I'll Mature When I'm Dead: Dave Barry's Amazing Tales of Adulthood

by Dave Barry

A brilliantly funny exploration of the treacherous state of adulthood by the Pulitzer Prize-winning humorist.

Some people may wonder what this subject has to do with Dave Barry, since Dave's struggled hard against growing up his entire life-but the result is one of the funniest, warmest, most pitch-perfect books ever on that mystifying territory we call "adulthood".

In hilarious, brand-new pieces, Dave tackles everything from fatherhood, new fatherhood ("Over the next five years, you will spend roughly 45 minutes, total, listening to songs you like, and roughly 127,000 hours to songs exploring topics such as how the horn on the bus goes* [*It 'Beep! Beep! Beep!']"), self-image, the battle of the sexes, celebrityhood, technology, parenting styles, certain unmentionable medical procedures ("There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM."), and much more. It is a book of pure delight from the man one newspaper claimed "could become the most important American humorist since Mark Twain" (South Florida Sun-Sentinel )...though, frankly, we think they were indulging in some adult beverages at the time. Watch a Video

Genres: Humor, Nonfiction, Audiobook, Essays, Comedy, Memoir, Adult

254 pages, Hardcover

First published May 4, 2010

About the author

Dave Barry is a humor writer. For 25 years he was a syndicated columnist whose work appeared in more than 500 newspapers in the United States and abroad. In 1988 he won the Pulitzer Prize for Commentary. Many people are still trying to figure out how this happened.
Dave has also written many books, virtually none of which contain useful information. Two of his books were used as the basis for the CBS TV sitcom "Dave's World," in which Harry Anderson played a much taller version of Dave.
Dave plays lead guitar in a literary rock band called the Rock Bottom Remainders, whose other members include Stephen King, Amy Tan, Ridley Pearson and Mitch Albom. They are not musically skilled, but they are extremely loud. Dave has also made many TV appearances, including one on the David Letterman show where he proved that it is possible to set fire to a pair of men's underpants with a Barbie doll.
In his spare time, Dave is a candidate for president of the United States. If elected, his highest priority will be to seek the death penalty for whoever is responsible for making Americans install low-flow toilets.
Dave lives in Miami, Florida, with his wife, Michelle, a sportswriter. He has a son, Rob, and a daughter, Sophie, neither of whom thinks he's funny.

Reviews

[Barbara · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is an American writer and journalist who wrote a nationally syndicated humor column for the Miami Herald from 1983 to 2005 and has written numerous books of humor and satire. Barry's levity can be a bit silly and - in his own words - he's not known for being the voice of maturity, but this is a funny book.


Dave Barry

Many of Barry's anecdotes riff on his life, and the book's opening provides a taste of what's to come. In the Introduction, Barry writes (in part):

"In the past few years I watched my son get married; watched my daughter play many soccer matches and perform in ballet recitals longer than the Spanish-American War; got a dog named Lucy; rode in a fire truck with Clarabelle the famous Walt Disney Cow; had some medical adventures involving direct medical assaults on some of my most personal regions; took up spinning; and spent the equivalent of the gross national product of Uruguay on veterinarian fees in an effort to repair a persistent injury to Lucy's tail caused by the fact that she wags too hard.

I hope you enjoy this book, and if you come away from reading it with just one message, let it be this: If a veterinarian suggests you can somehow keep your dog from wagging it's tail, that veterinarian is smoking crack."



*****

Some examples of Barry's humor follow.

- "Every single human cell contains DNA, which is a special molecule that your body leaves behind at crime scenes so the police can identify you. Your DNA wants to put its imprint on the entire human race, like the Nike Corporation - so the only thing your DNA thinks about is reproducing itself. This explains why men are shallow sex-obsessed horndogs." 😏

- "WHY DON’T MEN LISTEN TO WOMEN? They do listen. But they listen for specific information. Men are problem-solvers. They are doers. When you talk to them, they are listening to determine (a) what the problem is, and what they need to do about it, so that they can resume watching ESPN. When they have the information they need, they stop listening."

- "When a man purchases a necessary appliance such as a TV with a flat screen the size of a squash court, he cannot afford to fritter away valuable minutes reading the owner's manual. A man does not need instructions written by and for idiots. A man already knows that the way to handle an appliance is to plug all the plugs into the holes that look to be about the right size or color, then turn everything on and see what happens." (Dave's hi-def flat screen wasn't 'hi-def' for a year, until his wife set it up correctly.😃)



- “In the old pre-technology days, it would have been almost impossible to replicate Facebook or Twitter. The closest you could get would be to mail dozens of postcards a day to everybody you know, each with a brief message about yourself like: "Finally got that haircut I've been putting off." Or: "Just had a caramel Frappuccino. Yum!" The people receiving these postcards would have naturally assumed you were a moron with a narcissism disorder. But today, thanks to Facebook and Twitter, you are seen as a person engaging in 'social networking'.”

- "Here’s a simple and fun experiment: Select, at random, a man who has one or more daughters. Place a gun to this man’s head and tell him he must do one of two things: 1. Have his prostate examined by a scorpion. 2. Attend a dance recital. He’s going scorpion. Yes, he knows it will be unpleasant. But he also knows that eventually it will end. This is not necessarily true of the dance recital."



- Dave makes a lot of jokes about his home city of Miami, Florida. Here are a few:
“Some years ago I proposed a new tourism-promotion slogan for Miami. I even had a bumper sticker made. It said: 'Come back to Miami! We Weren't Shooting at YOU'.”

“The truth is that only a small percentage of Miami's population consists of violent criminals, and the bulk of those are elected officials. The rest of us Miamians are regular people, just like the people in your town: We work hard, try to raise our kids right, and are always ready to help out our neighbors by laying down covering fire when they go outside to get their newspapers.”

“[In Miami] we have a growing population of unwelcome out-of-town wildlife species that have come here and clearly intend to stay. Two invasive species in particular have caused serious concern: Burmese pythons, and New Yorkers. The New Yorkers have been coming here for years, which is weird because pretty much all they do once they get to Florida is bitch about how everything here sucks compared to the earthly paradise that is New York. They continue to root, loudly, for the Jets, the Knicks, the Mets, and the Yankees; they never stop declaring, loudly, that in New York the restaurants are better, the stores are nicer, the people are smarter, the public transportation is free of sharks, etc. The Burmese pythons are less obnoxious, but just as alarming in their own way.”

And here's a true story about Miami: "A German tourist detected a bad smell in his hotel room, and reported it to hotel staff, who found a human corpse under the bed. Germans are finicky about cleanliness, and draw the line at decayed corpses."💀

- After Barry got a vasectomy, he needed to buy a jock strap (to control dangling) and a package of frozen peas (to control swelling). Shopping for peas was tricky because the supermarket had a large collection and Barry went with 'Bird's Eye Spring Garden Peas'. Barry notes: "There is absolutely no reason to be afraid of a vasectomy, except that: THEY CUT A HOLE IN YOUR SCROTUM." Vasectomy can be done with a local anesthetic but Dave admits: I’m a big believer in anesthesia. I think it should be used for every medical procedure, including routine physicals. I’d like to be knocked out while I was still in the doctor’s waiting room and not regain consciousness until everything is over, ideally in my car, with no memory whatsoever of what happened. But the point is that you definitely want anesthesia for your vasectomy. Tell your doctor you want the Full Coward Package. Tell him you don’t necessarily want to wake up during the same month as your procedure."

- In a shot at the American healthcare system, Barry tells a story about Mary. This is a VERY abbreviated version of the tale:
Mary sees a television commercial for Endor, which suggests you ask your doctor about the medication. Mary wants to ask her physician about Endor, but can't get an appointment for three months. When Mary finally sees her doctor, he can only spare her 9.6 seconds because he has to see over 300 patients that hour. So - as her physician is leaving the examination room - Mary calls out, "Do I need Endor?" The doctor thinks she said, "I wonder if my feet are tender." So the physician - wary of a malpractice lawsuit - orders X-rays and a complete medical work-up - which leads to more and more tests and procedures. Mary eventually ends up broke, unemployed, and uninsured with unpaid medical bills in excess of $500,000.



Barry writes: “The point is, our health-care system is a terrible mess. It's expensive, wasteful, inefficient, unresponsive, and infested with lawyers. Which is why there has been a big push, in some quarters, to place it under the management of the federal government. This is like saying that if your local police department has a corruption problem, the solution is to turn law enforcement over to the Sopranos.”

- Two of the most hilarious sections of the book are extended parodies of popular media.

The first sendup is a satirical script for the television show "24", which aired (in various forms) from 2001 to 2014. "24 stars Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer, the angst-ridden lone-wolf federal agent who protects America from terrorism by sooner or later causing the violent death of pretty much everybody he meets." As Barry's script opens, the President of the U.S. is a kangaroo, the terrorists have stolen a proton defrackulator, and Jack Bauer has been decapitated and fed to boars. Luckily, doctors are able to sew Jack back together, and he goes on to cause havoc and save the country. Very entertaining!



The second spoof is "Fangs of Endearment: A Vampire Novel - which is a take-off on the Twilight series. The main character is a clutzy girl who goes to Creepstone High School with her boyfriend Phil - an EXCEPTIONALLY HANDSOME vampire.....so good-looking that she can't stop commenting on it. All the boys in the story are in love with the main character including Stuart - a werewolf; Sven - who can transform into a Zamboni machine; the Jonas brothers; and Zac Ephron. The vampires and werewolves hate each other, but work together to save the girl from a vengeful female vampire.....and so on. Very funny!



These examples are just a taste of the humorous reminiscences and observations in the book. Highly recommended to readers who want a laugh.

You can follow my reviews at https://reviewsbybarbsaffer.blogspot....

[Debbie W. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry has done it again! His writing never fails to make me laugh (or at least snicker) on practically every page, even without using profane language! I don't have a favourite essay - they're all hilarious! His humour/wit would appeal to any (adult) age. If you need a break from some "serious" reading, or you just enjoy a good guffaw, then this book is for you!

[Jason Koivu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is quite funny. I laughed, even aloud, a good many times. Sure, he sometimes sets up his jokes viewable from a mile away, but he's been a humor columnist for a good long while and he's developed a knack for it. He knows how to mine a topic for whatever nuggets of gold it may yield.

In I'll Mature When I'm Dead those topics include celebrities, parenthood, crack, Scarlet Johansson, marriage, writing screenplays, Miami, NY versus Miami, Scarlet Johansson and crack. As you can see, he does tend to go back to the well on occasion. One too many times a joke was punctuated by crack and his babe du jour was...any guesses?

Now, nick-picky complaints aside, I really did enjoy this book. The guy can be funny, especially when he's shooting the shit about everyday life, and he can satirize with the best of them. He sticks the Twilight books with a sharp barb in an extended spoof. His take on tv hit "24" is not quite as successful. You can tell he likes the show too much to do it any real harm.

[ꕥ Ange_Lives_To_Read ꕥ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry basically formed my sense of humor, I've been a fan of his almost as long as I could read. I just crack open anything written by him and proceed to laugh like an idiot, and this was no exception.

The fact that I met him and got my picture taken with him the day I bought this book makes it extra special to me. 😁

[Steven Harbin · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's been a while since I've read Dave Barry, and I'd forgotten how funny he can be when he's on target. His brand of humor may not be for everybody, but I like it. He skewers the current romanitic Vampire novel craze, the TV show "24", the psychological differences between men and women, fatherhood, and dog ownership, just to touch on a few of the high points. He gets serious when writing about colonoscopies and the wedding of his son (well, mostly serious). I'd recommend to anyone looking for a light humorous read.

[RJ - Slayer of Trolls · Rating 4 out of 5]

Funny stuff! Read this book only if you want to laugh out loud, preferably not while drinking coffee and sitting in front of your computer.

[Deborah Markus · Rating 5 out of 5]

There. I added the much-needed "rereading" shelf to my options. If I were a true nerd, I'd have "re-rereading" and "re-re-rereading" shelves; but I've never been one of those people who knows exactly how many times I've read a book. When it comes to keeping track of that kind of thing, I'm like one of those cultures who only have the numerical concepts of "one," "two," and "many." I know if I've only read a book once, and I generally remember if I've read it twice. After that, it falls into the "many" memory bin.

This is a "many" book for me. I love Dave Barry, and my son's reading him a lot now. So I'm rereading this collection in a haphazard fashion -- five minutes here and there. Five minutes can get you pretty far in a Dave Barry book.

What sets this collection apart is that Barry wrote it after he retired from writing his regular newspaper column, so the essays are very long. He can relax and enjoy himself without having to worry about word-count.

I like the fact that Barry is obviously a dog person (he's been writing about his dogs for decades now), yet has no illusions about dogs:

A dog is a companion that, if you feed it and pet it and pretend that you sincerely want to take away its ball, will give you, in return, totally unqualified love. You could be Charles Manson, or Hitler, or even a lawyer who advertises on television, and your dog will still think you're the greatest thing ever. This tells you something very important about dogs: They are not very bright.

On the other hand, this collection is to blame for the fact that I've read two of the Twilight books. Barry wrote a parody so hilariously awful that I had to see just how bad they were. Bad enough that I couldn't make it through the third one, is the answer. But I'll never have that time back again.

UPDATE, 10/16/14: Just reread this via Audible recording. Dave Barry reads his own work, and he's very good at it.

[Namera [The Literary Invertebrate] · Rating 4 out of 5]

A pretty good collection of humorous essays, with some incisive commentary (despite himself).

[Blog] - [Bookstagram]

[Book2Dragon · Rating 5 out of 5]

When you need a good laugh, you can always be comfortable turning to Dave Barry. How many humorists have won a Pullitzer Prize for commentary? I can't wait to see what he does with the current health crisis (this was written in 2010).
My favorite chapter was "A Letter to a First-Time-Father-To-Be". The short short novel on vampires (Fangs of Endearment) is also good, as is every chapter in his book. Love the footnotes; just in case you haven't fallen off your chair reading that paragraph.
I imagine the audio to be even more hilarious, but this was Print. And do you really want to be in the company of other people with earbuds in and then whatever you are drinking comes through your nose?
Anyway, fun book.

[Phrodrick slowed his growing backlog · Rating 3 out of 5]

Three stars because I cannot hate Dave Barry. I came to his I’ll Mature when I am Dead with the happy anticipation of a long-time fan. Lo those many years ago, I had read several of his books and enjoyed his otherwise short run TV show. Ok not his exactly but drawn from his writing. A fan because I can only remember the smiles, laughter and fun I always found in his writing. Family friendly, sharp witted and plenty self-depreciating. The old formula is here, but too often too old. If this is your first Dave Barry book it may be a fresh fun experience for you, for me, too much of it was tired and grumpy.

I have to agree with the more general opinion that his satire of the “Twilight” series was exactly what that drivel deserved. Except that I never read or saw much of it and I doubt if many of the fans of that long gone out brief candle even remembers what their excitement was about. The one never before published selection about colonoscopies reads like an honest effort to cajole men into this procedure. I have had four or five and hasten to add that nowadays that the do it yourself part of getting ready is pretty much as is described by Mr. Barry. In his favor, his version had me laughing, out loud. My last three were a nothing to it in terms of pain or problems. My advice: Colonoscopy - Just do it.

There is some fun to be had in I’ll Mature When I’m Dead. Perhaps more if you are new, or newer to the usually light weight comedy of Dave Barry. Either I am over him or he peaked before this collection.

[Joanne · Rating 5 out of 5]

I miss Dave Barry's regular columns. Here he is in extended chapter version, which is even more fun, though is a little more PG-13 than the newspaper column. I didn't enjoy his opening gender chapters as much, but some of the others -- on colonoscopy, on kids' soccer, on the newspaper industry a brilliant parody of the Twilight series -- had me laughing out loud. Good, good, good for the soul.

And my very favorite quote is from his technology chapter, where he vamps on social networking:
"In the old pre-technology days, it would have been almost impossible to replicate Facebook or Twitter. The closest you could get would be to mail dozens of postcards a day to everybody you knew, each with a brief message about yourself like: "Finally got that haircut I've been putting off." Or: "Just had a caramel frappuccino. Yum!" ...And he notes that people would have thought you were a lunatic with severe narcissism.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry's I'll Mature When I'm Dead is a laugh-out-loud look at adulthood that is sure to entertain young and old alike. Barry's funniest moments seem to center on the differences between men and women, passages that literally had me in stitches. Another particularly funny essay laments his tendency to be mistaken for Carl Hiaasen. This collection contains all-new content except for one oldie-but-goodie piece on a colonoscopy. Barry makes nods to popular culture with a take on 24 that I found hugely entertaining and a Twilight parody saved by the inclusion of some supernatural zambonis. All in all, I'll Mature When I'm Dead was quite possibly the funniest thing I've read for some time and I'd recommend it to anyone! Loved it!

[Joel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I can't lie. Dave Barry is pretty much the reason I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid.

This book was a lot of fun -- the first of his books I've read in years. He is retreading some of the same ground he did in his classic books from the late 80's/early 90's (and it's not as good the second or third time around), but he's still funny and he still writes great sentences. The Twilight satire had me in stitches, and I haven't even read any of Twilight.

[Jane Stewart · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 ½ stars. Fun. This guy is really good. I laughed a lot.

Humorous essays on a variety of topics. Most of them were funny. But a few less so. The weakest ones for me were the one about writing a screenplay and Dave’s retelling of “Twilight” the famous teenage vampire story. It was funny at first, but he could have stopped after the first third or so. It became repetitive.

The author did a great job of narrating the audiobook. Good timing with pauses. I didn’t have to keep stopping the tape the way I did with Woody Allen.

DATA:
Unabridged audiobook length: 4 hrs and 16 mins. Swearing language: religious swear words used once or twice. Sexual content: none, other than jokes about one’s private parts. Book copyright: 2010. Genre: humorous essays.

[MisterFweem · Rating 2 out of 5]

I know accusing Dave Barry of being shallow is like accusing the sun of causing sunburn, but, you know, this book really shows off his shallowness. Maybe I've outgrown him, if that's not too pretentious to say. Which, of course, it is. Who am I to mock the man who has a sewage lift station in North Dakota named after him? But his description of men versus women, shallow. Cliched. The Twilight spoof? As unreadable as the thing he's spoofing. And I'm glad he's into 24 as much as he is. But I haven't seen an episode. The spoof was lost on me. He's writing for himself now, not for the fans. Maybe that's what bugged me the most.

[Linda · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry always makes me laugh and this one was no exception. At times I'd have to stop and read a section out loud to whoever happened to be nearby. It's possible they didn't enjoy these little interludes as much as I did but that's ok because I did it for me at least as much as I did it for them.

The only downsides were his parodies of 24 and modern vampire fiction. Since I don't watch or read either of those these I didn't enjoy the humor in them as much. Where Barry shines is in his humorous portrayal of the world around him and those were laugh out loud funny. That's not necessarily a good thing when you are reading in bed and your partner is trying to sleep....

[Kasia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t remember ever laughing harder while reading a book. A one point my husband called kids downstairs so they could personally witness the moment “when their mother finally lost it”.
Guess I will be writing my future reviews from inpatient mental facility. Feel free to visit anytime.

[Stephen Altrogge · Rating 5 out of 5]

My favorite humorist by a long shot.

[Linda Hart · Rating 5 out of 5]

I giggled and laughed out loud throughout this delightfully funny audiobook. we all need a Dave Berry in our lives. Highly recommend!

[Glen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Right after Dave Barry retired, he wrote this book which expands his newspaper columns into chapters. Sometimes, they're quite funny.

Dated, but not bad.

[Sher · Rating 5 out of 5]

I did a lot of driving over the last three days, and wanted something light to listen to. So I selected this book by Dave Barry. It was a great choice. I laughed out loud so many times I can't count them. I had to drive through a particularly bad stretch of road during a snow storm which just happens to be a place where I was once in a bad wreck (in a snow storm). Yeh, I slowed down, and my knuckles were white, but I kept on laughing at Dave. I made it through the scary part of the Interstate and on to my destination, laughing all the way.

This book brought back memories of my husband reading Dave's column to me on Sunday mornings (it became something of a ritual) and both of us laughing so hard we couldn't even stand up straight or catch our breath, with tears running down our faces. (One of my personal favorites is the one about the Canadian toilets). If you need a little break from life, or if you just need to read about someone poking fun at his own life so you can get through yours, this is the guy you want to read. Oh, it might help if you are a boomer. It might not be as funny if you aren't.

[Noreen Braman · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love listening to Dave Barry read his own work, it makes me feel like I am swapping stories with an old friend. And, typical of those "old friend" conversations, topics will sometimes cover familiar ground. But also true of those "old friend" conversations, I laugh at the same stories and revel in the new ones.

Barry hits some high points here, with his vampire love story parody and his too-near-the-truth tale of the state of American health care. He includes here his previously-published colonoscopy story, which I fully intend to share with some of the colonoscopy-phobics in my life.

Barry also gives us his take on religious institutions, which gave me my favorite line of the book. While comparing his experiences with both Christian and Jewish ceremonies, he declares that perhaps his true religion is Joketarian, described this way:

"We Joketarians believe it's possible that an all-powerful, all-knowing God created the earth and its creature, But if he did, He was obviously kidding."

I couldn't agree more.

Disclaimer: The fact that Dave Barry wrote "to my idol" to me on the inside cover of "Boogers Are My Beat" in no way influenced this review. :)

[April · Rating 3 out of 5]

One of the back cover blurbs on my ARC of I'll Mature When I'm Dead by Dave Barry states that Dave Barry is "The funniest man in America." Now, I am not quite sure I agree with that, although Barry is quite hilarious. I'm not quite sure how to describe I'll Mature When I'm Dead, as there is no overarching plot and I don't think each piece is considered a short story. I guess one could call this book episodic. There were pieces which had me running to show everyone around me, and pieces which I think have already been overdone by comedians.
Read the rest of my review here

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dave Barry returns with a new collection of humor essays. Written since his retirement from the humor column business, Barry is allowed to write on a subject for as long as he'd like. And, for the most part, it works. Some of the essays overstay their welcome like most SNL skits, these days, but when Barry is on a roll, he's still one of the funniest guys alive.

His parodies of "24" and "Twilight" are perfect, though it's a bit sad to think we'll not see more of Jack Bauer.

The best essay is one that was previously published about Dave getting his prostate examined. At times hysterical, at times touching and at times thought-provoking, the essay is Barry at his best and makes the collection worth your time.

[Ben Iverson · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Dave Barry. All in all, he's probably the funniest humor writer that I've read, which isn't saying much because anytime I'm in the mood to read humor I pretty much always read Dave Barry. At any rate, I thought this was an absolutely hilarious book. My absolute favorite part was his spoof of Twilight, which was spot on perfect. The only downside of this book was that I was listening to it on the bus, and it was awkward having everyone watch me while I laughed out loud every minute or two. I got over that pretty quickly and just enjoyed the book.

[Jeanette (Ms. Feisty) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dave Barry is a self-proclaimed dork, but he's OUR dork, and we love him. I got plenty of smirks, chuckles, and guffaws from this book, along with some more serious, reflective moments. Eighteen pieces on everything from dance recitals to colonoscopies. I enjoyed every one except "24: The Ultimate Script," which is not even remotely entertaining.

[Kricket · Rating 3 out of 5]

a mixed bag. while some of barry's essays did make me laugh, several of the jokes on this one just seemed...tired. differences between men and women, first time parenthood, expensive weddings, dog ownership...i feel like i've heard variations on his observations several times before. i skipped "24: the ultimate script" because i've never seen 24 and i got bored. on the other hand: "solving the celebrity problem" (export the kardashians!), "fangs of endearment" (hilarious twilight mockery), and even "colonoscopy" had me screeching in my car.

"dave barry does japan" probably worked better for me because it had a bit of a theme going on (ie japan) that helped me follow things.

on an unrelated note, i was looking at the reviews of this book on amazon and someone called barbara wrote, "I was so hysterical that my parrot bit me." i love this.

[Kathy Hiester · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dave Barry materializes like a ghost out of retirement with a new anthology of works about such diverse topics as parenthood, and colonoscopies, with parodies of 24 and Twilight (one of my favorites) thrown in for good measure.
Even though I love Dave Barry, and he's hilarious to the highest degree there were times during the book that he's too clichéd for me. This book is a ideal balance of what Barry does best. Barry is retired from newspaper column writing, so he has freedom to make these essays without editorial constraints. He's older, wiser, and in a introspective mood but he’s also amusing, silly and downright juvenile at times. But then he balances the goofiness with an essay about his brother's cancer and the need to get a colonoscopy. Or he gets emotional about his son's wedding. This book is a perfect blend.

5 Stars

[Dolly · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Dave Barry's books. They are snarky, insightful, immature and fun. This book is comprised of a series of stories, most of which are longer than his normal newspaper column, but short enough to read, say, while waiting for the cable lady to fix your cable. The span of topics varies greatly, but they are wildly funny and genuinely speak to his amusement over the quirks of American society. I thought the parodies of the television show 24 and the Twilight franchise were pretty good. And while I'd never read his column regarding colonoscopies, apparently it's a viral hit on the internet. It's a good one to show any fifty-plus year old person who is delaying this important medical screening.

[Mary Simses · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in about two nights and I laughed my way through the whole thing. Dave Barry has an amazing talent for looking at the world around him and observing it with such humor. I loved his take on being a father, having a dog, and enduring dance recitals; his attempt at explaining how men think and the story of how he and his friend tried to write a screenplay. One of the funniest things in the book is a satire of the Stephenie Meyer vampire novels, so if you're a fan of Stephenie you might not see the humor. When I finished the book I felt as though I'd had a very funny, kind of loud-mouthed guest staying with us for the past two days and that he'd just left. I miss him. Onto the next Dave Barry ....