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Reverse Meditation: How to Use Your Pain and Most Difficult Emotions as the Doorway to Inner Freedom
Disruptive practices to revolutionize your relationship with meditation and fully engage with the full breadth of your experience.
Why do we meditate? The main reason most modern people start meditating is because it helps us feel better—reducing anxiety, improving sleep, decluttering the mind, and so forth. “But where does your meditation go when things go bad?” asks Andrew Holecek. “Where is your spirituality when ‘rock meets bone,’ as they say in Tibet—when the crap hits the fan?”
Reverse Meditation is for anyone who wants to bring the challenges of life onto the path of awakening. When things get hard, it’s time to turn your practice on its head—and throw out any assumption that meditation exists to insulate you from the confusion, difficulties, and uncertainty of life. “By putting your meditation into reverse,” Holecek teaches, “you’ll actually find yourself going forward. Step into your pain and you can step up your evolution.”
With his signature blend of depth and accessibility, Holecek invites you to
• Three core forms of meditation—mindfulness, open awareness, and the boundary-smashing reverse meditations
• How to know when you’re ready to engage with reverse meditation
• On-the-spot practices for snapping into a meditative mindset in difficult situations
• Contraction and expansion—how to dismantle habits of avoidance to become more open, resilient, and fully alive
• How reverse meditation opens you to a direct experience of the fundamental perfection of reality—just as it is
“These unique meditations are designed to reverse our relationship to unwanted experiences, which means going directly into them instead of avoiding them,” says Andrew Holecek. “It’s not an easy journey—yet this path leads to the discovery of unconditional happiness, basic goodness, and true freedom in the most turbulent situations.”
Why do we meditate? The main reason most modern people start meditating is because it helps us feel better—reducing anxiety, improving sleep, decluttering the mind, and so forth. “But where does your meditation go when things go bad?” asks Andrew Holecek. “Where is your spirituality when ‘rock meets bone,’ as they say in Tibet—when the crap hits the fan?”
Reverse Meditation is for anyone who wants to bring the challenges of life onto the path of awakening. When things get hard, it’s time to turn your practice on its head—and throw out any assumption that meditation exists to insulate you from the confusion, difficulties, and uncertainty of life. “By putting your meditation into reverse,” Holecek teaches, “you’ll actually find yourself going forward. Step into your pain and you can step up your evolution.”
With his signature blend of depth and accessibility, Holecek invites you to
• Three core forms of meditation—mindfulness, open awareness, and the boundary-smashing reverse meditations
• How to know when you’re ready to engage with reverse meditation
• On-the-spot practices for snapping into a meditative mindset in difficult situations
• Contraction and expansion—how to dismantle habits of avoidance to become more open, resilient, and fully alive
• How reverse meditation opens you to a direct experience of the fundamental perfection of reality—just as it is
“These unique meditations are designed to reverse our relationship to unwanted experiences, which means going directly into them instead of avoiding them,” says Andrew Holecek. “It’s not an easy journey—yet this path leads to the discovery of unconditional happiness, basic goodness, and true freedom in the most turbulent situations.”
242 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 11, 2023
131 people are currently reading
262 people want to read
About the author
Andrew Holecek
17 books123 followersAndrew Holecek has completed the traditional three-year Buddhist meditation retreat and offers seminars internationally on meditation, dream yoga, and death.
His work has appeared in Parobla, Shambhala Sun, Tricycle, Utne Reader, and other periodicals. He is the author of The Power and the Pain: Transforming Spiritual Hardship into Joy; Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Perspective; Meditation in the iGeneration; How to Meditate in a World of Speed and Stress, and the audio learning course Dream Yoga: The Tibetan Path of Awakening Through Lucid Dreaming.
Andrew holds degrees in classical music, physics, and a doctorate in dental surgery. He lives in Lafayette, Colorado.
He is also the co-founder of Global Dental Relief, and travels each year to India and Nepal to provide free care to impoverished children. http://globaldentalrelief.org/
His work has appeared in Parobla, Shambhala Sun, Tricycle, Utne Reader, and other periodicals. He is the author of The Power and the Pain: Transforming Spiritual Hardship into Joy; Preparing to Die: Practical Advice and Spiritual Wisdom from the Tibetan Buddhist Perspective; Meditation in the iGeneration; How to Meditate in a World of Speed and Stress, and the audio learning course Dream Yoga: The Tibetan Path of Awakening Through Lucid Dreaming.
Andrew holds degrees in classical music, physics, and a doctorate in dental surgery. He lives in Lafayette, Colorado.
He is also the co-founder of Global Dental Relief, and travels each year to India and Nepal to provide free care to impoverished children. http://globaldentalrelief.org/
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Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews
December 1, 2024
Very plain spoken.
Lots of guided practices.
Reverse meditation entails going against our instincts to avoid pain (physical/emotional), and to bring curious, open, accepting and (yes) loving (COAL) presence to the embodied experience, in the here and now, as it is arising and falling.
When done correctly, the pain remains (sorta kinda) but the suffering (and along with it, the sense of ego/self) melts like a snowflake falling on a hot rock.
Reverse meditation takes the same (very counterintuitive) approach to the experience of pleasure. When bring total acceptance, and presence to the experience of pleasure, you loose the anxious craven dysphoria (that nearly always accompanies pleasurable experiences - if you’re paying close attention, you’ll see it) and you’re left something that feels a whole lot like boundless, objectless bliss.
In sum:
Reverse meditation brings a particular quality of radical acceptance/love and total presence to the direct experience of both pain/pleasure. In doing so, we trade out a contracted, confined sense of self, and ownership of our experiences, for a direct experience of boundless awareness and love.
The tag line is.
As soon as pain/pleasure arises.
Let it go.
Immediately.
With your whole being.
See what happens.
You may come to find something satisfying and interesting and rewarding and liberating (to put it mildly).
5/5 STARS ⭐️
Lots of guided practices.
Reverse meditation entails going against our instincts to avoid pain (physical/emotional), and to bring curious, open, accepting and (yes) loving (COAL) presence to the embodied experience, in the here and now, as it is arising and falling.
When done correctly, the pain remains (sorta kinda) but the suffering (and along with it, the sense of ego/self) melts like a snowflake falling on a hot rock.
Reverse meditation takes the same (very counterintuitive) approach to the experience of pleasure. When bring total acceptance, and presence to the experience of pleasure, you loose the anxious craven dysphoria (that nearly always accompanies pleasurable experiences - if you’re paying close attention, you’ll see it) and you’re left something that feels a whole lot like boundless, objectless bliss.
In sum:
Reverse meditation brings a particular quality of radical acceptance/love and total presence to the direct experience of both pain/pleasure. In doing so, we trade out a contracted, confined sense of self, and ownership of our experiences, for a direct experience of boundless awareness and love.
The tag line is.
As soon as pain/pleasure arises.
Let it go.
Immediately.
With your whole being.
See what happens.
You may come to find something satisfying and interesting and rewarding and liberating (to put it mildly).
5/5 STARS ⭐️
May 11, 2023
I read this book as a pre-release e-book obtained through NetGalley, provided by the publisher.
We construct our suffering. We can deconstruct it!
This book, at the end, gives a set of “reverse meditations” which are gritty and real. The first part of the book were a number of instructions and techniques, borrowed from various world faiths and traditions, but not completely, and in ways that would be offensive to those from some parts of the world.. Thus, parts of the beginning were very much New Age-flavored cultural appropriation with some mistakes in the scientific explanations – and I had trouble finishing the book.
Yet, I decided to finish. At the end, I encountered the real, useful, and usable “reverse meditations” which I had not encountered anywhere else after decades of meditation. It’s how to keep thoughts and external distractions from “sticking” to you – paradoxically by running straight into it.
I have, and intend to continue, to include these "reverse meditations" in my repertoire of meditative techniques.
We construct our suffering. We can deconstruct it!
This book, at the end, gives a set of “reverse meditations” which are gritty and real. The first part of the book were a number of instructions and techniques, borrowed from various world faiths and traditions, but not completely, and in ways that would be offensive to those from some parts of the world.. Thus, parts of the beginning were very much New Age-flavored cultural appropriation with some mistakes in the scientific explanations – and I had trouble finishing the book.
Yet, I decided to finish. At the end, I encountered the real, useful, and usable “reverse meditations” which I had not encountered anywhere else after decades of meditation. It’s how to keep thoughts and external distractions from “sticking” to you – paradoxically by running straight into it.
I have, and intend to continue, to include these "reverse meditations" in my repertoire of meditative techniques.
March 13, 2023
Andrew Holecek’s book Reverse Meditation is a treasure, to be slowly digested and revisited, as it imparts salutary wisdom and valuable ways to use meditative practices to go within and experience openness and transformation. The guidance offered in the book is practical and clear. It is a beautiful exploration of how suffering can be viewed as a sacred gift to be opened and embraced.
Andrew’s book resonated with me in a profound way. I appreciate the depth of knowledge and experience being shared in the book as well as the extensive references to relevant authors / teachers and research that has contributed to the material included. I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to read it.
I highly recommend Andrew’s book and will recommend it to others.
Thank you NetGalley and Sounds True Publishing for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
Andrew’s book resonated with me in a profound way. I appreciate the depth of knowledge and experience being shared in the book as well as the extensive references to relevant authors / teachers and research that has contributed to the material included. I am very thankful to have had the opportunity to read it.
I highly recommend Andrew’s book and will recommend it to others.
Thank you NetGalley and Sounds True Publishing for the ARC of this book in exchange for my honest review.
July 19, 2023
If you like Pema Chodron’s WHEN THINGS FALL APART or Jon Kabat-Zinn’s FULL CATASTROPHE LIVING, you will find that REVERSE MEDITATIONS brings new depth and practicality to those foundational Buddhist teachings. Meditation, Holecek tells us, is not an invitation to numb ourselves from life’s challenges. On the contrary, he encourages us to bravely step into life’s most daunting moments by using simple on-the-spot meditative techniques to expand our awareness and open to insight. Here, meditation is not compartmentalized to the cushion, but becomes fully integrated into the daily rollercoaster of living. The result is a less avoidant, less fearful, more openhearted and resilient way of being in the world. Narrated by the author, the Audible version is imbued with the clarity and emphasis of his voice. We cannot control the weather at sea, but we can learn to navigate the storms and become curious about what they can teach us. As a longtime meditator, REVERSE MEDITATIONS has given new strength to my rudder.
November 26, 2023
Read it and I feel as though I've been pranked somehow. I would recommend this one for anyone looking for a great example of being verbose. Every time I found my chin on my chest, I went back a few pages to a place I recognized having read. I didn't want to miss anything important.
If you want to read up on meditating I would not start with this one. This is the sort of thing one reads when every other title on meditating, written over the last...say, three thousand years, has been pored over — more than once.
I know... ouch.
All that being said, at least I finished it. Unfinished stuff gets one star...
If you want to read up on meditating I would not start with this one. This is the sort of thing one reads when every other title on meditating, written over the last...say, three thousand years, has been pored over — more than once.
I know... ouch.
All that being said, at least I finished it. Unfinished stuff gets one star...
October 5, 2023
The first part of the book establishes the basics, diving into the central concept of contraction which is defined as the retreat from reality that typically happens when things start to hurt.
The second part of the book goes through 3 different meditative practices, what the author calls referential, non-referential and reverse meditation.
Essentially, referential is Samatha while non-referential is Vipassana Meditation.
A more accurate term for Reverse Meditation would be Masochistic Meditation. In essence, you are deliberately inflicting pain on yourself to change your relationship with it through meditation.
The meditation starts with doing something that hurts. The author suggests digging our fingernail into our thumb or gently biting our tongue or lip.
There are then 4 stages to go through based on the acronym OBEY:
1. Observe: briefly pull back from the pain and witness it
2. Be with the pain: without running commentary on it
3. Examine: investigate the nature of pain
4. Yoke with the pain: become one with it
The pain is reinitiated in step 2 and the intensity increased in step 4.
I found it really interesting how the author has adapted meditation to harness the power of hormesis to change our relationship to pain.
Whether you choose to actually practice his form of meditation, this book communicates a lot of helpful concepts.
The second part of the book goes through 3 different meditative practices, what the author calls referential, non-referential and reverse meditation.
Essentially, referential is Samatha while non-referential is Vipassana Meditation.
A more accurate term for Reverse Meditation would be Masochistic Meditation. In essence, you are deliberately inflicting pain on yourself to change your relationship with it through meditation.
The meditation starts with doing something that hurts. The author suggests digging our fingernail into our thumb or gently biting our tongue or lip.
There are then 4 stages to go through based on the acronym OBEY:
1. Observe: briefly pull back from the pain and witness it
2. Be with the pain: without running commentary on it
3. Examine: investigate the nature of pain
4. Yoke with the pain: become one with it
The pain is reinitiated in step 2 and the intensity increased in step 4.
I found it really interesting how the author has adapted meditation to harness the power of hormesis to change our relationship to pain.
Whether you choose to actually practice his form of meditation, this book communicates a lot of helpful concepts.
October 30, 2023
Our intention in this book is to replace reductionism with elevationism, demotion with promotion, and degrading with upgrading. Instead of reducing everything to impure matter, we will elevate everything into pure spirit. “Pure spirit” is a feeble way to depict the ineffable. The Japanese word kokoro, “heart-mind-spirit,” comes closer, but no finite word can embrace the infinite. And although we may use the word elevationism to refer to the reverse of the reductionist view, this new view is elevated only because it stands in sharp contrast to our tainted views. In essence, “elevation” to the sacred view is actually very ordinary. It’s the natural state. Reducing everything into the profanity of lifeless matter is what’s unnatural. So the sacred world appears elevated only from our sullied reductionist stance.
I really like this idea and haven't heard it in quite these terms, but this book was not the way into the subject, way too dense and abstruse. There are some exercises in the book that try to shed light on the process but it sounds like a million step process which no one has time for. Worth another try in another format.
I really like this idea and haven't heard it in quite these terms, but this book was not the way into the subject, way too dense and abstruse. There are some exercises in the book that try to shed light on the process but it sounds like a million step process which no one has time for. Worth another try in another format.
July 16, 2023
I have mixed feelings about this book. I found the meditation instructions very helpful and would recommend them to anyone starting or having difficulty maintaining a meditation practice. Some other aspects of the book I had trouble with, such as the Buddhist concept of no self and the idea that master meditators should have no preference for pleasure over pain.
I particularly liked the author’s discussion of referential and nonreferential meditations and his explanation of reverse meditations. The exercises give the reader a chance to practice these meditations in a natural progression.
Thanks to Sounds True for providing me with an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
I particularly liked the author’s discussion of referential and nonreferential meditations and his explanation of reverse meditations. The exercises give the reader a chance to practice these meditations in a natural progression.
Thanks to Sounds True for providing me with an unproofed ARC through NetGalley that I volunteered to review.
July 19, 2023
This book is for fairly advanced meditators. The gist of the book is that you need to face your fears, pain, and suffering head on, If you don't, you'll bottle up stress and be the worse for it. With techniques for doing "reverse meditation," this book offered something truly new in this field of study and interest.
I appreciated this book, especially as I read it while suffering a severe tooth ache and then a root canal. I can honestly say the book helped grow as a person and get through a bad time. The style of the writing was a bit repetitive and difficult to read, but overall, this was a book worth reading.
I appreciated this book, especially as I read it while suffering a severe tooth ache and then a root canal. I can honestly say the book helped grow as a person and get through a bad time. The style of the writing was a bit repetitive and difficult to read, but overall, this was a book worth reading.
August 17, 2023
Whew this isn’t chill out and zen meditation for sure. I’ve only tried a couple and ended up bawling. I ain’t ready for the hard stuff.
My favorite part was the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. The author did an amazing job picking them out. (As well as the rest of the book I’m just emotionally raw right now, so I’m irrationally mad at them. Ha)
This is not for the faint of heart. It’s not easy to confront feelings you’d rather compartmentalize.
My favorite part was the quotes at the beginning of each chapter. The author did an amazing job picking them out. (As well as the rest of the book I’m just emotionally raw right now, so I’m irrationally mad at them. Ha)
This is not for the faint of heart. It’s not easy to confront feelings you’d rather compartmentalize.
April 15, 2023
Very good ideas and approaches here. There are many exercises and many of them build on previous ones resulting in a gradual change/improvement. This is info that everyone can benefit from, and we're lucky to have access to such information. Recommended.
I really appreciate the free ARC for review!!
I really appreciate the free ARC for review!!
May 2, 2023
ARC NETGALLEY REVIEW DIGITAL
Highly recommend to anyone wanting to deepen there meditation practice, or pair with their yoga meditation practice. The author is articulate clearly and it’s easy to understand, and deep dives on several topic that are critical to meditation.
Highly recommend to anyone wanting to deepen there meditation practice, or pair with their yoga meditation practice. The author is articulate clearly and it’s easy to understand, and deep dives on several topic that are critical to meditation.
October 8, 2024
Reverse meditation to reverse self-deception and cultivate wisdom
Highly recommended for anyone seeking to become no one; in the non-dualist sense. I love the systematic approach to deconstructing self as the ultimate center of resistance and aggregator of experience.
Highly recommended for anyone seeking to become no one; in the non-dualist sense. I love the systematic approach to deconstructing self as the ultimate center of resistance and aggregator of experience.
February 11, 2024
This was a deep dive in meditation. Quieting the mind and body in non duel moments can be enlightening. Going into the pain. Witnessing the pain without judgement.
June 26, 2024
One of the better meditation books I've read. Would recommend.
November 4, 2025
Didn't read the last chapter yet. a bit advanced for me at this point. when I'm ready I'm sure I can pick it up again. but lots of good tips and guidance on meditation.
Displaying 1 - 16 of 16 reviews