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Leave Myself Behind #2
The Language of Love and Loss
Readers of Mad Honey will adore this clever, deeply touching, buoyant new novel from an award-winning author. When his difficult mother is diagnosed with ALS, a sharp-witted yet sensitive artist reluctantly returns to his New Hampshire hometown – and all the ghosts he left behind.
As it turns out, you can go home again. But sometimes, you really, really don’t want to . . .
Home, for Noah York, is Oakland, New Hampshire, the sleepy little town where Noah’s mother, Virginia, had a psychotic breakdown and Noah got beaten to a pulp as a teenager. Then there were the good times—and Noah’s not sure which ones are more painful to recall.
Now thirty-seven and eking out a living as an artist in Providence, Rhode Island, Noah looks much the same—and swears just as colorfully—as he did in high school. Virginia has become a wildly successful poet who made him the subject of her most famous poem, “The Lost Soul,” a label Noah will never live down. And J.D., the one who got away—because Noah stupidly drove him away—is in a loving marriage with a successful, attractive man whom Noah despises wholeheartedly.
Is it any surprise that Noah wishes he could ignore his mother’s summons to come visit?
But Virginia has shattering news to deliver, and a request he can’t refuse. Soon, Noah will track down the sister and extended family he never knew existed, try to keep his kleptomaniac cousin out of jail, feud with a belligerent neighbor, confront J.D.’s jealous husband—and face J.D. himself, the ache from Noah’s past that never fades. . . . All the while, contending with his brilliant, unpredictable mother.
Bittersweet, hilarious, and moving, and as unapologetically candid and unforgettable as Noah himself, The Language of Love and Loss is a story about growing older, getting lost—and finding your way back to the only truths that really matter.
As it turns out, you can go home again. But sometimes, you really, really don’t want to . . .
Home, for Noah York, is Oakland, New Hampshire, the sleepy little town where Noah’s mother, Virginia, had a psychotic breakdown and Noah got beaten to a pulp as a teenager. Then there were the good times—and Noah’s not sure which ones are more painful to recall.
Now thirty-seven and eking out a living as an artist in Providence, Rhode Island, Noah looks much the same—and swears just as colorfully—as he did in high school. Virginia has become a wildly successful poet who made him the subject of her most famous poem, “The Lost Soul,” a label Noah will never live down. And J.D., the one who got away—because Noah stupidly drove him away—is in a loving marriage with a successful, attractive man whom Noah despises wholeheartedly.
Is it any surprise that Noah wishes he could ignore his mother’s summons to come visit?
But Virginia has shattering news to deliver, and a request he can’t refuse. Soon, Noah will track down the sister and extended family he never knew existed, try to keep his kleptomaniac cousin out of jail, feud with a belligerent neighbor, confront J.D.’s jealous husband—and face J.D. himself, the ache from Noah’s past that never fades. . . . All the while, contending with his brilliant, unpredictable mother.
Bittersweet, hilarious, and moving, and as unapologetically candid and unforgettable as Noah himself, The Language of Love and Loss is a story about growing older, getting lost—and finding your way back to the only truths that really matter.
258 pages, Kindle Edition
Published May 23, 2023
76 people are currently reading
21739 people want to read
About the author
Bart Yates
8 books380 followersAuthor also writes as Noah Bly
Bart Yates was born in Cheyenne, WY, raised in Lamoni, IA, educated in Boston, MA, and now lives in Iowa City, IA, with the world's finest and most discerning cat.
In addition to writing, Yates is a musician, and plays clarinet, saxophone, and bass guitar.
His latest novel is THE VERY LONG, VERY STRANGE LIFE OF ISAAC DAHL, available in stores on July 23, 2024.
For personal blogs, reviews, and info about upcoming events, readers can visit his website: bartyates.com
Bart Yates was born in Cheyenne, WY, raised in Lamoni, IA, educated in Boston, MA, and now lives in Iowa City, IA, with the world's finest and most discerning cat.
In addition to writing, Yates is a musician, and plays clarinet, saxophone, and bass guitar.
His latest novel is THE VERY LONG, VERY STRANGE LIFE OF ISAAC DAHL, available in stores on July 23, 2024.
For personal blogs, reviews, and info about upcoming events, readers can visit his website: bartyates.com
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 220 reviews
February 21, 2023
***SPOILERS HIDDEN***
The Language of Love and Loss is filled to the brim with dramatic events, and this is both good and bad. So much drama means the pages turn themselves, but readers need to be willing to go with the flow and suspend disbelief while reading this lively realistic-fiction.
This is a sequel to Leave Myself Behind, in which protagonist Noah York is a teenager, but it's not necessary to have read that to enjoy this. In this book, many years have passed--Noah is now a thirty-seven-year-old painter whose life is defined by a yearning for his ex-boyfriend. While visiting his mother in New Hampshire, he learns she’s been diagnosed with a debilitating terminal illness--and she has a big ask: She wants him to put his life in Rhode Island on hold to live with her until she dies. Noah doesn’t have time to mull this over for long before a cascade of outlandish happenings crashes down full force.
Bart Yates’s brisk, down-to-earth writing is a pleasure to read. Plot-wise, however, The Language of Love and Loss reminded me of Wally Lamb's overstuffed books. It’s as if Yates wanted to really deliver on the lofty title; much of the love and loss in this book is big--life-altering, the kind that happens over the course of many years. But readers are asked to believe that in a single week, a family The number of climactic events stands out as outrageous early on, even as all that drama held me rapt.
As the narrator, Noah has a likable voice and a snappy wit to rival that of Lorelai Gilmore. He isn’t fully likable as a character, though, and this kept me from loving The Language of Love and Loss. Yates positioned Noah as the darling of this story. The character can do no wrong it seems--except that he does do wrong. He’s emotionally immature, shallow, and a little selfish, . He acknowledges difficulty being diplomatic in tense situations but doesn’t care much and makes no apology for it. And in certain scenes, especially those showing him interacting with his ex-boyfriend’s husband, he’s an unabashed jerk. If intended as three-dimensional characterization of a flawed man, all this unpleasantness would be understandable, a shot of realism in this realistic fiction, but the story never casts a critical eye on this character’s flaws. Noah’s lack of introspection and growth, combined with caricaturish portrayals of his enemies, signals that Yates saw nothing problematic about his protagonist.
Nevertheless, The Language of Love and Loss has definite positives. In general, despite the seriousness of much of the drama, the story is touching. More specifically, the mother-son dynamic is strikingly realistic and could be its best feature. The reader is told that the mother, Virginia, carries significant psychological baggage. . Such trauma has left her with a temper she can’t always control, which Noah describes when recounting past conflicts between the two. But on the whole, Virginia and Noah’s relationship is playfully loving, as evidenced by the special language they speak: frequent sarcasm and joking that ping-pongs effortlessly between them. These characters ring true-to-life. The small-town feel of the story, with people dropping by and being welcomed into Virginia’s home is charming and cozy. The love between Noah and his ex-boyfriend is vividly portrayed and emotional. Yates is a talented writer and obviously a perceptive observer of everyday life and human interaction. This is a book about regular people--no thrills, no twists, just a week-in-the-life story with heart.
NOTE: I received this as an Advance Reader Copy from Goodreads in February 2023.
The Language of Love and Loss is filled to the brim with dramatic events, and this is both good and bad. So much drama means the pages turn themselves, but readers need to be willing to go with the flow and suspend disbelief while reading this lively realistic-fiction.
This is a sequel to Leave Myself Behind, in which protagonist Noah York is a teenager, but it's not necessary to have read that to enjoy this. In this book, many years have passed--Noah is now a thirty-seven-year-old painter whose life is defined by a yearning for his ex-boyfriend. While visiting his mother in New Hampshire, he learns she’s been diagnosed with a debilitating terminal illness--and she has a big ask: She wants him to put his life in Rhode Island on hold to live with her until she dies. Noah doesn’t have time to mull this over for long before a cascade of outlandish happenings crashes down full force.
Bart Yates’s brisk, down-to-earth writing is a pleasure to read. Plot-wise, however, The Language of Love and Loss reminded me of Wally Lamb's overstuffed books. It’s as if Yates wanted to really deliver on the lofty title; much of the love and loss in this book is big--life-altering, the kind that happens over the course of many years. But readers are asked to believe that in a single week, a family The number of climactic events stands out as outrageous early on, even as all that drama held me rapt.
As the narrator, Noah has a likable voice and a snappy wit to rival that of Lorelai Gilmore. He isn’t fully likable as a character, though, and this kept me from loving The Language of Love and Loss. Yates positioned Noah as the darling of this story. The character can do no wrong it seems--except that he does do wrong. He’s emotionally immature, shallow, and a little selfish, . He acknowledges difficulty being diplomatic in tense situations but doesn’t care much and makes no apology for it. And in certain scenes, especially those showing him interacting with his ex-boyfriend’s husband, he’s an unabashed jerk. If intended as three-dimensional characterization of a flawed man, all this unpleasantness would be understandable, a shot of realism in this realistic fiction, but the story never casts a critical eye on this character’s flaws. Noah’s lack of introspection and growth, combined with caricaturish portrayals of his enemies, signals that Yates saw nothing problematic about his protagonist.
Nevertheless, The Language of Love and Loss has definite positives. In general, despite the seriousness of much of the drama, the story is touching. More specifically, the mother-son dynamic is strikingly realistic and could be its best feature. The reader is told that the mother, Virginia, carries significant psychological baggage. . Such trauma has left her with a temper she can’t always control, which Noah describes when recounting past conflicts between the two. But on the whole, Virginia and Noah’s relationship is playfully loving, as evidenced by the special language they speak: frequent sarcasm and joking that ping-pongs effortlessly between them. These characters ring true-to-life. The small-town feel of the story, with people dropping by and being welcomed into Virginia’s home is charming and cozy. The love between Noah and his ex-boyfriend is vividly portrayed and emotional. Yates is a talented writer and obviously a perceptive observer of everyday life and human interaction. This is a book about regular people--no thrills, no twists, just a week-in-the-life story with heart.
NOTE: I received this as an Advance Reader Copy from Goodreads in February 2023.
July 8, 2023
Breathtakingly beautiful. Wow, this book truly tugged at my heart. 80% of it was hilarious and made me laugh at the back and forth between the main character and his mom and ex. However, the bittersweet and sad moments really hit you hard. So eye-opening and beautiful. Truly shows the meaning of love and loss but also family, whether that means by blood or not. Loved this. I give this 4.5 to 5 stars, so choosing 5 stars as it doesnt allow half star ratings!
I won this book from a Goodreads Giveaway. All of statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
I won this book from a Goodreads Giveaway. All of statements above are my true opinions after fully reading this book.
October 30, 2022
I knew I was going to love this book, after reading the first sentence in chapter one, "The next time Mom wants me to come home, remind me why I'd rather roast my own balls over a campfire."
Noah, 37 year old, artist travels from Providence to his childhood home in Oakland where his 'difficult' mother, and oh so famous writer/poet of a mother resides and she's none other than Virginia York. He's clearly not pleased to be home, but he's there and what follows is a trip down memory lane, and him having to face his past mistakes.
I love Noah's sense of humor and when he meets his nephew, Leo, somewhere along the story line- then those two made this book a laugh out loud kinda book for me.
When I got to the end, I learned that it's a stand-alone sequel, but for what it's worth, it lives up to the title, because there is a way in which each character faces their fears, mistakes and above all...their hopes and desires for the future that made this the kind of book that feels like family, where everyone is imperfect but they are always welcome.
Thanks Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC
Noah, 37 year old, artist travels from Providence to his childhood home in Oakland where his 'difficult' mother, and oh so famous writer/poet of a mother resides and she's none other than Virginia York. He's clearly not pleased to be home, but he's there and what follows is a trip down memory lane, and him having to face his past mistakes.
I love Noah's sense of humor and when he meets his nephew, Leo, somewhere along the story line- then those two made this book a laugh out loud kinda book for me.
When I got to the end, I learned that it's a stand-alone sequel, but for what it's worth, it lives up to the title, because there is a way in which each character faces their fears, mistakes and above all...their hopes and desires for the future that made this the kind of book that feels like family, where everyone is imperfect but they are always welcome.
Thanks Netgalley and the publisher for the eARC
December 22, 2023
My first read from Yates was a goddamn masterpiece, so I'm sitting here flummoxed that this one went so far off the rails. It was quickly clear that this was no Bishop, but it held its own for a while. Then somewhere around midway, it fell apart and stopped holding much of anything at all.
The setup was interesting, but the evolution of the plot was absurd, with everyone conveniently convening in the same place at once like an episode of Jerry Springer. And in keeping with that analogy, they came together to create a vacuum that devoured emotional IQ points at a rapid clip, resulting in immature, unrealistic behavior and stilted dialogue and narrative. If someone wasn't grinning (56x), they were crying (I lost count) or awkwardly touching someone else's hand/arm/wrist/shoulder/repeat. The banter attempted humor, and landed a couple of times, but usually fell flat. Characters would laugh heartily so you’d know it was supposed to be funny, but in reality no one would have laughed at that unless they were being weirdly polite.
The relationship between the MC and his mom held a lot of personality and potential, and kept me reading despite the issues. And the author did create some sexy tension between the MC and his ex/first lover. But sadly, these couldn't carry the story, and while I did finish it, I'd lost any real feeling of investment in how it would all turn out.
The setup was interesting, but the evolution of the plot was absurd, with everyone conveniently convening in the same place at once like an episode of Jerry Springer. And in keeping with that analogy, they came together to create a vacuum that devoured emotional IQ points at a rapid clip, resulting in immature, unrealistic behavior and stilted dialogue and narrative. If someone wasn't grinning (56x), they were crying (I lost count) or awkwardly touching someone else's hand/arm/wrist/shoulder/repeat. The banter attempted humor, and landed a couple of times, but usually fell flat. Characters would laugh heartily so you’d know it was supposed to be funny, but in reality no one would have laughed at that unless they were being weirdly polite.
The relationship between the MC and his mom held a lot of personality and potential, and kept me reading despite the issues. And the author did create some sexy tension between the MC and his ex/first lover. But sadly, these couldn't carry the story, and while I did finish it, I'd lost any real feeling of investment in how it would all turn out.
June 18, 2023
This book was an absolute pleasure to read. It made me happy and sad. It made me laugh and tear up and it made me think. I loved that the characters, which were very clearly described, made me like them and in some ways I could understand them just as if they were people I knew, maybe because some of them did remind me of people I actually knew.
Noah is a screw up, and a bit self-destructive and has been all of his life. He refuses to return to Oakland, New Hampshire and his Mother for more than a short visit because they always clash and drive each other mad, but now Virginia has a serious health issue and Noah is torn between being the good son who will lose his mind in Oakland and being the selfish s.o.b. who returns to Providence. Now add his Aunt and her adopted daughter into the short visit mix and oh, yes, Virginia’s lost daughter and her family and Noah’s ex-boyfriend and his husband and Virginia’s boyfriend and the surly next door neighbor with the wandering cocker spaniel and you have a delightful strange story that will pull you in and make you want, somehow, someway, a happy ending for everyone.
This book surprised and delighted me as I read it. I’m sitting here writing my review and smiling and shaking my head. I just loved this book.
I won this ARC in a First Reads giveaway. Thank you to Kensington Books and huge thank you to the author, Bart Yates, for keeping me entertained for the entire story.
Noah is a screw up, and a bit self-destructive and has been all of his life. He refuses to return to Oakland, New Hampshire and his Mother for more than a short visit because they always clash and drive each other mad, but now Virginia has a serious health issue and Noah is torn between being the good son who will lose his mind in Oakland and being the selfish s.o.b. who returns to Providence. Now add his Aunt and her adopted daughter into the short visit mix and oh, yes, Virginia’s lost daughter and her family and Noah’s ex-boyfriend and his husband and Virginia’s boyfriend and the surly next door neighbor with the wandering cocker spaniel and you have a delightful strange story that will pull you in and make you want, somehow, someway, a happy ending for everyone.
This book surprised and delighted me as I read it. I’m sitting here writing my review and smiling and shaking my head. I just loved this book.
I won this ARC in a First Reads giveaway. Thank you to Kensington Books and huge thank you to the author, Bart Yates, for keeping me entertained for the entire story.
March 20, 2025
Fun and funny, surprisingly so. I definitely want to read more from Yates.
I’ve had this lurking in the depths of my ereader for long enough that I no longer remember why I bought it. I’d read the opening paragraphs a few times, but despite the engaging voice, never made it past that because the description never made it clear to me whether it was the light-hearted read I was looking for, or was going to veer into one of those gay-pain type narratives.
But a month or so back I made it all the way through the first chapter before setting it aside for something else, and the other night it just felt easier to go back to this than go through all the effort of sifting through my collection to pick the next read. I’m very glad I did.
It’s not a gay-pain novel, thankfully, but don’t mistake it for a romance either. Noah’s relationship with his now married ex is not the focus of the novel, and his attitude toward sex will not please those readers of m/m who seem to want idealized men instead of realistic ones. This deals with family more broadly, Noah’s relationship with his mother, and some extended family he’s never met before. I generally prefer my protagonists to be orphans, but this worked well for me.
There’s a lot of drama, including some dark stuff in their past, but the humor and sarcasm keep the overall atmosphere light, and I was very happy with how Yates tied things off.
Not until I reached the promotional material after the end of the novel, did I realize this was a standalone sequel to Yates’ 2003 YA novel Leave Myself Behind. You don’t need to read that one first, but I’m looking forward to Noah and J.D.’s teen years.
I’ve had this lurking in the depths of my ereader for long enough that I no longer remember why I bought it. I’d read the opening paragraphs a few times, but despite the engaging voice, never made it past that because the description never made it clear to me whether it was the light-hearted read I was looking for, or was going to veer into one of those gay-pain type narratives.
But a month or so back I made it all the way through the first chapter before setting it aside for something else, and the other night it just felt easier to go back to this than go through all the effort of sifting through my collection to pick the next read. I’m very glad I did.
It’s not a gay-pain novel, thankfully, but don’t mistake it for a romance either. Noah’s relationship with his now married ex is not the focus of the novel, and his attitude toward sex will not please those readers of m/m who seem to want idealized men instead of realistic ones. This deals with family more broadly, Noah’s relationship with his mother, and some extended family he’s never met before. I generally prefer my protagonists to be orphans, but this worked well for me.
There’s a lot of drama, including some dark stuff in their past, but the humor and sarcasm keep the overall atmosphere light, and I was very happy with how Yates tied things off.
Not until I reached the promotional material after the end of the novel, did I realize this was a standalone sequel to Yates’ 2003 YA novel Leave Myself Behind. You don’t need to read that one first, but I’m looking forward to Noah and J.D.’s teen years.
April 2, 2024
When I picked this for book club, I had no idea it was a sequel. Thankfully, this totally works as a standalone. I knew I'd like it based on the first sentence, "The next time Mom wants me to come home, remind me why I’d rather roast my own balls over a campfire."
The main character of Noah is a fuck up and not that likable, yet he has a great sense of humor and somehow we root for him. He has a difficult relationship with his mother, who reveals her ALS diagnosis. Thankfully, the book doesn't focus on her illness. As a book club member said, a lot happens in a week. And somehow it all works! This has lots of humor and heart.
The main character of Noah is a fuck up and not that likable, yet he has a great sense of humor and somehow we root for him. He has a difficult relationship with his mother, who reveals her ALS diagnosis. Thankfully, the book doesn't focus on her illness. As a book club member said, a lot happens in a week. And somehow it all works! This has lots of humor and heart.
July 13, 2023
I'd read a preview of Nate and his mother, Virginia from Amazon Kindle. I was disappointed because the story was more about Nate and J.D. I wanted to know more about Virginia and Nate
Want to read
June 11, 2024I just received my GR giveaway copy, and if the rest of the book lives up to the first chapter then I will be very happy. Clever and funny.
December 18, 2022
The Language of Love and Loss by Bart Yates is a wonderful blend of comedy, drama and heartfelt emotion. It was my first book by this author and I picked it up not knowing that it was a sequel to his earlier book Leave Myself Behind but I was pleased to find that it read exceptionally well as a standalone and I did not feel like I was missing out by not having read the previous book. That being said I enjoyed this one so much that I have added Leave Myself Behind to my TBR and I look forward to revisiting these wonderful characters.
The focus of the book is struggling artist Noah York who returns to visit his mother only to learn that she has been diagnosed with ALS. While she has had time to come to terms with the diagnosis, it comes as something of a shock to Noah, as do the two requests she makes of him - to consider moving back home so that they can spend more of the time she has left together and to help her to find the daughter she was forced to give up for adoption when she was only a child herself. As if this was not enough to make Noah's head spin, he also finds himself face to face with the one who got away, his first love JD, now a married to another man which makes the fact that Noah still has feelings for him even more awkward.
This is a book where the characters are at the heart , and I really fell in love with the family that the author has created. The relationships are unusual, but in a wonderful way and I love the banter and teasing between them. The book is not all sweetness and laughter however, and the author explores some dark topics including sexual abuse and homophobic violence, so reader be warned.
Overall I really enjoyed this book and would definitely recommend it .
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.
The focus of the book is struggling artist Noah York who returns to visit his mother only to learn that she has been diagnosed with ALS. While she has had time to come to terms with the diagnosis, it comes as something of a shock to Noah, as do the two requests she makes of him - to consider moving back home so that they can spend more of the time she has left together and to help her to find the daughter she was forced to give up for adoption when she was only a child herself. As if this was not enough to make Noah's head spin, he also finds himself face to face with the one who got away, his first love JD, now a married to another man which makes the fact that Noah still has feelings for him even more awkward.
This is a book where the characters are at the heart , and I really fell in love with the family that the author has created. The relationships are unusual, but in a wonderful way and I love the banter and teasing between them. The book is not all sweetness and laughter however, and the author explores some dark topics including sexual abuse and homophobic violence, so reader be warned.
Overall I really enjoyed this book and would definitely recommend it .
I read and reviewed an ARC courtesy of NetGalley and the publisher, all opinions are my own.
February 7, 2023
4.5 stars, rounded up. WHEW this book was a whirlwind - there was so much packed into a rather small book, but I had such a fun time reading this! Noah York might be one of my favorite characters of all time. His sense of humor and pessimism is right up my alley, and I related so much to his self-deprecation. He was chaotic, charming, and self-destructive in the best possible ways, while also growing as a person throughout the story. The book hit on a lot of heavy themes, and the author handled these all with a ton of heart and a splash of humor (seriously, this book was SO funny). This was a story about second chances and finding family and love when you need it most. This book has everything: romance, rekindled family, and plenty of drama to go around. If you're looking for a quick read packed with plenty of wit and all the emotions, give this one a try!
April 23, 2023
Oh the drama!!
First of all, after reading the question guide I found out this book is a standalone but also a sequel to another book called Leave Myself Behind. It’s set back about 20 years, but follows Noah and J.D.’s story so now I want to read that! Only because I absolutely loved the two of them in this story.
I think Noah may or may not be one of my favorite main characters. Yes, he definitely hides his guilt and feelings with dark humor, but I thought he was hilarious. The dynamic between him and his mom really fit together. The book was quick and very entertaining, but does touch in some heavy topics. (Nothing Noah’s humor can’t fix though). I think the ending is predictable, but everything came together in the end. I wouldn’t be mad if the book was longer.
First of all, after reading the question guide I found out this book is a standalone but also a sequel to another book called Leave Myself Behind. It’s set back about 20 years, but follows Noah and J.D.’s story so now I want to read that! Only because I absolutely loved the two of them in this story.
I think Noah may or may not be one of my favorite main characters. Yes, he definitely hides his guilt and feelings with dark humor, but I thought he was hilarious. The dynamic between him and his mom really fit together. The book was quick and very entertaining, but does touch in some heavy topics. (Nothing Noah’s humor can’t fix though). I think the ending is predictable, but everything came together in the end. I wouldn’t be mad if the book was longer.
December 21, 2025
Wat schrijft Bart Yates fantastisch. Met humor, nuchterheid en compassie volgt hij het leven van Noah, zo'n 20 jaar na Leave Myself Behind. Er zijn HEA's, drama's en hilarische gebeurtenissen, maar het geheel is toch minder diepgaand dan de voorganger. Misschien omdat er juist te veel gebeurt en er te veel eindjes aan elkaar geknoopt moeten worden op het einde. Of misschien omdat de volwassen Noah een minder plezierig karakter is dan de tiener Noah. Ik weet het niet. Het is zeker geen slap aftreksel of een teleurstellend boek - integendeel, ik ben blij dat ik het gelezen heb en ik heb ervan genoten en ik houd van Bart Yates. Het is enkel dat Leave Myself Behind met aanzienlijk minder personages me meer raakte.
August 15, 2023
I must admit I started this book and decided it wasn't for me and set it aside. Maybe I wasn't in the mood for that brand of humour or misunderstood the ambiance of the first pages. For some reason I picked it up again a day later and happily gobbled it up. Noah is probably not my favourite kind of character, acerbic and self-punishing and hard to root for some of the time, but I loved how the story built into a house-full of random characters dealing with increasingly outrageous situations that climaxes perfectly. It sometimes felt like a roller coaster that you never agreed to go on, but found exhilarating against your better judgement. Fun. Touching. Silly. Unexpected. Romantic. Sweet.
October 27, 2023
Worth a read
An entertaining read. Definitely raises a smile. Its not deep but it is funny (just my opinion). Perfect for a quick read
An entertaining read. Definitely raises a smile. Its not deep but it is funny (just my opinion). Perfect for a quick read
January 29, 2023
Thank you to Netgalley and the publisher for an e-arc in exchange for an honest review.
I settled on a 3.75 for this, rounded up of course!
I wanted to start this by saying that Leave Myself Behind means a lot to me. It came out when I was in high school, which was when I read it. I could relate to it a lot, being a teenage queer person in one of the tiniest towns around. And now, like Noah, I am in my 30s. Even though this is a standalone sequel, the nostalgia factor is there. I missed Noah, Virginia, and J.D. I think they are great, intriguing, endearing characters.
This book is a lot different than Leave Myself Behind, though. It focuses a lot more on familial issues that Virginia and Noah are going through. I thought that it was done really well, while incorporating other information about the three main characters' lives.
I only really rated this book this way for two reasons -
1) I wanted a bit more! I know that this could be because I zoomed through the arc because I wanted to know EVERYTHING. That's what happens when you come back to some of your favorite characters after there is a 20 year gap.
2) There was some offensive language that Noah never really grew out of. In the early 2000s when the first book was written and the MC was in high school, it was more accepted (though obviously not ok) but now some things should be obvious. If you read this book, be aware that you'll see the word sp*z (and sp*stic) a couple times. There's also bulimia joke. Noah makes a lot of sarcastic comments and jokes. Most of them are fine. But be aware of those ones!
TW for past incest/sexual abuse (not on page).
I settled on a 3.75 for this, rounded up of course!
I wanted to start this by saying that Leave Myself Behind means a lot to me. It came out when I was in high school, which was when I read it. I could relate to it a lot, being a teenage queer person in one of the tiniest towns around. And now, like Noah, I am in my 30s. Even though this is a standalone sequel, the nostalgia factor is there. I missed Noah, Virginia, and J.D. I think they are great, intriguing, endearing characters.
This book is a lot different than Leave Myself Behind, though. It focuses a lot more on familial issues that Virginia and Noah are going through. I thought that it was done really well, while incorporating other information about the three main characters' lives.
I only really rated this book this way for two reasons -
1) I wanted a bit more! I know that this could be because I zoomed through the arc because I wanted to know EVERYTHING. That's what happens when you come back to some of your favorite characters after there is a 20 year gap.
2) There was some offensive language that Noah never really grew out of. In the early 2000s when the first book was written and the MC was in high school, it was more accepted (though obviously not ok) but now some things should be obvious. If you read this book, be aware that you'll see the word sp*z (and sp*stic) a couple times. There's also bulimia joke. Noah makes a lot of sarcastic comments and jokes. Most of them are fine. But be aware of those ones!
TW for past incest/sexual abuse (not on page).
October 16, 2023
The Language of Love and Loss was a fantastic sequel that transcended the original work, Leave Myself Behind. It works as a standalone, but it's so much better having read both.
Noah York is back, and he's as bitter, cynical, and sarcastic as he's always been, if not more jaded at this period in his life. He's lost J.D. (which had me absolutely heartbroken), he feels empty, his mother has MS, and he's stuck. Noah was both immature and grown up at the same time as a teenager. He had to be. It was an absolute joy watching him continue his journey into discovering who he really is and embracing that person.
We got new characters -- all complex and layered in their own different ways. Noah's aunt and cousin, Virginia's daughter's family -- including Noah's nephew, Leo (who was just wonderful). They all added so much to the plot and really explored the "dysfunctional family" dynamic.
Let me just say that I was beyond thrilled to have J.D. return. I loved him in Leave Myself Behind, and he came back kinder than ever.
Noah showed so much growth throughout the book and it really made a great point that we're always evolving, no matter our age.
I was very happy with the ending and resolutions that we got. The book covered heavy topics, but did so with Noah's trademark levity and dark humor. It was short, but a lot happened. Sometimes books don't need sequels. They feel almost unnecessary. This is not one of those books. It was a joy to read.
Noah York is back, and he's as bitter, cynical, and sarcastic as he's always been, if not more jaded at this period in his life. He's lost J.D. (which had me absolutely heartbroken), he feels empty, his mother has MS, and he's stuck. Noah was both immature and grown up at the same time as a teenager. He had to be. It was an absolute joy watching him continue his journey into discovering who he really is and embracing that person.
We got new characters -- all complex and layered in their own different ways. Noah's aunt and cousin, Virginia's daughter's family -- including Noah's nephew, Leo (who was just wonderful). They all added so much to the plot and really explored the "dysfunctional family" dynamic.
Let me just say that I was beyond thrilled to have J.D. return. I loved him in Leave Myself Behind, and he came back kinder than ever.
Noah showed so much growth throughout the book and it really made a great point that we're always evolving, no matter our age.
I was very happy with the ending and resolutions that we got. The book covered heavy topics, but did so with Noah's trademark levity and dark humor. It was short, but a lot happened. Sometimes books don't need sequels. They feel almost unnecessary. This is not one of those books. It was a joy to read.
June 24, 2024
I am a "First Reads" winner. Thank you to the publisher and author.
There's a lot of heavy drama and even more weightier topics in 'The Language of Love and Loss,' but Yates pulls it all off and delivers a satisfying and delightful read. I'm looking forward to the sequel and to reading more from Yates.
A recommended read!
There's a lot of heavy drama and even more weightier topics in 'The Language of Love and Loss,' but Yates pulls it all off and delivers a satisfying and delightful read. I'm looking forward to the sequel and to reading more from Yates.
A recommended read!
May 23, 2023
The Language of Love and Loss by Bart Yates ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Noah York hates his hometown, where he got beat up and also lost his boyfriend, JD. Now he has come home to bad news and contends with an angry neighbor, JD’s new husband, a kleptomaniac cousin, and an extended family he never knew about.
If you love witty and sarcastic characters, you’ll love this book. You get a dose of the sarcasm pretty much on every page and it’s hilarious. There’s also a cute dog, LGBT rep, a possible second chance romance, and a long-lost adoptive daughter. All that makes for a very entertaining read.
“Honesty may be a virtue, but it’s also a cold hearted son of a bitch, capable of flaying the skin off your soul.”
The Language of Love and Loss comes out 5/23.
Noah York hates his hometown, where he got beat up and also lost his boyfriend, JD. Now he has come home to bad news and contends with an angry neighbor, JD’s new husband, a kleptomaniac cousin, and an extended family he never knew about.
If you love witty and sarcastic characters, you’ll love this book. You get a dose of the sarcasm pretty much on every page and it’s hilarious. There’s also a cute dog, LGBT rep, a possible second chance romance, and a long-lost adoptive daughter. All that makes for a very entertaining read.
“Honesty may be a virtue, but it’s also a cold hearted son of a bitch, capable of flaying the skin off your soul.”
The Language of Love and Loss comes out 5/23.
June 16, 2025
This book utilized one of my least favorite plot devices of all time (cheating) and if I wouldn't have been 85% in already I would've quit. Plus it spent way too much time on Noah and JD's 'tortured romance' subplot when I was far more interested in the family drama plotlines. That ending was very lit-fic in a way I didn't enjoy. And far too much toilet humor and fart jokes for a book whose main character is 37 years old.
October 16, 2023
This was a whole lot better than I'd hoped. The MC, like his mom, expresses love in insults much of the time, so anyone who doesn't understand sarcasm won't get the humor. It is a whole lot of family drama packed into few days, and throughout, Noah misses his ex. I really love how it ends, although again, some readers won't. I'm very likely to be reading more by this author.
March 16, 2024
I was hooked after the first sentence, and laughed and cried through the rest. It's a sweet and witty story of the love that connects a family even when they are strangers to one another. I had a hard time picturing the main character as 37, he seemed more like 27 to me. Also, could've used a trigger warning for a mention of childhood sexual abuse.
September 12, 2025
This is a good read!
There sre so many books about gay men and their mothers—all of them cliched and dreary. This is completely different: a relationship between adults that is touching, funny, and so very loving.
Thank you for writing this Bart Yates! It’s a winner (I’ve never given any book 5 stars).
There sre so many books about gay men and their mothers—all of them cliched and dreary. This is completely different: a relationship between adults that is touching, funny, and so very loving.
Thank you for writing this Bart Yates! It’s a winner (I’ve never given any book 5 stars).
April 26, 2024
This had everything I needed in a book. Easy read, great narrator, funny, gay, terminal illness, the usual.
March 12, 2025
I loved this Book. Could hardly stand to put it down. I loved pretty much everything about it: the characters, the humor, the story and the ending. A feel good story without being pie in the sky.
September 18, 2023
4.5 stars
December 14, 2023
There is much to like in this book, and the beginning chapters are its strongest argument for quality. The character of the poet-mother is complicated, and the scenes in which Noah arrives for his visit, learns the news about her health, and reawakens his feelings for his old home town, are fine work. The novel is an exploration of family, trauma, and the collisions involved in this territory. Nothing in the book breaks much new ground but the writing is clear and insightful and a bit daring. Noah, the protagonist, learns that his mother wants to find the daughter who was given away in adoption when she was twelve years old - a shocking age for a girl to give birth. Her own father is the father of her child. This was enough to keep me reading. The ensuing entanglements don't stop there but spread out through the blood family and the chosen family. There are some very good scenes where all this explodes, as one might expect. All the complications are well chosen and well handled, though I won't go into them all. But the problem here is Noah himself, who is an often nasty piece of work, both in his thoughts, which drive the book, and in his behavior. I disliked him from the beginning, softened toward him in the early chapters, but went back to disliking him in the middle and end. This is not the usual problem of a character who is written to be imperfect and I certainly don't need to admire all the protagonists of books I read. But Noah is not really examined, and the book is written much as if he were three inches from my nose chattering away. When his old flame leaves his husband and comes back to him I felt myself cheering for the husband and a little sorry that something good happened to Noah. Maybe I'm just irritable because it's Christmas.
April 3, 2023
I suspect this novel will get a lot of harsh judgement based on the inclusion of some vulgarities and other 'inappropriate' language. All largely rooted in the times we live in. An important distinction however that we, as readers, often forget is 'author's voice' vs 'character voice'.
As far as the authors voice, BY writing is brisk and effortless. His narrative draws you in and as a result the novel is a page turner.
I would be lying if I said The Yorks are not a family after my own heart. Deeply troubled relationship between mother and son, often clashing, the son seeking independence but also craving recognition and approval. BY renders perfectly the style of their communication with their sarcasm and cynicism filled banter indicating intimacy and intelligence.
I appreciate the depiction of characters that are unconcerned with being judged based on the political or social climate they exist in. It is our role as a reader to decide if we find them likeable or not based on these and other qualities.
As far as the plot, there is a lot that has been packed into these 200 pages, at times it feels way too much. At one point "The Language ..." even ventures into a soap opera territory. Characters become so sad and pathetic but in a strange way also endearing, and the smallest of events blow up to nearly life altering proportions. Are these deal breaker, heck no!
This book is a fun, emotions filled ride and overall a great entertainment.
*access to ARC given via NetGalley
As far as the authors voice, BY writing is brisk and effortless. His narrative draws you in and as a result the novel is a page turner.
I would be lying if I said The Yorks are not a family after my own heart. Deeply troubled relationship between mother and son, often clashing, the son seeking independence but also craving recognition and approval. BY renders perfectly the style of their communication with their sarcasm and cynicism filled banter indicating intimacy and intelligence.
I appreciate the depiction of characters that are unconcerned with being judged based on the political or social climate they exist in. It is our role as a reader to decide if we find them likeable or not based on these and other qualities.
As far as the plot, there is a lot that has been packed into these 200 pages, at times it feels way too much. At one point "The Language ..." even ventures into a soap opera territory. Characters become so sad and pathetic but in a strange way also endearing, and the smallest of events blow up to nearly life altering proportions. Are these deal breaker, heck no!
This book is a fun, emotions filled ride and overall a great entertainment.
*access to ARC given via NetGalley
June 4, 2023
Expertly written, fantastic, emotional roller coaster
Noah York is a hot mess. And I love him.
The long awaited follow up to Leave Myself Behind is not just well worth it. It might well be one of those perfect books you love, and never quite are able to put down from your mind. I never put down the first one either.
I found myself grinning and laughing and holding back emotions so many times. These characters have such definition to them they could be oil paintings I’m looking at.
The first novel had such complex trauma and devastation I was a little worried to learn anything bad about their lives now that so many years passed. Although things certainly have piled on them, and some insanely complicated issues arise, the love these people share wins out over the loss of childhood, horrific parent issues, adoption regrets, aging, and love lost through bad choices.
In the end, this shows that the love you take is truly equal to the love you make in the world.
Noah York is a hot mess. And I love him.
The long awaited follow up to Leave Myself Behind is not just well worth it. It might well be one of those perfect books you love, and never quite are able to put down from your mind. I never put down the first one either.
I found myself grinning and laughing and holding back emotions so many times. These characters have such definition to them they could be oil paintings I’m looking at.
The first novel had such complex trauma and devastation I was a little worried to learn anything bad about their lives now that so many years passed. Although things certainly have piled on them, and some insanely complicated issues arise, the love these people share wins out over the loss of childhood, horrific parent issues, adoption regrets, aging, and love lost through bad choices.
In the end, this shows that the love you take is truly equal to the love you make in the world.
July 3, 2023
I just need some time to bask in the sheer perfection of this sweet book. 🫶🏻
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