Is This Normal?: Judgment-Free Straight Talk about Your Body

by Jolene Brighten

A “comprehensive…must-read” (Sara Gottfried, MD, New York Times bestselling author of The Hormone Cure) guide to women’s health from naturopathic physician, bestselling author, and leader in women’s health Dr. Jolene Brighten.

When discussing period pain or mood swings, hormonal imbalance or fertility issues, and all the “down there” concerns, vagina owners everywhere consistently ask their doctors one Is this normal?

Whether it was from her patients or her hundreds of thousands of social media followers, Dr. Jolene Brighten has heard this simple question more times than she can count. With only eighteen states (yes, really) requiring medically accurate sexual education, it’s no wonder that so many have serious questions that need answers.

In Is This Normal?, Dr. Brighten “answers to the often unasked questions along with actionable steps on how to move forward...It’s like having a conversation with your most trusted friend...one that happens to have a medical degree” (Dr. Will Cole, New York Times bestselling author of Intuitive Fasting). TMI isn’t a term in her world. She answers all those “lady parts” questions you’ve always wondered but might not have felt comfortable asking, including topics as wide-ranging as the menstrual cycle, postpartum health, libido, acne, the orgasm gap, and vaginal discharges. No topic is too gross, gooey, or OMG to be off-limits.

Featuring a twenty-eight-day plan to take back your cycle and dozens of charts, checklists, and diagrams that help keep it real while keeping you educated, Is This Normal? is the Our Bodies, Ourselves for the social media generation, and women everywhere will benefit from this honest, easy-to-understand guide to their bodies.

Genres: Nonfiction, Health, Self Help, Science, Medical, Mental Health, Education

473 pages, Kindle Edition

Published April 4, 2023

About the author

Jolene Brighten, ND is a licensed Naturopathic Physician with a specialized clinical focus in autoimmune disease and hormonal health.

Dr. Jolene Brighten earned her doctorate in Naturopathic Medicine from the National College of Natural Medicine in Portland, OR. She received her BS in Nutrition Science and completed graduate coursework in molecular nutrition at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo.

Reviews

[marta the book slayer · Rating 3 out of 5]

overall a good read, however not much new information

[Mary Jackson _TheMaryReader · Rating 5 out of 5]

After reading this book and now rereading it again I can say there is not a better advocate for us women. This book has brought so much to light and helped me in so many ways. Family Doctors just don't know what to do when you are sitting there telling them everything going on with your body. They don't have the answers. I don't want a Band-Aid I want a solution to the problems.
This Book, I mean women's Bible gives you so much information so many solutions you have to read it slowly and take lots of notes. Then reread it.
I gave Is This Normal? 5 stars and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!

[Taylor · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐️ This was very informative if you have any questions about your body, your cycle, your sex life, or female health in general. I love that she highlighted the importance of certain self care techniques such as journaling, mindfulness, boundary setting, and gratitude when it comes to stress reduction. I also loved her normalized and non-disordered approach to nutrition, movement, and body acceptance and her anti-dieting attitude.

[Elizabeth Samuelson · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr. Jolene Brighten delivers once again! This book has a similar vibe to “Beyond the Pill” but more focused on the cycle as a whole. Very approachable, written in an easy to read/question and answer style. If you like reading about women’s hormones and conditions, you’ll enjoy this read!

[LaurenHartwellWhite · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great FAQ about women's bodies!

[Elizabeth Krekeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book, answers every question a female has ever had about her body and is afraid to ask her doctor. This really helps clear up misconceptions women have about their hormones and their cycles. She gives guidance if you suspect a hormonal imbalance and how to bring it up to your provider to get it looked at. Every woman should read this book.

The author has a podcast as well, so educational

[AnnaKate Hawkins · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the best book about women’s health I’ve ever read. EVERYONE including men should read this!

Also why is this not taught in schools ughhhh

[Jayda Olak · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ladies…. My hormones. Are. Balanced. Thank you Dr.Brighton. Amen.

[Hordos M · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where was this book when I was growing up? I could have used it in high school. Not only did it answer all the questions I have, it also answered the questions I didn’t know I had. The information is far from basic, without being overly clinical/sterile. It is a wonder none of this is taught in basic health classes. I appreciate the author’s charts, tables, checklists, quizzes, and all the visual aids she provided to make this easy to understand and relevant to me, rather than just a bunch of interesting facts. And yes, it has a ton of interesting facts. But what I found most helpful was the guidance on my hormones. I appreciate it isn’t just a medication or supplement only book and instead, the author gives many easily accessible food and lifestyle tools to balance hormones. I also think the libido information is a must know by everyone. I found myself saying yes out loud numerous times because it felt like she was speaking just to me. I’ll be telling everyone about this book and will definitely be re-reading sections of it, maybe even out loud to my partner.

[Jessie Sullivan · Rating 4 out of 5]

*throws this book at my (future) daughter and runs away*

[Chris Boutté · Rating 5 out of 5]

I’m going to start this review with a confession. I saw this book, thought it was about body positivity, and grabbed a copy. To my surprise, this book is all about the female body, but it was really good, so I kept on reading. If you’re a woman (or just want to learn about the female body) this is a fantastic book. I don’t think there’s a topic that Dr. Jolene Brighten doesn’t cover in this extensive book.

The book covers an insane amount of topics involving female body parts and what’s “normal” or when it’s time to see a doctor. A lot of this book is about sex as well. The last part of the book is her 28-day plan, which gives tips for diet, exercise, supplements, and mental health.

One thing I do want to mention is that this book’s target audience is heterosexual women who were born female. I just wanted to mention that because some other books I’ve read on sex and bodies are a bit more inclusive, and even if they don’t include trans women, they discuss more topics for people within the LGBTQ community. I don’t necessarily think this is a bad thing, but it’s good information to know up front.

This was an excellent book, and I know far more about the female body than I ever thought I would.

[Sophia · Rating 4 out of 5]

From the dedication page: “To those who have ever felt the need to explore the Internet, bookshelves, or thoughts of their friends in a quest to understand what’s normal. May this book provide the answers you’re looking for and a plethora of interesting conversation pieces.”

A wonderful book that compiles the questions those female-bodied may have and dives into topics that go beyond what my middle school health class covered and what should be universally taught! Have already recommended to others and will likely return to myself in the future, especially for the helpful 28-day program shared at the end of the book.

If you read, this book will also likely make you mad for studies noting the poor treatment of women and minorities throughout medical history and our lack of inclusion in textbooks and research. I’m grateful for books like these, so we can educate ourselves on our bodies, something that unfortunately has been and is still taboo.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book, but honestly had no idea what I was jumping into — I must not have read the blurb and for some reason thought it was random questions for any body. This is primarily a book for females and the never-ending questions that come along with changing bodies.

I thought it felt inclusive, non-judgmental and answered a lot of questions that I didn’t realize I was curious about!

I appreciated the specific information of possible supplements and the information surrounding that.

[Amy · Rating 4 out of 5]

To be honest, I just picked through this book to see which parts reply to me. I’m pretty sure that everybody does that with books like this and don’t read them cover to cover, but the information that I did find was very good and it answered some of the questions that I didn’t even know I had. The author was also entertaining. She took what could be a dry subject and made it engaging.

[Darby · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every woman should read this. Dr. Brighten gives a thorough overview of women’s health as well as tactical guidance for balancing your hormones. I am going to go buy a copy to keep at home for reference throughout my life, it’s seriously THAT great.

[Katie Cunningham · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciate the idea of this book around the question “Is this normal?” There are a few helpful resources and informative things, but I disagree with a lot that the author discussed morally and she talked mostly about sex. I just think there are better resources.

[Amanda · Rating 4 out of 5]

The information on hormones and cycles was really useful and interesting. There is so much in here that should be better communicated with girls and women more proactively to avoid health issues down the line.

[Maegan Dougherty · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every single woman should have this information! Soooooo beneficial!

[Noel نوال · Rating 4 out of 5]

I love the way this is organized and how the information is relayed. I actually learned a few new things which is always great.

[Alison Miron · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was so good!! So glad a book like this exists. I wish I could absorb and memorize all the information shared but certainly gives a solid starting point.

[Lauren Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Love some good GYN knowledge

[Jessica · Rating 3 out of 5]

TMI info but helpful

[Paul · Rating 5 out of 5]

Informative, a great reference book. Written in a concise, informal voice but addressing a wide breadth of topics. A great read for caring partners, husbands, and fathers.

[Lindsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a love/hate relationship with health books for the general population. On the one hand, I absolutely think that reducing shame with more information about how human bodies actually work is critical to both individual health and public policy. On the other hand, there are so many doctors that oversimplify complex diagnoses and have a huge financial incentive to sell their branded supplements.

Aaaand... *checks internet* sure thing, Dr. Brighten has a whole lineup of (very expensive) supplements (e.g. her prenatal vitamins are twice the cost of my OTC brand name ones and appear to have the same ingredients) and moderately costly recorded talks. It's possible this is a commitment to quality but it's hard to distinguish it from a passive income motivation.

The first two thirds of this book is fairly firmly in the shame-reducing territory, which makes reading the book worthwhile. Her approach throughout the book is to help the reader destress from the idea of being judged for variation that is completely normal and also to know what signs to discuss with your personal health care team. I've deliberately sought out some of this information over the years and still learned quite a bit about the range of "normal" in the female body from this read. For anyone subjected to "abstinence only" sex ed, this is a great place to start learning more about how female bodies really work and the high variability therein.

I'd love to know what a panel of endocrinologists thinks of this book. I'm not convinced from the minimal evidence here* that the diet/supplement plans she suggests would be effective. I was surprised to find a complete lack of information on pregnant or postpartum bodies, which seems like it would fall within the book's purview. I also found it difficult to put together any kind of effective plan from all the information here; the last chapter attempts to do this, in conjunction with one of the appendices, but trying to keep track of which cycle days are which (highly variable between individuals and even between months), when to take which supplements (often different times of day with different meals and dependent on symptoms), and when to emphasize which nutrients (e.g. meal planning) quickly becomes a full time job. I do appreciate Brighten's commitment to not endorsing a one-size-fits-all approach but there needs to be some kind of interactive monthly planning tool to make this actually useful.

Ultimately, this book confirms what I've picked up from the majority of credible health books: get enough sleep, get good quality sleep, do a mix of resistance and aerobic exercise, eat a wide range of vegetables and high quality proteins, get regular medical check ups, see a therapist, reduce your stress and inflammation. Also, push your medical professionals for more tests; after all, you're paying for them and you deserve answers. The diets/supplements specific to certain parts of the menstrual cycle may or may not be worth the hassle; I'm not sure I could make a coherent plan from this information to test it for myself.

I would recommend this to female readers with the caveat to read it with a critical eye and explore other sources of information on the same topics.

*Update: after writing this review, I realized that my ebook was still only at 70-something percent. Upon further investigation, AFTER the author bio, there is an extensive reference section, organized by chapter. The long wait list at my library means I read this piecemeal (read: 4 separate sessions, each 8-ish weeks apart) and had forgotten the higher density of references in the earlier chapters, where Dr. Brighten is careful to use terminology like "linked to" or "play a role". I'm bumping the star rating from 3 to 4 for this, as she has a high ratio of studies to news articles referenced. Please note, I am not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, so I cannot make any statement about whether these sources were used and interpreted correctly.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heard this author on a podcast discussing hormones and so picked this up. Surprise: the whole first section is really just about sex; the hormones _do_ come in in Part 2! Very interesting info about the interaction of our daily activities (diet, exercise, stress, etc) and hormones. Should probably be common sense, but you've got to hear it somewhere.

[Shaina Arb]

Love this doctor and her mindset on all things female body. She’s really great at explaining hormones and pros and cons of treatments.

[Jade Driscoll · Rating 5 out of 5]

I recommend this book without hesitation. I'm fairly selective in the nonfiction I read because processing real-world information takes more mental energy than even the most complex work of fiction, but even when it took me a while to read through certain sections, I was engaged with the content. There were several times where I started getting mad at myself for not already knowing some of the info I was reading, but then I stopped to remember... if I already knew everything, why would I be reading this anyway? Dr. Brighten does a great job explaining things--even the "common sense" things--in a straightforward manner that is informative without being pedantic. I was extremely apprehensive before starting this book, and while this book certainly hasn't solved all my problems, it was a significantly better resource than I had dared to hope.

Most importantly, this book was super body- and gender-inclusive. I'm often weary of medical nonfiction because while my race is often represented in studies, most of my other identities are not. Historically, anyway. But Dr. Brighten acknowledges that no two bodies are identical, and "normal" is often a range, not a set thing. Her advice was extremely queer-inclusive (she both acknowledged and validated asexuality, which I've hardly ever seen before!! she used body terms over gendered terms, meaning advice was intentionally for people with uteruses, people with vulvas, etc.!!), ability-accommodating (there was a whole subsection about exercises and sex toys for people with physical disabilities!!), neurodivergent-friendly (the effects that undiagnosed and/or untreated ADHD or ASD can have on your body were mentioned several times!!), body-positive (several sections had reminders that being overweight or obese does not mean you "invited" any hormone imbalances, diseases, etc. into your life!!), racially-diverse (research findings that only surveyed white folks were called out to be taken with several grains of salt!!) and aware that mental and emotional health are just as if not more important than physical health. She wasn't trying to sell anything; she'd share her opinions and recommendations, of course, but she ultimately concluded most sections with something along the lines of, "different things work better for different people; personalize this advice collaboratively with your care provider." And most of the heavy opinions she shared weren't pushing certain products, either; she generally leaned toward natural solutions (diet changes (NOT "dieting") such as eating more veggies, getting better sleep, seeking therapy, etc.) over pharmaceutical/synthetic solutions. She was also honest about when her own biases were popping into her advice, which made her discussion of things she didn't personally recommend (most frequently, The Pill) seem even more genuine: she really does maintain that there isn't One Right Way to have a body.

The book ends with an explanation of her "28-day program" for tracking your menstrual cycle (not just period), and while I haven't done that to speak to its effectiveness (my library book was already overdue and I feel rather guilty about that), my skimming was thorough enough to see that the advice still stuck to natural remedies and listening to your own body over seeking an ideal body or static goal. But I still learned a lot in reading this book, and I'm really grateful I read it.

[AMAO · Rating 5 out of 5]

Is This Normal?: Judgment-Free Straight Talk about Your Body
by Dr. Jolene Brighten NMD

Where was this bible when I hemorrhaging in pain every month wishing for death for more than four decades?! Outside of some heavy duty pain pills only a hysterectomy was given as an option. This doctor needs to be cloned for real! I got triggered through some of her accounts that took me back to some real jacked up visits with GYN, PC and Mental Health Practitioners. Navigating the healthcare system on my own as a Black female from my teens was aggravating AF. No one ever suggested all the holistic interventions/preventions or supplements that were mentioned in this Bible. In fact, the first time the only time a shrink suggested I start taking Omega-3 supplements and nature walks.

It took another ACODF episode, that triggered another long overdue break down to get these suggestions during my first year of Grad School from the campus shrink! The same suggestions mentioned in this Bible. Never was I advised from any other shrink/practitioner before or since. I was in my 30s! (Shout out to Dr. Friedman of University at Albany) Let me get out of dissertation length mode and just say this is a #MUSTREAD for preteens to us folks who are menopausing. The book is heavy meaning thick but if I LMAO at this style of truth and fact telling with humor delivery! I did the audiobook and there were way too many rewind and play again one liners... A lot of this info I believe should be included in the "talk" with your or a child. The talk that many of us never got. I learned a lot of info that I can apply even now and the website is flooded with even more guidance. I recommend this for pre-teens on up for any gender. I sure wish I had this as our text book for my first undergrad health course. This was so well done!


When discussing period pain or mood swings, hormonal imbalance or fertility issues, and all the “down there” concerns, vagina owners everywhere consistently ask their doctors one thing: Is this normal?

Whether it was from her patients or her hundreds of thousands of social media followers, Dr. Jolene Brighten has heard this simple question more times than she can count. With only eighteen states (yes, really) requiring medically accurate sexual education, it’s no wonder that so many have serious questions that need answers.

In Is This Normal?, Dr. Brighten “answers to the often unasked questions along with actionable steps on how to move forward...It’s like having a conversation with your most trusted friend...one that happens to have a medical degree” (Dr. Will Cole, New York Times bestselling author of Intuitive Fasting). TMI isn’t a term in her world. She answers all those “lady parts” questions you’ve always wondered but might not have felt comfortable asking, including topics as wide-ranging as the menstrual cycle, postpartum health, libido, acne, the orgasm gap, and vaginal discharges. No topic is too gross, gooey, or OMG to be off-limits.

Featuring a twenty-eight-day plan to take back your cycle and dozens of charts, checklists, and diagrams that help keep it real while keeping you educated, Is This Normal? is the Our Bodies, Ourselves for the social media generation, and women everywhere will benefit from this honest, easy-to-understand guide to their bodies.

[Lynn-Sarah P · Rating 5 out of 5]

As I was passing by the books in my library, I became compelled to pick up and read this book. Any woman who has ever gone to the doctors for an issue relating to their physical and mental health is often made out to be hysterical and attention-seeking. I, for one, have experience with dealing with a problem and frequently asking others, "Is this normal?" to which they will reply, "Yes". It got to the point where I had to take action, and when I finally did, I got the diagnosis that I was looking for.

The education system has failed us in providing the proper understanding of sex education. For the longest time, I lacked the appropriate knowledge of not only the functioning of my body because of hormones, periods, etc, but I also had a massive fear of sexually transmitted infections. Since that's all they speak of "STDs" during the PowerPoint presentations. From someone whose culture deems sex as taboo, and there's rarely ever a conversation about it, it prompted me to pick this book up even more. I knew after learning about my diagnosis that it became my responsibility to learn more about my body and the ways I can take proper care of it.

This book not only discusses the anatomy of women but also recommends various books to broaden one's knowledge of things that are left unspoken. While reading, I made sure to write down notes in my document for me to use in times of need and to follow the 28-day program. Anyone can also read it, so I'd advise you to do so.

[Daniel · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had never heard of Dr. Jolene Brighten before reading is this normal? I found the book very interesting to read.

Each chapter asks a question like is my Menstrual cycle normal normal and then the author writes a little about the subject and then there are questions she answers. In the menstrual cycle chapter one of the questions was is it normal if I have a 28 day cycle?

There is also a lot more than questions and answers. Sometimes there are quizzes and illustrations of body parts.

The last part of the book is her 28 day program. which talks something like low estrogen and then gives solutions on how to fix it.

Even though I am not a woman there are two things I hope I remember from the book. One was from the 28 day program. Praise yourself where she says to write down why you rock. Personally I don't do much of praising myself. So I hope to praise myself more.

And another thing she wrote was to chew your food and then when you think you have chewed it enough chew more. And then she explain why to chew your food. I am not sure on what page she said that. And it made me think gee I don't chew my food. I pretty much just swallow it. So I will try to chew my food more.

Anyway there there is a lot of interesting information about women's body's in Is this normal? And it was a pretty good read.