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When the World Didn't End: A Memoir
In this immersive, spell-binding memoir, an acclaimed screenwriter tells the story of her childhood growing up with the infamous Lyman Family cult—and the complicated and unexpected pain of leaving the only home she’d ever known
A NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
On January 5, 1975, the world was supposed to end. Under strict instructions, six-year-old Guinevere Turner put on her best dress, grabbed her favorite toy, and waited with the rest of her community for salvation—a spaceship that would take them to live on Venus. But the spaceship never came.
Guinevere did not understand that her family was a cult. She spent most of her days on a compound in Kansas, living apart from her mother with dozens of other children who worked in the sorghum fields and roved freely through the surrounding pastures, eating mulberries and tending to farm animals. But there was a dark side to this bucolic existence. Guinevere was part of the Lyman Family, a secluded cult spearheaded by Mel Lyman, a self-proclaimed savior, committed to isolation from a World he declared had lost its way. When Guinevere caught the attention of Jessie, the woman everyone in the Family called the Queen, her status was elevated—suddenly she was traveling with the inner circle among communities in Los Angeles, Boston, and Martha’s Vineyard.
But before long, the life Guinevere had known ended. Her mother, from whom she had been separated since age three, left the Family with another disgraced member, and Guinevere and her four-year-old sister were forced to leave with them. Traveling outside the bounds of her cloistered existence, Guinevere was thrust into public school for the first time, a stranger in a strange land wearing homemade clothes, and clueless about social codes. Now out in the World she’d been raised to believe was evil, she faced challenges and horrors she couldn’t have imagined.
Drawing from the diaries that she kept throughout her youth, Guinevere Turner’s memoir is an intimate and heart-wrenching chronicle of a childhood touched with extraordinary beauty and unfathomable ugliness, the ache of yearning to return to a lost home—and the slow realization of how harmful that place really was.
A NEW YORKER BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR
On January 5, 1975, the world was supposed to end. Under strict instructions, six-year-old Guinevere Turner put on her best dress, grabbed her favorite toy, and waited with the rest of her community for salvation—a spaceship that would take them to live on Venus. But the spaceship never came.
Guinevere did not understand that her family was a cult. She spent most of her days on a compound in Kansas, living apart from her mother with dozens of other children who worked in the sorghum fields and roved freely through the surrounding pastures, eating mulberries and tending to farm animals. But there was a dark side to this bucolic existence. Guinevere was part of the Lyman Family, a secluded cult spearheaded by Mel Lyman, a self-proclaimed savior, committed to isolation from a World he declared had lost its way. When Guinevere caught the attention of Jessie, the woman everyone in the Family called the Queen, her status was elevated—suddenly she was traveling with the inner circle among communities in Los Angeles, Boston, and Martha’s Vineyard.
But before long, the life Guinevere had known ended. Her mother, from whom she had been separated since age three, left the Family with another disgraced member, and Guinevere and her four-year-old sister were forced to leave with them. Traveling outside the bounds of her cloistered existence, Guinevere was thrust into public school for the first time, a stranger in a strange land wearing homemade clothes, and clueless about social codes. Now out in the World she’d been raised to believe was evil, she faced challenges and horrors she couldn’t have imagined.
Drawing from the diaries that she kept throughout her youth, Guinevere Turner’s memoir is an intimate and heart-wrenching chronicle of a childhood touched with extraordinary beauty and unfathomable ugliness, the ache of yearning to return to a lost home—and the slow realization of how harmful that place really was.
323 pages, Kindle Edition
First published May 23, 2023
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February 19, 2023
Ever since I read Guinevere Turner's New Yorker essay about her childhood in a cult and learned she had subsequently received a book deal for a memoir, I have been desperately waiting for that memoir to arrive and wondering what was taking so long. It's understandable: I've been a fan of Turner, a screenwriter and actor, for many years now, and if you read my reviews you know I'm pretty much obsessed with cults. Happily, I recently got a chance to read When the World Didn't End, and it did not disappoint.
There have been a lot of books about cults in recent years, but few convey what it's actually like to be in one, and even fewer of those are actually well written. Turner has been a screenwriter for decades now, and she really knows how to tell a story, supplying exactly the right details, moving things along with just the right pacing, and even injecting some suspense when called for. Just as importantly, this book really made me understand why someone would stay in a cult and even experience mixed feelings upon leaving: depending on the group, there can be some good things about them, which tends to be why people join in the first place. In this case, the group of people Turner found herself with are the saving grace of the experience, and she portrays them all so effectively I felt like I knew them. My only complaint is that the book ended too soon. I fervently hope additional memoirs are in Turner's future.
As I mentioned in my review of Hello Beautiful, I've been freelancing for book publishers for a few years now and have had a policy of not rating or reviewing those books—but have decided to make an exception for books I really loved. Unlike Hello Beautiful, which I went into with no expectations, I went into When the World Didn't End with the highest possible expectations, and it lived up to them. Recommended for people who are interested in cults or who just like a really good memoir. As always, my opinions are my own.
There have been a lot of books about cults in recent years, but few convey what it's actually like to be in one, and even fewer of those are actually well written. Turner has been a screenwriter for decades now, and she really knows how to tell a story, supplying exactly the right details, moving things along with just the right pacing, and even injecting some suspense when called for. Just as importantly, this book really made me understand why someone would stay in a cult and even experience mixed feelings upon leaving: depending on the group, there can be some good things about them, which tends to be why people join in the first place. In this case, the group of people Turner found herself with are the saving grace of the experience, and she portrays them all so effectively I felt like I knew them. My only complaint is that the book ended too soon. I fervently hope additional memoirs are in Turner's future.
As I mentioned in my review of Hello Beautiful, I've been freelancing for book publishers for a few years now and have had a policy of not rating or reviewing those books—but have decided to make an exception for books I really loved. Unlike Hello Beautiful, which I went into with no expectations, I went into When the World Didn't End with the highest possible expectations, and it lived up to them. Recommended for people who are interested in cults or who just like a really good memoir. As always, my opinions are my own.
November 29, 2023
Most people believed in things like Santa and the Tooth Fairy as kids, accepting the existence of fantastical beings that rewarded good little children, all because the adults said they were real.
Small children usually accept what they're told. Evolution favored those who didn't go chasing lions when the adults said they would eat them. Thus, they were more likely to survive childhood than their counterparts who didn't believe things without proof and needed to experience the lion's ferocity firsthand.
This made them more likely to pass on their believing genes to the next generation of gullible children.
Some children are told much more sinister and frightening things, like a god that will torture people for all eternity and that the world is going to end at any moment.
Guinevere Turner was raised to believe in the imminent End of the World, and that only those who believed exactly like her group would be saved.
I was told Jesus would come flying down from Heaven on a beautiful white horse, sweeping up all the people who believed like us, just in the nick of time. I guess it's a good thing most people were heathens who didn't believe the right way, or Jesus might have had a harder time gathering up the good people (us) before the sun fell on the earth - don't ask me to explain how any of this could happen. I have no clue.
I worried endlessly about this: what if I wasn't really saved? What if I was left behind? Almost as frightening - what if the End of the World came when I was bathing or changing and I'd go flying through the air without a stitch of clothing for everyone to see?
It should be illegal to tell such horror stories to children. Here's an idea: If you're someone who believes lunatical shit like the world's going to end at any moment, don't have children. Why would you anyway when you're so certain they won't have time to grow up?
Moving along.... Guinevere Turner opens her memoir on January 5, 1975, the date the leader of the Lyman Family cult had declared would be the End of the World.
Her 6-year old self spent the day going from room to room, looking at all the things she would never get to see again, until the adults told the children it was time to get ready. They quickly put on nice clothes and sat around waiting for the spaceship and aliens that were on their way to take them -and only them- to Venus.
Of course it didn't happen.
When adult Guinevere asked her mother how she could believe they were going to Venus when life can't survive on Venus, her mother replied, "It's complicated." 🤷🏼♀️
That's the thing with cults. People turn off their thought processes because they have a need to blindly follow someone else. Don't ask me how. I tried to keep believing stupid stuff once I grew up and my brain could not do it.
This memoir is a page turner. I love that the author only wrote up until she graduated high school because I get bored with most memoirs once someone's an adult.
It's the weird childhoods I like to read about, possibly because it makes my own seem a little more normal.
This memoir is painful and there are trigger warnings . I just wanted to scream at so many of the adults in Guinevere's life, including her own mother. Especially her mother.
It's very well written, though I wish the diary entries had been left out. Pages of them at times, in italics. Regular readers may recall that me and italics don't get along. Those parts were skipped and it dropped my rating down to 4.
For the most part though, I really liked this memoir. Kudos to Ms. Turner for finding a way out and saving herself.
Small children usually accept what they're told. Evolution favored those who didn't go chasing lions when the adults said they would eat them. Thus, they were more likely to survive childhood than their counterparts who didn't believe things without proof and needed to experience the lion's ferocity firsthand.
This made them more likely to pass on their believing genes to the next generation of gullible children.
Some children are told much more sinister and frightening things, like a god that will torture people for all eternity and that the world is going to end at any moment.
Guinevere Turner was raised to believe in the imminent End of the World, and that only those who believed exactly like her group would be saved.
I was told Jesus would come flying down from Heaven on a beautiful white horse, sweeping up all the people who believed like us, just in the nick of time. I guess it's a good thing most people were heathens who didn't believe the right way, or Jesus might have had a harder time gathering up the good people (us) before the sun fell on the earth - don't ask me to explain how any of this could happen. I have no clue.
I worried endlessly about this: what if I wasn't really saved? What if I was left behind? Almost as frightening - what if the End of the World came when I was bathing or changing and I'd go flying through the air without a stitch of clothing for everyone to see?
It should be illegal to tell such horror stories to children. Here's an idea: If you're someone who believes lunatical shit like the world's going to end at any moment, don't have children. Why would you anyway when you're so certain they won't have time to grow up?
Moving along.... Guinevere Turner opens her memoir on January 5, 1975, the date the leader of the Lyman Family cult had declared would be the End of the World.
Her 6-year old self spent the day going from room to room, looking at all the things she would never get to see again, until the adults told the children it was time to get ready. They quickly put on nice clothes and sat around waiting for the spaceship and aliens that were on their way to take them -and only them- to Venus.
Of course it didn't happen.
When adult Guinevere asked her mother how she could believe they were going to Venus when life can't survive on Venus, her mother replied, "It's complicated." 🤷🏼♀️
That's the thing with cults. People turn off their thought processes because they have a need to blindly follow someone else. Don't ask me how. I tried to keep believing stupid stuff once I grew up and my brain could not do it.
This memoir is a page turner. I love that the author only wrote up until she graduated high school because I get bored with most memoirs once someone's an adult.
It's the weird childhoods I like to read about, possibly because it makes my own seem a little more normal.
This memoir is painful and there are trigger warnings . I just wanted to scream at so many of the adults in Guinevere's life, including her own mother. Especially her mother.
It's very well written, though I wish the diary entries had been left out. Pages of them at times, in italics. Regular readers may recall that me and italics don't get along. Those parts were skipped and it dropped my rating down to 4.
For the most part though, I really liked this memoir. Kudos to Ms. Turner for finding a way out and saving herself.
dnf
March 21, 2024It takes a special talent to make such a fascinating, unusual, eventful childhood sound SO painfully boring.
June 28, 2023
Jesus.. this was a heavy read. It was so compelling though. I was hooked from start to finish about Guinevere’s cultish upbringing.
May 24, 2023
Special thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free, electronic ARC of this novel received in exchange for an honest review.
Expected publication date: May 23, 2023
Guinevere Turner is a screenwriter, director and actress. Like many in her field, Turner decided to release her life story into the world, turning her trauma into a beautifully written, albeit tragic, memoir. “When the World Didn’t End” details Turner’s story growing up in the Lyman Community (a.k.a “cult”) and the tumultuous adolescence she experienced after leaving. Full of heartbreak and devastation, “End” is written in Turner’s words, however she uses journals and diaries from her childhood to tell the story from a child’s viewpoint, with all of its unwavering trust and naiveté.
In 1975, Turner was five years old, gathered with the others of her community, in her best dress, waiting for the Spaceship to come and take her “family” to live on Venus. When this didn’t happen, Turner continued to live among the members, completely unaware that she was residing in a cult. She had a biological mother, but every woman in the commune was a maternal figure, and Turner was raised by all of them, as were all of the children in the commune. The leader was a charismatic man named Melvin and his partner, Jessie, was the “Queen”, both worshipped by their willing followers. When Turner’s biological mother left the community, Turner was forced to leave with her and what followed was years and years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of FP, her stepfather. Despite its negative reputation to the world at large, Turner missed her commune family desperately and spent years of her life wanting to return to the safety and security she felt within its walls. After a dysfunctional and unstable childhood and adolescence, Turner finally manages to live life for herself and makes her own decisions, which leads her to become the formidable and admirable woman she is today.
Every single page of this novel is heartbreaking and emotional. Turner tells the story in her adult words, but from her childhood perspective, which is intriguing and has the desired effect of pulling the reader right in. Interspersed with actual journal entries from Turner’s life, on the commune and off, it is sometimes difficult to believe that every word within the pages is actual, real and legitimate. Turner’s childhood is a tragic one, in so many ways, but her bravery and resilience should be admired and the honesty with which she tells her tale is impressive.
I didn’t know about the Lyman community, but its impact on Turner’s life is long-lasting, and I was grateful she chose to share information on what was to her, her childhood home and the people it housed. The story could’ve ended any number of tragic ways, and I’m so grateful that Turner was able to regain control over her own life and leave her in a position to tell such a life-altering tale. “End” is not an easy read, and be warned- there are depictions of childhood abuse (of all kinds), domestic violence and incest, but it is still a must-read for anyone who desires to know about Cult Life, from someone who experienced it firsthand.
Expected publication date: May 23, 2023
Guinevere Turner is a screenwriter, director and actress. Like many in her field, Turner decided to release her life story into the world, turning her trauma into a beautifully written, albeit tragic, memoir. “When the World Didn’t End” details Turner’s story growing up in the Lyman Community (a.k.a “cult”) and the tumultuous adolescence she experienced after leaving. Full of heartbreak and devastation, “End” is written in Turner’s words, however she uses journals and diaries from her childhood to tell the story from a child’s viewpoint, with all of its unwavering trust and naiveté.
In 1975, Turner was five years old, gathered with the others of her community, in her best dress, waiting for the Spaceship to come and take her “family” to live on Venus. When this didn’t happen, Turner continued to live among the members, completely unaware that she was residing in a cult. She had a biological mother, but every woman in the commune was a maternal figure, and Turner was raised by all of them, as were all of the children in the commune. The leader was a charismatic man named Melvin and his partner, Jessie, was the “Queen”, both worshipped by their willing followers. When Turner’s biological mother left the community, Turner was forced to leave with her and what followed was years and years of physical, emotional and sexual abuse at the hands of FP, her stepfather. Despite its negative reputation to the world at large, Turner missed her commune family desperately and spent years of her life wanting to return to the safety and security she felt within its walls. After a dysfunctional and unstable childhood and adolescence, Turner finally manages to live life for herself and makes her own decisions, which leads her to become the formidable and admirable woman she is today.
Every single page of this novel is heartbreaking and emotional. Turner tells the story in her adult words, but from her childhood perspective, which is intriguing and has the desired effect of pulling the reader right in. Interspersed with actual journal entries from Turner’s life, on the commune and off, it is sometimes difficult to believe that every word within the pages is actual, real and legitimate. Turner’s childhood is a tragic one, in so many ways, but her bravery and resilience should be admired and the honesty with which she tells her tale is impressive.
I didn’t know about the Lyman community, but its impact on Turner’s life is long-lasting, and I was grateful she chose to share information on what was to her, her childhood home and the people it housed. The story could’ve ended any number of tragic ways, and I’m so grateful that Turner was able to regain control over her own life and leave her in a position to tell such a life-altering tale. “End” is not an easy read, and be warned- there are depictions of childhood abuse (of all kinds), domestic violence and incest, but it is still a must-read for anyone who desires to know about Cult Life, from someone who experienced it firsthand.
March 17, 2023
I loved the first half of this - and then hit some of my triggers! (sexual abuse of young girls 😬). When I read the prologue, I felt like it was such a smart choice of the author to write the memoir as she lived it - from the vantage point of a young girl with no input from her adult self. After reading it, I wanted to know what she had learned about the Lyman Family since then! What does she look back on and see differently?? Over all so well written and interesting but the abuse was hard to read.
Read
June 2, 2023Bad match of book and reader. This child's eye view of a regressive sex cult intent on disempowering women and shattering family bonds did not work for me. The child is just a victim, what interests me about cults is how and why they hook people, and how people come out and reshape their lives and I saw none of that here. Not for me. No star rating since I think the fault here lies with me.
July 13, 2023
I thought this would be cultier. That sounds weirdly ungrateful. It’s just not what I was expecting since she left the cult as a kid. I appreciate Turner sharing her experiences in the Lyman Family, and her challenging, and sadly abusive, experiences in the “real” world. Told largely through diary entries, this unfortunately really struggled to keep my attention.
May 15, 2023
There have been points in my life when keeping a record of what was happening to me felt like the only power I had, writes Turner in the author's note (loc. 95*). Raised in the Lyman Family, her childhood was in some ways idyllic: living with a pack of other children as playmates, making games out of chores, hours outside on the Farm. Singing and fishing and learning to play the banjo.
But also: no medical care. Doomsday prophecies. Almost no contact with "the World". Young girls chosen by adult men as "brides". Everyday life—the big things and the small—dictated by the whims of a few elite at the top. And then Turner's mother left the Lyman Family (not to be confused with the Family International), and Turner was thrust out into the World with her.
When the World Didn't End takes Turner up through her late teenage years, at which point she'd barely started to process her experience in the Lyman Family "commune"—barely started to process the knowledge that it hadn't been all idyll. Cults are so often something to escape, but for Turner, her upbringing represented a safer place than the World she found herself part of after leaving the Family. Turner holds close to the story as she lived it, choosing to bring in very little of her adult understanding, but I can only imagine that it took further years and years of processing to understand and frame her experience. It's a gripping story, and a sad one (what kind of person tells a child who basically deifies them that they no longer love that child?).
I quoted the author's note above, but it's interesting to note that although keeping a record was a source of power for Turner, those records and diaries were never private, nor expected to be. I'm speculating here, but I wonder whether there's any connection between that experience and her later work as an actress and screenwriter—a sense that any word or facial expression or movement would on some level be judged as a performance.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*I read an ARC, and quotes may not be final.
But also: no medical care. Doomsday prophecies. Almost no contact with "the World". Young girls chosen by adult men as "brides". Everyday life—the big things and the small—dictated by the whims of a few elite at the top. And then Turner's mother left the Lyman Family (not to be confused with the Family International), and Turner was thrust out into the World with her.
When the World Didn't End takes Turner up through her late teenage years, at which point she'd barely started to process her experience in the Lyman Family "commune"—barely started to process the knowledge that it hadn't been all idyll. Cults are so often something to escape, but for Turner, her upbringing represented a safer place than the World she found herself part of after leaving the Family. Turner holds close to the story as she lived it, choosing to bring in very little of her adult understanding, but I can only imagine that it took further years and years of processing to understand and frame her experience. It's a gripping story, and a sad one (what kind of person tells a child who basically deifies them that they no longer love that child?).
I quoted the author's note above, but it's interesting to note that although keeping a record was a source of power for Turner, those records and diaries were never private, nor expected to be. I'm speculating here, but I wonder whether there's any connection between that experience and her later work as an actress and screenwriter—a sense that any word or facial expression or movement would on some level be judged as a performance.
Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.
*I read an ARC, and quotes may not be final.
June 29, 2023
DNF at 50%. While I feel for the author's experiences growing up in a cult, this was not a good childhood trauma memoir. There are too many characters, too much focus on insignificant events that bore the reader, and a plodding narrative arc that made me lose interest and patience.
September 21, 2023
This was a hard book to read. The first part was a bit boring, to be honest Ms. Turner's time in the family commune was pretty sad. Girls worked hard to please the men. Yikes! There was no school, or doctors visits. The leader was long deceased but no one cared or changed. When her mom finally left the family with a fellow man to live in the real world, Guinevere was kicked out of the group since she was only 11 years old. The second part of the book picked up fast. She was living a life with a distant and abused mom, and younger siblings that were also abused by the mother’s boyfriend. Guinevere received the most brutal punishment from her step dad. It was horrific, disgusting and abusive. I’m hoping the author received some form of counseling from the trauma she endured. My only complaint was the ending. It left off suddenly for me. I wanted to know what happened to her siblings, and her mom? Was the step dad ever punished, or in jail? What did she study in college? Did she like college? So many unanswered questions. Otherwise it was a good and informative book on her childhood.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for my ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Thank you to the publisher and NetGalley for my ARC in exchange for my honest review.
June 5, 2023
I will come back and pour out my heart for Guinevere when I’m done sobbing.
May 30, 2023
Sadly, this author lived through some horrifying traumas, mental and physical. But the choice to use her childhood diary entries made long sections boring and sounded like a child with a good vocabulary. I think I need a break from traumatic childhood memoirs. Too depressing. Thanks to Crown for an ARC of this book won through a Goodreads giveaway.
March 22, 2024
Boring ..felt like someone was reading from their childhood diary. DNF
September 12, 2023
Much less about the actual cult than the dysfunctional, abusive family a couple of escapees created. The children were cruelly abused and Guinevere finally was able to get away and forge her own healthier path.
June 26, 2023
This was an interesting deviation from the norm in terms of commune-style cult life. I feel like Guinevere went out of her way to not present things in a negative light because of the ties to her "family" and that adds an interesting dimension to the book that sets it apart from other accounts of children who grew up in similar situations and eventually joined the rest of the world.
My biggest gripe with this book was that, while interesting, it does get a bit repetitive given that it's three hundred or so pages and only covers Guinevere's life from early childhood to age 18. There's a lot of detail that can get repetitive, especially when dealing with the chores of her early life, relationships with the other members of the "Family" and later, with the dynamics in her family living in an abusive situation.
I would have enjoyed more from adult Guin reflecting on how things have changed in her life or how she managed to make her way in the world after the events in the book, but we stop a bit abruptly at the cusp of freedom for her and never revisit her relationship with her mother, sisters, brother, FP, grandmother, or even the Family she left behind at various locations that she presumably never interacts with again.
Also, I'll be honest: I was disappointed not to see Lloyd mentioned in the acknowledgements when he was a literal lifeline for a young person who needed a safe place to live. Very odd to not hear anything about that relationship either beyond age 18.
My biggest gripe with this book was that, while interesting, it does get a bit repetitive given that it's three hundred or so pages and only covers Guinevere's life from early childhood to age 18. There's a lot of detail that can get repetitive, especially when dealing with the chores of her early life, relationships with the other members of the "Family" and later, with the dynamics in her family living in an abusive situation.
I would have enjoyed more from adult Guin reflecting on how things have changed in her life or how she managed to make her way in the world after the events in the book, but we stop a bit abruptly at the cusp of freedom for her and never revisit her relationship with her mother, sisters, brother, FP, grandmother, or even the Family she left behind at various locations that she presumably never interacts with again.
Also, I'll be honest: I was disappointed not to see Lloyd mentioned in the acknowledgements when he was a literal lifeline for a young person who needed a safe place to live. Very odd to not hear anything about that relationship either beyond age 18.
May 22, 2023
I have nothing but deep admiration for Guinevere Turner, the author of her memoir, When The World Didn’t End. Her early life was filled with such abuse and heartache, yet she persevered and grew stronger. Her writing about her life read like a fiction novel but unfortunately it is a true story. I was so happy to read about how she grew into a strong, successful and independent young women.
May 1, 2023
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𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅. 𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑰 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑰 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍.
The above excerpt is an incredibly insightful explanation of abuse. I think many victims that stay in such situations do so because although one day can be a horror show, there are normal times in-between. The lull is a deception, of course, but it is in these moments people excuse what they’ve endured, for that fleeting taste of the calm days. The memoir begins in 1975 with Guinevere Turner waiting for the World People to be wiped off the earth, except for the adults and children of her community, led by Melvin Lyman. These chosen few were going to be saved by a spaceship where they would abscond to Venus, the planet of love. What six-year-old wouldn’t believe such a magical fantasy? What child wouldn’t be excited? As we all sit here on planet Earth, it’s obvious the ship never came but that only meant the date would be reset, it was still going to happen, back to the compound and new rules. Rules such as what movies, tv shows, events were on the “Lord’s List”, according to Melvin. Not everyone lived in Los Angeles, there were separate places in the Community in Boston, New York, San Francisco, Martha’s Vineyard and the farm in Kansas, where Guinevere lived under hardships, chores including working the sorghum fields, tending to animals and where children were shamed for being one’s own person. There was a hierarchy, and she was just one of the ‘rough and tumble’ farm kids. Shunning was common, and the children didn’t live with their biological parents, though many of the kids were all related in some way. The farm was Jessie’s, the Queen everyone clamors to please. For me, it was one of the saddest truths, that Guinevere hardly knew her mother beyond random phone calls. As luck would have it, she rises in status, joins the caravan and lives in Jessie’s House but acceptance comes at a price and there is always someone above her, treating Guinevere like ‘the help’.
The shocking, heartbreaking incidents of the story take place beyond the confines of the community. The true terror is in the terrible reality that waited for her when her mother chose to leave, disgraced. Growing up in the cult may have taught Guinevere to bury her emotions, how to placate self-important adults, and how to shrink so small that life held no room for privacy, for boundaries but it is all put into practice under her mother’s roof. Handing your parental power over to communal care has its consequences, her loyalty remained with Jessie, longing to return to the only world she knew, the safe one away from the rotten, evil World People. How could her own mother, a stranger, evoke any love within her heart? Over time, she learns the hard way that maybe the Lyman Family was wrong about the rest of the world but the home her mother creates is far more dangerous than any cult. Guinevere resents her for leaving in shame with a man named FP. Guinevere keenly perceives FP as a person that “left his paw print on everything, thought he deserved everything.” Her mother defers to him, he is a tyrant, living with him becomes a crushing weight full of ugly secrets. How is she supposed to embrace this new role when even her younger, half-sister Annalee is a stranger to her. School isn’t any better, she doesn’t understand the social rules, having only gone to public school once when she was a part of the Lyman Family. It was an insulated life growing up in the communities, all the better to keep control, therefore it is no wonder Guinevere had no experience with how the outside world operated. She truly is thrown into an alien planet when she attends school and is around other children. There is no escape from the abuses that await her at home, Annalee doesn’t have it any easier, in fact, FP “hated the very sight of her.” It seems they are both stuck, but will it be forever? Her life takes a dark turn, if only a spaceship could come and save her, but it will take her own inner strength, fight, and courage to change the course of her life.
It astounds me that anyone joins a cult, maybe I am more of a loner, but I couldn’t willingly, blindly hand over control of my life that way and certainly never turn away from my children nor allow anyone to parent them while I still walk this earth. It’s not a place of self-righteousness, I honestly cannot stomach child abuse. Her mother doesn’t just bury her head, she victim blames and there is no excuse- none. Dysfunctional family doesn’t even begin to describe what happens, it is vile, it is cruelty. Why do such people freely walk this earth, I will never know! I hope that her memoir is a release from the painful past that was forced on her, it takes bravery to confront dark memories. It’s important light is shined on cults too, especially from a child’s perspective, those who have no voice in their own lives, led by the so-called adults. Yes, read it!
Publication Date: May 23, 2023
Crown Publishing
𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒗𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒆𝒏𝒄𝒆 𝒊𝒔 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒕’𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒄𝒂𝒏 𝒃𝒆 𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒑𝒆𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒓𝒚 𝒔𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒅. 𝑳𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒍𝒊𝒗𝒆𝒅. 𝑯𝒐𝒖𝒔𝒆𝒔 𝒐𝒇 𝒄𝒂𝒓𝒅𝒔 𝒉𝒂𝒗𝒆 𝒕𝒐 𝒃𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒕𝒓𝒖𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅. 𝑰 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒚 𝒃𝒐𝒕𝒉 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒎𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒗𝒆𝒔 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔 𝒕𝒐 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒖𝒑 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒏𝒆𝒙𝒕 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈. 𝑰 𝒊𝒎𝒂𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒆 𝑰 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒎𝒚𝒔𝒆𝒍𝒇 𝒂 𝒇𝒆𝒘 𝒂𝒔 𝒘𝒆𝒍𝒍.
The above excerpt is an incredibly insightful explanation of abuse. I think many victims that stay in such situations do so because although one day can be a horror show, there are normal times in-between. The lull is a deception, of course, but it is in these moments people excuse what they’ve endured, for that fleeting taste of the calm days. The memoir begins in 1975 with Guinevere Turner waiting for the World People to be wiped off the earth, except for the adults and children of her community, led by Melvin Lyman. These chosen few were going to be saved by a spaceship where they would abscond to Venus, the planet of love. What six-year-old wouldn’t believe such a magical fantasy? What child wouldn’t be excited? As we all sit here on planet Earth, it’s obvious the ship never came but that only meant the date would be reset, it was still going to happen, back to the compound and new rules. Rules such as what movies, tv shows, events were on the “Lord’s List”, according to Melvin. Not everyone lived in Los Angeles, there were separate places in the Community in Boston, New York, San Francisco, Martha’s Vineyard and the farm in Kansas, where Guinevere lived under hardships, chores including working the sorghum fields, tending to animals and where children were shamed for being one’s own person. There was a hierarchy, and she was just one of the ‘rough and tumble’ farm kids. Shunning was common, and the children didn’t live with their biological parents, though many of the kids were all related in some way. The farm was Jessie’s, the Queen everyone clamors to please. For me, it was one of the saddest truths, that Guinevere hardly knew her mother beyond random phone calls. As luck would have it, she rises in status, joins the caravan and lives in Jessie’s House but acceptance comes at a price and there is always someone above her, treating Guinevere like ‘the help’.
The shocking, heartbreaking incidents of the story take place beyond the confines of the community. The true terror is in the terrible reality that waited for her when her mother chose to leave, disgraced. Growing up in the cult may have taught Guinevere to bury her emotions, how to placate self-important adults, and how to shrink so small that life held no room for privacy, for boundaries but it is all put into practice under her mother’s roof. Handing your parental power over to communal care has its consequences, her loyalty remained with Jessie, longing to return to the only world she knew, the safe one away from the rotten, evil World People. How could her own mother, a stranger, evoke any love within her heart? Over time, she learns the hard way that maybe the Lyman Family was wrong about the rest of the world but the home her mother creates is far more dangerous than any cult. Guinevere resents her for leaving in shame with a man named FP. Guinevere keenly perceives FP as a person that “left his paw print on everything, thought he deserved everything.” Her mother defers to him, he is a tyrant, living with him becomes a crushing weight full of ugly secrets. How is she supposed to embrace this new role when even her younger, half-sister Annalee is a stranger to her. School isn’t any better, she doesn’t understand the social rules, having only gone to public school once when she was a part of the Lyman Family. It was an insulated life growing up in the communities, all the better to keep control, therefore it is no wonder Guinevere had no experience with how the outside world operated. She truly is thrown into an alien planet when she attends school and is around other children. There is no escape from the abuses that await her at home, Annalee doesn’t have it any easier, in fact, FP “hated the very sight of her.” It seems they are both stuck, but will it be forever? Her life takes a dark turn, if only a spaceship could come and save her, but it will take her own inner strength, fight, and courage to change the course of her life.
It astounds me that anyone joins a cult, maybe I am more of a loner, but I couldn’t willingly, blindly hand over control of my life that way and certainly never turn away from my children nor allow anyone to parent them while I still walk this earth. It’s not a place of self-righteousness, I honestly cannot stomach child abuse. Her mother doesn’t just bury her head, she victim blames and there is no excuse- none. Dysfunctional family doesn’t even begin to describe what happens, it is vile, it is cruelty. Why do such people freely walk this earth, I will never know! I hope that her memoir is a release from the painful past that was forced on her, it takes bravery to confront dark memories. It’s important light is shined on cults too, especially from a child’s perspective, those who have no voice in their own lives, led by the so-called adults. Yes, read it!
Publication Date: May 23, 2023
Crown Publishing
April 4, 2024
Based on her childhood diaries, the author describes her highly unusual upbringing starting out in a commune, then moving to live with her mother and mother’s abusive boyfriend. The graphic descriptions are painful enough to read, let alone to have lived through, and at such a young age. But this girl was a survivor, intelligent and spirited, adapting to whatever she had to in order to get through.
February 8, 2023
This book is amazing. It’s a very sad story in itself but it has a happy ending. I had a difficult time reading some parts of it but it was a good story.
July 15, 2023
3.5 stars
I didn’t need much convincing to read this memoir about a girl who grows up in a cult. Coming of age and cult - I’m in. It took me a while, though, to appreciate the writing style. Apparently this author kept all of the diaries she wrote during her time with the Lyman Family and the years after, when she was most certainly under the cult’s influence. And, while I acknowledge the honesty that comes with that first-hand record - the first person narrative from an 8-year old’s perspective wasn’t particularly riveting.
Luckily for me, I was interested enough to stick with it, and found my investment in this young woman grew as she was removed from the Lyman Family community and forced into a very abusive homelife on her own. The second half of this memoir is harrowing and hard to read, primarily because of the first person voice and the violent move from idealistic belief to confused isolation and hurt.
I still ended up wanting more from this book than it delivered but overall, very glad I moved it to the top of my pile.
I didn’t need much convincing to read this memoir about a girl who grows up in a cult. Coming of age and cult - I’m in. It took me a while, though, to appreciate the writing style. Apparently this author kept all of the diaries she wrote during her time with the Lyman Family and the years after, when she was most certainly under the cult’s influence. And, while I acknowledge the honesty that comes with that first-hand record - the first person narrative from an 8-year old’s perspective wasn’t particularly riveting.
Luckily for me, I was interested enough to stick with it, and found my investment in this young woman grew as she was removed from the Lyman Family community and forced into a very abusive homelife on her own. The second half of this memoir is harrowing and hard to read, primarily because of the first person voice and the violent move from idealistic belief to confused isolation and hurt.
I still ended up wanting more from this book than it delivered but overall, very glad I moved it to the top of my pile.
July 15, 2023
Good, but not great. I expected more details about her life within the cult, however the main focus around mid-book became her need to escape her abusive family.
July 17, 2023
Disturbing, yet inspiring.
In the first half of the book, the author takes us through what life was like growing up in the Lyman cult. Some parts were expected - like no formal education, belief that the world would end and they would be the only ones safe, polygamous relationships, corporal punishments, societal hierarchy etc. But some parts were very disturbing like the way the adults emotionally manipulated children and made them feel that they were selfish, lazy and evil, when in fact they were just innocent kids. Turner included parts of the diary she kept, and that makes the narrative very authentic.
The second half of the book was very disturbing to read. She had very little interaction with her mother so she felt devastated when her mother decided to leave the family with her partner, as she was torn away from the only family she knew. Not only did a 11year old Turner have to learn the ways of the regular world, but also live with a physically and sexually abusive father-figure and mentally weak mother.
When Turner turns 18, she has a choice to return to the family. As a new adult, she now notices the way women are made to serve the men in the family and realizes that even though this is the only place where people know and love her, she would never truly be free.
Thank you for telling us your story, Gwen. I'm sure it wasn't easy.
In the first half of the book, the author takes us through what life was like growing up in the Lyman cult. Some parts were expected - like no formal education, belief that the world would end and they would be the only ones safe, polygamous relationships, corporal punishments, societal hierarchy etc. But some parts were very disturbing like the way the adults emotionally manipulated children and made them feel that they were selfish, lazy and evil, when in fact they were just innocent kids. Turner included parts of the diary she kept, and that makes the narrative very authentic.
The second half of the book was very disturbing to read. She had very little interaction with her mother so she felt devastated when her mother decided to leave the family with her partner, as she was torn away from the only family she knew. Not only did a 11year old Turner have to learn the ways of the regular world, but also live with a physically and sexually abusive father-figure and mentally weak mother.
When Turner turns 18, she has a choice to return to the family. As a new adult, she now notices the way women are made to serve the men in the family and realizes that even though this is the only place where people know and love her, she would never truly be free.
Thank you for telling us your story, Gwen. I'm sure it wasn't easy.
October 16, 2023
I was so angry and disgusted by the adults who let little Guin down over and over again it brought tears to my eyes.
This book is based on her childhood diaries and letters and sticks pretty closely to what she felt and understood at the time, so her time living with the Lyman Family is relatively idealized because she didn’t understand the danger she was in. Whatever we grow up with seems normal to us, and it wasn’t until she was older and in a different kind of awful family that she started to understand.
Because some of the writing is her diary entries written in vague terms and 70s cult nonsense, and written knowing that others were reading, it’s not always clear what some things mean or what exactly happened at times.
All the trigger warnings, for so many things. I let my guard down after she had to leave the cult, just when things started to get really bad. Don’t read the last third at bedtime like I accidentally did. Be prepared that the ending comes quite suddenly and there seems to be no justice in this world. I’m glad she survived and seems to have thrived as an adult.
This book is based on her childhood diaries and letters and sticks pretty closely to what she felt and understood at the time, so her time living with the Lyman Family is relatively idealized because she didn’t understand the danger she was in. Whatever we grow up with seems normal to us, and it wasn’t until she was older and in a different kind of awful family that she started to understand.
Because some of the writing is her diary entries written in vague terms and 70s cult nonsense, and written knowing that others were reading, it’s not always clear what some things mean or what exactly happened at times.
All the trigger warnings, for so many things. I let my guard down after she had to leave the cult, just when things started to get really bad. Don’t read the last third at bedtime like I accidentally did. Be prepared that the ending comes quite suddenly and there seems to be no justice in this world. I’m glad she survived and seems to have thrived as an adult.
September 10, 2023
the recounting of the tragic childhood of guinevere turner: from growing up in a cult to being forced out at age 11 to live in the mentally, physically, emotionally and sexually abusive conditions created by her mother and her mother’s boyfriend in the real world. i am always amazed at the stories of people who get to the other side of situations like this, as it seems to solidify that “nature” and “nurture” shape each of us in different balances.
3.5 stars.
3.5 stars.
Read
June 13, 2023Very good. I was expecting it to be more about the cult, and when the blurb says she face "challenges and horrors" it is not exaggerating. The dynamic of every part of her childhood was seriously messed up. I appreciate how she did tell it how it happened, with minimal reflection as an adult looking back, it gives so much compassion for this kid.
July 4, 2023
The author has experienced so much being a part of the Lyman Family and an abusive household after leaving the family with her mother. I usually try to give memoirs some grace with ratings, but I found this a tough book to get through. I appreciate the author sharing her story, but at some parts I found the book to be slow.
I would also have loved to hear some of the author’s thoughts as an adult and reflections on her experiences as a child.
I would also have loved to hear some of the author’s thoughts as an adult and reflections on her experiences as a child.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 13, 2023
The world didn’t end on January 5, 1975. I suppose you already knew that. But “savior” Mel Lyman said it would, and when his promise didn’t come into fruition, he had a very reasonable explanation for it all: It was his followers’ fault.
Imagine being a child growing up with that kind of leader. I’m sure you can picture it being an environment of skewed views and, at the very least, psychological abuse. But what does a child understand about any of that?
Guinevere Turner loved the Family. It was all she’d known. She was committed to both the physical and emotional work of her community, and dearly loved one of the most influential members of the Lyman Family.
And then she was ripped away from all that was familiar. Maybe that is when her world actually ended? Lyman didn’t predict that one.
Her life grew detrimentally worse when she was forced to leave the Family and live with the mother she barely knew, as well as her mother’s abusive boyfriend. But as Turner reflects back on experiences with the Lyman clan, it becomes clear that the view of a child is often a bit rosier than the reality of their experiences.
I found this to be an incredibly engaging and painfully honest memoir with some raw insights about human beings that cut deep with their accuracy. I loved that Turner included many of her journal entries. She doesn’t simply give us her memories. She provided an actual glimpse into the innocence of a child’s mind amidst toxicity. It’s heartbreaking.
When the World Didn’t End was certainly difficult to read at times, but Guinevere Turner’s story was well worth the discomfort. I was mesmerized by every detail and will remain haunted by it for a long time.
Imagine being a child growing up with that kind of leader. I’m sure you can picture it being an environment of skewed views and, at the very least, psychological abuse. But what does a child understand about any of that?
Guinevere Turner loved the Family. It was all she’d known. She was committed to both the physical and emotional work of her community, and dearly loved one of the most influential members of the Lyman Family.
And then she was ripped away from all that was familiar. Maybe that is when her world actually ended? Lyman didn’t predict that one.
Her life grew detrimentally worse when she was forced to leave the Family and live with the mother she barely knew, as well as her mother’s abusive boyfriend. But as Turner reflects back on experiences with the Lyman clan, it becomes clear that the view of a child is often a bit rosier than the reality of their experiences.
I found this to be an incredibly engaging and painfully honest memoir with some raw insights about human beings that cut deep with their accuracy. I loved that Turner included many of her journal entries. She doesn’t simply give us her memories. She provided an actual glimpse into the innocence of a child’s mind amidst toxicity. It’s heartbreaking.
When the World Didn’t End was certainly difficult to read at times, but Guinevere Turner’s story was well worth the discomfort. I was mesmerized by every detail and will remain haunted by it for a long time.
December 31, 2023
Raised in a cult, shipped around and actually abused. May trigger those survivors of sexual abuse. I found in interesting that there are/were so many cults around and I had no idea!
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