Lisa: A True Story of a Woman's Fight to Find her True Identity

by Lisa Morris, Jennifer Tabora, Kimberly Receveur

It all begins from a place of despair, of not knowing who I was or where I was headed. I was a young woman with no adult guidance, no true definition of love, with a huge anger problem, lust, and all types of insecurity. My mother was in prison, my father passed away when I was incredibly young. So, I was raised by my grandmother and moved from one aunt’s house to the next. It is no surprise that I grew up not having a lot of trust in men. Mostly because of seeing the way they treated the women in my life. By the time I got married for the first time I didn’t know how to treat a man, much less a husband, and there was no way I was going to trust him. I had so much built up and buried within me that I did not know how to express what I was feeling. I didn't think my voice was valuable. In all of the years of living up till now, no one cared to listen so why in the world would they care now. I didn’t feel heard, so I spent most of my energy making sure that somebody was going to listen to me. Even if that meant I had to show my tail to do it. But it just became a vicious cycle; self-destruction at its finest. I was stuck. I was stuck in the pit of my past surrounded by the pain of growing up without any guidance or direction. I had raised myself. I became the captain of my own ship and thought I had all the answers. I had to learn to take care of myself so that is what I did. In the end, I always felt like I had control. Even though there was some part of me that knew I was out of control. I just chose to ignore it. I can look back now and know, the more my life was out of control the more I tried to control those around me. My desire to control others caused the ugliness of my soul to contaminate the hearts of those I loved. I imagine it left others wounded by my own pain and sometimes I felt the guilt of it, even if I couldn’t acknowledge it. The ugliness of my attitude was hard to carry alone. The battle scars of pride and stubbornness were hidden beneath the surface. I was a liar and a thief, conceited and self-centered in all of my ways. Jealousy and anger ripped through my relationships as if it had teeth that tore to the bone. Depression crouched at my door as if waiting to devour all that was left of me. Foul language was used as if it were a sword and shield for my protection, with screams of bitterness spewing from my soul. The interesting part was, it was all done from a place called self-centeredness. I could say it was my pain, and I wasn’t shy of excuses to be that way, but the excuses for staying that way we're running out. I just hadn’t realized that yet.

61 pages, Kindle Edition

Published February 26, 2021

About the author

I feel privileged to have been a classroom educator for the past 25 years as well as a college adjunct professor for the past three. I am so blessed to have 5 educational books published that are geared towards helping fellow teachers of reading and writing:

Awakening Brilliance in the Writer's Workshop (Eye on Education)

RTI Meets Writer's Workshop (Corwin press)

Narrative Know-How (Tate Publishing)

Expository Explosion (Tate Publishing)

Teaching the Common Core Literature Standards (Routledge)

I also have 5 stories published in the well-loved anthologies...Chicken Soup for the Soul. I grew up reading these so it is always exciting to receive news when my writings are selected to be in these books.

The book that I hold dear to my heart is my anthology...One Life at a Time: A Rescuer's Memoir. This book is available on Amazon and Kindle. These stories embrace the beautiful and yet heartbreaking nature of animal rescue.

And finally, I have added jewelry designer to my list of wishes that seem to be coming true. Please visit my little store at- https://www.etsy.com/shop/BeulahBelle...