Pride and Joy: The Lives and Passions of Women Without Children

by Terri Casey

Pride and The Lives and Passions of Women Without Children is a collection of interviews with 25 women who have chosen not to have children. In lively stories and vivid voices, these diverse narrators talk proudly of their contributions to their communities, causes, and families, and they speak joyfully of intimate relationships with husbands and partners, of family and friends, work, volunteer and leisure activities, solitude, and connections with children. Their stories dispel the social myth that women must have children to be happy, and they debunk the stereotypes of childless women.

For the 20 percent of U.S. women who are currently childless by choice or by chance, Pride and Joy offers validation and community. For the millions of women deciding whether to have children, it provides inspiration. For parents, siblings, and friends of women who have chosen or may choose not to have children, it offers insight.

Genres: Nonfiction, Feminism, Womens

224 pages, Paperback

First published April 13, 1998

About the author

Terri Casey is an award-winning writer and former newspaper reporter and editor. She has also worked as a marketing writer for Microsoft, with freelance articles published in metropolitan newspapers and regional magazines. She resides in Seattle.

Reviews

[NoMo Book Club · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a collection of interviews with 25 American women who chose not to have children. Published back in 1998, it's an interesting snapshot of the childfree conversation from earlier days that shows it's always been a choice, and a valid one, for some women. The interviewees range from their 20s to 80s, representing a mix of married, partnered, cohabiting, single, divorced and widowed women from various ethnicities and cultures, as well as backgrounds and professions. In this book, Terri Casey wanted to explore how childfree women were choosing to spend their lives, free to use the time and energy that women normally spend on children on their own pursuits. The diverse narrators talk proudly of their contributions to their communities, causes and families, and they speak joyfully of relationships with partners, family and friends, work, volunteer and leisure activities, solitude and connections with children. These stories dispel the myth that women must have children to be happy and also debunk the stereotypes of childfree women. But the book isn't just an affirming read for anyone who is childfree - childless women can also find comfort and encouragement in hearing that there are other paths to joy within our lives.

[Anni · Rating 2 out of 5]

I had to force myself to finish this book. Why? Because many of the profiles were similar -- even to the point of the interviewees having the same voice. It's difficult to effectively relay a speaker's voice when transcribing interviews and first-person narratives, but that's what I look for in a good profile piece. So, unless every one of the women interviewed for this book speaks in the same manner (with a formal and educated tone), I'd say the author has not done a good job of bringing her subjects to life. Furthermore, many of the profiles discuss how the women have found "other ways to nurture" and "other ways to teach." I get it, I get it. (Really, after reading the fifth profile, I got it!) Apparently you can "nurture" and "teach" without having your own children. Overall, I'd say this book was rather boring.

[Vanessa Finney]

"To know what you prefer instead of humbly saying Amen to what the world tells you you ought to prefer is to have kept your soul alive."
-Robert Louis Stevenson.

"Decide your way of loving, and you will be rewarded."
-Dr. Bernie Siegel

"Love is all around us!"
-a non-mother

"Wisdom comes from applying yourself wholeheartedly to whatever you're doing. The lessons of life are in everything."
-Pema Chodron

I cannot count the good people I know who to my mind would be even better if they bent their spirits to the study of their own hungers."
-M.F.K. Fisher

"What would it mean for society if women without children were as valued and celebrated as mothers are?"
-a non-mother

"The quiet re-energizes my spirit."

[Ellen · Rating 4 out of 5]

For obvious reasons, this book would not appeal to everyone. Indeed, most people. But I found these women's stories interesting and insightful.

[Keiki · Rating 3 out of 5]

Before I got married, I read several books on, about or by women who had chosen to not have children. This was one of many that was very helpful and inspiring.

[Jane]

More than halfway read, but it starts to get repetitious.