
I had picked up this book after reading good reviews and the premise seemed interesting as it is set at one of the most challenging times of Indian history. I am utterly disappointed by the writing and the protagonists. I kept on wishing that Virmati, the lead character, would do something which would finally set her as the remarkable women that I felt she would be when I was reading about her childhood. The professor is the worst male literal character I have read till date. Never have I wished for a fictional characters' death till I read this book and read about the professor.
The background and the time frame of this book was extremely promising but the writing which was highly inconsistent did not do an ounce of justice to it. I wanted to drop this multiple times but sunk cost fallacy made me complete this. Could have been a short story.
February 10, 2009
a pretty in depth study of a woman fighting against her family, her lover, and her own nature in times where the latter is meant to be worth far less than the other two. a historic tragedy is examined, a middle aged woman attempts to come of age as she searches through the relics of her mother's mistakes and melancholy - all in all - it was a bit of at tough read, but it did throw me into punjab in the 1940s with some bit of veracity.
February 5, 2021
There is more to the story than what the synopsis suggests.
May 22, 2025
i was expecting this to be a Partition novel, and instead it was just a novel set during Partition.i want to say that virmati's really fucking stupid but i could feel for her even though her actions frustrated me. the lack of discussion around the political events that were taking place was effective in conveying virmati's preoccupation with her own life, but it falls flat for the same reason. specifically because ida was the one piecing her mother's history together, it could have been more personal and speculative. there was room for wondering how the external world would shape her mother's life. overall, i don't understand why ida was chosen to be the narrator of this story. i could not care less about prabhakar (i get it, the professor fucks over all the women he knows by inflicting himself upon them in some way!!). the mentions of her own life were so unnecessary and did not enrich virmati's characterisation in any way. everything is stated so factually that it just makes ida an unnecessary, redundant detail.
i liked the story this book was trying to tell on a small scale. it just wasn't able to connect to the larger picture in a way that was meaningful and relevant to the timeframe it chose. so many women in india still suffer the same, this could've been set in 2025 and unfortunately i wouldn't have found it strange
also, who's the man on the back of this book? i thought this was fiction?? did the 'unbearable male love interest who no woman would want to procreate with' on book covers start with manju kapur and not smutty romance books of the 21st century?? 😻
i liked the story this book was trying to tell on a small scale. it just wasn't able to connect to the larger picture in a way that was meaningful and relevant to the timeframe it chose. so many women in india still suffer the same, this could've been set in 2025 and unfortunately i wouldn't have found it strange
also, who's the man on the back of this book? i thought this was fiction?? did the 'unbearable male love interest who no woman would want to procreate with' on book covers start with manju kapur and not smutty romance books of the 21st century?? 😻
March 1, 2025
This book slapped me with reality multiple times. I mean how often have we as daughters felt that our mothers don’t understand us? This showed me that our experiences as daughters make us the mothers we become.
I want to convey how much I despised this Harish character. The professor in the book was a knucklehead and I wanted Virmati to dump his ass multiple times. This is classic grooming techniques right? He traumatised her so much that she could find no escape. He did no good to Ganga nor any to Virmati.
On the other end of the spectrum, we had Virmati’s grandfather and father who uplifted her right? Wanted her to do well for herself. But if you think again, what ddi they do to Kasturi? Poor woman was only prone to giving birth. She was educated too but what came of it?
I want to convey how much I despised this Harish character. The professor in the book was a knucklehead and I wanted Virmati to dump his ass multiple times. This is classic grooming techniques right? He traumatised her so much that she could find no escape. He did no good to Ganga nor any to Virmati.
On the other end of the spectrum, we had Virmati’s grandfather and father who uplifted her right? Wanted her to do well for herself. But if you think again, what ddi they do to Kasturi? Poor woman was only prone to giving birth. She was educated too but what came of it?
March 1, 2025
I gave this book 5 stars purely because of how well it captured such a complex and real personality. There were a lot of unanswered questions, but I really liked how it made me feel while reading.
The male lead was easily the worst I’ve ever read, and it’s crazy how accurately he was portrayed without exaggeration.
Books about the pain of being an Indian woman always leave a profound impact on me.
The male lead was easily the worst I’ve ever read, and it’s crazy how accurately he was portrayed without exaggeration.
Books about the pain of being an Indian woman always leave a profound impact on me.
December 10, 2024
Harish sucks! Men suck! Cornering someone you ‘love’ sucks! Everything could’ve been avoided if Harish used his brain (which he’s so proud of!)!
Would be 5 stars but info about the Partition is one sided)
Would be 5 stars but info about the Partition is one sided)
July 5, 2020
Even though the book is written around India’s independence movement and struggles for freedom, the author nicely weaves a love story full of determination, strong will and the nuances of a punjabi family and their eldest daughter who is the protagonist.
Makes a good read if you can dig deeper into the family otherwise one will lose interest.
Makes a good read if you can dig deeper into the family otherwise one will lose interest.
February 24, 2025
(3.3/5)
The writing style did not feel very smooth or flowing; at times, it was overly wordy or over-explained simple statements.
Virmati’s struggles as a woman seeking education, breaking family norms, and rebelling against societal expectations were well depicted.
However, the element of Partition did not serve its purpose effectively. If it had been more intricately woven into the story, its impact could have been much greater.
The writing style did not feel very smooth or flowing; at times, it was overly wordy or over-explained simple statements.
Virmati’s struggles as a woman seeking education, breaking family norms, and rebelling against societal expectations were well depicted.
However, the element of Partition did not serve its purpose effectively. If it had been more intricately woven into the story, its impact could have been much greater.
September 21, 2016
I wanted to like this novel, but what was thought to be a story of a woman's conflict between her desire to get educated and her desire to conform to expectations took shape, instead, into one where the woman uses her desire for personal independence to rebel against conformity in order to be the second wife of a married man - a man who made her wait years before officializing their relationship, who only did so after being prodded by a male poet friend, on the brink of Virmati's potential (actual) independence. Once married, he sends her off to get an MA - as if to intellectually upgrade his trophy wife. There is very little mention on her part on what her education has done for her. While she stood her grounds against her family for the sake of education, claiming she will never marry, it seemed as if her pursuit for study was only to feed her obsession for this man. The lack of any passion or rumination towards the subjects she studied was questionable.
I'm not sure what argument their story was trying to make regarding education for girls. While peripheral characters, like Virmati's roommate, posed as a symbol for the promise and resilience of educating girls, the main character herself falls short in saying/representing anything substantive about this. I don't know why we're made to follow her story, apart from it being representative of a deeply-rooted lack, it was mostly a repetitive cycle of despair, familial disappointments, and her perpetual dissatisfaction as student/lover/co-wife.
Her daughter, who opens the novel in a flash-forward scene, is the most intriguing character and we only hear from her rarely throughout the book. Those few pages held in them things about memories, lineage, and history that are worth cherishing. It's unfortunate we don't hear more from her.
I appreciate the realism of the characters - their naivety, desperation and extent of manipulation were true to what's known and familiar. This could potentially be a good primer into the backdrops of South Asian literature, to acclimatize to a bit of its history and the expectations weaved into its social constructs, how intensely duty and obligation have been drummed into generations, how much battle it takes to get even just a slight wiggle room within (or out of) them. For me, there wasn't much in this novel that delivered what its 'Difficult Daughters' title might promise.
I'm not sure what argument their story was trying to make regarding education for girls. While peripheral characters, like Virmati's roommate, posed as a symbol for the promise and resilience of educating girls, the main character herself falls short in saying/representing anything substantive about this. I don't know why we're made to follow her story, apart from it being representative of a deeply-rooted lack, it was mostly a repetitive cycle of despair, familial disappointments, and her perpetual dissatisfaction as student/lover/co-wife.
Her daughter, who opens the novel in a flash-forward scene, is the most intriguing character and we only hear from her rarely throughout the book. Those few pages held in them things about memories, lineage, and history that are worth cherishing. It's unfortunate we don't hear more from her.
I appreciate the realism of the characters - their naivety, desperation and extent of manipulation were true to what's known and familiar. This could potentially be a good primer into the backdrops of South Asian literature, to acclimatize to a bit of its history and the expectations weaved into its social constructs, how intensely duty and obligation have been drummed into generations, how much battle it takes to get even just a slight wiggle room within (or out of) them. For me, there wasn't much in this novel that delivered what its 'Difficult Daughters' title might promise.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 25, 2011
This book starts of as a story of a young girl in pre-partition India, in a large and chaotic extended family which has big hopes of an arranged marriage. however the times are changing, with women being given some opportunities for college education. The political changes also see new roles for women beyond the confines of thier family homes. However, traditions are strictly adhered to, and this causes much conflict.
Interstingly, what starts as a personal story is actually a narrator relating her mother's life with all the difficlut choices she made, and the relationship with other women in the family.
In the first part of the story one sees a young girl enamoured by an older more sophisticated man. Then the subject is emmersed in education and tries to find herself. Despite independence she does not reject the idea of marriage and motherhood, indeed is more determined to marry the man of her choosing. The other part paints the realities of her choice- to be the second wife. Her romantic notions pale when faced with poverty and hostilities surrounding her, but she learns to make her own demands. Interestingly, much later in life she has expectations of her daughter, that are not much different to the burden of expectation placed upon her as a child.
Interstingly, what starts as a personal story is actually a narrator relating her mother's life with all the difficlut choices she made, and the relationship with other women in the family.
In the first part of the story one sees a young girl enamoured by an older more sophisticated man. Then the subject is emmersed in education and tries to find herself. Despite independence she does not reject the idea of marriage and motherhood, indeed is more determined to marry the man of her choosing. The other part paints the realities of her choice- to be the second wife. Her romantic notions pale when faced with poverty and hostilities surrounding her, but she learns to make her own demands. Interestingly, much later in life she has expectations of her daughter, that are not much different to the burden of expectation placed upon her as a child.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 30, 2013
The story of this book describes the love story of a 24year old girl, Virmati and her struggle to own the man of her life.
Describing Virmati would be similar to describing any girl of the same age; young, enthusiastic, adventurous, vibrant and highly emotional.
This book provides a brief experience to understand the situation of our country, India during the time of war and how the war along with the social taboos of Indian culture effected the life of Virmati.
Virmari, a young girl who is on a quest, of one day own the man she is in love with inspite all social boundaries. And the way her fight for the man of her life change her as a person; how the change compels her to ignore everything else, the revolution, the bloodshed, even the loss of her loved ones.
The author has very well described all the phases of a women's life, how she (a women) can be hated, loved, admired, ignored, regretted, expected and is always over loaded with responsibilities. I really enjoyed reading these different phases.
Although, i would have really preferred to swap the names of Virmati and her mum; Virmati sounds too old for a 24 year old. I wonder the reason behind naming her Virmati and her mum Kaveri.
Rest, its a goodread.
Describing Virmati would be similar to describing any girl of the same age; young, enthusiastic, adventurous, vibrant and highly emotional.
This book provides a brief experience to understand the situation of our country, India during the time of war and how the war along with the social taboos of Indian culture effected the life of Virmati.
Virmari, a young girl who is on a quest, of one day own the man she is in love with inspite all social boundaries. And the way her fight for the man of her life change her as a person; how the change compels her to ignore everything else, the revolution, the bloodshed, even the loss of her loved ones.
The author has very well described all the phases of a women's life, how she (a women) can be hated, loved, admired, ignored, regretted, expected and is always over loaded with responsibilities. I really enjoyed reading these different phases.
Although, i would have really preferred to swap the names of Virmati and her mum; Virmati sounds too old for a 24 year old. I wonder the reason behind naming her Virmati and her mum Kaveri.
Rest, its a goodread.
August 16, 2013
Virmati falls for a married man, Harish, so with that and her desire for education things get tricky at home in a middle class family in Amitsar in the 1940s. It's a time when Gandhi is asking people to get involved in non-violent civil disobedience and women are getting involved (and being arrested) in many new ways, and also a time when traditional roles for women are still the norm. And there is also plenty mention of the Partition. However the novel was at its best when describing the love story and the implications of a second wife in the family than when dealing with the "historic stuff". It would've been interesting to know more about Virmati's father and grandfather as men sympathetic to women's education in her life, but they seemed a little left out.
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