The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy

by John M. Gottman

Here one will find not only a wide range of succinct and useful assessment procedures, but also a highly specific, research-based, and modularized treatment program. In addition, there are dozens of questionnaires and interview protocols to be used in both assessment and intervention.


In prospective, long-term research with over 700 couples, Gottman has discovered certain factors that distinguish happy, stable couples from both unstable, ultimately divorcing couples and stable but unhappy couples. These findings, which are explained here in understandable, nontechnical language, form the basis of his Sound Marital House theory of marriage, which guides the new therapy. This therapy has two goals: changing the marital friendship and teaching couples to regulate conflict.


Despite the high aims of much marital therapy, Gottman found that most marital conflicts involve fundamentally unresolvable relationship issues called "perpetual problems." He shows how therapists can help spouses move from gridlock to dialogue on these issues. Solvable problems can be resolved more easily when the couple has a strong marital friendship. He gives therapists the tools to teach spouses five fundamental skills to develop and strengthen their friendship: softened start-up, accepting influence, repair and de-escalation, compromise, and physiological soothing.


Gottman compares his clinic to a restaurant, where clients are offered a menu of treatment formats, from psychoeducation for specific issues to extended therapy to repair a badly damaged marital friendship. Therapists, too, can choose among the questionnaires and strategies for those that fit the needs of particular couples. Whatever their choice, they will find that their practice is greatly enriched by the scientifically-based offerings of The Marriage Clinic.

Genres: Psychology, Relationships, Marriage, Counselling, Nonfiction, Self Help, Love

480 pages, Hardcover

First published March 1, 1999

About the author

Dr. Gottman was one of the Top 10 Most Influential Therapists of the past quarter-century by the Psychotherapy Networker. He is the author or co-author of over 200 published academic articles and more than 40 books, including the bestselling The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work; What Makes Love Last; Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love; The Relationship Cure; Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; and Raising An Emotionally Intelligent Child — among many others. Dr. Gottman’s media appearances include Good Morning America, Today, CBS Morning News, and Oprah, as well articles in The New York Times, Ladies Home Journal, Redbook, Glamour, Woman’s Day, People, Self, Reader’s Digest, and Psychology Today.

Co-founder of The Gottman Institute and co-founder of Affective Software, Inc. with his wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, John was also the Executive Director of the Relationship Research Institute. He is Professor Emeritus of Psychology at the University of Washington, where he founded “The Love Lab” at which much of his research on couples’ interactions was conducted.

Reviews

[Ramón Nogueras Pérez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Un recurso imprescindible para aquellos que trabajamos en terapia de pareja. El tema es que acaba de salir una nueva edición ampliada y actualizada en 2024, que acabo de conseguir. Ojalá haberlo sabido hace unos meses. En fin.

[Desi · Rating 4 out of 5]

THE book to use if doing Gottman therapy with couples. Fantastic theory based solidly in science. Definitly geared to the clinician. If interested in reading a book written for self-help, this isn't it. But please read his other books!

[Erik Kohl · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book to have on your shelf if you do marriage counseling.

[Jose · Rating 5 out of 5]

Changes the way I look at marital therapy, my understanding of science improves, and i now believe this to be the book i will be using extensively with my students. too bad it took me this long to get to this research.

[Georgia Bryce · Rating 5 out of 5]

OUTSTANDING!!

[Vange]

I think this research applies to relationships outside of marriage. Bids for connection…… Contempt….… and more. Shout out to Brene B for interviewing Seattle psych icons John and Julie G and getting me interested in their work

[Vanessa · Rating 5 out of 5]

this book is a revelation...for the currently or previously or not-yet married--if you have been in an intimate relationship with someone or aspire to be, the rich and incredibly insightful info here applies to you! the Gottmans have done some of the only empirically validated research on couples and found the patterns of behavior that predict success and stability vs. divorce or dissolution. i learned a lot about myself reading this book and wish that i'd read it years ago!

[Nathan Schneider · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mull through the statistical research and this is a great resource for marriage counseling. Gottman's approach to marriage therapy is a compilation/ critique of popular research and his own extensive research. His model is specifically explained and the process is easy to follow with plenty of case studies. Study the principles in this book for an easy to adapt model of marriage therapy.

[Merz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Text book for Couple therapy class with Dr. Luskin as a part go PsyD Clinical Psychology
7 principles on the road to happily ever after by John Gottman.
Summary of Gottman Method Couples Therapy
1.Enhance your love map
2. Nurture fondness and admiration
3. Turn toward each other 4. Let your partner influence you
5. Solve your solvable problems
6. Overcome gridlock
7. Create shared meaning

[Sandra · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really appreciate all the research Gottman has done to provide us with up to date research on relationships and marriages. However I didn't find his style of writing engaging and I also found that his theory did not mesh well with my worldview. I will say that there are a lot of useful tools in this book as far as interventions with couples.

[Maureen · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lots and lots of clinical questionnaires

[Quizaya · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this after participating in the gottman marriage seminar. Wow, I can see me and my husband in so many of these case studies. I really wish that we had a gottman clinician in our area.

[Stacy Marian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gottman is amazing but this is one of his most challenging books as far as density and ease of reading.

[Glenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Good enough. Outlines research culled to support his approach. Almost everything you'd get in his level 1 and 2 trainings (with some exceptions, though).

[Natalie · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was introduced to the Gottmans a few years ago and loved their work. This book is really interesting because it’s almost clinical with stats and exercises that couples can do. Having considered changing careers to being a therapist this book was a “fun” read. It’s as if they are showing all the patterns and diagnostics and then allowing you to apply which one is relevant. It also really opened my mind to how much distress people can endure and that recalibration was good for me.

[Jorge Rodighiero · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the bible for couples therapists.
Instead of just following untested assumptions, Gottman has researched for decades what works and what doesn't in romantic relationships, and how to help couples to achieve a good enough relationship.
It even has his questionnaires in the back, and dozens of exercises to implement in the therapy itself!

[Lyna M. Perez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Even though this book is written for therapists, I found it particularly enlightening. It provided the background research that supported his advice in other relationship books (written for people in relationships).

[Rachel Miao · Rating 4 out of 5]

appreciated the inventories/exercises - very practical!

[K · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.8/5 ⭐️

[Goose · Rating 4 out of 5]

Gottman is the master of couples therapy. Very clinical and still entertaining. I really enjoyed it.

[Leahna · Rating 1 out of 5]

Out of date, sexist, not for the casual consumer. DNF

[Daylee Pruitt · Rating 3 out of 5]

An informational but hard read. Very jargon based and can sometimes be hard to keep reading.

[Juliana · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great reminder of the Gottman principles and how to apply them in clinical practice.

[Gideon · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great research on marriage. So useful.

[Lindsay Pierce · Rating 5 out of 5]

Gottman is an expert in the field of Marriage and this book is a clear consolidation of his research and work with couples. I read this book as part of my Counseling Psychology studies and though highly academic, especially in the earlier chapters, there is a lot of relevant information for anyone looking to improve their relationship and/or marriage. Knowing the "Four Horseman" has been especially beneficial in how I view relationships (and my own!) and learning what criticism is and what it does within a marriage.

I recommend this book for all students in the field of psychology, counseling, social work, and related fields, and also to more academically minded readers who wish to learn about the "Sound Marital House" and the research supporting its efficacy.