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When You Say One Thing but Mean Your Mother
Poetry. Who's the queen of kundalini bloopers, Emily Dickinson's attitude problem (that bitch) and California dreams? It's Melissa Broder, who will charm your pants off and show you a little tough love in this vivid, witty first collection of poems. Each poem is artisan-crafted in controlled couplets, weighty triplets, tight syllabics and assonance that will take the top of your head off. But you won't have the time to absorb the academic monkeyshine--so absorbed you'll be on the flip side of Bat Mitzvah stress-syndrome, Aunt Sheila's in Taos, vampires in absentia, and brand names, brand names, brand names. From junkie fetishism to a housewife with a special "thing" for laundry, Broder does dark with magnetic charisma and enchanting humor.
96 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
3 people are currently reading
1998 people want to read
About the author
Melissa Broder
20 books6,269 followersMelissa Broder is the author of the novels DEATH VALLEY, MILK FED and THE PISCES, the essay collection SO SAD TODAY, and five collections of poems including SUPERDOOM: Selected Poems and LAST SEXT.
Her books have been translated in over ten languages.
She lives in Los Angeles.
www.melissabroder.com
Her books have been translated in over ten languages.
She lives in Los Angeles.
www.melissabroder.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews
May 8, 2022
If I don't stop using
the word fingerbang
I'll never get to be
poet laureate.*
Broder takes feminine nightmares, tosses in punchy product placement, then mixes well.
Some of these amused me, others just left me scratching my noggin.
(Perhaps . . . Head & Shoulders?)
That said, I'm glad I borrowed rather than purchased this unusual collection.
*from Dear Billy Collins
the word fingerbang
I'll never get to be
poet laureate.*
Broder takes feminine nightmares, tosses in punchy product placement, then mixes well.
Some of these amused me, others just left me scratching my noggin.
(Perhaps . . . Head & Shoulders?)
That said, I'm glad I borrowed rather than purchased this unusual collection.
*from Dear Billy Collins
January 5, 2010
Melissa Broder's first collection is like a goody bag for poetry lovers. The poems are sweet and brightly colored, but they nevertheless pack the teeth-cracking crunch of hard candies. Her subject matter ranges from Jewish mothers to funny-pathetic New Yorkers to drugs and eating disorders. Especially sharp and affecting are her portraits of the teenage mind: pimpled wretches starve (“put dinner in a locket”), puke, pretend to do drugs, and wander greasily through many of the poems.
Formally, Broder’s poetry stands out for its playful engagement with sound. The poems luxuriate with full-rhymes and half-rhymes and sounds glancing off of each other; the effect is like an auditory funhouse of mirrors. But it’s not all circus-time for grownups in this sexy book--the images, while always entertaining, are jagged with emotion. In the dreamlike poem "Unhitchery," Broder imagines time rewinding:
Soon I drop out
of my own poem; the skull on the wall
reverts into an antelope, its heart
itching for the woods.
This disturbing image of a mounted head yearning for its flesh is only one example of how Broder's poetic candies may decide to choke you. But Broder can be quieter as well. In “Dear Aging Anarchist,” the poem’s mode of prickly snark shifts into authentic melancholy:
...Remember the drug dream you had
in ’79, where New York City
got silent sometimes? It died this evening.
Now there is a word for everything.
One could say that any writer is always trying to find the words for "everything." That this hits a sad note for Broder, obviously a writer herself, is truly thought-provoking. When the speaker in "Under the DM Tonight" says she has a "starlike ache," I get it. That phrase, with its gesture towards the gorgeous and the sad, is a subtle, consistent presence beneath the flash and dazzle of this very compelling debut.
Formally, Broder’s poetry stands out for its playful engagement with sound. The poems luxuriate with full-rhymes and half-rhymes and sounds glancing off of each other; the effect is like an auditory funhouse of mirrors. But it’s not all circus-time for grownups in this sexy book--the images, while always entertaining, are jagged with emotion. In the dreamlike poem "Unhitchery," Broder imagines time rewinding:
Soon I drop out
of my own poem; the skull on the wall
reverts into an antelope, its heart
itching for the woods.
This disturbing image of a mounted head yearning for its flesh is only one example of how Broder's poetic candies may decide to choke you. But Broder can be quieter as well. In “Dear Aging Anarchist,” the poem’s mode of prickly snark shifts into authentic melancholy:
...Remember the drug dream you had
in ’79, where New York City
got silent sometimes? It died this evening.
Now there is a word for everything.
One could say that any writer is always trying to find the words for "everything." That this hits a sad note for Broder, obviously a writer herself, is truly thought-provoking. When the speaker in "Under the DM Tonight" says she has a "starlike ache," I get it. That phrase, with its gesture towards the gorgeous and the sad, is a subtle, consistent presence beneath the flash and dazzle of this very compelling debut.
March 13, 2010
I've never been one much for poetry. I have no excuse, but I actually enjoyed Melissa Broder's writing and her unique view of the world. These poems are visual and, at times, quite gritty. But the snarkiness of her prose had me laughing out loud at times, and I found it refreshing.
I originally requested this book of poems simply because the title piqued my interest. But my favorite poem is not the one that shared the title of the book. My favorite is "Falling Off the Richter Scale." I love the way Broder paints the man trying to hold onto his fading youth as he goes through his mid-life, only to find that he no longer belongs anywhere. (Now, I could be completely off in my interpretation of this poem. Haha! I've never been very good at that sort of thing, but this is what the poem said to me.)
A great read full of snark and vivid imagery.
I originally requested this book of poems simply because the title piqued my interest. But my favorite poem is not the one that shared the title of the book. My favorite is "Falling Off the Richter Scale." I love the way Broder paints the man trying to hold onto his fading youth as he goes through his mid-life, only to find that he no longer belongs anywhere. (Now, I could be completely off in my interpretation of this poem. Haha! I've never been very good at that sort of thing, but this is what the poem said to me.)
A great read full of snark and vivid imagery.
May 22, 2025
Divine
January 10, 2022
Is she our Emily Dickinson? - “Faith is a muscle / like the rotator cuff” Gorgeous imagery - “You want to call her darling, but your lips / grow foreskin thick as pomegranate casing” “Always a girl in the song and a few at the bar.” The stunner line in this book that’s full of them - “Put dinner in a locket, then sniff to get to clavicle heaven” Speaks to our times, “boots on the ground” in our cynical romance culture, always leading w her heart on her sleeve. V fun. Exciting. “Brokeback Mountain” reaction poem!!
February 9, 2018
A fun, playful collection of poetry for female millennials. Loved it.
November 6, 2019
There’s flashes of brilliance but on the whole I found this collection of poems too specific.
December 28, 2020
Broder is one of my favorite modern poets. I am as addicted to her Twitter Timeline as I am to the way she weaves words. Masterful.
January 9, 2015
I'll start off by admitting that I have described Melissa Broder's twitter feed as "my favorite thing on the internet", so I might be a bit of a fanboy. That said, this is pretty fantastic stuff. I've been savoring this book for several weeks, reading only a poem or two every couple days, and I'm glad I spaced it out. I have a feeling I'll be coming back to read this again periodically, expecting that I'll tease out a bit more each time.
Broder's poems inhabit this weird place somewhere between pop culture musings, kvetching about a New York Jewish upbringing, some kind of gonzo travelogues, and a trippy but broken view of romance. Sometimes all at once. I wanted to give some examples by copying the first few lines of a couple poems here, but I got stuck because (a) I had a really hard time deciding which ones to quote, and (b) each one I picked I ended up wanting to copy the whole thing, because each line made the previous one better. So I won't do any quoting here, and as such I feel like I'm letting down everyone who reads this, at least a bit.
That isn't to say that this is a perfect volume, or that I loved it completely. A couple pieces left me flat, perhaps because I just couldn't relate at all, or perhaps because I could relate a bit too well. But who knows, maybe they'll seem different in a year or two.
Anyway, here's a recommendation: if you already like Broder, you'll like this collection. If you don't know her, check her out on Twitter; if you like that, you'll love this. And if you've seen her work before, and didn't care for it, I doubt this will change your mind.
Broder's poems inhabit this weird place somewhere between pop culture musings, kvetching about a New York Jewish upbringing, some kind of gonzo travelogues, and a trippy but broken view of romance. Sometimes all at once. I wanted to give some examples by copying the first few lines of a couple poems here, but I got stuck because (a) I had a really hard time deciding which ones to quote, and (b) each one I picked I ended up wanting to copy the whole thing, because each line made the previous one better. So I won't do any quoting here, and as such I feel like I'm letting down everyone who reads this, at least a bit.
That isn't to say that this is a perfect volume, or that I loved it completely. A couple pieces left me flat, perhaps because I just couldn't relate at all, or perhaps because I could relate a bit too well. But who knows, maybe they'll seem different in a year or two.
Anyway, here's a recommendation: if you already like Broder, you'll like this collection. If you don't know her, check her out on Twitter; if you like that, you'll love this. And if you've seen her work before, and didn't care for it, I doubt this will change your mind.
February 26, 2011
Melissa Broder's logic leaps unpredictably and yet seems perfectly intuitive. Same might be said of her bizarre syntax, which somehow sounds right. I love the way she forces pop references to submit to her poetics, dominatrix-like. Seriously, this is one of those books I can't find anything wrong with. I'm glad to have it on my shelf. And just when I was starting to lose faith in my generation's vision for poetry. If anyone knows of other poets doing this kind of work, especially female poets, please let me know. Still it would seem, reading this, Broder herself is all we need to have a movement on our hands.
July 23, 2010
I haven't been into poetry much either (aside from what was assigned in school) but Melissa Broder has redefined what "poetry" is to me and I can't wait for more!
September 2, 2010
screams 'rhyming dictionary'
too much rhyme
maybe that is too harsh, maybe just my mood
too much rhyme
maybe that is too harsh, maybe just my mood
July 4, 2012
This slim little volume is fabulous!
May 13, 2015
The kind of poems you don't want your parents to read as much as you enjoy every line.
October 31, 2016
I appreciate the melancholy but I didn't understand any of this.
Read
July 12, 2018I love Melissa Broder, and I'm glad I got this.
December 10, 2010
Very funny. Very smart. It's impossible not to enjoy reading Broder's poetry.
May 22, 2011
Good god, girl. Save a skull or two for senility.
April 14, 2025
- I’ve thoroughly enjoyed Broders novels, and I’ve been trying to get into poetry so this felt like a good match.
- what I like about her novels is her voice and use of hyper specific details and brands.
- Unfortunately when that translates to poetry I don’t have enough context clues to understand what was being referenced. Reading this on a cruise ship without internet to look up brand names and pop culture references, I fear a lot of this did not land.
- I’m not giving up on poetry though. I just think the slice of life I exist in doesn’t relate to this enough for it to resonate.
- what I like about her novels is her voice and use of hyper specific details and brands.
- Unfortunately when that translates to poetry I don’t have enough context clues to understand what was being referenced. Reading this on a cruise ship without internet to look up brand names and pop culture references, I fear a lot of this did not land.
- I’m not giving up on poetry though. I just think the slice of life I exist in doesn’t relate to this enough for it to resonate.
January 7, 2026
Only losing a star because as a British reader a lot of the references went over my head, which is undoubtedly a me problem!
Although some of the poems are somewhat impenetrable, and a lot of my understanding relied on my knowledge of Broder’s biography, there are some really compelling subjects and images here. Junkies and acne-suffers potter around LA, and are given the same status as the Lana del Reyness of their context. It is here that Broder successfully challenges American consumer culture and its sickliness while acknowledging the irony of her speakers’ participation in it.
Although some of the poems are somewhat impenetrable, and a lot of my understanding relied on my knowledge of Broder’s biography, there are some really compelling subjects and images here. Junkies and acne-suffers potter around LA, and are given the same status as the Lana del Reyness of their context. It is here that Broder successfully challenges American consumer culture and its sickliness while acknowledging the irony of her speakers’ participation in it.
September 22, 2021
I found the topics in this collection to be a bit specific - since I don't really know much about NYC, the west coast, drug or Jewish culture, I felt like about 60% of these went over my head in terms of content. I do love Melissa Borders appreciation for great word use though, which made the read as a whole enjoyable.
February 11, 2025
I’m Melissa Broder’s biggest fan (obsessed with her essays and fiction, a loyal follower from the anonymous Twitter account days). I liked this collection, didn’t love it. It’s her earlier work, so I’m not mad at her growth. A few poems did wow me, but the collection overall felt a tad self-indulgent.
January 28, 2024
I love Melissa Broder’s books but i think i am too dumb to understand poetry, especially hers.
November 30, 2021
Original and entertaining.
Read
January 14, 2022Did not understand a word. Is it my non-American-ness? I love her novels but not sure if her poetry is even for audiences like myself.
February 24, 2016
This book was OK. From the title/and the cover, I had the idea it would have a lot of mother/daughter tension – I normally don’t jump into books with such preconceptions, STILL, I starting reading the book expecting one thing and found another. The collection is not focused on a mother/daughter relationship as much as it is on other kinds of relationships –like with food, drugs, sex, men, anxieties...
I also had a difficult time relating to the poems personally – I often found them - snarky? It is difficult to pin point exactly what I mean – maybe derisive?
All the big struggles are accounted for – as is the razor sharp edge – however, I’m just not sure what the real danger is.
I liked SCARECRONE, Broder’s third book, better.
I also had a difficult time relating to the poems personally – I often found them - snarky? It is difficult to pin point exactly what I mean – maybe derisive?
All the big struggles are accounted for – as is the razor sharp edge – however, I’m just not sure what the real danger is.
I liked SCARECRONE, Broder’s third book, better.
September 8, 2023
A collection of poems that asks you to follow them down a dizzy path that often leaves the reader unsure what happened or what the poem was actually about.
from Inked: "A raven's wing / is graying on your cheek. Learn to love it / and relearn to love it. Wake up naked, // an infant. In public pools and mirrors / remember again: when you were young // you believed you'd be the same forever."
from Adult Onset Acne: "It's revisiting starvation / to compensate, peeling face / to save face. It's kinship with adolescent boys"
from Dear Billy Collins: "If I don't stop using / the word fingerbang / I'll never get to be // poet laureate. / Are morning at your house / really that good?"
from Inked: "A raven's wing / is graying on your cheek. Learn to love it / and relearn to love it. Wake up naked, // an infant. In public pools and mirrors / remember again: when you were young // you believed you'd be the same forever."
from Adult Onset Acne: "It's revisiting starvation / to compensate, peeling face / to save face. It's kinship with adolescent boys"
from Dear Billy Collins: "If I don't stop using / the word fingerbang / I'll never get to be // poet laureate. / Are morning at your house / really that good?"
October 1, 2010
I bought this book of poetry spontaneously at the booksmith after four key moments standing in the poetry aisle:
- Laughed at the title
- Saw author's last name
- Saw that the first poem was called "Jewish Voodoo"
- Saw that the fourth poem was called "We Will Find Ourselves Hating a Blonde Stranger."
- Thought the author, who I could probably contact, might be friends with Jonathan Safran Foer.
I really wanted to love these poems, but none of them really stuck with me. I think they might have resonated more if I were suffering from an eating disorder. But I still like the title.
- Laughed at the title
- Saw author's last name
- Saw that the first poem was called "Jewish Voodoo"
- Saw that the fourth poem was called "We Will Find Ourselves Hating a Blonde Stranger."
- Thought the author, who I could probably contact, might be friends with Jonathan Safran Foer.
I really wanted to love these poems, but none of them really stuck with me. I think they might have resonated more if I were suffering from an eating disorder. But I still like the title.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 39 reviews