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Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances
This powerful memoir from a #1 New York Times bestselling author and Newbery Medalist features poetry, letters, recipes, and other personal artifacts that provide an intimate look into his life and the loved ones he shares it with.
In an intimate and non-traditional (or "new-fashioned") memoir, Kwame Alexander shares snapshots of a man learning how to love. He takes us through stories of his from being awkward newlyweds in the sticky Chicago summer of 1967, to the sometimes-confusing ways they showed their love to each other, and for him. He explores his own relationships—his difficulties as a newly wedded, 22-year-old father, and the precariousness of his early marriage working in a jazz club with his second wife. Alexander attempts to deal with the unravelling of his marriage and the grief of his mother's recent passing while sharing the solace he found in learning how to perfect her famous fried chicken dish. With an open heart, Alexander weaves together memories of his past to try and understand his greatest his daughters.
Full of heartfelt reminisces, family recipes, love poems, and personal letters, Why Fathers Cry at Night inspires bravery and vulnerability in every reader who has experienced the reckless passion, heartbreak, failure, and joy that define the whirlwind woes and wonders of love.
In an intimate and non-traditional (or "new-fashioned") memoir, Kwame Alexander shares snapshots of a man learning how to love. He takes us through stories of his from being awkward newlyweds in the sticky Chicago summer of 1967, to the sometimes-confusing ways they showed their love to each other, and for him. He explores his own relationships—his difficulties as a newly wedded, 22-year-old father, and the precariousness of his early marriage working in a jazz club with his second wife. Alexander attempts to deal with the unravelling of his marriage and the grief of his mother's recent passing while sharing the solace he found in learning how to perfect her famous fried chicken dish. With an open heart, Alexander weaves together memories of his past to try and understand his greatest his daughters.
Full of heartfelt reminisces, family recipes, love poems, and personal letters, Why Fathers Cry at Night inspires bravery and vulnerability in every reader who has experienced the reckless passion, heartbreak, failure, and joy that define the whirlwind woes and wonders of love.
225 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 23, 2023
153 people are currently reading
3672 people want to read
About the author
Kwame Alexander
82 books3,147 followersKwame Alexander is a poet, educator, and New York Times Bestselling author of 21 books, including The Crossover, which received the 2015 John Newbery Medal for the Most Distinguished Contribution to American literature for Children, the Coretta Scott King Author Award Honor, The NCTE Charlotte Huck Honor, the Lee Bennett Hopkins Poetry Award, and the Passaic Poetry Prize. Kwame writes for children of all ages. His other works include Surf's Up, a picture book; Booked, a middle grade novel; and He Said She Said, a YA novel.
Kwame believes that poetry can change the world, and he uses it to inspire and empower young people through his PAGE TO STAGE Writing and Publishing Program released by Scholastic. A regular speaker at colleges and conferences in the U.S., he also travels the world planting seeds of literary love (Singapore, Brazil, Italy, France, Shanghai, etc.). Recently, Alexander led a delegation of 20 writers and activists to Ghana, where they delivered books, built a library, and provided literacy professional development to 300 teachers, as a part of LEAP for Ghana, an International literacy program he co-founded.
Kwame believes that poetry can change the world, and he uses it to inspire and empower young people through his PAGE TO STAGE Writing and Publishing Program released by Scholastic. A regular speaker at colleges and conferences in the U.S., he also travels the world planting seeds of literary love (Singapore, Brazil, Italy, France, Shanghai, etc.). Recently, Alexander led a delegation of 20 writers and activists to Ghana, where they delivered books, built a library, and provided literacy professional development to 300 teachers, as a part of LEAP for Ghana, an International literacy program he co-founded.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 414 reviews
July 28, 2024
This memoir was incredible! I can’t even lie to y’all, this brought tears to my eyes a few times. The way Kwame laid out the poems, notes to his family, the recipes to family dishes, it’s all very nostalgic. It really hit home because a lot of who I am is directly related to food lol. I’ve never really been into poetry but I will be after reading this book. I’m not a father yet but this really gave me insight into what black fathers think and how most of what we do is passed down from the people before us. There are no excuses but there are lessons & things that can only be learned through experience. I absolutely loved this book and will probably read it again in the near future.
I’d definitely give this book a smoooothhh 4.5 ⭐️!
I’d definitely give this book a smoooothhh 4.5 ⭐️!
March 17, 2024
Why Fathers Cry at Night is Kwame Alexander’s memoir. I should say right off, I should say right off I rarely read memoirs but, when I saw this on Netgalley, I was intrigued by the subtitle, A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances. Using all of these, Alexander reminisces about his efforts to reconnect with his radical dad, his marriage and divorce but mostly about his love for many of the women who have been influences in his life, his mother and his grief when she died, his ex-wife, his daughter and for Nikki Giovanni, his teacher at university and later his friend. This is a fast read but it is also raw, profound, and powerful, one that will stay with the reader, a beautiful book which will, no doubt, be read over and over again, providing new insights with each reading.
Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown, and Company for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review
Thanks to Netgalley and Little, Brown, and Company for the opportunity to read this book in exchange for an honest review
April 24, 2023
Thanks to NetGalley and Little, Brown, and Company for access to this title. I am auto-approved for Little, Brown, and Company. All opinions expressed are my own.
A truly memorable memoir because as the title suggests it is a compilation of love poems, recipes, and letters. There are no cons to mention.
Expected Publication Date: 23/05/23
Goodreads review published 24/04/23
A truly memorable memoir because as the title suggests it is a compilation of love poems, recipes, and letters. There are no cons to mention.
Expected Publication Date: 23/05/23
Goodreads review published 24/04/23
July 8, 2023
This review can also be found at https://carolesrandomlife.com/
This was not the kind of book that I would normally pick up but I am glad that I did. I think that it is good to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time and try something new. It keeps things interesting and allows me to see how my tastes may have changed. If you had told me that I would enjoy a book that contained a fair amount of poetry, I wouldn’t have believed you but that is exactly what happened. I found this to be a rather enjoyable read overall.
This was an interesting collection of letters, poems, recipes, and essays that came together to tell a story of love. I probably haven’t read any poems since I was in school and they forced it upon me (unless you count the occasional greeting card, which I do not). These were so much better than the poems that I remember and I loved the way that they came together to tell a story. We see the author’s childhood, his relationship with his parents, the love he had for his wives even if the marriages ended in divorce, and the love he has for his daughters. I really liked how the author included recipes since we often share our love through food. I am glad that I took a chance and decided to give this one a try.
I received a review copy of this book from Little, Brown and Company.
This was not the kind of book that I would normally pick up but I am glad that I did. I think that it is good to step outside of your comfort zone from time to time and try something new. It keeps things interesting and allows me to see how my tastes may have changed. If you had told me that I would enjoy a book that contained a fair amount of poetry, I wouldn’t have believed you but that is exactly what happened. I found this to be a rather enjoyable read overall.
This was an interesting collection of letters, poems, recipes, and essays that came together to tell a story of love. I probably haven’t read any poems since I was in school and they forced it upon me (unless you count the occasional greeting card, which I do not). These were so much better than the poems that I remember and I loved the way that they came together to tell a story. We see the author’s childhood, his relationship with his parents, the love he had for his wives even if the marriages ended in divorce, and the love he has for his daughters. I really liked how the author included recipes since we often share our love through food. I am glad that I took a chance and decided to give this one a try.
I received a review copy of this book from Little, Brown and Company.
August 15, 2023
No Thanks
I was excited about the concept of a non-traditional memoir. It turned out to be a struggle for me. It felt like nonsensical ramblings. There was no fluidity to the delivery. I spent the whole time feeling like I was intruding on someone’s personal journal entries. I felt like this must’ve been therapeutic for Alexander, but that it was only meant for his eyes. Only he could make sense of it. The poetry was not good. The recipes seemed unnecessary. I guess I wanted this to be presented to my own liking, but clearly it was written solely for the author’s healing.
I was excited about the concept of a non-traditional memoir. It turned out to be a struggle for me. It felt like nonsensical ramblings. There was no fluidity to the delivery. I spent the whole time feeling like I was intruding on someone’s personal journal entries. I felt like this must’ve been therapeutic for Alexander, but that it was only meant for his eyes. Only he could make sense of it. The poetry was not good. The recipes seemed unnecessary. I guess I wanted this to be presented to my own liking, but clearly it was written solely for the author’s healing.
April 13, 2023
Kwame Alexander never disappoints. In this memoir collection of poems, musings, and recipes, we're given insight into who and how Kwame loves. He weaves intimate details into small moments and you find yourself lost in the relationships. I loved how easily Alexander travels between then and now, showcasing what he learned of love from his parents, how his mom's passing changed his understanding of love, and why grief is also a form of love. He demonstrates the complications presented when love is changing, growing, and ending. The style is also impressive because being able to balance stories, poems, and recipes in a way that feels fluid and cohesive is not an easy task. However, I found myself following it and understanding the role each has in its chosen place.
I appreciated the raw honesty Alexander showed. It is not often we see men taking vulnerable stances or exposing their feelings, especially in relation to relationships and inner-healing. I liked seeing the process of accepting love, learning how to love, learning to let go of lost love, and healing through self-love.
I highly recommend this collection. It's heartfelt, vulnerable, and expansive. There is something for everyone, regardless of their feelings towards love. Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for the ARC in exchange for my review.
I appreciated the raw honesty Alexander showed. It is not often we see men taking vulnerable stances or exposing their feelings, especially in relation to relationships and inner-healing. I liked seeing the process of accepting love, learning how to love, learning to let go of lost love, and healing through self-love.
I highly recommend this collection. It's heartfelt, vulnerable, and expansive. There is something for everyone, regardless of their feelings towards love. Thank you to NetGalley and Little, Brown and Company for the ARC in exchange for my review.
May 24, 2023
Kwame Alexander, a celebrated writer of books for young adults, presents a sweet and raw account of his path to adulthood in “Why Fathers Cry at Night.”
“This is not a traditional memoir,” he confesses at the opening. “These are just snapshots of a man learning to love.” But it’s more than that — and more artful, too. Interspersed between family recipes and a number of his moving poems, Alexander describes his demanding father, his own two failed marriages and his challenges with his daughters.
He also traces the surprising route of his literary success, which began by self-publishing more than a dozen books.
Among the memoir’s many treasures is a funny section about his long-running feud with the poet Nikki Giovanni, who knew nothing about his acrimony until after it faded into friendship.
“This is not a traditional memoir,” he confesses at the opening. “These are just snapshots of a man learning to love.” But it’s more than that — and more artful, too. Interspersed between family recipes and a number of his moving poems, Alexander describes his demanding father, his own two failed marriages and his challenges with his daughters.
He also traces the surprising route of his literary success, which began by self-publishing more than a dozen books.
Among the memoir’s many treasures is a funny section about his long-running feud with the poet Nikki Giovanni, who knew nothing about his acrimony until after it faded into friendship.
June 13, 2023
I admire Kwame Alexander and I will always read everything he writes. But this was a weird book. I get that he’s excavating love and being vulnerable, but I just don’t think that his daughters (or his readers? I didn’t) want to know about his past sex life. I don’t want to know that about my parents and I don’t think knowing about my sex life would be enlightening for my children a long time from now. He writes about all kinds of love and I liked the parts about his grandma and his mom and the family recipes he learned. But the coda really lost me. A conversation with yourself? For other people to read? I think this book is narcissistic and I don’t think it’s very good. Sorry, Mr. Alexander.
August 31, 2023
What a weird little book. As a middle school teacher, I’m well versed in Kwame Alexander (see what I did there?). For years I’ve used “The Crossover” and “Booked” to trick reluctant readers and poetry haters to love the written word. Therefore, I couldn’t resist a memoir (for adults) by Kwame Alexander! And a title like “Why Fathers Cry at Night”? Count me in.
But this memoir-poetry collection-cookbook was just painfully awkward (or “cringe,” as my middle school students would say). It’s like Kwame never heard of the concept of “over sharing” (he seems to admit so in the epilogue). Why in the world would you describe the sensual details of your sex life to your daughters? Why would you write a whole essay that is a conversation with yourself? Being vulnerable is one thing . . . this is another thing.
Most of the poems are “meh.” None of them are quite as fun as the poems in his kids books. Some of the essays were interesting (I particularly liked the one about Nikki Giovanni). The recipes . . . just seem out of place?
Good for Kwame for branching out . . . but maybe return to form next time?
But this memoir-poetry collection-cookbook was just painfully awkward (or “cringe,” as my middle school students would say). It’s like Kwame never heard of the concept of “over sharing” (he seems to admit so in the epilogue). Why in the world would you describe the sensual details of your sex life to your daughters? Why would you write a whole essay that is a conversation with yourself? Being vulnerable is one thing . . . this is another thing.
Most of the poems are “meh.” None of them are quite as fun as the poems in his kids books. Some of the essays were interesting (I particularly liked the one about Nikki Giovanni). The recipes . . . just seem out of place?
Good for Kwame for branching out . . . but maybe return to form next time?
March 3, 2023
Even when Kwame Alexander writes in prose form, the words are music to my ears. Why Fathers Cry at Night is a memoir, recipe book, family history, poetry collection and beautifully rendered written record of the life of a father - from the late 60's to today.
This book will change you - in some way. I challenge you to read it , to read the poems aloud, to ruminate on the prose, and to try the recipes. I believe it will bring joy to your life! Kwame shares his own life in a way that allows the reader to consider their own joyful existence.
#LittleBrownCompany #WhyFathersCryAtNight #KwameAlexander
This book will change you - in some way. I challenge you to read it , to read the poems aloud, to ruminate on the prose, and to try the recipes. I believe it will bring joy to your life! Kwame shares his own life in a way that allows the reader to consider their own joyful existence.
#LittleBrownCompany #WhyFathersCryAtNight #KwameAlexander
August 10, 2023
Hooooooly buckets! People are so complex! What a dive into vulnerability and raw emotion and honestly just very bold for writing down and sharing with the world. Unabashed. Heart wrenching and real and makes me want to listen and love even better.
“You are not a grown man. You are a growing man” and honestly yes he is!!!!!!! And you know what so am I!!!!!!!!
Yes I read it in 2 hours no bathroom breaks or anything!!!!!!
Also I want to call my dad but I know I know I know
“You are not a grown man. You are a growing man” and honestly yes he is!!!!!!! And you know what so am I!!!!!!!!
Yes I read it in 2 hours no bathroom breaks or anything!!!!!!
Also I want to call my dad but I know I know I know
July 6, 2023
Well this was heart-wrenching. And also beautiful.
Loved the structure for this "new-fashioned" memoir. Had to check it out after hearing the author on an NPR interview. The book definitely processes a lot, without concrete resolutions, but plenty of hope.
A great book to study for any writer.
Loved the structure for this "new-fashioned" memoir. Had to check it out after hearing the author on an NPR interview. The book definitely processes a lot, without concrete resolutions, but plenty of hope.
A great book to study for any writer.
June 3, 2023
Fully Kwame and yet something fully different, this book is was a masterpiece in how to write a book that is as full of questions as it is of answers. Kwame's story doesn't focus so much on his success as a children's writer (although he shares that this was not his original plan and path). It focuses on the love he has known in his life (his mother, his exes), the love that is complicated (his father) and the love that he extends (his daughters)
There are recipes of foods that he associates with an individual. There are lists and wishes, the good memories and the bad memories. Kwame is refreshingly honest with how he has screwed up. How he has so much left to learn. He thanks those who have impacted him from authors like Nikki Giovanni and Jacqueline Woodson as well which is a great touch.
The title is deceptive because admittedly, I was expecting something racial. And indeed it could be. But my takeaway is Kwame loves being a father and the growing up of his daughters, the changing seasons, is why he cries at night. Both tears of joy and tears of sadness. As a parent, I resonate with this so hard. SO hard.
I'm glad I read this. Yes there were moments I didn't love the free verse/prose style in a memoir genre, but as I started this review, it's Kwame....who cares?
There are recipes of foods that he associates with an individual. There are lists and wishes, the good memories and the bad memories. Kwame is refreshingly honest with how he has screwed up. How he has so much left to learn. He thanks those who have impacted him from authors like Nikki Giovanni and Jacqueline Woodson as well which is a great touch.
The title is deceptive because admittedly, I was expecting something racial. And indeed it could be. But my takeaway is Kwame loves being a father and the growing up of his daughters, the changing seasons, is why he cries at night. Both tears of joy and tears of sadness. As a parent, I resonate with this so hard. SO hard.
I'm glad I read this. Yes there were moments I didn't love the free verse/prose style in a memoir genre, but as I started this review, it's Kwame....who cares?
March 18, 2023
Gorgeous! A mix of prose and poetry with recipes along the way, Kwame Alexander is masterful with his words!
December 1, 2024
Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances by Kwame Alexander (Author & Narrator)
Synopsis: This is a powerful memoir from #1 New York Times bestselling author and Newbery Medalist, Kwame Alexander. In an intimate and non-traditional (or "new-fashioned") memoir, Alexander shares snapshots of a man learning how to love. He takes us through stories of his parents and the sometimes confusing ways they showed their love to each other, and for him. He explores his own relationships and his difficulties as a newly wedded, 22-year-old father. Alexander attempts to deal with the unraveling of his marriage and the grief of his mother's recent passing while sharing the solace he finds in learning how to perfect her famous dishes. With an open heart, He weaves together memories of his past to understand his greatest love: his daughters.
My thoughts: I really enjoyed reading this book. The author’s narrative style is super creative and welcoming. His journey is easy to follow and the story’s theme of forgiveness runs throughout the story, which I really appreciated. I picked this book trying to step outside of my comfort zone, and I’m so glad I did! If someone would’ve told me that I’d enjoy a book filled with poetry, I would have been skeptical, but I really loved this story. Kwame’s inclusion of family recipes is a nice touch to the book- it’s a creative way to show love through food, which I absolutely loved. Deep and honest reflections from the author make this a compelling read. It’s a beautiful blend of memoirs, poetry, recipes, and letters, all while reflecting on the ups and downs of life. At its core, this is a story about learning to love and forgive ourselves unconditionally.
I am glad that I decided to give this one a try. It was an overall enjoyable read, I would definitely call it a must-read. My star ⭐️ rating 5/5
Synopsis: This is a powerful memoir from #1 New York Times bestselling author and Newbery Medalist, Kwame Alexander. In an intimate and non-traditional (or "new-fashioned") memoir, Alexander shares snapshots of a man learning how to love. He takes us through stories of his parents and the sometimes confusing ways they showed their love to each other, and for him. He explores his own relationships and his difficulties as a newly wedded, 22-year-old father. Alexander attempts to deal with the unraveling of his marriage and the grief of his mother's recent passing while sharing the solace he finds in learning how to perfect her famous dishes. With an open heart, He weaves together memories of his past to understand his greatest love: his daughters.
My thoughts: I really enjoyed reading this book. The author’s narrative style is super creative and welcoming. His journey is easy to follow and the story’s theme of forgiveness runs throughout the story, which I really appreciated. I picked this book trying to step outside of my comfort zone, and I’m so glad I did! If someone would’ve told me that I’d enjoy a book filled with poetry, I would have been skeptical, but I really loved this story. Kwame’s inclusion of family recipes is a nice touch to the book- it’s a creative way to show love through food, which I absolutely loved. Deep and honest reflections from the author make this a compelling read. It’s a beautiful blend of memoirs, poetry, recipes, and letters, all while reflecting on the ups and downs of life. At its core, this is a story about learning to love and forgive ourselves unconditionally.
I am glad that I decided to give this one a try. It was an overall enjoyable read, I would definitely call it a must-read. My star ⭐️ rating 5/5
May 6, 2023
I feel kind of bummed out knowing all this personal stuff
about Kwame Alexander’s self-perceived failures and shortcomings, but written in the clever and voluptuous Kwame Alexander style. I dunno how to take it when such a loveable writer reveals that he actually sucks just like a normal person. But in such a charming way!
about Kwame Alexander’s self-perceived failures and shortcomings, but written in the clever and voluptuous Kwame Alexander style. I dunno how to take it when such a loveable writer reveals that he actually sucks just like a normal person. But in such a charming way!
June 12, 2025
This was an odd collection of memoir/poems/cookbook recipes & nonsensical streams of thought. Much like the author’s stance on “fatherhood being a beautiful mess”, this was also a beautiful mess. 40% beautiful & 60% mess.
Concepts were thrown together and then weaved together with poetry and then unnecessary recipes that didn’t quite fit the narrative
Concepts were thrown together and then weaved together with poetry and then unnecessary recipes that didn’t quite fit the narrative
June 11, 2023
Kwame Alexander is a talented writer, and this memoir (of sorts) is beautiful - a unique combination of love poetry, recipes, and reflections on his parents and his own relationships. “From the second we’re born, the experience with food is connected to being held, the warmth of our mother’s skin, her soothing voice … Later, as adults, the ritual of breaking bread around a table is how we share the things that matter most with the people who matter most to us.”
November 30, 2023
Audio is definitely the way to go with this book!
July 6, 2025
This short book was read by the author in the Audible version. It has a ton of feelings included, as well as some recipes and a lot of poetry.
In some ways, this book is Afrocentric. But in more ways, it is human centric.
In some ways, this book is Afrocentric. But in more ways, it is human centric.
August 29, 2023
I was caught off-guard by how emotional this book would make me, a “growing” man without any children. But, in many ways, Kwame writes a thoughtful and honest reflection on being a son, a friend, a partner. I would read this again.
September 4, 2023
Beautiful poetry you can feel in your body. I savored this memoir.
January 30, 2025
Book club read. Interesting biography. Really creative writing style (poetry, cooking, memoir)
July 26, 2024
My parents gave this to me. I think they were trying to guilt me into coming home.
March 7, 2023
Have you ever finished a book and found yourself thinking "I want to read it again?"
This was my experience with Kwame Alexander's remarkable "Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Recipes, Letters, and Remembrances."
While it is not rare for me to love a book, it is rather rare for a book to fully immerse me in its universe. This is precisely what happened with "Why Fathers Cry at Night," a "new-fashioned" memoir that so fully bathes us in the exhilarations and exhaustions of love that I was in awe of every word, every emotion, every recipe (Yes, there are really recipes here!), and every memory that Alexander brings so vividly to life.
"Why Fathers Cry at Night" is stunning in its simplicity and intimacy, beautifully portraying a man's journey toward learning how to love. Alexander recalls stories of his parents, stories both heard and observed. He explores his own relationships, successes and failures and successes that became failures. There's a palpable sense of grief as he attempts to make sense of the unravelling of his second marriage and deal with his mother's recent passing even as he finds coping in learning how to perfect her famous fried chicken dish. Alexander weaves a tapestry of relationships that have brought him into the now, relationships that helped him define love even he begins to realize that, just perhaps, he's never really learned how to love himself. Alexander eloquently takes us on a journey through his relationships with his daughters both past and present, relationships that continue even as his own relationship with love has changed.
I say this seldom, but there's never a weak moment in "Why Fathers Cry at Night." Full of heartfelt reminisces, family recipes, love poems, and personal letters, "Why Fathers Cry at Night" gives us this Newbery Medal winning author in a way that I'm not sure we've experienced and in a way that feels stunning in its bravery and vulnerability. I cried, more than once, during stories centered around Nikki Giovanni and I reflected on my own journey many times the more Alexander revealed himself.
While we are still early in 2023, it's almost unfathomable that "Why Fathers Cry at Night" won't end up being one of my very favorite books of the year. With "Why Fathers Cry at Night," Kwame Alexander has given me practically everything I long for in a book and so much more. I can't stop thinking about it and I look forward to reading it again and again and again.
This was my experience with Kwame Alexander's remarkable "Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Recipes, Letters, and Remembrances."
While it is not rare for me to love a book, it is rather rare for a book to fully immerse me in its universe. This is precisely what happened with "Why Fathers Cry at Night," a "new-fashioned" memoir that so fully bathes us in the exhilarations and exhaustions of love that I was in awe of every word, every emotion, every recipe (Yes, there are really recipes here!), and every memory that Alexander brings so vividly to life.
"Why Fathers Cry at Night" is stunning in its simplicity and intimacy, beautifully portraying a man's journey toward learning how to love. Alexander recalls stories of his parents, stories both heard and observed. He explores his own relationships, successes and failures and successes that became failures. There's a palpable sense of grief as he attempts to make sense of the unravelling of his second marriage and deal with his mother's recent passing even as he finds coping in learning how to perfect her famous fried chicken dish. Alexander weaves a tapestry of relationships that have brought him into the now, relationships that helped him define love even he begins to realize that, just perhaps, he's never really learned how to love himself. Alexander eloquently takes us on a journey through his relationships with his daughters both past and present, relationships that continue even as his own relationship with love has changed.
I say this seldom, but there's never a weak moment in "Why Fathers Cry at Night." Full of heartfelt reminisces, family recipes, love poems, and personal letters, "Why Fathers Cry at Night" gives us this Newbery Medal winning author in a way that I'm not sure we've experienced and in a way that feels stunning in its bravery and vulnerability. I cried, more than once, during stories centered around Nikki Giovanni and I reflected on my own journey many times the more Alexander revealed himself.
While we are still early in 2023, it's almost unfathomable that "Why Fathers Cry at Night" won't end up being one of my very favorite books of the year. With "Why Fathers Cry at Night," Kwame Alexander has given me practically everything I long for in a book and so much more. I can't stop thinking about it and I look forward to reading it again and again and again.
July 23, 2023
I started this book on the Bee Line 1 bus on my commute home. It was delightful! With recipes! Granny’s Hot Buttered Rolls is one I will make. I’d wanted someone to ask what I thought of the book so that I could endorse it. But then the overly sexualized love poems and stories appeared and the book felt unbalanced, self-absorbed and overall, inappropriate. This is unfortunate because there are gems in this book, writing that is so evocative. Portrait of Newlyweds: 1967 is so beautifully written; I can “see” it.
Kwame pulling the hotel curtains closed so that she doesn’t see that he didn’t renew his gym membership and his posing, at 5 am no less, so that his young daughter can draw his portrait. This book is like a fine meal that was over salted. Afterwards, you remember the salt. I encourage others to read it and chime in.
Kwame pulling the hotel curtains closed so that she doesn’t see that he didn’t renew his gym membership and his posing, at 5 am no less, so that his young daughter can draw his portrait. This book is like a fine meal that was over salted. Afterwards, you remember the salt. I encourage others to read it and chime in.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 21, 2024
This memoir is not only a beautiful gift to Kwame Alexander's daughters, but to himself and any man/father/boy who is open to growth beyond mothering. I loved the interweaving of poetry, letters, recipes, and songs. Listening to a library copy narrated by the author was wonderful, but I'll be purchasing a physical copy soon so that I can refer back to the recipes and their accompanying song recommendations. Perhaps such a memoir is what all of us need to read, but also someday create for ourselves and our families. Well done, Kwame!
April 29, 2024
This is definitely not your traditional memoir (and Alexander warns you of that from the start). The collection of poems and letter and recipes weaves through Alexander’s journey to give loved and be loved. At the end, he discusses the cathartic nature of writing and how this book has helped him heal - and that is a powerful message.
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November 12, 202395: Why Fathers Cry at Night: A Memoir in Love Poems, Letters, Recipes, and Remembrances by Kwame Alexander
I have been a Kwame Alexander fan for long enough that I can no longer recall the exact impetus or start. But I do appreciate how accessible he is as a person; recently he was seeking a good biscuit or recipe for one...pretty normal stuff.
It's that same sincere and honest voice with which he writes this book. I recall seeing his FB post about it in which he indicated that while he thought he was writing it for his own daughters, he discovered, while writing, that it was as much about his relationship with his own parents and extended family as it was his relationship with his daughters.
And I don't think it's spoiling anything so much as embracing particular potential readers to share that he includes the fact that one of his daughters is no longer speaking to him as part of his story...and certainly a reason for fathers--as well as mothers--to cry at night, cry all day. But putting this out there for all says much about Alexander's honesty.
At times I think he's too honest in this book, revealing too much about his relationships with his daughters' mothers, for instance. More than most daughters I know would want to hear...I fear. But he must have known what he was doing, or thought he did in telling it all this way.
That's an interesting thing, right? How much is jut right, and how much is "too" much? I think this is what has prompted some authors to go the route of "auto fiction," in which they can tell their truths and blend them with fiction, such that only those who really "know" know what is fact and what is fiction, and that might be a preferable "mask" to pertinent parties involved.
Regardless, this coming to terms with himself and his own family and parenting and infusing poems and recipes, along with other pieces, makes for an interesting literary collage of pieces and parts which contribute to the whole. The recipes themselves are art, with the inclusion of a little story accompanying each, which also includes a music suggestion, or at least what he's listening to when making it. It adds a layer of inclusion to that space and place and then the food item being prepared...recipe and instructions shared. I like it a lot.
In ways this book aligns with others I have read recently...or the books are lining themselves up that way for me to connect them that way: there's some good "therapy" for any reading this one who seeks it, especially if a few read it together and discuss it...you know, like a "book." "club." or what they used to--some still--do.
There's a little privilege and a lot of humility, but I think it's fair to say that the story told is from a place of seeking understanding. And that's something to which most of us can relate. Instead of just asking: "how did we get here?" Alexander seeks to figure it out, at least some of it.
And I see that he now has a podcast by the same title and that he processes things even further there, so I'll likely check it out, too.
To be clear, whether you're the father, the mother, or anyone's child...there's thoughtful stuff to be gained from reading Why Fathers Cry at Night.
I have been a Kwame Alexander fan for long enough that I can no longer recall the exact impetus or start. But I do appreciate how accessible he is as a person; recently he was seeking a good biscuit or recipe for one...pretty normal stuff.
It's that same sincere and honest voice with which he writes this book. I recall seeing his FB post about it in which he indicated that while he thought he was writing it for his own daughters, he discovered, while writing, that it was as much about his relationship with his own parents and extended family as it was his relationship with his daughters.
And I don't think it's spoiling anything so much as embracing particular potential readers to share that he includes the fact that one of his daughters is no longer speaking to him as part of his story...and certainly a reason for fathers--as well as mothers--to cry at night, cry all day. But putting this out there for all says much about Alexander's honesty.
At times I think he's too honest in this book, revealing too much about his relationships with his daughters' mothers, for instance. More than most daughters I know would want to hear...I fear. But he must have known what he was doing, or thought he did in telling it all this way.
That's an interesting thing, right? How much is jut right, and how much is "too" much? I think this is what has prompted some authors to go the route of "auto fiction," in which they can tell their truths and blend them with fiction, such that only those who really "know" know what is fact and what is fiction, and that might be a preferable "mask" to pertinent parties involved.
Regardless, this coming to terms with himself and his own family and parenting and infusing poems and recipes, along with other pieces, makes for an interesting literary collage of pieces and parts which contribute to the whole. The recipes themselves are art, with the inclusion of a little story accompanying each, which also includes a music suggestion, or at least what he's listening to when making it. It adds a layer of inclusion to that space and place and then the food item being prepared...recipe and instructions shared. I like it a lot.
In ways this book aligns with others I have read recently...or the books are lining themselves up that way for me to connect them that way: there's some good "therapy" for any reading this one who seeks it, especially if a few read it together and discuss it...you know, like a "book." "club." or what they used to--some still--do.
There's a little privilege and a lot of humility, but I think it's fair to say that the story told is from a place of seeking understanding. And that's something to which most of us can relate. Instead of just asking: "how did we get here?" Alexander seeks to figure it out, at least some of it.
And I see that he now has a podcast by the same title and that he processes things even further there, so I'll likely check it out, too.
To be clear, whether you're the father, the mother, or anyone's child...there's thoughtful stuff to be gained from reading Why Fathers Cry at Night.
Read
May 24, 2023Review: Why Fathers Cry at Night by Kwame Alexander
I do not rate memoirs but I highly recommend this!
Format: Digital & Audio
Narrator: Kwame Alexander
Length: 225pgs/4 hrs
Pub date: April 23, 2023
Publisher: Little, Brown, & Co./ Hachette Audio
Genre: Memoir/Poetry
I don't think I have ever read anything of Kwame Alexander’s that wasn't excellent. This is his 39th book and I have to say I believe it is his best ever. A unique memoir told through his splendid symphonic style. There is some prose in the form of stories and letters about his family, his staple poems including haikus and couplets, and some tasty-looking recipes. Also sprinkled in throughout are songs, enough to make a great playlist. (See the end)
This is the most personal I've ever seen Alexander get. It is a memoir in love poems so there is love in all forms- to his relationships (and it gets a tiny bit spicy), to his daughters, to his mother, and to his mentors and profession.
Thank you to Little, Brown, & Co, Kwame Alexander, and Netgalley for the early review copy. I was excited to have received the arc but also waited for Libby and listened to the audio because no one reads it quite like Kwame.
My friend Jo- @pagingmrsvarnum made a playlist but it was in Apple so I've created one in Spotify for anyone interested.
Why Fathers Crry at Night
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/15M...
I do not rate memoirs but I highly recommend this!
Format: Digital & Audio
Narrator: Kwame Alexander
Length: 225pgs/4 hrs
Pub date: April 23, 2023
Publisher: Little, Brown, & Co./ Hachette Audio
Genre: Memoir/Poetry
I don't think I have ever read anything of Kwame Alexander’s that wasn't excellent. This is his 39th book and I have to say I believe it is his best ever. A unique memoir told through his splendid symphonic style. There is some prose in the form of stories and letters about his family, his staple poems including haikus and couplets, and some tasty-looking recipes. Also sprinkled in throughout are songs, enough to make a great playlist. (See the end)
This is the most personal I've ever seen Alexander get. It is a memoir in love poems so there is love in all forms- to his relationships (and it gets a tiny bit spicy), to his daughters, to his mother, and to his mentors and profession.
Thank you to Little, Brown, & Co, Kwame Alexander, and Netgalley for the early review copy. I was excited to have received the arc but also waited for Libby and listened to the audio because no one reads it quite like Kwame.
My friend Jo- @pagingmrsvarnum made a playlist but it was in Apple so I've created one in Spotify for anyone interested.
Why Fathers Crry at Night
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/15M...
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