The Boy with the Thorn in His Side: A Memoir

by Keith Fleming

This very moving memoir tells the story of a dramatic Sixteen-year-old Keith Fleming's life is literally saved when his young uncle Ed, the writer Edmund White, impulsively agrees to "adopt" him. Installed in the maid's room of his uncle's busy apartment on Manhattan's Upper West Side where the phone never stops ringing, Keith soon finds himself transformed as Uncle Ed whirls into action--arranging treatment for Keith's disfiguring acne; enrolling him in prep school despite huge gaps in Keith's academic record caused by time spent in mental hospitals and a hippie "free school"; and instructing his nephew in a worldly view of life and love (an early reading Lolita and Lord Chesterfield's Letters to His Son). Five months later Uncle Ed, who is both strapped for cash as well as completely caught up in the beehive of social and sexual activity of 1970s gay Manhattan, must decide if he can afford to "adopt" another child-Keith's fourteen-year-old Mexican girlfriend, the beautiful Laura, who has just run away from her convent school. Though Keith's new life in New York forms the heart of the story, this powerful, entertaining memoir begins by tracing how young Keith evolves from being a member of a seemingly ordinary suburban family into a teen so miserably defiant that he is put in the hands of a tyrannical psychiatrist. Here, on a locked adolescent psychiatric ward, Keith meets the bewitching Laura. The two teens begin a passionate love affair--only to be separated and placed in different hospitals. By turns lyrical, funny, and poignant, and always informed by touching candor, The Boy with the Thorn in His Side is full of fascinating characters and unexpected twists-at once an odyssey into the extremes of the American 1970s, a universal tale of star-crossed teenage love, and an account of a deeply sensitive young person's struggle to find his place in the world. It marks the debut of a poised and compelling writer. Keith Fleming had been a pretty ordinary Midwestern kid--Little League, Boy Scouts--but the year he turns twelve, his family is torn apart by divorce when he learns that his mother and his Uncle Ed are both gay. By the time Keith is fifteen he has become disfigured by severe acne and is so wild that his father and stepmother place him in a draconian adolescent mental institution. Here he meets Laura, a pretty Mexican girl with whom he begins a passionate love affair. Keith's mother finally demands his release after a series of hospitalizations and sends him off to live with his uncle, Edmund White, in New York. Keith is soon transformed by his young He is sent to a dermatologist, to Barneys "Boy's Town" for new clothes, and to prep school. He receives a broad cultural education from Uncle Ed at home--all this despite Ed's being poor as well as completely caught up in the beehive of social and sexual activity of 1970s gay Manhattan. In the tradition of This Boy's Life and Girl, Interrupted, The Boy with a Thorn in His Side is a beautifully rendered saga of a deeply sensitive and alienated teen struggling to find his place in the world-and at the same time a very modern tale of teenage love and a young person's touching and complicated bond with an unlikely hero.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, LGBT, Biography Memoir

224 pages, Paperback

First published May 3, 2000

Reviews

[MariNaomi · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book even more than the one I read earlier this year that was written by its star "character," Edmund White. Though not as fancy with words, Mr. Fleming does a great job giving the reader a clear visual of how he saw the world. It does a really good job peering into adolescent isolation, which is something I'd forgotten a lot about, and made me glad for the parents I had back then, as rocky as that relationship had been.

[Mary K · Rating 4 out of 5]

I can see why this book wasn’t a commercial success but I loved it. The writing was beautiful and the story was interesting.

[Angeline · Rating 5 out of 5]

Handed to me by my little brother who convinced me that the author was related to famed James Bond creator, Ian Fleming, (he isn't!), I read this book with very little expectations. However, after the first ten pages, I was hooked. Keith re-hashes his incredible life story with compelling words that made me not want to put down this book. A touching autobiography that takes its reader through the thoughts of Keith as a teenager, this book has everything it needs to be classified as a great read. With the perfect amount of wit and seriousness, I felt like I was actually in Chicago and New York and every bughouse that Keith was sent to as a troubled and misunderstood teenager. Taking us through his journey of love and life in his younger years, it is amazing how captivating this book was. Even the open ending was simply perfect. A definite must-read.

[Rogine · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have a habit of wandering around the nonfiction aisle if our local library and checking out random memoirs that managed to catch my interest. Keith Fleming's The Boy with the Thorn in His Side was one of this memoirs and I cannot emphasize enough how glad I am I stumbled upon this rare gem. It followed the crazy roller coaster ride that is Fleming's adolescent life, and every page of the book is a wild loop that one simply cannot get enough of. This was indeed a thrilling ride from start to finish.

Fleming's life started out as normal as it can be. Gifted in both athletics and academics, this happy suburban boy could not ask for more. But as life tends to take a turn for the worst, he found himself losing the life he used to have. As he faced adolescence with his parents' divorce, raging hormonal changes, and one unfortunate circumstance after another, he developed a bubbling pot of teen angst that everybody who went through this stage can relate to.

This memoir gave off a sense of nostalgia that reminded the readers about the awkward and terrible adolescence stage. As cringeworthy and painful the memories of being a teenager are, one cannot deny that these moments of our lives made us the people we are today. This stage of our lives is reserved for wrong decisions, questionable choices, and irrational behavior, and as we pass this chapter of our lives, we could look back and see how much we have grown from being that annoying teenager to this mature adult. Fleming wrote about his personal transformation and the journey he took to get where he is today.

For I just read Augusten Burroughs' Running with Scissors only few weeks ago, I cannot help but compare Fleming's and Burroughs' unusual lives with each other. Both memoirs explored the themes of adolescence, rebellion, lust, appearance insecurities, and of course, dysfunctional families. One might think that this combination of topics is a bit cliché and overused, and it's true. But nonetheless, these books are important for teenagers to get a hold of for them to feel less isolated and alone in this world. As we watch the teenage selves of these well-renowned writers navigate themselves out of the chaotic stage that is adolescence right before our eyes, we-the readers- get this feeling of hope that things will indeed get better for each one of us.

[Kathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

I found it disturbing to see how easy it was in the 1970's to put a child into mental institution for simply being a non-compliant teenager. Fleming's tale of his father's negligence and his uncle's giving spirit made this an interesting read. His uncle, Edmund White, is a writer, and after reading this memoir, I would love to read his novels.

[Geri Hoekz · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ah, adolescence. More people would survive it intact if they had an Uncle Ed to take them in when everything gets to be too much. Those who didn't have a golden youth (this includes me) will be able to identify with many of Keith's experiences. Not an all-loose-ends-tied-neatly feel-good book, but full of hope anyway.

[Mediaman · Rating 4 out of 5]

Excellent coming-of-age memoir that only lacks five-star status because it stops way too soon, when the author is 18 and not yet out of high school. It is very well written and taught me a number of things (it's honestly rare to get life lessons from most self-serving autobiographies). I just wish Fleming would have continued on through his graduation and start of adulthood.

There are basically two parts to the book. The first is his sad upbringing by two horrible parents that divorced, with the dad demanding custody then institutionalizing the author for a few years, and the mom turning lesbian and not wanting the son around the house. He was left totally abandoned in his formative years, the irony being the dad tried to act like a strong leader and the mom went on to be a therapist when she was the one who needed the mental health help!

His time in the psych hospitals is shocking, I didn't know parents could be so unloving or uncaring, and the way Fleming tells it he simply was a typical teen that tried to sneak away at night. His savior becomes his uncle, author Edmund White who is a prominent gay New York City hustler and author of a gay sex book. This man saves Fleming's life by bringing him to New York and teaching him about life.

The book has sex, pensive moments, a lot of snarky gay comments, and insights into the way men think--both straight and homosexual. Uncle Ed makes some of the most profound statements ever regarding gay men, a few that wouldn't make it on paper almost 25 years after this was published due to the woke politically correct culture. The impact the famous author had on his nephew was profound, and Keith Fleming was able to pass along to the rest of us that thorns can sometimes be gifts in disguise.

[Esther · Rating 4 out of 5]

Ok so attracted by the quirk of the title, but reading the back cover blurb this sounded really interesting - and it was. Nephew of writer EB White, has a extremely troubled adolescence and ends up moving to NYC in the 70s to live with his gay Uncle. Fascinating insight into so many of the social mores and attitudes of the time. He is locked up in an adolescent mental institution at 16, for seemingly being angry at his dysfunctional parents divorce. Its really shocking how badly he was treated and his Uncle really saved him from a terrible Father. NYC in the 70s in all its grime and covert gay scene in the Village is so interesting to read about. Its not all gloom, his Uncle and his friends sound so wonderful.

[George Neville-Neil · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’ve never been a fan of Edmund White’s writing. I find it is as white and boring as his name. But the view of him as a person wrought in this memoir by the nephew he pretty much rescued is more interesting. The memoir itself is a good and quick read.

[Omeed · Rating 5 out of 5]

I experienced the cliche of time flying while reading this fantastic memoir.

[H · Rating 4 out of 5]

Great memoir. Can't believe he hasn't written anything since this.

[Robert · Rating 3 out of 5]

How did an otherwise unknown young writer named Keith Fleming come out of nowhere to get his memoir published by a major publisher (William Morrow) back in 2000? Well, it really helped that Fleming’s uncle is noted author Edmund White, and even moreso that Fleming lived with White for a time during his quite turbulent adolescence in fast and easy mid-1970’s gay New York. Fleming is no Ed White but he’s a skilled and engaging writer nonetheless, and his book is a quick, entertaining diversion. I had just read Ed White’s novel The Farewell Symphony and this book is a nice followup, a sort of tasty light dessert (White wrote in fictionalized form about Fleming’s stay in several chapters of Farewell Symphony). Ultimately Fleming delivers a well-rounded, warmly sympathetic portrait of White, who emerges as a fascinating mixture of hard-working role model-slash-hedonist Bon Vivant. I finished the memoir with the thought that Fleming was quite lucky to have had White as an uncle to stay with during a time of intense family and individual strife, not just because it all made for a good story and a book deal, but because White sounds like a wonderful person in general to have as a relative, especially for a teenage boy groping through darkness and much family drama and dysfunction towards some semblance of a stable life.

[Jrivasmd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Found this book donated to my bookshelf, by whom I'm not sure. So glad I read it. The author is the nephew of writer Edmund White, with whose work I am not (yet) familiar. It is a coming of age memoir written in 2000 by a young boy whose adolescence was notable for not being loved by anyone, including himself. Dumped by his father in an inpatient psychiatric unit, (a cheap stay if you have insurance), he meets the sadistic Dr. Schwartz and spirals deeper into depression. Aided by his mother, he is broken out and sent to live with his Uncle Ed where he is met with unconditional love and abundant generosity. His uncle, a hip young gay intellectual of the 70's had himself lived through an excruciating adolescence. Under Ed's loving care and tutelage, Keith learns for the first time what it means to live with family who loves and cares or him. A little rough at the edges, the book is nonetheless remarkable for having been so honestly and plainly written, candidly describing his sexual, emotional and social life from young boyhood through adolescence.

[Scott · Rating 3 out of 5]

Honestly, I was drawn to the Smiths' title of this memoir and was awarded the bonus surprise of this being about the nephew of Edmund White. While being pulled between divorced parents whose lifestyles did not include Keith, he accepts the invitation from Uncle Ed to live with him in NYC via the Chicago suburbs. Finally escaping the bughouse, Keith must adapt his academic and social life to mold into his new NY digs. All in all, this memoir was less about Keith and more about furthering the reader's insight on Edmund White's creative and boundless lifestyle.

[Debbie · Rating 5 out of 5]

someone once said this was a "best friend of a book," and as oblique as that sounds, I'd have to agree. It's like someone confiding in you when they're at their lowest low, but you still love them.

i'd read it again if i had a copy lying around.

[Maureen Stanton · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a solid memoir, but (perhaps unfairly) one cannot help compare Fleming's book about his childhood and his relationship with his uncle, the brilliant Edmund white; he is not nearly the caliber writer his uncle is.

[Eduardo Coronel · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the first books that i ever read, after this book i fell in love with reading, It helped me understand the world better looking at it through somebody else's eyes.

[Eric · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have read some of Edmund White's book. I stumbled upon this book at Savers or Goodwill. It's a good read. The book interesting so far.

[Steven Spector · Rating 4 out of 5]

One of the more engrossing books I've read in a few years. In less than 200pp the author tells the story of a good chunk of his childhood honestly and vividly. Recommended for kids of all ages!

[Cathy Houston · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting memoir from Ed White's nephew. Show Mr. White as a very kind man helping his nephew through a very difficult adolesence

[Dean Kostos]

Gripping, poignant, honest.

[Gila Gila · Rating 3 out of 5]

Odd that a memoir can be both moving and dull, but that was my experience of this one.