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The Big Turnoff: Confessions of a TV-Addicted Mom Trying to Raise a TV-Free Kid
Alternately hilarious and trenchant in its observations about our media-crazed culture, this is the true tale of a TV-addicted mother's struggle to kick the habit and keep the boob tube out of her son's daily existence.
Like most parents, Ellen Currey-Wilson and her husband aspired to be better parents than their own. Currey-Wilson, who shared most of her childhood with The Beverly Hillbillies , maintained intimate relationships with Mary, Rhoda, and Phyllis, and remained up-to-date on the fictional history of every character on Friends , longs for her son, Casey, to know the people around him better than he knows the Teletubbies . And, like most parents, she goes a bit overboard.
In her revealing and outspoken take on parenting, Currey-Wilson recounts her increasingly outlandish behavior—such as literally throwing herself in front of the TV set at her son's playmates' houses to prevent any inadvertent watching—and the intermittent fits of insecurity that find her worrying whether Casey might be ostracized for not knowing the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants . But something remarkable happens as TV assumes a backseat to real Currey-Wilson's relationships with her laidback husband, new-age sister, eccentric mother, and remarkably self-possessed son begin to deepen and grow. In an age when it's easier to flip on the TV than to interact with people, The Big Turnoff shows what happens when one woman decides to buck the trend.
Like most parents, Ellen Currey-Wilson and her husband aspired to be better parents than their own. Currey-Wilson, who shared most of her childhood with The Beverly Hillbillies , maintained intimate relationships with Mary, Rhoda, and Phyllis, and remained up-to-date on the fictional history of every character on Friends , longs for her son, Casey, to know the people around him better than he knows the Teletubbies . And, like most parents, she goes a bit overboard.
In her revealing and outspoken take on parenting, Currey-Wilson recounts her increasingly outlandish behavior—such as literally throwing herself in front of the TV set at her son's playmates' houses to prevent any inadvertent watching—and the intermittent fits of insecurity that find her worrying whether Casey might be ostracized for not knowing the theme song to SpongeBob SquarePants . But something remarkable happens as TV assumes a backseat to real Currey-Wilson's relationships with her laidback husband, new-age sister, eccentric mother, and remarkably self-possessed son begin to deepen and grow. In an age when it's easier to flip on the TV than to interact with people, The Big Turnoff shows what happens when one woman decides to buck the trend.
352 pages, Hardcover
First published April 20, 2007
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews
July 29, 2008
This Portland author lives right in my neighborhood and wrote this memoir about her experiences trying to overcome her TV addiction and raise a son without television. Based on what she presents in the book, I would say she succeeded remarkably, although she definitely had her moments of zealotry, extremism and judgmentalism. (Is that a word?) Actually, much of the book goes beyond just the TV-free theme and gets into the challenges and rewards a neurotic and overprotective parent faces in raising a bright and gifted child. And she was definitely neurotic. Some of her antics might seem a little crazy, like when she jumps in front of the TV at a neighbor's house to prevent her son from seeing the screen, or how she agonizes over what all of the other parents at her son's school think about her and whether or not he will "fit in" with the other kids who watch TV.
My main criticism was the "Too Much Information" (TMI) phenomenon, that is, she kept providing slightly-too-personal details about her life that weren't really essential to the mission of the book. If you can get beyond some of her neurotic antics and the TMI, though, there is some good material here about how to be involved in your kid's life and raise a thoughtful, creative, engaged little one who isn't addicted to TV and video games.
My main criticism was the "Too Much Information" (TMI) phenomenon, that is, she kept providing slightly-too-personal details about her life that weren't really essential to the mission of the book. If you can get beyond some of her neurotic antics and the TMI, though, there is some good material here about how to be involved in your kid's life and raise a thoughtful, creative, engaged little one who isn't addicted to TV and video games.
January 2, 2011
I wish this book had been written by someone who was a little more likable. Currey-Wilson just comes off as neurotic and self centered. It was hard to read a book where the author claims to be on a moral high horse and then uses the line, "I just ignored him" at least once a chapter when referring to her husband. Great, the author doesn't want TV to norm horrible behavior for her son, that's noble. But what kind of values are getting normed when the author treats the people around her with such disrespect?
The book gave me a couple good things to think about...but mostly it was just annoying.
The book gave me a couple good things to think about...but mostly it was just annoying.
June 9, 2008
I'm excited to finally read this book by my friend Ellen!
updated 6/9/08 This was a quick, fun, entertaining read. If you know Ellen like I do, it's totally in her voice. Which I found totally funny. I applaud her for her courage and determination and commitment. To everything she does. I was very impressed and it kept me entertained and enthralled during my 6 hours in the chemo suite today!!!!
updated 6/9/08 This was a quick, fun, entertaining read. If you know Ellen like I do, it's totally in her voice. Which I found totally funny. I applaud her for her courage and determination and commitment. To everything she does. I was very impressed and it kept me entertained and enthralled during my 6 hours in the chemo suite today!!!!
October 17, 2007
Kudos to the author for her efforts keeping her kid from being a zombie in front of the TV - to her credit he turns out great - though she is a little neurotic, going from one extreme to the other. A slightly above average rating from me.
January 27, 2008
You will never feel the same when you turn on your television after you read the "The Big Turnoff" by Ellen Currey-Wilson. Published in 2007 by Algonquin Books of Chapel-Hill, "The Big Turnoff" follows the journey of the author after she makes the decision that her soon-to-be-born child will not be exposed to television. Currey-Wilson makes this decision based studies that show the detrimental influence television has on children and on her realization that she is addicted to television.
Her book opens with her informing her husband of her decision that she supports with facts gleaned from articles such as:
The average child sees 16,000 murders on television by the age of 18.
Every hour of television watched by preschoolers increases their chances of being bullies by 9 percent.
Over 60 percent of child obesity cases are linked to excessive television viewing.
Currey-Wilson's determination to spare her child such negative effects comes from her recognition that her excessive television viewing arises from a dysfunctional need for comfort and distraction. She knows that she uses television as a companion instead of participating more fully in life. Television was her companion all the way through a troubled childhood that included a dead father and an alcoholic, pill-popping mother. She skipped a lot of school and watched television instead, and she still watches hours of television every day.
Protecting her child from television prompts the author to establish a plan of cutting down her television viewing to two hours a week. This goal is supposed to be reached by the time her son is born, but it actually takes years for her to meet her goal.
Her television addiction is portrayed in guilty detail throughout the book as she struggles to overcome the powerful draw of the television. Even as she protects her baby from its influence, she comforts herself with television to cope with the stress of being a mother.
Also, as the author describes her journey out of her addiction, she shows you through the course of the narrative just how omnipresent television is in our lives and in our society. The other mothers that Currey-Wilson befriends all use television and videos as a way to entertain and placate their children, which often makes play dates and other social situations difficult for the author because her child is not supposed to view television. For example, her son does not know the television characters on which the other children base their games.
Currey-Wilson portrays herself with unflattering candor as she reveals her numerous insecurities and shortcomings as a person. Although she is vehemently committed to keeping her young son television free, she then becomes overly stressed about his trouble fitting in and making friends with all the television-raised children. She actually suffers more than her son, who is actually happy and comfortable with his lifestyle.
Currey-Wilson also reveals her problems creating friendships because she is more accustomed to watching television than interacting with people. In her discussions with her therapist, Currey-Wilson describes her slowly maturing ability to form real human relationships as a progression from junior high to high school to adulthood. Her progress with relationships is touchingly illustrated by her improving interactions with her mother. They used to only watch television together, but now, under the new television-limiting rules of the home, Currey-Wilson and her mother join in genuine conversation and new activities. The author begins to overcome lingering resentments about her mother as she learns about the challenges her mother faced as a single parent and feminist career woman. She achieves a much deeper understanding and sympathy for her mother.
"The Big Turnoff" is written with great skill, which the reader can appreciate even more because part of the book describes the author's development as a writer as she turns away from television. Many of the analogies she weaves throughout her narrative are derived from the plots and characters of television shows. This technique reinforces the author's point about the pervasiveness of television in our society.
About the only flaw in this book that makes a good case for everyone to limit television viewing is the occasional peak into Currey-Wilson's sex life. I do not mind sex is books, but I just was not interested in her sex with her husband, and I do not think that it added anything to an otherwise important book.
Aside from a couple doses of "too much information" Currey-Wilson has produced a book that everyone should read. Her own neurotic behavior and poor interpersonal skills prove her case against excessive television viewing. And her recovery from her addiction and development into a healthy and beneficial member of her community should inspire everyone to watch less television and do more.
Her book opens with her informing her husband of her decision that she supports with facts gleaned from articles such as:
The average child sees 16,000 murders on television by the age of 18.
Every hour of television watched by preschoolers increases their chances of being bullies by 9 percent.
Over 60 percent of child obesity cases are linked to excessive television viewing.
Currey-Wilson's determination to spare her child such negative effects comes from her recognition that her excessive television viewing arises from a dysfunctional need for comfort and distraction. She knows that she uses television as a companion instead of participating more fully in life. Television was her companion all the way through a troubled childhood that included a dead father and an alcoholic, pill-popping mother. She skipped a lot of school and watched television instead, and she still watches hours of television every day.
Protecting her child from television prompts the author to establish a plan of cutting down her television viewing to two hours a week. This goal is supposed to be reached by the time her son is born, but it actually takes years for her to meet her goal.
Her television addiction is portrayed in guilty detail throughout the book as she struggles to overcome the powerful draw of the television. Even as she protects her baby from its influence, she comforts herself with television to cope with the stress of being a mother.
Also, as the author describes her journey out of her addiction, she shows you through the course of the narrative just how omnipresent television is in our lives and in our society. The other mothers that Currey-Wilson befriends all use television and videos as a way to entertain and placate their children, which often makes play dates and other social situations difficult for the author because her child is not supposed to view television. For example, her son does not know the television characters on which the other children base their games.
Currey-Wilson portrays herself with unflattering candor as she reveals her numerous insecurities and shortcomings as a person. Although she is vehemently committed to keeping her young son television free, she then becomes overly stressed about his trouble fitting in and making friends with all the television-raised children. She actually suffers more than her son, who is actually happy and comfortable with his lifestyle.
Currey-Wilson also reveals her problems creating friendships because she is more accustomed to watching television than interacting with people. In her discussions with her therapist, Currey-Wilson describes her slowly maturing ability to form real human relationships as a progression from junior high to high school to adulthood. Her progress with relationships is touchingly illustrated by her improving interactions with her mother. They used to only watch television together, but now, under the new television-limiting rules of the home, Currey-Wilson and her mother join in genuine conversation and new activities. The author begins to overcome lingering resentments about her mother as she learns about the challenges her mother faced as a single parent and feminist career woman. She achieves a much deeper understanding and sympathy for her mother.
"The Big Turnoff" is written with great skill, which the reader can appreciate even more because part of the book describes the author's development as a writer as she turns away from television. Many of the analogies she weaves throughout her narrative are derived from the plots and characters of television shows. This technique reinforces the author's point about the pervasiveness of television in our society.
About the only flaw in this book that makes a good case for everyone to limit television viewing is the occasional peak into Currey-Wilson's sex life. I do not mind sex is books, but I just was not interested in her sex with her husband, and I do not think that it added anything to an otherwise important book.
Aside from a couple doses of "too much information" Currey-Wilson has produced a book that everyone should read. Her own neurotic behavior and poor interpersonal skills prove her case against excessive television viewing. And her recovery from her addiction and development into a healthy and beneficial member of her community should inspire everyone to watch less television and do more.
April 28, 2008
I really enjoyed this book. I chose to read it as this past week was Turn Off TV Week.
Yes, the author has nutjob neurotic tendencies (she seems to find fault with whatever scenario occurs) - but these don't detract from her overall mission, which is to conquer her addiction to TV and to raise her son without it. This book had a lot of humor in it, and I laughed out loud on more than one occasion. I could relate a LOT to the author's struggles with TV - having watched MORE than my fair share growing up and still now to this day, this made me take a look at my habits and try to set limits for myself again. And it definitely reaffirms my belief as a parent that no TV for kids is the way to go! It let me peek into the future a bit to see what troubles may be coming my way as I raise my child free from TV - situations that will undoubtedly arise with his friends and other parents, and even school. I am thankful that Currey-Wilson has started a yahoo-group to help other TV-Free families find support and camaraderie.
Yes, the author has nutjob neurotic tendencies (she seems to find fault with whatever scenario occurs) - but these don't detract from her overall mission, which is to conquer her addiction to TV and to raise her son without it. This book had a lot of humor in it, and I laughed out loud on more than one occasion. I could relate a LOT to the author's struggles with TV - having watched MORE than my fair share growing up and still now to this day, this made me take a look at my habits and try to set limits for myself again. And it definitely reaffirms my belief as a parent that no TV for kids is the way to go! It let me peek into the future a bit to see what troubles may be coming my way as I raise my child free from TV - situations that will undoubtedly arise with his friends and other parents, and even school. I am thankful that Currey-Wilson has started a yahoo-group to help other TV-Free families find support and camaraderie.
April 26, 2009
For much of my childhood, we didn't have a TV and I think it affected me in many ways. Aside from having huge holes in my pop culture knowledge when it comes to TV shows, I also think it influenced why I am such an avid reader. The issue of television was a big one for me when I had my own son so this book was of particular interest. This is a really well-written book about one mother's quest to keep her son from watching TV and the difficulties of doing this in our TV-focused society. I very much related to her struggles in her quest and as a mother, and it raises many interesting questions about TV and children. I think this is a must read for any parent!
March 31, 2010
I really enjoyed The Big Turnoff by Ellen Currey-Wilson. The memoir follows the author’s adventures raising her son without television when she herself is a TV addict. She talks about the challenges (will her son fit in at school without knowing all the cool TV shows? How will she find time for herself without plopping her son down in front of Sesame Street?) and joys (playing with her child, being the her son’s friends’ favorite house to visit) of trying to raise a TV-free kid in the modern world while weaning herself off reruns of old sitcoms and classic movies. It was both comical and eye-opening; definitely a great read, with lots to think about without being preachy.
July 5, 2008
Gift from my husband. I think he's trying to tell me something.
The woman who wrote this book is a bit neurotic (she doesn't want her kid to watch TV because she wants him to be his own person, but then freaks out that people will think she's weird and tries to keep it a secret). But as someone who is a bit of a TV addict and hopes to have a TV free environment for her soon to be born child, I enjoyed her story. This book is purely for entertainment and is just one woman's experience. It's a fun and an easy read.
The woman who wrote this book is a bit neurotic (she doesn't want her kid to watch TV because she wants him to be his own person, but then freaks out that people will think she's weird and tries to keep it a secret). But as someone who is a bit of a TV addict and hopes to have a TV free environment for her soon to be born child, I enjoyed her story. This book is purely for entertainment and is just one woman's experience. It's a fun and an easy read.
August 9, 2008
This is a funny story of a woman, who does enjoy her TV, who raises her son without it and all of the social issues it brought up, with other parents, her own family and even her husband. It is also full of great statistics and other hard facts about tv and media and their effects on youth. If you are looking for some inspiration to start a tv turn-off week in your community, this book could be it.
December 19, 2008
Hilarious book about a firsttime mother who wants to raise her child without TV. Fuuny scenes of her trying to hide it from her friends. Whether you agree or not with her fanaticism, what was most interesting to me was to see when and why her good friends introduced their children to TV. And, how hard it is to belong in the world as a kid if you don't watch TV. Not the usual lecturing view, it was very funny but also gave me a lot to think about.
July 10, 2008
Easy to read and interesting. Not as many facts and information about the negative aspect of television that I had somewhat expected. More just an account of how someone who loved to watch TV chose to restrict TV viewing for her only child and came to desire less TV time herself. Good book.
October 29, 2008
This book mirrored my struggles... how does a child of the 1980s who grew up along with the TV Guide schedule raise a child better.
August 21, 2010
Gave what I expect to be a pretty realistic view of the struggle and reward of raising a TV-free kid.
September 16, 2011
Excellent. Not just about tv, about mothering. funny. Sad that my kids have watched too much tv
August 13, 2012
This was a good read and is more than just about limiting tv. It is a woman's journey with mothering a young child. It was helpful to read.
December 15, 2017
For much of her life, first-time author Currey-Wilson was addicted to watching television, the balm that kept her from “thinking about or feeling anything unpleasant.” When she became a parent, however, she did not want her young son to suffer the same isolating fate. In this memoir of her trials and tribulations in raising him TV-free, she shares her anxieties, frustrations, and tactics. While other parents may empathize with her admittedly noble goal, they may chafe (as this reviewer did) at her neuroticism and/or find her tone gratingly self-pitying. Overall, her main points are all handled better elsewhere. On the matter of TV being bad, see James P. Steyer’s The Other Parent: The Inside Story of the Media's Effect on Our Children. For advice on fussy, colicky babies, turn to Barry Lester and Catherine O’Neill Grace’s Why Is My Baby Crying? : The Parent's Survival Guide for Coping with Crying Problems and Colic. And on seemingly harmless habits (like watching TV), there’s Judith Wright’s The Soft Addiction Solution: Break Free of the Seemingly Harmless Habits That Keep You from the Life You Want.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.
December 20, 2019
Finished it yesterday and it was okay. I liked the fact it was written by a local author and the book described some of the challenges of raising a child who was not exposed to television until he got into elementary school. The book also exposed some of the insecurities the author had to confront when she was dealing with her own addiction of TV and the need to fit in so her son isn't viewed as an outcast. What I took away from the book is that not watching TV is not a cure all for family issues and insecurities. What it does, however, is the choice will compel to find alternatives for entertainment, confront issues more often, and define values a family must agree on.
August 20, 2011
Interesting book. I can empathize with the author, who says she was partially rasied by the TV. I wondered why my family wasn't like the families on Growing Pains, Family Ties, etc, just as the author mentioned that in real life she had a sister with a beard, which of course would never happen on a TV family. I also believe that TV is the "boob tube", and the need to buy more and more does almost evaporate without the TV. I learned that without a TV, it is much easier for a person to know him/herself.
However, the book didn't address some issues. It seems like the author's son didn't have any challenges at all growing up. He prefered games like Chess to Xbox, Playstation, etc, and never had any issues fitting it. It doesn't quite seem conceivable that one can go through school without any peer pressure to buy the latest gadgets, see the latest, movies, etc. According to the book, the author's son didn't encounter any of this.
However, the book didn't address some issues. It seems like the author's son didn't have any challenges at all growing up. He prefered games like Chess to Xbox, Playstation, etc, and never had any issues fitting it. It doesn't quite seem conceivable that one can go through school without any peer pressure to buy the latest gadgets, see the latest, movies, etc. According to the book, the author's son didn't encounter any of this.
May 5, 2014
The author is a comfortable kind of crazy. She has the kind of neurosis that you can relate to and at the same time say, "Whew, at least I'm not that bad". I found parts pretty funny and then incredibly depressing. I admire what she's done and that she's painfully honest, though she is the definition of a helicopter parent, and a self-centered one at that. I found it funny that she was trying to force her kid into watching tv at the end so he'd be more like everyone else.
There is some F-bombs, but it's a rarity, and a handful of sex stories that are just weird. Not as in kinky weird, but as in why-the-heck-is-this-being-mentioned weird.
The ending seemed off as if the editor said, "Hey, we need to figure out how to end this with you having learned something or make you more likable." Whatever it was, it felt false and forced.
There is some F-bombs, but it's a rarity, and a handful of sex stories that are just weird. Not as in kinky weird, but as in why-the-heck-is-this-being-mentioned weird.
The ending seemed off as if the editor said, "Hey, we need to figure out how to end this with you having learned something or make you more likable." Whatever it was, it felt false and forced.
April 6, 2015
Amusing antidotes at best
I find that Ellen Curry Wilson's account of trying to raise her son without television full of amusing antidotes that are written in a comic engaging manner. While she does leave the reader with important points to reflect on it felt at times like used this book as a platform for generalized liberal opinions that lacked any research to prove her point. I actually do not endorse a TV free lifestyle as much as i am interested in how other writers approach writing about controversial topics. She did not win me over in her thinking due to a lack of research with bibliographical information. However she tells her story in a compelling way which made me want to keep reading to the end.
I find that Ellen Curry Wilson's account of trying to raise her son without television full of amusing antidotes that are written in a comic engaging manner. While she does leave the reader with important points to reflect on it felt at times like used this book as a platform for generalized liberal opinions that lacked any research to prove her point. I actually do not endorse a TV free lifestyle as much as i am interested in how other writers approach writing about controversial topics. She did not win me over in her thinking due to a lack of research with bibliographical information. However she tells her story in a compelling way which made me want to keep reading to the end.
July 29, 2007
not particularly well written and only occasionally entertaining. i mostly think the author is psychotic. she's addicted to tv and refuses to allow her child to watch. while i like that she is fighting the good anti-tv fight, i think she's a bit bananas when she constructs baby blocks so that she can breastfeed in front of the telly but keep it out of the kid's sight line. her plan backfires a bit when she can't even coerce him into watching lion king (but he is psyched about the car instructional video and olympics pairs skating). there are plenty of child rearing memoirs w/ greater and more useful insight and advice.
October 9, 2012
Not what I expected, but I felt was well written and a nice easy book to read. The author is quirky and honest, and although she is coming from a different place than me (I generally find TV and movies boring, and greatly dislike the idea of sitting through most movies more than once!), I admire her. I didn't understand why she couldn't be honest about not letting her son watch TV with her friends & acquaintances - you would think that would be something to brag about - although from the attitudes she seems to encounter, obviously people around her see it differently.
May 19, 2007
The title of this book sums up the content nicely. The author, admittedly, is a completely neurotic mother. I got the impression that she realizes she's a work in progress and is striving to tone down her erratic behavior and her tendency toward being dogmatic. Although I love reading and do read a lot, it's very difficult for me to give up TV for one day. The author has some interesting points, but I agreed with her husband, who described her as a "zealot" about the subject of No TV.
April 16, 2008
I liked this book, I thought she was a nut case and had no sense but that is what made me like the book, reading about how crazy she was about keeping her kid away from the TV and how she did go out of her way so that he couldn't even see the screen. I really don't understand how she was able to do so when most restaurants and stores have TVs, I guess she never took her kid to Best Buy or the electronic section at any other store...
July 23, 2011
It was an okay read. I guess I was hoping for a not just a story of her journey but maybe more with insight as how to pull it off. Still good, though. I could have done without some of the topics discussed.
May 7, 2007
I think I'm the first person on goodreads to read this book, lol.
May 29, 2007
TV memang ada baik dan buruk untuk anak2.Makanya harus dipilah2.Kalau aku sih nganjurin sebaiknya anak2 ga usah di depan TV mending diberi buku banyak2.Nanti kecanduan TV
October 11, 2008
Didn't make me change my ways unfortunately.
May 13, 2012
This book is funny, persuasive, and motivating.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 30 reviews