The Wreck: A Daughter's Memoir of Becoming a Mother

by Cassandra Jackson

NPR's Books We Love 2023

Equal parts investigative and deeply introspective,
The Wreck is a profound memoir about recognizing the echoes of history within ourselves, and the alchemy of turning inherited grief into renewal.

There is a secret that young Cassandra Jackson doesn’t know, and it’s evident in the way her father cries her name out in his sleep. Through awkward encounters with family, she comes to realize that she is named after her father's niece, and looks eerily like the child’s mother, both of whom were killed in a car wreck along with her father's beloved mother, and—as she soon discovers—his first wife. Cassandra learns to keep silent about the wreck, but soon learns there is no way to outpace the claw-like grip of her family’s past trauma.

In this luminous memoir, Jackson attempts to unearth her lost family, while also creating a new one--only to discover little progress separates the past from the present. As she moves back and forth between her girlhood and her journey to motherhood, Jackson reveals the chilling parallels between the harrowing inhumanity of Jim Crow medical care and the toxic discrimination that undergirds healthcare in the United States today. But as she traces the cascading effects of loss punctuated by racism, she also discovers a powerful legacy of fearless love and furious perseverance that she hopes to extend to a new generation.

Lyrical, urgent, and wise, this is an unforgettable story of reclaiming the past to reclaim ourselves.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir, Parenting, African American, Biography, Race

317 pages, Kindle Edition

First published May 16, 2023

Reviews

[Marika · Rating 5 out of 5]

Author Cassandra Jackson is a writer, (co-authored The Toni Morrison Book Club), a professor of English, a mother and a daughter. In this memoir she focuses her writing skills on her journey to becoming a mother, and her role as a daughter and the result is nothing short of fabulous. She writes about her and her husband's experience with trying to conceive a child and the difficulties they faced. In alternating chapters she writes about her father and the horrific car wreck that changed his life forever. But not only did the wreck impact his life but those in his orbit, especially his daughter Cassandra.
Readers will want to skip ahead to find out if she was able to become pregnant. Don't do it, enjoy the ride.

Easily one of best, thought provoking books I've read in awhile. Sentences like the following are like pearls.
"When she is done eating, we are both satisfied, even though if it were a poem it would too short."


*I read an advance copy and was not compensated

[Kaleb · Rating 5 out of 5]

Really hard to finish but I’m glad that I was able to do so. I’m not sure if I was more interested in her struggles with infertility as a black woman or her looking into all that happened with the deaths of member of her family back in 1960. Very interesting on so many levels.

[Ella Bogie · Rating 5 out of 5]

A truly beautiful book. A story of family, hope, love, loss, grief, faith, and womanhood. The author writes in a way that made me feel the emotions deep in my soul. An account of the racism and discrimination in healthcare that was gutting to read but important to hear as a future nurse.

[Rose Peterson · Rating 4 out of 5]

"I want to make that biological essence that answers to dead names. I want the magic of legacy that lives in bodies, not merely resemblance, but that place where likeness crosses over into something uncanny, the mystery of kinship that even science struggles to comprehend."

[Leona · Rating 4 out of 5]

The author doesn’t sugarcoat her story of family grief and infertility. I appreciated her honesty and her belief that understanding her history would help her move toward her future family. Death and grief are confusing to children; Ms. Jackson's family endured a catastrophic loss and she uses anecdotes and newspaper clippings to get to the truth. I related to this on both levels - secrecy in the family and the stress of wanting to bear children. This is heavy but ultimately provides resolution.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book manages to bring the otherwise incomprehensible into sharp focus. It is a complicated story that is both nuanced and harsh in the unstinting telling. I felt privileged to be invited on a highly intimate and raw deep dive into the author's own past, and I was able to connect and to relate as the story unfolded. Cassandra Jackson shares the experience of two of her life journeys in all of their profound psychic pain, the roots of which are both arbitrary (fate) and discriminatory (racist). The emotional drive to unpack, gain and incorporate her own comprehension of her family's veiled calamitous past, together with her life-altering quest to conceive a "living legacy" to add back some of the joy that was so cruelly snatched, are badges of courage, in this reader's opinion. I freely admit that this book had the effect of enabling me to feel a more intense sense of shame at my own white privilege. Highly recommend it!

[Zibby Owens · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is about the author's journey to discovering her family and finding a new one. Her childhood was defined by an accident that killed many in her family. She never knew what had happened, when it happened, or where it happened. Yet so much of their lives were determined by that day. As she tries to start a family of her own, she delves into her past and the things that broke her family apart.

The book goes back and forth between her girlhood memories and experience and her journey to motherhood. In addition to grief and a family tragedy, the book also looks at healthcare, motherhood, and the struggles with infertility and the process of trying to have a baby: the drugs, the doctor visits, the disappointment, and the hope.

To listen to my interview with the author, go to my podcast at:
https://www.momsdonthavetimetoreadboo...

[Kelly Barsch · Rating 5 out of 5]

Whew. Tough, but important book to read as a continued reminder of the systemic racism that plagues our country today that we must acknowledge and be active in pursuit of breaking it.
While it took my husband and I longer to conceive, we were able to get pregnant just before starting Clomid. I’m sure this book might be hard for people experiencing infertility or possibly cathartic for those on the other side of the journey. What a gift this book will be to the author’s daughters one day.

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A stunning memoir that dives deep into the complexities of fertility, family, grief, and identity—with a voice so powerful it lingers long after the final page. The author’s vulnerability and insight transform personal pain into something universally resonant. This isn’t just a story about trying to build a family—it's about survival, hope, and the wreckage and beauty of being human. I was completely swept away.

[Nancy Levie · Rating 5 out of 5]

from the depths of sorrow to great joy

Jackson deftly connects the threads of legacy, race, family tragedy, hope and love. Couldn’t put it down. Don’t want to say too much… it may take away from the reader’s experience.

[Sandy Kennedy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully written. A combination of multigenerational layers of grief and racism. An IVF journey that does justice to medicines shortcomings and the author’s inspiring integrity and perseverance. What an amazing human memoir! One of the best books I have read.

[Nancy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Beautifully and powerful written. I was immediately captivated by the voice of the child and the woman who wants to have a child. I read it in 2 settings. What a pleasure to spend time with Ms. jackson

[Lawryn Fellwock · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved the juxtaposition of the stories being told in this book — we have tragic near end of a family (the wreck) and the uneasy start of a new family (the writer’s fertility journey) only separated by one generation

[Raquel · Rating 5 out of 5]

😭😭😭
I've had 2 miscarriages this past year
this book is so beautiful

[Crystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars!

[Leah · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Tammy Ulm · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5

[Kimmie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really loved this book. There were lots of meditations on motherhood and what gets passed down in families. And I love reading about people who investigate their ancestors’ lives

[jillian · Rating 4 out of 5]

infertility, identity… i think i craved more structure? sometimes it felt like i was missing something but very real, touching story. cried more than once

[Megan Snodgrass · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a timely memoir to read - I was in the middle of listening to this on audio when the dystopian headlines about Alabama trying to govern IVF and rule frozen embryos as children, and I was just like do they even know what sort of trials and tribulations going through IVF does to a woman and her family - why make that process even harder? Anyways back to the timeliness of this memoir - this book juxtaposes a woman from Alabama in her adulthood going through IVF with her memories from her childhood. All the while she is reckoning with how a car accident (to which the title is derived from), generational trauma, and medical treatment of African Americans in the US have influenced her adult life. Strongly recommend the book. So if you want to know more about the trials and tribulations I mentioned, plus the intersectional aspects of medical treatment of black women in the US, read this book.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is truly a heartfelt story of Jackson's becoming pregnant in a society that seemed to now want her to become so. While I believe she is telling her story honestly I cannot help but believe that some of her encounters with reproductive health care providers reflect her reactions as much as the insensitivity of the providers. Interwoven with this story is the impact that a car accident which took the lives of family member had on her coming of age, as well. A truly revealing story.

[Jenny · Rating 5 out of 5]

An amazing blend of family history and the author's personal journey through infertility treatment and motherhood. Well done.