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God's Ex-Girlfriend: A Memoir About Loving and Leaving the Evangelical Jesus
“With engaging and conversational prose, Amodeo offers us a
compelling look at the world of youth missions that is taking aim, not just at
the hearts and minds of young people in America and abroad, but at liberalism,
equality, and democracy itself.”—Katherine Stewart
“How does a charming, insecure girl from a troubled family
become an evangelist for a Christian fundamentalist movement that seeks to
govern her every thought and action? God's Ex-Girlfriend is
a wry, poignant, and unflinchingly honest memoir that unveils the cult-like
operations of Campus Crusade for Christ. Now known as 'Cru,' the 'parachurch'
has been a formidable component of the Religious Right's political
infrastructure. Amodeo's account shows how she was drawn into the movement, and
how she finally broke free of its control into a fulfilling new life.”—Anne Nelson, author, Shadow
Media, Money, and the Secret Hub of the Radical Right
“In her frank, relatable, and sometimes laugh-out-loud
funny prose, Gloria Beth Amodeo exposes the subtle manipulation techniques,
love bombing, and exploitation of trauma evangelicals use on those they target
for conversion. While she doesn't shy away from the predatory nature of
conversion efforts, Amodeo also shows us the seductive side of gaining
"spiritual family" and certainty about ultimate questions in a world
that is often chaotic and frightening. More importantly, she takes us on a
journey of identities gained and lost that ends with the triumph of her human
spirit in her deconversion, convincingly demonstrating that the cost of the
comforts and certainty that high-control religion offers your soul, your
agency, your individuality—is far too high.” —Chrissy Stroop, editor, Leaving the
Stories of People Leaving the Church
Gloria
Beth Amodeo was a freshman in college when she met someone who would change the
trajectory of her life. Cate was smart, beautiful, and an evangelical
Christian. Soon, Gloria had left behind her troubled family—which included her
mother's mental illness and addiction to pills—and joined Cate as a member of
Campus Crusade for Christ (now known as Cru).
Embracing her newfound belief system, Gloria became a cultural warrior for Jesus, militantly focused on converting everyone she met
to her conservative brand of Christianity. Over the next seven years, she spent
spring breaks preaching to MTV partygoers in bikinis; hung out in bars as she
tried to convert her fellow creative writing students in New York City; and
kept a strenuous hold on her virginity, as she considered herself to be in a
relationship with God.
Slowly, she came to realize that a God who
believed that people were going to hell, sex before marriage was a sin, and
that men had the final say in all marital and relationship matters, among other
things, was not a God she wanted to “date” any longer.
compelling look at the world of youth missions that is taking aim, not just at
the hearts and minds of young people in America and abroad, but at liberalism,
equality, and democracy itself.”—Katherine Stewart
“How does a charming, insecure girl from a troubled family
become an evangelist for a Christian fundamentalist movement that seeks to
govern her every thought and action? God's Ex-Girlfriend is
a wry, poignant, and unflinchingly honest memoir that unveils the cult-like
operations of Campus Crusade for Christ. Now known as 'Cru,' the 'parachurch'
has been a formidable component of the Religious Right's political
infrastructure. Amodeo's account shows how she was drawn into the movement, and
how she finally broke free of its control into a fulfilling new life.”—Anne Nelson, author, Shadow
Media, Money, and the Secret Hub of the Radical Right
“In her frank, relatable, and sometimes laugh-out-loud
funny prose, Gloria Beth Amodeo exposes the subtle manipulation techniques,
love bombing, and exploitation of trauma evangelicals use on those they target
for conversion. While she doesn't shy away from the predatory nature of
conversion efforts, Amodeo also shows us the seductive side of gaining
"spiritual family" and certainty about ultimate questions in a world
that is often chaotic and frightening. More importantly, she takes us on a
journey of identities gained and lost that ends with the triumph of her human
spirit in her deconversion, convincingly demonstrating that the cost of the
comforts and certainty that high-control religion offers your soul, your
agency, your individuality—is far too high.” —Chrissy Stroop, editor, Leaving the
Stories of People Leaving the Church
Gloria
Beth Amodeo was a freshman in college when she met someone who would change the
trajectory of her life. Cate was smart, beautiful, and an evangelical
Christian. Soon, Gloria had left behind her troubled family—which included her
mother's mental illness and addiction to pills—and joined Cate as a member of
Campus Crusade for Christ (now known as Cru).
Embracing her newfound belief system, Gloria became a cultural warrior for Jesus, militantly focused on converting everyone she met
to her conservative brand of Christianity. Over the next seven years, she spent
spring breaks preaching to MTV partygoers in bikinis; hung out in bars as she
tried to convert her fellow creative writing students in New York City; and
kept a strenuous hold on her virginity, as she considered herself to be in a
relationship with God.
Slowly, she came to realize that a God who
believed that people were going to hell, sex before marriage was a sin, and
that men had the final say in all marital and relationship matters, among other
things, was not a God she wanted to “date” any longer.
- GenresMemoirReligionNonfiction
271 pages, Kindle Edition
Published February 21, 2023
6 people are currently reading
169 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
June 14, 2024
This book differs from the other ex-evangelical memoirs I've read in the sense that Amodeo gives an in-depth look into the conversion tactics that many fundamentalist churches use. Through exploring her own spiritual journey, she exposes the foundations of a religion whose livelihood depends on changing people's minds.
Her writing is revealing, critical, and full of self-deprecating humor; she looks at the events of her past with an empathetic eye but isn't afraid to point out mistakes she made or people she hurt. By writing a memoir that focuses on the relationships she formed and the people who impacted her, she highlights just how difficult leaving a religious community can be—if your entire support structure hinges on your adherence to a belief structure, doubting that structure can mean the loss of everything you know and love.
Overall, Amodeo's memoir does a fantastic job telling the story of her life and spiritual journey while also offering the reader insight into the inner workings of evangelical conversion methods.
Her writing is revealing, critical, and full of self-deprecating humor; she looks at the events of her past with an empathetic eye but isn't afraid to point out mistakes she made or people she hurt. By writing a memoir that focuses on the relationships she formed and the people who impacted her, she highlights just how difficult leaving a religious community can be—if your entire support structure hinges on your adherence to a belief structure, doubting that structure can mean the loss of everything you know and love.
Overall, Amodeo's memoir does a fantastic job telling the story of her life and spiritual journey while also offering the reader insight into the inner workings of evangelical conversion methods.
July 8, 2023
Whelp, that was pretty true (even if I do have a hard time believing memoir that perfectly replays every scene of dialogue).
August 24, 2024
So much pain but also so much growth. Honestly it was hard to read at times but really important and encouraging.
April 13, 2023
Relatable, sad, vulnerable, empathetic read that hits a *little* too close to home. Campus ministry can be wildly toxic and I’m glad this author was able to share her story!!
July 21, 2023
If you were in Cru — like really *in* Cru, not just going to the occasional gathering or bible study — and you are no longer a believer, you need to read this book.
If you went to the retreats or summer project, if you did the fundraising and the initiative evangelism, if your college community was centered on this organization, if you found yourself obsessed with converting your friends, family, and coworkers (especially if you wanted to do it kindly, gently, subtly, subversively), if you ended up in an evangelical church after graduating, if you struggled with doubt that was met with thought-terminating cliches, if you weren't sure about the homophobia and the misogyny, the teachings about sin and hell and sex, if you know about things like Calvinism, names like Tim Keller... If you went through any or all of this and you left, (or are trying to leave, wanting to leave, have a curiosity about what it might mean to leave), if you're trying to pick up the pieces of yourself after leaving or if you're wondering "Was that real? Did I imagine the culty toxicity? Am I alone?"... READ THIS BOOK.
If you went to the retreats or summer project, if you did the fundraising and the initiative evangelism, if your college community was centered on this organization, if you found yourself obsessed with converting your friends, family, and coworkers (especially if you wanted to do it kindly, gently, subtly, subversively), if you ended up in an evangelical church after graduating, if you struggled with doubt that was met with thought-terminating cliches, if you weren't sure about the homophobia and the misogyny, the teachings about sin and hell and sex, if you know about things like Calvinism, names like Tim Keller... If you went through any or all of this and you left, (or are trying to leave, wanting to leave, have a curiosity about what it might mean to leave), if you're trying to pick up the pieces of yourself after leaving or if you're wondering "Was that real? Did I imagine the culty toxicity? Am I alone?"... READ THIS BOOK.
May 3, 2023
Having spent a few years involved with a different Christian group in college, I was kind of surprised at how similar some of the tactics were between groups (though in retrospect maybe that shouldn’t be surprising considering we used the same source material). I definitely related to the slow process the author described when it came to deconstructing her faith, though I wish this was a little more fleshed out in the book. Would recommend a read if you have been exposed to proselytism in any capacity.
February 20, 2023
I really wanted to like this book. I picked up an advance reader's copy for $1 a few months ago but didn't get around to reading it until basically the actual release date. Regardless, I have always been fascinated by fundamentalist Christianity, so this book seemed like a perfect fit. I recognize that it is Amodeo's first book, but it sadly failed to deliver. The book focused so much on her experiences while in the church that the transition to her no longer believing was poorly explained and seemed so lackluster. Then, the ending after that seemed incredibly rushed and left a lot to be desired. The book started strong, but the pacing of the narrative was very warped and I left feeling very disappointed, like I could've spent my time better elsewhere. It wasn't a bad book by any means, but it wasn't a particularly good one, either. I'm sure you could find a better memoir about Christian fundamentalism.
April 6, 2023
I am so proud of my friend for writing this vulnerable and funny memoir about her religious journey.
Beth grew up loosely Christian in western MA but gravitated to the Evangelical sphere when in college through Campus Crusade for Christ. She yearned for the community the church provided her and loved the strict rules she saw, making everything clearer than before. Cate, a fellow student, began as a friend but quickly because a Jesus mentor to Beth. This had a hold on her throughout college, but when Beth moved to NYC for grad school she felt so lost without the Evangelical community and Cate. She began questioning the church and it’s harsh rules on the LGBTQIA+, sex and swearing. Beth slowly begins lifting the veil on the world she’s been in, seeing it through a new light.
I went to college with Beth and became close with her through the theatre department. While I wasn’t religious, I knew Beth was and respected her beliefs despite our differences. We’ve remained friends since school and I saw her leave the church in real life, but never understood the full scope of what she went through until reading this. I didn’t understand the fear tactics taught to her under the guise of love and really didn’t understand how hard things were for her when she left. This memoir was enlightening and I laughed out loud at Beth’s humor, but it was also heartbreaking. I wish there was a little more text after she left the church to her life now and I had trouble with the nonlinear structure at certain parts, but I learned so much about Evangelical faith and about my friend’s path towards happiness. Highly recommend this memoir!
✨Trigger Warnings: Manipulation, Eating Disorder, Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Homophobia
Beth grew up loosely Christian in western MA but gravitated to the Evangelical sphere when in college through Campus Crusade for Christ. She yearned for the community the church provided her and loved the strict rules she saw, making everything clearer than before. Cate, a fellow student, began as a friend but quickly because a Jesus mentor to Beth. This had a hold on her throughout college, but when Beth moved to NYC for grad school she felt so lost without the Evangelical community and Cate. She began questioning the church and it’s harsh rules on the LGBTQIA+, sex and swearing. Beth slowly begins lifting the veil on the world she’s been in, seeing it through a new light.
I went to college with Beth and became close with her through the theatre department. While I wasn’t religious, I knew Beth was and respected her beliefs despite our differences. We’ve remained friends since school and I saw her leave the church in real life, but never understood the full scope of what she went through until reading this. I didn’t understand the fear tactics taught to her under the guise of love and really didn’t understand how hard things were for her when she left. This memoir was enlightening and I laughed out loud at Beth’s humor, but it was also heartbreaking. I wish there was a little more text after she left the church to her life now and I had trouble with the nonlinear structure at certain parts, but I learned so much about Evangelical faith and about my friend’s path towards happiness. Highly recommend this memoir!
✨Trigger Warnings: Manipulation, Eating Disorder, Physical Abuse, Emotional Abuse, Homophobia
February 28, 2023
I had no idea it was so easy to get sucked into evangelicalism. Reading Beth's memoir I kept thinking, that could have been me. I was in such a similar mental place when I started college, and I could have easily been in the same shoes if I'd have had the same experiences. It's scary. I applaud Beth's bravery for writing this book.
October 15, 2022
Gloria Beth Amodeo knows how and when to laugh at herself (and when not to). A fantastic memoir.
July 5, 2023
This was great! I recently heard an interview with Gloria Beth Amodeo on the Evancynical podcast (episode #58 if you’re interested) and knew I needed to read this book. I experienced a similar disconnection from my evangelical past and this book really hit home. If you’ve ever left a religion, cult, or even just a social circle that you’ve spent your whole life in, you’ll probably appreciate this book.
Not only did the story feel relatable, but the writing itself was engaging. There’s also plenty of humor in the mix which helped to even-out the otherwise serious nature of the narrative. I don’t think I’ve read a similar book since Dan Barker’s Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist over 12 ½ years ago (and I only gave that 4 stars).
It was encouraging to read Amodeo’s personal story and I commend her for her bravery. I appreciate how hard it is to share this type of experience, but I’m glad she did (and hope that more people can do the same).
Not only did the story feel relatable, but the writing itself was engaging. There’s also plenty of humor in the mix which helped to even-out the otherwise serious nature of the narrative. I don’t think I’ve read a similar book since Dan Barker’s Losing Faith in Faith: From Preacher to Atheist over 12 ½ years ago (and I only gave that 4 stars).
It was encouraging to read Amodeo’s personal story and I commend her for her bravery. I appreciate how hard it is to share this type of experience, but I’m glad she did (and hope that more people can do the same).
February 19, 2023
For those who've left the Evangelical church, who're still in it and grappling with its teachings, or who are trying to understand why their loved one abandoned the faith, Gloria Beth Amodeo tells a story that's relatable in its pains, courageous in its honesty, and that feels its way through one of the most difficult challenges many in this space experience: How to rekindle one's identity and self-worth that were sacrificed to both the church and harmful relationships.
Beth doesn't spare herself while rebuilding her journey, and it's a gift to readers. You'll laugh, empathize (with Beth and probably yourself), nod along with familiar threads, grieve, and feel companionship as she enters and exits the church with a reflective style that manages to make intelligent analysis devourably human.
Perhaps most comforting to some will be identifying a fraternity of emotional scars that may never fully heal, but which, Beth demonstrates, can be overcome.
Beth doesn't spare herself while rebuilding her journey, and it's a gift to readers. You'll laugh, empathize (with Beth and probably yourself), nod along with familiar threads, grieve, and feel companionship as she enters and exits the church with a reflective style that manages to make intelligent analysis devourably human.
Perhaps most comforting to some will be identifying a fraternity of emotional scars that may never fully heal, but which, Beth demonstrates, can be overcome.
April 2, 2023
Interesting. In the end, black and white thinking is a personality trait of the author, extremes just flip sides: the only way to salvation becomes the dangerous cult, the formerly idealized best friend becomes the evil abuser who does not even deserve returning a phone call. Deconversion seems started by no longer being at the epicenter of her evangelical friends' attention (as they start their own families) more than by actual theolgical criticism (author cannot tell apart evangelicalism and pentecostalism, nor has she explored any other churches outside her narrow box). As unfortunately in many such memoirs by US authors, the own still living family gets publicly thrown under the bus with no regard to privacy.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
June 30, 2023
Getting caught up on reviews!
I read this in about two hours. Loved loved loved the concept. It had me laughing and crying. The satirical commentary on weird little evangelical quirks was so appreciated. Every exvangelical should read this. Every evangelical should read this, frankly.
I wish we had heard more about her unraveling and disconnecting with the faith, as she didn’t really touch on that until the last few pages, which felt a bit rushed. It did seem that this book was more about loving the evangelical Jesus than leaving him, but it seems the author is still very much in the midst of processing this part of her life. All in all, a really special book.
I read this in about two hours. Loved loved loved the concept. It had me laughing and crying. The satirical commentary on weird little evangelical quirks was so appreciated. Every exvangelical should read this. Every evangelical should read this, frankly.
I wish we had heard more about her unraveling and disconnecting with the faith, as she didn’t really touch on that until the last few pages, which felt a bit rushed. It did seem that this book was more about loving the evangelical Jesus than leaving him, but it seems the author is still very much in the midst of processing this part of her life. All in all, a really special book.
June 20, 2023
I’m usually ambivalent to negative about memoirs by youngish people who haven’t done anything particularly interesting with their lives, but I think it’s the very ordinariness of Amodeo’s experience that makes this work. She was sucked into evangelicalism through an all-too-ordinary predatory recruitment process, and left through ordinary disillusionment. It’s a clear-eyed, cogent, personal look at why evangelical Christianity appeals so much, and why it hurts people so badly, and I think that’s a good thing to have in the world.
August 12, 2025
This book resonated with me until it didn’t. The beginning was good- she really spent time unpacking the way fundie evangelicals are basically marketing pros and a lot of it applies to the kind of fundie catholism I experienced. But she lost me when she did a 180 out. She didn’t spend much time debriefing her deconstruction anf all of a sudden she was just fine and out and about. I woulda loved to see the long term effects/ more thought on the way this will affect her. If it didn’t, then I’m jealous and I think she was never in it. Xoxoxox thnx bye
February 9, 2024
2.75, rounded up. I was raised in the evangelical church, so I recognized a lot of these experiences, but I would have loved to have a deeper dive into what led to the author leaving it. Especially after most of the book was spent talking about her time in the church. It kind of came across as “I had sex one time and decided I wasn’t a Christian anymore”
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August 27, 2023Wow. A lot to unpack here. The author didn’t really hold back, and it was a fascinating look at her journey through some hardcore evangelical Christianity culture.
Reading this, it still feels like she doesn’t have enough distance to be fully objective, but that’s not really what we’re looking for in a memoir.
The best we can ask is that the author is authentic and fully reflects her experience… and I think Beth did that. She included some very not flattering moments in her life, that maybe made me think some uncharitable things about her. That’s not fair of me as the reader, but I’m trying to react honestly. All in all, I’m glad she shared her experience. Having been raised in (and no longer in) an evangelical church, I could relate with some of her experiences, but not others. I wasn’t involved with campus ministries in college. I have always had a hard time making close Christian friends (but no problem making friends in general), and I rejected the culture of trying to proselytize after a few weird missteps in high school that made me stop trying. So this book is kind of a “life unlived” — if I had thrown myself heart and soul into it, maybe I would have had a similar journey. I appreciated the book. But I did not enjoy it.
One thing that struck me at the end was her mom’s comment about how evolved Beth was going to be moving forward. I’ve thought that. If you have lived in a mindset and then actively worked through to something new, you have understanding of the old and the new. And there’s power and empathy in that. I wish Beth joy and continued evolution.
Reading this, it still feels like she doesn’t have enough distance to be fully objective, but that’s not really what we’re looking for in a memoir.
The best we can ask is that the author is authentic and fully reflects her experience… and I think Beth did that. She included some very not flattering moments in her life, that maybe made me think some uncharitable things about her. That’s not fair of me as the reader, but I’m trying to react honestly. All in all, I’m glad she shared her experience. Having been raised in (and no longer in) an evangelical church, I could relate with some of her experiences, but not others. I wasn’t involved with campus ministries in college. I have always had a hard time making close Christian friends (but no problem making friends in general), and I rejected the culture of trying to proselytize after a few weird missteps in high school that made me stop trying. So this book is kind of a “life unlived” — if I had thrown myself heart and soul into it, maybe I would have had a similar journey. I appreciated the book. But I did not enjoy it.
One thing that struck me at the end was her mom’s comment about how evolved Beth was going to be moving forward. I’ve thought that. If you have lived in a mindset and then actively worked through to something new, you have understanding of the old and the new. And there’s power and empathy in that. I wish Beth joy and continued evolution.
January 30, 2024
Meh. I was expecting more discussion on deconstruction and life beyond evangelicalism, but this book was written only in a mostly linear fashion and the author was a believer for 90% of the narrative.
September 18, 2023
This book was a hard read. I came away think8ng Gloria experienced a very works-based faith rather rhan grace.
October 24, 2023
Funny, infuriating, and healing. If you were raised in or around organized religion, have left organized religion, or have ever questioned organized religion, this book is for you.
January 11, 2024
I loved this book
November 30, 2025
God’s Ex-Girlfriend was an interesting read that resonated with parts of my own history. The story felt personal and engaging, making it easy to connect with the themes and experiences portrayed.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews