The Four Day Win: End Your Diet War and Achieve Thinner Peace

by Martha N. Beck

The woman Psychology Today calls "the best-known life coach in America" shatters the myth that willpower is an effective weight-loss tool and introduces a revolutionary approach to lifetime leanness based on a series of "4-day wins" that work with any weight-loss program

Substitute a good habit for a bad one and stick to it for just 4 days, and it begins to feel normal. That's the surprising discovery that holds the key to lifetime weight control, according to life coach and New York Times best-selling author Martha Beck. Not a conventional diet or exercise program, The Four-Day Win combines evolutionary logic, psychology, and neuroplasticity (the ability of the brain to restructure itself, which suggests ways to reshape our bodies) with strategies and success stories—plus large doses of humor and an insightful, straightforward approach to teach the principles required to reverse weight issues.

Drawn from hundreds of hours interviewing weight losers—in both her discussions with private clients and her groundbreaking consulting work for Jenny Craig—Dr. Beck

• why willpower-based dieting is doomed to fail

• how to step out of the conflict between the rule-making Commander (who bans all our favorite foods) and the rule-breaking Resistor (who gives in to cravings) and reach the Watcher, who is our happiest self

• what the latest research into the mind-body connection reveals about how our emotions affect our eating

Breaking down the weight-loss marathon into 4-day intervals, Dr. Beck provides effective strategies for changing the behaviors that make us fat. And if there is a relapse, readers take comfort in knowing they are just 4 days from turning it around.

Genres: Health, Nonfiction, Self Help, Diets, Psychology, Audiobook, Personal Growth

368 pages, Hardcover

First published December 19, 2006

About the author

Dr. Martha Beck, PhD, is a New York Times bestselling author, coach, and speaker. She holds three Harvard degrees in social science, and Oprah Winfrey has called her “one of the smartest women I know.” Martha is a passionate and engaging teacher, known for her unique combination of science, humor, and spirituality.

Her recent book, The Way of Integrity: Finding the Path to Your True Self, was an instant New York Times Best Seller and an Oprah’s Book Club selection. Her latest book, Beyond Anxiety: Curiosity, Creativity, and Finding Your Life’s Purpose is out now.

Reviews

[Kathleen Heuer · Rating 5 out of 5]

After losing and regaining the same 60 lbs twice (not counting all the attempts in between), I finally concluded that the key to taking weight off and keeping it off can't be just working out and eating right.

It had to be something psychological. Maybe something hardwired. Something I couldn't quite put my finger on.

Martha Beck's book showed me where exactly to put my finger, so to speak. She covered a myriad of obstacles that present themselves along one's weight loss journey.

And blessedly, she encourages the reader to adopt each healthier habit very slowly, by setting "ridiculously easy goals" and building upon them.

This, I can do. It's ridiculously easy!

I'm on day four of my first four day win.

Martha, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

[Susan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started reading this last month around the time I joined weight watchers. Between this program and that, I was losing weight very quickly -- too quickly, according to the eTools on WW's website. Then I stopped. Reading, that is, and doing the exercises Beck recommends. Big mistake. My weight started climbing again because I wasn't feeding the Wild Child that seeks food when it can't have what it wants. Lesson learned. Beck is back in my regime and this time, with her help and Weight Watchers', the result is going to stick. Martha makes you laugh while she motivates you. What could be better than that? This will get 5 stars when I've finished reading and doing the exercises because, you know folks, it's all about the Exercises.

[Liz Martini · Rating 2 out of 5]

Completely based on outdated theories of weight loss, it is a good thing that the author herself has naturally been more of an anorexic, not true "heavy." Some of her mental exercises could be useful, but the book needs to be entirely re-written with someone who understands the body in a scientific manner, rather than folklorically.

[Helynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

"The only diet skill you'll ultimately need is the ability to create inner calm" says wise and funny author Martha Beck (325). The Four-Day Win is a down-to-earth and often hilarious read about getting off the diet carousel and establishing a lifetime of sensible eating habits. I know that certain LDS people may not want to support a work by Martha Beck because of her book of a few years ago called Leaving the Saints in which she not only describes her exit from Mormonism, but also bad-mouths her late father, the iconic Hugh Nibley (but does not name him by name). If you are in this category, please give Martha another chance with this book in which she simply gives sound and humorous advice (think Erma Bombeck and Dave Barry) about taking the pressure off of ourselves to starve, and urges us to nourish our bodies with reason and healthy food. Those who have read another book called Intuitive Eating will notice the similarity to Beck's philosophy. The title suggests that four days is a good amount of time to establish better habits and break bad ones. The book is full of encouragement pages where the reader can list his/her food weaknesses, goals, ways to improve, etc. She warns against two demons that sit on each of our shoulders--the Dictator who tells us to starve, purge, and generally leaves us miserable and hating ourselves for our constant failures, and the Wild Child, who urges us to go crazy and do something like eat an entire pie in one sitting. Beck provides numerous case histories of people who vacillated so much between the demons that they actually became chubbier after dieting, not to mention totally obsessed with food. "If you increase the pressure to lose weight by swearing before God to go hungry forever, you escalate your stress responses until they make you want to eat everything in the nearest Krispie Kreme distribution outlet including the cashier" (312). To counteract the demons, Beck recommends listening to another inner voice, the Watcher, who will help each of us eat with moderation and reason. I love her "eat whatever the hell you want diet." Of course, this means one can eat what one wants as long as one tempers the philosophy with reason and what Beck calls SIN--Substitute Inedible Nourishment. That is, provide yourself with enough non-food fun that you'll compensate for the pleasure and contentment you'll no longer get from stuffing your face. (Her personal favorities are drawing, painting and looking through art books). Finally, Beck urges her readers to think of themselves in terms of a lifetime transformation to thinness. In other words, not to become merely a skinnier caterpillar, but to morph into a beautiful slender butterfly.

[Moira Katson · Rating 5 out of 5]

I adored this book. I'm the sort of person who prides myself on being pragmatic, so a routine that included daily meditation and the direction to do whatever my body told me wasn't exactly something I would have seen myself following a while back. I also hate (irrationally and unfairly) when people say self-help books changed their lives, but here we are: this book has changed my life.

Frankly, I'd recommend this book to people even if they don't want to lose weight. Being able to articulate and notice your feelings, thus dealing with them appropriately, being lower-stress, cultivating hobbies you've always wanted to take up (whittling for me...no idea why), and treating your body like it knows what it wants and isn't some deranged, violent criminal you have to keep a constant eye on... all of those things are pretty awesome.

Highly recommended.

[Tami · Rating 5 out of 5]

We all know that in order to lose weight we have to eat less and move more. This seems like a simple and obvious concept, so why doesn't it work. Why is it that the harder you try to lose weight (eating less and less and exercising more and more) the more likely that you end up craving junk food, binging, and eventually giving up? The Four Day Win gives us the answer.

Losing weight and being healthy isn't about willpower, starving ourselves to death, or exercising until we pass out. In fact, stubborn will-power is actually the problem. The key is listening to our needs and being kind to ourselves. Simplistically put, once we care to stop, listen, and understand our true needs, we soon realize that instead of dealing with our anxieties, our fears, and the things in our life that cause us stress, we tend to self medicate with food. It's seems so much easier to eat that chocolate cake than deal with that relationship issue or that job we hate. Then, we turn around and beat ourselves up because we weren't strong enough which makes us hate ourselves that much more causing us to binge. It's a horribly unloving cycle.

I'm eating less and I'm moving more but most of all I am paying more attention to my inner self these days. I'm constantly learning about myself while developing healthy self soothing and rat park strategies. I'm happier, healthier, and far more hopeful after having read this book. Four days really can change your life for the better.

[Sarah · Rating 3 out of 5]

While she does try a little too hard to be witty, the book does have some really good stuff about why trying to eat right isnt about "will power" and ways to get in better touch with what your body needs. While it is a "diet book" in the sense that she says that the end result of learning to eat this way will be weight loss, it's actually more of a psychology book, helping you observe your own eating habits and finding a way to be more at peace. It's helping me in the quest to overcome sugar addiction, to eat more fruits and veggies, and generally to stop my cycle of body hatred and unhealthy eating. It's not an eating plan or anything, it's a series of exercises designed to help you confront your food demons, whatever those may be. It's far from perfect, but I am finding it encouraging (I don't have to be at the whim of sugar!) and positive (she's an Oprah favorite, so yeah).

[Cara]

This book demands I turn my attention to a problem that's not very high on my priority list right now. Also, I'm finding the author's self-deprecating humor grating. May be returning unfinished. I think she's right about the scarcity mentality being a big part of many people's problems with losing weight--I had a brush with that myself a few years back and dropped it like a hot potato.
...

Yep, returning unfinished. Just don't feel like reading this. Maybe some day it will bubble up to the top.

[Tatjana · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author has a great sense of humor. I enjoyed this book and thought it complemented my weight loss journey with noom. I like the way it focuses on learning how not to obsess about food. That's the real goal: not to think about weight and food all the time.... Well it is for me, anyway.
It's an easy, short read. I bought it, but you probably can get it at your library.

[Lauren · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in spurts. I originally picked it up from the library but it was a new book and could only be checked out for a measly 7 days! I checked it out again (but after a lengthy break) and couldn't finish it in time. I finally bought it and yes it took me forever to finish but not because I don't find it to be an excellent book and resource.

I am a fan of Martha Beck's candid and conspiratorial style of writing. I wish I could handle all of her Four Day win suggestions. I am going to have to re-read this book and implement her suggestions. I think this is an excellent book for people who are serious about effectively changing their eating patterns. Because in order to lose weight it can't just be a crash diet it has to be a change of thinking and patterns and that takes time.

I highly recommend this book. It is broken down into phases and she carries you easily through each one. I can see how actually following through with her suggestions will actually bring about effective and lasting change.

[Caryl Morgan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love Martha Beck since I read Finding Your True North Star.
This book gave me wonderful added insights about how to lose weight and stay thin forever! Understanding the interplay between my Dictator, Wild Child (synonymous with our inborn primitive drive to stay alive in times of LACK-ATTACK) and the Watcher who sends them both Compassion, Understanding and Love - make for a Zen of Dieting kind of read which I appreciate. It throws light on the emotional hunger side of dieting and I for one am really applying the dedication to NON-EDIBLE nurturing treats for myself.

Ultimately the books's gift is in the title - understanding that doing anything for FOUR DAYS makes changing habits and re-programming the brain for change into a permanent way of peaceful living and thinner eating.

[Kristen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book! I originally bought it at the recommendation of my therapist. The Four-Day Win uses the transtheoretical model of change to teach your brain and body to work together so that eating less and moving more becomes natural and ingrained.

I did not do the exercises as I read, as I am the type that has to read all of the instructions before starting something, but now that I have read it, I am excited to start the activities.

So much of what Martha Beck wrote made sense on an innate level. I felt very attuned to the book, especially while comparing my own weight loss experiences.

What I liked most was that she made it clear that just reading the book and doing the 4-day wins were not enough. That part is just preparation for eating less and moving more.

[Patrice · Rating 5 out of 5]

I am still reading this, but dont know how to edit this. I heard lots of positive feedback from others who read it . I will let you know soon.
so I have finished this, it is really a workbook and reflective push for a person. I will keep it handy for rereads, as it is a book to go back to and keep the work going, why we are who we are, what we do and why, whether excercise, diet or relationships. Liked it a great deal, and feel is is a good help for me. The writer is funny, tells it like it is, and herself has struggled and does struggle to do the work of winning. Good book to get yourself as a reward, because you deserve it!

[Traci · Rating 2 out of 5]

To say I actually read this is a bit misleading. I've given up about half-way through. I had high hopes for this title, but really, it's just a "love yourself and you'll lose weight for good!" kind of book. And we've heard that quite often from other people already!

I do like the author's style, and I definitely agree with her that you can't crash diet and keep off the weight. I don't know about all the other advice, as most of it sounded familiar, albeit a bit New-Age for me.

If you need to learn to love yourself and stop the abusive internal dialogue, this might be the book for you. Me, I know I'm wonderful! LOL!

[Kelly · Rating 4 out of 5]

Apparently either one loves Martha Beck or detests her. I have enjoyed all of her books. This allegedly is a "diet" book but 200 pages in I have yet to read a recommendation about exercise or food. Indeed, Beck writes about our interior belief system that affects our relationship with our bodies, our lives, and ultimately our figure. I think that this is a fabulous book for anyone, regardless of where s/he is on the weight continuum. Beck reminds us that it is our interior reality that determines far more than our external circumstances.

[Lychee]

I've enjoyed Beck's previous efforts (Finding Your Own North Star, Steering by Starlight, and The Joy Diet), so although I am not undertaking any kind of effort to end my diet war or achieve thinner peace, I am curious about the four day win approach/tool. Especially now that I'm moving into moonlighting as a life coach, it gives reading self-help books a whole new added layer of analysis.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Generally good, although it does appear to plat seeds for anorexia by recommending that you eat 100 calories less each day until you lose weight and you want notice it after 4 days. This in effect trains the body to starve. There are a minimum number of calories that the body needs regardless of whether weight loss is occurring.

[Robbie Blair · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent book, clever writing, and good strategies. I don't agree with everything Beck has to say, but much of it is valuable. Gripes: Often uses shame-based language for describing fat bodies. Claims studies have found habits form after 21 days, which is completely inaccurate. (Studies have been done; average is 55 days to form.)

[Stephanie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I actually read this 5 or 6 years ago. It is a fascinating way of thinking about your psyche and the more you try to control/bully yourself, the more your sub-conscious will rebel and do what it wants anyway (overeat). It is not just a dieting book, but a way of changing your mind, beyond "bad habits". Really great and life-changing.

[Laila · Rating 4 out of 5]

I didn't make it all the way through this one, but it's something I'm glad that I bought. I can go back when I feel like I need a little reminder. This is a great book if you have emotional eating issues.

[Jennifer · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love this book so far. It is already helping me eat healthier because of asking me to be less ambitious in my eating goals, thus making them attainable and I go well beyond my goal each day. Martha Beck makes me laugh out loud.

[Jacqueline · Rating 3 out of 5]

There were some good things in here, but it was one of those books that I kept plodding along with hoping for inspiration in the next chapter and not finding. It wasn't bad. It just wasn't what I was looking for. When I realized that continuing was like pushing through molasses, I decided to stop.

[Shari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Martha Beck is a very entertaining writer. This book helped set me on my way to permanent weight loss. Not a diet, but truly a way of life. If you're sick of dieting, gaining it back, over and over, try this instead.

[Victoria · Rating 5 out of 5]

She's the horse whisperer of food issues.

[Kimberly Calderon · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Martha Beck! If you haven't read "Finding Your Own North Star," do it! I'm just getting into this one, but it promises to be just as good. I'll check back..

[Denise · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a really cool book. Although it's a diet book, it could really be used in other ways as well.

[Willo · Rating 3 out of 5]

My trainer recommended this to me. Good reminders in here.

[Janet Sorenson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a good book and helped me find a different idea to the stuggle to lose weight. I listened to the book on tape and now I'm reading it. I liked this book.

[Jenive · Rating 5 out of 5]

This self help book extends beyond your relationship with food and can apply to so many other areas of your life. Truly powerful and well written.

[LemontreeLime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Once again, Martha has made sense and made me laugh doing it.

2/13/2012 - just reread this, still hysterically funny and wise!