Notes on Her Color: A Novel

by Jennifer Neal

Winner of the Vulgar Geniuses Award

Florida kitsch swirls together with magical realism in this glittering debut novel about a young Black and Indigenous woman who learns to change the color of her skin

Gabrielle has always had a complicated relationship with her mother Tallulah, one marked by intimacy and resilience in the face of a volatile patriarch. Everything in their home has been bleached a cold white—from the cupboards filled with sheets and crockery to the food and spices Tallulah cooks with. Even Gabrielle, who inherited the ability to change the color of her skin from her mother, is told to pass into white if she doesn’t want to upset her father.

But this vital mother-daughter bond implodes when Tallulah is hospitalized for a mental health crisis. Separated from her mother for the first time in her life, Gabrielle must learn to control the temperamental shifts in her color on her own.

Meanwhile, Gabrielle is spending a year after high school focusing on her piano lessons, an extracurricular her father is sure will make her a more appealing candidate for pre med programs. Her instructor, a queer, dark-skinned woman named Dominique, seems to encapsulate everything Gabrielle is missing in her life—creativity, confidence, and perhaps most importantly, a nurturing sense of love.

Following a young woman looking for a world beyond her family’s carefully -coded existence, Notes on Her Color is a lushly written and haunting tale that shows how love, in its best sense, can be a liberating force from destructive origins.

Genres: Magical Realism, Fiction, Fantasy, Contemporary, Literary Fiction, LGBT, Queer

335 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 23, 2023

Reviews

[Jennifer Neal · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look. Obviously this book is amazing. And I’m not just saying that because I wrote it. I’m saying that because it’s beautiful, tender, violent, and extremely weird. Buy it! You’ll love it! And tell all your friends/enemies to do the same!

[Emily Coffee and Commentary · Rating 4 out of 5]

A raw, imaginative novel on power of artistic expression, and the freedom of living one’s truth. Through a vivid spectrum of colors, memories, notes, this story highlights the devastation of generational trauma and racism, the ways in which society encourages people to shrink, to pass, to be silent. Notes on Her Color is a heartrending reflection on motherhood, mental health, and self discovery; it is a celebration of queerness and the power to forge one’s own identity, to reclaim and thrive in the skin which others scrutinize. Devastating and hopeful at once, this is a powerful story filled with music, and echoes.

[Julia G. · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my friends works at Penguin Australia and I was able to cop a galley of this book months before everyone else. It's one of the best books I've read in recent memory. Gorgeous prose, and exceptional storytelling. A truly haunting and heartbreaking book about mothers and daughters and the complexities of intergenerational trauma. I won't shut up about it for the rest of the year!

[Glenda Nelms · Rating 4 out of 5]

"We were in the same white house. We lived with the same dark man. We were the same people who curated colors from a palette of abuses and called them beautiful."

Notes on her color is about a Black and Indigenous woman named Gabrielle who inherits the gift of being able to change the color of her skin from her mother Tallulah. Gabrielle's great grandmother was an Aniyunwiya witch who used her skin changing ability to conduct trades and gather supplies. As Gabrielle learns how to control it her color changing and the dangers she faces as folks find out, her mother experiences an ongoing mental health crisis, leaving Gabrielle at the hands of her father who is emotionally and verbally abusive towards her.

Her father insists she adept at classical piano, so he hires a piano teacher. The relationship between Gabrielle and her piano teacher Dominique is beautiful. Dom was supportive and gave Gabrielle the nurturing and motherly love.

[Jamie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Notes on Her Color is a book that snuck up on me! The shock factor of the beginning hooked me and before I knew it I was over a hundred pages into the coming of age of Gabrielle and her navigating life right after high school. Gabrielle and her mother Tallulah have the ability to change the color of their skin, sometimes intentional, sometimes reactive, to a rainbow variety of colors. As Gabrielle learns how to control it her color changing and the dangers she faces as folks find out, her mother experiences a ongoing mental health crisis, leaving Gabrielle at the hands of her verbally/emotionally abusive father. In her year off before starting college, he insists she become adept at classical piano, hiring a teacher for her. This person, Dominique, becomes the window form which Gabrielle can see a way out of her current reality.

I’m really taken by Jennifer Neal’s characterization; particularly the way we watch Gabrielle come into and recognize the power of her own decision making. The untethering of the mother-daughter relationship kept me interested, and the queer storyline warmly unfolded in such a realistic way.

Thank you for the gift of this book @catapult!

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a lushly written magical realism novel about a young Black and Indigenous woman named Gabrielle who has inherited the ability to change her skin color from her mother. The story's heart centers on the dynamic of her volatile relationship with her mother, who has intentionally made their home sterile and colorless. Gabrielle's skin changes into various colors for many other reasons. It can be PMS or when an emotion is too strong, and it’s something she has yet to learn to control. The mother-daughter relationship comes to a head when Gabrielle’s mother is hospitalized for a mental health crisis.

The concept is unique, and the writing is so beautiful, as Gabrielle struggles to discover who she is as an individual and reconcile her relationship with her mother. The way the author uses Gabrielle’s extraordinary ability as a commentary on the way we, as a society, view skin color kept me thinking long after I finished reading. Notes on Her Color was a poignant story about mothers and daughters, racism in America, and the power of love and music.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://shows.acast.com/moms-dont-hav...

[Kassandra S · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute page turner. Loved the magical realism, because there were stakes and consequences. The ending had me a bit confused, but hey that’s life. Would 1000% recommend.

[Kate Spencer · Rating 2 out of 5]

Too many themes going on to make a real impact with any of them.

[Lori · Rating 4 out of 5]

A unique coming-of-age told from the perspective of a young black and indigenous woman.

For as long as she can remember, Gabrielle and her mother have been different - with the ability to "pass" or to change the color of their skin at will. In their pristine, perfectly white house they can blend in, but unexpected emotions or thoughts will jar their concentration at times and cause their skin to pass into a myriad of different colors. Tallulah has taught Gabrielle that this is a skill she needs to master and control, and one that Gabrielle has understood to be a means of defense and self-protection. It is something that bonds the two together against Gabrielle's father, a demanding and controlling head of household that has already set her path of life for her as a future doctor, forcing her to take piano lessons and dictating the people she can't or can't spend time with. It is through these lessons that Gabrielle meets Dominique, a musician who is nothing like her, and comes to think about a slightly different future for herself.

Jennifer Neal incorporates such a beautiful and thought-provoking method of magical realism that works seamlessly with the novel, as it's a physical manifestation of the weighty themes of racism and sexism, the relationship between mother and daughter, and Gabrielle's own discovery of her identity and sexuality. The prose is beautifully structured, rigid and controlled at the beginning of the novel to reflect Gabrielle's early upbringing and mindset, and slowly evolving as time goes on and her perspective changes. As a former classically-trained pianist, I enjoyed the elements of music that were included and how they became essential to Gabrielle's future path.

Very much a recommended read, and a promising debut novel from a young author!

[Kate · Rating 3 out of 5]

I don’t think I’m enough of a literary analyst to understand this ending

[Ivey · Rating 3 out of 5]

I know it’s good I just don’t like poetry and that’s what it felt like :(

[Danielle Stoebe · Rating 4 out of 5]

4/5 ⭐️

I loved the magical realism in this and the overall storytelling and prose.

[Hope · Rating 3 out of 5]

Poetic and beautifully written however it lacked flow and felt scattered at times.

[Sydney · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book made me feel a lot and I like when that happens. The idea of healing through art and love and finding one’s authentic self was very appreciated by me.

[Donna RB]

Had to stop reading it. Unrelenting cruel

[Sharon Velez Diodonet · Rating 4 out of 5]

"You have to feel out different spaces like they've got blood and bone of their own—and make yourself fit into them like a river."

Notes on Her Color by Jennifer Neal was quite an experience. It's one of those books that crawls under your skin and melts into you from the inside out. It's raw, emotional and dark and at times you want to look away because it feels brutal and you feel guilty for being a witness. Neal's writing is captivating. I loved how she wove the art of music into the story because it felt like a way to freedom for the protagonist, Gabrielle. The premise of being able to change skin color based on emotion and the environment was a unique aspect of the story. Neal tackles the heavy topics of colorism, respectability politics, family history, mother-daughter relationships, emotional abuse, misogyny and mental health in very interesting ways.

The speculative aspects really add flavor to an already layered story. At times I didn't know what I was reading because it was weird but it was beautiful. This is definitely a book for readers who love vibes rather than plot and enjoy being taken on a blind journey full of feelings. I'm still thinking about this one and trying to process it all. I can't say much more except this is one you have to experience for yourself.

Thank you to @catapult and @cocoachapters for the gifted copy and opportunity to review this one.

#NotesOnHerColor #JenniferNeal #cocoachapters #cocoasippers #bookreview #bookcommunity #tbr #bookstagrammer #bookstagram #20booksbyblackwomen #books #reading #igreads #bookphotos #mentalhealthawarenessmonth

[Vee · Rating 4 out of 5]

📒Tour Stop 🛑 Book Review:
Notes on Her Color x Jennifer Neal (@chocolatejenn)
4/5 ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

💭My Thoughts:
Notes on Her color was one of those books that really make you think. This Book took me on a range of emotions from hot to cold. I feel like the color changing in this book is a representation of the daily emotions that we feel as human beings. The fact that she inherited this characteristic from her mother means a lot too because that makes me think if that had anything to do with ancestors or genetics. The main character Gabrielle had to learn to adjust with the color, changing herself and it’s something that she never experienced before and that time she didn’t know how to hide it because she didn’t expect it. This book was very well written in an expressive way to where you can see all the words and your heart, at first it was a bit hard to understand, but as the story went by everything kind of connected with each other. There were even times where I feel like the mother didn’t understand why she changed the way she did when she did so it was hard for her to explain to her daughter. I really enjoyed reading this book especially because I took my time I could see myself re-reading the story pretty soon. Not many books make me feel like this. This, this was my first time reading any book by Jennifer Neal, and I can’t wait to see what else she has in store as an author. One of the things I also loved about this book was the artwork on the cover it matched perfectly with the storyline. If you haven’t read this book, you should definitely add it to your TBR. Let this be one of the books you read before the year is over!!

Special thank you to @catapult @chocolatejenn, @cocoachapters, and for allowing to be a part of this amazing book tour and my gifted copy.
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#cocoachapters #cocoasippers #jenniferneal #notesonhercolor #catipult

[Anne Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Chopin’s second piano scherzo was described by Schumann as “overflowing with tenderness, boldness, love and contempt”. Jennifer Neal’s dazzling debut novel “Notes on Her Colour” may be its equivalent in literary form.

As an aspiring concert pianist, the protagonist, Gabrielle strives to master the Chopin piece as a measure of her accomplishment. In her senior year of high school, she’s living at home in Florida in a house decorated solely in white. Music becomes her escape route from a prison of dysfunction as turbulent, hurricane-prone, “wet and sticky” as Florida itself.

Colour reverberates as the driving metaphor in a coming-of-age story about race, first love, madness and liberation. Gabrielle and her mother, Tallulah, share the ability to change the colour of their skin, not only from black to white but to every spectrum in nature. Symbolic of the transient and nebulous hold they have over their emotions, their skin colour mirrors every surge of commotion in their minds. Except at home, where in a “monophonic melody of violence” Gabrielle’s father, an abusive alcoholic, demands they be white in his presence, a colonisation of their bodies as tyrannical as the dominant ideologies that enclose them.

Magical realism, a literary form with a history of revolutionary intent, gives this story an element of the surreal. Complicit between writer and reader is that we enter the writer’s imaginative realm unencumbered by any compulsion except to witness. Gabrielle is an unforgettable character who through the power of music and her own agency disentangles herself from corrosive bonds of abuse, discrimination and emotional blackmail to find a place where she is “fiercely, undeniably loved”.

Review published in June edition of Good Reading Magazine.

[Bookworm · Rating 1 out of 5]

I borrowed this on a whim after seeing the cover and that it was coming through my local library. I was intrigued by the idea of the story of a young woman (Gabrielle) who inherited the ability to change her skin color from her mother, Tallulah, and how that affects their lives. They live in a home that is bleached white, to the point where even the food Talluah cooks with is white. And Gabrielle must pass as white so as not to upset her father. The two are separated when Talluah experiences a mental health crisis.

There are a bunch of positive reviews but I will say that I definitely did not get it. It sounded interesting, plus with all the dynamics involved and what it means for Gabrielle to be able to change color and pass (the recent 'Lovecraft Country' show had something like this although it is not exactly the same). As a coming of age story it was certainly an interesting approach but beyond that it was a really dull book.

I did not find Gabrielle or her mom particularly compelling characters, the story just did not propel me and when I put it down I found I had a hard time remembering what happened. Maybe I was coming into this book with different expectations or it was not the right time. For those of fans of magical realism this might be something for you.

The book touches on a lot of heavy subjects: racism, colorism, abusive parents, mental health, alcoholism, misogyny. A reader cannot really avoid these since they're all part of the story so you may want to tread lightly.

Borrowed from the library and that was best for me. I'd say this one is skippable, though.

[Gracie · Rating 4 out of 5]

BIPOC teen, Gabrielle inherited the ability to change the color of her skin from her mother Tallulah, who inherited the ability from her mother.

Mother and daughter have a complicated relationship that is exacerbated by a controlling, misogynistic patriarch.

Tallulah might have once been something more than a stay-at-home mother before her husband stomped her passion beneath his mean-spirited boots.

Gabrielle is torn between loyalty to her mother and trying to fulfill her father's demands to go to medical school. Problem is, she doesn't want to study medicine; she wants to study music. Enter bold and confident Dominique, Gabrielle's queer music teacher who advises the teenager not just in playing the piano, but in succeeding in life as a female.

Then Tallulah suffers a mental health crisis that lands her in the hospital and leaves Gabrielle to fend for herself, difficult enough for any normal teen girl but even more difficult for a girl who is still learning how to control her passing.

Evocatively written, this is a story about gender roles, self-identity, male chauvinism and racism, with overarching themes of mother/daughter bonds, female empowerment and hope.

I really enjoyed this weird little book. The premise was unique, the protagonist relatable and her father was such a piece of work I couldn’t wait for him to meet his comeuppance.

[DOMINIQUE Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

I voluntarily read and reviewed a copy of this book. All thoughts and opinions are my own.

Background Info - Gabrielle’s mother Tallulah has always had the ability to change the color on her skin as was her mother and her grandmother before that. Gabrielle’s great grandmother was an Aniyunwiya witch who used her ability to change skin color to gather supplies and conduct trades.

This was fast read for me and I was hooked by chapter one. I was very intrigued. “This world wasn’t built for darker skin.” That was what Gabrielle was taught growing up. Gabrielle’s mom pretty much let her know she had to keep he skin white in appearance to appease her father. I didn’t like that Gabrielle’s father at all. He pretty much wanted everything “whitewashed” in his home. He constantly made fun of Tallulah and talked down about her to Gabrielle. I loved Gabrielle and Dom’s relationship. She was very supportive of her. Whether it was having someone there to clean her wounds to having support for her audition. She showed her the motherly and nurturing love that she need to survive in this harsh world.

Thank you Cocoa Chapters Promos & Tours and Catapult for the opportunity to read and review this book.

[Hues of Literature · Rating 3 out of 5]

Notes on Her Color by Jennifer Neal follows is a novel about Gabrielle who comes of age dealing with racism and the complicated relationship with her mother Tallulah and her volatile father. Living in a home devoid of any color, everything in their home has been bleached a cold white, Gabrielle discovers she can change the color of her skin like her mother based on the situation and environment.

This book was an emotional rollercoaster for me as I read how Gabrielle navigated the imploding relationship with her mother, addressed mental health crisis and her interactions with world around her. There are so many situations the main character finds herself in that echo many of the concerns with racism today. Learning how to control her passing, or temperament during uncomfortable and violent situations hits close to home for the black community.

Although I found this novel a bit slow and at times a bit strange, I appreciated the author using Gabrielle to discover the deep roots of racism through music and how it affects her relationship with her queer piano teacher, who provides her in depth black culture perspectives, and her family. It is imaginative yet challenging and thought provoking, thus I definitely think it is worth reading.

[dilta (hiatus TT) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I saw a tik tok review about this book and how a lot of things that happen in this book (eg. the father's colourism, Gabrielle and Tallulah's ability, how Gabrielle's trauma affects her, etc.) are not explained explicitly. But I think that's kind of the whole point of it... trauma and family dysfunction doesn't tend to happen in a cohesive manner that can be explained and articulates, but the intricacies of how that trauma affects a person are evident in the way that they interact with people and the environment. For me, the way trauma affected both Gabrielle and Tallulah were very clear in the way they existed within their worlds. Perhaps that kind of interpretation is only obvious to someone unfortunate enough to relate on a personal level. Who's to say that wasn't the whole point? Perhaps this story was just for us, the unfortunate, and that doesn't make it any less of a masterpiece. If anything, that makes it more of one.

[Jubilee · Rating 4 out of 5]

The idea that a young girl and her mother can change the color of their skin is what first intrigued me about this book. What kept me reading was the colorful and poetic language. I’ve always had an affinity for mother-daughter dynamics, so this story was right up my alley. But I wish I had gotten more depth about the origins of color changing. Also, there was so much to be fleshed out about the father’s upbringing and his relationship to his own skin tone. I guess I would have also liked the author to lean more into the magical realism of this story. The overall plot was fine, but I just wanted more. More exposition on the color changing, more father development, more magical realism. The best part of the book was Gabrielle, our shy and precocious protagonist. Parts of her life broke my heart. But my heart was mended by the end of the book. Overall, it was a warm and gentle story of love, music, and identity.

[Catherine · Rating 4 out of 5]

TW for this book, because I didn't see them mentioned anywhere before I started reading: sexual assault, family violence, physical and emotional abuse, suicide, mental illness

This book was slow to start, but the last quarter of it flew by for me. It felt like the entire first half of the book was an introduction - getting to know the characters and their lives, being introduced to the torturous home life that Gabrielle had to live through, and figuring out where the story was actually going. There was definitely a sense of redemption and satisfaction floating around me by the end, but there were also some fairly triggering scenes throughout the book that I struggled through. I wish I had been a bit more prepared for those scenes, but they weren't too hard to handle and they definitely made the ending more sweet.

[Meher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am fortunate to have stumbled across this book in a second hand shop.

The premise is intriguing, and the weaving of magical realism throughout the story was seamless.

Intergeneration trauma is a subject many still struggle to understand, however the author explores this effectively through her raw and captivating writing. It is at times brutal and difficult to read, however it would seem these feelings the author invokes in the reader is what lingers after finishing the book, which is no easy feat.

The challenging subjects of misogyny, intergenerational trauma, colourism & racism, queerness, mother daughter relationships are navigated expertly

The novel left me feeling bruised, yet hopeful.

[Wren · Rating 3 out of 5]

The first thing I noticed about this book is its writing style. It’s musical, captivating. It describes love and music and race and family in ways and in words I just adored. There were so many drop the mic moments and repostable quotes.

Deeper than that is the story of Gabrielle. And to be honest, I’m not the biggest fan. I think Gabrielle is an interesting character, and I’d love to see what happens to her after this book, but the plot of this book didn’t engage me the way I thought it would. And it isn’t because Gabrielle doesn’t change; she does, but her character development didn’t feel satisfying to me for some reason. And no I can’t put into words exactly why.

Also as someone who used to live in Florida, it cracks me up to see how many place names I recognize.

[Hannah Searles · Rating 4 out of 5]

"That’s when 'Play as if you have nothing to prove to anyone' became 'Play as if you have everything to prove and everybody hates you.' I understood that too."

Black and Indigenous teen Gabrielle's inheritance from her mother is the ability to shift the color of her skin, a double edged sword of a gift. Over the course of her gap year, she navigates her mother's mental health crisis and her father's cruelty while falling in love with her queer piano instructor Dominique in this lyrical, meditative piece on passing, mothers and daughters, and generational trauma.

Jennifer Neal's prose is absolutely gorgeous. Even when I wasn't totally sure what was going on, her writing managed to strike powerfully emotional chords. This is very much literary fiction and heavily character driven - I could see this being a fantastic candidate for studying in an academic setting like HS or college English. I was relieved that this was a book club choice for me because I felt like I got so much more out of being able to discuss it with others - especially because the ambiguity of the ending and certain events made me say "Wait, what?" and text someone to help figure out what was happening. I'll be honest - I don't read tons of literary fiction. But every once in a while, I love feeling stretched and challenged - and this definitely did that.

It's an ode to music, the complicated relationships between mothers and daughters, and a reflection on race and color and queerness in America. Weird, beautiful, and hard to look away from.

[Kellie Young · Rating 5 out of 5]

Notes on Her Color is an ode to the divinity of a Black and Indigenous woman’s battle for joy in magically executed prose. Gabrielle’s envisioning of the people in her immediate world radiates from the pages meeting the reader at the intersection of self destruction and self actualization. This story of intergenerational trauma brilliantly draws from what the world at-large demands violently from those subjected to the worst of humanity; is palpable to say the least. This story is all at once vibrant, shattering, beautiful and disastrous. I have already read it twice, and it is a story worth the experience of being read again, and again.

[JR · Rating 3 out of 5]

The imagery in this book is so vivid and beautiful at times but also made me wish there was a warning at the beginning. I did not realize the mental health crisis of the mother would include multiple suicide attempts. The way these attempts were described made me physically nauseous. Which tells you how well they were written. But as someone who has attempted suicide themself this was something I really which I had known going into the book versus finding out while I was reading it before bed.

Other than this I found the story very interesting and was always excited for the chapters with Dominique