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Husband and Wife
“Leah Stewart’s brilliantly written novel Husband and Wife is a deeply human funny, tender, smart, self-aware. When you read it you will laugh, you will cry, you will recognize others, you will recognize yourself.” — Elin Hilderbrand, author of The Castaways and Barefoot From the highly acclaimed author of The Myth of You and Me comes a new novel about a young mother who finds her identity rocked to the core when her writer-husband reveals his next novel about infidelity isn’t entirely fiction. Fans of Meg Wolitzer, Ayelet Waldman, and Marisa de los Santos, as well as memoirs like Happens Every Day and Perfection , will love Leah Stewart’s Husband and Wife .
352 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 2010
85 people are currently reading
1816 people want to read
About the author
Leah Stewart
15 books368 followersI'm the author of five novels: BODY OF A GIRL, THE MYTH OF YOU AND ME, HUSBAND AND WIFE, THE HISTORY OF US, and THE NEW NEIGHBOR. I teach in the creative writing program at the University of Cincinnati.
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January 5, 2011
Sarah is 35 years old, married to Nathan and has two children, aged 3 and 5 months. She works full time supporting her husband, a writer. Nathan had a $50,000 advance for his latest book, named Infedelity and just as the proofs arrive, when Sarah is getting ready to go to the wedding of two of their friends, Nathan sits her down and tells her that Infidelity is not exactly fiction. Over a year ago at a writers conference, Nathan cheated on Sarah with another writer there and he used this experience to write the novel – which his agent assures them is going to be ‘the big one’.
Sarah is wiped out by the admission but she still manages to collect herself together enough to prop Nathan up and get them both to the wedding, and through the duet-style speech/toast they have to give, as close friends of the couple. Having confessed his sin, it seems that Nathan just falls apart waiting for Sarah to decide their future and he swears that he will not publish the book if that is what she wants. He swears he still loves her, that it was just a drunken indiscretion and that he wants to be with her alone but Sarah has trouble believing this, knowing that deep down, there must be some sort of dissatisfaction for Nathan within their marriage that would compel him to do such a thing.
At first Sarah wants to work things out but then she asks Nathan to leave and he promptly disappears off the face of the Earth for days, leaving Sarah struggling to find childcare for the children so that she can go to work. As she learns more – like the fact that the writer Nathan had an affair with is coming to do a reading in their town, on a weekend Nathan had urged her to go out of town – she takes off back to where she used to live, which is a 2 day drive. Armed with her two children, she turns up in Austin, on the doorstep of her former housemate, Helen, seeking to reclaim a little of her younger self.
Before having children, Sarah was a poet. She wrote poems, something she admits that she hasn’t worked on since the children were born. Being now the sole consistent breadwinner and also a mother, she finds little time to devote to her writing now. There’s also the lure of Rajiv to soothe her wounded ego – Rajiv the film director, impossibly beautiful, who admits to having carried a torch for Sarah for many years – to being ‘a little bit in love with her’.
In Austin Sarah enjoys reconnecting with Helen (also a poet) and learns that she might have to force herself to make time to devote to writing, like Helen does, even if it is terribly self indulgent. She spends time with Rajiv, who makes it more than clear how he still feels about her, even with her baggage now of two kids 3 and under. When Nathan suddenly arrives in Austin, she has to decide their future, what she has been putting off.
I liked this book in the beginning. I thought that Sarah’s reaction to Nathan’s confession was quite realistic – she can’t afford to meltdown just yet, she knows she has an important wedding to go to. She struggles to get through that day despite her anguish. Nathan seems overcome with remorse and I thought this might be a really interesting novel on the mechanics of rebuilding a relationship (or severing it) after an instance of infidelity.
For me, the novel went southward when Sarah asked Nathan to leave. He takes off for days, with no contact, doesn’t answer his phone, doesn’t let her know he’s okay, doesn’t ask after their children, despite him being the primary stay at home parent, an arrangement that was worked out for him so that he had time to write. When a couple split up, the parental responsibility doesn’t stop for the parent who leaves the marital home – and so often people are used to the woman being the primary caregiver. I thought it was a very selfish move on the character of Nathan’s part to completely abandon the children, even if it was only temporarily. He was the one who had done wrong in the marriage, he wasn’t the injured party running off to lick his wounds.
Not that Sarah covered herself in glory either. I’ve never been a fan of an ‘eye for an eye’ style revenge, even if I can see the attraction of it in a situation like this. Firstly she comes onto Nathan’s close friend, who has stepped in and helps her look after the children when Nathan has disappeared, begging him to kiss her, even though he has a girlfriend. Then, when she takes off on a whim to Austin, hauling her two children across the country, it’s clearly all about Rajiv and using him as a way to boost up her ego. Which might be fine if the guy wasn’t in love with her, and hadn’t been in love with her for years. By all means, go out and have a fling if it makes you feel better, but she could’ve at least chosen someone who wasn’t so emotionally invested. A guy she kissed years ago, a guy who had told her he was in love with her, a guy who she has chosen Nathan over before. I lost a lot of respect for her as a character when she made that decision.
Having been hurt, I can understand her desire to inflict some pain herself, but she involved a pretty innocent third party and that annoyed me immensely. Don’t bring other people into your messed up world when you’re not in the position to offer them what they’re looking for, and you know that.
Although the book touches on a possible issue contributing to Nathan’s fidelity – his belief that Sarah has ‘changed’ from her University days and doesn’t see herself as a writer anymore – I actually felt that this was quite weakly done and should’ve been more deeply explored. It actually seemed a bit of a cop out on Nathan’s part to use that as an excuse, as Sarah works full time to support his writing career. Change is a good topic to explore, when people who are highly creative settle down into the roles of husband and wife, mother and father. A lot of the time the devotion you had for your particular craft, no matter what it is, has to take a step back even temporarily so that you can devote yourself to your children and your partner. If someone does change a little, I’m not sure it’s a legitimate excuse to go out and sleep with another person – someone who is still apparently devoted to their craft.
The novel also lacked a definitive ending for me. I know what Sarah decides to do, and I guess we are supposed to just guess for ourselves how it works out for her, but they could’ve showed Sarah’s thought processes about taking this step. It quite frankly, comes out of no where and I don’t know why she chooses to do that. I don’t know how she works out any of the differences and the issues because that isn’t in the book. Self-indulgent and unlikable characters and a narrative riddled with gaps meant that this novel disintegrated pretty quickly for me. I didn’t enjoy either Nathan or Sarah and was left wondering about too many things in this book.
Sarah is wiped out by the admission but she still manages to collect herself together enough to prop Nathan up and get them both to the wedding, and through the duet-style speech/toast they have to give, as close friends of the couple. Having confessed his sin, it seems that Nathan just falls apart waiting for Sarah to decide their future and he swears that he will not publish the book if that is what she wants. He swears he still loves her, that it was just a drunken indiscretion and that he wants to be with her alone but Sarah has trouble believing this, knowing that deep down, there must be some sort of dissatisfaction for Nathan within their marriage that would compel him to do such a thing.
At first Sarah wants to work things out but then she asks Nathan to leave and he promptly disappears off the face of the Earth for days, leaving Sarah struggling to find childcare for the children so that she can go to work. As she learns more – like the fact that the writer Nathan had an affair with is coming to do a reading in their town, on a weekend Nathan had urged her to go out of town – she takes off back to where she used to live, which is a 2 day drive. Armed with her two children, she turns up in Austin, on the doorstep of her former housemate, Helen, seeking to reclaim a little of her younger self.
Before having children, Sarah was a poet. She wrote poems, something she admits that she hasn’t worked on since the children were born. Being now the sole consistent breadwinner and also a mother, she finds little time to devote to her writing now. There’s also the lure of Rajiv to soothe her wounded ego – Rajiv the film director, impossibly beautiful, who admits to having carried a torch for Sarah for many years – to being ‘a little bit in love with her’.
In Austin Sarah enjoys reconnecting with Helen (also a poet) and learns that she might have to force herself to make time to devote to writing, like Helen does, even if it is terribly self indulgent. She spends time with Rajiv, who makes it more than clear how he still feels about her, even with her baggage now of two kids 3 and under. When Nathan suddenly arrives in Austin, she has to decide their future, what she has been putting off.
I liked this book in the beginning. I thought that Sarah’s reaction to Nathan’s confession was quite realistic – she can’t afford to meltdown just yet, she knows she has an important wedding to go to. She struggles to get through that day despite her anguish. Nathan seems overcome with remorse and I thought this might be a really interesting novel on the mechanics of rebuilding a relationship (or severing it) after an instance of infidelity.
For me, the novel went southward when Sarah asked Nathan to leave. He takes off for days, with no contact, doesn’t answer his phone, doesn’t let her know he’s okay, doesn’t ask after their children, despite him being the primary stay at home parent, an arrangement that was worked out for him so that he had time to write. When a couple split up, the parental responsibility doesn’t stop for the parent who leaves the marital home – and so often people are used to the woman being the primary caregiver. I thought it was a very selfish move on the character of Nathan’s part to completely abandon the children, even if it was only temporarily. He was the one who had done wrong in the marriage, he wasn’t the injured party running off to lick his wounds.
Not that Sarah covered herself in glory either. I’ve never been a fan of an ‘eye for an eye’ style revenge, even if I can see the attraction of it in a situation like this. Firstly she comes onto Nathan’s close friend, who has stepped in and helps her look after the children when Nathan has disappeared, begging him to kiss her, even though he has a girlfriend. Then, when she takes off on a whim to Austin, hauling her two children across the country, it’s clearly all about Rajiv and using him as a way to boost up her ego. Which might be fine if the guy wasn’t in love with her, and hadn’t been in love with her for years. By all means, go out and have a fling if it makes you feel better, but she could’ve at least chosen someone who wasn’t so emotionally invested. A guy she kissed years ago, a guy who had told her he was in love with her, a guy who she has chosen Nathan over before. I lost a lot of respect for her as a character when she made that decision.
Having been hurt, I can understand her desire to inflict some pain herself, but she involved a pretty innocent third party and that annoyed me immensely. Don’t bring other people into your messed up world when you’re not in the position to offer them what they’re looking for, and you know that.
Although the book touches on a possible issue contributing to Nathan’s fidelity – his belief that Sarah has ‘changed’ from her University days and doesn’t see herself as a writer anymore – I actually felt that this was quite weakly done and should’ve been more deeply explored. It actually seemed a bit of a cop out on Nathan’s part to use that as an excuse, as Sarah works full time to support his writing career. Change is a good topic to explore, when people who are highly creative settle down into the roles of husband and wife, mother and father. A lot of the time the devotion you had for your particular craft, no matter what it is, has to take a step back even temporarily so that you can devote yourself to your children and your partner. If someone does change a little, I’m not sure it’s a legitimate excuse to go out and sleep with another person – someone who is still apparently devoted to their craft.
The novel also lacked a definitive ending for me. I know what Sarah decides to do, and I guess we are supposed to just guess for ourselves how it works out for her, but they could’ve showed Sarah’s thought processes about taking this step. It quite frankly, comes out of no where and I don’t know why she chooses to do that. I don’t know how she works out any of the differences and the issues because that isn’t in the book. Self-indulgent and unlikable characters and a narrative riddled with gaps meant that this novel disintegrated pretty quickly for me. I didn’t enjoy either Nathan or Sarah and was left wondering about too many things in this book.
July 31, 2013
I wish I could give this book 3 stars for the story and five stars for the spot-on depiction of married life and parenting. This is a story about a woman whose husband admits that the book he is writing about infidelity is actually partially true. The rest of the book deals with the consequences of this for them and their two young children and how the wife will ultimately respond to the whole thing. While I felt like the story started to drag a bit about halfway through, I stayed with it because the author stunned me with her ability to capture the relentless immediacy of life with small children - the way big things end up on the back burner because kids keep you stuck in the "right now" of diaper changes and Cheerios and naptimes. She nailed it as far as what it is like to try to write (or "be a writer") when you are also a mom, and can those two things even overlap? And, wow, some of the stuff about identity and motherhood (and how different that is from fatherhood) hit so close to home, I almost felt like she was reading my mind. I loved how she described the ups and downs of married life - how you can cycle between passionate love and indifference/hatred (!) in the span of 15 minutes, and oh, there was so much more. Loved so many little moments in this book. I should have taken notes!
September 6, 2011
On the surface, this book is about a man who cheated on his wife. But really it's about reconciling who you've become when it's not who you wanted to become, i.e. being true to yourself doesn't mean that you can't change who you are.
(Also, I am now convinced that being a single mother to two young children might possibly be the worst fate in the world.)
So glad I went to see Leah Stewart speak at Thurber House this summer. She's seemed like the perfect blend of who I am and who I admire.
Favorite Quotes:
Why do the same things happen to everyone?
We want to be known when we do, and we want to be unknown when we don't, just like we want someone to touch us and kiss us until we don't anymore.
I resented the hell out of the back of his head.
Living with someone else is all about food...What are you going to eat and when are you going to eat it and who's going to cook it or should you go out.
I was going to click my heels and go home, where life would be, as it is anywhere, a little bit dull Kansas, a little bit great and terrible Oz.
(Also, I am now convinced that being a single mother to two young children might possibly be the worst fate in the world.)
So glad I went to see Leah Stewart speak at Thurber House this summer. She's seemed like the perfect blend of who I am and who I admire.
Favorite Quotes:
Why do the same things happen to everyone?
We want to be known when we do, and we want to be unknown when we don't, just like we want someone to touch us and kiss us until we don't anymore.
I resented the hell out of the back of his head.
Living with someone else is all about food...What are you going to eat and when are you going to eat it and who's going to cook it or should you go out.
I was going to click my heels and go home, where life would be, as it is anywhere, a little bit dull Kansas, a little bit great and terrible Oz.
July 14, 2011
The biggest problem I had with this book is that I found it incredibly boring. It shouldn't have been. It's a great plot but whether it was the author's voice or just her use of too much information I found myself skipping (not just skimming) large sections of the book.
I had very little sympathy for the main character, Sarah, even though she was obviously done very wrong by her husband. But she became such a victim. Everything in her life, she blamed on everyone else. Yes, the cheating is horrible but most of the book was Sarah's lack of identity. Her loss of herself was not motherhood's fault, it was not her husband's fault. It was her decisions that took her to where she was in life. (Again, not condoning the infidelity).
Yes, everyone has there regrets in life. It's called life!
Once Sarah decided to kiss Smith and then have her own affair, the character was totally lost to me. The ending was down right depressing.
I had very little sympathy for the main character, Sarah, even though she was obviously done very wrong by her husband. But she became such a victim. Everything in her life, she blamed on everyone else. Yes, the cheating is horrible but most of the book was Sarah's lack of identity. Her loss of herself was not motherhood's fault, it was not her husband's fault. It was her decisions that took her to where she was in life. (Again, not condoning the infidelity).
Yes, everyone has there regrets in life. It's called life!
Once Sarah decided to kiss Smith and then have her own affair, the character was totally lost to me. The ending was down right depressing.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 7, 2021
I liked this one more than I expected. She’s justifiably angry until she isn’t. HFN ending (maybe).
Read
July 25, 2011Sarah and Nathan have a fairly idyllic life—they have two beautiful children, great friends and Nathan has a successful career as a novelist, with his newest book, Infidelity, about to be released. And then Nathan drops a bombshell on Sarah: he slept with another woman once during a writer's conference. Needless to say, this revelation throws Sarah for a loop, causing her to question everything—her marriage, whether she is satisfied with the path her life has taken, even whether she should have acted on a flirtation during graduate school when she and Nathan were already engaged.
While this book treads some fairly familiar territory, I found Leah Stewart's treatment of Sarah and Nathan's story to be very compelling. More than just a story of a troubled marriage, of how to handle betrayal, the story touched on just how far you should pursue your dreams and ambitions, and what sacrifices should be made for the sake of marriage and children. At times I was slightly frustrated by all that Sarah didn't say—to her husband, her friends and others—but I understand that this behavior is fairly true to what often happens in this situation.
Leah Stewart is a terrific writer, and it is her skill that helps this book transcend the possible soap opera-like pitfalls it could have encountered. I'd also highly recommend her book The Myth of You and Me, a fantastic story of friendship and betrayal.
While this book treads some fairly familiar territory, I found Leah Stewart's treatment of Sarah and Nathan's story to be very compelling. More than just a story of a troubled marriage, of how to handle betrayal, the story touched on just how far you should pursue your dreams and ambitions, and what sacrifices should be made for the sake of marriage and children. At times I was slightly frustrated by all that Sarah didn't say—to her husband, her friends and others—but I understand that this behavior is fairly true to what often happens in this situation.
Leah Stewart is a terrific writer, and it is her skill that helps this book transcend the possible soap opera-like pitfalls it could have encountered. I'd also highly recommend her book The Myth of You and Me, a fantastic story of friendship and betrayal.
August 19, 2013
This was good, fast read. There were parts that I earmarked because, Oh my gosh, I've said/thought the exact same thing. My husband and I have had very similar discussions. While the premise is sad, it felt quite real to me, so that made it good.
May 21, 2010
Standard story, husband confesses infidelity, wife goes through emotional crisis. But SO WELL TOLD. Poetic in its well-phrased insights.
May 17, 2010
Husband and Wife opens on a common domestic scene, but it's not tranquil. The baby sitter has arrived to attend to the two young children of Sarah Price and her husband, Nathan, as they prepare to go out for the evening. Sarah is searching for her husband's shoe and resisting the urge to go breastfeed her baby son when Nathan shatters this contained chaos. He confesses that his pending publication titled, Infidelity, holds some basis in fact. He had an affair the previous year while attending a writers conference. Ironically, they are getting ready to attend the wedding of two of their closest friends.
When Sarah and Nathan met, they gravitated to each other. They shared a passion for the written word, him as a fiction writer and her as a poet. They explored the joys and difficulties of their art together. Then they married and had their first child, and then a second. Nathan continued to write while Sarah drifted away from her poetry into the role of mother and provider. She did not mind so much, or at least she believed that she didn't, until Nathan's tearful revelation as she hands him the missing shoe.
The pages that follow paint a lyrical exploration of the aftermath of infidelity. Stewart renders a believable and empathetic telling of Sarah's journey to reclaim her personal identity which she allowed to be subsumed by responsibility and self-doubt. She rediscovers her poetic voice and the thrill of writing by revisiting the path that she did not choose. This path is personified by Rajiv, a handsome filmmaker and college chum, who expressed deep affection for her several times, over several years. She always declined his advances and returned to Nathan. Did she make the right choice?
Stewart keeps this common story fresh with her well developed and quirky characters. Alternately sad, insightful and comical, the end result is a very real story that could be anyone's experience rather than the hyperbole that often accompanies tales about infidelity. The novel is also full of literary references made by the characters, several writers themselves. As a writer and a reader, I appreciated the additional depth provided by the references. Sometimes our words are not enough to express what we feel, and sometimes, someone else said it better first. Sarah uses the words of other writers to give depth to her own and when language fails her.
Stewart also gives a glimpse into Sarah's writing life. She inserts poems authored by Sarah into the text as she rediscovers her ability to write. Nathan's writing also makes an appearance as a short story. Stewart accomplishes this without breaking the rhythm and flow of the novel. Husband and Wife almost reads as a poem itself; it has a cadence, is told in three parts or stanzas, and loops back beautifully to the opening of the book, just before it ends.
When Sarah and Nathan met, they gravitated to each other. They shared a passion for the written word, him as a fiction writer and her as a poet. They explored the joys and difficulties of their art together. Then they married and had their first child, and then a second. Nathan continued to write while Sarah drifted away from her poetry into the role of mother and provider. She did not mind so much, or at least she believed that she didn't, until Nathan's tearful revelation as she hands him the missing shoe.
The pages that follow paint a lyrical exploration of the aftermath of infidelity. Stewart renders a believable and empathetic telling of Sarah's journey to reclaim her personal identity which she allowed to be subsumed by responsibility and self-doubt. She rediscovers her poetic voice and the thrill of writing by revisiting the path that she did not choose. This path is personified by Rajiv, a handsome filmmaker and college chum, who expressed deep affection for her several times, over several years. She always declined his advances and returned to Nathan. Did she make the right choice?
Stewart keeps this common story fresh with her well developed and quirky characters. Alternately sad, insightful and comical, the end result is a very real story that could be anyone's experience rather than the hyperbole that often accompanies tales about infidelity. The novel is also full of literary references made by the characters, several writers themselves. As a writer and a reader, I appreciated the additional depth provided by the references. Sometimes our words are not enough to express what we feel, and sometimes, someone else said it better first. Sarah uses the words of other writers to give depth to her own and when language fails her.
Stewart also gives a glimpse into Sarah's writing life. She inserts poems authored by Sarah into the text as she rediscovers her ability to write. Nathan's writing also makes an appearance as a short story. Stewart accomplishes this without breaking the rhythm and flow of the novel. Husband and Wife almost reads as a poem itself; it has a cadence, is told in three parts or stanzas, and loops back beautifully to the opening of the book, just before it ends.
July 5, 2010
This book was wonderful. While the subject matter is not easy and encompasses much that people don't like to think or talk about, I could not put this book down. It was beautifully written and heartachingly complex.
The story opens up with Sarah Price getting ready for a wedding. She is putting herself together, coralling her children and assisting her husband, as always, with finding his missing shoe. Out of nowhere her husband confesses to cheating on her. And so it begins.
When I began this book I believed I firmly knew how I would feel about what this character is going through and how I would react in this same situation: punch my husband in the stomach and kick him out the door. But like many well developed stories (such as works by Jodi Picoult) once I really started reading the story and getting to know the characters, I found my resilence waivering. Sarah is so often in her head, explaining her reasoning and breaking down her logic. I found myself relating to this character like I haven't in quite a long time. She worries about her children's safety to the point of anxiety and unjustifiable clarity. She has trouble defining herself outside of working mother, loyal wife. She sometimes longs for the past and wonders what would have happened if she just turned left instead of right. She sometimes wants to strangle her husband for his lack of understanding and incredible onesidedness while also wanting to wrap her arms around him for the simple ways he loves his family. If I could relate to her on all of these levels, how could I be so different from her in her way of dealing with his betrayal? And I wouldn't even have said husband writing and publishing a book with all the nasty details of his infidelity!
Leah Stewart takes her readers on an emotional and logical rollercoaster with this book. Every action and reaction of her characters is familiar and yet so hard to understand. What makes a person cheat and what makes a person be faithful? When should we leave and when should we stay? Where do we draw the line? The reader is left to make those decisions for themselves while moving along with Sarah on her journey of resolution and re-self discovery. I loved this book and can't wait to read her others!
The story opens up with Sarah Price getting ready for a wedding. She is putting herself together, coralling her children and assisting her husband, as always, with finding his missing shoe. Out of nowhere her husband confesses to cheating on her. And so it begins.
When I began this book I believed I firmly knew how I would feel about what this character is going through and how I would react in this same situation: punch my husband in the stomach and kick him out the door. But like many well developed stories (such as works by Jodi Picoult) once I really started reading the story and getting to know the characters, I found my resilence waivering. Sarah is so often in her head, explaining her reasoning and breaking down her logic. I found myself relating to this character like I haven't in quite a long time. She worries about her children's safety to the point of anxiety and unjustifiable clarity. She has trouble defining herself outside of working mother, loyal wife. She sometimes longs for the past and wonders what would have happened if she just turned left instead of right. She sometimes wants to strangle her husband for his lack of understanding and incredible onesidedness while also wanting to wrap her arms around him for the simple ways he loves his family. If I could relate to her on all of these levels, how could I be so different from her in her way of dealing with his betrayal? And I wouldn't even have said husband writing and publishing a book with all the nasty details of his infidelity!
Leah Stewart takes her readers on an emotional and logical rollercoaster with this book. Every action and reaction of her characters is familiar and yet so hard to understand. What makes a person cheat and what makes a person be faithful? When should we leave and when should we stay? Where do we draw the line? The reader is left to make those decisions for themselves while moving along with Sarah on her journey of resolution and re-self discovery. I loved this book and can't wait to read her others!
July 4, 2010
In this compelling family drama, we meet Sarah Price and her husband, Nathan. She has given up her dreams of creativity for a steady job that supports them, while her husband devotes himself to his fiction and their two small children.
Then, out of the blue, while they are getting ready to attend the wedding of friends, he announces that he has cheated on her. Is this confession a way of escaping the life they have created? And what does it mean for the future?
In the pages that follow, we experience, almost as if it has happened to us, the rage, the fear, the insecurities that characterize Sarah's life. When she thought she knew him and understood the life they had fashioned for themselves, had she been wrong? Now what?
"Husband and Wife" is not your typical story about a life coming apart. It's more about how the characters look back upon who they were and try to rediscover those selves. It's also about how the day-in-and-day-out ordinary stuff of life can sometimes steal the essence of our being.
I loved the parts of this story that delved into the everyday grittiness. The parts that showed us how completely imperfect a life can be. The author granted us a peek into the humorous aspects of parenting, like when the baby has diarrhea during a stopover at McDonald's and how a mother matter-of-factly deals with that.
In the end, the partners have to decide whether or not they can put their lives back together, amidst any other options that might be available.
A complete page turner, I could not wait to see what would happen next—hich was why I gave this book five stars.
Then, out of the blue, while they are getting ready to attend the wedding of friends, he announces that he has cheated on her. Is this confession a way of escaping the life they have created? And what does it mean for the future?
In the pages that follow, we experience, almost as if it has happened to us, the rage, the fear, the insecurities that characterize Sarah's life. When she thought she knew him and understood the life they had fashioned for themselves, had she been wrong? Now what?
"Husband and Wife" is not your typical story about a life coming apart. It's more about how the characters look back upon who they were and try to rediscover those selves. It's also about how the day-in-and-day-out ordinary stuff of life can sometimes steal the essence of our being.
I loved the parts of this story that delved into the everyday grittiness. The parts that showed us how completely imperfect a life can be. The author granted us a peek into the humorous aspects of parenting, like when the baby has diarrhea during a stopover at McDonald's and how a mother matter-of-factly deals with that.
In the end, the partners have to decide whether or not they can put their lives back together, amidst any other options that might be available.
A complete page turner, I could not wait to see what would happen next—hich was why I gave this book five stars.
September 16, 2013
Oh dear. This was a doozy. It was sad and real and raw but so well done. I felt a little miffed with main character, Sarah, for some of her thoughts and actions, but then I realized I was probably being judgemental because I have secretly shared some of those thoughts on motherhood and marriage. Overall, I couldn't jump on board with her life. I wanted to say "two wrongs don't make a right here, sister" but of course, she didn't listen, cause she's a character and I am her reader.
The book was incredibly well-written. I underlined and starred many quotes and passages that resonated and shook me up a little. I did have a bit of a hard time with all the poet speak-pot smoking-starving artist-give up everything good for kids (seemingly) stuff. The funny thing is, though, that I couldn't put the book down. Good reads aren't always warm and fuzzy. Good reads challenge your thinking, make you love word combinations and sentence structure even if you don't like the content and good reads stay with you long after the last page is turned--Husband and Wife, therefore, was a very good read.
The book was incredibly well-written. I underlined and starred many quotes and passages that resonated and shook me up a little. I did have a bit of a hard time with all the poet speak-pot smoking-starving artist-give up everything good for kids (seemingly) stuff. The funny thing is, though, that I couldn't put the book down. Good reads aren't always warm and fuzzy. Good reads challenge your thinking, make you love word combinations and sentence structure even if you don't like the content and good reads stay with you long after the last page is turned--Husband and Wife, therefore, was a very good read.
May 28, 2010
This book could have made an excellent short story. In it, a mother of two young children learns that her husband had a brief affair. She grapples with the infidelity, but more than that, she grapples with her own identity. Has she lost the person that she was? Is that why her husband cheated? Is she still the same person she used to be, or has she changed forever, or both? There are lots of questions here that will resonate with many readers.
However, this book is 350 pages, and it is a bit of a trudge -- especially the parts where the main character is reflecting back on her years in graduate school. To be really successful, it needs more of a plot to pull the reader through its long, descriptive passages.
(FYI -- there is one scene in this book that could be a story of its own. The main character is far from home, in a McDonalds with her baby and preschooler. There is a diaper situation that is so real and so horrific and so realistic I wanted to turn away -- but couldn't).
However, this book is 350 pages, and it is a bit of a trudge -- especially the parts where the main character is reflecting back on her years in graduate school. To be really successful, it needs more of a plot to pull the reader through its long, descriptive passages.
(FYI -- there is one scene in this book that could be a story of its own. The main character is far from home, in a McDonalds with her baby and preschooler. There is a diaper situation that is so real and so horrific and so realistic I wanted to turn away -- but couldn't).
January 25, 2019
This book is raw and emotional. Sarah has been with Nathan for 10 years and they have two young children together. Nathan cheats on Sarah and then writes a book about it and admits that the book is not all fiction. The book follows Sarah through the downhill spiral in the weeks following finding out.
I thought the author did such an amazing job of being so detailed about what exactly Sarah was feeling and why she was feeling that way. I could only bring myself to give it three stars though. Personally, I thought at times Sarah was a little too much to handle and kind of annoying, however, as a newlywed I have never been in a situation like that so it could be a completely accurate description. All in all I was glad I decided to sit down and read the book.
I thought the author did such an amazing job of being so detailed about what exactly Sarah was feeling and why she was feeling that way. I could only bring myself to give it three stars though. Personally, I thought at times Sarah was a little too much to handle and kind of annoying, however, as a newlywed I have never been in a situation like that so it could be a completely accurate description. All in all I was glad I decided to sit down and read the book.
March 22, 2011
This story had a great plot. Sarah is a mother of two young children. She thinks she has a great marraige, Until her husband an author tells her his new book Infidelity isn,t all fiction.He had an affair a year earlier. Sarah has no idea what to do , she never whats to see him again but knows its not possible because of the children. And yet she wants things to stay the same as before.Sarah has some tough choices to make. This is a really engrossing story..Look forward to reading more by Leah Stewart
June 7, 2010
Not a happy book - I don't think reading about infidelity is ever happy - but once I started reading it, I needed to know what was going to happen. I really felt torn about what choices Sarah should make - as much as I wanted to yell at her at times, I understood her reasoning. I liked it a lot better than The Myth of You and Me - plus I loved all the references to Durham!
September 15, 2018
There are a lot of elements to this book besides the fact that wife finds out that her husband has cheated on her in the first couple pages.
It's about her path in life, that she chose to work to support her family when she too was a writer- because her husband is a published writer and it's his career and his latest book is called Infidelity and guess what? it's basically based on his experience with the affair.
But the story is about her having made the choice to stay faithful to her husband when she had ample opportunity, until her husband admits to his affair. This sort of sends her into a tailspin. She wants to work it out. But then she can't. So she leaves and we follow her digression of thoughts and feelings and goals and what she wants out of life. She struggles with her identity- which is a usual fare for women's lit- but it goes deeper than that. The author pinpoints the kind of details that not only happen in any romantic relationship but she captures this ambiguousness that one might feel about her partner and what she's done for the partner which ends up with her losing herself a little.
I was a little disappointed in the ending. And it meanders a little at parts but I couldn't put it down.
It's about her path in life, that she chose to work to support her family when she too was a writer- because her husband is a published writer and it's his career and his latest book is called Infidelity and guess what? it's basically based on his experience with the affair.
But the story is about her having made the choice to stay faithful to her husband when she had ample opportunity, until her husband admits to his affair. This sort of sends her into a tailspin. She wants to work it out. But then she can't. So she leaves and we follow her digression of thoughts and feelings and goals and what she wants out of life. She struggles with her identity- which is a usual fare for women's lit- but it goes deeper than that. The author pinpoints the kind of details that not only happen in any romantic relationship but she captures this ambiguousness that one might feel about her partner and what she's done for the partner which ends up with her losing herself a little.
I was a little disappointed in the ending. And it meanders a little at parts but I couldn't put it down.
January 28, 2019
Meh
I found myself having to readjust for most of the book. Not knowing which part was present and which was a flashback. (Reader error most likely) However, i dont believe the actions of Sarah in the end. She uses Rajiv and then (im assuming) just goes home with Nathan? We're left assuming with no reasoning or explanation of Sarah's thought processes of her final decision. Its safe to say this book was a let-down at best.
I found myself having to readjust for most of the book. Not knowing which part was present and which was a flashback. (Reader error most likely) However, i dont believe the actions of Sarah in the end. She uses Rajiv and then (im assuming) just goes home with Nathan? We're left assuming with no reasoning or explanation of Sarah's thought processes of her final decision. Its safe to say this book was a let-down at best.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 11, 2024
I liked this book more than I thought I would. It doesn’t have the best reviews and I’m not really a big fan of the infidelity trope. This book covered a lot of different sides of the issue. It felt somewhat realistic to me.
May 18, 2011
Marriage is complicated. Extramarital affairs just add to the complication. And the past, well that can be a complication all on its own. In Leah Stewart's novel, Husband and Wife, we find ourselves introduced to Sarah and Nathan, a married couple with two children. She brings home the bacon, while he stays home to fry it - well, he also writes books and takes care of their kids. In fact, his latest book is set to be a best seller, which should be good news. Except that this book is about infidelity (that's the title of the book) and according to Nathan its based on his own extramarital affair. He tells his wife this fact on the night of their best friends' wedding, where they are set to give a toast all about marital bliss. Stunned at this revelation, all Sarah can think of is that they have a wedding to attend. From this point on we are witness to the topsy-turvy whirl of emotions that Sarah undergoes as she struggles to understand what happened to Nathan, their marriage and her sense of self.
This is a novel that explores what happens when you find out that your spouse has cheated on you. How do you react to such news? Who do you blame? Why did this happen? What are your options - separation, divorce, stay married? All of these questions run through Sarah's head as she decides to pretend it never happened, then decides to throw her husband out of the house, and finally decides to take a road trip with her kids. We are privy to all of Sarah's thoughts and actions, whether they be bad or good. We read about Sarah feeling guilty for leaving her children alone so that she can take long drives in the middle of the night. We read about Sarah kissing her husband's best friend. We read about Sarah learning that her husband's mistress will be in town the exact same weekend he suggested that she should take the kids and get away for a few days. We learn about Sarah's life as a grad student in Austin, Texas where she smoked pot and planned on becoming a poet. We learn about the fact that Nathan resents the changes Sarah has made - such as, maintaining a nine to five job instead of writing poetry, no longer reading books or discussing art house films and instead choosing Spider Man 2 as her favorite movie. We also learn about Rajiv and the fact that he has always been a little in love with Sarah and continues to keep in contact with her.
In fact, being that this book is from Sarah's perspective, we learn quite a few things about Sarah's life and are able to gain a better understanding as to why this betrayal has allowed her to take a closer look at the choices she made throughout her life. Recognizing how much of herself she has sacrificed in order to provide for her family has not only affected her marital life, but also her sense of self (her identity). Once passionate about poetry, Sarah realizes that she has not written a poem in years and begins to question why exactly that is. What has prevented her from creating poems? Why has she allowed herself to stop indulging in a passion that was once a huge part of her life? Why did she choose to let Nathan continue to pursue his love of writing, whilst she gave up hers?
By the end of the book, you may or may not agree with some of the choices that Sarah has made along the way, but you do understand how she got to where she is. You find yourself wondering what will happen next for this couple and their kids - will they ever be happy again? Will they allow their past mistakes to remain in the past? Will Sarah write poetry again?
I don't want to reveal everything that happens in the book, because I don't want to spoil the story for you. Suffice it to say that the ending was what I expected. Overall, this is definitely a book I would recommend to anyone who enjoys reading contemporary fiction, specifically women's fiction. Its a book about betrayal and the ways in which one struggles to deal with its aftermath. The writing is solid and emotive and allows you to easily connect with Sarah. The story is filled with details from the past and present that hold your attention throughout. And the characters, whether they be peripheral or center stage, are engaging and memorable. This is a book that has left me wondering so many things about marriage and the concept of identity and self.
This is a novel that explores what happens when you find out that your spouse has cheated on you. How do you react to such news? Who do you blame? Why did this happen? What are your options - separation, divorce, stay married? All of these questions run through Sarah's head as she decides to pretend it never happened, then decides to throw her husband out of the house, and finally decides to take a road trip with her kids. We are privy to all of Sarah's thoughts and actions, whether they be bad or good. We read about Sarah feeling guilty for leaving her children alone so that she can take long drives in the middle of the night. We read about Sarah kissing her husband's best friend. We read about Sarah learning that her husband's mistress will be in town the exact same weekend he suggested that she should take the kids and get away for a few days. We learn about Sarah's life as a grad student in Austin, Texas where she smoked pot and planned on becoming a poet. We learn about the fact that Nathan resents the changes Sarah has made - such as, maintaining a nine to five job instead of writing poetry, no longer reading books or discussing art house films and instead choosing Spider Man 2 as her favorite movie. We also learn about Rajiv and the fact that he has always been a little in love with Sarah and continues to keep in contact with her.
In fact, being that this book is from Sarah's perspective, we learn quite a few things about Sarah's life and are able to gain a better understanding as to why this betrayal has allowed her to take a closer look at the choices she made throughout her life. Recognizing how much of herself she has sacrificed in order to provide for her family has not only affected her marital life, but also her sense of self (her identity). Once passionate about poetry, Sarah realizes that she has not written a poem in years and begins to question why exactly that is. What has prevented her from creating poems? Why has she allowed herself to stop indulging in a passion that was once a huge part of her life? Why did she choose to let Nathan continue to pursue his love of writing, whilst she gave up hers?
By the end of the book, you may or may not agree with some of the choices that Sarah has made along the way, but you do understand how she got to where she is. You find yourself wondering what will happen next for this couple and their kids - will they ever be happy again? Will they allow their past mistakes to remain in the past? Will Sarah write poetry again?
I don't want to reveal everything that happens in the book, because I don't want to spoil the story for you. Suffice it to say that the ending was what I expected. Overall, this is definitely a book I would recommend to anyone who enjoys reading contemporary fiction, specifically women's fiction. Its a book about betrayal and the ways in which one struggles to deal with its aftermath. The writing is solid and emotive and allows you to easily connect with Sarah. The story is filled with details from the past and present that hold your attention throughout. And the characters, whether they be peripheral or center stage, are engaging and memorable. This is a book that has left me wondering so many things about marriage and the concept of identity and self.
August 11, 2011
Husband and Wife could have easily turned into a despairing book about the course of life and marriage. In fact, for the first quarter of the book, the first person narrative combined with what appeared (at the time) to be a long, monological whine led me to believe I would strongly dislike the book. Fortunately, that changed and I was able to enjoy this strong, yet still somewhat melancholy read that does, in fact, reflect on the course of life and marriage. And the more I've thought about this book since reading it the more I've appreciated it, and I've found that my mind focuses a lot on the things I really liked about it.
The book begins as Sarah and Nathan are getting ready to go to a wedding for friends -- one in which they're giving a joint toast on love and marriage. Nathan, caught up in some bad timing guilt, confesses that he cheated on Sarah two summers ago; that his soon-to-be-released book, Infidelity, is, in fact, based on truth. They go through the motions with attending the wedding, but things slowly unravel as Sarah reflects on why Nathan cheated, what it means about her, their marriage, who she has become, etc. And further, does she allow him to continue with publication of the book, even thought it means potentially sharing her defamatory secret with the world? All of Husband and Wife is essentially Sarah's introspection into her life and how she got to where she is from where she was, as well as a self-reflection as she processes what is happening to her in the moment. The storyline isn't necessarily the most original, but Sarah ultimately had some insightful and/or well-written thoughts that anyone in her situation can likely relate to. This first quote is Sarah thinking about the insomnia that hit her shortly after the marital crisis started.
"Of course I didn't know that this sleepless night would be the first of many. Even now it frightens me a little to talk about that time, my capital-I insomnia, because of the possibility that to invoke its name is to invite its return. Oh God, I hope that doesn't happen to me again, you think, and then, because you thought that, it will, and you'll wake once more into a bleak, remorseless stillness. You'll wander in a panic through the rooms of your mind and find them just emptied, as if your thoughts were bugs that scattered as soon as you entered." (pg. 95)
Although most of this book did have a more somber, reflecting tone, about three-quarters of the way through there was a surprisingly comical scene that fit so well into the story. That comic relief was a welcome change and, though short, added a lot to the characters and story.
Here is another metaphor that I liked. The quote is short but described the sentiment well:
"I checked the wall clock and saw that I'd been sitting in the cafeteria for two hours, when I was supposed to be at work. I didn't really care that I was absent, that I was irresponsible. Funny how the loosening of one commitment had loosened all the others, as if they'd all been tied by the same rope."
Ultimately, throughout Husband and Wife I mainly felt a deep sadness for the couple. Like so many couples, Sarah and Nathan are truly a great couple with such potential that basically succumb to the rigors and realities of life. Although it was largely reflective in nature, the writing was still engaging and don't let me make you think that the book was only Sarah thinking to herself. I was afraid of that initially, but there were other plot movements and character involvements that rounded out the story nicely.
Taken from my blog at www.takemeawayreading.com
The book begins as Sarah and Nathan are getting ready to go to a wedding for friends -- one in which they're giving a joint toast on love and marriage. Nathan, caught up in some bad timing guilt, confesses that he cheated on Sarah two summers ago; that his soon-to-be-released book, Infidelity, is, in fact, based on truth. They go through the motions with attending the wedding, but things slowly unravel as Sarah reflects on why Nathan cheated, what it means about her, their marriage, who she has become, etc. And further, does she allow him to continue with publication of the book, even thought it means potentially sharing her defamatory secret with the world? All of Husband and Wife is essentially Sarah's introspection into her life and how she got to where she is from where she was, as well as a self-reflection as she processes what is happening to her in the moment. The storyline isn't necessarily the most original, but Sarah ultimately had some insightful and/or well-written thoughts that anyone in her situation can likely relate to. This first quote is Sarah thinking about the insomnia that hit her shortly after the marital crisis started.
"Of course I didn't know that this sleepless night would be the first of many. Even now it frightens me a little to talk about that time, my capital-I insomnia, because of the possibility that to invoke its name is to invite its return. Oh God, I hope that doesn't happen to me again, you think, and then, because you thought that, it will, and you'll wake once more into a bleak, remorseless stillness. You'll wander in a panic through the rooms of your mind and find them just emptied, as if your thoughts were bugs that scattered as soon as you entered." (pg. 95)
Although most of this book did have a more somber, reflecting tone, about three-quarters of the way through there was a surprisingly comical scene that fit so well into the story. That comic relief was a welcome change and, though short, added a lot to the characters and story.
Here is another metaphor that I liked. The quote is short but described the sentiment well:
"I checked the wall clock and saw that I'd been sitting in the cafeteria for two hours, when I was supposed to be at work. I didn't really care that I was absent, that I was irresponsible. Funny how the loosening of one commitment had loosened all the others, as if they'd all been tied by the same rope."
Ultimately, throughout Husband and Wife I mainly felt a deep sadness for the couple. Like so many couples, Sarah and Nathan are truly a great couple with such potential that basically succumb to the rigors and realities of life. Although it was largely reflective in nature, the writing was still engaging and don't let me make you think that the book was only Sarah thinking to herself. I was afraid of that initially, but there were other plot movements and character involvements that rounded out the story nicely.
Taken from my blog at www.takemeawayreading.com
June 16, 2015
I am torn between three and four stars. . .three and a half stars would be perfect. After pondering for a few minutes, I settled on three stars based on the fact that I was spending so much time pondering whether to give it three or four stars.
This book takes an honest look at both marriage and motherhood. . .about coming to terms with the person we were before, the person we thought we would be, the person we are now, and whether we would choose to go back to the person we were if given the opportunity. The writing is wonderful and I found myself reading several passages over and over because it was just that good! The main character, Sarah, is likable because she is so darn honest and real. So so many times while reading this book I found myself saying, "yes, Sarah, yes, I have felt the same way so many times!" But she says it sooooo much better than I ever could.
I'm going to be honest here myself. If I had read this book when my children were babies, I would have undoubtedly given this book five stars. In fact, I wish I had read this book back then (not possible since it wasn't written). If I had read it at that time then I would have felt less alone. As women we are taught at a very early age that motherhood is everything, no greater joy in the world. And I would agree with that sentiment. But the loneliness, the disappointments, the resentment, the "what ifs" . . .we don't discuss those things. And since they aren't discussed, I personally felt that this was a flaw in me. Something must be wrong with me as a mom. That's what I thought sometimes because I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy being a wife and mother 100% of the time.
Anyway, this book made me think, and I like that. It makes me want to tell all of you young moms, it's not you, there is nothing wrong with you, you are still a wonderful wife and mother, even if you have negative thoughts about your life from time to time. It will pass. But don't even get me started on the husband. He reminds me too much of my ex-husband, so I really don't think I can make an objective comment on him. ;-)
This book takes an honest look at both marriage and motherhood. . .about coming to terms with the person we were before, the person we thought we would be, the person we are now, and whether we would choose to go back to the person we were if given the opportunity. The writing is wonderful and I found myself reading several passages over and over because it was just that good! The main character, Sarah, is likable because she is so darn honest and real. So so many times while reading this book I found myself saying, "yes, Sarah, yes, I have felt the same way so many times!" But she says it sooooo much better than I ever could.
I'm going to be honest here myself. If I had read this book when my children were babies, I would have undoubtedly given this book five stars. In fact, I wish I had read this book back then (not possible since it wasn't written). If I had read it at that time then I would have felt less alone. As women we are taught at a very early age that motherhood is everything, no greater joy in the world. And I would agree with that sentiment. But the loneliness, the disappointments, the resentment, the "what ifs" . . .we don't discuss those things. And since they aren't discussed, I personally felt that this was a flaw in me. Something must be wrong with me as a mom. That's what I thought sometimes because I couldn't understand why I wasn't happy being a wife and mother 100% of the time.
Anyway, this book made me think, and I like that. It makes me want to tell all of you young moms, it's not you, there is nothing wrong with you, you are still a wonderful wife and mother, even if you have negative thoughts about your life from time to time. It will pass. But don't even get me started on the husband. He reminds me too much of my ex-husband, so I really don't think I can make an objective comment on him. ;-)
June 18, 2011
Husband and Wife is a very real, very raw, emotional book about dealing with infidelity. Most of the wife’s thoughts tend toward the negative,and most of the book is written in her thoughts. The story is one bumpy ride to read, one that made me give my own husband a few extra hugs. In fact one night when reading the end, I snuggled a little closer to him as well once I closed the book. It is an easy read as far as the way it is written, and maybe it is too easily understood, too close, makes one feel vulnerable to how life can change on a dime that makes it a tough read as well. When I shared more poignant passages with my husband, he agreed with me that while negative, the author portrayed a harsh reality of this world.
Would I recommend this book? Guess that all depends on who is asking. I would think you have to be in a good state of mind to endure the emotional roller-coaster Sarah is on. It never was a pick me up book. I have been around quite a few marriages in the last few years that ended because of cheating, and I would have to say this book seemed very accurate as one looking in on those situations, the support side. However, I don’t think I would recommend the read to any of those people any time soon. Well, maybe one who I think may benefit from the commiserating in their joint anger. LOL There is therapy to be found in commonality. It is a touchy subject, one I think that this author handled very well, with a brilliance actually in portraying such raw emotions.
Would I recommend this book? Guess that all depends on who is asking. I would think you have to be in a good state of mind to endure the emotional roller-coaster Sarah is on. It never was a pick me up book. I have been around quite a few marriages in the last few years that ended because of cheating, and I would have to say this book seemed very accurate as one looking in on those situations, the support side. However, I don’t think I would recommend the read to any of those people any time soon. Well, maybe one who I think may benefit from the commiserating in their joint anger. LOL There is therapy to be found in commonality. It is a touchy subject, one I think that this author handled very well, with a brilliance actually in portraying such raw emotions.
May 11, 2013
This book spoke to me. As a new mom, Sarah’s struggle to find her identity was one I could understand. I think any mom and wife, especially ones with young children now, will find themselves nodding in agreement with many of Sarah’s thoughts. I felt completely understood.
That being said, Sarah is no saint and some of the things she does are destructive and dangerous. But Stewart does such a good job of making me understand Sarah that I never totally wrote her off. I felt her pain. I didn’t like Nathan either, he seemed like a loser with a capital L, until I started to understand their relationship and marriage- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I love stories about marriage and all the complications that inherently make themselves known. When one person cheats, can trust be restored? Can she stay in the marriage? When a woman becomes a mother, is she still the same woman she was before? Should she be? Is there a way to be a mother and retain your identity and your dreams? Again, the identity issues are ones I’m struggling with right now so I loved this book. As an older mom this passage made me nod my head,
“My mother was twenty-two when she had me.”
“My mother was twenty-five.”
“Can you imagine? That was when we were in grad school. Can you imagine having had kids at that age? I didn’t even know who I was.”
She settled back into the couch cushions. “Don’t you think knowing who you are makes it harder? I mean, you know who you are, and then it becomes really hard to be who you are.”
Chapter 16
That being said, Sarah is no saint and some of the things she does are destructive and dangerous. But Stewart does such a good job of making me understand Sarah that I never totally wrote her off. I felt her pain. I didn’t like Nathan either, he seemed like a loser with a capital L, until I started to understand their relationship and marriage- the good, the bad, and the ugly.
I love stories about marriage and all the complications that inherently make themselves known. When one person cheats, can trust be restored? Can she stay in the marriage? When a woman becomes a mother, is she still the same woman she was before? Should she be? Is there a way to be a mother and retain your identity and your dreams? Again, the identity issues are ones I’m struggling with right now so I loved this book. As an older mom this passage made me nod my head,
“My mother was twenty-two when she had me.”
“My mother was twenty-five.”
“Can you imagine? That was when we were in grad school. Can you imagine having had kids at that age? I didn’t even know who I was.”
She settled back into the couch cushions. “Don’t you think knowing who you are makes it harder? I mean, you know who you are, and then it becomes really hard to be who you are.”
Chapter 16
June 2, 2010
What an interesting book! After reading the first 50 pages or so, I couldn't decide if I was going to like this book, or even if I wanted to finish it. I had not read Leah Stewart's other books, and had won this on Goodreads. My first complaint was that I just didn't like the main characters. Sarah, the narrator, seemed kind of whiny. But - I am really glad I persevered in reading the book! the more I read, the more I liked Stewart's writing. And I was actually interested in how the story turned out.
Anyway - the "plot" involves Sarah and Nathan, a young couple with two young children. Nathan is an author who has just written a book titled "Infidelity" - and he confesses to Sarah that part of it is true - he was unfaithful to her about a year ago. The rest of the 300+ pages is essentially Sarah trying to come to grips with this revelation. She DOES do a lot of whining, and feeling sorry for herself, and behaving irresponsibly. But the more I read, the more I believe that many of her thoughts were probably universal. It is interesting to imagine ourselves as either Nathan or Sarah - and comparing our current lives with what we were, or how we imagined ourselves in younger days. Can we ever go back to our old self? Or is our old self really part of us now? I really think this would be a good book to discuss in a book group.
Anyway - the "plot" involves Sarah and Nathan, a young couple with two young children. Nathan is an author who has just written a book titled "Infidelity" - and he confesses to Sarah that part of it is true - he was unfaithful to her about a year ago. The rest of the 300+ pages is essentially Sarah trying to come to grips with this revelation. She DOES do a lot of whining, and feeling sorry for herself, and behaving irresponsibly. But the more I read, the more I believe that many of her thoughts were probably universal. It is interesting to imagine ourselves as either Nathan or Sarah - and comparing our current lives with what we were, or how we imagined ourselves in younger days. Can we ever go back to our old self? Or is our old self really part of us now? I really think this would be a good book to discuss in a book group.
October 13, 2022
re-skimmed: even after he's caught cheating he invents an excuse for his wife and children to leave town so he can see ow, presumably bc "wanted to make sure I didn't have any feelings for her. I wanted to know why... why I let things happen." he seems more scuzzy on the reread and not really as apologetic as i remember, so I'm giving it two stars. and also the fact that he decided to capitalize on cheating, as if that were the only memorable thing he could write about... ick. The h had a good comeback for that though, called him a selfish asshole/motherfucking prick.
I won't give a rating bc I skimmed more than I actually read. I didn't like the ambiguous ending, but I thought the "cheated on h reinvents herself" trope was well done. I especially liked the way the husband was portrayed. Ok so he's not an ideal guy, actually I'm not even calling him an H. He was a cheater who laments the fact that she's let her creative artsy side slip, even implying it's why he had to get some side action when it was the husband who pushed her down this path in the first place (so he could work on his art without any worry). So yeah, he's a dick.
BUT, this was the first cheating novel I've read (and I've read many) where I really felt the cheater's regret. I pretty much always side with the betrayed h in these cases, but I believed he made a mistake and had actually learned from it.
I won't give a rating bc I skimmed more than I actually read. I didn't like the ambiguous ending, but I thought the "cheated on h reinvents herself" trope was well done. I especially liked the way the husband was portrayed. Ok so he's not an ideal guy, actually I'm not even calling him an H. He was a cheater who laments the fact that she's let her creative artsy side slip, even implying it's why he had to get some side action when it was the husband who pushed her down this path in the first place (so he could work on his art without any worry). So yeah, he's a dick.
BUT, this was the first cheating novel I've read (and I've read many) where I really felt the cheater's regret. I pretty much always side with the betrayed h in these cases, but I believed he made a mistake and had actually learned from it.
October 23, 2011
This book promised to be more. No kidding, at times I thought I'd give this book a five star rating. The writing swept me along.
Until the story fell apart and wandered aimlessly.
The writing is aggressive, always pushing forward. The premise is simple: how does a talented woman who has sacrificed her career as a poet cope with her author husband telling her that his latest novel about infidelity is based on fact.
This 35 year old mother of two young children does not cope with the news. She rages, she falls into depression, she wonders how she will handle looking at her cheating bastard of a husband in the face every morning. She owns the high ground. The wife works at a job to make ends meet in order to allow her husband to work on his novels.
Still, the truth leaks through. Both characters are flawed, both are damaged. Both are annoying.
Then the wheel turns. We learn the scorned wife is no paragon of virtue.
That detail is where the book falls apart. The ending is a flat line truth.
The ending is not the stuff to spark reading devotion, which is why I give this three stars. Well worth reading for the writing. Still, by the end I wanted the wife and husband to be locked into a steel cage death match.
Until the story fell apart and wandered aimlessly.
The writing is aggressive, always pushing forward. The premise is simple: how does a talented woman who has sacrificed her career as a poet cope with her author husband telling her that his latest novel about infidelity is based on fact.
This 35 year old mother of two young children does not cope with the news. She rages, she falls into depression, she wonders how she will handle looking at her cheating bastard of a husband in the face every morning. She owns the high ground. The wife works at a job to make ends meet in order to allow her husband to work on his novels.
Still, the truth leaks through. Both characters are flawed, both are damaged. Both are annoying.
Then the wheel turns. We learn the scorned wife is no paragon of virtue.
That detail is where the book falls apart. The ending is a flat line truth.
The ending is not the stuff to spark reading devotion, which is why I give this three stars. Well worth reading for the writing. Still, by the end I wanted the wife and husband to be locked into a steel cage death match.
April 12, 2010
Husband and Wife is a novel by Leah Stewart. The story begins with the main character, Sarah, learning that her husband's recent novel was partly based on personal experience...experience cheating on her. The story follows how this revelation effects Sarah as it leads her to contemplate the adult she has become and other paths her younger self could have taken. The plot itself didn't wow me, but I really loved Stewart's prose. The writing carried me through the book and fleshed out well-developed characters so I enjoyed the journey even though I wasn't overly drawn by the basic plot.
I'd have picked 3.5 stars if I could...4.5 for writing, 2.5 for plot.
(This review is based on an early copy of the book sent to me by HarperCollins).
I'd have picked 3.5 stars if I could...4.5 for writing, 2.5 for plot.
(This review is based on an early copy of the book sent to me by HarperCollins).
July 11, 2010
One of the most realistic novels I've read on the subject of marriage and infidelity. Some of the other reviewers have complained about the wife's "bad behavior" and "whininess" but it really rang true to me. I have a friend who had the same experience and reacted in the same way, right down to tracking down old boyfriends for a little revenge. I also loved the portrayal of the children: they were a perfect and completely believable mixture of adorable and soul-crushing. (There's a scene in a McDonald's involving long lines, a screaming baby, and explosive poop which is the most visceral bit of writing I've encountered in ages.)
June 11, 2010
This book literally gutted me with how easily, how inevitably, every marriage becomes That Cliche after you have children. No matter how unique your beginning or how clever or cool or different you were convinced you would be. No one goes into marriage expecting to become That Woman. There should be some shared comfort or something in that knowledge. Instead this book left me exhausted. And sad. And profoundly amazed at how similar our life experiences are. And how little separates me from Those That Have Been Cheated On. Great read.
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