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Get Thee Off My Lawn

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APRIL NIGHTINGALE wants the best for her swans, Gerald and Daphne, which is why she won’t rest until they mate for life. It would have happened by now if not for Gerald’s absurd penchant for the neighbor’s pond. But when April trespasses on the Derring lawns to reclaim her fowl, a fouler surprise awaits… As does a tall, handsome neighbor who can’t hold back his laughter at her folly.


LEOPOLD DERRING was not expecting this today: a swan thief in his pond. Trespassers are not much tolerated, but this one’s story is too amusing not to hear. And her gap-toothed, mischievous grin? Too enticing. But being her rescuer for a day was never going to be enough, and her swan—Gerald, was it?—might be the very thing to lure her back.


GERALD THE SWAN does as he pleases and paddling about on the Derring pond pleases him very much. Unfortunately for him, the twits who “own” his ponds are incapable of declaring affection through any means but swan theft and are in need of a graceful pawn.

166 pages, Kindle Edition

Published December 28, 2022

85 people are currently reading
683 people want to read

About the author

Daria Vernon

6 books72 followers
DARIA VERNON peaked in the third grade.

Her debut book, about a cockatiel named Popcorn, was published in first grade by Mrs. Sawyer’s Imprint—a feisty independent press consisting of a lamination machine in the janitor’s closet next door to the classroom. In second grade, she declared to her mother that she would win the statewide “Day in the Classroom” essay contest. Her mom taught her the word “cocky” in the context of “don’t be,” but she went on to win the essay contest and a $100 bill. By the end of third grade she had penned (and illustrated) more than half a dozen spiral bound books, had attended multiple Young Author’s Conventions, and had been awarded the school district’s highest honor for a poem about chess that strained the limitations of metaphor.

It was downhill from there.

Today Daria sweats over the computer keys in the hopes of bringing adventurous historical romances to life for her readers. Sometimes swashbuckling. Sometimes gothic. Always sensually steamy.

When Daria isn’t writing, she can be found: *figure skating, *enjoying retro French pop dance nights, *solo traveling, playing dress up, tending to her mental health and crafting/creating.
*These items subject to the status of raging global pandemic at time of writing.


You can keep up with Daria's books and antics at the links below:






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5 stars
206 (32%)
4 stars
272 (42%)
3 stars
132 (20%)
2 stars
21 (3%)
1 star
9 (1%)
Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews
Profile Image for Hannah B..
1,176 reviews2,162 followers
January 19, 2023
Lord I see what thee hath done for others when is it MY turn to get bathed by a sexy neighbor??? I’ll be his damsel in undress any day 😩
Profile Image for PlotTrysts.
1,204 reviews471 followers
January 1, 2023
This is a lighthearted historical take on the "one night stand leads to more!" April Nightingale is determined that someone in her life is going to make a love match. Why not Gerald, her swan? Unfortunately, Gerald keeps swimming around in the neighbors' pond, not the Nightingales'. April does what any self-respecting swan breeder would do: she marches right over to the Derrings' to bring Gerald home.

Her swan wrangling leads to a mishap with the pond, which leads to sneaking into young Mr. Derring's bathing room for a bath, which leads to much, much more. Unfortunately for both of them, April is not as free in her life as she is with her favors.

This is a delightful novella featuring a spunky, sexy, spirited FMC and the man who falls in love with her at first f*ck. It was a real pleasure to read about this compatible couple and their eventual HEA. If you like a good instalust leading to instalove, then this will definitely hit the spot!
Profile Image for Hot Mess Sommelière ~ Caro.
1,486 reviews239 followers
May 4, 2023
Fabulous, loved it.

Nothing to add really. I wish this was a movie.

I hope there will be a sequel.

Great writing too, so I already bought another novel by this author.
Profile Image for Victoria (Eve's Alexandria).
841 reviews448 followers
December 31, 2022
This light-hearted novella is ridiculous fun - amorous swans, faux regency banter, bathtub sex and a sweet HEA make for a quick, delightful read. I was surprised by how heart-felt the romance became, and how well Daria Vernon moved the characters on from an instalust tryst to meaningful emotional connection. One of my beefs with romance right now is how often the characters don’t seem to have anything in common, other than mutual physical appreciation and a few nice gestures - here April and Leo have plenty of shared interests to talk about. There’s even a little bonus epilogue with a secondary romance!

It’s like Lost in Austen meets bird-watching. If you have a stray hour or two, and you want cheering up, this could do it. I’m on my way to download her mermaid romance…
Profile Image for Ali L.
375 reviews8,342 followers
June 2, 2023
April just wants to get her stupid swan back but when she falls into her neighbor’s scummy pond trying to retrieve him, she also falls into lust with the estate owner’s uni-dimpled son. After a thankfully long bathing scene (pond water is gnarly, team) they have a fun bang sesh before April departs to return her dumbass swan to her house and make sacrifices for her family. Can a one-day fling turn into a long-term thing? Why are Sad Dads so appealing? Can we stop pilfering water fowl? It’s 130 pages and on KU, dedicate 90 minutes to it and find out.
Profile Image for ToriLovesHea’s.
537 reviews98 followers
January 11, 2023
This is one of THE most delightfully angsty, charming HR novellas I’ve ever read! Bless you, Daria Vernon. This was an absolute delight to read!

I wasn’t sure how a regency one night stand was going to play out. Would this be an “oh no we’ve been compromised” moment? Or a “we have to ignore this pull between us” moment? Daria took this in a completely different direction than I expected and it was so charming and swoony.

April and Leopold’s back and forth swan antiques to draw each other’s attention was hysterical. I kept imagining poor Gerald the Swan being sailed over the division between their land thinking “dear god, you two dummies, just admit you LOVE EACH OTHER ALREADY”. Sometimes the animals have it right.

I wasn’t prepared for how angsty this was! And usually angst makes me nervous and shaky (I’m a baby, okay), but Daria really had the emotions of our MCs bleeding onto the page. They want each other SO BAD, but April has obligations to marry a man she’s never met to save her family and Leo can’t find the words to say to get her out of it and into his arms forever. Cue swan launching across the berm.

GTOML had the perfect blend of romcom moments with touches of angst in just the right spots for a really fun, heart squeezing read.

Bathtub banging, swan launching, angsty in town run ins, dastardly fiancés, and some seriously beautiful lines between our MCs = a perfect HR read for me. 10/10!
Profile Image for Christi (christireadsalot).
2,793 reviews1,434 followers
January 28, 2023
Get Thee Off My Lawn is a historical romance romcom novella (about 130 pages) that starts with a swan problem and ends up leading to a hookup that leads to more! 🦢 This read was an absolute delight and I had the best time with it!

“April Nightingale, I will never draw a map to see you away from me...I shall only draw maps to bring you back.”

April Nightingale is distraught that her beloved swan Gerald has been on the neighbor’s property for 3 days and has not returned home. So she sets out to sneak onto the neighboring lands and get him back. It is around this time that Leopold Derring spots her. He finds April trespassing on his father’s land, stuck in a muddy pond, and presumably trying to steal a swan.

The banter was top-notch and I had such a fun time with this read! It’s quick and witty and fun and just an absolute delight. April and Leo sneak into his father’s house to dry off and clean up in his room, which leads to a quick hookup! I love that we have both an experienced heroine and hero. April goes back home and days later Leo is left wanting more, so he arranges a chance-meeting and is surprised with what he finds out about April. Which so was I, and I loved the perfect angst it created for the story! Leo is a cartographer who has been away from home traveling for almost a decade and April lives with her mother and sisters next door. This was just everything I wanted in a historical novella, loved the couple, loved Gerald the swan, the sweet epilogue including his father, so good!
Profile Image for Caroline.
628 reviews443 followers
April 3, 2023
This was literally so charming I’m obsessed. It’s exactly my brand of humor and also so sweet, and the steamy scenes?? HOT. There’s only a couple but they delivered, the first one especially (in the BATH Y’ALL)

I’m also so impressed with the level of depth delivered in 14 chapters?? It’s a hookup-turned-instalove (that *plot things* get in the way of), but their compatibility and chemistry is so spot on I had no trouble buying into it. There are even a few tender moments that had me tearing up a little, which I did not see coming in a novella about a woman trespassing to try to steal her swan back from her neighbor’s land only to be caught by the neighbor’s hot son.

Also Gerald the swan <3

CW: sexual content, infidelity, illness
Profile Image for juli✨.
1,179 reviews144 followers
May 2, 2023
“Will you draw me a map?” April pointed at his piece of art.
“April Nightingale, I will never draw a map to see you away from me...” He took two strides forward and kissed her, lingering over her lips once he pulled away. “I shall only draw maps to bring you back.”



🦢✨💕
Profile Image for Amanda books_ergo_sum.
658 reviews85 followers
January 24, 2023
First of all, this cover? Obsessed. The title, the font, the swan?? The 1970s-esque regency costume plus full glam eyeshadow? All of it.

I loved the beginning. The ‘trespassing to retrieve my swan named Gerald’ meet-cute hooked me right in. April was such a nut 😆

For me, the special sauce of this historical romance was the way April felt like a regular girl. Can you call someone an Around The Way Girl if she’s from rural regency England rather than 1980s Brooklyn? I don’t know, she just didn’t have that paper doll/‘I don’t know what a clit is’ feeling that some historicals get trapped in.

I liked all the romcom shenanigans our characters got up to. My only wish was that the all-day conversation they had where they fell for each other had been at least partially on-page.

Still, a very fun and surprisingly heart-squeezey KU novella.
Profile Image for Bethany.
486 reviews1,964 followers
dnf
August 10, 2023
dnf @ 26%

This wasn't bad per se, I just wasn't that invested in what was happening, put it down, left it on currently reading for a few months and then realised actually I had 0 intention of ever picking it up again.

Super pretty cover, though.
Profile Image for CB.
460 reviews19 followers
November 5, 2024
REVIEW
Score: 5/5
POV: Dual
Heat Level: 3/5
Tropes: Neighbors; HR; Victorian Era; instalove

Likes:
* both MCs.
* the banter and the uniqueness of them coming together because of a swan lol

Dislikes:
* the FMCs middle sister. I mean it worked out how she acted but like she can also go eat dirt lol.


This was a very cute novella. I was excited to read an HR Romcom as that’s not a very common trope/genre. I actually don’t typically enjoy novellas because a lot of the time it’s just too rushed for me to enjoy the story and it lacks too much plot but this was very well done. There was a good plot, a lot uniqueness thrown into this story, and the instalove part was actually believable.

5/5
Profile Image for kory..
1,266 reviews131 followers
April 25, 2024
jess mariano would be appalled by this book, what with all the swan hugging that goes on. but seriously, i’m obsessed with this silly, charming novella. this is what i want in a romance!!!! delightfully absurd with a touch of angst.

content/trigger warnings; explicit sexual content, cheating, illness,
Profile Image for Σελήνη.
533 reviews6 followers
September 12, 2023
I don't like rating novella but I think 2 or 2.5 stars is fair in that case.

I'm not into the mean sister trope, the dialogues were a bit strange at times and it was way too insta lust and insta love for me to really believe in it, especially with the story taking place over such a short period of time, but the swan angle was different and fun, the MMC was a cutie and I liked Daria Vernon's writing.
Profile Image for Kaleigh Basso.
186 reviews85 followers
January 23, 2023
I had so much fun with this. If you live regency era but wish it was a little less stuffy, this is for you.

A little spice, a little banter, and a lot of heart. ❤️
Profile Image for T Rojo.
790 reviews20 followers
November 12, 2024
I was sort of confused the first few chapters and didn’t really know what was going on but the rest of book was smooth sailing and adorable. Also, pretty hot. Absolutely loved the epilogue!
Profile Image for Julie.
Author 8 books43 followers
February 20, 2023
The daring escape to a neighbor’s pond of an occasionally cantankerous, and often mischief-minded, swan named Gerald, results in a “meet dirty” between April and Leo, when the former gets mired in some muck, in an attempt to retrieve her stubborn cygnet. What follows is some very X-rated bath time, and a night spent together that neither will soon forget.

But are April and Leo destined to mate for life, like the swans April so adores? Or will the stodgy Victorian era rules of courtesy and conduct thwart these soulmates’ happily ever after?

Get Thee off My Lawn is a saucy, spicy, historical rom com novella that tips the scales at a brisk 130 pages (with relatively large print), that can be read in a single sitting. I thought it was a pretty good time!

The story had sort of a fairy tale feel to it, complete with somewhat anthropomorphic swans scheming to bring our romantic leads together. There was also plenty of madcap humor, witty banter between Leo and April throughout the tale, and a couple of mild villains who somewhat got their comeuppance by the story’s end. It even offered a small, but sweet, side romance, that gets its own time to shine in the tale’s epilogue.

I think Vernon excelled here in telling what felt like a complete, fun, and surprisingly sexy, story with minimal page count. I would definitely check out other stories by her in the future.
Profile Image for Trianna/Treereads.
1,139 reviews55 followers
January 24, 2023
This novella gets the job done!! It's a testament to this story that I enjoyed this so much since I was in a weird emotional state while reading most of it so I can see myself coming back to it and enjoying it even more.

If you're looking for a steamy historical with a ton of avian puns and just the right amount of chaos I highly recommend this one.

Also can we take a moment to appreciate this cover?? Let's bring back the dramatic fonts on historicals!!
Profile Image for Yas.
710 reviews114 followers
July 22, 2023
4.5 Novella Stars: What in the silly, spicy, swan-foolery did I just read?
This already deserves a high rating because of the cover & Title alone

Fun RomCom infused with the charm of historical Romances. Would read again!
Also: The bathing scene? 10/10

🗂Genre: Historical Romance
📕Type: Novella

🏷Tropes:
- Neighbors to Lovers
- Swan-obsessed FMC
- Fun
- Spice
- Pining

⚠️Safety: no cheating, no owd, slight omd (h is arranged to be married to someone else), mean sibling, death of a parent (mentioned)

📖Format: 3rd person, dual POV

🎧Theme song: Taylor Swift, Brendon Urie - ME!
Profile Image for Kateryna.
652 reviews
January 15, 2023
I loved this historical novella. Lately, I’ve really struggled with reading anything historical. This proves the exception as it’s got playfulness, heat and excellent execution. The plot moves quickly but you’re given enough details to shape the characters. I’d definitely recommend reading this. Cheering for you April, Leo and the swans!
Profile Image for Kelsey.
410 reviews32 followers
July 9, 2025
This was perfect? My first by Daria Vernon and a delight from start to finish (and truly everyone was finishing, even the swans). I loved how well these two characters were fleshed out in tight page space, I LOVED how the reader feels the reveals alongside the characters, and I loved the push-and-pull to get to a believable happily ever after. Just lovely.
Profile Image for J.L. Thornton.
Author 1 book2 followers
April 29, 2024
This is an incredibly fun, charming, and silly novella with really likeable characters and a playful, engaging writing style. I do feel like this existed in some nebulous semi-regency era that allowed for the desired plot point but otherwise didn't matter and wasn't explained. This wasn't a huge deal, but you do have to go in with a certain level of suspended disbelief as far as this being historical. This was also very much a rom-com in the slightly ridiculous way, especially when it comes to convenient antagonists and solutions to problems. Yet did I enjoy reading it? Absolutely. I loved the characters and the focus on banter and playfulness between them, and the use of the swan as a plot point and character was cute and creative. Overall, not a groundbreaking book, but one I'd still recommend for a quick, happy, and somewhat spicy read.
Profile Image for Ella.
894 reviews8 followers
February 1, 2023
Absolutely bonkers. I have no notes. This was so silly—as you might hope for in a romance novella whose primary plot revolves around a swan who likes to sneak away into a neighbor’s pond—and charming, yet also unexpectedly tender.
Profile Image for Sasha.
1,373 reviews11 followers
February 23, 2023
DNF. This started out promising, but then the heroine lost all respect and became a bones-jumper out of nowhere, and it really clashed with the developed personality for me. I don't like instalust. No substance.
Profile Image for i_hype_romance.
1,190 reviews53 followers
December 29, 2022
This gem of a novella packed exquisite yearning into its fourteen chapters.

There are so many things I loved, it’s difficult to condense them into a bite-sized list. But I’m going to try because every romance reader should experience this writer’s unique voice.

1. The nuanced, situational humor that is a delightful mash-up of tongue in cheek Dickensian buffoonery and I Love Lucy slapstick shenanigans.

2. An immediate connection between the main characters, April & Leo, that blossoms into both physical and emotional intimacy. The connection feels organic rather than forced, and is full of both the spicy after bite of an habanero and the sweet calm of cardamom.

3. The full cast of side characters - both humans and cantankerous creatures.

4. The prose. It is both pragmatic and florid. It is full of courtesy and grace and metaphors that offer profound insight into the hearts and motivations of the characters. (I wanted to pick up my collection of Emily Dickinson when I finished reading, because 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒊𝒂’s writing reminded me so much of hers.)

So what’s this delightful story about?

Two people who’ve always struggled to find their place in the world are brought together by a swan some would call the spawn of Satan for his tendency to bite, a hem and shoes full of mysterious muck, and a romp in a copper tub that leads to confessions and collusion.
Profile Image for Abi Mallett.
274 reviews28 followers
January 1, 2023
Daria Vernon is becoming one of my favourite historical romance authors. Her heroines are not the typical meek maidens and have a past and a drive to be true to themselves.
Here we have Leo Derring and April Nightingale who meet when April's swan Gerald wanders off into her neighbours property. The two have an instant connection and snatch an afternoon of freedom for themselves. The author turns a situation of insta lust into a sweet and tender romance really well, especially considering the novella length of the story. The couple have alot in common which builds upon their bond. There's also lots of banter and witty dialogue. 🥰
The supporting characters also add extra depth to the story and are used to optimum effect.
April was adorable and Leo was just an absolute sweetheart.
Can't wait to see what this author does next.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 153 reviews

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