Understanding Your Suicide Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart

by Alan D. Wolfelt

For anyone who has experienced the suicide of a loved one, coworker, neighbor, or acquaintance and is seeking information about coping with such a profound loss, this compassionate guide explores the unique responses inherent to their grief. Using the metaphor of the wilderness, the book introduces 10 touchstones to assist the survivor in this naturally complicated and particularly painful journey. The touchstones include opening to the presence of loss, embracing the uniqueness of grief, understanding the six needs of mourning, reaching out for help, and seeking reconciliation over resolution. Learning to identify and rely on each of these touchstones will bring about hope and healing.

Genres: Grief, Nonfiction, Death, Self Help

240 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 2009

Reviews

[Kelli · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is informational and gives you advice without passing judgement. The author accurately describes the feelings I have had. It is a great book for anyone dealing with the loss of a loved one to suicide.

[Kris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the second book I’ve read by Alan Wolfelt and I must say, they have been the absolute best. This book really has helped me through my grief. It’s given me insight, hope, and peace. I will search for more books by Alan Wolfelt because I love the way he writes and how honest he is. I feel like he’s a friend who is helping me through my wilderness of grief. Thank you, Alan, for another great read!

[Cat Doench · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book I’ve read yet from this author. It was longer than the others and more in depth. Yes, it covered the same 10 touchstones, but it really did go into much more detail and I feel this book will be so helpful to those suffering the loss of a loved one to suicide. This book was a source of hope and so far is the best book I’ve read on the topic of suicide.

[Desi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not only was this helpful in evaluating where I was after losing my younger brother but it offered insight into my suicidal depression and borderline. I realized a lot of the pain of depression is in fact grief. Grieving the what ifs.

[savannah kallom · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book had to be one of the most unhelpful books that I have read in a long time. Don't waste your time

[JP · Rating 5 out of 5]

Not recommended for anyone but people experiencing suicide grief. Helped me normalize some of the confusing and contradictory thoughts one experiences when resolving this sort of trauma, allowing for a significant reduction in shame. Spurred progress in areas I may not have been aware of, but needed desperately.

[Kelley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some parts are really helpful and others are very contradictory. Idk if any book would fully “help” but the last couple chapters stunk.

[Pamela Jurney]

This was our guide book for our fall 2024 SOS sessions. The touchstones provided a sense of normalcy for those of us suffering from the worst of grief.

[Kerri]

DNF.

[Tom · Rating 5 out of 5]

Each word that Dr. Wolfelt writes and speaks contains a carefully considered message. I found this book very valuable in taking a positive step toward understanding my suicide grief.

[Dawn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Grief counselor Alan Wolfelt does not offer the only journal on suicide grief, but his is unique in that it is in conjunction with a book to also help survivors with their grief journey. In contrast to other suicide grief books, Wolfelt does not explore his relation to suicide. He focuses the attention on the reader and his or her story, asking them to reflect on their experiences in thought and writing. He offers advice, empathy, and compassion. He asks the reader to write their difficult experiences, but also how they relate to the person who passed away as well as their own life experiences that may add to their suicide trauma. Highly recommended for suicide loss survivors.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author was recommended by a grief counselor through a friend of mine. It was helpful, although some parts were repetitive. Still, I was trying to read through it in a fairly short time since I borrowed from another library through ILL and I did not want to buy. There is a workbook that goes with it, but for me that would not be so helpful. And it did provide some very good insights I noted for later referral.

[Linda Halverson · Rating 3 out of 5]

Helpful ... The author has a way of repeatedly persuading the reader to be kind and patient with themselves, their loved ones and fellow survivors, and with well meaning friends -- all good things to read and consider at a most vulnerable time of life for people working throughout the complex grief that results when someone you love chooses to take their own life.

[Mary · Rating 3 out of 5]

Just when I thought I was going completely crazy, I found myself being "normal" in this book (under the circumstances). The first half kept me turning pages. The second half was repetitive. Might suggest doing the workbook along with this book for greater impact.