Eric Bristow: The Autobiography: The Crafty Cockney

by Eric Bristow

Eric Bristow is considered to be the greatest darts player of all time and one who pioneered the game’s move from the pub on to the TV screen. He was an unmistakable figure on the oche during his 1980s heyday, with his trademark blonde highlights and red Crafty Cockney t-shirt, and became renowned not just for the number of world titles he won but for his arrogance on stage and off it. His autobiography is a candid account of his rise to the top and reveals his humble beginnings in London’s East End, where gangs like the Richardsons ruled the streets through a mix of fear and torture. Eric would often walk home at night with a claw hammer stuffed down his pants for protection. Cat burglar, shoplifter, thug: Bristow was all of these during his early street-fighting years, but it was darts that proved to be his salvation, introducing him to a new world of beer, babes, and undreamed of success. He won his first world title in 1980 and dominated the scene for the next decade, winning four more. In his rapid rise to the top he gives fascinating insights into the characters that pioneered darts in those early days and helped establish it as a major TV spectacle. Players like Jocky Wilson, a hard-drinking Scot who now lives his life penniless and as a recluse; John Lowe, the stone-faced Englishman who was Bristow’s main rival; Cliff Lazarenko, who Bristow once tried to match drink for drink and ended up with alcohol poisoning; and Keith Deller, the young upstart who caused the biggest upset in darts when, unseeded, he beat Bristow in the 1983 Embassy World Final. When Bristow’s career finally began to slide at the end of the decade he trained his protégé Phil "The Power" Taylor, turning him into the most successful player darts has ever known. Bristow holds nothing back as he reveals his battle with dartitis, a psychological condition which left him unable to let go of the dart and almost destroyed his career; his relationship with girlfriend and former women’s world darts champion Maureen Flowers; and his occasional all-to-public falls from grace.

Genres: Sports

352 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Sophie Crane · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this very open and frank autobiography which tells the life of the best darts player I ever saw. I first fell in love with Brissie when i saw him make his televised debut, i was 13 he looked about 19 or 20. I was hooked and followed him avidly whenever i could from that moment on. Having spent a lot of time with professional musicians there are real parallels in this book which i totally identify with. There is the same obsession to live and breathe what they do 24/7 as Eric always had with darts. I can also see why Brissie had the same relationship issues that so many pro musicians also suffer. Seems to me you need to be the same mindset to make it really work. When the other half is not, these women always then seem to be really needy and whiney and demanding instead of getting on with something that gives them an interest to focus on and provides them independence as well. Such females would annoy the hell out of me also and I would never last with such mentality and selfishness either, male or female, I would get the hell out. Relationships aside Eric's autobiography is exactly as I expected having met him at Jolees in Stoke when I was 18 and he is in the book exactly like the man I met, adored and followed. He is arrogant, cocky, full of himself, no Angel as a teen or a pro and he has a real sense of humour, but a background of Stoke Newington that means he can hold his own as well and don't push this guy too far. This is a very entertaining read and very amusing at times. His best scores were not all on a dart board either. Like many bands and probably all professionals where groupies are concerned if it's there and it's offered on a plate you don't say no. Eric lived life in the fast lane. Eric also made Darts the sport it now is. Eric Bristow WAS Darts. He made legions of fans and a few plus enemies which was because he was the best, knew it and wasn't ashamed to admit it. Very American thinking, no wonder they loved him there. I would really recommend this. Eric was a petty thief as a young teen and Darts was his salvation. I've also known musicians from similar situations so i feel a real empathy for how it could have been were he not the brash but brilliant player and pro himself. His early death is a really sad day for darts and for all of us who loved him. Buy this book and see for yourself we have lost one hell of a sporting great. RIP Eric, I will truly miss you.

[Samuel Tyler · Rating 4 out of 5]

The best autobiographies are not always by people that you admire. Celebs often seek to protect their reputation and keep the reader at arm’s length. Often the best biogs are actually written by those celebrities who have courted controversy throughout their careers and are not always the most liked. Eric Bristow certainly falls into this camp; undoubtedly one of the most famous and acclaimed dart players of all time, but he does not always come across well. He was known as ‘The London Lip’ for a reason and recent antics have seen him get into hot water when posting his views on the football grooming scandal. ‘The Crafty Cockney’ predates this latest faux pas, but still has plenty in it that skates thin ice. But, is that not why the book is fun?

Bristow grew up in a poor area of London, when it was still poor. Many of his childhood friends are in jail or dead, but through his skill with the arrows, he found a way out. Although you can take the man out of Hackney, Hackney never really left this man. Bristow took his upbringing onto the oche with him and that it what his made him a champion, often intimidating his opponent before a dart was even thrown. In ‘Crafty’ Bristow gives a warts and all look at his life from the days on the rob to being on the circuit with a group of men you would find hard to call athletes.

I like my autobiographies to have a genuine voice of the person and that is the most distinctive things about ‘Crafty’. Bristow is not ashamed at all of the man he is and is rightly proud of what he has achieved. Like his manner in real life, this book can be a little abrasive at times. In most cases this works brilliantly; his tales about a naughty youth makes the early chapters highly entertaining. The book is also great when he discusses his peak as a player. There are some great stories about the darts scene at the time; loads of practical jokes. Bristow is also happy to tell the reader about people he dislikes and why. This is always fun, if a little full on.

However, like in life, sometimes one of Bristow’s rants hits a bum note. It depends on your own stance whether you will be bothered by what he has to say, but his views on mental illness and passive smoking feel archaic at best, dangerous at worst. He seems to lack empathy towards other people and this may make for a good read, but it can also be uncomfortable. The suicide of a former friend’s wife is handled particularly insensitively.

A good autobiography will transport you to a life far removed from your own; this is often Hollywood glamour or sporting heights. ‘Crafty’ transported me somewhere entirely different than other biogs I have read, but still far removed from my norm; a world of smoky bars, functioning alcoholism and bawdy humour. What you have here is a glimpse into a completely different lifestyle that not everyone will agree with, but at least Bristow has attacked it with gusto and gives the reader the unvarnished truth.

[Richard Tubb · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whether you love him or hate him, Eric Bristow was the biggest name in Darts in the 1980s and instrumental in taking the game from the smoke filled pubs to the strobe filled televised arenas of today.

Bristow’s biography is much the same as I’d imagine the man himself was. Entertaining, opinionated, with a huge slice of arrogance.

The book charts Bristow’s early years mixed up in gangs and petty crime, through to his Darts success, and his mentoring of Phil Taylor.

Every chapter is a great read, but I did find myself shaking my head at some of the things Bristow writes, and his attitude towards others. I’d guess it was all part of who the man was, for better or worse.

The chapters on the PDC split from the BDO is fascinating, and if you’re a Darts fan, you’ll love the backstage insights and the stories of Darts legends like Jockey Wilson and Leighton Rees.

A fascinating and entertaining read - just be prepared to raise your eyebrows at some of the things Bristow has done and said!

[Jason Cotton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well this is certainly an interesting read if you grew up watching darts in the eighties. Eric Bristow was by far the best darts player on the BDO circuit and his world titles alone speak volumes. This book examines both sides of him, the ruthless darts player and the subtler and calmer family man. He lifts the lid on some of the other players quirks and habits and a lot of the time this book got me smiling. There are also sad moments where he reflects on the mistakes he made in his life and his family losses. From growing up in London to living in Stoke this book is a wonderful insight into Eric Bristow and the legend that was, is and always will be The Crafty Cockney. :)

[Nathan]

I liked this book, not that bothered with all his romantic exploits shall we say but it was insightful and I liked the early years.

[Mike · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'd recommend it to any darts fans.