Things I Left Behind

by Shada Mustafa

This is young Palestinian author Shada Mustafa's debut novel – a free-flowing narrative that interrogates, in short, direct sentences, the memories of growing up, falling in love, that keep forcing themselves out to be reckoned with. Through ceaseless questioning, and the seemingly random revisiting of each of the four “things” she has left behind, the narrator redeems her life from the inexplicable pain and tragic anguish that was her childhood in an occupied and divided land and family. In so doing, Mustafa creates a unique writing style while at the same time allowing the narrative its original, cathartic function, liberating herself from her past, and finding her true self. Why was she always having to cross the Qalandia checkpoint to see her dad or her mom? Why did they divorce? Why was her mom angry? How could she make her happy? Why was her dad a different man when he came out of the occupier's prison? What was more important, the cause or the people? The questions become more urgent when she becomes a student and falls in love. This short novel, original in its subject as much as its narrative technique, has been singled out from the start by being shortlisted for the 2021 Sheikh Zayed Book Award for Young Authors.

125 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 30, 2022

Reviews

[l · Rating 4 out of 5]

"Sometimes I wonder how the Palestinian cause relates to individual people's lives or the life of a family. Where does it fall on the scale? Which carries greater weight? The person, or the cause? I want to care about the cause , but I can't. All I can think about when somebody talks about the Palestinian cause is the fact that it stole my dad from me. I keep going back in time and thinking: If he hadn't gone to prison, would he and my mom have gotten divorced? Would I be able to look at my dad now and not find mountains between us? If it weren't for the cause, migth I have a father I loved, and who loved me? Would I have a happy family? And then I think: Which is more important? The human being, or the cause?"

There's a line from Nadezhda Mandelstam's memoir re: life under Stalin which people seem to adore quoting: “What we wouldn’t have given for a life of such ordinary heartbreaks.” I remember in another book, another Russian poet wryly commenting something to the extent that Mandelstam had plenty of ordinary heartbreaks as well.

You think of the generations now of Palestinians who have known no other reality than Israel's brutal, murderous, illegal, immoral, colonial and terroristic occupation, how their lives have been indelibly shaped by it, and it's unbearable. I think about it in terms of Canada as well. The sufferings that indigenous people have been through for no reason other than that someone else wanted their land.

[Jane · Rating 5 out of 5]

Book club read
No expectations at all but I loved this!! A really interesting structure exploring the protagonist’s difficult familial and romantic relationships, and how these have been impacted by the Palestinian occupation

[Marianne Dagevos · Rating 4 out of 5]

In dit debuut van de jonge Palestijnse schrijfster Shada Mustafa (1995) reflecteert zij in korte fragmenten op haar leven tot nu toe. Ze kijkt terug op haar jeugd, haar verhouding met haar vader en met haar moeder, haar studie in Beiroet en haar eerste grote verliefdheid. Eerlijk en ontwapenend vertelt ze over confrontaties tussen mensen die pijn doen en schade veroorzaken, over haar gevoelens, twijfels en spijt. Grote vragen als: waar ben ik thuis, bij wie ben ik veilig en wat kan ik achter me laten, komen op een ongedwongen manier aan de orde.

[jess tran · Rating 3 out of 5]

i loved the format of the book and the voice of the author. how interesting that her experiences and difficult love with her parents is translatable (literally too) halfway across the globe in a completely different geographical and social context. however unfortunately i can only read about #4 so much.

[Nicole Costello · Rating 5 out of 5]

Two Palestinian sisters navigating their parent’s divorce, which under ‘normal’ circumstances us a traumatic experience, add to it a father imprisoned and tortured by Israeli police and the ridiculous checkpoint crossings needed as for them to visit each parent. The more I read about Israeli occupation in Palestine the more rage I feel.