Pistache

Pistache

by Sebastian Faulks

Some very interesting pieces from the pen of the bestselling author of Birdsong and Human Traces — a collection of clever, funny and surprising parodies, pastiches and air-shots, inspired by The Write Stuff on Britain’s Radio 4.

Here’s a small sample of Pistache pieces:

Thomas Hardy is sent to cover the big match.
Jane Austen braves a contemporary “dance”.
William Shakespeare writes a speech for Basil Fawlty.
Oscar Wilde tries to be an agony uncle.
Samuel Beckett writes a monologue for Ronnie Corbett.

Pistache will be received with great delight by fans of Sebastian Faulks.

Genres: Humor, Fiction, Short Stories, Comedy, Literature, Essays, Contemporary

160 pages, Hardcover

First published October 5, 2006

About the author

Sebastian Faulks is a British novelist, journalist, and broadcaster best known for his acclaimed historical novels set in France, including The Girl at the Lion d'Or, Birdsong, and Charlotte Gray. Alongside these, he has written contemporary fiction, a James Bond continuation novel (Devil May Care), and a Jeeves homage (Jeeves and the Wedding Bells). A former literary editor and journalist, Faulks gained widespread recognition with Birdsong, which solidified his literary reputation. He has also appeared regularly on British media, notably as a team captain on BBC Radio 4's The Write Stuff, and authored the TV tie-in Faulks on Fiction. Honored as a Fellow of the Royal Society of Literature and appointed CBE for his services to literature, Faulks continues to publish widely, with The Seventh Son released in 2023.

Reviews

[Fiona MacDonald · Rating 3 out of 5]

'Pistache' was incredibly amusing. The idea of Faulks writing a short parody in the style of numerous authors on a range of hilarious topics was brilliant. I would say 80% of the parodies were extremely funny, whilst others were just clever with their words and showed the breadth of the author's talent. Such a great idea though. Well done Sebastian.

[Greg · Rating 5 out of 5]

Pistache, by Sebastian Faulks

T.S. Eliot: reflects that it might have come out better in limericks

Four Quartets
For an Anglican, time is too vast;
A rose or a vision can't last:
It's a moment in history,
Our grace and our mystery,
And the future is lost in the past.

pistache, pis-tash n  a friendly spoof or parody of another's work. [ Deriv uncertain. Possibly a cross between pastiche and p**stake.]

Includes
Franz Kafka: tries to keep up with the world of Mr Gates
George Orwell: confronts the real 1984
Virginia Woolf: goes to a hen-party
W.B. Yeats: reports on the 2006 Ryder Cup at Kildair
The Brontës: place some lonely hearts ads
Lewis Carroll: moves Alice into the 1960s
Thomas Hardy: is sent to cover the big match
James Joyce: makes a best man's speech
D.H. Lawrence: writes a brochure for 18-30 holidays
Dylan Thomas: writes a cereal advertisement
Enid Blyton: see the Famous Five grown up
Graham Greene: tries a story through a woman's eyes

Lots more . . .

This is not a book for the faint-hearted or the downstairs lavatory. It is a book for the bedside table of someone you cannot live without.

[Pete Young · Rating 4 out of 5]

A while before Faulks had written a new James Bond novel he’d already done a ‘pistache‘ (pastiche, piss-take, whatever) of Ian Fleming, one among many other short pieces for BBC Radio 4’s The Write Stuff that are collected here as flash fictions and poetry written in the styles of others. I can appreciate perfectly about half of them (and they are all indeed rather clever), but that half also reveals my own tastes and prejudices: Martin Amis has his first day at Hogwarts (probably my favourite), James Bond goes shopping, Dan Brown visits the ATM, Enid Blyton’s Famous Five are drafted by the Anti-Terrorist Squad, George Orwell confronts the real 1984, Harold Pinter writes a TV sitcom, Shakespeare composes a speech for Basil Fawlty... and on and on. The mind does boggle a bit at how diverse Faulks has shown he can be, and stay funny and mostly original too.

[GiGi · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hilarious. Absolutely worth the hour or two it took me to read through it all, then I had to find people to read my favourites to. Incredibly spot on prose imitations. Loved the Chaucer poem about Geri Halliwell.

[Michael Coney · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant

I have never read a book by Sebastian Faulks that I didn't love and this one I a masterpiece.
Inventive, witty and with brilliant parody some chapters had me laughing out loud. And even my teenage son raised a grin at Johnson's soccer report.

[Peter · Rating 3 out of 5]

Some funny and clever stuff here as long as you are already familiar with the writing style of every author he parodies. Worth reading 'Shakespeare's' Basil Fawlty monologue if nothing else.

[Dougie Morgan · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a brisk and often witty collection of affectionate pastiches of many of the luminaries of anglophone literature. Faulks is often thoughtful and effective in his transplantation of famous writers into new milieux or forms; for example, Austen's reflections on and ridicule of the fashions and social behaviours of her day make her a surprising but appropriate match to the yuppie preenings that are the focus of 'American Psycho'.

Whilst much of the collection can raise a titter of two, there are instances when the form and content are less effectively married. I found this the case for some of the poetry; for example, Faulks' rendition of Larkin's lines on the Queen Mother's birthday attends more to the poet's strict rhyme schemes than to his mastery of both rhythm and metaphorical transitions. Similarly, his reworking of T.S. Eliot's oeuvre into curt limericks, whilst amusing, falls short of the retention of substance achieved by Wendy Cope's lyrical summaries. However, the advantage of this book is that each pastiche is never more than a page or two long, so such missteps are soon left behind.

Overall, this is an enjoyable diversion for anyone who thinks the anglophone canon deserves a bit of gentle teasing.

[Caz · Rating 3 out of 5]

I adore SF. And R4. This is a very funny little book.
Toast

[Vanessa Reis · Rating 2 out of 5]

Um conjunto de contos (2-3 páginas cada) em jeito de sátira.

A ideia é engraçada e Faulks conhece os bem os autores cujo estilo imita (há sempre uma abordagem cómica: Dan Brown utiliza um multibanco; Thomas Hardy faz um relato de futebol; o primeiro dia de Martin Amis em Hogwarts), mas a fórmula resulta melhor nuns textos no que noutros, e o livro arrasta-se ao ponto de começarmos com um sorriso e acabarmos com um bocejo.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very witty and clever, but having also read the follow up Pistache Returns, I rate it higher. Maybe they got better over time. A fun book to dip into and some good illustrations.

[Gordon · Rating 1 out of 5]

I picked this book up from the local library at a book-sale for $1.00. It was a perfect sized pocket book for what I wanted. Before putting the book to good use, I opted to give it a read-through. I flipped through a few of the stories, and found them utterly un-interesting. Which was lucky for me. The book was in great shape from having sat on a shelf being ignored.

I set to work quickly, using a scalpel to cut the pages out of the inside removing a perfectly Kobo sized section. I discarded the dust jacket faster than felt necessary and glued the remainder together. What resulted was one of the most useful books in my library. Perfectly sized, non-descript, brown with a little red devil on the cover. I love it.

I'm not sure how to rate this book. The content was shit, but I made quick work of that. Now it's the most opened book in my library.

[Jude Brigley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Just suits my sense of humour. Love all the send-ups of literary greats. Hugely enjoyable.

[H · Rating 2 out of 5]

Hit and miss, most no more than a gentle laugh.

[Jeremy Walton · Rating 4 out of 5]

Many smiles of recognition
I found this in a remaindered bookshop a few weeks ago and picked it up immediately, thinking of the amazing parodies that Faulks used to produce (seemingly with little or no preparation) on Radio 4's "The Write Stuff". This is a handy collection of the best of them, along with a few that have been specially written for this compilation. As others have pointed out, there's some degree of unevenness here, though it'd be churlish to ask for everything to be up at the standard of Dan Brown at the cashpoint, Noel Coward's lyric about Big Brother, or James Bond's visit to the supermarket. I relished the former so greatly that I've practically learnt it off by heart; having been so moved by Brown's uncanny ability to use the wrong word almost all the time that I tried my own hand at a parody (in my review of "Angels And Demons" on this site), I felt I wanted to reach through the pages to shake hands with Faulks as he struck exactly the right note in this hilarious piece. This little book doesn't take long to read at all, but you'll be smiling for some time after putting it down.

Originally reviewed 1 July 2008

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

I do dimly and affectionately remember 'The Write Stuff' which this is based on. Some of the entries are hilarious, particularly Shakespeare as Basil Fawlty and Mr Micawber on the Rolling Stones, the Beatles and Elton John.

[Toby Maclachlan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny, especially Dan brown at the ATM. I only knew enough about half of the authors to find them engaging and only enough about half of them to really enjoy them. Those that I did though I thoroughly enjoyed. Single page pastiches that pull no punches. An excellent toilet book!

[Matthew Fleming · Rating 3 out of 5]

Clever and funny - not all of them land, but enough of them do to make this an entertaining and fun diversion.

[Jason Towers · Rating 3 out of 5]

Amusing bedside reading, its occasional cruelty makes it a guilty pleasure.

[Andy Cumming · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you where asked to produce really poor humour for some cheap literary Christmas crackers then this would be a great source.

[LéiniJ · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️

[Anna Johnson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some very funny bits, but some appalling classism. Made me reconsider Sebastian Faulks.

[Vincent Button · Rating 2 out of 5]

Reminds me why I don't read the classics...

[Sim White · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really funny and clever. Short pieces, all gold star. S Faulks adopts the voice of writer and pastiches them with contemporary themes.

[Patrick Johns · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent. The Chandler and Greene sections were particularly well observed. But probably my favourite line was "Are you licensed to till?". I laughed a lot.

[Shaha · Rating 3 out of 5]

I thought I would enjoy this more than I did.

[Michael · Rating 4 out of 5]

Faulks is a master parodist and he's on good form here. As is often the case with this type of collection some of the work is a little hit and miss, but the good outweighs the bad.

[Laura · Rating 2 out of 5]

'Pistache, pis-tash n. a friendly spoof or parody of another's work. [Deriv. uncertain. Possibly a cross between pastiche and pisstake.:] This should have been very, very good. In the end it was a little hit and miss, with some of the bits of bite-size satire more gimmicky than anything else. Worth reading for a few of the best though, including 'Dan Brown visits the cash dispenser', 'Charles Dickens has a shot at being concise', 'Henry James writes a stand-up joke' (my personal fave!), 'Sylvia Plath tells the story of Goldilocks', and 'William Shakespeare writes a speech for Basil Fawlty'.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very short excerpts that show Faulks has a mastery for mimicking another writer's tone. I particularly enjoyed Wodehouse in the world of Chandler and vice versa. It's a very short book and should be taken slowly so as to savour it all the better. Unfortunately it is only truly amusing if you are familiar with the style of each of the writers mimicked but this is not Faulks' fault and even the ones I didn't know are bound to have been true to form if all the authors I did recognise are anything to go by.

[Poonam · Rating 3 out of 5]

It is spoof of another's work. None of the spoof is more than 2 pages long. Few ecamples, Martin Amis sends his lad to Hogwarts, Jane Austen steps out with American Psycho or Dan Brown visits the cash dispenser. Some of sotuations alone are funny. Sometimes complex writing on innocent subject as 'how to boil an egg' makes it funny (Updike). Though since I have never read Martin Amis, Philip Larkin, Chaucer or Updike - several of spoofs were lost on me or I couldn't appreciate their art completely. When I actually read these authors, I will come back to this book.

[Vishvapani · Rating 2 out of 5]

I enjoyed these pieces on The Write Stuff, but they don't stan up as more than momentary jokes, not proper parodies, which critique a writer by amplifying their weaknesses. The best are satires, which use the writer's style to critique contemporary mores. The Pope and Larkin pieces work well like that.